* Posts by PassiveSmoking

571 posts • joined 29 Aug 2010

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Oracle lawyers prevail in copyright case (No, not that, the other one)

PassiveSmoking
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I have no idea who these guys are, but if Oracle are taking them to court then they must be the good guy. When one of the belligerents is Oracle then the other one is the good guy by default.

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Oi, Apple fanbois. Your beloved Jesus Phones are pisspoor for disabled users

PassiveSmoking
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Depends on the disability

I'm visually impaired to the point where I'll never be able to drive.

For me, the iPhone is by far the most accessible phone I've ever had. Apple put a lot of thought into the needs of the visually disabled with features such as full screen zoom, screen colour inversion, etc, all of which work even if the writer of a given app didn't give a toss about disabled people (most apps have hard-coded font sizes, for example, and ignore the font size you specify in settings).

Prior to getting my first iPhone (An iPhone 4) I had an android device (HTC Desire). That didn't have any accessibility features at all. Nothing. I don't know what the state of play is nowadays with android and accessibility but given that Apple were prepared to cater for my needs long before android were (assuming they've bothered to actually fix their lack of accessibility features) I don't really care. Apple catered for my needs, so they get my custom.

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Pluto's emitting X-rays, and NASA doesn't quite know how

PassiveSmoking
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Re: There was nothing in my horoscope about this this morning.

The same thing they make of all other astronomical discoveries. Complete and utter random nonsense.

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United States Air Force grounds F-35As after cooling kit cracks up

PassiveSmoking
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Re: Insult!

The Spruce Goose (real name Hercules) would be a better comparison. That was ridiculously over budget, so behind schedule that it missed the war it had been designed for, and barely worked with a service ceiling of about 30 feet.

Then again they did cancel that project and try to hold Howard Hughes to account when it bombed, whereas with this train crash they just keep doubling down and throwing so much money at it that the F22 actually looks like a bargain in comparison now.

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Encryption backdoors? It's an ongoing dialogue, say anti-terror bods

PassiveSmoking
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Re: @Ivan 4

I tend to favour the side that is basing its stance on mathematical facts (that you can't have secure encryption with more than 2 keys) than on the side that's basing its stance on the fact that they really really really want it and can just pass a law if they don't get their way.

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Daddy, what's 'P2P file sharing'?

PassiveSmoking
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Home taping is killing music!

Home baking is killing restaurants!

Home fapping is killing prostitutes!

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JDK 9 release delayed another four months

PassiveSmoking
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If Oracle poured half as much resource into developing Java as they have into suing Google over Java APIs we'd have reached the point where Java had become self-aware long ago. Thank goodness for Oracle's evilness being too petty to realise that.

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'What this video game needs is actual footage of real gruesome deaths'

PassiveSmoking
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How about vegan simulator?

You get to fill up your self-righteousness meter by being condescending and judgemental to people you don't know and haven't even met. Every time you get a press article printed in a publication that has nothing to do with veganism you get a "I trolled the media" achievement.

Also, you're armed with a lentil fart bomb that can clear the entire screen in seconds.

Bonus round consists of ploughing pedestrians down with your fixie as you ride it on the pavement in violation of all traffic laws. Double points for nailing partially sighted or blind people. Of course you can get killed if you go through a red light, but because of your crippling tofu addiction your colour vision has atrophied and all traffic lights look green to you.

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Airbag bug forces GM to recall 4.3m vehicles – but eh, how about those self-driving cars, huh?

PassiveSmoking
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preceded by a specific event impacting vehicle dynamics

What does that mean? Swerving? Braking hard? If you can't get your firmware updated soon should you just take your hands and feet off the controls in the event of an impending crash to ensure nothing affects the "vehicle dynamics"? What new horse poop is this?

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98.1 million CLEARTEXT passwords pasted as Rambler.ru rumbled

PassiveSmoking
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Any developer who stores passwords in cleartest...

...should be forbidden from going anywhere near anything more high-tech than an electric tin opener. The sheer idiocy of plain text password storage is staggering.

Just remember folks, every time you sign up for a new website/service/etc, you're relying that said service/website/etc was developed by somebody who was less of a tool than this guy.

Sleep tight!

