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* Posts by O RLY

127 posts • joined 15 Dec 2010

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YES YES YES! Apple patents mousy, pressure-sensing iVibrator

O RLY

iBrator - the parody of iMac commercials from 1999

Probably not safe for work. I think there are a few more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXHc69KW598

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpZZ4y_Du1U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_XqF6GtLB0

And a parody of the 1984 Mac ad:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfwJrUMkVTo

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Snowden is FREE to ESCAPE FROM RUSSIA, say officials

O RLY

Re: True justice would involve two pieces of paper

Yes, I do think that had Obama closed Gitmo, ended renditions, drone strikes, and warrantless wiretapping, and fulfilled a few other campaign promises, "Boehner and his mad associates wouldn't have stopped the entire business of the US government in their quest for impeachment" because they would still be the minority party in the US House. Obama had a decisive electoral win in 2008 and the Democrats controlled both houses of Congress for his first two years in office. Meaningful accomplishments would have likely kept control of the House in 2010. Alas, there were none, just continuations of the worst excesses of Bush and the shattering of the illusion of 2008 Obama.

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Tesla and Panasonic to build NOT-SO-SECRET GigaFactory in US

O RLY

Re: Where?

There are several states wooing the Tesla plant. The leading contender is rumoured to be Texas.

Tesla cannot currently sell their cars through showrooms in Texas due to laws about auto dealerships and a change in law is part of the negotiations. In spite of that limitation, Texas has been the second-largest market for Teslas in the US.

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Cybercrooks breed SELF-CLONING MUTANT that STEALS your BANK DETAILS

O RLY

Re: German Marks

No joke icon, so I'll answer as if you meant it straight.

The word "marks" there mean targets or victims, not the former currency used by the Germans.

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Feds crack down harder on 'lasing'. Yep, aircraft laser zapping... Really

O RLY

Re: Even with the priors...

You're citing a federal statutory penalty for rape of a minor. The vast majority of rape cases are prosecuted under state/commonwealth law which varies across the 50 states. To pick two states, Texas's rape of minors can be punished between prison sentences of 2 years - 20 years and Colorado's sentencing guidelines typically run 2 years - life sentences depending on the circumstances of the crime.

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The enemy of my enemy is my, well, temporary ally: Apple and Microsoft in pact against Google

O RLY

Re: Noboby uses Bing for a good reason

They're excluding nothing. All they've done is change the default search engine, something which punters can easily remedy under Safari's settings.

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Target finally implements chip and PIN card protections

O RLY

AMEX is chip and sign, not chip and PIN

There are very few chip and PIN cards in the US.

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Google looks to LTE and Wi-Fi to help it lube YouTube tubes

O RLY

Re: No Video on LTE, Please

I have an "uncapped" LTE contract and find I don't use web browsing except when I have no other choice due to disruptive ads. If it isn't a video ad, it's an ad with a tiny close button, or the one that opens iOS App Store or GooglePlay to entice me to download some piece-of-shit freemium game. Android has few options for ad-blocking (although I find ABP drains the battery) and iOS has only one I'm aware of without a jailbreak. If I had to pay per $DATAUNIT, invasive ads would bother me more than they already do, but there is no way I'd want a legislative body to ban the ads. I'd rather see users simply stop using the sites with obtrusive ads.

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ODMs a 'threat' to Euro server biz? Well, yes, says HP exec

O RLY

ODM irony

The fact is that many of the major brands, including Dell, use ODMs to build their kit. That some of the punters such as Facebook have cut out the middle man (HP, Dell, etc) and headed straight to the source is amusing.

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That NSA denial in full: As of right now, we're not pretending to be Facebook or Twitter

O RLY

Re: What does "impersonation" mean?

When Clapper uses the phrase "least untruthful" to describe his testimony under oath, it destroys all credibility in what his agency releases. Lying under oath is a felony for normal people; in fact, the 42nd President of the United States was impeached for it. The press releases merely illustrate the mendacity of the agency and the contempt the NSA shows to their putative overseers and the people whom they purport to protect.

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Vine's 'educational nudity': 'So if I write 1+1=2 on my boobs we're grand?'

O RLY

Re: World Peace

Or Ukraine...

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Police pen shortage threatens Irish public order

O RLY
Headmaster

Re: not moving

It appears Muphry's Law caught that you were being pedantic about use of homonyms while using less when you should have used fewer.

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Microsoft to push out penultimate XP patch on March Patch Tuesday

O RLY

Re: Critical Internet Explorer vulnerability ..

Notepad could be uninstalled easily from XP. Internet Explorer, on the other hand...

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Bitcoin or bust: MtGox files for bankruptcy protection

O RLY
Joke

But did you get into Doge (coin) instead?

