Feeds

* Posts by Trainee grumpy old ****

112 posts • joined 18 Nov 2010

Page:

All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing

Trainee grumpy old ****
Boffin

Calculations seem a bit off.

If 80 people are carried every day then over 365 days that is 80*365 = 29,200 passengers per year.

Over this time the bus is fuelled by 500 people that means each person shitting propels 29,200/500 = 58.4 passengers.

Even if the bus only carries a quarter of its capacity (20*365 = 7,300) that's still 7,300 / 500 = 14.6 passengers per shitter.

A bit more efficient than 4 shitters per passenger!

2
0

Blackpool hotel 'fines' couple £100 for crap TripAdvisor review

Trainee grumpy old ****
WTF?

Re: Tripadvisor.

>> Tripadvisor should flag up hotels with policies like this really clearly,

And how are Tripadvisor going to know that they have such a policy?

0
0

NOKIA - Not FINNished yet! BEHOLD the somewhat DULL MYSTERY DEVICE!

Trainee grumpy old ****

I would love to see

an Android phone with a camera like the one on the 1020. I'll just keep hoping that it happens sometime.

0
0

Mastercard and Visa to ERADICATE password authentication

Trainee grumpy old ****
Trollface

Re: So how secure are 'biometrics'?

>> particularly unusable since it prevents me from using a password manager by asking for random characters from my password.

Get a better password manager? One that lets you select specific characters / substrings from your password.

0
0

'Scope boffins get INSIDE URANUS after snapping mystery spots

Trainee grumpy old ****
Trollface

You missed one!

Am I the only one who, on reading the title, expected the word "Goatse" to appear in the article?

1
0

Virgin Media CUTS OFF weekend 'net surfers after embarrassing smut-filtering snafu

Trainee grumpy old ****
Childcatcher

Re: So, (from down here in the antipodes)

It means the major ISPs have agreed(*) to provide an option to filter "unsuitable" content (because - see icon). Some weeks I ago I had checked my own account settings I was very surprised to see that the default setting there was opt-out.

As one would expect the definition of "unsuitable" is suitably vague (at least whatever definitions I've seen have left me with more questions than answers).

I must admit that Virgin is my ISP. In my defence may I point out that my router's DNS settings point elsewhere and I appear to have been completely missed by this outage, reading about it on El Reg is the first I've known about it.

(*) for "agreed" read - "bullied by the, pure as driven snow, tabloid press".

2
0

#VultureTRENDING: It's Pimpr, the latest sharing economy super app

Trainee grumpy old ****
Thumb Up

Warming up for April?

Roll on 01/04 (or 04/01 for the left-pondians)

0
0

Ex-NSA lawyer warns Google, Apple: IMPENETRABLE RIM ruined BlackBerry

Trainee grumpy old ****

Re: Toe the line...

One I've seen a bit too often recently - "full proof" (as in "I want this UI to be full proof").

0
0

COMET 67P is basically TRAILING a HORRIFIC STENCH through space

Trainee grumpy old ****
Joke

Lapse in El-Reg editing standards?

But scientists are intrigued by the mix of stuff coming off the comet.

Wot no boffins?

2
0

Apple 'Genius': iPhone 6? We've had NO COMPLAINTS about our BENDY iThing

Trainee grumpy old ****

Re: So what's the actual problem?

I'll put my hand up to carrying my Galaxy Note(*) in the back pocket of my jeans(**) and occasionally sitting on it. No ill effect.

*: the original one, still going strong on Cyanogen Mod

**: Not particular skinny.

3
0

Man's future in space ... Barack Obama: Mars. Narendra Modi: Mars. Vladimir Putin: Er, Moon

Trainee grumpy old ****
Boffin

Re: How do you say, "awesome fucking moonbase" in Russian?

"удивительным чертовски луна-база", по-видимому. (Google является вашим другом)

1
0

MOM: CHEAP Mars ship got it right first time. Nice one, India

Trainee grumpy old ****
Flame

Priorities

Priorities 1: India spends roughly 45 million (in Sterling) sending a satellite to Mars and hopefully inspiring a future generation of scientists. In the mean time we will be spending upwards of 30-40 BILLION to get from London to Brum a few minutes quicker. How many kids will HS2 inspire?

