Feeds

* Posts by Tom Maddox

697 posts • joined 4 Jun 2007

Page:

Beer bottle shagging beetles with HUGE MEMBERS win prize

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

The Mayor of Vilnius

Hell, he's got my vote.

3
0

Faster-than-light back with surprising CERN discovery

Tom Maddox
Coat

How about divide by zero?

Have they disproven that one yet?

Right, I'm going, I'm going . . .

1
1

Memo to open source moralists: Put a sock in it

Tom Maddox
Stop

Thanks to your OVERUSE of ALL CAPS, I can't actually TELL if you're being SERIOUS. If you ARE, then I AGREE with your basic POINT, which is that MORALITY and RELIGION are not interdependent, but you come off sounding like a JACKASS. If you TROLLING by pretending to be an ATHEIST, then you actually ARE a jackass.

10
24

1-in-3,200 chance* that a fiery satellite chunk will hit someone on Friday

This post has been deleted by a moderator

NASA: Beam me up some power, Scotty

Tom Maddox

Unlike, for example, being strapped to several tons of continuously exploding rocket fuel? If you don't want to risk life and limb, perhaps being an astronaut is not for you.

1
0
Tom Maddox

No mention of sharks?

Anyway, this sounds like the perfect use case for nuclear energy. Assuming they get the basic tech figured out, a nuclear plant sounds like the ideal way of generating the required energy. If the Greens bitch about the nuclear plant, it can just be pointed out how much damage a conventional rocket launch does to the environment.

0
0

Netflix: How to completely screw up

Tom Maddox

"Is there some masterplan here we've missed?"

Possibly, but it better be one hell of a plan. The customer base is pissed, and the decision to split into two separate companies, in one stroke massively inconveniencing existing customers and eroding a pioneering and highly successful brand, simply boggles the mind. I suspect Netflix is bound to end up as someone else's subsidiary.

2
0

Kick! Bostock! out! too! demands! Yahoo! shareholder!

Tom Maddox

Don't! Worry!

You'll! Get! Over! It!

0
0
Tom Maddox
Angel

Maybe! You! Should! Read! A! Different! Site!

0
1

Windows Server 8 plays catch-up with VMware and Unix

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

Want

I'm sure there will be the usual assortment of Linux trolls posting here, but it sounds like the next version of Windows Server is going to make some major improvements, especially around virtualization, that will be a big help to Windows server admins. It also sounds like they'll be lighting a fire under VMware, which is no bad thing.

3
4

Google flight search engine lifts off

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Where?

1
0

Belgians aim to be third neutral-net nation

Tom Maddox
Joke

Belgium

I thought this was a family publication. How dare you use that sort of language!

1
0

Broadcom breaks piggy bank for $3.7bn NetLogic buy

Tom Maddox
Mushroom

Now you've done it.

"This is precisely why giving US corporations a tax holiday does not create jobs. In fact, you could make a fair argument that it will destroy a bunch."

This should earn you some opprobrium from the Nutsack--er, Teabagger brigade on El Reg. Hope you're wearing your asbestos underwear!

0
0

VMware 'to work with just five storage companies'

Tom Maddox
WTF?

While I partially agree . . .

. . . I'm not sure I see your point. Are you talking about the new pricing model or about the subject of this article? If the latter, what VMware is doing is actually a good thing because it allows the VMware administrator to virtualize storage more effectively. When combined with SDRM and SIOC, it gives the VMware administrator much more control over what disk performance is available to VMs, and it gives the hypervisor more ability to auto-tune storage distribution.

If your issue is with the storage "cartel" calling the shots, I have some news for you: this sort of thing is already happening. If you think VMware has not already been working with the major storage vendors to bake in advanced functionality, I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. Not, again, that doing so is a bad thing. From a VMware administration perspective, it would actually be great to hand vSphere a bunch of disks and allocate them directly without having to dick about with LUNs, NFS mounts, etc.

0
1

Microsoft Hyper-V floats Chinese military Linux

Tom Maddox
Joke

How dare you . . .

. . . introduce reason into a perfectly good Microsoft Hate Thread(TM)?!

