95 posts • joined 12 Nov 2010
El Reg headline writers...
I can't work out if you've just hit new heights, dug to new depths, neither, or both.
Kamikaze probe doing a spot of landscaping...
...& not a single LADEE garden joke in 12 hours. Shameful.
Re: "The damage, on a scale of 1 to 10, is a 12."
Is it too late for a "BOFH of the year" award?
Or too early?
If there's going to be some ground-based manual kill switch it has to be something suitably Bond-villian-esque, the sort of switch that would look fitting on some instrument panel in an extinct volcano-based lair.
Can it have a cover that you need a key to open?
And red, lots of red. Flashing.
Re: not a balanced diet
Uranium mill tailings you mean :) Best ingredients list ever that, & top book, thanks for the flashback.
"Water, blackstrap molasses, imported habanero peppers, salt, garlic, ginger, tomato puree, axle grease, real hickory smoke, snuff, butts of clove cigarettes, Guiness Stout fermentation dregs, uranium mill tailings, muffler cores, monosodium glutamate, nitrates, nitrites, nitrotes and nitrutes, nutrites, natrotes, powdered pork nose hairs, dynamite, activated charcoal, match-heads, used pipe cleaners, tar, nicotine, single-malt whiskey, smoked beef lymph nodes, autumn leaves, red fuming nitric acid, bituminous coal, fallout, printer's ink, laundry starch, drain cleaner, blue chrysotile asbestos, carrageenan, BHA, BHT, and natural flavorings."
Re: Cynicism on my mehflakes
They had an example of this in the German GCSE book we used, IIRC it was...
I can't remember how to say anything meaningful in German, but that stuck in there somehow. Any German speakers here? Did I get it right?
Broke out the popcorn, clicked to the comments...
And not a single "squeal piggie" or porking punchline.
Shameful, commentards, absolutely shameful.
Why not use blue whales & elephant seals? All this metric crap is just far too easy. It could be like stone, pound & ounces, except with blue whales, elephant seals, & oh I don't know, some sort of penguin maybe?
Open source attack dog?
Isn't that the next Ubuntu release? Rabid Rottweiler?
The police gave chase & couldn't catch 'em...
But as soon as they rounded a corner Apple's lawyers were on to them like a shot.
World ends in two days?
Fuck I forgot, I've just renewed my monthly travel pass...
I want some Chinese Space Chillies!
Re: "A Scottish man has been given an extra stretch inside"
I didn't, until you pointed it out, for which I thank you.
Re: Lawrence of Arabia
I remember Peter O'Toole admitting being so pissed for one scene that he tied himself to his camel, I can't help but wonder if you can tell at 4K.
I've just had my tailor alter my dinner jacket for a shoulder holster.
One denial in the sub-head, one in the article.
I suppose Lester has a cast-iron alibi too?
<-- Safety googles
Re: The Holy Jellyfish?
May you be touched by his (kind of) noodly (albeit in a squishy over-cooked kind of way) appendage.
Dear El Reg SPB
If they beat the record will there be a PARIS 2 after LOHAN?
Re: Arial? How gauche!
As much as I hate Comic Sans I can't help but think that Papyrus would look worse.
My local sarnie shop stopped doing hot sandwiches an hour ago.
Igor, throw the switch!
bullishness? Bullshitness shirley?
Can you change the battery?
You forgot the cuddly toy!
*pulls string* "May da schwartz be with you"
I need four of these & a kick arse dogsled. My commute will never be dull again.
Re: Not suprised....
"Mind you, I've heard of people taking vintage macs to apple stores and getting service, so stranger things have happened."
It's almost worth $100k just to take it into an Apple store & try!
Re: Why titanium rod?
If you used a tube could you fill it with whatever is in those chemical hand-warmer thingies, just before launching, & at that altitude would it do enough/anything to stop freezing?
Ignore me if I'm talking shit, it's already beer 'o' clock round these here parts & I know nothing.
Re: Re: Patents...
There was a phone released in early 2005 which had an on-screen "slide to unlock" feature. Apple filed the patent in December 2005. Can't remember the manufacturer, some Scandinavian company (not the obvious two).
When I read the headline I just knew the article would involve at least one photo of people holding beer.
Bonus points for inserting a gratuitous cockwomble.
It's like watching two software patent lawyers mating.
No no no, it's like ounces, lb & stone.
16 trees of monkeys to the sack of badgers, 14 sacks of badgers per box of frogs.
Unless you're talking literally & are experimenting with a blender.
Look in DuckDuckGo's goodies page, you can just use !shopping before your search.
Man, such hostility...
Some mainly Windows BOFHs also do Linux admin & vice versa. Such people may have Linux tools that they use for Windows admin & system rescue, therefore mentioning such tools is surely quite legitimate when they've been asked what tools they use. It's each to their own, either deal with it or get a job llama farming or some shit. In fact bollocks, it's your blood pressure.
I'm a complete agnostic when it comes to OS preference, each has it's own merits. But Windows admins going all frothy at the mouth as soon as someone mentions that they use Linux tools to fix things is quite frankly a bit sad, just as sad as the reverse would be. I've picked up tips here on both MS & Linux based options, if you stop going all red mist & actually read some of the comments you may learn about something that will save you some serious time & effort at some point.
Serious, this is making iTards look positively liberal & cuddly, & a fair proportion of both Windows & Linux BOFHs who have posted look like a bunch of cockwombles.
ONE STEP BEYOOOOOND!!!!
Damn, when I read the concrete balls bit I came as close as I've ever genuinely come to replicating the icon to the left, nasally. I think it's lucky I've got a cold.
"...you will have to speak ... very... clearly."
Give me your clothes, your boots, & your motorcycle.
Clear enough? What accent?
Doesn't SRWare Iron have all these? Or close enough equivalents anyway...
No it's an emo band from Stoke on Trent.
Kill It Before... Oh SH..........
I nearly "accidentally" bought one while Xmas shopping online the other week, plus the £16 rocket launcher attachment.
Now I think about it why didn't I buy one? Damned fool.
That would have to be a smaller portrait shurely.
Oh I see...
Don't know what you can use, but if you use any name except LOVELACE for the part that sucks mightily there's no justice in the world.
Contrived acronyms are somewhat beyond me at current caffeine levels.
Can you tweak anti-Apple stories...
...so anyone using Safari can only vote for orgasmic?
Surely it would be more entertaining to submit Profanisaurus entries to the Pakistan "Telecomminication" Authority, whoever gets the most added to the naughty list wins!
Or just call it first to 5?
Yeah but they only had it covered for third-party, fire, theft & aliens, so they're still screwed.
- Bugger the jetpack, where's my 21st-century Psion?
- Something for the Weekend, Sir? Why can’t I walk past Maplin without buying stuff I don’t need?
- Review 'Mommy got me an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000 for Xmas!' South Park: Stick of Truth
- The land of Milk and Sammy: Free music app touted by Samsung
- Privacy warriors lob sueball at Facebook buyout of WhatsApp