Verbal bodyguard
Personally I think this is where retaining John Prescott as right-hand/right-jab guy, instead of Harriet 'Duchess of Chinless' Harman, would have come in handy.
Why go half-arsed with the inarticulateness when you could get a pro like Prezza to fob off all enquiries with flurries of mangled syntax and deployment of words like 'Balklands' and 'hydro-cardigans'?
But Gordon had to go and be Mr Micromanagement, didn't he? Delegate, man.