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* Posts by _RCH_

311 posts • joined 22 Sep 2010

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Google outlines research priorities for boffin grants

_RCH_
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\O/ Freedom \O/

"The Chocolate Factory still ranks freedom of speech and expression"

Just don't ask it to acknowledge the existence of your website if you say something it doesn't like.

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DAYS from end of life as we know it: Boffins tell of solar storm near-miss

_RCH_
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We just have to get to Iapetus, reactivate the darned thing and, bing-bong boom-shakalaka, we have a Death Star. Job done.

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Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!

_RCH_
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They're going to start a new lizard-based civilisation on a far and distant planet. However, after some time, a group of them (led by The lizard Hon Rubbard) will start a belief system that insists some of them are secretly mammals living in Lizard Skin.

That's what will happen, and watch out when Com Truise, a famous all-action Lizard decides to take on the universe.

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Super Cali optimistic cloud is now a focus – even though the sound of it is something quite

_RCH_
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Pint

Headline

'Nuff said

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It's Google HQ - the British one: Reg man snaps covert shots INSIDE London offices

_RCH_
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Did they show you the room that contains the souls of all the grandmothers that have been sold to Google in order to obtain 'free' services?

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Hacker claims breach of Wall Street Journal and Vice websites, punts 'user data' for sale

_RCH_
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Gimp

Choice of Apps?

He uses Apple's Numbers? What's wrong with the jabroni?

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Apple orders huge MOUNTAIN of 80 MILLION 'Air' iPhone 6s

_RCH_
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"Incredibly hard, long bulges in fanboi pockets this year"

You probably think that's funny don't you?

;)

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

_RCH_
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".. The hand ends up on a desert planet where it is eventually discovered by the characters played by Daisy Ridley and John Boyega, the latter of whom is a renegade Stormtrooper."

I have a bad feeling about this.

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Spinning SPACE DUCK is comet-chasing Rosetta probe's PREY

_RCH_
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That's no duck...

It's a space station.

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NUDE SNAPS AGENCY: NSA bods love 'showing off your saucy selfies'

_RCH_
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Black Helicopters

Look over there!

"... but don't forget to use special offer code SNOWDEN7 for 25% off your first year and rest happy that your files are safe and secure with Spideroak"

Unless Snowden is a plant and Spideroak is what the NSA wants you to use!

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PICS: Nokia Lumia 930 – We reveal its ONE unique selling point

_RCH_
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Are you sure about that?

"(you can’t switch back to the traditional Windows Phone two column view)"

I'm not sure that's strictly the case, if you go to Settings -> Start + Theme and scroll down, there's an option there to switch to the old view.

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Microsoft takes on Chromebook with low-cost Windows laptops

_RCH_
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Holmes

Re: One of the reasons I moved away from my Mac

@Jess

"However, the likely failure is either the harddrive or something else" -- Yesssssssssssssss

Anyway, artificial? Let's see if I can put this in terms you'll understand;

I had one MacBook and my fear was that if this one MacBook broke beyond repair, in order to do my computery things, I would have to pay a premium to buy a new one (and your solution of having a separate Linux machine as a standby sounds like a desperate argument to prove I'm an Apple hater). With me so far? Right? I just didn't want to be without a computer that I could use.

So, because I didn't want to have to fork out a lot of money for a new Apple computer, I decided not to rely on one any more.

Don't take it personally just because someone said they didn't stay with a Mac. It's not an insult against you, actually it wasn't even an insult against your computer. If anything, it was an insult against me because I don't have a job where I can afford to poop MacBooks from out of my bottom.

There, are we Ok now?

Good.

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_RCH_
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Windows

I've not had any problems at all with Windows 8, even on low powered machines, but I know I'm one of those rare cases who actually likes those tiles'n'all.

