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* Posts by Tom Maddox

756 posts • joined 4 Jun 2007

How to simulate a light armoured vehicle

Tom Maddox
Stop

Re: some actual photos of the simulators themselves would help!!!!

The reason for the "lack of meat" may be in this sentence:

"But not too revealing – in order to write this story we had to agree to vetting by the Australian Department of Defence."

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Stuck in a dull conference? You need Verity's survival guide

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

Re: Can I suggest..

With the phrase "journey to the cloud" meriting a full -1.0.

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Japanese operator to test quake-proof floating phone-mast BLIMPS

Tom Maddox
Headmaster

Re: YEAH RIGHT

AndrueC, meet BIG DUMB GUY 555. He thinks his shtick is funny. So far, he's wrong.

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Microsoft scrapes Windows Azure name off cloudy kit

Tom Maddox
Stop

Re: emPHAsis on the Wrong syLLAble

"Read more on my blog"

How about . . . no.

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Boffins baking big-data single chip architecture

Tom Maddox
Mushroom

Re: – half an atomic layer of titanium – (?)

Simple, you just split the atoms.

What?

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The Pirate Bay cries foul over Pirate Bay copycats

Tom Maddox
Mushroom

Re: Ha, ha, ha, ha...

You, on the other hand, are my *least* favorite troll on the site.

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Finally, it’s the year of Linux on the desktop IPv6!

Tom Maddox
Go

DSL modems

I have installed custom firmware on my home router, so it now supports IPv6, but my DSL modem does not, so I would presumably have to tunnel IPv6 through an IPv4 connection, and I'm not sure there's even any point to that. I suppose I'll have to give it another go-round.

On the plus side, my printer's NIC died, so I no longer have to worry about IPv4 for that, clearing me to go IPv6 throughout the LAN.

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iTunes fanbois outraged by Apple's sex-life quiz probe

Tom Maddox
Headmaster

Re: Oh look! Another excuse to bash apple!

I believe the tone of the review may have had something to do with it. You'll have noted that El Reg often uses rhetorical devices like sarcasm and irony, the intent of which is frequently lost on Jobsian cultists, resulting in Aggravated Butthurt in the First Degree, from which Apple has clearly not recovered.

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Tom Maddox
Headmaster

Re: "I literally cannot choose from the 2nd set of questions, none of them apply"

And:

I'm excessively literal-minded, so I am unable to make up a memorable answer to any of these questions without having a nervous breakdown.

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Nokia, private equity chat about €200m bling phone firm sale

Tom Maddox
Go

Good, good

You are my very favorite troll on the whole site, not least because there are so many people who seem to miss what you're doing and thus get their Finnish panties in a wad. Normally I'm not in favor of trolling, but yours is just subtle enough that most people seem to miss it.

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Griffin Helo TC Assault

Tom Maddox
Black Helicopters

"Message for you, sir"

Sounds better than sending intra-office email, that's for sure.

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Google KNEW Street View cars were slurping Wi-Fi

Tom Maddox
Coat

Engineer Doe?

More like "Engineer Duh," amirite?

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'Geek' image scares women away from tech industry

Tom Maddox
Boffin

I await the many comments on this article which further demonstrate why there are so few women in IT.

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Report: Microsoft tried and FAILED to offload Bing on Facebook

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Re: If they really want better search results...

I just used both Bing and Google to look up two search phrases:

Bing gives crap results

Google gives crap results

The results are quite different, actually. Which one provides more *relevant* results depends on what you're looking for, I guess. Interestingly, this very article is sixth in Google rankings but does not appear at all on the first page of Bing results. What that means, I have no idea.

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Mobile phones still safe... probably

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

My god, you're right! No one ever talks about that stuff! Someone should be alerted, and Something Should Be Done! Maybe someone could form an organic food movement and press for the categorization and labeling of foods accordingly.

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3.2 billion pixel sky-watcher a step closer

Tom Maddox
Joke

Pfft

Everyone has been telling me how you need to focus on more than just the pixel count. Why don't they just have one of the ISS astronauts take a few pictures with an iPhone?

