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* Posts by JOKM

51 posts • joined 18 Jan 2011

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Techies with Asperger's? Yes, we are a little different...

JOKM

No

Its a harsh world, you can't expect people to treat you differently. in fact the only thing you can expect and should expect of people is to treat you the same as everyone else.

So although I sympathise, and I have my own similar difficulties I can not accept the general sentiment of this article, that you are at loggerheads with the world. Mainly because the world doesn't care, the majority of people on this forum will forget what they have written and get on with their lives oblivious to its contents 5 minutes after leaving this page.

I can accept however that you have found life difficult and rather than working through those issues and accepting them you are looking for someone to blame, and you have chosen everyone that hasn't decided to treat you as special!

Disability mental or physical) should never be used as an excuse, it demeans those who manage with similar conditions who manage without requesting special favor. Sure ask for help, but don't expect others to treat you differently

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Azure inhales open source Java implementation

JOKM

Re: OpenJDK is more detailed

Oracle is in the process of handing over their code to the openJDK project, as of version 8 they are effectively the same thing, in fact openJDK points you to oracle's websites for some of the production jdks.

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Critical Java SE update due Tuesday fixes 40 flaws

JOKM
Stop

I want more security fixes more often.

Javas transition to Open Source and the decline of Sun and the eventual purchase by Oracle, meant that Java was pretty much left to rot for 5 years. However over the past couple of years Oracle have been ramping up production of new features and security fixes, this is only a good thing. I suspect the security issues will eventually become less of an issue.

Although to be fair most of the security holes are due to piss poor sys admins who have no idea how to secure their networks from the outside world, than oracles fault at releasing too many patches. Of course the excessive moaning on the Reg forums would make most believe otherwise.

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Apple's new 'Assembled in USA' iMac a bear to upgrade, repair

JOKM
WTF?

Complete Tosh!!!!.. WTF??

I watched the video, there is no door at the back that I can see, in that video, or in any pictures I can see on apples website.

Being you have to buy new tape after install, remove a hard disk, fan, power supply, several fragile cables and the logic board just to get to the ram, I can somewhat understand people being a bit miffed.

I am more miffed about how cheap the components seem to be getting and at how high their price point is climbing. Next year I expect to find a dead hamster welded into the cpu slot.

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IBM begs Britain's new top cops: C'mon, set up pre-crime units

JOKM
Thumb Down

IBM ingratiating themselves with those that have money not those that know.

I presume the software is not very good if they are having to approach people that so far up the food chain that they would have no experience in its day to day running. If there is something I have learnt as a developer, push back when the directors decide on a technology without consulting the people that use it, and run a mile if that technology is made by IBM. I still shudder to this day when someone mentions they use websphere.

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Coders grill Herb Sutter on future of C++ at Microsoft

JOKM
Thumb Down

Re: "We are very happy with reference counting"

Points and laughs.

So glad I don't suffer from those 'where are my keys, wallet, bollocks' style bugs anymore.

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The Register's iPhone app gets a makeover

JOKM
Thumb Down

Really?

How many icon libraries did you pick your icons from? did anyone actually sit down and come up with a consistant a ui/design?

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Samsung posts record profits as Galaxy sales crush Apple

JOKM
Mushroom

Re: Nice

The reason you got downvotes is not because what you said wasn't true, but because the typical register readers are aging sys admins and other such 'non-developers masquerading as computer geeks'.

A tool is a tool is a tool, but it is nice not having to spend a fortune in money or time getting all your apps on your next device. That goes for computers as well as phones.

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APPLE: SCREW YOU, BRITS, everyone else says Samsung copied us

JOKM
Joke

Re: What did they invent?

I think the have invented a general form of blatant corporate legal disobedience, can anyone remember the sosumi notification sound which was basically a finger in the vertical direction for apple records.

I also seem to recall they invented a spinning beach ball to represent the passing of time, presumably because life's a beach.

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Samsung says 'yes' to iPhone 5-sized Galaxy S III

JOKM
FAIL

Re: Apple lawsuit in...

