Posts by Monkey Bob
86 posts • joined Friday 12th November 2010 15:15 GMT
Broke out the popcorn, clicked to the comments...
And not a single "squeal piggie" or porking punchline.
Shameful, commentards, absolutely shameful.
Why not use blue whales & elephant seals? All this metric crap is just far too easy. It could be like stone, pound & ounces, except with blue whales, elephant seals, & oh I don't know, some sort of penguin maybe?
Open source attack dog?
Isn't that the next Ubuntu release? Rabid Rottweiler?
The police gave chase & couldn't catch 'em...
But as soon as they rounded a corner Apple's lawyers were on to them like a shot.
B'dum, tsssssh...
World ends in two days?
Fuck I forgot, I've just renewed my monthly travel pass...
Re: "A Scottish man has been given an extra stretch inside"
I didn't, until you pointed it out, for which I thank you.
Re: Lawrence of Arabia
I remember Peter O'Toole admitting being so pissed for one scene that he tied himself to his camel, I can't help but wonder if you can tell at 4K.
Fake? Bastards!
I've just had my tailor alter my dinner jacket for a shoulder holster.
Yeah right..
One denial in the sub-head, one in the article.
I suppose Lester has a cast-iron alibi too?
<-- Safety googles
Re: The Holy Jellyfish?
May you be touched by his (kind of) noodly (albeit in a squishy over-cooked kind of way) appendage.
Dear El Reg SPB
If they beat the record will there be a PARIS 2 after LOHAN?
Re: Arial? How gauche!
As much as I hate Comic Sans I can't help but think that Papyrus would look worse.
Posted in Vote now for the ULTIMATE BACON SARNIE
Bastards
My local sarnie shop stopped doing hot sandwiches an hour ago.
Igor, throw the switch!
Can you change the battery?
Posted in Crytek says future is free-to-play
Re: Merchandising!
You forgot the cuddly toy!
*pulls string* "May da schwartz be with you"
Fantastic
I need four of these & a kick arse dogsled. My commute will never be dull again.
Re: Not suprised....
"Mind you, I've heard of people taking vintage macs to apple stores and getting service, so stranger things have happened."
It's almost worth $100k just to take it into an Apple store & try!
Posted in LOHAN to straddle meaty titanium rod
Re: Why titanium rod?
If you used a tube could you fill it with whatever is in those chemical hand-warmer thingies, just before launching, & at that altitude would it do enough/anything to stop freezing?
Ignore me if I'm talking shit, it's already beer 'o' clock round these here parts & I know nothing.
Re: Re: Patents...
There was a phone released in early 2005 which had an on-screen "slide to unlock" feature. Apple filed the patent in December 2005. Can't remember the manufacturer, some Scandinavian company (not the obvious two).
Posted in PARIS soars to Guinness World Record
When I read the headline I just knew the article would involve at least one photo of people holding beer.
Congratulations.
Bonus points for inserting a gratuitous cockwomble.
It's like watching two software patent lawyers mating.
Posted in LOHAN lifts skirt on 3D printed parts
No no no, it's like ounces, lb & stone.
16 trees of monkeys to the sack of badgers, 14 sacks of badgers per box of frogs.
Unless you're talking literally & are experimenting with a blender.
Look in DuckDuckGo's goodies page, you can just use !shopping before your search.
Posted in What's in the box, Windows sysadmin?
Man, such hostility...
Some mainly Windows BOFHs also do Linux admin & vice versa. Such people may have Linux tools that they use for Windows admin & system rescue, therefore mentioning such tools is surely quite legitimate when they've been asked what tools they use. It's each to their own, either deal with it or get a job llama farming or some shit. In fact bollocks, it's your blood pressure.
I'm a complete agnostic when it comes to OS preference, each has it's own merits. But Windows admins going all frothy at the mouth as soon as someone mentions that they use Linux tools to fix things is quite frankly a bit sad, just as sad as the reverse would be. I've picked up tips here on both MS & Linux based options, if you stop going all red mist & actually read some of the comments you may learn about something that will save you some serious time & effort at some point.
Serious, this is making iTards look positively liberal & cuddly, & a fair proportion of both Windows & Linux BOFHs who have posted look like a bunch of cockwombles.
Damn, when I read the concrete balls bit I came as close as I've ever genuinely come to replicating the icon to the left, nasally. I think it's lucky I've got a cold.
"...you will have to speak ... very... clearly."
Give me your clothes, your boots, & your motorcycle.
Clear enough? What accent?
Doesn't SRWare Iron have all these? Or close enough equivalents anyway...
No it's an emo band from Stoke on Trent.
Kill It Before... Oh SH..........
I nearly "accidentally" bought one while Xmas shopping online the other week, plus the £16 rocket launcher attachment.
Now I think about it why didn't I buy one? Damned fool.
Posted in Bloke pays inked tribute to Top Gear
That would have to be a smaller portrait shurely.
Oh I see...
Posted in Got a few minutes to help LOHAN suck?
Don't know what you can use, but if you use any name except LOVELACE for the part that sucks mightily there's no justice in the world.
Contrived acronyms are somewhat beyond me at current caffeine levels.
Posted in Reg reader ratings go worldwide
Can you tweak anti-Apple stories...
...so anyone using Safari can only vote for orgasmic?
Posted in Pakistan bans rude text messages
Profanisaurus app...
Surely it would be more entertaining to submit Profanisaurus entries to the Pakistan "Telecomminication" Authority, whoever gets the most added to the naughty list wins!
Or just call it first to 5?
Yeah but they only had it covered for third-party, fire, theft & aliens, so they're still screwed.
El Reg could always offer to reboot it while passing...
LOHAN's going to get that high, right?
PCMCIA
Is it wrong that the only definition of PCMCIA that I can remember is...
People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms
...?
Posted in UK shamed in high-speed broadband study
I'm loving the Digital Region FTTC/VDSL thing in South Yorkshire, I'm on the cheapest package, the usual advertised 24 down 2 up. On test during an evening I've got an average of 23.5 down & 1.9 up. Line rental sorted through them too so I never have to deal with BT any more.
All through a small friendly local company with no call centre, unlimited, no traffic shaping that I've noticed (though my testing only consisted of turning off all the encryption on torrent program & trying something big).
WTF
If you'd bought 10 of them & had a decent proportion fail on you then fair enough, but just getting unlucky with a single drive & whinging like a 6 year old with a skinned knee makes you sound like a bit of a tit.
My fiery icon's bigger than yours.
deep fried Mars Bars, pah!
Curly Wurly fritters ftw!
Proper chippy batter, fried as hot & fast as possible while managing to keep your eyebrows.
Posted in Chrome browser 'is becoming Number Two'
I wonder what proportion of Chrome & Firefox users have plugins that make themselves invisible to Statcounter?
Yeah, but...
...can I use it to play Guitar Hero?
Posted in Slab-fondling e-shoppers spend more
News Flash!
People who spend more money on shite tend to spend more money on shite!