These low powered machines sound like a good backup plan. One of the reasons I moved away from my Mac was the worry that if it broke beyond repair then I would have a helluva lot of money to spend for even a simple means of accessing my data in a meaningful way. To have the option of a low cost solution is a nice safety net, even if for a short term.

As for Chromebooks, I admit that I don't get (or 'grok') them at all. I don't see them as powerful or even versatile enough to be of any use without an internet connection and that is a very big deal for me. But, the fact that so many people are buying them tells me that the issue must be mine and not theirs (unlike Beverley 'phoar' Crusher who once said "If there's nothing wrong with my mind there must be something wrong with the universe").

It's one thing to use the cloud, but it seems to me that to depend on the cloud for day-to-day operations is opening up too many process weaknesses.

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NASA: ALIENS and NEW EARTHS will be ours inside 20 years

_RCH_
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Black Helicopters

I can't wait to see the artists' impressions of what life might look like when we 'discover' that it's out there. They're always hilarious and remind me of the paintings made by people in the dark ages of what monsters dwell in far off lands (history always repeats itself, no matter how sophisticated we think we've become).

What would be really interesting though is if we are suddenly able to tune into their TV stations, assuming they haven't encrypted their broadcasts to the point where they're of no use to anyone without their DRM.

Another thing I find amusing is the assumption that aliens will be nice because they will have grown out of their violent ways (assuming that good always wins and that the races we find aren't the ones who managed to slaughter everyone else into obscurity) and evolved into interplanetary tree-hugging botanists.

Black helicopter because...... THEY'RE ALREADY HERE!!!!!!!!!!

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Child diagnosed as allergic to iPad

_RCH_
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Looks like an apple a day won't keep the doctor away in this case. Now, back to the studio...

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New leaked 'Windows 8 screenshot': The Start Menu strikes back

_RCH_
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I get on very well with Windows 8 and actually really like the tiles start screen. Part of this may be because I know that if I can't find something then I just start typing a word (such as 'excel' or 'sql') then the apps will appear and I can quickly create shortcuts, which is another side of it, I've customised the Start Screen to be what I want.

Perfect for me.

On the other hand, moving and resizing tiles doesn't feel as natural as dragging and dropping icons on a desktop so organising the Start Screen may not be something with which our parents or grandparents would be immediately happy -- but they're all using iPads anyway so maybe it doesn't matter.

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Apple: No, China. iPhone is NOT public enemy number 1

_RCH_
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Big Brother

"Without your consent"

Apple doesn't need consent - it knows what people wants and goes ahead and does it while its users roll over and joyfully let their bellies get tickled.

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Popular password protection programs p0wnable

_RCH_
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Sharing schmaring

I never have been able to make sense of this obsession with sharing. It seems that every app in the world has to have an option to share something or other and makes a big deal about it. Evernote went on and on about how you could share your notes with Facebook. Is that something that's going to be used THAT often? OneNote on Windows Phone seems to think you're more likely to want to share your notes than format them. LastPass also bigs up sharing.

No. I don't want to share personal stuff.

Also, access to websites such as LastPass should always be two-factor (but not the PayPal way because that's just silly).

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'The writing is TOO SMALL': MPs row over Parliamentary move to Office 365

_RCH_
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Facepalm

Really?

"He didn't expand on this, and was interrupted by Robert Halfon, a Conservative MP for Harlow, questioning why PICT did not migrate to Gmail "which is completely free" and Google Docs."

The icon says it all.

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Get ready for LAYOFFS: Nadella's coma-inducing memo, with subtitles

_RCH_
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Paris Hilton

I've always found that nothing makes me feel quite to enthused about my job as when someone says there's going to be a massive restructuring and refuses to comment on layoffs.

Boy does that make me feel great.

Paris: Because she's laid off a few people in her time.

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Satya Nadella: Microsoft's new man presses all the old buttons in LONG memo

_RCH_
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Paris Hilton

Logo!

If Microsoft is going to change so much, they'll need a new logo.

Paris: Because she's opened many a window in her time.