Worse than that, since even silence can be copywrited (yes I know different process, but same argument), I can imagine some clever lawyer will patent screen sizes that are not 4", then we are all in trouble.

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Thank Freeview for UK 4G by mid-2013 - NOT the iPhone 5 nor EE

JOKM
Angel

Re: "You need a new calculator mate..."

The correct maths is then £35.74 a year or just under £3 a month. However you would expect the telecoms to make their money back over a period of less than 12 years, so assuming it was over a 5 year period thats £15 a month.

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From Dr No to Skyfall: The Reg's one month of Bond

JOKM
WTF?

Great

An article whose entire content boils down to 'we are going to write some articles'

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US court lifts ban on Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1

JOKM
FAIL

Bored

Bored of these large multinationals tearing the patent system apart.

Bored of them wasting tax payers money on taking disputes to the court.

Bored of them telling consumers what they can and cannot buy.

Bored of them acting like spoilt children.

Anyone else thinking of just not buying any of their goods until they learn to get along.

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RIP Psion PLC: You're with Motorola now

JOKM
Holmes

Re: Psion was kinda dead anyway

My Psion 3A still works despite being dragged on a hiking trip 15 years ago and getting dunked in goats piss in the process, none of my apple machines managed to live that long and the worse they had to suffer was obsoleteness.

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Graun Aid: Don't They Know It's Christmas 2.0?

JOKM
Megaphone

Re: Charge the commentards

I think that is the current case,

Currently only the rich can, get bank accounts with a decent level of interest, get a bank manager, park in the city centre and afford the parking meters/tickets, goto the cinema/theatre/opera/restaurant, get on a train, eat and stay warm, buy property, get equal to or above interest rate pay rises, get a bonus.

If the poor had a voice anyone actually tried to listen too and act on, then perhaps that wouldn't be the case.

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New iPod nano and touch: Lightning strikes again

JOKM
Paris Hilton

Re: It's obviously coral

From left to right,

Goth, Paris Hilton, Windows Azure, Fanboi, Avacado Bathroom, Dehydrated Urine, Lady bits

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Here we go again: Critical flaw found in just-patched Java

JOKM
FAIL

Re: 2 birds with one stone

You obviously don't know what your talking about and that stement makes no sense, its the JVM not the language that is the issue, and then again only the bit used by applets. You might as well throw the same criticism at the dozen or so other languages that run on it. Additionally, it may only be oracles implementation of the JVM and not IBM's or Googles, or the many other open source implementations.

you might as well blame all windows virus's on C# or apple virus's on objective-C

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MoD to become even more top-heavy as a result of personnel cuts

JOKM
Mushroom

Not surprising

The rule basically goes, if you had a choice of losing your job or choosing somone else losing their job, the majority would choose someone else. I am sure everyone can think of someone they know who just isn't quite up to scratch and as valuable/worthy as they are.

So if you leave it up to the leadership of a group of people to reduce the size of said group. Then those who can't choose are more likely to go than those that do.

This is all irritatingly contrary to the fact that the leaders need the workers to get anything done, and increasing the number of people calling the shots over those doing the work reduces productivity.

This happens in every industry known to man, I think they need a different approach to the choice, and as its the military can I suggest they all get given a pistol where 1 in 5 has a real bullet and send them all out on maneuvers.

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Work for the military? Don't be evil, says ethicist

JOKM
Holmes

Fast Forward

Instead of spending a fortune R&Ding drones we should fast forward the tech untill we have the 2 countries/combatants sitting on a sofa playing Street Fighter II, where every loss means the other gets a 5 mile tract of land shaved off your border, and 10'000 civilians executed. Well maybe not that last bit.

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White hat warns against iPhone SMS spoofing bug

JOKM
Paris Hilton

Re: *Yawn*

I regularly put my enemies addresses on the backs of my envelopes.

Totally agree, I in fact have, legally and ethically, changed both sms and email headers.

