* Posts by dorsetknob

111 posts • joined 26 May 2013

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Crowdfunded beg-a-thon to bail out Greece raises 0.003% of target

dorsetknob
Facepalm

Re: Technically

Technically HE CAN F**K off I AM NOT PAYING ANY OF MY MONEY TO BAIL OUT THE PIGS AT THE TROUGH

what a twat bet he been sniffing his customers sweaty shoe's

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WikiLeaks docs show NSA's 10-year economic espionage campaign against France

dorsetknob
Joke

And this is news ?

why the suprise ?

everyone knows france is awash with Oil

"thet dont say those oily frenchmen"for nothing

7
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SHOCK! Robot cars do CRASH. Because other cars have human drivers

dorsetknob
Facepalm

California Driving

Quote

""particularly on the chaotic California roads, where drivers seem to think stopping distances are a quaint suggestion""

California Driver stopping Distance = Distance from point of impact to eventual resting point

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So what would the economic effect of leaving the EU be?

dorsetknob
Megaphone

Re: Economist's predictions

They neglect to state what the economic effect on the rest of Europe would be following a British exit

Maybe our economic performance will still exceed that of Europe

Conveniently they ignore that after we leave they lose our financial Contribution (we pay in way more than we get out)

Who steps up to cover that shortfall

will it be Greece Ireland Spain and the other Net Takers ( The so called Pigs at the Trough)

or will they collapse as well and also leave or be kicked out

Then there is the Accession Countries that want in ( all will probably be negitive financial Contributes)

Turkey is one the Ukraine another

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Malfunctioning Russian supply podule EXPLODES above Pacific

dorsetknob

There are Homes for Sale in Royston Vasey i am sure the locals will welcome lizzy there

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Astroboffins eyeball MONSTER GAS HALO hugging Andromeda Galaxy

dorsetknob
Paris Hilton

Re: A Trillian Stars in a galaxy

if memory serves me correctly was not Zaphod Beeblebrox Shagging Trillian

its a paris moment

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Australia cracks tech giants' tax dodge code

dorsetknob

Re: The TAX Domino Theory

Re: The TAX Domino Theory

What about roamers that buy a local SIM ?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The SIM is not linked to the IME Number

Simple they link this new data base to Passport control

Phone then valid for time of visit (+ Government can track those Aliens by Phone)

overstay your visit

Phone Blocked / Bricked

Slipping into country as an illegal immigrant with phone

Database says no Valid IME phone Blocked / Bricked

Governments love linked Database's it gives them extra snoop capability

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dorsetknob

Re: The TAX Domino Theory

As Part of the Government legislation Manufacture has to make the IME Number of Legal imported Phones available to Government for it not to Be Bricked

Non Registered IME Numbers Government orders the Telco's to Block / brick as non legal

economic tourism to get Phones outside your borders will stop if they cannot use them at home because the government / teleco's Brick non legally imported phones by IME Number.

If the Phone Manufacture wants to trade in Country X Pay fair tax inc Corporate Tax in country X

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dorsetknob
Boffin

Re: The TAX Domino Theory

Governments CAN BRICK GREY IMPORT PHONES if they chose so Electronically

That would Kill the gray Market

As long as they tell there Buying public /citizens why they are bricking grey Phone imports Problem solved

If that Phone Device company wants a share of the Market PAY THE TAX'es REQUIRED

You CAN BE SURE IF GREY IMPORTS EAT INTO THE OFFICIAL MARKET THAT Phone Device company WILL LOBBY FOR GREY IMPORT BANS

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Shields up! Shields up! ASTRONAUTS flying to MARS will arrive BRAIN DAMAGED, boffins claim

dorsetknob
Alien

Re: Not really equivalent

Hello Brennan how are the pak these days

No doubt you think i'm taking the Phssthpok

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NASA spies weird glow from Pluto's FRIGID pole

dorsetknob
Paris Hilton

Re: "The US has been the first to flyby every planet of the Solar System"

A Definite case of premature ejaculating comments here

Quote

" The spacecraft is still more than 60 million miles away from the dwarf planet"

NOT GOT THERE YET

"The US has been the first to flyby every planet of the Solar System "

You got to go past it before you can claim to have a fly by

Some Fly by

John Grunsfeld Your Wife must be Pissed off if your this prematurely ejaculating comments in the Bedroom as well

Paris because Probably she has seen so much prematurely ejaculating com..............

