* Posts by theBatman

36 posts • joined 1 Jan 2011

Apple was OK to fire man for private Facebook comments

theBatman

I've always thought that maybe...

Regardless of privacy settings:

1. I should only have my real friends on Facebook

2. I shouldn't share anything that is private

3. I shouldn't say anything if there are people wouldn't want to say it to.

That way, not only will I never land myself in trouble but I'll also manage to keep a nice chunk of my life for myself.

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Inside WD's flooded Thai factory

theBatman
Coat

Wetstern Doggypaddle?

Sorry, sorry, sorry...

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Zimbabwean claims prostitute turned into donkey

theBatman
Coat

Not Guilty

Doh!

I plead guilty to the lesser charge of not having read the article properly and shall take my leave... Where's my coat...?

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theBatman
Coat

Maybe that's what they mean by a...

... hot piece of ass?

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Binned PCs were stuffed with MoD and Sun staffers' privates

theBatman

Mind how you go...

A colleague thought it would be a good idea to drill holes through broken hard drives, much to our amusement as the hard disk he had "secured" to his desk slipped out of the clutches of his g-clamp as he was drilling into it. As the hole was off centre it span quite uncontrollably towards his crown jewels while he, in a panic, was unable to switch off the drill. At this point, I pulled out the plug, saving his future offspring. There was much pointing and laughing. We went back to using the lump hammer.

Incidentally, laptop drives are very fragile. You only have to bend them slightly and the entire platter will shatter like glass...

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Quote of the Week: 'I shave my balls for this?'

theBatman
Trollface

Westbro Baptist

Trolls. Standard procedure - don't feed them.

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Furious HP staff stage protest over job cuts

theBatman
Happy

Good for a laugh...

"If you're HP and you know it, wash your hands..."

Had me in stitches, thanks!

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Gibson revisits Firebird range with robotic refresh

theBatman

Will fancy new gimmicks help me play better?

I'll stick to my good old fashioned Strat I think... and there are plenty of old fashioned gimmicks on my pedalboard ;)

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Lady Gaga loses squatting complaint

theBatman

I don't like my fans...

... I think I'll sue the crap out of them.

Seriously, if someone admires you enough to put up a website about you it should be taken as a compliment!

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BT Tower becomes giant lightsabre tonight

theBatman

Well...

I suppose it's more original than a painting a willy onto it.

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PC World throws in free Bravia telly with Sony fondleslabs

theBatman
Pint

Currys favour?

I read that as "curry flavour"...

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Powermat crafts wireless Duracell Bunny boiler

theBatman

At least with wireless charging...

There's no opportunity for ham-fisted menaces to snap, mash and mangle connectors and cables... some of which are a complete PITA to replace, especially considering the frequency with which they seem to get broken!

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Twitter contests ad company's 'tweets' trademark

theBatman
Headmaster

Alternatively...

Maybe "twat" should just be the past tense of "tweet"...

Speak - Spoke

Write - Wrote

Tweet - Twat

Makes sense to me, anyway.

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Guardian pratfall swaps homepage for US insurance firm

theBatman

Also...

Has anyone else noticed grauniad.co.uk redirects the The Guardian website but .com doesn't? They own both...

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Hacker defaces Irish Catholic paper: 'Gotta love false hope'

theBatman

False Religion?!

I don't believe it! ;)

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Laptop batteries made of jelly invented

theBatman
Thumb Up

Sounds good...

We can start making novelty batteries using jelly moulds :)

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9/11: The day we lost our privacy and power

theBatman

The Global War On Terror...

... is something that makes me feel thoroughly ashamed of my country. It's more evil than terrorism itself... our cowardly politicians need to admit that it's bullshit and put a stop to it.

That was a great article, thankyou.

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Hey Commentards! [This title is optional]

theBatman

I just went to a separate page to upvote your comment....

Because I agree, it's a bit annoying :D

Oh. I did a title, that was unnecessary!

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theBatman
Headmaster

Bodies?

Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

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Three in ten Americans urge feds to read their email

theBatman
Trollface

Use the FUD to get the power...

