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* Posts by Smallbrainfield

450 posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

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'CAPTAIN CYBORG': The wild-eyed prof behind 'machines have become human' claims

Smallbrainfield

Re: "he installed a chip in his arm"

It has his name and address on it. It's so the vet can tell who Warwick is when he gets lost.

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Move over Microsoft: RealNetworks has a GOOGLE problem

Smallbrainfield

Wow, RealPlayer.

I have to say I'm amazed they are still a going concern considering how horrible RealPlayer was.

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Flying Toaster screen savers return on GitHub

Smallbrainfield

Bring back Bill Posters.scr

is all I have to say on the matter.

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Scientists discover supervolcano trigger that could herald humanity's doom

Smallbrainfield

It didn't end well in Mega City One when terrorists attacked Power Tower

Be careful what you wish for, citizen.

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Sega’s Out Run: Even better than the wheel thing

Smallbrainfield

Re: The Soundtrack...

Ha ha ha, I wondered if anyone would mention this. Used to put it on in my mates car. Sadly it was a Vauxhall Chevette, not a Ferrari.

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You gotta fight for your copyright ... Beastie Boys sue toymaker over TV ad

Smallbrainfield

Considering...

they expressly said a while ago that they didn't want any of their songs used in adverts.

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Ghosts of Christmas Past: Ten tech treats from yesteryear

Smallbrainfield

FX570 was a superb calculator

Plus the hex function meant you could spell FAECEE5.

Kids today, etc.

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Cut through the winter chill with these Rupert Murdoch tweeting cards

Smallbrainfield

Ed Balls

Ed Balls

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IT MELTDOWN ruins Cyber Monday for RBS, Natwest customers

Smallbrainfield

It does make you wonder what sort of hardware our banking network is running on.

I've read some horror stories that suggest some of it is built on very very old hardware indeed.

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Staying power: The small screen spans of the eleven Doctor Whos

Smallbrainfield
Trollface

You could argue that 8 was the longest serving.

Since the time between him and 9 appearing on TV was far longer than any of the others were around.

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What a twit: Obama aide FIRED for anonymous gov-bashing tweets

Smallbrainfield

Re: Parody

"Sarah Palin is a hot-looking babe, not white trash at all!"

No. Just no.

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Vulture 2 paintjob: Kim Jong-un battles flag-waving Brits

Smallbrainfield

Magenta cock-alike for the win!

Just imagine it throbbing on the launch pad, before thrusting for the sky and finally, flopping back down to earth, it's payload spent.

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Snap-happy blogger babe posts catcalling blokes' mugshots online

Smallbrainfield

The only thing I got from this is that parts of Philadelphia

look like bits of northern industrial towns here in the UK. Even down to the terraced streets, which is weird and looks out of place somehow in the good old US of A. Like someone plonked Coronation Street in the Fresh Princes old stomping ground (pre Bel-Air, of course).

I think this project is generally a good idea, especially if it provokes debate and maybe makes someone think twice before they make an unnecessary comment to a lady.

In my day you doffed your hat to a lady and left it at that. If she was interested she dropped a 'kerchief for you to retrieve and you went from there, chaperone permitting of course.

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Beyond: Two Souls - the game that thinks it's a Hollywood blockbuster

Smallbrainfield

Whoever devised quick time events

should be made to sit on the stairs for an hour and think about what they've done.

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Assange: 'Ecuadorian embassy staff are like my family'

Smallbrainfield

I still think this would make a good sitcom.

For extra creepiness, Ricky Gervais could play Julian Assange, hanging around the office, making paper planes, playing Solitaire and perving over the secretaries.

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Boffins spot LONE PLANET roaming interstellar void

Smallbrainfield

It's Marrow.

We just need to get over there and restart the engines then the grand tour of the galaxy can begin.

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The Vulture 2: What paintjob should we put on our soaraway spaceplane?

Smallbrainfield
Coat

A big magenta cock would look great soaring through the skies.

Remember, 3 pubes per ball.

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Reg readers! You've got 100 MILLION QUID - what would you BLOW it on?

Smallbrainfield
Joke

A Solid Gold House

and a rocket car.

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Phil Collins' daughter 'will give you A VIRUS' – security bods

Smallbrainfield
Coat

I wonder if she inherited his hair?

Fortunately she doesn't seem to have inherited his looks.

Phil Collins was once described as permanently looking like he had a stocking pulled over his face.

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It's Grand Theft Auto 5 day: Any of you kids remember GTA the First?

Smallbrainfield

HEAD RADIO

The soundtrack to GTA was a thing of beauty. I used to have a copy I played in the car.

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Have you tried turning it off and on again - oh, you did: IT Crowd RETURNS

Smallbrainfield

Don't forget Matt Berry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3n9u5n_dmo

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Hey, Bill Gates! We've found 14 IT HOTSHOTS to be the next Steve Ballmer

Smallbrainfield
Joke

Re: Gabe Newell

He'll pass. The conditions of his contract stipulate delivery of Half Life 3 before the end of the century.

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Four ways the Guardian could have protected Snowden – by THE NSA

Smallbrainfield

>"Given how tiny they are" -- Given that they [MicroSD cards] are made from metal it would be extremely easy to find with one of their metal detector wands. If you hid it in your luggage it would be likely be located within 30 seconds and removed within a minute or two.

If you hid it in or near a metallic part of your luggage, how would they know? The wands are pretty general about where metal is and unless there are clear signs of tampering they're probably going to miss it?

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1953: How Quatermass switched Britons from TV royalty to TV sci-fi

Smallbrainfield

The plot of this sounds suspiciously like that of 'Lifeforce'.

I wonder if the makers watched Quatermass and thought, lets make that, only with a naked woman wandering about and vampires.

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PEAK SAMSUNG? Shares slide ahead of BEELLLIONS in profit

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Re: Stock Market

'big greasy moose dick.'

I doff my cap to you, sir.

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Tickle my balls, stroke my button and blow the fluff from my crack

Smallbrainfield

I have a 7 button mouse for gaming which is probably as many buttons as I'll ever need on a mouse.

Never really enjoyed using Apple mice though, always found them a bit uncomfortable and the one button restrictive. (Almost like they were trying to prove a point). Which is weird 'cos if you plugged in a 3 button MS mouse you could use the other buttons just like you can on a PC (or you could, it's a few years since I tried).

I believe newer Apple mice have other options like some sort of side grips to access other functions?

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Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast

Smallbrainfield
Pint

You dodged the issue of where you're from nicely there..

You can get real meat kebabs in the UK, used to go to a place in Sheffield that did amazing lamb kebabs with big chunks of lamb, mmmmmm.

Sounds like most of your English eating experiences have been post-pub. When your hangover subsides, have a look round and there are some fabulous eating places in GB.

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Smallbrainfield

Re: When I'm feeling frisky, I like to add pepperoni under the cheese for that budget pizza taste.

I don't know whether to be happy or not, why are you crying?

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Smallbrainfield
Happy

When I'm feeling frisky, I like to add pepperoni under the cheese for that budget pizza taste.

For the Hestons amongst you, before adding the cheese, spread a layer of pesto on the toast, then add the cheese and some Worcestershire sauce. Works well with a good mature cheddar or tasty Lancashire cheese (not too hard or it doesn't melt properly).

I love cheese on toast.

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All major UK ISPs prepping network-level porn 'n' violence filters

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

Re: Baby steps

I like the way you shoehorned some EDL style politics into a discussion about ISP content filtering. Clever wording - cheers.

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Internet pioneer Vint Cerf predicts the future, fears Word-DOCALYPSE

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Ha ha, this remnds me. I have

a drawing database that started life in Paradox, moved on to MS Access and currently resides in MS Excel. Twenty two years that database has been alive in one form or another. It's older than my kids.

Paris, cos her most famous work has probably been converted into dozens of different formats, ensuring her place in cinematic history.

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Shorteurs rejoice as Vine comes to Android

Smallbrainfield
Meh

Doesn't work on my phone.

When I try to capture video it just hangs then goes back to the menu scren. It isn't working at all for others, if Play store comments are anything to go by.

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Former Microsoft Windows chief: I was right to kill the Start button

Smallbrainfield
WTF?

It makes no sense to this user to upset your core...

... business with something that only really satisfies one form factor.

That form factor being the one the majority of your users are not working with.

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Is the next-gen console war already One?

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Late result.

Playstation 4 = X-Box 1

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Adobe's Creative Cloud fails at being a cloud

Smallbrainfield
Happy

Re: Not quite so...

Psssst. Sick of Adobe? Give Corel Draw a punt, you can even try it out for free for 30 days IIRC.

