* Posts by Tim Schomer

150 posts • joined 4 Jun 2007

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US politician: 'homosexual agenda' behind TSA groin grope

Tim Schomer
Big Brother

Not really,

He's probably wanting to ban them BECAUSE none of them have made a pass at him and he feels a little jealous and left out. (If I can't have it then no-one can!!)

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BOFH: Robot wars

Tim Schomer

MWAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHahh

'nuf sed

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Google can kill or install apps on citizen Androids

Tim Schomer

Or alternatively

... just turn off the data network when you're not using it. I do and it also saves a load of battery (as well as mildly upsetting some apps that want permanent net connection)

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Street View catches Finn with his pants down

Tim Schomer
WTF?

Eh??

No Idea, anyone else want to try and explain it?

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Tim Schomer

Looks like

he's about to crack one off, judging by his position.

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BOFH: The PFY Chronicles

Tim Schomer
Dead Vulture

So...

.. The PFY finally did it then been in training long enough!). Nice to see he's keeping the 'old' ways alive^H^H^H^H^Hgoing still. I'm sure the BOFH will live on through him, it's how he would've wanted to go.

gravestone for obvious reasons.

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Spanish city shuns Brit 'Saga louts'

Tim Schomer
Coat

They need to be carefull,

Some old tanked up granny could cripple someone with her zimmer frame.

/ the one with the sherry bottle in the inside pocket please..

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California school pulls 'oral sex' dictionary

Tim Schomer
Coffee/keyboard

I think

that last sentance could have been better phrased.

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Tim Schomer
Thumb Up

I seem to remember...

... not so long ago, certain celebrities trying to get the word C*NT into the Oxford English Dictionery ON TV!!!! (BBC 2 as I recall)

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Spanish town to reward good drivers

Tim Schomer
FAIL

You just try

Living in the country mate, see how much of your weekly shop you can get on the back of your bike, cos' you sure as hell ain't gonna get it on the one bus a week that is the usual service (or wold you prefer a Taxi for those occasions, kinda defeats the purpose really)

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Tim Schomer
IT Angle

Ahahaha AAAAHHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAAA

no need for any more comment.

And by the way, for all those concerned, IT'S BEING REPORTED ON T' INTERWEB - IT angle sorted

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Tim Schomer
Happy

I wonder...

...if the Mayor's brother/cousin/other relative owned said restaraunt (and if they breathalised them after........)

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Playmobil throws down animation gauntlet

Tim Schomer
Paris Hilton

LESTER!!!

Put those playmobile figures DOWN! That's NOT the sort of thing they're looking for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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IBM's monster tape will take three days to fill

Tim Schomer
Boffin

Last system I set up ..

(OK it was a few years ago) had both. I suspect quite a few places use this type of system.

The data was backed up over the network to a NAS unit, this happenned overnight when there was no-one using hte systems and meant the servers were ready for use the next morning without any inconveniences. Once the data was on the NAS it was then written to tape during the day when there was someone there to monitor it in case another tape was required etc.

The other benefit of this is that if a file was required to be recovered the next day it could be accessed very quickly and easily since it was still on the NAS. Larger drives in the NAS would allow several days worth of data to be stored - in most cases saving the need to resort to the tapes (but definitely not in ALL cases, we had to go back 5 months for a deleted directory once).

This shows that disks are good for transient data storage, but not so good in the long term.

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French top MOT failure league

Tim Schomer
Boffin

Last car I had

Was a Vectra (estate 1.8 petrol) which I sold it in full runnning order with 207000 on the clock and the last MOT cost me the princely sm of £65 because I had the spare tyre on in place of an alloy. I usually take advantage of the car being in the garage to get those incedental issues taken care of ("I think the front tyres are getting low, could you change them before the MOT"....) Our local garage is usually pretty sensible about such things. I got collared on the spare wheel 'cos I was away on holiday at the time and they couldn't contact me.

My betting is that a large proportion of these 'failures' are down to the owners not knowing WHAT was an MOT failure (dodgy wiper blades or not bothering to check the bulbs) - REAL failures are what I would describe as problems that would make the car/van unsafe to drive. I think there are classifications on the test that distinguish these (minor, substantial or major). A decent breakdown of these would be a much better indication of whether the state of the vehicles s down to minor neglect (bulb out) or more serious matters (bralke system failure being one that springs to mind).

The MOT test was originally brought in to stop dangerous vehicles from being allowed on the road, and this is right. What is required more now is motorists that know/understand/care a little more about the workings of the vehicles they are driving. Would anyone you know drive a vehicle they knew was in a dangerus condition? Would anyone you know drive a vehicle which 'had a bit of a funny noise coming from the back' or ' didn't seem to stop as well as it used to'. I'm sure you all know someone that falls into the latter cateory but seldom anyone that falls into the first, although the two can very often be the same vehicle.