2
5

Boffins build powerful yet 'table-top size' atom-smasher

Tom Maddox
Coat

Great timing!

I wonder if these guys will be at Burning Man?

0
0

Windows Phone may be cheaper than Android - Inq boss

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Not even trying

Come on, "WinCrap 7?" "MicroSuck?" You're not even trying! Here are some better alternatives for you to consider for next time around:

WinFaux

WinBlo

SinPho

WinGroan

WinMoan

And "Microsoft" of course has many of the permutations perfected by Slashdotters and other assorted basement-dwellers over the years:

Micro$oft

Microshaft

Microsloth

Micros~1 (for the old school)

Tsk. Kids today, no commitment to excellence or creativity when it comes to fanboy trolling.

5
0

German authorities park tanks on Facebook's lawn

Tom Maddox
Black Helicopters

The counterargument . . .

. . . is that it doesn't *have* to be that way. Back in the Internet's salad days, there were sufficiently few people using it that, if you talked to enough people, you could probably track down the real identity of an individual, but no one (except possibly the FBI) was explicitly gathering personal information. If you were an asshole in a moderated forum, you got banned, but you could easily come back with an alt. Facebook and Google are now working hard to tie your Internet identity to your real identity AND scarf up a mess of data about you. Exactly how bad that is depends on your perspective and what you personally get up to, but I don't think anyone would disagree that giant databases of information which can be used to tie up vast amounts of personal data which can then be used to identify the proclivities of specific individuals and/or commit crimes of data, identity, and financial theft and fraud constitute a tremendous risk to the people whose information in those databases.

The typical El Reg reader seems to be of the perspective that people who use Facebook or other social media (or indeed the Interwebs at all without 7 proxies and a pseudonym) get whatever they deserve. This perspective fails to acknowledge that most people are not aware of these issues to the same extend that most Reg commentards are and further does not address the fact that at least a subset of this information can be scarfed in by illicit/clueless Web programmers.

I personally try not to put anything on the Internet that I wouldn't want my mother to see, but not everyone is so careful. In any case, when one shares information with one's friends, one probably doesn't expect to see that information spewed out for the world to see, regardless of the content.

2
0

Hotboxer Xiotech drops the 'tech', goes all-caps

Tom Maddox
Joke

OBLIGATORY

SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE REALLY MAKES ME SICK, YOU TOFFEE-NOSED, MALODOROUS PERVERT!

0
0

Oxford adds woot! to dictionary

Tom Maddox
Gimp

Obviously

When you're sexting the Queen!

1
0

Gerard Depardieu takes piss on plane, gets tossed off

Tom Maddox
Headmaster

Ahem

I think you want, "Gérard n'aime pas de douches d'or?"

1
0

PETA to launch .xxx smut site 'to help animals'

Tom Maddox
Devil

Will we see . . . ?

Hot, nude models posing next to garbage cans filled with the corpses of animals that PETA has "rescued"?

2
0

Innocent passengers targeted to protest subway agency

Tom Maddox
Unhappy

Distortion of truth

These "protestors" are little more than a flash mob. If they want to protest, why not do so at BART HQ or at the BART police barracks? Why are they inconveniencing (or worse) people trying to get home, pick their kids up from school, get to work, go to the doctor, etc.? In case you're not aware, public transit is the transit system used by the working classes and other regular folks. If your goal is to change policy, protesting by shutting is going to turn public opinion AGAINST you.

Furthermore, it's actually a public safety issue. Much has been made of the hypothetical concerns about someone having medical emergency while cell phone services are shut down, despite there being clearly-marked emergency phones on the trains and platforms. Suppose someone has an emergency while the train is stopped in the tunnel because the protestors have managed to keep another train from leaving the platform? Where is your moral righteousness when you've killed someone who really IS innocent?

