Mediocrates • User • The Register Forums

Negroponte plans tablet airdrops to teach kids to read

Wednesday 2nd November 2011 23:08 GMT Mediocrates

"solar powered battery"???

I thought batteries *were* power sources...

0 3

Mozilla delivers Binged-up Firefox browser

Thursday 27th October 2011 23:03 GMT Mediocrates

It's even easier to picture Steve B as the creature from Young Frankenstein

http://macenstein.com/default/2010/10/apple-costs-steve-ballmer-half-his-bonus/

0 0

Thursday 27th October 2011 15:22 GMT Mediocrates

Oh, no! Not Ming the Merciless!

Where's Flash (drive) Gordon when you need him?

2 0

Crowd-pleasing study in capitalism conspiracy controversy

Friday 21st October 2011 23:10 GMT Mediocrates

probing with scientific methods

I find probing with unscientific methods far more satisfying.

1 0

Ballmer disses Android as cheap and complex

Thursday 20th October 2011 08:00 GMT Mediocrates

He's not as wacky as Charli Sheen

Oh, wait, that's a bad thing - Charlie is fun to watch.

0 0

Pumped-up radio telescope seeks new moniker

Tuesday 18th October 2011 03:59 GMT Mediocrates

HUGE VLA

Huge Ultra Giant Expanded Very Large Array

0 0

Sixth of Britain's cellphones have traces of poo on them

Saturday 15th October 2011 17:53 GMT Mediocrates

The phones don't have poo on them...

...they're MADE of poo!

0 0

Future wars will be over water not fuel, warns Intel sage

Thursday 13th October 2011 20:59 GMT Mediocrates

Looks like Mr. Pawlowski just saw Tank Girl...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114614/

0 0

Gay-bashing cult plans picket of Steve Jobs funeral

Friday 7th October 2011 08:38 GMT Mediocrates

Being "Christian"

"The only requirement being being considered "Christian" is belief in Jesus."

In James 2:19 it says that even the demons believe and they tremble in terror. Clearly belief is not enough, one must also follow.

9 0

The plane story of galactic clusters

Wednesday 5th October 2011 00:00 GMT Mediocrates

Communication network

It's the Space Internet!

0 0

Mighty trash-bag balloon cluster soars above Nevada

Friday 30th September 2011 23:26 GMT Mediocrates

Grid Pattern

That's just a manifestation of our Hive Mind (tm).

0 0

Life-size Lego assault rifle really works

Friday 30th September 2011 23:09 GMT Mediocrates

My wife did much the same thing...

When I bought a surplus geiger counter for 20 bucks.

2 1

Boffins prove Queen ballad 'world's most catchy song'

Friday 30th September 2011 08:01 GMT Mediocrates

But what about "Billy Don't Be a Hero"?!

Or "Dancing Queen"...

0 0

Rogue toilet takes out Norfolk server

Saturday 24th September 2011 07:54 GMT Mediocrates

Massive logjam suspected in server crap-out

nuff sed

0 0

Netflix: How to completely screw up

Monday 19th September 2011 22:07 GMT Mediocrates

Popping down to the local DVD shop...

There are no more local DVD shops - Netflix put them out of business.

11 0

Yahoo, Microsoft's Bing display toxic ads

Saturday 17th September 2011 03:48 GMT Mediocrates

This doesn't happen to Google...

Because the GoogleCops play Hardball. In fact they're so nasty they don't even want the world to know they exi-...GHY!RKK...................

0 0

LOHAN checks into REHAB

Friday 16th September 2011 00:39 GMT Mediocrates

Title

Yes.

0 0

Intel laptop boss to make Ultrabooks context savvy

Thursday 15th September 2011 09:32 GMT Mediocrates

Never trust a guy named "Mooly"

Nuff said.

1 0

Ballmer reprises 'developers, developers, developers' chant

Thursday 15th September 2011 08:23 GMT Mediocrates

“It's the day and age of the Windows developer"

1992 wants it's catchphrase back.

1 0

Microsoft delivers 'copy Apple' Windows 8 message

Thursday 1st September 2011 23:05 GMT Mediocrates

Why don't they just graft Gnome 3 onto Windows

Then they could call it Metro-Gnome...

