Imagine the service call ...
"Hello, you've reached Turkish Engine Rebuilds and Kebab House. Press <1> for F-35 service, <2> for back of the factory cheaper parts and servicing, <3> for Doner Delights Kebab"
"I need an urgent F-35 engine service"
"Well, we're a bit busy at the moment. If you can drop it off the first week of December we'll try to fit it in ..."
"When will it be done? I really need the plane flying as we're currently having a bit hoo-har don't-you-know."
"Hmmm, Well, if I can get the parts - the USA doesn't like supplying us since we became a fundamentalist Islamic State and Trump dismantled NATO - it might be done in June."
"Not before that? The North African desert sand ..."
"Oh, Sir. Sand you say? The usage protocols specifically forbid use in windy or dusty environments. And <tappety tap> I see from the usage logs you've also been flying below 2000 feet over the sea ..."
"But it's carrier based ..."
"That may be Sir but your original contract said the carrier would be a white elephant, in dry dock being serviced most of its life and not used at sea. The salt will have played havoc with the engines gangol pins ... we'll have to do a full rebuild and ... you're looking at next August/September ..."
"<2> ...<2> ...bloody <2> ... Hello? How much is a used Harrier?"