* Posts by Imsimil Berati-Lahn

194 posts • joined 27 Oct 2010

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South Korea to upgrade national stereo defence system for US$16m

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: HHG reminder

"Danger Area" was the name of the band in any of the incarnations I've come across. Hotblack Desiato, their keytar player, was spending a year dead for tax purposes when Zaphod saw him at Miliways.

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Docker hired private detectives to pursue woman engineer's rape, death threat trolls

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: How endemic is it?

You're quite right. Given a large enough audience, such heinousness is a simple, sad statistical inevitablity. I think it is incumbent upon the social media industry to give users the option to automatically mute / ignore / delete any messages without traceable provonence. If you're coming in from an anon proxy or similar, we as users should be able to choose to assume that you're up to no good and automatically ignore any (potential) bile that might otherwise come our way.

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Aluminum-wrapped robbers fail to foil bank

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Point of order.

The Praia Grande where this took place is in Santa Catarina, not the one in Sao Paulo.

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Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

One question.

Did this chancer have to pay court costs or was this ruling, (and the lengthy research necessary to reach it) funded with public money?

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The Register to publish Mindful Sysadmin adult colouring book

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Thank you.

I was genuinely moved by this article.

Most of the spoofs this year have been a bit lame, cynical or both.

This one is really quite sweet, so thank you.

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Furious English villagers force council climbdown over Satan's stone booty

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: The compensation culture at work!

I'd have thought it's clearly a case of "driving without due care and attention", 3 points and a fine minimum, but what do I know. "SumWon else's fault! Munny PLeez!!!"

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US chap sharpens paradigm-busting scissors

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Really?

I'm fairly sure that prior art exists for this idea. Oh yeah, in my garden shed. Edging shears. Okay, not for cutting metal sheet or wire mesh, but the principle is exactly the same.

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Intravenous hangover clinics don't work, could land you in hospital

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Don't do needles, kids!

The human part of me can't help but feel sorry for the poor saps that got fubared by these shysters, but if you're going to stick a needle into yourself for non-medical reasons, you're asking for trouble.

For those who haven't figured it out already,

the "secret" hangover cure formula is as follows.

750g H2O

50g C6H12O6

2g MgSO4

1g NaCl

1g KCl

It is taken orally, no needles required.

Follow this up with 1500g H2O to be sipped over the course of the next hour or two.

You'll be right as rain, (well, you will feel a boatload better).

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Australian astroboffins reveal hundreds of hidden galaxies

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: re. WALLABY

Have to admit to rolling my eyes over that rather contrived meta-acronym.

Widefield ASKAP L-band Legacy All-Sky Blind Survey

would be WASKAPLLASBS

but then they're not quite so cute and furry, are they?

Wouldn't want to imply they're

Widefield ASKAP Near Ku-band Epiterrestrial Receiver Systems

for such japery. glass houses, stones etc...

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Roll up, roll up to the Malware Museum! Run classic DOS viruses in your web browser

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

My favourite

I was rather fond of the URKLE virus.

Silly payload would randomly put the letters URKLE into the keyboard buffer rendering subsequent memos slightly silly.

I remember when nostalgia used to be considered a mental illness.

But that was back in the good old days.

Ah well.

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Google UK coughs up £130m back taxes. Is it enough?

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Tax take versus turnover

So, 20.4million corp tax implies around 52million profit which is around 1.3% of the quoted 3.8billion turnover. Turnover sufficient to keep f#ckloads of people employed, profit enough to keep the shareholders happy, tax enough to keep the exchequer on side. Don't know what the fuss is about. Yeah thanks for the £130mil bunce, it'll come in handy right about now. Don't do it again though, otherwise keep up the good work.

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Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: WTF is this "antisemitic propaganda" you keep going on about?

I think he just wants to get in first with the "Godwin's" call.

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The planets really will be in alignment for the next month

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: Note for northern readers...

I was scratching my melon for a bit over the diagram... Looking NorthEast??? Rising right to left??? Then I read on ... blah blah Australian blah blah... oh, okay. Got that. Moving on. HEADLINE NEWS: PLANETS APPEAR MORE OR LESS LINED UP ON THE ECLIPTIC!!! errr... yeah, generally they would wouldn't they? Ho hum.

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Your taxes at work: Three hours driving to turn on politician's PC

Imsimil Berati-Lahn
Coat

Re: This one time...

He had a collection of mammalian genitalia?

Sounds like a load of bollocks to me.

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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Time for TrumpTron

As Kevin Flynn prepares for his next trip to the grid, he ponders "Man, I look good! Maybe I should fine-tune the Brylcreem rendering engine this time."

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US Navy grabs old-fashioned sextants amid hacker attack fears

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: GPS currently being jammed in Scotland

GPS gets jammed off the coast of Florida to piss the Cubans off, either / or it's the Cubans trying to piss the US off. I think the former more likely, cos if it were the latter it'd meet with short and probably violent shrift.

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Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: Oh dear oh dear

..but if you don't have the book, then you don't have the celestial body position data so you can do all the spherical trig you like, you'll be missing a third of the data you need to calculate your position line.