Priorities 2: It costs more to get some footballers to pledge temporary allegiance to a team!

2
1

Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights

Trainee grumpy old ****
Unhappy

Re: Targeted

>> But be proud that throughout it all the British response was to ignore the cowards for what they are/were > spineless gits.

And now, possibly to return the balance to the mean, we have gone in the absolutely opposite direction. Peaceful, normal day to day activities get the "OMFG T3rr0ist!!!!!!!" treatment.

0
0

iPhone 6: Most exquisite MOBILE? No. It is the Most Exquisite THING. EVER

Trainee grumpy old ****

Re: SanFrancisco

>> and the ROMs didn't affect the warrany?

Response 1: Warranty? After 4 years? Good luck trying to get any phone manufacturer to fix anything under warranty after so long - even if the phone had been kept in pristine condition.

Response 2: The San Francisco was both relatively cheap and about as close to un-brickable as is possible that there were plenty who were able to take the risk of flashing it over and over again.

1
0

Reg bloke zips through an iPHONE 6 queue from ZERO to 60 SECONDS

Trainee grumpy old ****
Trollface

Re: very insightful observation, Ali.

>> He must be married.

If he was married (or in a relationship) he would have known the correct answer: They got their husbands / partners to queue and get it for them.

1
1

The Apple Watch and CROTCH RUBBING. How are they related?

Trainee grumpy old ****
Meh

At least on the bright side

Apple giving away an album is probably the first world problem to end all first world problems. You wouldn't know it for all wailing and gnashing though.

(Neither a U2 fan nor a fanboi)

4
0

Google swallows SMARTSPOON manufacturer Lift Labs

Trainee grumpy old ****

Spoons?

Can we expect to see Google in Private Eye's "Me & My Spoons" column soon?

0
0

Oi, you don't work here, MR ANYTHING BUT incisive – get your grubby mitts off our commentards

Trainee grumpy old ****
Pint

"Friday afternoon desk beer"

Work-life balance etc: don't take your work to the pub!

2
0

NATO nations 'will respond to a Cyber attack on one as though it were on all'

Trainee grumpy old ****
Mushroom

Cardiff?

>> a NATO summit in and around Cardiff, Wales later this week

It is in Newport. Many South Walians get a little touchy about their neck of the woods being identified as the 'diff.

0
0

CNN 'tech analyst' on NAKED CELEBS: WHO IS this mystery '4chan' PERSON?

Trainee grumpy old ****

Re: Passpattern

Works so long as you don't need to use a foreign keyboard, say, when on holiday.

0
0

Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

Trainee grumpy old ****
Mushroom

Re: Why?

Roger Waters says it best:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rekuWIKr55A

4
0

Not really very live at all from London - It's the Vulture News videocast

Trainee grumpy old ****
Trollface

Re: boss wasn't watching, with a potato

Does the presence of a potato make a difference to the boss watching or not watching?

0
0

We sent a probe SIX BILLION km to measure temperature of a COMET doing 135,000 km/h

Trainee grumpy old ****
Boffin

Re: Speed trap.

>> The fine for speeding like that would be huge!!

At ~40 kilometers per second, I suspect that most of the technology employed by your average "safety camera partnership" would struggle to detect the speeding. (Don't try this at home kids)

Edit: Corrected units

0
1

THUD! WD plonks down SIX TERABYTE 'consumer NAS' fatboy

Trainee grumpy old ****
Joke

Re: How much?

>> £199 for WD 4T ?????

It must be a VERY big can.

4
0

China's 'Deep Panda' crew targets Middle East policy wonks - report

Trainee grumpy old ****
Trollface

Pretty smart - get someone else to pay for your protetcion

"Thus, it wouldn’t be surprising if the Chinese government is highly interested in getting a better sense of the possibility of deeper U.S. military involvement that could help protect the Chinese oil infrastructure in Iraq,”

"The West" (mainly US/UK/OZ) in its role as the World's Policeman(TM) spends lives and money "bringing democracy" to various countries and dealing with eruptions of local difficulties. The Chinese come along behind and do business. Smart that.