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Childcare app bods wipe users' data – then discover backups had been borked for a year

PassiveSmoking
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Re: urrrm.....

Because there's absolutely no need whatsoever to encrypt a db backup full of intimate details of a load of children....

...wait.

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PassiveSmoking
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On the bright side...

... they can at least guarantee 100% data security.

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Is it time to unplug frail OpenOffice's life support? Apache Project asked to mull it over

PassiveSmoking
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Oracle's Fault

If you depend on any Oracle-owned "open source" software I'd be looking to migrate to something else if I were you. Postgres is way better than MySQL anyway. And I'm sure there must be some kind of decent open source alternative to VirtualBox.

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Microsoft thought of the children and decided to ban some browsers

PassiveSmoking
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Think of the market share

Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't there something going on in the 90s related to browsers and Microsoft? Something about antitrust? I don't think it was a big deal at the time so I might not be remembering it right.

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We want GCHQ-style spy powers to hack cybercrims, say police

PassiveSmoking
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Traditional law enforcement techniques are incapable of tackling the rise of cybercrime, according to a panel of drunkards gathered to waste a lot of taxpayer money on hookers and blow at the Chartered Institute of IT.

FTFY

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PassiveSmoking
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@commswonk

"And the evidence for this is?"

The body count the American police forces have racked up.

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Robot cars probably won't happen, sniffs US transport chief

PassiveSmoking
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Re: Cars with self-preservation

Didn't you ever see that episode of Knight Rider with KITT's Evil Twin? That was the result of programming the car with self-preservation.

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$329 for a MacBook? Well, really a 'HacBook' built on an old HP

PassiveSmoking
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The mac pro is a desktop, you prat. In fact it's a workstation.

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PassiveSmoking
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Apple don't seem to take the mac seriously any more. None of the range has had any significant update in years, and their last "pro" machine is unfit for use as a pro workstation. You can't even replace the GPU. That machine hasn't seen any updates at all for 3 years.

Apple might as well just admit they don't care about the Mac anymore and just license OSX to anybody who wants to run it on generic hardware. At least we can then have modern hardware to run OSX on without having to wait for Apple to throw us a bone

(Bitter Mac Pro 2008 owner with no upgrade path to speak of here)

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FBI: Look out – hackers are breaking into US election board systems

PassiveSmoking
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How are SQL injections still happening?

Seriously, this is a solved problem. It's been a solved problem for years. The only way this can happen is if the codebase is written by a completely ignorant prat who has never hears of input validation, parameterised SQL or prepared statements....

oh.

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EE looks at its call charges, hikes a bunch, walks off giggling

PassiveSmoking
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EE (T-mobile at the time) are the reason I ditched term contracts, switched to rolling contracts and just buy the phone myself.

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Kindle Paperwhites turn Windows 10 PCs into paperweights: Plugging one in 'triggers a BSOD'

PassiveSmoking
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Remember the Windows 98 demo where they tried to plug a USB device in and it bluescreened in front of an audience of hundreds?

You'd think MS would have learned a thing or two about programming USB drivers since then.

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Why Oracle will win its Java copyright case – and why you'll be glad when it does

PassiveSmoking
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Re: A bit surprised...

If you think writing an API is in the same intellectual league as doing concurrency that doesn't a) stamp all over its own state and blow up in a shower of corrupted heap and mangled stack frames, b) deadlocks or livelocks, c) do so much locking that it might as well be non-concurrent, d) leak memory/sockets/filesystem handles/any other finite resource and/or e) degenerate into an unmaintainable mess of spaghetti code then you're obviously not suited to API design, and I'd be inclined to doubt your qualifications to write concurrent code as well. All a good API takes is a bit of common sense (for example, always return an array if your call can return 0, 1 or n results. Don't return something other than an array if the output is 1 result (and yes, I have had to work with an API that did exactly that, resulting in having to do a lot of jumping through hoops that wouldn't have been necessary otherwise)). I'd seriously doubt the credibility of any developer that claimed API design was remotely as hard as concurrency.

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Oracle Java copyright war latest: Why Google's luck is about to run out

PassiveSmoking
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Re: Google should have got a license.

Are you a developer?