Modern vehicles have fallen into the trap of often being 'too reliable' - with their owners not being capable of noticing when something serious is going wrong with them as the vehicle is overcoming most of the symptoms itself ("being safe"). This is manefesting itself as a tendancy of more and more motorists to not bother to check the basics (tyres, brakes, fluids etc...) which in earlier models were part of the motorists life, hence more failures for 'minor' problems.

The solution? I leave that question open for discussion, but I don't think there's going to be an easy one.

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Googlephone Nexus One leaks more news

Tim Schomer
Pint

Well that must make me..

... one of the 0.00001% then. Batteries don't last forever (I've killed 3 so far in my current phone over a 3 year period) and they always have a habit of going flat at the worst times possible (ie, when you need to go out with it and haven't got time to charge it) so a charged spare is a very viable proposition. (I would say I change the battery over every month to 6 weeks on average).

I have to confess I would be VERY upset if I had to take the phone back to the manufacturer every time I wanted the battery swapped. (and it'd cost a fortune)

<pedant mode>

I think your maths are a little bit out, saying 99.99999% people wouldn't change a battery means 1 in 10 million bit I'm pretty sure at least 1 in 1,000 would change the battery.

</pedant mode>

feels like beer time now....

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US mum calls 911 over Grand Theft Auto

Tim Schomer
Happy

Ah, the BBC micro

I had a tear of nostalgia when I read that, not that we played too exsessively (never had the time, between mowing the lawn and other chores) but I do remember a metal box that we filled with ice to stop th e GPU from overheating on extended 'Elite' sessions (OK, GPU is a bit of a strong term for it, it was just the standard chip, but it had a heatsink that got seriously hot when playing Elite so we had to cool it down a bit...)

Those days we had real friends that we could and did speak to on a face to face basis (OK, there wasn't much choice then) but it didn't do us any harm, and i'm sure we're more socially complete as a result of it.

Can we have an icon for dewey eyed nostalia of the old times??

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Homemade airship prang closes highway in Oklahoma

Tim Schomer
Thumb Up

Nope

Problem is, at 79 he's probably already procreated so there's probably going to be a couple more generations out there that are potential candidates.

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BOFH: Key performance undertakers

Tim Schomer
Pint

Aaahhh, that'd better

Just what I needed, a BOFH on my last day at work before Xmas.

Seems like the PFY is getting a little brave of late (or is that foolish...)

Merry Xmas everyone.

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Angels can't fly: Official

Tim Schomer
Pint

Of course they can

Haven't you heard, Faith can move mountains!, so it sure as hell can make Angels fly.

Fairies - being Magical creatures - are supported by the power of magic and therefore don't need to adhere to the laws of physics (I wonder if Scotty ever wished he had a Magic wand...)

I think the acedemic is trying to say that in a Universe where only physical laws were available and in relation to the models that we currently know work; they can't fly. (Wasn't that what they said about the Bumble Bee?)

/ it's nearly Christmas. Hic

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TfL deploys privacy-busting voyeurcam

Tim Schomer
Paris Hilton

Nah..

..Just one of them erotic vases

Obvious really

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Loud sex woman coughs to ASBO breach

Tim Schomer
Coat

It's got to be

either length, girth or money.

/ The one with the earplugs in the pocket please...

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Tim Schomer
Joke

Looks like

... Something from the pages of VIZ

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Thai firm flies in early-80s style keyboard PC

Tim Schomer
Thumb Up

Nice

If they can still keep the $99 pricetag when they bring it to Uk I'll have one, I'm sure with a USB Wireless card it'd be perfect by the TV (sadly we don't have Cat5 there). Maybee the V2 will have wireless built in.

Probability is we'll only ever get the XP version in the UK and it'll be priced at over £200 which will kill it before it can even get off the ground.

I'm also willing to bet that the linux crackers will start 'deconstructing' it for their own uses as soon as it's released.

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Ten grand - the cost of iPhone-induced sobriety

Tim Schomer
Pirate

Not Necessarily,

There are times when a stagger into work and hiding your head under the desk for a few hours are infinitely more preferable to the nagging of the other half (presumably for staggering home blotto, making any number of messes etc...)

Also, you will find that contractors won't EVER take a sickie unless they're halfway through death's door (it has been known for a few to be removed from their desks in a coffin/body bag).

/ Pirate icon due to alcohol poisoning....

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'CRU cherrypicked Russian climate data', says Russian

Tim Schomer
Alien

Isn't it strange...

That as this Climate conference in Denmark is drawing to a close,and agreements are starting to be signed, that there are more and more doubts being cast upon the 'solid scientific data' they claim to be using for their figures.

