* Posts by PhilipN

194 posts • joined 12 Oct 2010

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And on that bombshell: Top Gear's Clarkson to reappear on Amazon

PhilipN

"smart TV. Ironic, isn't it?”

Not what you meant, James, but "smart" + "tv" is supreme irony.

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Happy birthday Alf Garnett, you daft, reactionary old git

PhilipN

Re: Alf Garnett - Respect!

Guilty as charged!

(Oh dear. Satire is lost on some people)

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PhilipN

Alf Garnett - Respect!

"I do not agree with what you say but I would defend to the death your right to say it."

Actually no I wouldn't.

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NASA: 'Closest thing yet to ANOTHER EARTH' - FOUND

PhilipN

Intelligent life

The search goes on, somewhat closer to home, with decidedly mixed results.

For every New Horizons team there are a million Next Door Neighbours who have difficulty using cutlery.

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The Register's resident space boffin: All you need to know about the Pluto mission

PhilipN

One way ticket please

When is Branson going to start selling trips there?

Hell, forget about the bearded one. Let's club together and do it ourselves.

Anyone have my good mate Elon's phone number?

Seriously though, New Horizons team - bloody brilliant! Nobels all round.

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Lawyer brands client 'small penis asshole' before challenging him to a DUEL

PhilipN

Lawyer's joke

In the UK, until 1973, what was the first thing a girl lost when she got married?

Her domicile.

I would explain but then I'd have to send you a huge bill.

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iPod dead? Nope, says Apple: New Touch has iPhone 6 brains

PhilipN

Problem

I am happily listening to my iPod and my mobile phone rings. How do I know?

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Microsoft suspends Windows 10 new-build downloads ahead of launch

PhilipN

Re: rings?

"Microsoft has stopped entering other rings, temporarily."

Nobody noticed the Shakespearean metaphor.

Kids today ...

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Microsoft's Surface Hub mega-slab DELAYED 'cause you demanded it

PhilipN

They're mad

Manufacturing it themselves?

They should outsource the job to Apple - let's face it, productions and logistics is the reason why TC is Top Cat at Apple - or Panasonic or LG or...

This kind of project needs high-level skills in about 10 different areas. Not just design but materials, productions, Q/A, Q/C, logistics etc etc

And throwing money at a problem sometimes helps but more usually does not. Bye bye another billion or two.

I didn't even get started on after sales and service.

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What do you MEAN, 'Click on the thing which looks like a Mondrian?'

PhilipN

How many points?

Amen to that (as they say in Nashville).

So if a supertanker (hopefully) out at sea turns round only by means of a six-point turn, what is it if it is not a six-point turn?

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Oxford Uni unearths 800-year-old document to seize domain names

PhilipN

Reminds me ..

There's a little place near where my Dad used to live in Dorset named Oxbridge.

Yes you guessed - why not set up a little shop there as the HQ of a global educational institute. Millions more people will be able to say they are Oxbridge grads.

And hands off you greedy bastards. I thought of it first!

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Sony phone chief vows to keep losing money forever and ever

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Jolla cuts hardware biz loose to concentrate on Sailfish licensing

PhilipN

Sailfish as a concept - love it

I have a Jolla. Liked the ideas but the honeymoon was brief.

Overall I like the OS but I wish it did what it does better.

It stays in the drawer.

And I am still waiting for the frigging tablet!!

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Florida cops cuff open-carry, balls-out pirate packing 'operational' flintlocks

PhilipN

$328 Bail?

Why? Is that how much he had on him?

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Uitsmijter

PhilipN

Oh please!

Cheese and BEETROOT not tomato.

The cheese should be solid blocks of cheddar/mousetrap.

Beetroot chopped in clumps from a whole one but the sliced variety from a jar or a tin is ok but only because it's better than no beetroot. The vinegar may even help to avoid serious indigestion from swallowing the cheese after the merest hint of an introduction to the effects of mastication. :)

And the longer the cheese has been (unwrapped) in the fridge - measured in months - the better. By today's standards some months past the Sell-by Date. Sheesh when I were a wee lad there was no such thing as sell-by dates. Today's yoof need them? Really? (Shakes head in mock sympathy)

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David Beckham fakes bewilderment to flog mobiles to Yanks. Fakes?

PhilipN

Advice needed

Last time I saw a youngster on the street who was trying to look like David Beckham (and was doing a reasonably good job) I just felt like going over and smacking him in the mouth.

Do I need to see a psychiatrist?

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Linux Mint 17.2: If only all penguinista desktops were done this way

PhilipN

And ...

..as El Reg's only remaining user of OS/2 I .. Hello? ... Hello? ... Where's everybody gone?

(Actually I lied. I switched to OS/X because I thought it was the latest version)

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Why SpaceX will sort out Sunday's snafu faster than NASA ever could

PhilipN

Allan McDonald

Thanks for the passing reference to him.

