* Posts by jake

8061 posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

F-35s failed 'scramble test' because of buggy software

jake
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Pint

Re: @asdf (was: Dumbasses.)

I'm not against you, asdf, just wondering where you are coming from.

Beer?

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jake
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@asdf (was: Re: Dumbasses.)

"The key question is get what done which is also the answer in this case."

Is English your second language asdf? Please find a translator, I'm intrigued, you might actually have a serious point there!

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jake
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Dumbasses.

Manglement can't write code. This is a fact.

They should get out of the way, and allow folks with clues about writing code to actually get it done.

EOF

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Mass Mailing Software - Recommendations?

jake
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Re: Mass Mailing Software - Recommendations?

I've been using Sendmail for this kind of thing for roughly a third of a century.

It just plain works. See sendmail.org for more.

There is, however, a ::coff::bit::coff:: of a learning curve ... but once you've learned it, you'll never look back.

Yes, it runs on *nix, but it plays nicely with Redmond & Cupertino networks.

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Old, complex code could cause another UK banking TITSUP – study

jake
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"Lev Lesokhin, CAST's senior vice president of strategy and analytics, said: "In consumer banks, there are core components been there for a long time. Even if something has been written in Java in 90s that is still 20 years ago."

Earth to Lev Lesokhin, Java was never secure. Ever. Really. And never used in truly secure systems.

Thankfully, the core systems in the world's banking systems are Fortran & COBOL, neither of which the skiddies are capable of breaking into.

Well, to be truthful, COBOL & Fortran aren't exactly secure as a stand-alone product, but the skiddies have absolutely zero clue as to how they work ...

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What's Zuck planning with his Facebook bots? Maximum $ilo revenue

jake
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Whatever.

I aggressively block the zuck-Dork just as I do the goo-tards. Neither of them are a positive return on investment ... unless you like noise and minutia.

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I am Craig Wright, inventor of Craig Wright

jake
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Bloody hell ...

Someone's on something I can't afford. Nor would I use it if I could.

Hopefully the inmates aren't in charge of the encryption asylum ... although, seeking reality, it would seem that they are. And manglement are allowing it through sheer incompetence.

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Microsoft wants devs to take notes on their families

jake
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In my circle ...

... We've been using "Post-Its"[tm] since about 1980. Place one on a door (cupboard, closet, oven, fridge, garage, front, back, barn, whathaveyou), and all HumansWithAClue know what we need in that venue. Seems to work quite nicely. No computers required. Or wanted, for this particular non-problem.

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WAKE UP, candy ass

jake
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If I wanted a cartoon to wake me up ...

... I'd pick "Clo", the long-term cowvertisement from Clover Milk.

Trust me ... That advertising company is outstanding in it's field ;-)

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Auto erotic: Self-driving cars will let occupants bonk on the go

jake
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That's nothing ...

... I've personally seen several couples (m/f, m/m and f/f (not certain about trans, for obvious reasons)) doing the "serious sexual stimulation" thing on motorcycles. As long as they don't hurt/kill anybody else, more power to them ;-)

"In a bygone era, Australian auto-makers marketed a curiously parochial configuration called the “panel van”, colloquially the “shaggin' wagon”, as the ideal of transport and bed."

That's the Ford Econoline/Transit (depending on jurisdiction). AKA "the fuck van". Mostly bought in a minimal configuration, then fitted with floor to ceiling shag[0] carpet & futon by the purchaser.

[0] Note: The term "shag", when it comes to carpet, has nothing to do with sex.[1]

[1]Thankfully. Ever shake out a shag carpet? Them crumbs are a hazard to private parts!

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Linux greybeards release beta of systemd-free Debian fork

jake
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@Sloppy Crapmonster

"Of the 90 Debian servers I'm responsible for, I've replaced systemd on zero of them. It's just not an issue. I'm not saying it's not an issue for *anyone*, but I personally have no problem with it. And it makes my laptop start up and shut down *really fucking fast*."

