* Posts by Colin Millar

1166 posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

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At the BBC, Agile means 'making it up as we go along'

Colin Millar

Re: E20

Public sector project traffic lights - an insiders guide

Green - This was something that already existed but we changed all the fonts - delivered only three years late and at double the budget - trebles all round!!

Yellow - It will never be delivered but no-one has yet noticed - this gravy train is still open for relatives and friends to get their bit

Red - oh fuck - we're going to need a scapegoat - where's that work experience bloke we send out for the lattes

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Europe's new privacy safeguards are finally approved, must invade EU nations by 2018

Colin Millar

Re: EU über alles

Yeah - lets do a deal with the US - where Congress is currently considering rendering all progress in data security in the 21st century illegal. I hear the PRC are lobbying hard for that one.

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Bezos defends Amazon culture in letter to shareholders

Colin Millar

Re: It's a Cultural Revolution

Nope - that was one of them - the score for the Cultural Revolution was in the 100s of thousands but nowhere near the scale of the great leap (somewhere between 20 and 50 million). Also - the Great Leap was a fuck up by Mao - the persecution and deaths of the cultural revolution was quite deliberate policy as he re-asserted his power by blaming it all on the "bourgeois" elements within the party who had questioned the wisdom of the great leap and dared to criticise Mao.

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Colin Millar

Re: It's a Cultural Revolution

The millions of dead thing - I think you will find that was the Great Leap Forward - said massive fuck-up from which the great leader needed to divert attention in a hurry. The management principle remains the same - "it wasn't me - it was all these disloyal underlings".

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Colin Millar

It's a Cultural Revolution

No - really - Chairman Mao would be proud to see that his legacy is being kept alive by the running dog capitalists - it is a tried and tested method for re-asserting the power of tyrants after they have fucked up big time.

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FBI Director defends iPhone 5C unlock tool that's obviously going to leak into wrong hands

Colin Millar

Oh the ironing

Trust us - we're the guys who bugged MLK - reason for wiretap request - cos this is one uppity n****r

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PayPal freezes 400-job expansion in North Carolina over bonkers religious freedom law

Colin Millar

Re: America

kmac499

4) the gents at the old Wembley stadium at half time on cup final day - complete free-for all

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Angry Vodafone customers spark Ofcom probe after phone bill overcharge snafu

Colin Millar

Must learn to read the sub-headings

I thought it said "partial outrage"

Had an image there of Voda customers trying to be properly outraged but having all the energy required for a real rant being gradually sucked from them by the Kafkaesque nightmare that is the customer services of any modern wallet sucking enterprise.

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Google's dream city isn't a new idea

Colin Millar

Engineers v Politicians

It is very fashionable these days to blame politicians for all the ills of the world (I go in for a bit of pol bashing myself now and then) - but for supposedly intelligent people to propose that simply banishing politicians is the answer (or even part of the answer) just shows that they are even less suited than the pols to dealing with the inevitable problems thrown up when 7+ billion carbon based life forms with free will, emotions, fears and abstract thinking are all trying to get from her to there (eventually).

Absolutist obedience to the scientists and engineers is just as bad as blaming politicians that we elected because they told us what we wanted to hear.

Too much blind faith it will blind us - though sometimes it's a blessing.

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Brits rattle tin for 'revolutionary' hydrogen-powered car

Colin Millar

@ Kaltern

"Solar power ..... is still created by fossil fuel at it's source"

They got fossils on the sun?

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Colin Millar

Re: Distribution network problems

It only comes "for free" because of the very low use of these things. If battery cars ever get to a real market share that distribution network (and generating capacity) is going to need some serious money being spent on it. Ditto for hydrogen production which would have to be localised - again requiring serious reinforcement of the network.

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Jokes of no more than 2 lines

Colin Millar

How do you know the CIA wasn't behind the Kennedy assasination?

Because he's dead

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Calm down, dear: Woman claims sexism in tech journalism

Colin Millar

@Purple-Stater

Yeah - that Jonathan Swift - what did he know?

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Eight hour cleansing to get all the 'faggots' and 'bitches' OUT of Github

Colin Millar
Coat

Re: Equal or !=

Or as Gunny Hartman so eloquently put it

"You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless."