I won't deny that police brutality should be taken seriously or that people have the right to protest. On the flip side, the police have historically been very tolerant of protests in San Francisco. I marched in the anti-war protests before Gulf War II: Electric Boogaloo, and the only time the police interfered with us was when we tried to march onto the Bay Bridge, which would have created similar safety issues. I actually talked to a riot officer during one of the more recent protests, and he was remarkably calm about the whole issue. In my experience, the SFPD, at least, are not a bunch of truncheon-wielding thugs. BART police may be a separate matter, since they have less experience and training. As I mentioned originally, though, let us not forget that the person who got shot did so because he attacked another human being with a knife. Setting aside the knee-jerk issue of it being a cop, I think every human being has the right to self-defense and the use of lethal force where warranted. If someone is trying to end my life, I would feel completely justified in ending theirs.

Finally, I live in a neighborhood with a large number of homeless people and a large number of police officers. I've had to call the police on three separate occasions in response to assault, mugging, and a drunken hit-and-run driver who ran down a small child, so I very much appreciate the contribution the police make to my neighborhood. While I oppose excessive use of force, I do respect that they have to deal with the least-pleasant members of society, and I don't think they should have to lay down their lives so that some yahoo can go flailing around with a deadly weapon.

2
0
Tom Maddox
Thumb Down

Conversely

How do you justify cutting off someone's transportation? Suppose that person has a heart attack, and the train is stuck in the tunnel and can't get out because protestors are blocking the tracks ahead and behind? It hardly matters at that point if you have cell phone access because the person is physically trapped. Of course, there are physical emergency access corridors, but those take extra time to reach compared to the platform.

0
0
Tom Maddox
FAIL

Bah

The cretins supporting the drunken homeless knife-wielding lunatic don't have the attention span to plan an actual protest, so they complain when BART shuts down Wifi and cell access. The Anonytards then punish a few random BART riders, not BART itself. Great job, guys, really. You are truly the hope of freedom.

As a daily BART commuter myself, I'm on Team BART for this one and opposed to Team Drunken Asshat, in case that wasn't clear.

18
10

Police kill mobile phone service to squelch protest

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

I'm on Team BART

As a San Francisco resident, I'm not 100% on BART's side (the phrase "chilling effect" comes to mind), but mostly I support this course of action for two reasons:

1) The protestors are supporting a guy who assaulted a police officer with a knife. Suppose it had not been a cop but some random person who happened to catch the drunk's eye and gotten knifed for his trouble . . . would that person have been wrong to defend himself, even to the point of using lethal force? If you use a lethal weapon to attack someone, you are, in my opinion, implicitly placing your own life on the line--the victim always has the right to self-defense.

2) Most people who use cell phones on public transit are douchebags (no, I know that YOU'RE not, you're a world-renowned heart surgeon who can't possibly be interrupted for a few minutes; I'm talking about those OTHER people), so blocking their cell phone service for 5-10 minutes (about the length of time it takes to get through the affected area) is a mercy to the other passengers. If BART could figure out how to shut down the ability for people to play music on their cell phones' speakers, that would be even better.

For the most part, I call it a win-win.

0
1

Jeff Bezos patents retro jets, and airbags, for telephones

Tom Maddox
Devil

Even better

Have the phone deploy some sort of harpoon into the flesh of its owner and then reel itself back in. That'll be the last time the phone gets dropped, I'll bet!

2
0

Star Wars fans offered Blu-ray deals and previews

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

True

But only the first four are canonical.

0
0

Google+ succumbs to Facebook game envy

Tom Maddox
Thumb Down

Sure

But you have to do it with every single goddamn game out there. And then there's the Twitter crap, "Joe Blow likes scatology," etc. The real answer, from my experience is to install the FB Purity plugin.

1
0

Amazon paints the Kindle cloudy

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

The hell you say ...

A Web browser can be used for viewing text content offline? Who knew?

1
0

LinkedIn pulls Facebook-style stunt

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Hah

Amusingly, the Yahoo! version of this article is in the Top Headlines section on LinkedIn.

1
0

Nokia's software exits the US market

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

QFT

"The reality is . . . it doesn’t matter what we do."

1
0

SuperVisor: One hypervisor to virtualize them all

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

Well, obviously . . .

. . . it's an ultravisor. They should get UltraMan to do their commercials; I hear he needs the work.

More seriously, I got a promotional email from these guys, and I thought it was spam. Apparently, the formal product name is "HotLink SuperVISOR." I assume you yell the last part of the name and maybe pump your fist for good measure.