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Facebook policy wonk growls at Europe's mass of data laws

dorsetknob
Coat

The Pink one

Facebook's Brussels lobbyist Richard Allan took to the pages of the Pink 'Un

Now would that be the Financial Times or the Other Pink Paper

You Know the one that's a cottaging industry newspaper

Yes its a Dirty Mac for ME

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Apple Watch HATES tattoos: Inky pink sinks rinky-dink sensor

dorsetknob
Joke

Re: Perhaps there is already a solution

Scosche got a US Patent on that and would not license it to Apple

so Apple is going to go with

Your Holding it wrong its not a problem

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So how should we tax these BASTARD COMPANIES, then?

dorsetknob
Big Brother

Re: Fair Tax?

In George Orwell's Animal Farm "" There was "NO TAX ON BACON"

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Apple Watch: Exactly how many vids does it take to teach a fanboi to tell the time?

dorsetknob
Megaphone

Re: There are probably loads of good reasons for owning one these.

Hows this for a Reason

I Own a Iwatch i'm a masochist MUG ME HARD

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Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC

dorsetknob
Gimp

Re Replacment

Dear Michael Dell

Here is a Sales lead for your Sales Team

No Commission Required

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Spotty dwarf Ceres BARES ALL in NASA's SHINY CLOSEUPS

dorsetknob
Alien

Re: Flying squid

Ceres Home worldlet of

kudos and kang

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

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Yay, we're all European (Irish) now on Twitter (except Americans)

dorsetknob
Facepalm

Re: You're damned either way

"" News Just in ""

The USA has just declared Disney world a Sovereign State within the USA

For Diplomatic Reasons all Disney worlds World wide are now US Sovereign territory

US LAW now Applies in Disney world

Passports Control and Visa restrictions Apply

Mickey Mouse Green Cards are available for Current Non US Citizens who work there

Disney Dollars are now Legal Tender at 1 to 1 parity

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High on bath salts, alleged Norse god attempts tree love

dorsetknob
Coat

In a thread Littered with Norse mythological references

there is no reference to TROLLS (shit i Mentioned them )

I'll get my coat its at the back of the Cave

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Apple will cut down 36,000 acres of forest in 'conservation scheme'

dorsetknob
FAIL

How Green is my Apple

If cr APPLE was Truly interested in Being Green and a Eco Company then WHY DO THEY NOT 100% recycled packaging MATERIAL.

Could it be that its more Expensive and CUTS INTO THEIR PROFIT MARGIN

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Who runs this world? Sony Pictures CEO jokes about getting UK culture minister fired

dorsetknob
Paris Hilton

Bella (donna) Pollen

"" Brit-born Lynton was sharing breakfast with Bella Pollen""

Now was that Breakfast in Bed ?

Paris because she like's to eat Breakfast in Bed

They do say that to Get on in politics you have to get into bed with politicians ( or their wives )

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Want to go green like Apple, but don't have billions in the bank?

dorsetknob
Black Helicopters

Apple = Green

Green Apples are only going to give you Gut rot

Apple Green Don't TAKE THE PISS

when Apples new Equipment is not made to be repaired and is designed to be very expensive land fill in 5 to 10 years yeh that's Green Eco Policy at work

Fan boys man the black copters Target in sight

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Segway bought by former patent spat adversary Ninebot

dorsetknob
Devil

why invent ?

It's hard to see why people invent this stuff, when more useful devices are already mass-produced in China.

They """ Invent it and patent it in the USA """

So that they can go to East Texas and Sue every one else

Prior Art and patent be Dammmed This is the USA all your Shit belongs to US............A

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Lib Dems wheel out Digital Rights Bill pledge as election sweetener

dorsetknob

Re: Oh look - the Lib Dems are making us a promise just before the election.