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LG unfurls flexible SEE-THROUGH 18-inch display

_RCH_
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Re: Fit inside double glazing windows

"Downside - the image would also be visible to those outside which might restrict viewing subjects a little."

Not to much of a problem. As I walk around where I live there are houses where the TVs are so enormously mahoosive, I don't know if the inhabitants are breaching some kind of pubic broadcast law. I'm sure the sheep from across the valley are keeping up with events in Eastenders.

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El Reg nips down IKEA's 'I've Got A Screw Loose Street'

_RCH_
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I wonder if maps of the shop make it unclear which way is up?

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Apple rats on Google to FTC: You thought WE were in-app-ropriate?

_RCH_
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Unhappy

It's a trap

You only need one spoiled brat in a school who has parents willing to pay for the extra lives, decorations, credits etc and boom, all the other kids need to keep up. More skint parents, more rich companies who make more money from giving away 'free' apps than they do selling them.

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'Ribbed' for your pleasure: Jony Ive unveils NAKED IPHONE

_RCH_
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Now you will be able to enjoy the sight of components that amount to around $200 after paying a 'little premium' for them.

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Think Google Glass is creepy? Wait until it READS YOUR MIND

_RCH_
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FAIL

As if self-obsessives weren't already convinced their every move matters to the Twittersphere (yes, I used that word), they will soon imagine we want to know every brain-fart their wonderful minds generate.

So, who reckons Scoble will be the first to publish his brainwaves?

OTOH: Useful for disabled people to control TIOT, but we know that the original good purpose of a technology is often not enough to stop it from being ruined by morons.

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Google YouTube U-turn: Indie music doomsday 'postponed'

_RCH_
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" Instead the videos will no longer be a part of their 'Partner Program' - meaning they won't be able to monetize them for as much (if at all)."

Phew, that's Ok then. As long as Google gets its money and we get our videos, the indie labels can go do *%^" themselves. After all, why should they get anything anyway? They should be paying Google for the privilege!

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Panic like it's 1999: Microsoft Office macro viruses are BACK

_RCH_
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Users, Who'd have 'em.

That's the problem with macros and VBA scripts, so phenomenally useful for enabling and automating processes within a business but also dreadfully open to abuse.

If people could just think before enabling macros on a document, a lot of this trouble could be avoided. The problem is, however, there is still a substantial number of users who wouldn't even know what a macro is, think it's probably a necessity and so just turn it on, 'just in case'.

Sadly, despite all the warnings that Microsoft puts on its Office products when a potentially threatening file is opened (and these warning are a pain if you don't want to see them), the 'Just In Case' scenario for many users is still to enable the code.

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That AMAZING Windows comeback: Wow – 0.5% growth in 2015

_RCH_
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@AC: A bit like an old felt tip pen that's been pressed too hard by a four-year-old, your comment doesn't seem to have a point.

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_RCH_
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One thing that if going against Microsoft is that players are getting away with behaving in a way that got Microsoft hauled over the coals and utterly wing-clipped a decade ago.

One thing in Microsoft's favour, however, is that the shine is coming off of Apple products as people are beginning to realise that they're over-priced devices with normal functionality and that Android is the new virus-magnet.

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Fridge hacked. Car hacked. Next up, your LIGHT BULBS

_RCH_
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I think it's probably safe to assume that anything that comes close to one's internet connection can be hacked.

Surely a super-efficient way for any power or authority to gain access to the private lives of the people is to make them want it, make them pay for it and make them love it.

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iWatch watch: Apple tags sales bod from luxury Swiss watch firm

_RCH_
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I was wondering if the Apple watches may be charged via USB and kinetically, but then again, the technology to reduce the chances of overcharging might be too big to fit into a watch.

