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* Posts by Tom Maddox

731 posts • joined 4 Jun 2007

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Big Blue Apple: IBM to sell iPads, iPhones to enterprises

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Here it comes . . .

. . . Lotus Notes for iOS. I expect the weeping and gnashing of teeth to begin anon!

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You don't need a HERO, you need a ZERO. From Google

Tom Maddox
Trollface

These are geeks . . .

"The group's manifesto is about as difficult to disagree with as . . . regular showers . . ."

So, highly objectionable to the geek community, then?

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Call girl injected Google exec with heroin, drank wine, left him to die – cops claim

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

@NomNomNom Re: she might have been hoping to get him hooked on heroin

Well played, sir. Well played.

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Amazon woos dispute-stung Hachette scribes with 100% ROYALTIES

Tom Maddox
Devil

Divide and conquer

So, basically, Amazon is trying to drive a wedge between the authors and their publisher by "offering the possibility" of 100% royalties. Fortunately, authors as a class tend not to be deeply stupid and so hopefully will see through this clumsy, offensive ruse.

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Use Tor or 'extremist' Tails Linux? Congrats, you're on an NSA list

Tom Maddox
Trollface

'Linux Journal, which the code calls an "extremist forum"' . . .

Sounds about right to me.

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Google BLOCKS access to Goldman client-leak email

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Re: "avoid reputational damage to Goldman Sachs"

Google "vampire squid" and get back to us.

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Running Cisco's VoIP manager? Four words you don't want to hear: 'Backdoor SSH root key'

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Re: Hang on a minute…

"Surely Cisco didn't do the dimwitted thing of embedding both keys?!"

Signs point to yes. At a guess, the private key is embedded in the management software and can be activated to log into the various other components of the Unified Communications kit, presumably without prompting for a password just for extra fail.

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What is ex-NSA spyboss selling for $1m a month, asks US congressman

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

Re: Tom Bollox WTF?

Oh, Matt, thank you for being so very predictable. You've really made my day!

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Tom Maddox
Facepalm

Re: WTF?

His evidence--stay with me here--is that the former head of the NSA just started a very expensive security consultancy when he, Mr. Former NSA Head, has no other particularly valuable knowledge apart from--wait for it--the inner workings of the NSA's highly-classified operations. Some people, I'm not saying me personally, but some people might find this fact a little bit suspicious.

Cue the usual ad hominem from Matt "I <3 Surveillance" Bryant in T minus . . .

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US Supreme Court: Duh, obviously cops need a warrant to search mobes

Tom Maddox
Stop

Re: Whereas in Blighty...

This is clearly impossible. I have it on the good authority of The Register commentariat that the United States is the worst country in the world (or indeed the history of the world) and certainly the only place where the government ever does anything pernicious with regard to the rights of its citizens. The Thought Police will be around to administer corrective treatment in the portable Maximum Fun Chamber.

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Microsoft gets the hang of funky devices: Xbox magic for enterprise

Tom Maddox
Windows

Re: is that the stench of a smokescreen I smell?

But you don't understand! If someone likes something I don't, that means they're a shill for the company that makes it! Obviously!

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Tom Maddox
FAIL

. . . or not

I recently had the opportunity to use a Surface Pro 2, and my impression is that it's quite zippy. Unfortunately, the screen is too small, the keyboard and trackpad are garbage, and Windows 8 . . . is Windows 8 (I quite like Windows 8 as a desktop operating system once I have effectively purged it of all the unspeakable "don't-call-it-Metro" crapola; ironically, I find it appalling as a tablet OS). $ork is contemplating replacing our laptops with Surface Pros, and there is precisely no way that's going to happen, since I have actual work I need to do. Even if someone gave me one for free, I'm not quite sure what I would do with it; all my non-work related portable content consumption is now done on my phone, and all my work is done on computers with real user interface peripherals.

Microsoft have never been cool, and their recent efforts to strongarm money out of their customers and plant the eye of Sauron in the living room seem clumsy and hamfisted. Their enterprise software and operating systems have drastically improved over the past decade (stop laughing, you there at the back), and they've pushed out occasional decent consumer products, but the overall corporate image is, well, at lot like this:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/01/03

I sort of want Microsoft to succeed, just for the sake of watching the Linux and Apple fanboys froth at the mouth, but even that perversity was not sufficient to make me actually buy a Lumia for my most recent smartphone.

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Apple files patent for camera lens controlled by 'artificial muscle'

Tom Maddox
Coat

Is this . . .

. . . the iEye? Aye!

Right, I'm going . . .

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Google to acquire satellite eye-in-sky Skybox for $500m

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

Re: Still "do no evil"?

Don't worry, your tin-foil hat will protect you.