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MtGox accepted new customers JUST DAYS before collapse

O RLY

Re: Doomed

Indeed. Name changes for reputation reasons happen all the time. Blackwater Security are now Xi, PhillipMorris are something vaguely Latin-sounding (I can't be arsed to look it up), and RBS are contemplating trading under Williams and Glyn's for at least part of their business to name just three.

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Apple's Windows XP moment: OS X Snow Leopard left to DIE

O RLY

As someone who left his MB Air on Snow Leopard because of the poorly documented "feature" of Mavericks whereby iOS devices cannot sync their contacts or bookmarks directly to a computer but must instead use iCloud, I'm disappointed about the drop of support. This adds to the desire to move away from iOS in search of something better.

That said, comparisons to XP aren't exactly correct. The differences between the first release of XP (of which I still have a legitimate early release disk) and SP2 are substantial, so it's really a 9.5 year old OS vs a 4.5 year old OS. Oh, that's not really a favorable comparison either, is it?

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Facebook gobbles WhatsApp for SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS

O RLY

No, you're not. I agree. The $16 billion price is higher, by 15%, than the market cap of NetApp. That company reported respectable, not inspiring, profits on flat revenues recently. Revenues that are a full order of magnitude larger than those of WhatsApp.

Though I suppose if I understood what value things or ideas actually have, I'd be making something to sell for ludicrous sums of money instead of making comments in disbelief on the internet.

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Google promises 10Gps fiber network to blast 4K into living rooms

O RLY

Re: Carp

I wonder what the ratio of users who use free Google Fiber at 5Mbps is to those who use the $70/month 1Gbps service. That may have something to do with the Netflix results, but I'm entirely speculating.

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Mandela memorial. Yup, let's SNAP A SELFIE, say grinning Obama, Cameron

O RLY

Re: Amazing how many leaders...

Technically speaking, it was Congress who had to remove the ANC from the banned list. Since Mr Mandela's inauguration, Mr Mandela and his government were granted waivers by the Secretaries of State under President Clinton and President GW Bush for visits to the United States. Mr Bush signed the law rescinding the ANC's PNG status in 2008. Embarrassingly late for the USA.

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Rogue trader gets 2½ years for BILLION-dollar Apple share plot

O RLY

Go big or go home

If you're going to steal, steal as much as possible. The penalties are less that way.

http://www.democracynow.org/2013/11/15/jailed_for_life_for_stealing_a

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Apple iMac 27-inch 2013: An extra hundred quid for what exactly?

O RLY

Re: Ethernet

Completely agreed. Going from a laptop with built-in 1GbE (last pre-Retina MBP for example)to having to use a USB port adapter that only supports 10/100BASE T is truly irritating. The 20 quid is salt in the wound.

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BILLION DOLLAR BALLMER: Microsoft chief makes $1bn simply by quitting

O RLY

Re: Dumb Luck

Harvard, not Stanford

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Dell crams baby small-biz data center into a tower chassis

O RLY

Re: How realistic is the pricing though

Dell won't provide technical support for 3rd party drives you add, but they don't prohibit non-Dell drives anymore.

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HP knew Autonomy was a duff buy, claim HP shareholders in $1bn suit

O RLY

Re: No Shit Sherlock

Google/Instagram? Facebook/Instagram you mean? Or did you mean Google/YouTube?

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Want to know what CIA spooks really think of spy movies and books?

O RLY

At least one Jane Austen fan in the CIA

Granted, Jane didn't write about espionage, but "Elizabeth Darcy" as a nom de plume gets a smile.

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Feds want to fine companies that refuse wiretap requests

O RLY

Re: Paranoia

Who is being paranoid, exactly?

And just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you.

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How much will Google pay to bring fiber to Provo, Utah? Try $1

O RLY

Re: Wow, screw Google

Huh? Unless you can prove that Google manipulated the bond process years ago to set this purchase up now, or that they acted illicitly to secure the deal now, it's hard to see what's unfair about the business buying a money-losing project. The public should be concerned about how the project got funded in the first place and whether the city's forecasts for breaking even or making money had any basis in reality. They should avail themselves of the opportunity to make sure Provo did its due diligence in the sale as well.

Regarding private companies making profit off of the public teat, you might be appalled to learn how basically every professional athletic team in the US builds a stadium. They claim that they can't be "competitive" with their inferior facilities and extort taxpayer funds under threat of relocation. The NFL, a tax-exempt organization, made ~$1 Billion in profit in 2012 while playing every game in stadiums at least partially financed by the taxpayers.

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'You can keep it' - Brit's nicked laptop turns up on Iranians' sofa

O RLY

Re: err..

American technology companies doing business outside of the USA cannot undermine US government embargoes; they cannot knowingly sell to entities or individuals who intend to use it in embargoed states, or resell or export to those who will. That is a case of American law applying outside America, albeit to an American company. Apple, Dell, Citrix, etc., can suffer sanction from the US government (http://www.bis.doc.gov/complianceandenforcement/dont_let_this_happen_to_you_2005.pdf ).