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Report: UK.gov wants to legislate on comms data BEFORE next election

_RCH_
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"... and your favourite 'celebrities' will be excluded from monitoring"

You're right, but then again, we trust our celebrities to be wholesome and no threat to anybody for a reason; they are the most amazing and trustworthy people in the world and are especially safe to perform in Children's TV, with children! Who can name one celebrity who could possibly have a nefarious past? No? I thought not. Celebrities are great, lovely and totally harmless....

... or maybe there's a reason celebrities won't be scanned? Have they got something to hide?

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Royal Navy parks 470 double-decker buses on Queen Elizabeth

_RCH_
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Coat

I hope defence cutback won't mean spunking that much money over a ship results in reduced seamen.

I'm sorry.

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Is there too much sex and violence on TV?

_RCH_
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Meh

Slightly missing the point

Q: Is there too much of what you want on the telly?

A: Duh!

"increasingly tolerant of sex, violence and bad language" -- I disagree since the way I see it, our culture is programmed such that this is closer to the truth: "increasingly demanding of sex, violence and bad language".

All the most popular shows have at least one these three key ingredients and even shows which have historically been for youngsters are increasing in these ingredients (for example, Doctor Who - not a criticism, just an observation).

Any show that doesn't have these is considered boring, sterile, dull, unrealistic, unrepresentative, uninteresting, unfunny.

There's no room today for "those good old fashioned values on which we used to rely".

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EPIC FAIL, FACEBOOK: FTC complaint against creepy mind games filed

_RCH_
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Trollface

"We were wrong and we're sorry that we upset you" -- Wrong, that is exactly what they wanted to do (and for the record, they also tried to make some others happy).

Do we honestly think that Facebook is the only organisation that deliberately attempts to manipulate our feelings? Manipulation like this is the core of how our culture works and (especially) how our economy. Think about those charity adverts on TV which talk about suffering children in Syria or sick children in Great Ormond Street Hospital: They're not going to be getting any (or at least very little) financial support if their TV slots were full of laughing and fun times. They need to make people feel sad about what we see on the screen (I'm not being cynical about this, we need bad news in life in order to make decisions for the better).

However, the government depends on invoking fear in order to get away with removing certain freedoms. Much of the green movement depends on fear (of the consequences of our carbon-vomiting actions) and guilt (for being such carbon-vomiting gits).

Businesses and government and all manner of (non government) organisations depend on being able to manipulate our feelings, all that's happened here with Facebook is that we found out about it.

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Microsoft confirms Office 365 price rise

_RCH_
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This isn't awesome, but it isn't any more of a hook than when a company decides to use SQL Server or any other lower level service -- the prices go up because the hassle of moving away is so bad it'd make a man's balls ache.

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BBC offers briefest of teasers for the next Doctor Who

_RCH_
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Re: Looks like...

Of course, it helps them sell more toys if they can change everything all the time... Kind of like a new iPhone upgrade; "Mummy! Mummy! I've got to get the new TARDIS Console Room! Please!?"

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DOH! Google’s internet of things vision is powered by… Mac OS

_RCH_
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Pint

Whenever I've seen a Google-bot on the telly or in a photo, they're always using Apple machines so no news there, in fact, the same applies for Channel 4 News (anyone else noticed that everyone they interview or visit, even hard up homeowners, use Apple machines?)

But this post does raise an interesting question; Microsoft employees are expected to use Windows in demos and Apple employees are expected to use OS X or iOS, so one would expect that if Google does have an OS that runs on a laptop, why aren't they using it?

Maybe they wanted to be able to use it while not connected to the internet? I don't know.

Good catch.

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BBC: Bumpkins, hobbits need fairer coverage

_RCH_
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IT Angle

I notice around Wimbledon time that everybody suddenly becomes an expert on Tennis. People who at every other time of the year never mention, watch or play it are suddenly able to describe at length the best strategy for a player to overcome another's attack-vector with a well aimed speed-ball served to the watchamecallit.