Bitches and faggots the best GitHub can do? - they don't make abuse like they used to.

I'll get my (Full Metal) jacket

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Blighty goes retro with 12-sided pound coin

Colin Millar
Holmes

Re: ... x.99 rounding

This was originally introduced as an anti theft procedure when electronic tills were introduced- it gave the customer a reason to hang around and see the sale registered cos they were waiting for their change.

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BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

Colin Millar
Joke

Re: The Arapaho Strike Back !

Easy-peasy - "anonymous coward" - which literally means "man with no soul, no balls and no sense of humour" the arapaho have a very highly developed sense of humour and tended to assume that all other humans did as well. It's one of the reasons they didn't do so well against the feds - they kept waiting for the punchline. This is also why joke icons are mandatory on all forums which might appear in the USA. The lack of a joke icon on a comment can lead to your country being invaded.

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Colin Millar
Thumb Up

Re: I've got

You can never have too many knives pliers, his father had told him. Unless they're pointed thrown at you, and by people who don't like you much.

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Brawling neighbours challenge 'quiet' cul-de-sac myth

Colin Millar
Pirate

Cul-de-sacs - Dangerous places

You can have a full scale anarchist war kick off in a cul-de-sac.

The Hounsditch muders and the anarchists battling with police called the Battle of Stepney kicked off and took place largely in the cul-de-sac behind Sidney Street called Exchange Buildings. Sidney Street got the credit because of the alliterative possibilities for the hacks of the day.

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San Francisco says yes to GIANT Apple flagship store, public plaza

Colin Millar

Apple invents the public plaza

They are going to create a "public plaza" in Union Square?

Really - cos thats what Union Square has always needed eh - a public plaza - shame no-one thought of that before - putting a public plaza in Union Square I mean - seems obvious now but I suppose that's what geniusi do - make people wonder why no-one thought of that already

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It's BANKS v TELCOs: Mobe payments systems go head-to-head

Colin Millar
Boffin

Er - gaping hole?

If this is to be used to confirm identity a unique identifier tied strongly to the individual might be useful.

Mobe numbers fail on both of those criteria.

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MUM's WordPress recipe blog USED AS ZOMBIE in DDoS attacks

Colin Millar
Flame

Responsible - moi!!

This is what happens when no-one is held responsible for creating bits of crap that they push out as fast as they can with no QC.

I hope the affected party sues the arse off Wordpress.

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The browser's resized future in a fragmented www world

Colin Millar
Boffin

Re: Er what?

No - right end of the stick. This is just another of those tech writer apocalyptic stories where they take a couple of out of context statistics (the raw quantity of data connections from mobile devices is about as meaningless a figure as you get) and predict the end of something (although this guy hedged his bets right at the end there) while giving an inaccurate pocket history of something familiar to build in a flavour of historical inevitability (which still sells quite well - the marxist fantasy seems to have a longer shelf life than its obit writers give it credit for).

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Dashboard Siri! Take me to the airport! NO, NOT the RUNWAY! Argh!

Colin Millar
Stop

Standards? from car makers?

I see you waiting a long time for your hope to materialise.

There may be some convergence as you get more and more low end stuff simply being rebadges but this is the industry that respecs a spark plug at the drop of a hat.

Still - at least red always means stop. Well apart from when it means don't stop.

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Pony up: Botnet succesfully targets Bitcoin

Colin Millar
Coat

Anyone want to buy

This bridge in Brooklyn?

As the man said

"There's one born every minute, you just happened to come along at the right time"

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Some first-wave big data projects 'written down' says Deloitte

Colin Millar

Oldest reason in the book

Its not the tech.

They fail because the businesses didn't know what they wanted them to do. Most businesses have money making bits that work cos people want to buy what they do. Better data mining is, at best, marginal in terms of customer relations and practically useless at developing new markets (hint - its the big demographic that you're not currently selling to).

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EU hunts down online cross-border lawbook bureaucra-snaggles

Colin Millar
Big Brother

Oh noes - not an in depth review!!!!

The EU sets up yet another money sucking black hole of bureaucracy, decades long lawyer fest considered and weighty investigation into a vital and pressing matter.