Every organisation needs a guy like him, with unsurpassed expertise and the balls to use it.

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KRAKKOOM! SpaceX Falcon supply mission to ISS EXPLODES minutes after launch

PhilipN

Statistical Risk

Does anyone remember the story from the golden age of science fiction wherein the planet was being vacated at the rate of thousands of rockets a time, and the narrator was praying that he was not on one of the tiny percentage which would explode?

I guess this will never change.

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Bloke called Rod struck by lightning for second time

PhilipN

Strike 3 and you're out

Huge *****r!

Has he thought of having his legs amputated to reduce the risk?

On second thoughts I do not mind standing near him in the bus queue when there's a thunderstorm. But not too near.

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Courtney Love in the crossfire! Paris turns ugly over Uber

PhilipN

Instant Dict.

I had to Google this, not having gone beyond O-Level.

The second and third results were this very page. Way to go El Reg!

By the way Monsieur Google spells it without the "c"

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How much info did hackers steal on US spies? Try all of it

PhilipN

Who - me?

I automatically started to consider answers to these questions (you all did - go on, admit it) then stopped half way because the next thought was if all that had been set out in black and white : "Who the fuck is this person? Nobody I recognise."

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Everything Apple touted at WWDC – step inside our no-hype-zone™

PhilipN

The Fall

Please say Autumn.

The Fall is a British band of not inconsiderable merit, to the point where taking their name in vain is distracting.

Or religious types may say it is something to do with those 2 chavs in the Garden of Eden.

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RAF Eurofighter gets a Battle of Britain makeover

PhilipN

Hats off to Flt. Luey Nicolson

Well done, son

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Putting your schlong into the reel-to-reel tape machine is a bad idea

PhilipN

Perspective, Mr. Dabbs

The fact is Pinky and Perky was one of the more entertaining bits of Brit TV at the time. Do try to remember what life was like in the early '60's. Perry Bloody Como on the TV - and in the charts. The Black and White Minstrels on Saturday prime time TV. And if-you-don't-feel-like-hanging-yourself-yet-you-soon-will Sing Something Simple on Sunday evening radio.

No Kojak or Man From U.N.C.L.E. No Avengers, if memory serves.

Christ! How did we get through it all!

Because at the time we lapped it up,

Now don't get me started on '50's TV and radio.

And your starter for 10 : Which actor did P and P begin performing with, who spoke on screen with an atrocious Italian accent.

Here's a clue : He later redeemed himself by playing a 'tec on Z Cars. On the other hand he had an awful lot to redeem himself for, because he also did TV ads for Special K.

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Odin (formerly Parallels) bets big on Docker and OpenStack

PhilipN

Work with IBM is under way, too.

Resolves one problem. Odin was the name of the OS/2 components and feature which enabled IBM to call OS/2 a better DOS than DOS and a better Windows than Windows.

Must be no more OS/2 guys left at IBM.

IBM used to protect its IP with ferocity.

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BONKERS apocalyptic WAR WAGONS circle Vulture South

PhilipN

"Luvvie"

Eyes passim

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FBI alert: Get these motherf'king hackers off this motherf'king plane

PhilipN

Great idea

Must have been aired extensively elsewhere but having access through the back door, or even the front door, would allow tracking of aircraft gone AWOL and preventing them from crashing into the Indian Ocean (or wherever).

No?

Oh.

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US Navy robot war-jet refuels in air: But Mav and Iceman are going down fighting

PhilipN

Sleep?

Heaven forbid, but I for one would feel comforted knowing that our front line combatants are able to stay awake for more than 12 hours.

Maybe it's time to automate the frigging carriers!

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NASA probe sent to faraway planet finds DWARF world instead: Pics

PhilipN

Hats off ....

... a million times to all those involved in this project. Bloody brilliant!

P.S. Does anyone know how to pronounce "Tombaugh". I mean, how would HE have pronounced it?

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Building a better society from the Czechs' version of Meccano

PhilipN

Thanks

Good article.

And thanks (not!) for the reminder for Izal toilet tissue which needless to say handled very well as tracing paper but not (along with Jeyes) for its intended use.

Those who remember the gruesome nature of the article will readily understand how it might have sustained a Four Yorkshireman sketch all of its own. "Kleenex?? - Luxury!"

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To BALDLY GO where few have gone before: NASA 'naut twin to spend YEAR IN SPAACE

PhilipN

Second part of the story?

Would think that testing after they return would be a lot more intensive and of course longer term. The Article mentions the twin, which is a brilliant idea, but it would be nice to know more.

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Intel's cheap and Android's free: Not any more, says TAG Heuer

PhilipN

Win-win?

Yeah, right. In my experience this is more likely to be lose-lose.

Rather like the Beatles in the time leading to the break-up, none of the participants will bust a gut over a shared product when he wants to do one exclusively his own.

I predict FAIL from Day One.

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Massive DDoS racks up $30,000-a-day Amazon bill for China activists

PhilipN

Upset China?

