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* Posts by Tel

57 posts • joined 4 Jun 2007

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GT sapphire glaziers: You signed WHAT deal with Apple?

Tel
Coat

Re: Nothing new under the sun

That's the problem with putting all your apples in one basket. Pun intended and I make no apology for it!

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Facebook goes down, people dial 911

Tel

I discovered, upon finding Facebook down, that I had to FaceRealLife instead.

The horrors that I saw! Hold me!

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French Senate passes anti-Amazon amendment

Tel

What with all the highly restrictive and protectionist trade practises in France, no wonder they didn't get so badly hit by the downturn as the rest of the world.

They were already f*cked anyway.

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London officials declare cabbie-bothering Uber is legal – for now

Tel

Re: Has anyone actually used them?

I can walk 1.3 miles in not much longer than that time and at less cost in shoe leather. Also I don't have to finance a monopolistic cartel.

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Tel

Re: So a a punter

I have long since lost any trust in black cab drivers since the day when I had to get from the West End to my dying mother in Enfield. The cab driver took a route so circuitous I'm pretty sure it went via Mars and certainly it took at least twice as long as any time I had driven (roughly) the same journey when I had access to a car... On top of that, the driver had no 'knowledge' of the area much outside the North Circular, and when he finally crossed that particular Rubicon, I had to direct him!

Oh, and I arrived 20 minutes late for my mother's death.

Black cab drivers can go f*ck themselves.

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Apple 'rainbow' logos set to fetch $10-15K at auction

Tel

Re: What? No injunction from Apple?

On the assumption that the employee was, indeed, permitted to take possession of these items, I can't see why selling them would be any different from selling anything else with a corporate trademark on it.

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A first-world problem solved: Panoramic selfies, thanks to Huawei's Ascend P7

Tel

Gotta say it looks a bit like an iPhone 4 (with mismatched black and white panels) that's been under a steamroller...

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Minecraft players can now download Denmark – all of it – in 1:1 scale

Tel

Re: Needs more Norway

What? Belgium?

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Reddit users discover iOS malware threat

Tel

Re: Malware infection targeting iOS users ..

In other words they only have themselves to blame.

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AMD demos 'Berlin' Opteron, world's first heterogeneous system architecture server chip

Tel

But how well will it mine crypto currencies?

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Report: Apple seeking to raise iPhone 6 price by a HUNDRED BUCKS

Tel

Re: Does Apple have a short memory, or what?

There's a significant difference between (supposedly) forcing other people to keep their prices high everywhere if they want to use your e-commerce platform and setting your retail pricing for your own products. Apple can charge whatever they like for stuff they manufacture and sell themselves. You clearly don't seem to understand the difference though.

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Tel

Why do people think the 5C is somehow a failure?

All the market surveys I've read (and not sourced from Apple) suggest the 5C has been roundly outselling the Galaxy 4S. And considering that the 5C is essentially a repackaged plain old '5, that means it's 2012's tech and yet nobody seems to be interested in hearing about how much of a 'fail' the Galaxy 4S has been.

It's inconsistent with facts and illogical to call the 5C a 'failure'. It sells less than the 5S, yes... being essentially last year's model, and all, but if it sold more, than the 5S would be the 'failure' instead... How can Apple 'win' (or even draw!) if people and, more particularly, journalists who should have some sort of obligation towards truth, keep insisting that black is white?

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I QUIT: Mozilla's anti-gay-marriage Brendan Eich leaps out of door

Tel

It's not his private life though, is it?

I don't vote for politicians whose views I detest.

I won't support a company led by someone whose views I similarly detest.

When that company/organisation has avowed equality policies that its CEO flies in the face of, then they either admit they're hypocrites and their equality policies aren't worth the paper they're written on, or they live up to their ideals.

Mozilla were on the cusp of being judged and found wanting. They realised this. Just in time.