Of course they could just ask Google what rules they would like and save all that time but that wouldn't keep the poor lawyers in champagne and yachts be accountable to the proletariat through the democratic organs of the state (might be getting my political horseshit a bit mixed here).

Hang on to your wallets taxpayers - this could get expensive.

Big Brother - membership open to lawyers and accountants only.

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Silk Road admins: Sorry for the hack, we're sorting out refunds

Colin Millar
Facepalm

Criminals steal money shocker

Defcon may not have any indication but if it looks like a duck it probably is.

Mr Plod: So sir - you deposited all this money at at bank of Ronnie Biggs and now it is gone? Are you a complete moron or were you just having an off-day?

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'Please don't make me spend more time with my family...'

Colin Millar

Analyst = stockbrokers fluffer

Financial consultant = my mate who wants some money

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SCRAP the TELLY TAX? Ancient BBC Time Lords mull Beeb's future

Colin Millar
Pirate

Looking out for No 1

See that Grade is doing what he does best - making sure he gets his bit.

Wait for them to utter the magic words "commissioning agency" - aka a government mechanism for shovelling the public sponds to their mates.

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Bitcoin value plunges as Mt.Gox halts withdrawals and Russia says 'nyet'

Colin Millar
Coat

Re: Bit confused here

Traditional currencies have an asset base? When did that happen?

An asset base for the dollar - very funny. Alexander Hamilton pretty much defined the asset base for the dollar as "other peoples' stuff" and US policy hasn't changed since then.

Icon - the logo of the US Treasury department - motto - "What''s yours is mine, what's mine is my own"

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Barclays Bank probes 'client data sold to rogue City traders' breach

Colin Millar

What makes you all think it was a security breach?

" Barclays Financial Planning" sounds like a legal scam so anyone who fell for it is likely to have signed anything put in front of them (including the "Yes lots of yummy spam for me" box)

Maybe Barclays just flogged the data to some third party - would have got a good rate too for suckers with a pedigree.

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NYPD dons Google tech specs: Part man. Part machine. All Glasshole

Colin Millar

Re: Haha, why not Robocop?

"setting an autonomous killing machine loose on an intended target"

You don't need fictional characters as examples - bounty hunters pretty much fit this description and they are very real.

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Apple in bid to turn MORE and MORE humans into iPhone-stroking fanbois

Colin Millar

Re: Half a job...

No fair question

It doesn't have that information in the press release - do you expect the poor hack to do, like, research and stuff?

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CCTV warning notices NOT compliant with data protection laws – ICO

Colin Millar
Pirate

Re: So the ICO...

Yep - it's the latest silver bullet phrase

"Low-hanging fruit"

AKA - always go for the soft targets, the captive market and those who can't fight back.

It's just a bit ironic that the ICO - the single most useless piece of government bureacracy since the ministry of silly walks - is now targetting other bits of the machine which actually have some degree of relevance in the real world.

And I heard a (nasal, whiney) voice in the midst of the four beasts. And I looked, and behold a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Mr Braithwaite, and forms in triplicate followed with him.

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GP surgeries MUST DO BETTER on data handling, says ICO

Colin Millar
Pirate

If you think it is bad now

Wait till all the GP surgeries are being run by G4S, SERCO and Capita

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Facebook will LOSE 80% of its users by 2017 – epidemiological study

Colin Millar
Flame

Do they not have entrance exams for Princeton?

There is no reason to believe that epidemiological models apply despite the desperate sounding crap supposed to justify it - the reference to MySpace is so poorly thought out it makes me wonder if you need to do abstract thought to get into Princeton these days - if you think about it for more than a knee-jerk second MySpace cannot be looked at as a precedent for a methodology analysing the future success or otherwise of Facebook.

"The precedent for applying epidemiological models to non-disease applications has previously been set by research focused on modeling the spread of less-tangible applications such as ideas"

That's it - something as massive as the dissemination of ideas has a superficial resemblance to some epidemiological models therefore it applies to FaceBook which is not an idea but an internet service with an actively changing relationship with its clients. Oh - and apparently when no-one is actively espousing an idea it is because they lost interest in it (after all what else could have happened to an idea) which is the equivalent of becoming immune to the idea.