Speaking as someone who lives in the city, but was raised in the country, I find many 'city people' (apologies for the lazy generalisation) seem to know everything about the countryside and how best to manage it when there are issues raised in the news with regard to the countryside or when Springwatch is on.

'Country Bumpkins' are looked down on like they're the uninteresting natives living in some sort of Middle Earth which where everything is overpriced during the summer (that last bit is true). Nothing a 'Country Bumpkin' has to say can be of any worth since it's probably based on some kind of superstition that involves cannibalism and hatred of minority groups.

The condescending tone of the City Elites (or City Tarts as I've heard them called -- never used the term myself, except for here) can be quite frustrating, especially when that condescending tone is one that is instructing the said 'Bumpkin' to change everything they know about the countryside because the Sophisticate (Welsh Assembly Member) has consulted a Focus Group.

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Occupy Google: Protesters attack ad giant as I/O gets underway

_RCH_
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I Wonder

Looks like the shine is coming off the Google sweetie-factory image and the mud is starting to stick.

Of course, Google will always have the love of the trendy hipsters who would start shaking with positive rage were anyone to tell them that Google was anything less than world-savingly wonderful.

Who knows, maybe the impossible will happen and as Apple and Google start to lose their Teflon coating, Microsoft could start to be seen as the least worst option?

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PayPal 2FA mobe flaw chills 'warm and fuzzy' security feeling

_RCH_
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FAIL

I'm not a security expert but I would have expected the activation of Two Factor Authentication to be implemented at such a deep layer that anything not using it would either crash or fail to authenticate. Placing the processing of the second authentication strikes me as really quite utterly nuts.

PS. I love his Play-Doh hair!

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Google Nest slurps your life into the Matrix? The TRUTH

_RCH_
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Eyes In The Bath

Oh crap, I'm going to get more of those sodding enlargement pill advertisements now!

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Search, done. Ads, done. What next for Google? Domain registration

_RCH_
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But after the news about their free data package on the Chromebook Pixel, how can you be sure you'll be allowed to keep your domain for as long as you think you've bought it?

Get one year domain registration for the price of three! Now That's a Google Promise!

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San Francisco issues SMACKDOWN on parking spot sale software

_RCH_
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Devil

"We don't understand why they want to shut us down. We are trying to solve the huge parking problem which is not only bad for drivers but for all the city,"

That'll be big business being looked after by the local authorities it supplies with crack, hookers and blowies.

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David Cameron wants mobe network roaming INSIDE the UK

_RCH_
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Angel

It can be a little frustrating to be stood in a village with no signal only to see that there is another network's mast within a hundred years of your current location.

Usually happens when I'm on holiday. Damn thing never works when I'm on holiday. Forces me to speak with the wife. Can you imagine how frustrating that is for her!?

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Chromebook Pixel owners' promised free data plans being prematurely axed

_RCH_
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Devil

A Pinky Promise? No! A Google Promise!

Maybe Google, in all its gracious wisdom, discovered that users were downloading more than 100MB for their Screenplay writing in Starbucks and, rather than sting them with a big bill, decided to combine the years so if you used 200MB in January 2013, then that would be 100MB from January 2014 as well.

Let's face it, if you're going to pay that much for something that doesn't work unless its connected to Big Brother, faced with this you're probably just going to lie back and think of Silicon Valley (or should that be Silly Con Valley? Oh, I'm full of it today!) anyway.

Chromebook, works wherever you are, whenever you are and That's a Google Promise!

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Apple SOLDERS memory into new 'budget' iMac

_RCH_
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Gimp

You don't deserve more RAM!

If you can't afford the RAM today, then you should have worked harder yesterday and got a better job! As it is, you are not worthy of the RAM, for if you were, you would have the money to pay for the RAM.

It's your own stupid fault!

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Yes. App that lets you say 'Yo' raises 1 MEEELLION DOLLARS

_RCH_
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Coat

I'm sorry

I heard the website is suffering under the load of visitors and it's going up, and down and up and back down again like a......

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