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Fukushima radioactivity a complete non-issue on West Coast: Also for Fukushima locals, in fact

Tel

Re: Sad to say that I know a couple people who are worried about the plume...

When you think about the numbers of nuclear bombs that were exploded in the Pacific on various (poor defenceless!) atolls, Fukushima pales into insignificance. If the alarmists were to be believed, the Pacific would be utterly dead through irradiation by now.

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Apple Mac Pro: It's a death star, not a nappy bin, OK?

Tel

It might well be more powerful as well.

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Tel
Flame

Re: Final Destiny

Pop a can of baked beans on top? Instant lunch :)

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Tel

When I had a minor issue with my 2008 Mac Pro (noisy graphics card, since upgraded) I took it to my local Apple store. All I had to do was get it into my car. They sent one of their staff with me to the car park to get it as I'd done my wrist in and had trouble carrying it.

Not many other shops would let their staff go on a half mile schlep to a car park for a customer, and I only had to ask, no need to fight for it. That alone won loyalty from me.

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Tel

Re: The answer to the universe is 99?

Because Apple doesn't have any real recent history of putting on sale products nobody wants, unlike the MS Surface or Windows Phone...

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Apple pushes back release date for 'dustbin chic' Mac Pro

Tel

Apple haven't pushed back the 'release date' for the Mac Pro. Its release date was back end of 2013. It has already been released.

What you mean is that there's a delivery delay due to the numbers on back order.

Sloppy writing.

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Elderly Bletchley Park volunteer sacked for showing Colossus exhibit to visitors

Tel

Re: Just what we need...

Hmm. Am I to infer that you don't like the man? ;)

(FWIW, I agree with you. A lobotomised monkey would appear to be able to do the job better.)

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Apple declares war on PAYPAL: Pay-by-bonk + iTunes = profit, right?

Tel
Big Brother

If it goes ahead, they're going to have to find a better name than 'iTunes' for the One App To Rule Them All.

It's already anachronistic seeing as it's more than just 'tunes' now...

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SHOCK! US House swats trolls, passes patent 'extortion' bill

Tel

Bye bye Lodsys!

Don't let the courthouse door hit you on the arse on the way out.

Actually, do. It'd be fun to watch you fall flat on your face.

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New exploding whale vid once again shows true porpoise of internet

Tel
Mushroom

Thats one heck of a LOT of ambergris...

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Cold-blooded, INHUMAN visitor hitches ride on NASA moon rocket

Tel

And in our next instalment...

Pigs In Spaaaaaace!

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Who's a Siri boy, then? Apple hoards your voices for TWO years

Tel

Re: Now i hate apple....

Frankly I don't care... it's not as if anyone would ask Siri to do anything with their bank account number.

Basically all Apple has is a bunch of different voices asking about the weather, reminders to pick up shopping and asking the most important questions of all, namely "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" and "what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"...

Apple are hardly going to be equipping a fifth column with that useless information!

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Microsoft secure Azure Storage goes down WORLDWIDE

Tel

Oh Rly?

And they want us to subscribe to Office 365 and store all our documents that run our businesses in the cloud if we don't want to pay through the nose for a licence to use only once and then throw away a physical local install of Office?

Just who do Microsoft think they are and just how f***ed up is their business model these days?

I've *never* trusted cloud computing and I never will. At least I can get at the culprits if my network goes down.

How did Microsoft get this big of a deathwish without anybody in their corporate structure noticing?

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Earth escapes obliteration by comet

Tel
WTF?

Pardon?

Er... run that one past me again? I think the Lizard People might have messed up my Universal Translator and turned your comment into gobbledegook...

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A sysadmin's top ten tales of woe

Tel
WTF?

erm?

*JANUARY* 31st?

Surely that would have been a bit of a long wait for the lorries? Then again, this does rather seem to be appropriate for management fail...

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Kaspersky blocks BBC News over false phishing fears

Tel

Meh

Couldn't give a monkey's about sport and I actually quite like the new design (although I do view it on a huge monitor, so I'd concede that people with tiddly screens might have an issue).