It don't matter if they are Labour conservative or lying democrappers

they will ALL PROMISE YOU THE EARTH before an election

AS They Say "" TRUST ME I'M A LYING BULLSHITTING POLITICAN ""

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Rand Paul puts Hillary Clinton's hard drive on sale

dorsetknob
Paris Hilton

dont worry the NSA are Tapeing them DAT is the problem

Paris because she like to tape thing (Maybe Hilly does as well)

Hang on here's a film script idea

Hillery Does Washington Staring Paris

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Microsoft's top legal eagle: US cannot ignore foreign privacy laws

dorsetknob

Re: What an insult

Microsuck is Caught between a Federal Prison warder and Bubba the gay convict

either way they are going to take it up the corporate Ass

If the Feds win they stand to lose all overseas sales and Business ($MONEY$)

No one in the sane rest of the world will want ANY Microsuck product because there will be NO Information security ever again.

That document on your windows pc Created with American Software "Now the precedent has been set " ( is or will be ) Subject to American law and Control After all it was created with American Software

If they "microsuck" win then still the rest of the world will still wonder if they can be trusted (Back Door Deals)

either way Sales of KY Jelly are soaring in Redmond because they know bubba and the feds are Queuing up and at the Back of the queue is the EURO DYKES with their razor studded Dido's

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ISIS: You bomb us, we’ll interrupt your TV transmissions

dorsetknob
Paris Hilton

Not a great loss to the viewing public Its a french TV station

Paris cos i'd Sooner watch her Broadcasts

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Microsoft, Getty settle image snatch 'suit

dorsetknob
Paris Hilton

Golden lensman

Lensman Frankie went to Hollywood and made Golden Lensman of those below him

Paris because she is a fan of ...............

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Astronomers battle plague of BLADE-WIELDING ROBOTS

dorsetknob
Pint

Re: Cable

Good old Petrol mower attached to a chain and staked in the middle of the lawn

It goes Round and round on its own

got to be a V8 engine mower for that tough USA grasswhat with all those hidden illegal Mexican illegals

Beer because ya got time if its mowing by its'self

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Microsoft drops Do Not Track default from Internet Explorer

dorsetknob
Black Helicopters

Re: It's a common misunderstanding...

"" If the customer (since that's what we are nowadays) ""

Let me Correct your error

"" If the Product (since that's what we are nowadays) .

Next thing you know

when you log on your be issued a Parcel force / UPS tracking number

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Dot-com intimidation forces Indiana to undo hated anti-gay law

dorsetknob
Paris Hilton

Worshipers of the sky fairy will tell you Its a Sin to Spill / Waste the SEED of Man

Roll on 2000 yrs and that translates to " No Masturbation"

Paris because she knows what to do with it

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Project Spartan: We get our claws on Microsoft's browser for Windows 10

dorsetknob
Coat

Grace can dance on my table anytime she wants or she can dance on my pole

that's me taking off my coat ready for grace

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dorsetknob
Black Helicopters

Quote

""Third is Cortana integration, sadly absent for UK users. Cortana is Microsoft’s digital assistant, controllable via speech or text input, whose secret sauce is the ability to customise information based on data gathered about your interests.""

Microsoft the Company that likes to spy on you

A fully Featured NSA Browser

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Belgium to the rescue as UK consumers freeze after BST blunder

dorsetknob
Facepalm

Re: Time is an illusion

Quote

"And when Scotland comes independent, we'll have CET, The Euro, border controls and driving on the right. Right ?"

yes and they ( The Spastic Moron Party ) will Ban right hand Drive Cars (they are so English) so your have to scrap your Car (for Sod All) and Buy a Left hand Drive Car ( AS WE ENGLISH SAY A KACK HANDED CAR)

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'Why don't you buy from foreign sites?' asks Commish, snapping on the gloves

dorsetknob
Facepalm

Re: Amazon

I think your find Amazon already charge Vat at the rate in the country of purchase ie 20% in the UK (as Shown on my last invoice) and then pay Vat in sucksomburg at the lower rate of 15% and i bet they pocket the difference