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PassiveSmoking
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First, 11K lines of actual code is tiny. 11 classes of 1000 lines each is pretty typical for a small blogging system or simple time logger or some such.

Second, this isn't even executable code. It's 11K of interfaces! In java an interface is like a dummy class (oversimplification, I know, but it will do) that contains nothing more than method signatures (What the method is called, what argument(s) it takes, what it returns and what exception(s) it can throw). An actual class has to implement the methods described in the interface. All it does is provide interoperability, because I don't have to care about the specifics of a given class other than knowing it implements a given interface. How it implements that interface is not relevant for me to consume the class's services.

Basically Oracle are trying to take Google to the cleaners for using a language feature designed to encourage interoperability to interoperate with their language.

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PassiveSmoking
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My impression is that it's just Oracle's lawyers bitching about failing to outlaw what's been common practice for decades (if you're not allowed to reverse engineer an API then the PC clone would never have happened and the world of computing would look very different, and probably be way more expensive than it is now), and they're clutching at straws.

The fact is that Google has done zero harm to Oracle. If anything they've revived their flagging fortunes regarding Java. It was already sinking into irrelevance by the time Android rolled around, and when it did suddenly there was demand for people with Java know-how again.

Fair use is fair. Deal with it.

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PassiveSmoking
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Re: I don't get it

It wouldn't. It's called "clutching at straws".

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UK's mass-surveillance draft law grants spies incredible powers for no real reason – review

PassiveSmoking
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Unhappy

Farewell, liberty

You will be mourned by all decent non-Daily Mail readers everywhere.

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Viscous liquid oozing down the walls? You must have hives

PassiveSmoking
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This sounds like a job for..

DOCTOR BEES!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc

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Researchers crack homomorphic encryption

PassiveSmoking
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Re: can't resist

I can only assume you do all your online banking and shopping in the clear then, if you don't think encryption is useful. That or you're Donald Trump or Theresa May.

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Oracle to shutter License Services division – source

PassiveSmoking
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Who gives a shit about Oracle? As long as they stop trying to totally fuck open source projects by throwing a shitton of money at them and then letting them die of neglect, or trying to totally fuck the entire software development industry with lawsuits against developers doing shit that developers have done for as long as there's been a concept of software engineering, I don't care if they fall into a black hole or if a U boat torpedoes Larry's stupid catamaran or anything else. Their influence ranges from irrelevant to toxic.

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Revealed: How a weather forecast in 1967 stopped nuclear war

PassiveSmoking
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Coat

I guess you could say that the solar storm of '67 really had the top brass... BMEWS-ed!

.... sorry. Mine's the one with radioactive lumps of glass in the pocket.

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Apple says banks can't touch iPhone NFC without harming security

PassiveSmoking
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Not really, this thing is a fingerprint scanner after all. If it leaks data it can potentially leak a very sensitive piece of personal biometric data that you then can't subsequently change. I think caution is warranted.

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Bungling Microsoft singlehandedly proves that golden backdoor keys are a terrible idea

PassiveSmoking
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The policy was effectively deactivated on these products

I don't know, doesn't sound that effective to me!

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Reactive? Serverless? Put to bed? What's next for Java. Speak up, Oracle

PassiveSmoking
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If they put as much effort into their own Java as they do into suing over APIs...

... we'd have God's own programming language by now.

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AdBlock Plus blocked in China: 159m forbidden from stripping adverts

PassiveSmoking
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Re: Hah Ha. Fuck off AdBlock Plus.

How much malware does your computer have on it? Because if you don't use an ad-blocker I'm betting it's got a lot.

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The developer died 14 years ago, here's a print out of his source code

PassiveSmoking
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Time to lawyer up, it sounds like you went above and beyond to even get their system as far as you did. To be given that kind of treatment in return is simply unacceptable.

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How the HTTPS-snooping, email addy and SSN-raiding HEIST JavaScript code works

PassiveSmoking
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Malicious ads can potentially masquerade as people

"Malicious ads can potentially masquerade as people online and grab their personal information from HTTPS-protected websites"

And this is why I'll never uninstall my ad blocker. I don't block ads because they're annoying (which they surely are), I block them because they're an untrustworthy menace.

