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* Posts by Tom Maddox

732 posts • joined 4 Jun 2007

Boffing boffins create 3D map of orgasmic female brain

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Facebook disses Effin Irishwoman

Tom Maddox
Joke

Missing the obvious

I see that Facebook haven't banned Belgium, so their profanity filters are clearly deficient.

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Apache: Old, out of touch, but worth it...

Tom Maddox
Trollface

You can't fight the man if you use the man's infrastructure, man.

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Boffin's bot spots red light jumpers before they kill

Tom Maddox
Windows

I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

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Apple killer app Siri struggles with Indian regional accents

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

You forgot

"Sent from my iPhone"

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Rock star physicist Cox: Neutrinos won't help us cheat time

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

To recap about half of this thread . . .

"I know nothing about science whatsoever, but here's why learned physicists are wrong!"

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US quakes before MENACING TURKEYS, snow globes

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

Deep-frying the turkey is significantly faster and seals in the moisture. The only disadvantage I can think of is that you can't really make stuffing with a fried turkey.

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Tom Maddox
Devil

No, no, no. We only deep fry them, we don't stuff them with pizza, chocolate bars, haggis, or anything else first.

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Boffin's wall of BEES shields farms from stampeding elephants

Tom Maddox
Joke

One word

More bees.

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The top five spam subjects sullying inboxes

Tom Maddox
Trollface

I blame Microsoft

No particular reason--it just seems the thing to do.

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Nuclear power will let NASA Mars rover beat 1970s Soviet record

Tom Maddox
Coat

Idaho?

Are you sure it's not powered by potatoes?

Mine's the one with the Yukon Golds in the pockets.

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Punters hate copyright, says Steelie Neelie

Tom Maddox
Joke

Ahem

This is a UK site. If they want to pronounce "Neelie" with a long "e" sound, they're welcome to do so, just like they pronounce "pasta" with a short "a," "pass" to rhyme with "arse," and "Hermione" to vaguely rhyme with "calliope," they're welcome to do so. The British have been butchering the interpretation of others' languages for years (see also: Rangoon, Peking, etc.).

Don't worry, you'll get over it.

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Mysterious sat-pic China desert markings - EXPLAINED

Tom Maddox
Stop

Clearly . . .

"Speaking as somebody who's been working his very testicles off for the last month without a break"

. . . you've gone mad from overwork, because nothing you posted actually makes the least amount of goddamn sense.

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DARPA boffins develop unfeasibly light metal fluff-structure

Tom Maddox
Go

Thinking small

I'm curious about how strong this stuff is. Would it be possible to make airplanes or rockets partially or completely out of it or some analog?

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Obama says his birthplace is 'in Asia'

Tom Maddox
Joke

Idiot

Kenya is in Africa, not Asia.

In case you miss the icon: I. AM. JOKING.

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New human-brain chip can be adjusted for cannabis effect

Tom Maddox
Linux

Simultaneity

"When this happens, your brain remembers to do things, like duck a punch or keep your heart beating. (Often at the same time.)"

Initially read that as "punch a duck" and was forced to wonder what kind of activities Reg hacks get up to in their off-hours.

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Fedora 16: A GNOME lover's paradise

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

This just in . . .

. . . many modern computer users do enjoy using the GUI for many common tasks!

Ric Romero has more at 11.

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Virtualisation: just a lot of extra software licences?

Tom Maddox

This

Redundancy also makes no sense for any organization that is cost-conscious, by your friend's argument. Why spend that extra money on additional power supplies, cluster failover, etc. when you can just have everything in one box?

Back in the real world, properly-implemented virtualization allows for tremendous flexibility with less management overhead per physical device. It arguably requires greater up-front implementation costs and effort than a single box does, but it pays off in the long run for most shops.

As I've commented elsewhere, if you're not implementing virtualization, you're probably doing something wrong.

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Ex-Amazon EC2 wizard pinpoints where your cloud is crap

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

Good

Even in relatively small shops, finding products that can keep up with a bog-standard VMware vSphere deployment is hard enough. It's remarkable how few monitoring suites truly comprehend the cloud.

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Fusion boffins crack shreddy eddy plasma puzzle

Tom Maddox
Coat

You're

. . . a towel?

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Tom Maddox
Stop

I'm generally pro-solar, but . . .

"Put solar panels that create NO WASTE, and produce CLEAN ENERGY on your house. You will NEVER have an electric bill again, and if you produce enough energy you can charge it back to the grid, and GIVE the electric company a bill."

