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* Posts by dotdavid

1169 posts • joined 28 Jul 2010

Oracle: Google impurifying media's precious bodily fluids

dotdavid
Thumb Up

Re: Simpler Explanation

> Or they are just ticked off by the horrendous pile of kludge upon kludge that is Oracle SQL.

Or indeed any of their products. Weblogic, OAS, I'm looking at you...

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‘Cash for comment’ journos, bloggers under spotlight in Oracle-v-Google

dotdavid
Black Helicopters

Re: Voluntary....

Interesting that El Reg has put such a positive spin on the situation regarding ol' Florian. Interesting, but hardly surprising considering how his witterings have been reported in these hallowed web-pages in the past.

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O2 joins pocket hotspot party

dotdavid

Re: May I ask what the point of these things are?

If it was SIM unlocked it might be useful abroad, if you bought a local PAYG data SIM but wanted to keep your UK SIM in your phone for people to phone you on, using your existing UK number. Then your phone can use data cheaply still. I have an unlocked spare Android handset for this purpose.

But I agree, apart from that there aren't so many compelling use-cases.

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India: We DO have the BlackBerry encryption keys

dotdavid
Facepalm

How It Actually Went

Government Lawyer: We need the Blackberry encryption keys.

RIM India: Sorry we can't give you them. They're owned and generated by each individual organisation that uses our sof...

Government Lawyer: I don't care about that. We *need* the keys.

RIM India: But I told you we don't have...

Government Lawyer: Let me put it this way; give us the keys, or go to prison.

RIM India:I don't... well [thinks for a second] um, okay, here are the keys.

Scribbles random characters on a bit of paper and passes it over to the lawyer

Government Lawyer: See how much easier things are when you co-operate with us?

RIM India: *sigh*

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Lords call for the end of TV transmissions

dotdavid
Thumb Up

What YouView should have been?

Not sure whether it'll ever work in the medium term as a *replacement* for broadcast TV, but I think all the Freeview/Freesat channels should be strongly encouraged to provide an IPTV service. TVCatchup.com is all very well but an official standards-based IPTV, that you could buy a standard box for that plugged into your broadband, would be absolutely brilliant.

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Google taking orders for Kansas City gigabit fiber network

dotdavid
Thumb Down

Re: A Bargain!

Well why wouldn't people get the bargain Google "spynet" and spend a little more on a VPN then, if they're that concerned. Would still be cheaper than the competition.

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How do you measure up at the Olympics?

dotdavid
Pint

Re: Just Seen Proper Use of El Reg Units by BBC

As someone who often misses a target the size of a beermat from a distance of several pint glass lengths I find that particularly impressive, and it is nice to see it being described in units I understand.

Cheers.

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dotdavid
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Re: Accuracy

"Not entirely sure how you plan to "fix" 100m sprints for example, other than potentially introducing pursuit cheetahs, or a custard track"

How about a mandatory Benny-Hill-style Yakety Sax soundtrack?

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Twitter airport bomb joke conviction binned in common-sense WIN

dotdavid
FAIL

Re: Frankie Boyle...

I know Frankie Boyle isn't my sort of humour but we should defend his right to say unfunny and potentially hateful things and not be jailed for it. He will be judged by the public and his potential customers (who may, for example, decide not to support his work if he says something nasty about the disabled).

Not being able to tell the difference between what's not funny and what's criminal is exactly the sort of thing that got us into this ridiculous mess regarding the airport bombing joke tweet of Mr Chambers. I would suggest you try to avoid the same mistake.

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Web giants bag former US gov advisor to head up lobbying group

dotdavid

Internet Association? I hope they have a LOLcat mascot.

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Chunnel 3G launched for channel hoppers

dotdavid
Coat

Pah. French speaking people evidently don't have much experience of the overcrowding on British trains then do they! I think it would be much comfier on top, especially in this weather ;-)

Mine's the one with the cattle class ticket in the pocket.

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Girls tricked by STEAMY message: Webcam spyware student jailed

dotdavid
Thumb Up

Re: seriously?

Yeah I would have expected a much lower success rate. Unless they all phoned him up perhaps and asked him what to do, and he said "well when it happens to me I just bring it into the bathroom with me when I take a shower"

"And make sure the camera is pointing at the shower not at the wall"

Hmm, so still unlikely then.

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Captain Cyborg accepts another degree from puny humans

dotdavid
Terminator

Removed

"Last year we noted how Wikipedia's entry for Britain's Greatest Living Scientist had been miraculously cleansed of any controversy or criticism of Warwick's work or public statements. The following passage, the last remnant of any disquiet amongst Warwick's scientific peers, was subsequently removed"

It was removed because the wikipedia bots are part of the forthcoming robopocalypse and won't stand for criticism of quislings like Captain Cyborg.

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Amazon crimps free Kindle 3G surfing

dotdavid
Unhappy

A shame

But it was always going to happen eventually.

Does go to show the potential demand for a global cheap mobile data supplier though. With PAYG data getting quite cheap now (for residents of the country, anyway) I'm quite surprised no-one has yet done this well.

Something for Apple or Google to spend their money on perhaps?

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Cops shutter net cafes to save Beijing's youth

dotdavid
Meh

"it’s interesting to see the reason given this time is protecting “the physical and mental health of young people”."

The reason doesn't matter - it could be "to show greater understanding for the perils of too much EM radiation" for all the difference it makes. The joys of having an autocratic government.

Still, at least they don't have Zil lanes and are allowed to use the word Olympics in the net cafes that survive, eh? ;-)

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Forget widgets, invest in staff say Black Hat alumni

dotdavid
Unhappy

But...

... the kickbacks and freebies from widget-sellers are so pretty. Plus people don't tend to have a glossy brochure. No, I can't see PHBs going for it.