Uh ... your 90 Debian servers need to be restarted regularly, so you need "really fucking fast" restart times? Methinks you need to actually understand the underlying system ...

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jake
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As a long-term (just under 23 years) Slackware user ...

... I am evaluating Devuan out of curiosity. So far, it looks like a good option :-)

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If you work on Seagate's performance drives, time to find another job

jake
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@Steven Jones (was:Re: A death and decline so easily forseen...)

"HDDs were simply never going to get remotely near SSD latency figures, and reduced latency is possibly the key performance issue in virtually every area of IT, whether it's processors, memory, storage or communications."

When I was at Stanford, early one Saturday morning a Grad student drove to Berkeley on his motorcycle & came back with tapes of the over-night build of 3BSD. Our Professor, visiting from DARPA for a couple weeks/months (a dude by the name of Cerf, you may have heard of him), wondered how the hell our VAX had the latest version of BSD already running (10AM-ish), when the Switched56 connected source code system hadn't completed the download of the source, much less started to compile it.

Biker's answer: "My motorcycle's latency might be sub-par, but it still has a much higher bandwidth capability than your network!". Cerf's reply? "Nice hack!" (Note that a variation of this quote is often attributed to Tanenbaum in 1996, but it was a fairly common meme around 1980.)

Just something to think about ;-)

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Score one for the patent trolls: US appeals court says it's OK to shop for patent-friendly judges

jake
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So much for the concept of "Blind Justice".

Somewhere, Justitia and Prudentia are spinning ...

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Daft draft anti-car-hack law could put innocent drivers away for life

jake
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I've been re-programing my vehicles for decades ...

I've been hacking car and motorcycle systems (analog and digital) for over 40 years, from cam timing, lift & duration to carb jetting and exhaust tuning to reprogramming EEPROMs for better performance (the sports cars) or economy (the tow rigs).

All are street legal, passed applicable smog rules, and properly insured.

Mike Kowall (R-White Lake) and Ken Horn (R-Frankenmuth) can kiss my pasty white butt.

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Japan's Hitomi space 'scope bricked, declared lost after software bug

jake
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I am not a superstitious man ...

... however, I've noticed that renaming any boat/ship always leads to disaster. Probably because the renaming leads to a mission profile that is contrary to the build/launch profile.

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Pro-ISIS hacking groups are still hooking up

jake
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Whatever.

I'm quivering in my boots.

Not.

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Zuck's $16m security bill

jake
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So basically, the dork ...

... is more paranoid than I thought he was?

Maybe, just maybe, being the boss of a massive, multibillion dollar, international, individually targeted, advertizing company kinda makes you look over your shoulder on a fairly regular basis.

You reap what you sow. Enjoy your legacy, Dork.

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Slack login leak shame

jake
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The sad thing is ...

... those of us who have been using Slack for about 23 years are just shaking our heads at the the silliness of this fly-by-night product.

Kids these days.

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There's more to life than Windows

jake
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Re: "Post proof, or retract."

"It's jake. He doesn't do retractions."

Yes, actually, I do.

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/post/search/?q=jake+%2B%22mea+culpa%22

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jake
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Re: "Post proof, or retract."

"What is your proof it isn't secure?"

Constantly B0rken Redmond based systems? Don't you read the news?

"And with what more secure technology would you replace it?"

DYOFDW.

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jake
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Re: It's late. I'm up with a whelping Greyhound. I shouldn't post ... but ...

"If you took that bet, you'd probably lose as all he says is the "chances are" - not that you "are." This means your experience of a different environment isnt enough to falsify his statement."

I took the bet. He was wrong. Ergo ...

::fades to black::

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jake
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It's late. I'm up with a whelping Greyhound. I shouldn't post ... but ...

"When you run a corporate IT infrastructure, the chances are you run Active Directory underpinning a predominantly Windows-based array of servers, desktops and laptops."