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German court slaps down Uber's ride-sharing app

dorsetknob
Facepalm

Crystal Ball Gazing

Just Wait till that Transatlantic trade treaty is rammed down our gullets

Uber to German government

"" Under the terms of Transatlantic trade treaty legislation Your law stops us from conducting our business in the way we (Americans ) want. so we are going to Sue You for $3 billion as compensation Oh and you got to change your laws to suit us""

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Mattel urged to scrap Wi-Fi mic Barbie after Register investigation

dorsetknob
Trollface

Latest News Update

Mattell just announced in its latest press release that it was withdrawing its Hello Barbie doll, which sends recordings of children's voices across the internet for voice-recognition analysis

It Updated its press release with the following Statement

" In Conjunction with Intel Marketing and Development Department We will be upgrading all Hello Barbie doll's

with their Latest Soc Processor and We will Re-Release this Doll under the New Brand "" Hello Gwendy ""

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Oi. APPLE fanboi! You with the $10k and pocket on fire! Fancy a WATCH?

dorsetknob
Coat

Wristing Wear

Ha I Got and wear a Calvin klein watch

Still waiting for that Super Model to turn up and ask me to (F)wrist her

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NASA prods sleeping New Horizons spacecraft: Wakey, wakey, Pluto's calling

dorsetknob
Alien

My Name is on the Data disk

Back in the day before the probe was finalized and launched Nasa invited people to submit their name and address with the idea of including a list of Earth citizens on a cd rom database (1st 500,000 entrants i believe).

I'm on the list so when our new overlord's come back here so either I'm slated for execution or i get to be a district (quisling ) Governor

Is your Name also on the List ?

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Firefox decade: Microsoft's IE humbled by a dogged upstart. Native next?

dorsetknob
Coat

Firefox Sucksess is due to PORN

Back in the Day when IE was the (only )Browser available and you wanted to browse porn sites there was the problem that you could only have one site/ page open at a time

So that Webcam site with the "interesting live Feeds" caused problems

IE would only run one window/page (no tabbed pages and only one IE program at any one time)

So in order to ""look at more than one page at a time"" you had to install "an Alternate Browser"

In the early days of the Internet there was only one alternate choice of browser and that was

NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR.

Well that ended up with IE on www.webcamporn.*#* hot horny cam 666 and Netscape on www.webcamporn.*#*judyjugs cam

You get the picture (well twice what was available to the desktop before).

Then came Firefox

Thats now 3 browsers on www.webcamporn.*#*

time to buy and run 2 monitors

we are now making progress in the browser world especially as the fox would run many separate copys of itself and later TABBED browser

Ps I'm Now Running 4 monitors and going Blind

Ah well time to go I'll get My Dirty Mac on my way out

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Windows 10's 'built-in keylogger'? Ha ha, says Microsoft – no, it just monitors your typing

dorsetknob

Wun hung lo the Chinese government computer procurer will freek out

"" what is this a NSA key logger built in to this Software

Quick tell the Party leader this and that he is to BAN Windows and Microsuck from the Glorious Middle Kingdom.

No more windows computers no Sexbox and no windows phones

We will Stop the Dirty Yanks spying on us by Banning all their software and hardware""

There goes a 7+ Billion potential market in china followed by 5 Billion in India followed by Russia and then the rest of the unfree world EU to Follow

Time To Sell those Microsuck Shares before their market share price collapse's

THIS IS A COMPANY PREPARING TO SWAN DIVE INTO HELL

SUICIDE BY SOFTWARE

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Brits STUNG for up to £625 when they try to cancel broadband

dorsetknob
Thumb Up

Re: Dodgy ISPs

Started out with BT on Dial up years ago then Broadband (with BT) saw out the inital contract and as soon as soon as local exchange was llu enabled switched to Bulldog on a rolling one month contract.