Since you need the almanac data somewhere, why not include the sight reduction cheat-sheets in the same volume?

I suppose you can get an approximate fix from a noon-sight of the sun provided you've got a reliable timepiece. That'd be good enough for trans-oceanic intercontinental nav, but good luck if you're aiming for a fly-turd speck of an island somewhere. You're gonna need a taller lookout mast.

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Speed of light slower than we thought? Probably not

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: @Martin Budden: One of these things is not the same as the other...

"Assume the sheep is a sphere..."

... with zero rest mass, neutral charge and a spin of 1/2.

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'Sterile neutrinos' re-ignite 'we found dark-stuff' debate

Imsimil Berati-Lahn
Coat

Thank goodness for that.

For a moment there I thought we were seeing more of those mutant neutrinos responsible for super-heating the Earth's core causing all that apocalyptic seismic activity we saw a couple of years ago.

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Physicist proposes 1,000-foot state-sized walls to stop tornadoes

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Gosh durn turnado...

Gunna build me a big ol' wall, keep them pesky durn turnados outta my back yard. Git! gwaan outtahere! Pesky durn turnado. <mumble, grimble>

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Oculus seeks partners in drive to get a billion people into virtual reality

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: A billion people? Compelling use case

two letters:

E:D

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David Cameron wants mobe network roaming INSIDE the UK

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Manx telecom SIM for use as backup.

Get a PAYG SIM from Manx telecom. Isle of Man based network, roams all of the mainland UK networks. Same cost* as a mainland PAYG calls and texts.

*except folks phoning you on that number probably won't get to use their inclusive minutes, but you're only using it for outgoing calls anyway.

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Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: FUD

Okay, stop it now.

It's turning into a Two Ronnies sketch.

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Everyone can and should learn to code? RUBBISH, says Torvalds

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: @AC101 @stu4

"Learning Latin teaches you Latin. that's it."

Learning Latin instills linguistic reasoning, induction and deduction. It teaches the phonetic, grammatical and syntactical building blocks of five other majority languages spoken worldwide. It develops ones ability to communicate and understand by using language.

Some of those for whom it seems important believe that everyone should be made to learn it.

However, it is not everybody's forte.

It should be available to learn, but not compulsory.

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Facial recognition tech convicts man in Chicago robbery case

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: Bad headlines

You're damn right: Clickbait headline, plain wrong both in terms of information and morality, (like journos worry about either of those things eh?)

Thankfully the article detail is a little more honest.

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Still watching DVDs? You're a PLANET-KILLING CARBON HOG!

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: Worth checking the source

Thanks for the working link.

My opinion is that the study has some flawed assumptions.

1) People will exclusively use EITHER physical media, OR streamed media.

2) Physical media will only be watched once.

3) Physical media devices use more energy than streaming ones.

Generally, none of these assumptions will be true.

And also the study is incomplete for not including the retained downloaded electronic media model.

Also those kind of figures are like a fart in a hurricane compared with food production energy usage.

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The Internet of Things helps insurance firms reward, punish

Imsimil Berati-Lahn
Headmaster

Re: Spelling and Grammer

according to WHOM...

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Real, hovering SPEEDER BIKE can be YOURS for cheaper than a house

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: "45 MPH isn't really very fast "

The mileage will depend upon the wind direction since that maximum 45mph is air speed.

You're absolutely right though. For that kind of money I could get an ultralight, a Hayabusa and a Landrover with plenty of change left over for various types of mind-altering chemicals if I ever got bored the previous three things.

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Game of Thrones written on brutal medieval word processor and OS

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: Turn them off?

We all (most of us) remeber the paperclip atrocities.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifleu0VVAc0

Lest we forget.

I expect Mr Martin has been subject to similar annoyances and has decided: Never again.

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Vinyl-fetish hipsters might just have a point

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Vinly is all well and good, but...

... you simply can't beat the warm and wholesome sound of two rocks being bashed together roughly in time with the strange rythmns pulsating inside my otherwise empty skull.

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Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: Dual track is nothing new

I remember the "Ride a Reindeer" christmas novelty record. A 4 groove 45, each track lasting approximately 40 seconds and each with a different winning reindeer. Place your bets...

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Lost treasure of Atari REVEALED

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Choice of burial site and reasons for exhuming

I thought they chose the New Mexico desert in the misguided hope that nuclear weapon testing would vaporise their stockpile of toxic waste. Unfortunately they were ill-informed about the chosen test sites subsequent to completion of the Manhattan project. So now the offending articles are being exhumed and shipped to North Korea with the promise of molecular-level annihilation some time soon.

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Japan plans SEVEN satellite launches to supercharge GPS

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: Is there a rocket scientist in the house?

I wondered about this.

If they're going for a geosynchronous SV, just have the one with a footprint pointing at Japan. Ahh, but then it's not at the zenith from Japan and you don't get cen-ti-meee-terr accuracy, (cos that's soooo important for your average user). I would hazard a guess that they'd need to use inclined elliptical orbits so the SV is wafting North and South of the equator on a daily basis, hence the need for 4 of them each with the inclination axis offset by 90° longitude to ensure there is an aggregated link overhead all the time. That's why they call it "Quasi-Zenith" I suppose.