34% of Americans believe that every time you say "I don't believe in terrorism" an American soldier dies... Unless you clap your hands of course.

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Yahoo! fires! CEO! Carol! Bartz!

theBatman
Headmaster

Did you mean "due"?

"the shortfall was do in part to poor returns"

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Painters wrap Forth Bridge job after 121 years

theBatman

Like driving to the end of the M25?

Seriously, I think the register should host a competition!

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US Marines not allowed to fart in Afghanistan

theBatman
Coat

.stigid ro/dna srettel niatnoc tsum dna ,deriuqer si eltit ehT

What a load of guff!

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Seven Dwarfs password gag declared Fringe's best

theBatman
Thumb Up

.stigid ro/dna srettel niatnoc tsum dna ,deriuqer si eltit ehT

Thankyou for the amusing proverb, it provided much laughter.

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Britain's iconic red phonebox turns 75

theBatman

Scatted?!

"With 11,000 K6 models still scatted throughout the country..."

Was that a mistake? Please say it was!

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Four months' porridge for 20-minute Facebook riot page

theBatman
WTF?

Bad Joke?

It's a person's real intent that I'm interested in, not what they've said on Facebook. It might be fair to argue that he had no intention of actually starting a riot and having made his joke thought better of it and took it down. Which was sensible. So now they're handing out prison sentences for bad jokes?

If his words had consequences (like, an actual riot) I'd understand the sentence. It's way too easy to lose your freedom around here.

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Google lands patent for, um, estimating shipment time

theBatman
Stop

I, I, Me, Me, Mine!

That's just not what patents are for. Grrrr.

These big corporations are like snotty little kids fighting over their toys. The progress of humanity is at stake here!

So the next time I want to know how long a parcel's going to take to get to me someone has to pay a Google tax?

Why don't they just patent eating or something?!

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Kabam! Facebook gamers fume after script deletes fake stuff

theBatman
Facepalm

"separate but related"

"a 'separate but related' problem involving a backup system affected additional players"

I wonder if that means they weren't *using* their backup system? :D

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DOH! Housing contractor loses unencrypted stick down the pub

theBatman

Was it...

Stewart Lee?

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Björk Biophilia

theBatman
Thumb Up

My thoughts...

Exactly. Loved it. In fact, I thought the pun was better than the article!

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Copyright Kitemark plan flutters aloft

theBatman

Onan magnet...

LOL!

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Go Daddy no-no means No Daddy is no-go

theBatman

My favourite registrar...

Has a simple motto: "No Bullshit". You can't argue with that.

I've never used GoDaddy because I find their website too irritating. I know what I want, I don't need them to suggest that I want other stuff too. Or to find when I go to register a domain that the advertised price is not actually the price I have to pay...

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Press body looks at its naughty bits as hacking scandal grinds on

theBatman
FAIL

No, I don't think that's going to help.

"It said changes were required to improve the public's confidence in how the press is governed."

It doesn't matter how the press is governed, we now know (or rather, have proof, we always knew) the lengths that some journalists will go to for a story. A "code of practice" won't make any difference if they're already prepared to break the law.

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ANONYMOUS: Behind the mask, inside the Hivemind

theBatman
Thumb Up

Good read...

That was a very interesting read, thanks!

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Amazon swallows UK online bookseller

theBatman
Coat

Finding it hard to swallow...

They're certainly Ruth-less. So at least one of them must be a "Nancy".

Oh there's a lot of puns to be had here.

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US woman sues again over XP 'downgrade', seeks class action

theBatman

Forward Planning

This irks me no end, because it's just a lack of forward planning on her part. If she wanted XP on her computer she should have looked to see which versions she was allowed to downgrade from before buying a computer, like the rest of us do. I've had this from relatives who've bought home basic to try out and decided it wasn't good enough despite my advising them not to!

To me her case sounds ludicrous.

"I bought this jar of marmalade only to discover it was orange flavoured, and I wanted it to taste like chocolate. Now I'm being told that if I want it to be chocolate flavoured I have to buy this stuff called chocolate spread in a completely new jar when I've already paid for this one that I don't want. Why can't they put it in the one I've got? It's an outrage!"

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