0
0

Google BLOCKS access to Goldman client-leak email

Trainee grumpy old ****
Alert

I wonder

Will we see an upsurge in phishing emails apparently from gs.com addresses?

Mail body contains some financial jargon and signature with references to SOX etc.. No exhortations to open the attachment. I'll bet there will be a few marks who wont be able open the attachment fast enough.

0
0

BBC: Bumpkins, hobbits need fairer coverage

Trainee grumpy old ****
Unhappy

Re: I live in a town in the Cotswolds...

>> Anyway, I just want more tech shows BBC, go on, more technology please!

Unfortunately the BBC's "technology" output falls way short of the expectations of many El Reg readers.

3
0

LEAKED: Redmond not allowed to sell 'Nokia' smartphones after 2015

Trainee grumpy old ****
FAIL

No wonder Elop didn't get a look in for MS CEO

Despite having their own man in charge they still couldn't get a favourable deal to buy Nokia.

10
0

Whoops! Google's D-Day Doodle honors ... Japan

Trainee grumpy old ****
Joke

Some one has to say it

Google were following the instructions from that well known documentary.

"Don't mention the war!"

1
0

REVEALED: GCHQ's BEYOND TOP SECRET Middle Eastern INTERNET SPY BASE

Trainee grumpy old ****
Black Helicopters

Re: Britain's got secrets

>>"At what level are things really kept secret"

>That would be Strap 4, which covers codewords like CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN.

Beyond that you have to have signed paragraph 4 of the OSA.

0
0

Labour calls for BIG OVERHAUL of UK super-snoop powers in 'new digital world'

Trainee grumpy old ****

Re: Okay so this will work like the last election.

All the main-stream political parties are as bad as each other. Vote Monster Raving Loony - you know it makes sense.

5
0

UK.gov back-office battle may see British Justice offshored

Trainee grumpy old ****

Re: For sale - Great Britain PLC

Bids and offers of Directorships to the Tory Party HQ the HQ of whichever party is in power at the time.

FTFY

It has been so for some time now.

0
0

Child sex abuse image peddlers dodge UK smut filters and demand Bitcoin payments

Trainee grumpy old ****
Stop

Re: Daily Mail headlines write themselves

Is everybody going to ignore the real story of what bitcoin may have had to do with the DEATH OF DIANA?

Wrong tabloid.We're talking about the Daily Wail here. For DoD(*) you want the Sexpress.

(*): Death of D....

1
0

How a Facebook post by blabbermouth daughter cost her parents $80,000

Trainee grumpy old ****

Re: The real problem isn't that she revealed they'd got money.

> The real problem is that in the US, companies can issue gag orders like this to hush scandals down.

And here I thought the left-pondians were critical of UK judicial proceedings and super injunctions. Imitation truly is the sincerest form of flattery.

0
0

UK unis, McAfee collude to beat collusion attacks

Trainee grumpy old ****
WTF?

McAfee really?

Given that McAfee's best known product is memorable for its ability to reduce a perfectly normal PC to a crawl such that there is little to differentiate it from malware would you really want something from them on your phone?

1
1

What the world really needs: A telescopic SELFIE STICK

Trainee grumpy old ****
Boffin

Re: Camera-onna-stick

A snack that would probably only be of interest to trolls. Totally lacking in key nutrition groups (e.g. gristle) for humans and associated species.

2
0

'G-WIZ like' object doing 40,000 MPH CRASHES on the MOON

Trainee grumpy old ****
Trollface

60,000 MPH

I bet there is a "safety camera partnership" operative who wishes he was there.

1
0

Object to #YearOfCode? You're a misogynist and a snob, says the BBC

Trainee grumpy old ****

Re: How to teach maths

You've got me stumped!

How do you weigh out 10 lbs using weights which are all multiples of 7? I can get 10.5 lbs but not 10, and that too it takes 2 weighings.