Mentioned it on the forums last time this brouhaha reared its head. Does what Photoshop and Illustrator does, only cheaper.

Its major advantage over the GIMP is that it is not GIMP (i.e. the UI makes some kind of sense).

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Android is a mess and needs sprucing up, admits chief

Smallbrainfield
Meh

Most people will just install or use the apps they like or are most comfortable using.

I have a load of crap added by Orange on my current cheap as chips San Diego. I ignore or disable the useless stuff (Orange Wednesdays is the only Orange app that gets any regular use) and just use the features I like. Surely most people do this?

It's a much more homogeneous experience on iPhones I'm sure, but being tied into Apple's walled garden doesn't appeal.

I still don't know anyone that has a Windows phone, apart from the ones on the adverts (Holly Willoughby and that big lad out of Gavin and Stacy). I'm sure they're fantastic.

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Boffins plan to drop €250,000 TEST-TUBE BURGER on London

Smallbrainfield
Go

Well I'll eat it if no-one else will.

A burger prepared by SCIENCE has far greater appeal than one prepared by a spotty youth.

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The Metro experiment is dead: Time to unleash Windows Phone+

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Re: Windows Phone+ is a poor name

What, like Zune?

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Smallbrainfield
Facepalm

Metro always looked useless to me as a desktop UI.

The advert showing on TV at the moment sums it up, lots of swiping and arm waving in an exciting 'Minority Report'/'CSI' style and some guff about space and birds. The result of all this faffing about?

A high score in a Star Wars themed version of Angry Birds.

The entire advert sells the product as something you can do on your phone with a flick of your finger, instead of more arm waving than Magnus Pyke* at a rave. Let's face it, unsexy office type stuff is what Windows should do best, pretty much everything else they try is dad dancingly embarrassing. Haven't tried a Windows phone, but I'll take your word for it that they're good. Holly Willoughby likes hers at any rate.

*one for our younger readers.

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First, the bad news: EA bags Star Wars games rights

Smallbrainfield
FAIL

Re: Battlefield 3/4 - Star Wars ???

FWIW BF3 hasn't been working properly for about 3 days now, constantly booting players out of the game due to EA's fucked up server system. Fucking clueless. Message says they are aware and working on the problem, shit happens.

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Adobe kills Creative Suite – all future features online only

Smallbrainfield
WTF?

Re: Corel is where old software goes to die ...

Cobblers. It's decent software, we use it in parallel with CS and it does most of the same jobs just slightly differently.

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Smallbrainfield

Re: Somebody PLEASE!!!!

Have a look at Corel Draw. It does pretty much what CS does, not all of it as well, but you don't have to pay monthly and Corel Photopaint comes bundled. It's a sight better than GIMP.

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BadNews, fandroids: MILLIONS of Google Play downloads riddled with malware

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Re: They didn't

Ah right. As you were then.

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Smallbrainfield
Meh

You have to admire the cheek of them naming their

fake advertising network BadNews.

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Who's a Siri boy, then? Apple hoards your voices for TWO years

Smallbrainfield

Re: Siri

You are Barry Kripke and I claim my five pounds.

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Hardware hacker unifies 15 retro consoles in format frenzy

Smallbrainfield
Happy

Being picky here, but he could have spent a bit longer on the case design.

It looks like a banana box. That said, it's an epic achievement indeed!

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Researcher hacks aircraft controls with Android smartphone

Smallbrainfield
Alert

Re: Pilot can regain controll

If the hacker can control what the cockpit display is showing, how does a pilot know he isn't flying in the wrong direction?

This assumes the pilot knows his aircraft has been hacked. I suppose he could navigate by the sun / stars, but if the hacker was smart he could put the heading out by a few degrees and you'd soon be way off course..

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NASA-backed fusion engine could cut Mars trip down to 30 days

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Re: I don't get it

You'd need to put the same energy in at the other end to stop. Perhaps it uses too much energy?

You would be travelling a lot faster but the window for turnaround would be far smaller. Wouldn't want to overshoot as it's a long walk home...

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Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Would it not make more sense to launch it in parts?

That way there is less risk to the whole project if one part is lost. Or is one launch less risk than three?

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Osborne slashes growth forecast by half in bleak economy statement

Smallbrainfield
Pint

Re: Beer, because at 1p off, why not?

On the positive side though, beer!

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