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UK govt preps World War 2 energy rationing to keep the lights on

Tom Maddox
Stop

Re: Neither new nor concerning

Yes, we're fine here, you tit, thanks for asking. Not only is our power supply secure after divesting ourselves of the glorious guiding hand of the free market, we have reversed our budget deficit and are running a surplus. On the down side, conservatives like yourself have managed to stave off the inevitability of marijuana legalization and gay marriage because of their deep commitment to a smaller, less intrusive government.

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Redmond is patching Windows 8 but NOT Windows 7, say security bods

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Re: Or couldn't it just be

Right, because the only difference between any two operating systems is the kernel version.

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NSA: Inside the FIVE-EYED VAMPIRE SQUID of the INTERNET

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Came for Matt Bryant butthurt . . .

. . . leaving disappointed.

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Linux Foundation flings two full-time developers at OpenSSL

Tom Maddox
Holmes

LibreSSL

OpenSSL is ubiquitous, and upgrading is easier than replacing. I do agree that putting resources towards a competing package would be beneficial, but that would take twice the resources (or more), and it took a major vulnerability to get significant private-sector resources for OpenSSL at all.

Also, @DAM: Comic SAAAAAANS!

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Streaming brilliant: Netflix signs access agreement with Verizon

Tom Maddox
Stop

"Free speech": I don't think it means what you think it means.

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US Supreme Court to decide if cops can search mobes without a warrant

Tom Maddox

Re: Scope

I guess I'll find out next year. Or maybe I had to do it last time and forgot . . . because I don't see the big deal in a single thumbprint for verification of your identity for legally valid identity documentation. It's not like they're asking for a full ten spread and a cavity search, and I'm kind of happy that there's some kind of verification that the Tom Maddox (not an uncommon name) who was issued a driver's license is, in fact, me.

But hey, oh noes, the gubmint is overreaching and all that.

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Tom Maddox

Re: Scope

"Except in states like the DPRC a.k.a. California where anyone with a state issued ID, transferred property or a whole list of other circumstances where Cali requires getting a print."

Loosen the tinfoil hat, Eddy. The only time I've had to get fingerprinted in California was when I had to get something notarized, and that's a single thumbprint for purposes of verifying identity.

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FCC seeks $48K fine from mobile phone-jamming driver

Tom Maddox
Stop

Re: Decision time?

@poopypants: False equivalency. Fifteen-yard penalty for blatant logical fallacy.

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Firefox, is that you? Version 29 looks rather like a certain shiny rival

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

My observations

The UI changes are really disruptive . . . if you have no tolerance whatsoever for change. On the plus side, the page rendering seems dramatically faster, just based on my subjective experience. The update does seem to have broken the StatusBar4Evar add-on, so we'll see if I can live without that.

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Brit IT workers are so stressed that 'TWO-THIRDS' want to quit

Tom Maddox
Facepalm

Re: although anyone familiar with IT types might...

I was not aware that "IT people" were a race, so thanks for clearing that up for me. Also, there's a reason you never see a Reg headline like Socially Maladroit Geek Butthurt About Being Mocked, and that's because it's not news.

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Tom Maddox
Happy

Re: Public v Private Nonsense

BLASPHEMER! Stone him! STONE HIM!

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Startup CEO Chahal fired for domestic violence incident

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Re: lovely

"Not to sound bigoted here, but there's nothing wrong with giving someone a slap now and then if they deserve it."

Yes, there is. The entire drive of civilization is away from just this attitude and towards resolving conflicts peacefully. The fact that one person feels he has been wronged by another does not give him the right under law or morality to visit violence upon the other party. From both moral and legal perspectives, the only acceptable use of violence is to prevent harm. Not having seen the video or heard testimony, I have no idea whether the accused assailant is actually guilty, but, if so, he was certainly not acting out of any consideration but his own petty, jealous rage.

As for you personally, I'm sorry that you were raised in such primitive conditions and that your upbringing continues to shape your perspective the way it does. As a society, we need to do better so that more people like you are not created.

"I am not in possession of all (or any) of the facts."

Clearly.

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Microsoft: The MORE Surfaces it sells, the MORE money it loses

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Re: Ah Gavin,

@localzuk: Crap, you're right, I misread the article myself. Sorry for being a condescending douche, in that case.

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Tom Maddox

Re: Ah Gavin,

So, to recap the article, which you clearly didn't read:

Microsoft lost $45 million due to $300 million in losses from selling Surface. In short, Surface losses ate up all of Microsoft's profits and then some. Do you understand?

"So! Long may the Surface lose money for Microsoft. And hopefully, long may its app store make it plenty instead."

The very existence of Microsoft fanboys is puzzling to me. Why do you care whether Microsoft, the company, is successful? Surely the company should stand or fall on the quality of its products; why do you identify with them to the point that you care about the company as an entity?