As for Kaspersky, all that's left to be said is [cue Nelson Muntz voice]... Haa haa!

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Neuroscientist: iPhone 4's 'Retina display' not bullsh*t

Tel
Boffin

@Ken Green

At over 40 you're more likely to have the available readies to be able to buy it!

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Google vanishes Android apps from citizen phones

Tel
Stop

Legal?

While it might be a bit difficult to place a mobile device into the category of 'computer', a computer is, indeed, what a smartphone is, these days. Certainly the processing power on these gadgets is far in excess of what was available on desktops when a certain Computer Misuse Act was written - you know, the one that criminalises access to a user's computing device by a third party without the knowledge or permission of the owner of the device.

It seem to me that were Google to remotely remove any software installed on any UK phone that they would be breaking the law.

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Chancellor cans planned game biz tax break

Tel
Alert

VAT won't hurt much

I seriously doubt the VAT rise will do much, if anything, to sales of games. It'll add exactly 85p to a £39.99 game. Not exactly bank breaking. I'm sure most gamers have enough readies to cover that. And the money to fill in Labour's gargantuan black hole has to come from somewhere...

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From iPhone to iOS – Apple nabs (another) Cisco handle

Tel
Grenade

Steve Jobs is no match for British broadcasters?

"Steve Jobs is no match for British broadcasters"?

I don't think so... I'm pretty sure Apple is sitting on enough dosh to be able to buy Britain's ITV outright, and that doesn't take into account Jobs' humungously vast wealth elsewhere (Disney, Pixar, etc).

Personally, given the crap that ITV tends to broadcast, I'd be very glad if it got bought out by Jobs... a bit of Apple's style rubbing off on it would improve it immensely. Mind you, a bit of napalm would improve it as well, so that wouldn't be a hard ask!

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Slovakian flies to Dublin with 90 grams of explosive

Tel
WTF?

If it happened to me I'd be furious

So not only do the muppets of the Slovakian security authorities put at risk a plane and its passengers, but then the poor beggar who they accidentally fit up gets arrested. And anyone who's ever taken a trip to America on the Visa Waiver programme will know that by simple fact of being arrested he'd never be able to travel there visa-free ever again. And, given the nature of the arrest, despite the massive extenuating circumstances, you can bet your last euro that the US visa people will take one look at the record - "explosives, aeroplane, arrest" - and he'll be on a no-fly list before he can blink.

Poor bloke will never be able to travel anywhere ever again! If that were me I'd be reaching for the nearest high-powered lawyer.

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Nokia sues Apple (again)

Tel
Jobs Halo

Wishful thinking

It looks like wishful thinking if Nokia think they're going to get away with this legal jiggerypokery...

From simply reading the descriptions of the patents in the article I can think of plenty of examples of the technology in use before the date of the patent.

What this shows is the ludicrous way patents are managed in the USA. That situation certainly needs urgent reform, because the only people winning in all this are the lawyers and in the meantime business innovation is stifled and smaller outfits trying to develop new products essentially risk their entire worlds on the basis that someone somewhere doesn't have a spurious patent so broadly drawn as to prevent them even putting pencil to drawing board...

Of course, should this all turn bad for Apple, they can always resort to their war-chest. Earlier today I looked up Nokia's market capitalisation - Apple reportedly has enough of a mountain of cash (yes, ready cash) to buy Nokia outright: mind you, is Nokia actually worth it that sort of money?

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Taliban attack Brit troops with explosive donkey

Tel
Alert

Aww

Shrek will be most displeased

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Cartoon smut law to make life sucky for Olympic organisers

Tel
Grenade

Question...

How would this law relate to (illicit) cartoon imagery of Smurfs engaged in 'adult activity'?

Does anyone know how young or old Smurfs are meant to be? Who decides whether Smurfette is of legal age or not?