I'll fade that bet ... Not a snowball's chance in hell, in fact.

"And that's fine: it probably serves 90 per cent of the kit you have"

Nope.

"and is a secure"

Post proof, or retract.

"easy-to-use way of authenticating user logins."

Easy is secure? Since when?

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Neo4j CEO: We're at 'a huge inflection point for graph databases'

jake
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Re: "Inflection"?

My point is that "inflection" can go in either direction ... or orthogonally.

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jake
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"Inflection"?

That word ... I don't think it means what you think it means.

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The Internet of Things edges toward a practical reality

jake
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@AndyS (was Re: "There are countless problems" ... Indeed.)

Nice AdHom.

Sad that you don't know the difference between code & software.

BSD code runs on all kinds of hardware without further editing.

When it is running, it's software.

It's not pedantry, it's reality. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Or leave it.

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jake
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"There are countless problems" ... Indeed.

"There are countless problems with making the so-called "internet of things" (IoT) a pragmatic reality: hardware, software and standards to name the big three."

You can't count to three? Allow me to help:

[0] Security

[1] Hardware

[2] Code (Software is merely the current state of the hardware).

[3] Standards

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America edges closer to get-a-proper-warrant-to-read-my-email law

jake
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Pardon me while I nuke my snarky comment to the spam ...

Mea culpa.

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GCC 6.1 hits, uses C++14

jake
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During the meanwhile ...

... GCC still compiles K&R C quite nicely.

It's kind of a mandatory thing for kernel developers ;-)

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El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse spared chickpea ordeal

jake
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@ cornz 1 (was: Re: Roadkill)

"You would never torture a critter but will happily let whippets tear a rabbit to pieces??"

No. The dawgs snap their furry little necks, and that's it. No muss, no fuss.

"What sort of fucked up rationalisation is that???"

It's called "The Law Of The Wild". Food doesn't originate in the back rooms at Safeway/Tesco.

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jake
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Re: Roadkill

"Rats are NOT good to eat!"

Worse than seagulls, almost as bad as possum, squirrels are almost tastier.

All will keep you alive in a pinch.

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jake
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Re: Roadkill

I do harvest roadkill, occasionally.

I would never torture a critter with more than one shot, much less 20,000 ...

We had rabbit stew a few days ago ... the Whippets had a good hunt.

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jake
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During the meanwhile ...

... we've been trying to keep it under a quid (2 bucks) a day per person for over a decade here on the ranch (8 adults). And I'm in California's Sonoma County, land of the entirely too wealthy.

Sometimes, it just makes sense to act locally ...

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Anonymous whales on Denmark, Iceland with OpKillingBay DDoS

jake
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Re: Dolphins and Whales

"Smoked? How do you roll up a badger fag?"

If you don't understand food preservation, you are in the wrong thread.

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jake
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"Can't say I've ever eaten badger, but if it tastes as bad as dolphin and whale do"

Haven't tasted dolphin. Whale is actually pretty good eats.

"much tougher and unpleasantly salty with it."

Actually, whale is quite tender, and not salty at all (unless the cook is an idiot).

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Google discovers you assume clouds just work

jake
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For values of "you" ...

... that include the CluelessGreatUnwashed. Those of us with half a clue aren't going to buy into the nonsense. Sorry, google.

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F-35's dodgy software in the spotlight again

jake
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How could ElReg POSSIBLY ...

... insult the ageless Tiger Moth? That's just rude!

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Microsoft to hike certification exam prices

jake
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Ah, yes. MS certs.

Guaranteed trip to the shredder.

I hire folks who know how shit works, not folks who can pass a cert course.

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Hackers so far ahead of defenders it's not even a game

jake
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"Cybercriminals are way ahead of the game against defenders"

Part of the problem is manglement thinking "cyber" means "something terrifying".

"without having to try anything new"

Part of the problem is manglement refusing to pay for anything newer than 1980.

"according to the latest edition of Verizon's benchmark survey of security breaches."

