Ode to the dropped boobies

There was a stone lady called Venus

Who suffered a mishap so haenous.

For quick as a flash

Her boobs dropped with a crash

And squashed young David's wee penis.

Massive lack of morality

... But what else should Google do? They are operating according to the laws of the lands they are in and that's it. Capitalism doesn't have a conscience else nobody would be fired just to give the CEO a better Christmas bonus.

This is an interesting admission here though; Gogle is saying that what it does, it does because it makes sense in a capitalist framework. Does that mean then that the causes it supports are done so purely for the capitalistic benefit of the company? Of course. Google's motto is "don't be evil". What Google's motto isn't is "Be Good". So, supporting social groups that can pay show their gratitude through traffic and use of Google services is great while helping governments pay the bills which support services and support for the poor is not great.

That's why Google isn't going to pay this, but Starbucks now is. Nobody thinks that Starbucks has had a change of heart do they? They're losing out because of the bad press which is why they have tried to do what they have. Not paying the taxes in the UK was immoral, but the paying of the money they have promised is no more moral, they're doiing it because it makes business sense, not because it's the right thing to do.

Google is practically unboycottable, so they can say "up yours" to whoever complains.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say in these disjointed paragraphs is that morality is subject to capitalism in our brave new world and it counts for nothing. If there's no money in it, then there's no point to it.

Nice

That looks really cool! I would have killed for one of those when I was a kid.... but I'm not a kid any more which is why I don't want one.

Needless to say...

Needless to say, I won't be buying any iOS devices for anyone this ChristX. I don't hate anyone enough to do it.

Worth considering...

If you're going to link Windows 8 to this trend, it's worth considering that Windows 8 doesn't need more resources that Windows 7. Also, Windows 8 is dirt cheap to buy at the moment. In the olden days (well, pre Windows 7), you needed new hardware to run a new OS and it was so expensive, many people would have figured they'd may as well just buy a new PC with the new OS on it.

Far enough...

Is it far enough away yet to hear Hitler opening the Olympics?

But seriously, I would laugh my pants off if it hit a massive black wall full of little white lights.

Ode to Teenagers Wot Would

The Register (so they say),

Is 'the place' if you want to play;

While reading 'bout Apple

As with your todger you grapple

With jolly japes all the day.

Paris, because she knows how to grapple.

Bloody good mushrooms if that's what it was

So John wrote about a system which uses a mark (the Greek means an etching in the skin) to facilitate purchasing and sale of goods, and this was written when!? Of course, we all know that nothing like that will never happen.

Pretty good guess, mushrooms or source.

Back to the plot, since the 'Mark of the Beast' is described as a mark on the hand or forehead, and not a lanyard, then I don't see why she made such a fuss. Does she refuse to have her hand stamped when she goes into a theme park?

Al's Brain

Albert's brain is on the telly

It looks pretty, but is it smelly?

It's what was used to control his belly

And lots of his other bits;

This brain has done some neato thinking

While it helpded him do his winking,

Walking, talking, sitting, standing,

Pooping, counting and demanding.

Is he in there, all wrinkled and folded

Like funny pasta that has been moulded

To look like a brain that might be Al's?

Who knows, but this is cool.

Sadly...

Sadly, I have all too often seen Adobe updates wrecking important functionality in applications that depend on their software. Seriously, I used to think Adobe stuff was the future, but for a very long time now I've believed that Steve Jobs was right (and I don't often say that).

Fascinating

It's articles like this that I come for at The Register (well, often)! Thanks.

PS. That wasn't supposed to sound sarcastic.

Suddenly not important

Si the iPad Mini has a bigger screen than the N7 and a lower resolution? I thought that display quality was important? I thought that screen quality for reading stuff was the most important thing in the world? So why have they reduced the DPI to something less than the current industry standard?

It's not a cut down version of the iPad3 or 4, it's a cut down version of the iPad 2.

As for the iPad 4, the only thing that has been made obsolete is the egos of iPad 3 owners; at the end of the day, the iPad 3 population still works. I pity the iPad 3 owning sheep who will buy an iPad 4 because they need to keep up with fashion.

Wake me up when Apple do something groundbreaking.

And so here it is...

I loved each and every Symbian device I have ever had. Robust, never crashed and never needed a reboot. It was easy ti install apps from whatever source I trusted.

My last Symbian device was the Nokia E61 and then I went to the iPhone. Why oh why!? Took me ages to realise the error of my ways. Then, out of the frying pan into the fridge, I went to Windows Phone 7. Now I'm a Fandroid. But Symbian will always have a place in my heart.

Seeing Symbian go like this is like watching an ex girlfriend having a tough time with her current partner; nothing to do with me, but I still feel kind of bad.

Bye then Symbian.

You rocked.