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Tom Maddox
Headmaster

Re: Ah Gavin,

None of which changes the facts that they lost money, which is big news in itself, and that the Surface Pro 2 sales are in the toilet and are dragging down Microsoft's profitability. Don't let facts get in the way of your blinding fanrage, though.

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Teen student texter busts 20-second tongue-twisty SMS barrier

Tom Maddox
Headmaster

Given that you managed to misspell "sentence" in your post, I'm somewhat dubious about your claim.

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So far, so SOPA: Web campaigners to protest world's biggest ever free trade deal

Tom Maddox
Thumb Up

Re: I'm surprised.

Excellent Matt Bryant impression!

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Apple stuns world with rare SEVEN-way split: What does that mean?

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Re: Yes, but...

Well, it's issued rolled-up on a cardboard tube, if that's any hint.

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Got Windows 8.1 Update yet? Get ready for YET ANOTHER ONE – rumor

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Re: If I were MS, I would be much bolder and replace icons with tiles.

9/10 -- Obvious, but you got plenty of bites, so congratulations!

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A premium smartie lump: Oppo N1 CyanogenMod Edition

Tom Maddox

Re: Nope

This. The deciding factor between the HTC One and Galaxy S4 was the ability to add an SD card. I went with 64 GB initially, but I'll probably go with 128 when the price comes down.

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MIT boffins moot tsunami-proof floating nuke power plants

Tom Maddox
Go

Re: Security risks

I'm sure they'll listen to Reason.

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Budge up VMware, array upstart Tintri's ramming in Red Hat Linux KVM

Tom Maddox
Go

Sure . . .

. . . but the marketing guys have to justify their existence somehow. "It's fucking awesome, and now it works with Red Hat!" doesn't make good marketing copy. Also, it seems pretty clear that Tintri is doing something with the hypervisor (probably pulling in latency stats and other metadata about the VMs), so it's not as simple as just presenting an NFS export, and Tintri does have to make it clear that you can use a single VMStore with multiple hypervisors.

I would like to see Tintri make more of a big deal about the fact that they tell you how much capacity you can use instead of telling how raw capacity you get. One of the things that drives me nuts about certain incumbent storage vendors is that their cost per gigabyte is grossly understated when you figure out how much of that capacity you actually get use out of.

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Puff on a hybrid – next thing you know, you're hooked on a public cloud

Tom Maddox
Mushroom

It'll have to come down a lot

We just ran a cost analysis of the price to migrate to AWS, and it ran to significantly more than our annual cost to support our environment, plus we actually own our servers, storage, networking equipment, etc., so we get long-term value out of that capital investment as opposed to paying year-on-year for a service which can be turned off at any time. Not to say that cloud services can't be valuable, but sometimes it's worthwhile to make the investment in capital and expertise.

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Innovation creates instability, you say? BLASPHEMY, you SCUM

Tom Maddox

Re: Spaniard

My question would be, who are Had and Spaniard? Is this some UK auditing firm I'm unfamiliar with?

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Anatomy of OpenSSL's Heartbleed: Just four bytes trigger horror bug

Tom Maddox
FAIL

Re: OpenSSL is open source, most financial institutions don't use open source encryption.

I'm not even sure where to start on how this is wrong. Let's break it down:

OpenSSL is security library which is used in a number of products, some of which are "open," (openssh, Apache httpd) and some of which are proprietary (Juniper SSL VPN), and you can bet your biscuits that just about every major organization has OpenSSL deployed somewhere.

Verisign is a certificate authority. All it does is provide signed certificates (unless they have some proprietary security package I don't know about), which is irrelevant to this vulnerability.

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Puking! protester! forces! Yahoo! 'techie! scum!' to! ride! vile! bile! barf! bus! to! work!

Tom Maddox
Flame

Blame Mountain View

It's interesting to me that San Francisco city government gets all the blame for the terrible state of transit in the Bay Area, when the suburban/commercial sprawl of Silicon Valley is largely to blame. Cities (and I use the word advisedly) like Mountain View, Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, etc. have restricted zoning so that the only possible construction is comparatively low-density, ensuring that housing prices remain high and traffic remains awful. If one wants a certain sort of amenity, for example great food, clubs, or a decent a bar scene, one has to go to San Francisco, Oakland, or Berkeley; there's simply none to be found in points south. Having a higher population density, especially of young, single people, would stand a better chance of creating a market for such things and thus encouraging people to live closer to their work. As it is, if Silicon Valley workers want to have fun after hours, they pretty much have to live far from work or commute to where the fun is. San Francisco's politicians should lean on the other cities throughout the Bay Area to step up and make themselves enjoyable to live in.

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LaCie adds fire to Fuel: Revs Wi-Fi external storage gadget to 2TB

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Re: Wot?

Why bother?

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Satisfy my scroll: El Reg gets claws on Windows 8.1 spring update

Tom Maddox
Stop

Re: As if this will make people happy!