Most dangerous ones are service indication messages, which can trick users into installing all sorts of nasty things on their mobile devices, and pretend its a network pushed update.

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Oracle won't pull plug on Java SE 6 until 2013

JOKM
FAIL

Re: Switching to Java 6 to Java 7 has nothing to do with language

Really? 50K for migrating from 5 to 6?, either you have some very rich consultants, or really slow developers? There is not that much of a difference between 5 and 6 and being 5 compiled jars run fine in 6 I can't see where your money went.

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Scribe's mobe, MacBook pwned after hacker 'fast-talked Apple support'

JOKM
Stop

I think the fault lies with the person who hacked the accounts and wiped it.

Its a bit like saying someones house was burgled was their fault because they used a 3 lever lock and not a 5 lever lock. You might as well blame him for using the internet without a degree in cyber security.

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JOKM
Facepalm

Re: Don't Apple do backups?

A bit more difficult to turn it off these days being you can't remove the batteries and they wake up on lan and silently update whilst asleep.

Remote wipe on the iphone doesn't actually wipe the data, it merely throws away the keys used by the hardware encryption.

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Oracle scales back plans for Java 8

JOKM
Meh

Re: "no really earth-shattering, ground-breaking kinds of features."

Actually the write once run anywhere holds to a certain degree, java 6 has been arround for so long that most machines have it installed and since most libraries are Java5 compatible the extent of reusable binaries is massive.

In fact that is java's main strength; the number of third party Open Source API out there have given developers a significant ability to reduce the time taken to write code and thus costs. Its also strongly typed which is a massive aid to the IDE's in alerting the developer to issues early, has an easy to manipulate garbage collector and the JVM provides hooks for full runtime monitoring and management.

Memory footprint is not that much bigger than C++ once you get past the initlal 60mb I would say you probably arn't detaching your objects properly, i.e. a memory leak. As for the CPU modern JVM's are much faster, and for intensive operations you can always use native functions, and for common libraries you are likely to find someone has already created a bridge. For instance most java game engines talk directly to OpenGL/AL/CL via native calls.

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Microsoft so sorry for limp wedding tackle gag gaffe

JOKM
WTF?

Well I loved it

For all the wrong reasons. I just cracked up for 3 minutes.

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Hated Visual Studio 11 beta in HIGH-ENERGY colour blast

JOKM
Devil

As fickle is fashion

Graphical design these days has less to do with the user and more to do with the trends and bullsh*t associated with the fashion industry, much like when you hear the words 'neon pink is the new black'. in the end it all comes back to the beginning which is why my money is on green text on black backgrounds.

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Hunt tosses 27 cities into broadband cash bunfight

JOKM
Holmes

Re: Citys

Because for some reason places with cathedrals and/or royal approval need faster internet and definitely not because less proposals means less work. Or at least my uncynical and childish mind thought, until that is, I read the proposal and came across this:

3.4. Q. Why have you chosen the Chartered Cities?

A. In the UK the legal definition of a city is one with a Royal Charter. The criterion sets the number of cities eligible to bid to a manageable number, limiting the number of cities who will work to put together a proposal but fail to be allocated funding.

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Quantum cruncher beats today's computers by 1080

JOKM
FAIL

Its Deep Thought all over again.

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Compulsory coding in schools: The new Nerd Tourism

JOKM
Mushroom

Let the Flame wars begin.

Rory Cellan-Jones the BBC Technology correspondent went and dissed him right back.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-17811925

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FBI track alleged Anon from unsanitised busty babe pic

JOKM
FAIL

Security Fail

SQL Injection its not exactly the hardest of attacks to prevent, even php provides methods to prevent it, I think the blame lies as much with the original developers as with the hacker.

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550,000-strong army of Mac zombies spreads across world

JOKM
Stop

Anti Virus

It looks like just having antivirus apps installed means the app self deletes, presumably to hide how far its impregnated. I had AV on my mac for 3 years now and glad of it, anyone who doesn't install antivirus apps on their machines and im including linux guys on this is doing the equivalent of having unprotected sex with as many different people as possible, and not bothering with an STD test the day after.