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Crocodile well-done-dee: Downed Down Under chap roasted by exploding iPhone

PassiveSmoking
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In his pocket, burns like a rocket, his butt-hole's singed tonight

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F-35 targeting system laser will be 'almost impossible' to use in UK

PassiveSmoking
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We can't let you use this system yet...

... because the fact that we've sold you yet another overpriced lemon is "classified".

God I hate this plane and the money grubbing fools behind it.

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The dev-astating truth: What's left to develop? Send in the machines

PassiveSmoking
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Yawn

New day, same old crap.

I've been hearing predictions about how programming is going to cease to be an intellectual pursuit for years. Either it's going to be replaced with a load of pre-build modules that any idiot can assemble into some kind of super-uber-application (*cough* BPEL! *cough*) or it's all getting outsourced to India and now we're all going to be replaced by robots.

None of this has happened (except for some outsourcing to India for stuff that doesn't really matter that much, because most code produced at outsourced software houses is crap). BPEL and other such attempts at lego brick programming have all been abysmal failures (Seriously? A programming language implemented in XML? Couldn't anybody working on that see that it was an idea that should have been drowned at birth?) and I doubt AI is going to be any threat to my job so long as Siri can't tell "Play the song Ruby" from "Play with your boobies" (true story, Siri really did think I said the latter when I asked it to do the former once).

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All roads lead to Rome as Irish seminary gripped by Grindr scandal

PassiveSmoking
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Facepalm

Catholics

Fool around with consenting adults of the same gender, scandal.

Fool around with choir boys, swept under the rug.

What a lovely organisation.

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You think Donald Trump is insecure? Check out his online store

PassiveSmoking
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@cd

Would you like some soothing cream? Because that was a burn

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Death of 747 now 'reasonably possible' says Boeing

PassiveSmoking
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ETOPS

Engines Turn Or Passengers Swim

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Tesla autopilot driver 'was speeding' moments before death – prelim report

PassiveSmoking
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Coat

In Soviet Russia...

blueberries squash YOU!

Sorry...

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Wavering about Apple's latest security fix? Don't, says Talos

PassiveSmoking
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It's not too much complexity that's led to this

It's the same old mistakes that programmers keep making over and over and over again, namely a buffer overrun. So long as we insist on using C and its descendants and other languages that make the programmer manage memory themselves errors such as buffer overruns, stack overflows, heap corruption, dangling pointers, null pointers and double-frees are always going to be here.

What we need to acknowledge is that programmers are fallible and that some of the more mundane yet error-prone aspects of programming should really be taken out of the hands of programmers wherever possible. Managing memory yourself is something that you should only need to do in performance-critical code.

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What will laws on self-driving cars look like? Think black boxes and 'minimum attention'

PassiveSmoking
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Re: Pointless and expensive technology

I've got eyesight so bad I'm forbidden from ever holding a driver's license.

From my perspective, this tech would only be pointless if it always required a qualified driver sat in front of it for liability purposes. If it can be made to work with no human intervention at all then for me it becomes a shot at freedom.

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UK's climate change dept abolished, but 'smart meters and all our policies strong as ever'

PassiveSmoking
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They can in theory disconnect your services without a smart meter. However they never actually do cut you off because:

a) If there is somebody dependant on medical equipment at the address and they disconnect the electricity, they could be liable should they die as a result of being deprived of that equipment.

b) If they reconnect the gas supply while an appliance is on and there's nobody in the house, they could trigger a gas explosion.

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New Mars rover is GO for 2020 says NASA

PassiveSmoking
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Come on guys, there's 4 outer planets, dozens of moons and a cornucopia of kaiper belt objects, go and have a look at those for a while! I mean after the excitement New Horizons generated why isn't there a second Pluto/kaiper belt mission on the drawing board?

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Huge double boxset of Android patches lands after Qualcomm disk encryption blown open

PassiveSmoking
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Pass on the updates to their customers

"Meanwhile, Google is issuing a second string of patches that aren't going on general release: they'll be pushed out to Nexus owners and to hardware manufacturers who are expected to then pass on the updates to their customers."

Hahahahahaaa! Oh that's a good one. Especially if you own a Samsung device.

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