Will be interesting to see whether Amazon is prepared to do so.

If they help out they may prefer to do it on the quiet.

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Mattel urged to scrap Wi-Fi mic Barbie after Register investigation

PhilipN

"..the nuanced responsiveness of caring people interacting with one another ..."

Huh? My parents were from the first half of the 20th Century. Can someone please explain WTF this guy is talking about.

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iTunes snafu: DNS fail borked Apple's app & iTunes stores for 10 HOURS

PhilipN

Confused of Worthing asks ..

Haven't they heard of mirrors? Or would that not have avoided this particular problem.

And if not why not.

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What’s new in Office 2016 for Mac (and why it doesn't totally suck)

PhilipN

There is only one critical feature

Compatibility.

There is nothing MS can do to make me happier than to ensure 100 per cent compatibility between docx under Windows and docx under OS/X. Right now it may be 99.9 but that other 0.1 per cent is deadly to the point where I care absolutely nothing for anything else.

Otherwise, a handy little summary - thanks.

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Office for Mac 2016 Preview: This letter will self-destruct in 60 days

PhilipN

Re: NoW downloading

but so slow the 60 days will expire before the d/l completes

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PhilipN

Not downloading

I have been trying on and off for four hours and nothing happens.

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I, ROBOT ~ YOU, MORON. How else will automated news work?

PhilipN

Robo-journalism? Bring it on!

I do not see why anyone should be wary of AI. Look at the World. Human "intelligence" is a bloody sight scarier.

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To Explain the World, Girl in a Band and A Spool of Blue Thread

PhilipN

Well well well

Commentary on El Reg about Sonic Youth.

And knowledgeable commentary at that.

Thanks and - - kin' A!

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Russian revolution: YotaPhone 2 double-screen JANUS MOBE

PhilipN

I have one

Love it.

Incidentally works very well as a phone

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SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS that 2014 was record HOTTEST year? NO

PhilipN

Earth: hotter. Life expectancy: up.

There is a direct correlation between global warming and longevity, if your sample comprises news headlines.

I do not mind if someone pays me a LOT of money to establish this on a scientific basis.

Hell - pay me and I'll establish whatever you want!

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Mock choc shock: 3D candy printer is good news for sweet-toothed swingbellies

PhilipN

'Why?" "Because we can."

Any confectioner - or, come to think of it, housewife back when I were a wee laddie - could make attractive, edible - nay, tasty - shapes using one of those conical squirty things with a nozzle.

On the other hand, if I can get supplies from the chemical factory piped directly to a 3D printer at my home, and then "print" the same pre-packed junk which goes into my supermarket basket every week, I shall buy one.

It wouldn't surprise me if Tyson is working on the same thing with ground chicken.

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Norks' internet goes TITSUP in possible DDoS attack

PhilipN

Gag!

I am, and there must be many others here who are, sickened at the sight of that overfed monstrosity of a humanoid when the vast majority of his countrymen are undernourished and, at this time of year, freezing.

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Nunslinger, Yosemite For Dummies and Life Inside The Fall

PhilipN

National treasure?

I can just imagine MES's response to that. But he is, for good reason. 99% of today's bands could select six different sounds - riffs, chord progressions, snatches of melody, what have you - from any one of a large portion of The Fall's output and make at least 6 different tracks out of them. Not because today's bands are any good: because The Fall's output is endlessly and monumentally inventive.

Amen.

Alternatively just listen to Sparta FC or What About Us or a bunch of others and get your rocks off.

Good review - thanks

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Secretive Chinese smartmobe colossus Xiaomi is on WAFER thin margins

PhilipN

As a privately owned firm ...

...it is in their interests to show as little profit as possible.

Agree with first poster.

You do know the tax rates in PRC, don't you?

Plus a chunk of overhead will be going to .. cough cough .. friendly suppliers, who may be the boss's brother-in-law.

Any different in the Wild West?

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Linus Torvalds releases Linux 3.18 as 3.17 wobbles

PhilipN

Re: Linux future

I was thinking the same thing. I have to hand it to LT for riding the bronco for so many years and bringing it to such a level of usage and respect. I would not call all Linux developers prima donnas but some of them give the impression of being a rowdy bunch. That's an observation, fellas, not a criticism, and it may be a good thing as part of the bazaar, but every good CEO - especially those who are self-appointed - plans for his own succession.

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I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations

PhilipN

Groundhog Day

Easy. Time moving, but sideways.

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VINYL is BACK and you can thank Sonos for that

PhilipN

Vinyl introduces a lot of failings

Too bloody right! I love my vinyl but for example I have an early Dire Straits LP on which the groove is not properly centred. The music does not benefit from what sounds like a doppler effect as the needle veers half an inch this way and that each time the record goes round.

And on Jon Lord's Gemini Suite (original issue) I have never been able to get rid of what sounds like the second violins having a nice fry-up in the middle of the orchestra.

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