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Apple screws UK disties, punts just 13,000 iPads to channel

Tom Maddox
Headmaster

Re: El Reg is still smarting about Apple's refusal to have any official contact with them

Oh dear, I see you've misspelled "Apple is still smarting from El Reg's initial mockery, giving El Reg no reason not to continue sticking the boot in."

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Moody's downgrades Nokia to near-junk status

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

Re: Nokia will come good

Good, good, now reeeeeel them in . . .

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So what's the worst movie NEVER made?

Tom Maddox
Holmes

Re: skewed

"These polls are highly skewed by what kind of viewer responds."

The hell you say.

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Chinese coders beat all-comers

Tom Maddox
Holmes

Re: Dueling Headlines

China != Asia.

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Softphones strangled by smartphone battery life

Tom Maddox
Angel

Like this?

Yo dawg, I heard you like phones, so I put a phone on your phone, so you can phone while you phone.

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Judge: Checking Facebook at work is not a crime

Tom Maddox
Mushroom

Re: "We take no responsibility..."

Lighten up, Francis.

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Tom Maddox
Stop

Re: Sense as prevailed across the pond...

I would point out that you are referring to the Republic of Texas, not the USA. We take no responsibility for those yahoos.

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DoJ could start Apple ebook price-fixing lawsuit this week

Tom Maddox
Go

Re: Wholesale vs Price Fixing

One correction:

Apple say, "Sell via us, and you can set any price you like, as long as we get 30% and you sell no cheaper through any other outlet."

Publishers respond, "So, we can set our price at whatever we like, and we can use our deal with Apple as an excuse not to lower it for anyone? Done!"

Amazon: "Hey, what happened to our volume discount?"

Publishers: "You know, it's a real bummer, but we signed this deal with Apple, so we can't offer you lower prices anymore."

Amazon: "That's really going to cut into our sales of both ebooks and ebook readers."

Publishers: "Suck it, Amazon. Suck it long and suck it hard."

Ironically, if the publishers had just negotiated harder with Amazon in the first place, they wouldn't be in this situation.

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Nokia shares fall as it drops first quarter forecast

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

Re: The start of a beautiful friendship

Two people (so far) have missed the subtle irony in your post.

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Whisky IN SPAAAAACE: Zero-G Scotch is matured aboard the ISS

Tom Maddox
Windows

Re: mmmm.. whisky

Hell, it's 6:00 AM somewhere.

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RIM: BlackBerry sales to US gov still on the rise

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Welcome to The Register. Here's your hanky.

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Facebook accused of 'wanton' use of Canadian woman's pics

Tom Maddox
Thumb Down

Re: Facebook?

"I have literally no idea why anybody would want to use Facebook, ever.

That really should be an end to the matter. Off you go now."

Ah, it's the ever-popular geek fallacy of generalizing from one's own needs and desires. You prefer not to use Facebook, so everyone who uses it is an idiot. I'm sure that argument is very persuasive in real life.

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IPv6 networking: Bad news for small biz

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

Re: It's funny that....

You want to know how I know you didn't read the article?

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Use the holy word of God to stay secure online, says bishop

Tom Maddox
Angel

"Touched by his noodly appendage" would also be pretty secure. RAmen.

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Tom Maddox
Angel

Re: YHWH

"Please remain where you are. An angry mob will be around shortly to stone you to death."

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Man FLIES with Android-powered homemade bird wings

Tom Maddox
Go

Re: Not an iThing-

iCarus?

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Rogue IPO bureaucrats feel MPs' red-hot probe

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

Re: Mr

Quite right. Why, I remember my time in the gulags of Mountain View like it was yesterday: being force-fed energy drinks until my bladder ached and my eyes watered, geeks with neck-beards shrieking at me to "Kiss the penguin," and Sergei Brin himself screaming "BOOM! HEADSHOT!" at me endlessly and dipping his hideous, misshapen scrotum onto my forehead.

No, wait, none of that ever happened.

Get a grip, or at least a sense of perspective.