Workings:

a) Weigh out 21 lbs (14+7)

b) Put the weights away and split the potatoes weighed in 'a' equally between the two pans.

0
0
Trainee grumpy old ****
Thumb Up

Re: We don't have anyone competent to do that

> no law would ever yet have been finalized by Parliament. They'd all still be in perpetual debug mode.

Given some legislation and some attempted legislation in the not so dim and distant past that possibly would be no bad thing.

0
0

SCRAP the TELLY TAX? Ancient BBC Time Lords mull Beeb's future

Trainee grumpy old ****
Thumb Down

Re: Just a News Operation

As a child growing up in a far away land, the World Service brought us news and entertainment. Today it is, for all practical purposes, "news only". I doubt we would have listened as much to it then if it had been in the format it is now.

6
0

Credit card of PayPal PRESIDENT cloned by UK crooks

Trainee grumpy old ****
Holmes

Re: ...cloned by UK crooks.

I'm sure one of our magnificent "news" papers will find that it was an illegal immigrant wot done it.

1
0

Friends don't do tech support for friends running Windows XP

Trainee grumpy old ****
WTF?

Re: I don't have any friends.

>> If you fix my Vista box I will be your friend.

> Ways to terminate a friendship.

> #234: can you fix my Windows computer?

#234? It must surely rank much higher than that.

2
0

Why IBM's server sell-off is a lightbulb moment

Trainee grumpy old ****
Thumb Down

Re: Avoid the commodity

>> 20 years ago, we had Windows 3.11 and Office 6.

20 years ago, where I worked, we used WordPerfect.

No version of MS Office in all the years since has been even half as powerful for consistently getting documents to look exactly like you want them to.

3
1

KC engineer 'exposed unencrypted spreadsheet with phone numbers, user IDs, PASSWORDS'

Trainee grumpy old ****
Boffin

Re: Breach of DPA

>> Ok, so can someone please provide an explanation of how this practice might be in breach of the Data Protection Act?

The principles of the act are listed here: http://ico.org.uk/for_organisations/data_protection/the_guide/the_principles

At the very least, principle 3 would appear to be being breached.

0
0
Trainee grumpy old ****
Big Brother

NTL/Virgin

Many moons ago I had a problem logging in to my "My NTL"/"My Virgin Media" (can't remember if it was before or after the re-branding). Anyway, the helpful person in Philippines / India was able to tell me my password - and this was one I had changed some time in the even more dim and distant past. I remember this because the password was a rather, uh, strange combination of words and the person commented on it.

0
0

Cryptocurrencies now being pooped out by cartoon cat

Trainee grumpy old ****
Alert

I hope we never ever EVER see.....

<shudder> Goatsecoin </shudder>

2
0

Reading this headline? You and 9.47 million others

Trainee grumpy old ****

Re: Smarm

One reason I regularly read the Register is for the (generally) insightful and / or amusing comments provided by many of the regular commentards.

Tldr: It's the commentards wot makes El Reg so interesting.

3
0

India's spooks prepare to peer through their own PRISM

Trainee grumpy old ****
Black Helicopters

300GB / 400GB?

Taking the population at 1.27 billion (BEELION!), 300 to 400 GB works out to just about a couple of bytes per head. Even if only 0.1% of the entire population is being monitored and data retained that's still just a few KB each. Which begs the question is the limit really 300 GB / 400 GB across everyone or is it per person?

2
0

WATCH LIVE: Comet ISON DESTROYED by Sun, NASA brains fear

Trainee grumpy old ****

Next time just let the comet turn up without any hype.

Calling every other comet the "Comet of the Century" seems to be a guaranteed kiss of death.

3
0

NASA probecraft to FLY the SKIES of MARS - IF it can make its launch window

Trainee grumpy old ****
Trollface

$671 million?

How many commentards will be questioning how a first world country with a debt mountain and a portion of citizens who cannot afford basic healthcare can justify splurging $671 million on a mission to further human knowledge of another planet.

None.

Cue the down votes.

4
0

Page: