The Onion had the right idea
They ran an article about Americans getting together to hire a lobbyist to represent them in Congress.
84 posts • joined 26 Aug 2010
They ran an article about Americans getting together to hire a lobbyist to represent them in Congress.
You call it "Bing". We call it "Bung". We knew all about the goodness of corn before America was America. Mazola tastes fresh and good.
IMHO they actually *should* dump the whole of it online and let the consequences fall where they may. It would go a long ways towards an ethical cleansing in many countries, which the common people badly need.
" "Could you actually find someone who is worse?"
Caribou Barbie is still available...so yes, I guess we could."
Well, you know what they say -- "Shit floats."
I think its a great idea! It will up the quality! Of both of them! They can leverage their synergies!
I had noticed quite a stir among the neighborhood felines lately...
"I now want to see a picture of a truck frustrating purple."
That makes two of us. I'm sure there is a Playmobil scene for this..... somewhere.
Seconded -- El Reg needs a LOLcat icon
I've been saying for years that the way to defeat the Soviets is to drop a load of kittens on em. The ones that aren't overcome with a case of the "Aww, cute!" will instead be tripping over them and unable to go anywhere. Paris cuz its a lot of pussy.
EDIT TO ADD: Stadium-sized sandwich bag? Thats a mighty big sandwich, would that be the post-pub nosh?
"If the US would shift to a territorial scheme with a lower marginal rate, they would have a windfall of cash coming back to their shores."
Bullshit. I remember that tax holiday thing that Bush had. It all went to the shareholders and CxO's. Just like it always has.
I think the USA should do away altogether with corporate taxes and instead bring back tarriffs. Also, capital gains should be taxed like gambling.
Just wait till this starts getting round in the US mainstream media. We will be subjected to weeks of "analysis" from far right-wing nutjobs frothing at the mouth and raging on about how this is just a commie land-grab to pay for all those euro-fags socialized medicine because socialism is a failure and they're all a bunch of godless dystopian failed totalitarian states... BTW there are plenty of those who actually *believe* that.
"Well, as they say, "Nice guys finish last." When everyone else around you is cheating, undercutting your business,..."
Many people seem to think that this is a Law of Nature or something. It is not. "Just because everyone else is doing it" doesn't fly on a 3rd grade playground yet it is OK with adults for some reason.
The reason why nice guys finisgh last is because lobbyists are being paid to help executives "bend the rules". Regulations don't happen in a vacuum, they happen because some hyper-competitive asshole went too far and caused damage. Nobody sticks a gun to their heads and *makes* them behave like assholes. Collectively they choose to do so in a race to the moral bottom. This is not the way to build a stable society, or any civilization at all, in fact.
"... only many are already in too deep to bail out (it's the bread line if they do)." Many of their former employees are already in the bread line. What makes the CxO so special? Why is the risk they took worth more than mine? Can't they do a bread line too?
"$30K, that's ideal under our new socialist regime. He gets to keep most of it and he might even get free health insurance that's better than the crap on the "marketplace". Get used to it, find a cheap place to live, do without a car... or go full expat."
Ahem.... more than half of our former middle class *already lives like this* under a very capitalist regeime... and going even more to the right for the last 30 yrs or so. Try again.
I was going to say this. Let me expand on it a bit. These are the guys who paid the lobbyists, to lobby the cogress to pass these3 H1B expansions laws. But no, they can't be responsible, business made them do it </sarc>
"Nobody actually pays on a personal level."
IMHO this is precisely the problem with both the US Govt *and* businesses
This makes no difference because you will still be subject to the IRS regardless of which state you form your corporation in.
... and how many days did HSBC get for laundering drug money? Or any of the big banks involved in the financial crisis? What about their executives, *somebody* has to be responsible for corporate decisions after all, even if they aren't held accountable to it.
American National standard screw threads of the Sellers form were standardized by an act of Congress back in the late 1800's. In 1949 the Unified system which is based on a modified Sellers thread was adopted by the english-speaking world due to small but expensive incompatibilities which came to light during the War production.
In fact yes, I am a pro mechanic/millwright.
Wait a minute. These guys couldn't do anything about some clown bombing the Boston Marathon, despite having the case handed to them. And yet they are at the theater in *seconds* to apprehend and grill an otherwise innocent man? Its obvious who has been bought and paid for.
BTW its also obvious that many people didn't read the article -- and if they did, the fail at reading comprehension. The man offered his glasses during interrogation, and none of the movie was found -- only some family pics. Aslo, the ICE/DHS/FBI absolutely does have jurdistiction -- however the way they went overboard for the MPAA is suspicious.
Under the law it absolutely is legal to make a personal copy for ones own private use al long as one has paid for/ has a license to the original BTW but that never stopped the MPAA. They want a nickel every time *anything* is viewed.
My all-time favorite... this so makes my day that I printed it out and tacked it up an the wall over my desk...
"8,639 of 8,927 people found the following review helpful
Ideal Gift For Your Congressional Representatives
By DeleriouslyHappyTaxPayer on October 3, 2013
The reviews are so helpful. It is so difficult to be sure you are buying something over the internet that is exactley what you are searching for.
I am sending a bag of these to every member of Congress to show my deepest gratitude.
45 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No "
It will be days before I stop laughing, I may try the same thing... I see that Amazon staff are helping another serious inquiry on a similar mission... ElReg may have some Congressional news shortly.
You have just made my day. It's almost as bad as a threesome with Margaret Thatcher and Janet Reno.
The good news is, when the feds catch him hee won't be going back to the same prison. Instead he'll be going to a max security pound-me-in-the-ass place for hardened crims. The sort of place with stone walls and razor wire. The Feds tend to take a dim view on escapeees...
I gave a copy of SuSE linux to my (then) 75 yr old Dad to install, all by himself, on his new, no-name generic PC. It went just fine, printing, sound, video, etc. No problems whatsoever. He taught himself the commandline in addition to using KDE, and now he has a Mac.
I rest my cake.
Anyone remember that Groklaw is archived at the Library of Congress? This move will be archived also. This means that this will become a permanent stain on US democracy, and historians will know where to look. PJ is basically making a statement and changing history by demonstrating how the internet routes around damage.
Is this what they mean by "tube steak" in this the year of our lord 2013?
Maybe he was scratching an itch. Vigorously.
They're obligated to disclose them to the infringers or face the prospect that they can't enforce on that group of infringers. Laches takes place at this point because they've been playing this game for 5+ years and not told the AOSS or Linux communities what's actually infringing only that we are. Clearly not legit.
The companies, so long as they're participants in full of those said communities, they've effectively got a Laches case and don't need to sign the NDA OR any agreements. I'm strongly suspecting B&N's legal team saw this and it's part of why they told MS to go pound sand.
Re: …And we still have no idea what these patents are
It's not really your business what patents they are is it?"
It damn well is my business if you're expecting me to pay anything for them.
But, how can that "free" stuff *possibly* be of higher quality ?!! After all, this has a big corp backing it up, and we *paid* for it!!
*please* pull Fox, oh please....
"Interesting. Can I ask what brand of phone you use? It must not be a Samsung then. I've seen those launch events and they're just as "bad" as Apple, endless droning on about how they're redefining experiences and inspired by nature and other marketing drivel. So I'm curious, which company do you support that doesn't do this?"
My phone was made in 1975 by Western Electric on behalf of Bell Telephone. Its a desk model in the generic office beige color. I don't own a mobile phone, nor do I have any plans to. There simply isn't any need for one.
It wasn't until after the breakup of Ma Bell and the Eternal September (AOL) that advertising started to become truly obnoxious. During that time frame I noticed that Answering machines began to become popular and common. At the same time, telemarketing and spamming became epic for some reason... I think that all these events are correlated.
You seem to think it was Apple's god-given right to rip off Xerox PARC's "gui with a mouse" idea for computing. Notice that Xerox didn't sue, for whatever reason. The rest of the world (those of us who actually remember history) have been gracious enough not to call Apple out so far.
My position is, I don't care who invented what, its a case of the pot calling the kettle black and Apple should therefore shut up. Oh and FWIW, I don't even *own* a mobile phone, never have and I don't intend to start. I have no use for them. My phone sits on a table and was made in 1974, still works just fine.
Re: So which way do you want to have it?
Then why aren't you mad at Samsung for inviting these lawsuits?
Nobody *made* apple sue. But anything that apple does is perfectly OK, right? Gotcha.
Its not a question of BS detector (its just fine, thanks). Its a question of honesty. I refuse to do business when the dishonesty rises above a certain level.
And I fees sorry for you whose world view is so jaded that dishonesty is the expected norm.
But I *don't* want an Iphone. I want a Samsung. Deal with it.
""Really, is Apple "supposed to" innovate? According to whom? The Bible? Your mom?
Apple can do as they damn well please. There is no requirement for them to innovate anything. ""
According to themselves. They shout loudly enough about innovation in their adverts and in their stores. Its probably in their corporate charter. They are shouting about their innovation in this court case, and to the USPTO.
Well, they don't *have* to innovate... but then they would be lying hypocrite asses , wouldn't they?
I *so* wish something like this would happen in the US.... but that would require unicorns, fairies and dragons...
You call it Bing. We call it Bung.
Somebody needs to remind this clown that "ubuntu" is afrikaans for "I can't install debian"
If Dell keeps buyinhg himself, he's gonna go BLIND!!
"Maybe Dell just wants to sell at a local maxima, and when "the deal" falls through, buy back again on the minima.... pump and dump, rinse and repeat, eventually he gets the brass enchilada."
If you keep buying yourself lke that, eventually you'll go blind.
""Lets save the deadly force for people who are trained (who even despite this still miss or hit innocents and they have more training then bubba does) have the consent of the people to use""
Oh, you mean like the CCW pistol permit? The license that pistol owners are required to obtain, through an extensive training course and background check? The training that is taught by policemen, and also taken by policemen?
We *already* have all these safeguards. In this case, the fact that the nutter is still alive is due to this fact.
"I believe gun-owners should be licensed and be trained as part of the process, that is the one major addition I would make to US gun law. Proper training includes situational assessment before pulling the trigger. "
Oh, you mean like the CCW pistol permit? The license that pistol owners are required to obtain, through an extensive training course and background check?
Matt, we *already* have all these safeguards. The fact that the nutter in this case is still alive is due to this fact.
Onan the barbarian developed opposable thumbs in order to whack it better. Imagine what it must be like to fap without the benefit of thumbs. It almost makes you cry, no? But nay, we overcame adversity! Fapping is an essential survival skill, for keeping an even temperament and surviving a partnership in which you're not getting any. Which both are desirable traits for selection in this day and age. Notice how the ladies are drawn to an even-tempered steady mate. How do you think he got that way!? Opposable thumbs of course!
Let's face it -- everyone does it. Every single man that you have ever shook hands with, has fapped with that hand.
Have a nice day!