2
0

Windows Phone dev GM splits with Microsoft

Tom Maddox
Headmaster

ORLY?

My browser title bar says "News for the WORLD." Don't worry, you'll get over it.

0
0

EMF notches up another health-scare

Tom Maddox
Joke

Pfft

EMF? That's so 10 years ago! Chemtrails are where it's now, baby, chemtrails.

3
0

Firefox maker moves towards a browser-free world

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

Certainly

I think it would be a fabulous use of Mozilla's resources maintaining compatibility with a dead platform. Maybe they can also crank out an Amiga version or a BeOS (PPC, of course) version.

2
1

New tumor trial rules mobiles 'not guilty'

Tom Maddox
Stop

Phantom pager

I do have "phantom pager" syndrome, but I attribute that to the fact that my cell is usually carried at the same position on my waist and set primarily to vibrate.

As to the Web sites, without opening them I predict that they are mostly anecdata and scaremongering tabloid journalism.

3
0

W3C moves to snuff Apple web patents

Tom Maddox
Devil

That . . .

. . . and the deafening clicks of their down-votes.

5
0

Google's Facebook: It rocks, but who cares?

Tom Maddox
Devil

Well, that's a relief

Since Matt Asay is wrong about virtually everything, I think we can predict a roaring success for G+. I actually know quite a lot of mainstream individuals who are at least giving G+ a try. If Google can figure out a way to migrate pics and whatnot from Facebook, it's a slam dunk.

20
1

ARM daddy simulates human brain with million-chip super

Tom Maddox
Stop

I know, right?

They didn't make a complete neural network from scratch, they just built a system to simulate a small part of one, so this effort is obviously a complete failure. After all, if you can't succeed completely in a gargantuan task in one go, you might as well not even start it.

</sarcasm> for the <sarcasm>-impaired.

7
1

Deep inside AMD's master plan to topple Intel

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

. . . and other misconceptions

Are you sure there's not an "i" instead of an "o" in your last name?

1
0

Boffins build nanowire lasers from nappy-rash cream

Tom Maddox
Happy

Heck with that

Laser-bearing piranha!

1
0

Mozilla pushes out final Firefox 5 test build

Tom Maddox
Angel

Running 5 beta

I find the FF 5 beta to be faster and more stable than 4.0, although it still has some problems rendering pages that used to show up fine in 3.6 and which still show up fine in IE 9. AdBlock+ works better than in Chrome, though, and NoScript does what it should.

0
0

LulzSec hacks EVE Online as rampage goes on

Tom Maddox
Megaphone

Gorillas

"Get your filthy packets off me, you damn dirty apes!"

1
0

IO Turbine claims to turbo-charge storage I/O

Tom Maddox
Holmes

Sigh

Looks cool, but why do software vendors have to be so secretive about their pricing? I realize that they're probably charging so much that the sticker shock is literally terrifying, but really, can't we at least have a ballpark figure?

0
0

Fort Worth joins crusade against sagging pants

Tom Maddox
Go

Crack kills

I don't really think of the low-slung trousers look as a hipster thing, more of a gangsta(-wannabe) thing. Either way, I support this ban. Unfortunately, it would be unenforceable in my current city of residence, not because I think that the gangsta community is any great threat but because the bus drivers couldn't be arsed (pun intended).

1
1

Nokia: When pigeons fly home to roast

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

It. Was. Irony.

No actual body required.

0
0

Dell intros world's thinnest 15in laptop PC

Tom Maddox
Thumb Down

Bleah

No way to get it without Office 2K10, with a Windows edition other than Home Premium, or without Dell's crapware (McAfee, I'm looking at you). Nice design; shame about the software.

0
0

HP exec: WebOS tablet will trounce iPad

Tom Maddox
Go

@Robert

http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=angry+birds

0
0

Extragalactic black hole particle fountain awesomeness

Tom Maddox
FAIL

*Sob*

You couldn't just look it up, could you? Noooooo, you had to go and correct some poor sot . . . incorrectly. Chris Miller is correct in his spelling; you are not. The irony police will be around with bats and a chainsaw; if you must leave, please do so by way of the lumbermill.

0
0

Page: