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* Posts by MishyMoshy

14 posts • joined 6 Jun 2007

Is it or isn't it? Brown keeps bottling the ID card question

MishyMoshy

Verbal bodyguard

Personally I think this is where retaining John Prescott as right-hand/right-jab guy, instead of Harriet 'Duchess of Chinless' Harman, would have come in handy.

Why go half-arsed with the inarticulateness when you could get a pro like Prezza to fob off all enquiries with flurries of mangled syntax and deployment of words like 'Balklands' and 'hydro-cardigans'?

But Gordon had to go and be Mr Micromanagement, didn't he? Delegate, man.

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NHS frets over Brits' genitalia

MishyMoshy

Load of old cock

The anatomically incorrect point is: why, in the words of Vic & Bob, have the figures adopted the stance of Sandi Toksvig?

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Sod robots, send people into space: report

MishyMoshy

Boyle's Law

Forget all that wimpy send-one-man-here-or-there stuff. What we need is (to quote Frankie Boyle on Mock The Week) a giant sex gun so the earth can make love to the moon.

On a less unhelpful note I find it kinda strange how peeps can get soooo passionately uptight about NOT doing something... As the report seems to suggest: have both.

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Homer Simpson debuts in Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations

MishyMoshy

The Book of Prescott

You mean a quote *about* Prescott got in but Prescott himself didn't? Snobs. Hopefully he at least made it into the normal dictionary with 'Balklands' and my fave 'Hydrocardigans'.

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El Reg protests North Korean internet domain

MishyMoshy

Bo(.nk)ers

Kinda reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Homer is pondering all the potholes involved in giving his newborn son a name which could be made to rhyme with unfortunate things by his future schoolmates. Then he goes: 'Bart? Hmmm... Cart, Dart... ...Eee-art... Nope - can't see anything wrong with that!'

And in other news: how about a "PO-FACED WANNABE CURTAIN-TWITCHING PRIGS WHO CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO GO ONLINE AND ADVERTISE HIS INABILITY TO GET THIS THING YOU HUMANS CALL H-U-M-O-U-R ALERT". Trips off the tongue and would avoid this frightful sort misunderestanding happening in the first place, don't you know.

Get a life, dude, sheesh.

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Russian firm targets wooden phones at posers everywhere

MishyMoshy

Playboy Toy

To be honest, without the price tag, the 70's lounge teaktastic look just reminds me of an old TV remote somehow.

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Chinese women crave Bill Gates' sperm

MishyMoshy

RimmerWorld

This just puts me in mind of all those so-called alien abduction reports where sad guys claim they were specially selected by their overlords to impregnate their whole species of lush ultra-babes from Planet Sexy. Bill could live out that fantasy for real! Scary.

I, for one, welcome our new overlords. Good night.

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Team America to launder $24m North Korean cash through Russia

MishyMoshy

North Korea: F*ck yeah!

You gotta feel for the poor fella - i reckon like his dad he's just ron'ry and rooking for ruhv...

But if they're gonna get all imaginative with the money laundering why not just arrange for Nam to turn up at some casino in Macau put all his chips on red and rig it so he miraculously wins 24 mills? I mean, it's not like he ain't got the briefcase to carry the cash back home in already, right?

Alternatively they could set up a hot date for him with a Thai ladyboy posing as a Japanese working girl, then drop leaflets with photos of said encounter printed on them all over North K.

Bombs away: Nam Suk Kok.

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Unmanned aircraft rubbish, says senior US pilot

MishyMoshy

F4ck him

At the end of the day it's like this: that drone plane is ugly with a capital Ugh. Phantom F4's are sex on wings, they are proper hourglass figure jets from the days when planes were proud to have big boobs. When are the military going to get their priorities right? We want sexy planes with lots of fishnet stealth and (un)revealing camouflage paintwork - now. Not stick insect slab-sided bony supermodel designs. We want lust-seeking air lasses with all the weaponry, massive double-fuel tanks on the wings and lotsa Air-to-Groin missiles 'n all. We want landing gear on high heels. We want wings that sweep back when you wanna go all the way/supersonic like they're drooping their shoulders to undress their neglige. Psychological warfare - the enemy will be so discombobulated and salivating and wolf-whistling at the sight of our sexy planes they won't notice the prize heat-seeking priapic missile up their chuff.

On a soberer note:

Ironically enuff F4's were apparently complete dogs to pilot so this guy's 4000 hours shoulda taught him anything's better than a manned F4 at least. Bet he wears silky ladies' underwear, the pussy.

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'Shut your head and be pheasant'

MishyMoshy

Mean-testy

'Shut your head and be pheasant' sounds quite Zen - maybe it's something only an oriental chap can achieve when mangling english into submission. It's like a headlong accident between a koan and english as she is spoken.

Joyful, I admire him with wildfowl honourably.

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Outrage over 'sponsor a boob job' website

MishyMoshy

Putting the 'Cr' into 'Plumbing New Depths of Crass'

Reckon an association of this nature is, just by virtue of the 'hapless' acronym intent on getting media exposure, and this is a perfect opportunity for them to publicly emote some 'outrage' and show they care for their target demographic.

Or it could be another kerrrayzee Dutch Reality Phone-In TV-style stunt to signal the lack of natural breast donors for women whose bodies are booby-trapped by aesthetically uncooperative genes. Cos natural is beast, you know.

Anyway, bet they're based in Bristol.

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Boffin retracts martian water claims

MishyMoshy

Time of the month

I guess if you call it an August publication maybe it's just that they're ahead of their time...

Cos you surely didn't mean to call them an august publication? More like a lower grade pop-sci tabloid that's typical of mainstream scientific news in the UK nowadays - just compare it to Scientific American. All of which illustrates the calibre of staff they've got such that there wasn't anyone left in the building with a couple of braincells switched on to spot such glaring rubbish (like, you know, Mars hardly has an atmosphere which kinda puts the kibosh on that sorta thing...?). Maybe it's too much like rocket science to them.

Look forward to seeing an article about little green people found on Mars. It'll be worth printing cos it's what somebody said so that's fine. Not a specialist's journalist job to know better.

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Google's Street View could be unlawful in Europe

MishyMoshy

Notre Damn

Funny all the mentions of France. Couple of years ago I went to Paris in a wannabe spree of street photography, trying to be Henri Cartier-Bresson. Turns out nowadays it's illegal to do street photography in France - for all the reasons itemised above re. the Google thing. Given that HCB and tonnes of others made people see street photography could be an art form just like any other, it all goes to show how much bullshit rationalisation goes into both sides of privacy/public interest arguments. At the end of the day it's probably more about vested interest...

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MishyMoshy

Title

Nah - keep the faces and put a pixelated figleaf in front of arse cleaveage like this:

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=l&hl=en&q=museum&near=San+Francisco,+California,+United+States&ie=UTF8&view=map&om=1&layer=c&cbll=37.777452,-122.504927&cbp=1,289.513005367503,0.621668831799214,3&ll=37.784792,-122.502236&spn=0.020452,0.057335&z=15

Genius.

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