If all that is not enough they then admit that its all based on a Google mashup anyway.

FaceBook may well be getting stale in a digital world moving at a tremendous pace and personally I don't think they would be any great loss. But this paper is just trolling bollocks.

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Devs write 'film my shag' sex app for Google Glass

Colin Millar
Coffee/keyboard

Oh god - I can't get rid of this image

So i am going to share it with you

Both partners wearing glass and sharing the view they are getting with each other in real time

Barf

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Apple hires medical techies, raises spectre of iStuff slurping data direct from your bloodstream

Colin Millar
Coat

Bragging about your prowess

How about a smart overcoat that measures how much it expands and how long it stays expanded eh? - and then spaffs (sorry) your performance stats in real time.

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Target hackers: Woohoo, we're rich! Um. Guys? Anyone know how to break bank encryption?

Colin Millar

Er - too much information?

Why are they sending the PIN to the merchant gateway? Neither the merchant gateway nor the card-issuer needs to know that information - just that a duly validated card has been used. Surely all the PIN needs to do is verify to the card that it can activate - even the POS terminal doesn't need to know what the PIN is.

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Coffee a memory enhancing drug, say boffins

Colin Millar

Re: More important drink in the UK - Italian coffee?

@ Michael

Italian? - no wonder you didn't like it - that bland piss is the PG tips of coffee.

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Nearly 1 in 5 of UK's Xmas gifts were bought online... not that it helped

Colin Millar

Re: Couriers. - work deliveries

My employer used to allow this till a few years ago when our security office started to resemble argos.

If you had a Land Rover R380 you would get it in easily.

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How the NSA hacks PCs, phones, routers, hard disks 'at speed of light': Spy tech catalog leaks

Colin Millar

Re: It's like reading a CDW catalog from evil mirror-world!!

Er - yes it is

Acoustics refers to the sound carrying properties of a wave.

Subsonic means below the speed of sound carrying frequencies.

A subsonic wave by definition has no acoustic properties.

Human hearing ability is not relevant to either term.

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Colin Millar

Re: It's like reading a CDW catalog from evil mirror-world!!

Subsonic acoustics is a contradiction in terms.

Apart from that - yep - assume every bit of hardware is compromised unless you beat it out of the metal yourself.

Remember - two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead and the other one wasn't told the secret.

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JAILBREAK! US smut spam king Kilbride flees minimum security prison

Colin Millar
Pirate

Re: The good news is

Rukario

You are right - he didn't allude to whether he condoned it- he came straight out and said he condoned it. Hint: try reading the title of his post again - I think it can only be taken one way.

Good news that someone might get raped eh? I suppose he has brought it on himself and after all justice is best delivered by those very people who have nothing but contempt for laws and a vicious inclination to inflict suffering and control over people weaker than themselves.

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Gay hero super-boffin Turing 'may have been murdered by MI5'

Colin Millar

Re: @ TrishaD @steve davies

In Tatchell's line of work being ridiculed by straight people is something of a given. And he isn't much of a bandwagon jumper. He is one of those who start wagons rolling in the first place.

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Nato, UN, NGOs slug it out with namespace biz bods: IMHO... STFU

Colin Millar

Its quite simple

The internet conmen's commerce association wants to protect their rights to mislead customers and the Association of Big Brothers wants to control all of your informations.

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California OLDSTER in WILD golf course SKATEBOARDING spree

Colin Millar
Happy

I love that company

They also sell an adjustable club - 34 clubs in one.

$199 or $179 each if you buy two.

You couldn't make this stuff up.

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Sky rapped over PREMATURE SEXY CONDOM ad

Colin Millar

Whatever happens

Don't let the kids know about sex things - it could lead to us having the highest teenage pregnacy rate in the whole of Europe.

Oh - we already do?

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Google Glass pics will BAFFLE admirers: Nudge nudge, WINK WINK

Colin Millar

Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

I thought the "question you have to ask" was "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?"

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HALF of all Bitcoin-investing Winklevoss twins predict $400bn market for the currency

Colin Millar
Coat

Its the new economic model

Make shit up and put big numbers on it.

Sorry - did I say new - I meant the same old con trick that's been around for at least 300 years.

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