UK companies don't have to follow the US laws and certainly the Iranians don't either, but the American ones do.

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P2P badboys The Pirate Bay kicked out of Greenland: Took under 48 hours

O RLY

Re: Tiny?

Central America isn't a continent. North America's southern demarcation is the Panama-Columbia border.

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Life after Cisco: I've got 99 problems but a switch ain't one

O RLY

Re: A stupid question regarding SFP+ modules...

Cisco switches, at least those that I've used, were particular about the SFP/SFP+ modules.

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Microsoft burgled, only the APPLE iPADS stolen - cops confirm

O RLY

Why are there quotations marks around iPad 4

and not iPad 3 as well? Neither the third or fourth iPads were designated "iPad 3" or "iPad 4", so why single one out?

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Samsung spaffs $3.9bn on chip factory in TEXAS

O RLY
Trollface

Re: Samsung... I see what you did there.

Really long since Samsung has had a manufacturing facility in Austin since 1996, back when Apple were making Newtons and nearly out of business. You'd think that if Samsung were prescient enough to prepare a patent fight over phones then, they would have just patented rounded corners then :)

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Anonymous hacks Westboro Baptists over Sandy Hook protests

O RLY

Re: Puzzled

The churches or other venues themselves are private and the WBC cunts don't enter. However, the streets outside the churches or cemeteries are public and the US Supreme Court ruled they have the right to spew their bile from those streets.

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Tor node admin raided by cops appeals for help with legal bills

O RLY
Headmaster

Re: Tax Law

They are "safe deposit boxes".

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Elon Musk jumps overboard from Paul Allen's GIANT MOTHERSHIP

O RLY
Pint

I wish I were super rich

Then my lofty dreams and hobbies would only limited by government-scale funding. And hopefully, like Musk, I'd be able to show potential for improving science and the world while still have obscene amounts of fun :)

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Apple ships 'completely redesigned' iTunes 11

O RLY

Of course Apple refer to this version as the "best iTunes ever". Microsoft refer to Windows 8 as the "best Windows ever", Oracle refer to 11g as the best, etc.

Has there ever been a major company release a new version and say something like "iTunes 11, the second-best iTunes ever"?

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Badges for Commentards

O RLY
Pint

four pages of comments

and most commentards have badges. Impressive.

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Bah humbug! Google cancels Christmas

O RLY

Re: Calendar.DECEMBER

Wouldn't it drop January of the current year? 1-11 being Feb-December of the current year, with 12 being Jan of next year?

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Office for Android, Apple iOS: 'REALLY REAL this time' - report

O RLY

Re: @M Gale

I got two for showing where to set up local users during first set up. I wasn't trying to be sarcastic; I thought my tone was polite.

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O RLY

It isn't the most obvious option, but it is right there on the front of the setup page.

http://www.walkernews.net/2012/08/20/how-to-setup-windows-8-to-use-local-account-and-not-microsoft-account/

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Apple rejects NAKED HIPPIE ebook, despite apple coverup

O RLY
Headmaster

Re: @ Robert Long 1

And while pubic hair may appear at puberty (hence the name pubic hair)

Pubic hair is named for the pubic bones, not its appearance during puberty.

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Forgetting Microsoft: How Steve Ballmer's Surface could win

O RLY
Headmaster

Re: Confused

It's written by someone who doesn't get upset if they're not spoon-fed 'facts', but likes think for themself and try to foresee where the future is going.

The author's name and sex are clear. There is no reason, at all, to use the emetic and appalling construct "themself" to attempt gender-neutrality. Ever.

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Facebook's stock rally may be shortlived: Small advertisers enraged

O RLY

But who will fire them? The Zuck owns more than 50% of the voting stock, so normal investors have functionally no say in the management of the company. He and his executives serve at his pleasure.

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HP detunes Violin, tunes up 3PAR

O RLY
Headmaster

I twitch when I see plurals such as "Proof of Concepts" or Attorney Generals".

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Amazon accused of remotely wiping punter's Kindle

O RLY
Big Brother

I can't help but wonder about these services and how much easier it will be to enact the dystopian futures that Bradbury, Orwell, etc. wrote about. I think of Winston Smith's job going back and "correcting" old newspapers so that the Party's predictions verified or the war was always against Eurasia. Amazing how simple that task becomes with ebooks and online subscriptions. I know I'm paranoid, but does it bother anyone else?

There is precedent for editing media, even retroactively: after the World Trade Center was destroyed, several films and TV shows removed images of the towers.

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Bloomberg's bomb: How SEC shredded Facebook's pre-IPO claims

O RLY

Re: But, at the end of the day,

Here's a great definition of prospectus, courtesy of a Machiavellian little dog :)

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1996-03-15/

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