Ah, yes. Verizon. That benchmark of secure providers.

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Amazon attempts rule fudge to take exclusive control of new dot-words

jake
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Re: Bass-ackward.

I don'tneed ".jake". I don't want ."jake". I see no reason for .jake ... but then I'm not exactly narcissistic.

server.domain.TLD makes sense. It's a hierarchy thing. Wanting your own .TLD is a complete waste of money when you already have a domain name.

Think about it.

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jake
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Bass-ackward.

I already own jake.TLD[0] ... As a direct result, I own buy.jake.TLD, joy.jake.TLD, coupon.jake.TLD, got.jake.TLD, room.jake.TLD, talk.jake.TLD, pin.jake.TLD, smile.jake.TLD, read.jake.TLD, like.jake.TLD, call.jake.TLD, book.jake.TLD, author.jake.TLD, and others.jake.TLD ... I don't actually have any of those setup at the moment, but I might do "others" just for my own amusement.

One wonders if the children running Amazon (etc., insert multi-billion dollar internet advertising organization of your choice in place of Amazon here) don't actually understand how TehIntraWebTubes work, and ICANN are suckering them out of their money.

[0] Several.TLDs, in fact ... In the old days, the only one I didn't have was .mil ;-)

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Security: Are you throwing good money after bad?

jake
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"How to make sure your money keeps you out of our headlines?"

Simple. All you have to do is realize that security is a meatware issue. Stop spending money on hardware & code, and start spending your money on cognizant humans. One good coder at ~USD200,000/year beats a ~USD15,000,000 room full of servers every day of the week.

"Matthews is a former Director of Cyberspace Operations for the US Air Force"

When interviewing for said "one good coder", if the candidate mentions the word "cyber", stand up,shake their hand & tell them you will get back to them. Then send their c.v/resume to the bit-bucket shredder.

"and says organisations currently spend about 70 per cent of their security cash on blocking threats. He'd rather you spend money on figuring out how to handle breaches."

I'd rather spend money on hiring coders to run secure systems, instead of fixing 'em after they break. It's worked quite nicely for me for well over a third of a century ...

But what do I know? I'm not a .gov bureaucracy.

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Planning to throw capacity at an IT problem? Read this first

jake
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Throwing capacity at the problem ...

... only leads to code bloat.

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Technology quiz reveals that nobody including quiz drafters knows anything about IT

jake
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@AC (Was: Re: USA! USA!)

C'mon, AC. You are letting down the side. That was a year and a half ago.

Seriously, rest-of-the-world, not all of us Yanks are fucking idiots.

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SAP HANA enterprise cloud might even turn a profit in 2017

jake
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Out of curiosity ...

Can anyone point me at any REAL company that is using HANA?

::crickets::

That's what I thought.

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Clinton's $1m troll fight

jake
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It always amuses me ...

... when articles like this bring out the vitriol spewing idiots. Hint, kiddies, if your drool is dribbling down your chin, you probably shouldn't post. Just saying.

THAT said, "A new task force called Barrier Breakers claims it will "help Clinton supporters push back on online harassment and thank super delegates."

It's just online text. It doesn't matter. It's not important. It never has been, it never will be. Anybody who thinks otherwise is either a fucking idiot, or a marketard targeting fucking idiots.

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Flexi-Plexistor's software-defined memory roadmap

jake
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I'm fairly certain that ...

... my small cluster of vaxen (late 1970s to early 1980s vintage) contain MMUs that already perform this in hardware ... as do my small collection of early Sun kit. And it's a hell of a lot faster than any software variation.

Kids these days brought up on "personal computers" have no actual clue about computing.

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Will Comcast's set-box killer murder your data caps? The truth revealed

jake
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But it's Comcastic!

(For those not in the know, "comcastic" is a very disparaging insult.)

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Ad-blocker blocking websites face legal peril at hands of privacy bods

jake
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Ads online?

They still exist? Who knew!

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