Fortunately for me, the solar panel fairy will just deliver these at no cost, and they certainly consume no energy or rare earths during manufacture, nor does their manufacture create toxic wastes. Also, like everyone on earth, I live in a place where the sun constantly shines throughout the year, especially cold winter months, without interference from clouds, fog, or building shadow AND have sufficiently exposed square footage to generate enough electricity!

"Most states will allow you to make up to $1000 a month or more charging electricity back to your local electric company. That's a $12,000 a year direct income that coupled with savings from not having an electric bill would net you around $15000+ yearly."

Well, this certainly seems sustainable. I'm certain that the power companies and governments will be very willing to maintain these subsidies indefinitely.

"We should give all the middle/poor class people solar panels so they can charge electricity back to their local electric companies. Give them electric cars too so that they never have to pay for gas, and make sure those cars have solar panels on them so they are always charging. The financial offset alone would dramatically help our economy."

I would be interested to see your specific calculations on these figures. I suspect I'll be waiting a while.

The problem is not that solar power is bad idea; there are many places on Earth where it makes a great deal of sense. The problem is that it is not feasible for all cases, and it certainly is not without its drawbacks. Your flavor of one-dimensional ranting screed does not help the cause.

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BOFH: Licence to grill ... stupid users

Tom Maddox
Holmes

Missing the point

For people who complain that this episode is the same as the last one, I recommend you look at the episode number, and then look at the URL for the page. Notice anything?

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New tap turns water into super-cleaning potion

Tom Maddox
Go

On the bright side . . .

. . . it's a mistake you only make once!

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Oracle gives Solaris 11 final spit and polish

Tom Maddox
Devil

Just popped in . . .

. . . to check on the frothing Matt Bryant hate-fest. Disappointed so far. Maybe he can't get his hate on for Oracle like he did for Sun?

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Hyperscale networks need holistic management

Tom Maddox
Go

This

Now find me a product that can do it decently without requiring a PhD and/or an army of configuration monkeys.

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The Register Guide on how to stay anonymous (part 1)

Tom Maddox
Headmaster

One correction

NoScript blocks all scripting by default, but it's very easy to unblock specific domains on a particular site. For example, on this page, I allow theregister.co.uk but block doubleclick.net.

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Adventures in Tech: Taking the plunge into IPv6

Tom Maddox
FAIL

The missing device

The device no one seems to think about is the one sitting in every office and hallway: the lowly printer. How many printers support IPv6? My home Lexmark does not, and I'm sure that most HP JetDirect adapters don't. Until that issue is fixed, I think we can safely assume that IPv6 will be at best a hybrid solution in most organizations.

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Samsung gets fast-track appeal on Tab injunction

Tom Maddox
Trollface

How long . . .

. . . before Apple patents the fast-track appeal?

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4chan founder bashes Facebook, Google+ on identity

Tom Maddox
Headmaster

I think you'll find

. . . that someone hasn't not thought of that already, in fact.

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Ubuntu Server 11.10 leaps onto OpenStack clouds

Tom Maddox
Devil

Geez, Matt, who pissed in your JavaBeans this morning?

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Dennis Ritchie: The C man who booted Unix

Tom Maddox
Joke

Stallman. Killed in the study by an irate fanboi with a hurled iPad.

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Royal Navy halts Highlands GPS jamming

Tom Maddox
Megaphone

Re: Huh

Oooh, a net! How fancy! Back when I was a lad, we would wade out and catch fish with our bare hands and then tear them open raw as the gods intended.

My family roamed the open plains, counting on our bearskins for warmth. Ever tried skinning a bear with your bare hands and curing the skin without fire? It ain't easy!

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NetApp's STEALTH launch of ONTAP 8.1

Tom Maddox
FAIL

You should know better

This is a release candidate, not a full release, hence the lack of announcement from NetApp. I imagine we'll hear more of an announcement when the release goes to general availability.

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Kapsalon v quesadillas

Tom Maddox
Devil

Yeah, it's already been said

But that is a wussy quesadilla. The local taqueria makes quesadillas with one gigantic flour tortilla (or you can get the quesadilla para dos with two gigantic flour tortillas), a mountain of cheese, salsa, avocado, sour cream (which I usually skip), and your choice of meats (my personal favorite being carne asada). The resulting construction, eaten wrapped up like a burrito, is greasy, filling, and delicious, especially after a night of hard drinking.