As Benjamin Disraeli (and later attributed to Mark Twain) commented 'There are Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics' - never a truer word spoken.

Unfortunately by the time the real figures are released and published, all the governments will have agreed deals between themselves and locked us into paying a fortune to reduce CO2 with no way of getting out of it. Half of them know they aren't going to get re-elected anyway so they don't care anymore.

{Alien icon 'cos I want off this rock. The climate's OK, just the other inhabitants that bother me.}

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Soot warming 'maybe bigger than greenhouse gases' - NASA

Tim Schomer
Black Helicopters

It Won't Happen!

There's no way the politicians will beleive this (or allow any of their followers to beleive it), the main reason? Because they're all on too much of a good thing with the CO2 scares (besides, any politician that publically denounces the CO2 problem would probably be lynched, albeit by his own kind).

They're using the CO2 argument to push through all sorts of taxes and new legislation 'fore the good od the planet'. If it's found that by cleaning up diesel exhaust fumes will provide a much quicker and more cost effifient solution (whilst we perfect the technology to deal with CO2 more effectively) half of them would be out of a job along with embarressing an awful lot of environmentalists, and we couldn't have that now could we....

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NHS hurls iPhone into booze abuse fray

Tim Schomer
Pint

Does it...

...have a button to randomly send the results to everyone in your address book?

Seriously though, it looks like the programmers are girly wine drinkers eho are only any good at algorithms and not databases, since it's just a really simple ratio comparisson programme. Now if they added all the major brands of drinks (Beers & Spirits mostly, the current setup is probably OK for wines) then it'd be more usefull (and interesting - was that carleburp or curling I just drank.....)

The only other drawback is that it doesn't know when one of your 'mates' adds a little something extra to your glass.

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Billionaire floats eco dream on sailing soda bottles

Tim Schomer
Coffee/keyboard

Is it only me...

...that needs a new keyboard now after reading that HP is one of their sponsors...

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Brussels agrees pan-European ID standard

Tim Schomer
Black Helicopters

Shouldn't that be...

STALK ?

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Security firm chokes sprawling spam botnet

Tim Schomer
Paris Hilton

1. Well Done

2. Part of the problem is the clueless users who will click on anything, and click on everything else when it doesn't respond immediately. Everyone buying or using a computer for the first time should be given an honest lesson on it's capabilityes and expectations by an independant agency. Then we might get somewhere.

3. Shoot companies who sell users software such as N****n Internet Security etc.... as a part of the package BUT DON'T PRE-INSTALL IT! (I hate it, but it could save some people) - If it's bundled, people think it's already there and they don't have to think about it, then said companies charge a small fortune for 'disinfecting' said machine (and more often as not charge them AGAIN for the software that was bundled)

</Rant>

Sorry, had to get that off my chest...

Paris 'cos, well, chest, Hur Hur - Sorry, got carried away there.

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Ralph Lauren says sorry for incredible shrinking pelvis

Tim Schomer
Paris Hilton

What this should say is - "We sacked those responsible and now have a new department head."

but I bet the department head is now in ine for a HUGE bonus for getting the company talked about more ("any advertising is good advertising - especially if it's free" I think that's they're motto).

To be honest the department head (and the photoshoppers) should be taken out and shot for crimes against the human body. As I recall even soldiers have a getout clause that they can use when they are ordered to do something that they believe is morally wrong to prevent them having to carry out orders that are 'flawed' (those in military service please correct me if I'm wrong) - why aren't the photoshoppers using the same sort of clause (or are they all just as sick as the marketeers they are working for?)

Why don't the marketeers look at the 'sex sirens' of the screen and stage for inspiration? (Marylin Monroe, Sophia Lauren, Charlotte Church et all) Real Men want Real Women, anything else is paedophillia - and we should hang the ad-men as such.

Even Paris has SOME curves about her....

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Doctor investigated for posting inkblots to Wikipedia

Tim Schomer
Paris Hilton

@Steve Evans

"To me number 10 looks like a carnival by the Eiffel tower!"

Thank God! I thought I was the only one..

Paris 'cos she's probably blotted a few things before.

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Model-slag blogger sues Google for blowing her cover

Tim Schomer
Paris Hilton

...still going to clubs at her age

And what's wrong with that may I ask, I'm 41 and I still go, although I'm male so that possibly says it all.

Paris, since she still goes......

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Nokia launches laptop

Tim Schomer
Paris Hilton

re: everyone who wants one has one

Yep, I got one, but in my case it's a 10 year old Thinkpad 240 A5 laptop. Does everything I want it to do so no reason to down^h^h^h^h upgrade.

Looks nice though...

Paris 'cos she's good at looking pretty without having any substance.