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NSA spies recorded an entire COUNTRY'S phone calls for a MONTH: Report

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: "...in one unnamed country..."

I wonder what it's like being a citizen of <NUL>.

If you forget when your doctors appointment is, can you get the NSA to text you a reminder?

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Blighty goes retro with 12-sided pound coin

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: Good Idea

This sort of talk always reminds me of "Capstick comes home"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2AcJSkUw6M&feature=kp

circa 2:23 from this recording but worth listening to the whole thing, I think.

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Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: ... and a fitting tribute this is.

"€9.99 is less than £9.99."...

...at time of posting.

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Five unbelievable headlines that claim Tim Berners-Lee 'INVENTED the INTERNET'

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: The Internet!

Soon only the Google certified version of history will be studied.

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Projector on a smartphone? There's a chip for that

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: asteroids... et al.

EEEEH! Battlezone!!!

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Neil Young touts MP3 player that's no Piece of Crap

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Oh Emperor! Your new clothes do look wonderful!

Zero / minimal phase >distortion< perhaps? That'd be a Finite Impulse Response filter then...

Oh, but they don't want to be using such a negative word as "distortion" in marketing bumf.

Maybe try "maximum phase fidelity" instead of just avoiding the "D" word + sack their marketing dept + pay me a F.O. huge commission. (yeah, right).

Nothing to see here I'd venture, however a definite whiff of snake oil / BS. Oh, the smell of it.

Here's interesting though.

Found this from the annals of the Salzburg Konservatorium, circa 1800

Regard: the new UberKlingen.

Guarranteed to be nicer than your current StuckSheize in a manner that is not clearly defined or objectively measurable in any way.

Endorsed by Ludwig Van-Beethoven.

Only 5x the price of equivalent apparatus not carrying said endorsement.

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Insecure hipsters with BEARD ENVY spur facial hair transplant craze

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Just a quick question?

Are hipster women also suffering from beard envy?

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Actor who played Rogue Two in Star Wars dies aged 67

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Fist full of travellers cheques

It has been mentioned, but I'll always remember him as the unhinged cafe owner in this Comic Strip classic.

Keep calm, Marie.

That's an awfully big bus. There could be six people in there.

Jesus! If they only buy coffee, it'll be enough to pay the ground rent.

Condolences.

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SCRAP the TELLY TAX? Ancient BBC Time Lords mull Beeb's future

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: The BBC never really recovered...

"...Why don't we just sell the entire country for scrap..."

Thatcher already did that.

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Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Re: People of Walmart

Thank you for the warning.

I still require eye bleach but it is my own stupid, STUPID fault.

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Object to #YearOfCode? You're a misogynist and a snob, says the BBC

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Simple solution.

Legislate that it is prohibited for anyone under the age of 25 to learn about computers or to write and implement computational algorithms.

Suddenly, the topic acquires a mysitque and subversive caché.

Teenagers throughout the land will be clamouring to learn and understand the forbidden knowledge.

It can't be worse than the current, ham-handed deployment of besuited politicos endeavouring to be "down wiv da kids" which is naff at best and seems to be quite counterproductive from what I have heard. Buuut, maybe that is their ultimate intention.

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Drone expert: Amazon's hypetastic delivery scheme a pie in the sky

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

How fast can these things fly??!!

My nearest Amazon "fulfilment centre" (sounds more like a fancy name for a brothel if you asked me, but anyway...) is Swansea, a full 80 miles away as the multi-rotor-crow flies, assuming it can make it over the Brecons. Even if the pick, pack and pre-flight process is >instant<, that thing will still have to pull an average 160mph to get my Chinese-crapola to me in 30 minutes. I would not want to get in its way.

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Post-Profit Prophet RUSSELL BRAND is the HUMBLE CHRIST of STARTUPS

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Champagne socialists.

Every generation has their crop of these. I have very little time for them. Many a true word spoken in jest (vid circa 2:03) He is in the employ of the ruling elite, massaging away potential revolutionary ideas. The buffoon is made the most earnest face and voice of ideas which have gained traction recently amonst disenfranchised erstwhile capitalists, thereby eroding the credibility of such ideas for the wider populace. A most elegantly deployed weapon, (if in a somewhat inelegant guise this time round).

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Japanese boffins unveil INVINCIBLE robot rock, paper, scissors 'bot

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Slow news day / year? See 28/06/2012

Are we going to get a re-telling of this same story every year now?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/06/28/janken_robot/

Could have saved a bit of server space by just posting a link to the article published last year.

Thought there would have been new information.

Turns out there wasn't.

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Ubisoft's Watch Dogs muzzled by delays

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Probably Ubisoft and Thales marketing bods had a pow-pow

They got together over cocktails and prozzies to decide that it would be in both their interests if certain inane media bleatings were made.

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Students prep for battle of wits, MIPs and watts: It's student cluster-wrestling time

Imsimil Berati-Lahn

Just a quick question...

The maximum supply current stipulation, (26A industrial, 15A commercial grade): What supply voltage is that? Is it the standard single-live 120VRMS, the large appliance twin-live 240VRMS or some other "standard".

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