Also now apple have relinquished control of how java is ported to their machines and it is the responsibility of the open jdk project hopefully security hole fixes will be quicker.

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Apple drops 'thermonuclear' patent bombshell

JOKM

So Square

THe scary thing is, how close to the truth this is. Patent law was meant to protect the individual inventor and instead its used as a stick to beat him with.

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Speedy 3D printer creates 285µm Formula-1 speedster

JOKM

Volume

Is that a speed to print a 5m line or a 5m cubed volume?

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Scientists weave battery into clothing

JOKM
FAIL

Security Forces

Its more likely going to be used to power torture implements such as 'shock gloves' or in bdsm with electro nipple tassels, although come to think of it they are somewhat usable in both arenas.

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Dumb salesmen are hurting us – Nokia CEO

JOKM
FAIL

No Surprise

Nokia will eventually fail, their technology R&D plan has always seemed to be management driven and never user driven. Which is fine in a feature scarce world, but the number of unusable phones models they have produced in the years because these underpowered devices were expected to do much, must be in the tens if not hundreds.

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O2 apologizes for 'unintended' number-leak cockup

JOKM

all of them

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HUD's up! Ubuntu creates menu-free GUI

JOKM
Facepalm

Why???

In short someone has decided that the problem with the modern gui is the graphics bit.

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Not so fast: Italian boffins say neutrinos not faster than light

JOKM
WTF?

Hang on

They just say that they are not seeing would they would expect something going faster than the speed of light would do.

However since no one is quite sure why they are going faster than the speed of light, the symptoms you get are by their very nature are unexpected. So its less refuting the evidence and more sticking their heads in the ground.

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This weekend: First ever iPADS IN SPAAAACE

JOKM
Facepalm

Orientation

Doesn't the ipad use the accelerometers to determine screen orientation by measuring the umm.... force of gravity.

Good thing the astronauts have been trained by being spun round and round very fast, otherwise space porn is going to get messy, and not in a good way.

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Put down the Java manual

JOKM
FAIL

Only Failed Programmers Gamble

If you are any good you can be productive with a new language within a week, and count as an expert within 3 months. So why choose 1 new language and hope someone wants you, when you could learn all the currently popular, syntacticaly inbred languages, with little effort.

The only thing to fear is that someone creates a language someone with an mba might be able to fathom, then the world is in serious trouble and i'm out of a job.

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Oracle: Java 8 will be revolution, not evolution

JOKM
WTF?

Getting ahead of itself.

I found it a little weird that the Java 7 JVM provides the support for dynamic invocations but no way to use it until Java 8, without resorting to another language that is.

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JOKM
Thumb Up

REP: Horay

Its basically Joda time with new package names, its a significant improvement on the very broken and inefficient java.util.Date/Calandar

http://threeten.sourceforge.net/

http://joda-time.sourceforge.net/

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Just how will Apple restrict device-ID snooping in iOS 5?

JOKM
FAIL

Enterprise Deployment

Its going to make adhering to the apple license for enterprise deployment difficult if you can't work out which devices are accessing your corporations appstore.

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Peaches Geldof explains Kubrick's 2001

JOKM
Paris Hilton

Idiotologist

What exactly are you expecting from someone who believes in Tom Cruise.

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Apple delivers Orange aid

JOKM
Holmes

Kidnapped Developer in Orange Server room.

If you click the remind me on Thursday a little alert box appears with nothing more than the word 'help'

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Beware of Macs in enterprise, security consultants say

JOKM
Trollface

YAWWWN

MAC VS PC is sooo nineties. And the occasional 'I run my stuff on linux' squeak is almost as tired.

Its about time people actually engaged each other productively and took all their 'great' ideas and created an OS that works.

....

Oh you can't, because your all sys admins and couldn't write a kernel if your sorry little lives depended on it.

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Hadron Collider 'could act as telephone for talking to the past'

JOKM
Joke

OK

Torus Colon sir?

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