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* Posts by English Bob

25 posts • joined 4 Jun 2007

Google rewrites dot-doc death note

English Bob

I've never succeeded in getting Office 97 to read *.---x formats either. I must be doing it wrong, but I'm reasonably computer literate and have had several goes at it over the years. I'll refrain from adding an anti-Microsoft conspiracy theory at this point...

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Is using your own kit at work a good thing?

English Bob
WTF?

Question 2.8

To what degree are the following used in an 'official' and 'unofficial' manner *across your workforce?* (my asterisks)

I was answering the survey quite happily, but had to bail out when I reached this one. Do you really expect me to poll everyone in my company and present a median?

Forgive me if I wasn't expected to take the question literally. I'm an engineer and can't help myself.

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ASA smackdown for Yahoo! Thelma & Louise

English Bob
Stop

Maybe the world has ended, after all

I never thought I'd find myself taking Yahoo's side...

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Gartner: Windows 7 upgrade catch for XP converts

English Bob
Happy

Or is Garter keeping us in suspense?

I see what you did there. :-)

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Parcelforce website cold-shoulders Linux lovers

English Bob

Direct them to the Morons in Webspace site

http://www.cameratim.com/personal/soapbox/morons-in-webspace

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Hubble sniffs CO2 on far-flung 'hot Jupiter' planet

English Bob
Alien

Near-infrared emissions

If their method relies on detecting near-infrared emissions of the planet's super-hot atmosphere, presumably it won't therefore work on a planet that doesn't have a super-hot atmosphere. One that would be more likely to support life, for instance?

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UK boffins roll out video periodic table

English Bob
Coat

How does one get to be an explosive reactions expert?

I want that job! Has Pete got a Licence for that?

I'll get my coat.

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Homer Simpson's email address hacked

English Bob

No actual hacking required

Spoofing the "from" field of an e-mail hardly counts as hacking, Shirley?

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iPhone will ship in green packaging

English Bob
Joke

Nom

iPhone - all your survival needs in one environmentally friendly package (phone excepted).

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Bill Gates has gone, what's his legacy?

English Bob
Linux

The Final Act of a Visionary

Why say that Bill is not a visionary? His decision to, if not actually leave (thanks richard for that incisive commentary), then at least edge a little closer to the escape chute, may prove to be a fine piece of foresight.

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Thus spake the Moderatrix

English Bob
Thumb Up

Moderatrix for PM

I can't remember when I last read so much common sense advice in one place. More, Moderatrix, more!

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Coldplay in digital and vinyl giveaway

English Bob

As predicted

At 12:20 the site had slowed to as near absolute zero as makes no difference...

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West Yorks rolls out cop cams, ignoring plod nod probs

English Bob
Happy

Evenin' all

What about when they put their thumbs behind their lapels and bend their knees? That will play havoc with the recording. So will whistling, holding their bellies while laughing, and many other commonplace police activities.

What's that you say? It isn't the Fifties any more? Bugger.

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Europe hails foothold in space

English Bob

European foothold?

To paraphrase: at launch it carried five ISPRs, including the European Physiology Modules Facility, European Drawer Rack and European Transport Carrier. If those three things with "European" in their names weren't a European foothold in space, why is this fourth thing with "European" in its name being hailed as such?

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Brit violinist does a Radiohead

English Bob
Unhappy

Now see what you did

The link is down already - and the album isn't even released yet...

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Aliens responsible for Italian machine uprising

English Bob
Pirate

And the real culprit is...

I reckon it was Boeing's 'relevant battlefield laser' undergoing trials. See? It *does* work.

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Women's panties threaten Burmese Junta

English Bob

A few pants never did Tom Jones any harm

I dunno, they don't make despotic military juntas like they used to. Now in my day... (Quasi-nostalgic rant deleted)

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Kiwi boffins prove that booze makes you clever

English Bob

Call me Bruce - it will avoid confusion

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant

Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume

Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, [some versions have 'Schopenhauer and Hegel']

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya

'Bout the raising of the wrist.

Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,

On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--

Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.

Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.

'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,

A lovely little thinker,

But a bugger when he's pissed.

(Yes, I know New Zealand isn't Australia, but when national stereotyping is involved accuracy goes out the window)

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Dawn on its way to the asteroid belt

English Bob

I've played Asteroids, so I know

I hope they have someone with a quick trigger finger at the controls if they hope to go on to Pluto. It's dangerous out there.

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Opportunity rolls into Victoria

English Bob

Safe egress route

It's all very well completing this back-up drive over the crater rim to prove they can do it, but the only way to do that is to drive into the crater in the first place, Shirley? What if they *hadn't* succeeded? NASA could hardly find some Martian farmer and offer to buy him a beer if he brings his tractor over for a quick tow, could they?

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We'll never get alien telly, says Zagreb boffin

English Bob

There is another theory which states that this has already happened

"...it's a wonder we haven't already picked up some kind of eternal synthetic version of Big Brother already, pumped out from relic production machinery left running by a far-off, long extinct alien race..."

Do you have any tips on how to tell the difference?

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Computer program to take on the Unabomber

English Bob

An unfortunate coincidence

David Gelernter, the polymath and computer scientist whose book "The Muse in the Machine" dealt with the practicalities of machine intelligence in compelling detail, was a victim of the bombing campaign mounted by Theodore Kaczynski, later known as the Unabomber.

I'm not sure where this comment can go from here, except to say that Phil Laak could conceivably have picked a better nickname. I felt the coincidence should not go undocumented.

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Sucky software? So add a virgin

English Bob

Do as I say, not as I do...

This is probably unfair comment for a number of reasons, but it's amusing so it's justified. During a visit to the book's website (http://www.whysoftwaresucks.com/) I wanted to leave a comment; but when I attempted to follow the comments link, I got a page full of incomprehensible error report which is clearly aimed at the site's developers, and is no use to the visitor.

http://img505.imageshack.us/my.php?image=wsserrorlw2.png

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Eta Carinae brightens Chandra's day

English Bob

Bigger version this way...

You can find out more from NASA's Chandra site here: http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/chandra/main/index.html

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Brit uploaders teach Yanks man-hug techniques

English Bob

Somebody needs a hug

Within acceptable guidelines, of course...

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