Bleeding Edge

I was so teased when, in my twenties, I started using my Nokia 7650, 9210, 6260 et al to do more than phonecalls. Oh, how people laughed and said that they would **only ever** use a phone to make phone calls and these 'fancy phones' would never catch on (mind you, they were the ones who said the same when I was in Uni and I came home to tell them about this thing we used called 'the web').

Oh how they laughed.

Oh how I feel ever so smug now.

I started with the 7650 and then went through a 9210 and a 6260 along the way. I've used Symbian, Windows Mobile, Blackberry for work, Windows Phone, iOS and now Android. I think the only one I've never touched is Palm's OS.

I think my fondest memories are of the 9210. It was friggin' lovely and apps available for it just rocked. Even now, there's no calendar app on any platform that comes close to it. I miss my 9210 a lot. I miss Symbian too; the community was great (big shout out to www.allaboutsymbian.com) and the apps were innovative. What happened Nokia? You used to push the boat out with every new model! At least it beat Bill Gates' Windows Mobile (too bad JPZR!)

Symbian made me feel warm :) I always wanted a P800 though, they looked so happy!

Windows Mobile just crashed a lot; it was all hat and no cattle.

iPhone? I thought that was great until I looked through the Apple bubble (after my 3GS) and saw the competition was actually a bit better in many areas.

Windows Phone (I had the HTC HD7) was great, I liked that a lot but ended up feeling Microsoft wasn't doing too much with the Windows Phone 7 platform. I didn't know how right I was.

Android now, through and through!

Great piece, totally loved seeing the pictures :)

I think I read a conspiracy theory somewhere that the Mayans knew about this planet and Carl Sagan tried to play it down? I'm sure I didn't just make that up, can anyone else confirm if they heard such a thing?

You can simulate his descent for yourself...

... by opening Google Earth and zooming in...

“are literally talking all the time about everything”

“literally talking all the time about everything”

So, there are people in Apple talking with people in Google about horses, chicken nuggets, skin conditions, bottle openers, elbow licking, biros, vinegar, pants, socks, Baby Bio, ,BIOS, people called Mungo, the sky, the floor, clouds, the cloud, red shirts with purple trousers, astronomy, Mars, Velcro, Tuesdays, wing mirrors, carrier bags, Wales, whales, water, Postman Pat, me and some more stuff?

If I was an Apple iDevice user...

If I was a user of any device made by Apple, I would be so embarrassed.

Seriously, when they see Apple doing stuff like this, don't they feel the shine coming off their iToys even a little?

"Fanbois in China who just can’t wait to get their hands on the much-hyped upcoming iPhone 5"

That's about 10 sales guaranteed then!

Not different enough

Apple will get this banned on the grounds that it has a screen (which it invented), icons (which it invented) and of course, that greatest of sins, it exists (Apple has patented existence as well).

This is a flagrant copy. End of.

Just switch over

I wouldn't recommend these glasses to anybody, yet it would help to see where these guys are coming from.

Many years ago, when 'Angry from Tumbridge Wells' would complain about too much leg being shown on the telly, many people responded saying "Well, just turn the telly off if you don't like it, or switch over to Songs of Praise". The same is said now about people complaining about porn on the internet, they're told to just not look at it and let those who want to look at it do just that.

Now though, all the stuff that was offensive back then is around and about us so much that if you are offended by the sight of bare thighs, bosoms or bottoms, if certain words offend you or certain ideas cause you distress, then you can't just 'switch to another channel' can you? Suddenly, you're no longer free to leave the house because you're either made red with rage or you're offended by what you may call lies.

Hats off to Auntie

The Beeb did a fantastic job of the Olympics. Absolutely brilliant!

Sadly...

The sad thing is that nobody can say Apple's increase is due to better design or software because they're busy spending more of their money on banning the right of the competition to exist.

On another note, has anybody seen the new Mac adverts featuring the 'Genius'? I swear I hear Jobs turning in his grave at the sheer Microsoftiness of them!

The way Apple sees it...

The way Apple sees it, there's only one way anybody can be doing better than the collective iTrash and that is through copying the iTrash, that's why Apple is trying to ban Samsung from being allowed to exist; they must be copying, that's the only reasonable explanation for this.

Bullying tactics

This is like the school bully who has his mates grab a guy and hold him against the wall, helpless, while he gets seven shades of excrement kicked out of him. The bully walks away, happy that he has again shown how awesome he is.

I can hear Tim Cook now as he cock-walks the stage talking about how the competition are just not good enough to compete with Apple's 'innovation', 'originality' and 'ease of use'.

Can't Anonymous take these gits down?

Less or Fewer?

"Ofcom got 0.72 complaints about TalkTalk per 1,000 customers between January and March, but that was less moans than it got in the previous five quarters about the telco."

'Less moans' or 'fewer moans'?