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Panic on the streets of Google+? Choc Factory hires Digg founder

Tom Maddox
Childcatcher

When I worked at Be, we had an employee-submitted list of failed slogans for BeOS. The two memorable ones which are apropos of Google+ were:

"BeOS: It sucks less than you might think."

Followed by (as the fate of the company became increasingly apparent):

"It doesn't suck less enough."

G+ definitely sucks less than you might think (far less than, for example, Facebook), just as BeOS sucked less than Windows or MacOS, but it doesn't suck less enough for people to make the move.

Meeeeeemories . . .

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Charge of the Metro brigade: Did Microsoft execs plan to take a hit?

Tom Maddox
Headmaster

Re: Why?

In fairness to Tzael, it was possible to disable Metro in the Developer Preview with a registry hack, which has now been disabled, so s/he may be operating on outdated information.

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Diablo III out on 15 May, pledges Blizzard

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Making of . . .

I can only assume that the "Making Of" video is non-stop footage of a bunch of geeks sitting in front of their computers coding away. That should make for some fun viewing at parties: watch your guests suddenly remember important dental or proctology appointments!

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4G hobonet stunt was riddled with flaws, doomed to ridicule

Tom Maddox
Alert

Re: Silly idea

Badgers.

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Megaupload boss: Site popular among US government users

Tom Maddox
Holmes

What to do

If only there were some large island nearby that had historically been used to exile criminals, perhaps Mr. Dotcom could be sent there for life and the US could be spared the effort of extradition.

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A sysadmin in telco hell

Tom Maddox
Joke

Re: Phew! (ahem...)

WHAT?! Since when?

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CIOs on the scrapheap - The Register wants your input for vox pop article

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Re: What's a CIO?

The feigned ignorance and implied superiority of "what's a . . . ?" decidedly lose their punch these days, as it really implies you are so profoundly stupid and lazy that you can't type it into a search engine.

For example: http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=cio

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Freedom-crushing govts close to ruling our web, fears FCC boss

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Re: Did I misread that?

No, they mean the Internet. You see, back in the Dawn of Time . . . no, you know what, go read a book, or even a Wikipedia article. Here's a hint, though: look up ARPAnet.

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Apple slaps mega-solar panel field on new ENORMO data centre

Tom Maddox
Thumb Down

Re: Solar = Joke

I was going to downvote you until your last sentence. Then I downvoted you anyway.

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Dwarf galaxy yields up middle-sized black hole

Tom Maddox
Coat

Re: Re: 290 Light Years Distant?

I just a whole galaxy. The whole thing!

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Cupertino to ban permissionless address book copying

Tom Maddox
Paris Hilton

Re: Oh it's you

Here's a question for the ages: is there such a thing as an anonymous sock puppet?

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FCC hangs up on 4G broadband biz LightSquared

Tom Maddox

Re: Re: For once, an FCC ruling with which I can agree...

In point of fact, this is not a case of bureaucrats interfering unnecessarily. This is a case of bureaucrats interfering exactly as they're supposed to, in order to prevent calamity and mayhem.

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HP gives sysadmins a little mobility

Tom Maddox
Gimp

Excuse me . . .

. . . that's "made love."

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IBM: We do server flash already...

Tom Maddox

No, no, no

This is all just so you can run Lotus Notes at speeds greater than a crawl.

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Barack Obama: Bland, predictable and cheesy ... on Spotify

Tom Maddox
Meh

It was reported some time ago in a newspaper editorial that virtually every member of Congress listed "The Sound of Music" as his/her favorite movie. The commenter went on to note that is was a sad state of affairs that either this was an accurate survey or that the members of Congress thought that's what the electorate wanted to hear.

That said, it would have been awesome if there had been some tracks from $MyFavoriteIndieBandBeforeTheyTotallySoldOutAndWentMainstream.

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Iran draws veil over secure internet access

Tom Maddox

Wait for it . . .

Cue the "Western governments are no better" comments in . . . dammit, too late.

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RIM's apps revolution swings on Blackberry 10

Tom Maddox

Java

Write once, run anywhere . . . no wait, rewrite from the ground up for new platform.

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