I'm not sure whether to go with, "Lighten up, Francis," or "Calm down, Beavis," as both seem applicable.

Anyway, there are a few points that you fail to address, ones which I've made before, and which the rabid MS fanboys can't seem to grasp:

The main problems with the Start screen are:

1) It is non-hierarchical; i.e., everything in creation gets splattered all over the screen. When an application installs multiple shortcuts, it's nice to have them associated with that application, not put on the top level by default.

2) It is unsorted and unsortable. I find it logical to sort things in some kind of order, say alphabetically, automatically, without having to shuffle everything around by hand.

3) It is hideous. This is, of course, a subjective viewpoint, but the default available color schemes are wretchedly ugly.

Now, to address the inevitable counter-points:

1) Yes, I know you can re-arrange icons by hand. That's fine when you have only a few applications, but I have dozens of applications with probably over a hundred icons among them. Some sort of default order is called for.

2) I don't care whether my complaints seem like minor objections to you. They constitute a non-trivial impediment to the optimal setup of my primary workspace.

3) I also know that you can install programs to return the Start menu to its pre-Win8 configuration. The availability of those programs does not negate the criticism of the Windows 8 Start screen; if anything, they support the criticism because they indicate that there is a significant market for the return of the old configuration.

Apart from those points, you make repeated references to using keyboard shortcuts on a touch-screen interface. If you fail to see the irony here, you are beyond help.

Finally:

"Shame on the fucking lot of you."

Bite me, fanboy.

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Tegile's tech trajectory: All-flash function in hybrid mutant body

Tom Maddox

Competition

I'm not sure that I see Tintri as a competitor to Tegile. They're both hybrid storage, true, but Tintri is purpose-built for virtual machine storage, and Tegile is presumably for general-purpose block storage. Tintri would arguably not be suited for high-volume, high transaction workloads. Conversely, the other vendors are right in Tegile's sights, although Nimble is arguably lower-end as an iSCSI-only array. EMC and NetApp, on the other hand, are ripe for the picking, since they have both failed to deliver a really compelling hybrid storage product so far, and most pure-play flash storage is still too expensive for people who need high capacity. I think Tegile's approach is pretty compelling, although, as always, one has to discover how the product performs in the real world.

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'Mommy got me an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000 for Xmas!' South Park: Stick of Truth

Tom Maddox
Mushroom

Girls

"Just saying, but it would have been nice to play a girl as I am like, you know, a fucking girl."

This is clearly impossible, as I have it on good authority from the Reg commentariat that women (or girls) do not and should not use computers and should instead be where they belong, taking care of the kids and making chicken pot pie for the menfolk. I refer you to any comment thread involving Marissa Meyer's pregnancy or any reference whatsoever to feminism. Exceptions possibly made for dead women such as Ada Lovelace and Grace Hopper.

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Chillax, cranky commentards: Anger can KILL YOU

Tom Maddox
Gimp

Re: Who gets emotional over text?

"Just remember that I am allowed to point out the stupidity of said commentardery, if and as needed, in my opinion."

Quid pro quo, Clarice. Quid pro quo.

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Tom Maddox
Facepalm

Re: Who gets emotional over text?

Who gets emotional over movies? They're just images on a screen.

Who gets emotional over plays? They're just dressed-up people on stage.

Who gets emotional over spoken words? They're just noise coming from the flapping gums of your inferiors.

Meanwhile, back on planet Earth, it turns out that human beings communicate with each other through a variety of media, of which the "written" word (now taking the form of text on screens as well as ink on paper) is but one. PROTIP: people often have emotional reactions to things they read, regardless of the specific medium via which those words are conveyed.

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Bill Gates is BACK... as CHIEF RICH human of PLANET EARTH

Tom Maddox

"his donations are inextricably tied to those receiving countries being forced to accept and purchase Monsanto products"

[citation needed] (Difficulty: may not reference naturalnews.com)

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Something rotten stalks the Cloud Kingdom

Tom Maddox

The point Trevor is making, a point which is understood by everyone except for you and the one nincompoop who upvoted you, is that the license structure is so confusing that it is applied arbitrarily, meaning that the licensing is whatever the local enforcer wants it to be.

Also, when your licensing is so complex that you need a course to understand it, free or not, you have crossed a line into madness (or Sadness, as the case may be).

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Facebook pays $19bn for WhatsApp. Yep. $45 for YOUR phone book

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Re: why didn't the just buy Blackberry?

Because people actually use WhatsApp?

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Snapchat bug lets hackers aim DENIAL of SERVICE attacks at YOUR MOBE

Tom Maddox
Trollface

Old man yells at cloud

I believe this is where the Internet Geezer Squad (TM) piles on with comments such as "I don't even know what Snapchat is," "only loosers (sic) use social media," and "Ha, my trusty Nokia 6810 is unaffected!"

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