Still on the rolling one month contract (company was sold/merged and now is)

Home Telecom Ltd

Global House

60B Queen Street

Horsham

West Sussex

RH13 5AD

service is good

Band width is good for the for the Distance i am from the exchange

NO Download Capping or Bandwidth throttling

Line rental is under £10 a month ( not £16.50 + like from other isp's)

Price is on par with what other ISP's charge

at best if i changed ISP i would probably only save pence per month and have to be tied into a 12 to 18 month contract ( I like my rolling monthly contract IT SUITS MY CIRCUMSTANCES don't know if any Other British ISP that would offer a monthly contract).

I Also could upgrade my bandwidth to up to 40Mb keeping the same one month contract ( cannot afford to do so due to CIRCUMSTANCES).

So as far as i am concerned A BIG PAT ON THE BACK FOR MY ISP

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'CAPTAIN CYBORG': The wild-eyed prof behind 'machines have become human' claims

dorsetknob
Facepalm

re I have no idea what a 'reverse ferret' is

Its the action of a Male ferret has when you stuff it down your trousers

However if you use a female Ferret, ...............

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dorsetknob
Joke

My mates dog been chipped does this mean if i expose it to lots of radiation it may mutate into a woof Terminator

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Glacier's hot butt melts ice, boffins say

dorsetknob
Mushroom

Another well funded Research paper that states the ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

And of Course the Green Eco Warriors will seize upon this to say

" Look Irrefutable proof the earth is getting warmer and Antarctica is Melting"

Its been known for years that the Antarctic has ACTIVE Volcano's some under the ice and some poking thru

one Called " Mount Erebus " has been observed to be continuously active since 1972 and its a sulpher dioxide emitter (estimates of Millions of tons of this greenhouse gas are pumped into the atmosphere each year),

It does not take a Apple genius to realize that if ice is heated it melts and if there is enough heat even Antarctic sub zero ice becomes water eventually and uncovers more land

and whats the problem earth is going to need this new real estate to expand into to compensate for the sea level rise to house more population and to grow more food

Icon well a volcano seems right

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Ballmer SLAM-DUNKS $2 BEEELLLION bid for LA Clippers

dorsetknob
Joke

New Team Strip

" As soon as sale goes through there will be a change of team strip"

Out with the current shirts

New shirts are Microsoft Blue with white writing ( error code 0x80070643 )

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For your next privacy panic, look no further than vending machines

dorsetknob
Coat

"Next phase of development will be!"

Wait to they link in a NFC device reader

When sales are down and

you stand near the machine or just wander near and out pops a can of cococrud

Hum free vended cococrud so you pick it up and walk away

3 weeks later you find it charged to your CC

recorded video has you taking your cococrud so you get stuck paying for the can you took thinking it was free

Tough luck consumer

don't forget to wrap your wallet in tinfoil

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dorsetknob
Mushroom

"" a hammer and nail ""

So Luddite

so easily nicked for criminal damage by PC PLOD

Better to use your laser pointer to burn out the ccd in the camera from a distance

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Microsoft frisked blogger's Hotmail inbox, IM chat to hunt Windows 8 leaker, court told

dorsetknob
WTF?

Unreleased versions of Windows Live Messenger ""bring it on""

Quote

"Confidential data allegedly uploaded by Kibkalo to his personal Windows Live SkyDrive account between July and August 2012 included pre-release software updates of Windows 8 RT and ARM devices, Microsoft's Activation Server Software Development Kit (SDK), and unreleased versions of Windows Live Messenger, according to Microsoft's subsequent investigation."

unquote

Perhaps Microsuck might release this unreleased versions of unreleased versions of Windows Live MessengerMessenger to either work in tandem or replace skype

because Skype is total crap

I cannot use skype on my pc as it says my password is incorrect (please reset)

yet same password works fine on android phone.

the messenger software was very good and i used it all the time now its skype only i don't bother to use it anymore

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Candy Crush King plans IPO valuing it at $7.6 BEEELLION

dorsetknob
Joke

Yeh i'll suscribe to this IPO

Henceforth shares in this company will be known as Candycoins

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