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Google open sources flash-happy Chrome OS

Tel
FAIL

Waste of time

I like Google's web services but this will never catch on beyond the occasional nerd who just buys it because it's there.

If my broadband connection goes down I can, at least, still use my computer for other stuff (games, programming, writing, accounts, etc). With this sort of online-only browser-based 'OS' you're stuffed the moment the net connection goes away. It'd be about as much use as a doorstop.

To all intents and purposes, Google are reinventing the dumb terminal that runs Windows 1 (yes, 'one') with a slightly updated interface.

I ain't going anywhere near it.

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Raytheon buys BBN for 'about $350m'

Tel
Grenade

Arms manufacturer owns email???

Does that mean that all peaceniks now have to communicate by snail-mail for conscientious objection reasons?

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Egyptians uptight about 'Artificial Virginity Hymen'

Tel
Coat

Um...

Never has the acronym WTF been more appropriate...

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Artists adds pulsating 'brain' to PC

Tel
Black Helicopters

YUCK!

Just the sort of thing if you like your keyboard to be covered with a lumpy yawn...

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Bank of America demands thumbprint from armless bloke

Tel
Coat

Dear me...

I'm sure it was just an armless misunderstanding...

(Sorry!)

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Tory MP to sue over sex smear email

Tel
Boffin

They think it's all over...

It is now.

For ZaNuLabour that is.

And to think I nearly went to the same school as McBride. I'm so glad I didn't.

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Manufacturer demos two-screen 15in laptop

Tel
WTF?

Ye gods,

WHY?

Imagine using it on a train... you'd soon cause a fight with your neighbour, assuming you had a seat...

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Apple iTablet snaps emerge

Tel
FAIL

Yeah right

First of all... the 'welcome' picture is **precisely** the same as the picture you get when you do a Google search for Leopard Welcome screen

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&um=1&sa=1&q=leopard+welcome+screen&aq=f&oq=&aqi=&start=0

What are the chances that the letters would be photographed in exactly the same position on the 'tablet'? Indeed, why would it be running Leopard which isn't optimised for pudgy fingers? It'd be running something else - similar maybe, but certainly not using the same welcome screen and certainly not when Leopard is about to be upgraded and in the process changing the installation process anyway - why would a pre-production machine be using an old version of the OS not designed for tablet usage when there's a new version due out any day that clearly would support a tablet (if indeed they plan to use normal OS X on it at all)?

Secondly, the alignment of the graphic isn't correct.

Thirdly, the video very carefully doesn't show the edges of the 'tablet' - it's so obviously a finger choreographed to a video.

Fourthly, Apple would NEVER release anything that ugly.

This is an absolute fake.

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Boffin predicts pee-powered cars

Tel
Pint

A good excuse to go out and get pissed?

It sounds like binge drinking might have a beneficial side effect after all!

I wonder though, does all the weewee produced in one day provide enough hydrogen resource to replace all the petrol used in the same period?

And will the water companies suddenly diversify into fuel station forecourts? They are the ones, after all, who have access to the relevant raw materials!

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Web swoons as Jackson dies

Tel
Stop

Wall to wall coverage...

What with the news being unmitigated Jackson, wall to wall coverage, endless talking heads and children who never experienced Jackson's music at the time it was released all emoting into their twitter accounts, I wonder what awful news the Government is going to be sneaking out today....?

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Designer pitches flat-pack power plug

Tel
FAIL

Erm..

"All pins contact simultaneously, rather than earth first. "

Have you looked at a UK earth pin lately? It's bigger, fatter and LONGER than the other two. Given the slot nature of the socket, it's completely impossible for the other pins to reach contact point before the earth pin has already made contact. Likewise your appliance is earthed even after the live and neutral pins have disengaged.

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NASA moon-attack probe beams home first lunar shots

Tel
WTF?

Watched the 'swing by' video...

Is that it?

I was expecting something exciting!

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