It's an axiom of food that the further you go from the source, the worse it gets, and this is most especially true of "commoner" food like standard Mexican fare (there are exceptions, of course, but they're rare), so expecting a decent quesadilla out of a Spanish/English collaboration does seem unreasonable. Get your man in San Francisco to FedEx you a quesadilla from El Farolito--the difference, even after being in transit, will be quite apparent.

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Beer bottle shagging beetles with HUGE MEMBERS win prize

Tom Maddox

Do you understand the concept of the Ig Nobel prize?

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Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

The Mayor of Vilnius

Hell, he's got my vote.

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Faster-than-light back with surprising CERN discovery

Tom Maddox
Coat

How about divide by zero?

Have they disproven that one yet?

Right, I'm going, I'm going . . .

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Memo to open source moralists: Put a sock in it

Tom Maddox
Stop

Thanks to your OVERUSE of ALL CAPS, I can't actually TELL if you're being SERIOUS. If you ARE, then I AGREE with your basic POINT, which is that MORALITY and RELIGION are not interdependent, but you come off sounding like a JACKASS. If you TROLLING by pretending to be an ATHEIST, then you actually ARE a jackass.

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1-in-3,200 chance* that a fiery satellite chunk will hit someone on Friday

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NASA: Beam me up some power, Scotty

Tom Maddox

Unlike, for example, being strapped to several tons of continuously exploding rocket fuel? If you don't want to risk life and limb, perhaps being an astronaut is not for you.

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Tom Maddox

No mention of sharks?

Anyway, this sounds like the perfect use case for nuclear energy. Assuming they get the basic tech figured out, a nuclear plant sounds like the ideal way of generating the required energy. If the Greens bitch about the nuclear plant, it can just be pointed out how much damage a conventional rocket launch does to the environment.

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Netflix: How to completely screw up

Tom Maddox

"Is there some masterplan here we've missed?"

Possibly, but it better be one hell of a plan. The customer base is pissed, and the decision to split into two separate companies, in one stroke massively inconveniencing existing customers and eroding a pioneering and highly successful brand, simply boggles the mind. I suspect Netflix is bound to end up as someone else's subsidiary.

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Kick! Bostock! out! too! demands! Yahoo! shareholder!

Tom Maddox

Don't! Worry!

You'll! Get! Over! It!

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Tom Maddox
Angel

Maybe! You! Should! Read! A! Different! Site!

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Windows Server 8 plays catch-up with VMware and Unix

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

Want

I'm sure there will be the usual assortment of Linux trolls posting here, but it sounds like the next version of Windows Server is going to make some major improvements, especially around virtualization, that will be a big help to Windows server admins. It also sounds like they'll be lighting a fire under VMware, which is no bad thing.

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Google flight search engine lifts off

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Where?

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Belgians aim to be third neutral-net nation

Tom Maddox
Joke

Belgium

I thought this was a family publication. How dare you use that sort of language!

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Broadcom breaks piggy bank for $3.7bn NetLogic buy

Tom Maddox
Mushroom

Now you've done it.

"This is precisely why giving US corporations a tax holiday does not create jobs. In fact, you could make a fair argument that it will destroy a bunch."

This should earn you some opprobrium from the Nutsack--er, Teabagger brigade on El Reg. Hope you're wearing your asbestos underwear!

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VMware 'to work with just five storage companies'

Tom Maddox
WTF?

While I partially agree . . .

. . . I'm not sure I see your point. Are you talking about the new pricing model or about the subject of this article? If the latter, what VMware is doing is actually a good thing because it allows the VMware administrator to virtualize storage more effectively. When combined with SDRM and SIOC, it gives the VMware administrator much more control over what disk performance is available to VMs, and it gives the hypervisor more ability to auto-tune storage distribution.

If your issue is with the storage "cartel" calling the shots, I have some news for you: this sort of thing is already happening. If you think VMware has not already been working with the major storage vendors to bake in advanced functionality, I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. Not, again, that doing so is a bad thing. From a VMware administration perspective, it would actually be great to hand vSphere a bunch of disks and allocate them directly without having to dick about with LUNs, NFS mounts, etc.

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Microsoft Hyper-V floats Chinese military Linux

Tom Maddox
Joke

How dare you . . .

. . . introduce reason into a perfectly good Microsoft Hate Thread(TM)?!

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