And market it to musicians.

5 0

Biofuel boffins pimp panda poo

Wednesday 31st August 2011 20:00 GMT Mediocrates

What the pandas will eat

Soylent Green

1 0

Wikipedia: It's not for girls

Wednesday 17th August 2011 00:36 GMT Mediocrates

small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri

"What are they?"

Lunch

0 0

Intel dangles $300m bait in 'ultrabook' partner hunt

Saturday 13th August 2011 00:00 GMT Mediocrates

recursion

If you invented something 3 times better than the best, wouldn't that make it... the best? And then it would have to be 3 times better than itself. Continuously.

My brain hurt now.

0 0

Friday 12th August 2011 08:29 GMT Mediocrates

language...

"What language is this in?"

The official language of business -- Moronics

0 0

Windows Phone dev GM splits with Microsoft

Tuesday 9th August 2011 05:06 GMT Mediocrates

building smartphones into jock straps.

Brett Favre would certainly like the convenience...

1 0

Apple unveils 'World's First Thunderbolt Display'

Thursday 21st July 2011 01:03 GMT Mediocrates

Pedant baiter baiting

"It also has a circumference"

Circular logic will only make you dizzy.

0 0

Wednesday 20th July 2011 19:00 GMT Mediocrates

Boring pendantic crap

"A single two-ended cable attaches to a..."

Don't all cables have at least two ends?

12 0

Google erects Colombian 'g.co' URL shortener for Google+

Wednesday 20th July 2011 14:10 GMT Mediocrates

twat swatting

I think a twat-free internet would be a good thing...

0 0

World's first turbine powered Batmobile hits roads

Tuesday 19th July 2011 07:17 GMT Mediocrates

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

"but atomic battery powered turbines? Seriously, WTF?"

No, the atomic batteries powered the headlights.

1 0

Monday 18th July 2011 23:50 GMT Mediocrates

sorry, no downvoting

"but thats how american cars get round corners"

And it's a damn lot of fun! Almost as good as driving a speedboat off a barn roof.

1 0

SpaceShipOne designer produces hybrid flying car

Monday 18th July 2011 23:55 GMT Mediocrates

BiPod?

As in "Bisexual iPod"?

0 0

Google: Go public on Profiles or we'll delete you

Thursday 7th July 2011 21:26 GMT Mediocrates

Re: What are you hiding?

Your wife's lipstick...

2 0

Moderatrix kisses the Reg goodbye

Sunday 3rd July 2011 14:16 GMT Mediocrates

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits

"I can't imagine why someone would down vote SuperTim"

It is obvious that both of Sarah Palin's supporters read the Reg comments.

2 0

'Spongiforma squarepantsii' lifeform found in Borneo

Thursday 16th June 2011 21:17 GMT Mediocrates

Department of Redundancy Department

"hollow holes"

1 0

New 'liquid smart metal' can go hard or floppy

Wednesday 8th June 2011 00:34 GMT Mediocrates

The real T-1000

The T-1000 was a Chevrolet Chevette with Pontiac badges.

0 0

Germans completely humourless: Official

Wednesday 8th June 2011 00:34 GMT Mediocrates

No, there is only one German Joke

The rest are true.

Joke Alert for the humorless...

0 0

Wednesday 8th June 2011 00:34 GMT Mediocrates

From a Yank

Canada needs a good sense of humor to live next to us.

1 0

Facebook quietly switches on facial recognition tech by default

Tuesday 7th June 2011 20:08 GMT Mediocrates

Didn't think that through

Do you have any idea how angry the woman living in Tripoli, born April 1, 1984 is going to be when she finds out it's your fault?!

2 0

Boffins develop working MALE PILL

Monday 6th June 2011 22:03 GMT Mediocrates

If you're concerned about initial purchase price and depreciation

Consider heat-shrink tubing.

As a side benefit, you'll be able to sing the high parts...

0 0

Microsoft's patents shakedown betrays spirit of Gates

Monday 6th June 2011 22:02 GMT Mediocrates

I am aware of that

But it really does not negate anything I wrote as BillG's letter was written in 1976 and by the 1990's Microsoft structured their pricing in such a way that licenses for both DOS and Windows were tied to CPU purchases (at least in the USA). This meant if you bought a CPU and only a CPU you got a license for DOS and Windows. Hence, no "piracy" of MS operating system products could possibly exist for the first half of the nineties.

0 0

Saturday 4th June 2011 05:21 GMT Mediocrates

The Good, Old Days

"Piracy" didn't exist then -- everyone could use DOS and Windows on their white box PCs free of charge.

Funny how they turned the 1995 consent decree that was supposed to curb their income into a revenue generator...

0 0

Student suspended for posting random satire on YouTube

Saturday 4th June 2011 04:55 GMT Mediocrates

Too Late

"Now I am going to go and stick my positive moral tone into a fleshlight. I hope my teacher doesn't find out."

You forgot to turn the secret webcam off.

14 0

Name that donkey: Barbarella battles Bathsheba

Friday 3rd June 2011 22:14 GMT Mediocrates

Too bad the letter K was out of consideration

Kim Kardashian would have been a perfect name for an ass.

Since that's out, my vote is for Barbarella.

1 0

Daleks given a well-earned break

Tuesday 31st May 2011 23:47 GMT Mediocrates

When did Apple get involved?

Surely the photo shows fruit-themed iDaleks.

1 0

Stealth hovercraft armada poised to invade South Korea

Tuesday 31st May 2011 23:30 GMT Mediocrates

Stealth on a budget

"How on earth do you take a bleedin' massive fan together with the engine required to power it, and make the whole shebang stealthy?"

Make the engines so lousy that they crap out after a quarter of a mile. Total Silence.

1 0

Robot air fleet can launch mid-air from cargo plane's ramp

Tuesday 31st May 2011 23:30 GMT Mediocrates

Rev. 2

They need weapons so they look more like fighter jets -- Miniature Air Launched Decoy for Enemy Neutralization (MALDEN). That way they could really clean up The Streets Of San Francisco or maybe even beat Matt Helm.

Mine's the one with the 1972 TV Guide in the pocket.

0 0

Depressed Scottish file-sharing nurse gets 3 yrs probation

Tuesday 31st May 2011 22:53 GMT Mediocrates

mega karaoke torrent

Sounds like a name for a bad monster movie "Mega Karaoke Torrent vs. Giant OctoCorp"

1 0

Ballmer: Time up for 'stuck in the past' Microsoft CEO?

Thursday 26th May 2011 23:12 GMT Mediocrates

Who is going to fill his size nines?

How about Larry Ellison?

0 0

Humanity frees cattle, buffalo from cloven-hoofed plague

Thursday 26th May 2011 22:00 GMT Mediocrates

The IT angle

Global Rinderpest Eradication Programme ---> GREP

But only for eunuchs...

0 0

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Posts by Mediocrates

Page:

"solar powered battery"???

It's even easier to picture Steve B as the creature from Young Frankenstein

Oh, no! Not Ming the Merciless!

probing with scientific methods

He's not as wacky as Charli Sheen

HUGE VLA

The phones don't have poo on them...

Looks like Mr. Pawlowski just saw Tank Girl...

Being "Christian"

Communication network

Grid Pattern

My wife did much the same thing...

But what about "Billy Don't Be a Hero"?!

Massive logjam suspected in server crap-out

Popping down to the local DVD shop...

This doesn't happen to Google...

Title

Never trust a guy named "Mooly"

“It's the day and age of the Windows developer"

Why don't they just graft Gnome 3 onto Windows

What the pandas will eat

small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri

recursion

language...

building smartphones into jock straps.

Pedant baiter baiting

Boring pendantic crap

twat swatting

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

sorry, no downvoting

BiPod?

Re: What are you hiding?

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits

Department of Redundancy Department

The real T-1000

No, there is only one German Joke

From a Yank

Didn't think that through

If you're concerned about initial purchase price and depreciation

I am aware of that

The Good, Old Days

Too Late

Too bad the letter K was out of consideration

When did Apple get involved?

Stealth on a budget

Rev. 2

mega karaoke torrent

Who is going to fill his size nines?

The IT angle

Page:

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