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First success for vulture breeding programme

Tim Schomer
Joke

@ Number6

"(but remember, they're noisy and they smell)"

Not sure who you're referring to, the vultures, their offspring or the Reg hacks (or their litters)

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Powered robot suits make debut on Tokyo streets

Tim Schomer
Pint

Looking at the uniforms...

These look like they'd be good for keeping the Police men and women on the beat longer (hopefully they can be programmed NOT to stop at donut shops).

Alternatively, if they improve stability they'd be absolutely perfect for an extended pub crawl.

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ICO finally gets new data protection penalty powers

Tim Schomer
Black Helicopters

I wonder...

...if the government is delaying this to ensure it won't get fined every day for data breaches? On second thoughts Nah, it'll never happen.

It always worries me when I hear the term 'Ministry of Justice', sounds a bit too much like something from Citizen Kane (feel free to substitiue different film/programme title - there's so many to choose from), it always instills a feeling of a Police State where Good Citizens Have Nothing To Fear. (Friend Citizen tell me about your neighbor...)

Oh, silly me, it's already here.

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Airbed-fixing German blows up mattress flat

Tim Schomer
Grenade

Explosion blew the wall into the stairwell...

Just how much tyre solvent did he use? If he used enough to make an explosive mixture that powerful I'm surprised it didn't poison him! (or at least give him a serious headache)

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Explosive French workers threaten second factory

Tim Schomer
Grenade

"give us more cash or we'll nuke central Paris".

Oooh please...

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The comic-book guide to SIM hacking

Tim Schomer
Pirate

"Get the kit..."

... Except the kit has sold out and none expected in for another 2 weeks. On the plus side, if the kit's made by AdaFruit industries it'll at least be of decent quality.

Now why couldn't this sort of thing been around a few years ago......

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BOFH: A spot of bother

Tim Schomer
Coffee/keyboard

Ahhhh...

Now I feel like the weekend's begun.

... tho' you owe me a keyboard now, managed to miss the screen this time. :-D

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Bloke uses nail clippers to go roundhead

Tim Schomer
Coat

Before anyone else starts

'He must feel a right Dick now...'

OK, OK, the one with the garden shears in the pocket...

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Tim Schomer
Paris Hilton

Just a thought,

if it gets infected & drops off, would he be elligible for a Darwin?

PH, 'cos she'd know a Cavalier from a Roundhead...

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EU plays catch up on mobile single charger standard

Tim Schomer
Boffin

Micro USB

My Camera uses Micro USB, not for charging but for data transfer. I tried to get a spare data lead for it (so I could use it at work without having to remove the memory card every time) and I couldn't get one anywhere.

The sooner more micro USB leads etc are available, the better for me.

To answer the question of why micro USB not mini USB, has anyone else seen the size of micro USB? it's seriously thin so a natural for phones since they're getting thinner all the time.

The other question is will adaptors be available so those of us with older phones can use the new default micro USB chargers? (bit like the adaptors available for older Nokia chargers to fit the new smaller connector on the newer phones).

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Nokia N97

Tim Schomer
Boffin

Nokia Memory issues

"It's three years since I experienced low memory dialog boxes on a Symbian phone"

One word - DevMan - I've run it on my last 2 Nokias and not had a memory issue since. Interesting to see what is left running very often. You very soon learn much better discipline with your operation of the device.

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BOFH: Stick this

Tim Schomer
Happy

Ahh....

Back to the good 'ol BOFH, that user was gaggin' for some .. uh .. re-education.

Must remember that fire extinguisher trick.....

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Carnalpedia: PR possibly premature

Tim Schomer
Coat

If this cums to fruition

... How long before it gets gobbled up and swallowed (pun intended) by the likes of Google...

/ the one with the Karma Sutra in the pocket please, ta.

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If they can break the law, why can't we?

Tim Schomer
Coat

@ I wonder if GB and his pals...

would care to look at a couple of references from art

1. The Who - Won't get fooled again - (meet the old boss, same as the new boss)

2. A well known author recently diagnosed with a nasty disease - what the people really want is for tomorrow to be very much the same as today. (Vetinari, if you hadn't guessed.)

3. Same author - Book - 'The Truth' read it and enough should be clear - there's too many references in there for me to quote - and here's probably a limit on posts...

A relatively balanced rough broad section with basically the same message... I wonder if the author has read Pratchett?

The one with the paperbacks in the pocket please (said he smiling at the sky)

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Paris loses her BlackBerry in Cannes hotel

Tim Schomer
Paris Hilton

Probably

able to lock the phone out on IMEI number (It's possible here in UK, so should be there) but this might not stip pilfering of the data, it's like a hard disk in a PC that won't boot-up again, you can always put the drive in another machine as a secondary and recover the data that way.

I foresee a LOT of urgent celebrity number changes VERY quickly. I also wonder how long before someone tries to sue...

PH - obvious innit'

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