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Virgin Media's 'bye-bye to buffering' beardy Bolt boast BANNED

dotdavid
Stop

"It's an expensive mistake for VM"

Why? Did the ASA fine them? I thought they were just slapped on the wrist and told not to show an advert that had already run its' course and so was no longer being shown anyway. Apart from the Virgin reps' time I can't see where the expenses are.

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Nearly half of Google's Moto gobble cash was spanked on patents

dotdavid
Stop

Re: $5.5bn - but what are they actually worth?

I'm hoping they'll ultimately be found to be worth $0, along with all of Apple's patents. Then finally the industry can get on with making cool gadgets again rather than making ridiculous lawsuits.

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Google Nexus 7 blighted by brightness blunder

dotdavid
Thumb Up

Re: Hmmm....

Google is full of clever people, but being clever doesn't mean you have to have any common sense.

Don't get me wrong; I'm an Android owner and have been since the beginning, but as the OP says there are things that baffle me.

- NTP support in Honeycomb, but it defaults to using NITZ if you have a cell connection which is often laughably wrong.

- The lack of microSD slots on the latest Nexii devices.

- Why the Google+ mobile client changes design every two weeks (currently on a rubbish "display massive thumbnails of text and images which means you can't skim-read" design)

- Why it's taken so long to allow developer replies to Android Market comments.

...and a million other things.

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EU edges toward dropping Google 'abuse of dominance' charges

dotdavid
WTF?

Face lengthy proceedings?

As opposed to, well, facing justice?

Regardless of your views on this, it says a lot about the Commission methinks.

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Indian outsourcers Infosys outsource to WISCONSIN

dotdavid
Joke

Do they have to pretend they're actually in India rather than in the customer's home city?

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Google asks YouTube commenters to stand up and be counted

dotdavid

NEVER!

You will never uncloak my anonymity!

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Virgin Media staves off cable punter seepage

dotdavid

Re: The next quarter will be worse

Of course people in my area can get a speed upgrade right now - by getting a new contract with them. It's obvious which customers they care about (hint: new ones).

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dotdavid

Re: if it wasn't for the hassle of...changing our emails

Agreed. But if you *do* use a service provider's email, you could always set up a gmail account or whatever and set it up to check the provide email using POP. I set this up in Gmail for my inlaws who previously used Sky's email service - almost three years since they moved broadband provider and Sky have yet to close their email accounts.

Granted Gmail could be shut down but I find that unlikely, at least while email is still in use. But if you're feeling paranoid you could always buy your own domain for redirection of email to whatever account you're currently using.

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dotdavid
FAIL

"But the telco said this figure is far fewer than 36,000 customers who scarpered from the company in the same three-month period a year ago"

The spokesperson went on to explain "We did this by tricking helping our customers by telling them they could have a free HD box, and then once they'd received their box and started using it pointing out that the terms and conditions say that the 'HD activation' actually tied them into another 12 month contract", before commencing an extended bout of diabolical laughter.

However when asked, the spokesman was less convinced about Virgin's current strategy being viable in the near future. "I think we might need to scam encourage our customers to take out 18 or 24 month contracts in the future, by bumping the price of the 12 month contracts well up. This should help with customer retentions for the next couple of years at least."

"We might also be able to pull a fast one by changing the price of the contract mid term, citing some crap about inflation" they added thoughfully.

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4G? Pah! Boffins charge up the dial to 5G data EXTREME-band kit

dotdavid
Thumb Up

You're right Morg. I doubt we'll fully comprehend the dangers of railway travel while the exploitative railway barons are still around to suppress the scientific evidence against it.

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dotdavid
Black Helicopters

Forget electromagnetic hypersensitivity - what about outlawing those satanic railways? The Human body was not designed to travel at such speeds - some claim that your soul is literally ripped from your body when you do. Who knows how new faster trains will affect us!

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Ofcom saves piece of 4G spectrum pie for '4th operator'

dotdavid

My burning question

Will 3 change its' name to "4", "3/4" or "7" (although what with it probably being 3.5G perhaps "6.5" would be more appropriate) if it starts operating 4G services?

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UK Border Agency to create 'national allegations database'

dotdavid
Big Brother

I think the people who come up with these ideas are the same ones that came up with the names for "The Postcode Lottery" and "Big Brother" - they'll read a report or cautionary tale, not understand it, but think it has a catchy name.

"National allegations database? I read something about it being big in Germany, sounds like a great idea!"

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HTC disses Dr Dre by diluting Beats deal

dotdavid
Facepalm

Re: Looks like HTC

He's still takin' time to perfect the Beats.

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Android 4.1 Jelly Bean review

dotdavid
Thumb Up

Re: "Far more useful is the new off-line voice typing facility"

I'm also thinking that maybe some kind of live subtitling app would be possible, very handy for the deaf I would imagine.

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Vodafone Oz pulls claim of Android 4.1 emergency call problems

dotdavid
Megaphone

So Vodafone screwed up, and rather than doing what normal people would do (updating the post with a note that says sorry we screwed up) they deleted it and pretend it never existed, using the catch-all phrase "technical issues" to describe what went wrong.

Nothing to see here, move along.

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GPS-equipped sheep prove herd mentality exists

dotdavid
WTF?

Huh?

Why'd they need to put GPS trackers on a herd of sheep to prove they bunch up and start bleating when there's a sheepdog around? Couldn't they just watch the sheepdog trials on TV?

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ITC was wrong: Apple, RIM owe us $1bn for that patent – Kodak

dotdavid
Trollface

"Kodak filed for bankruptcy back in January and sees its patent portfolio as the main way to dig itself out of the red so it can re-build as a printer company, leaving photography behind."

And the rest of the world sees its patent portfolio as a large horde of overly-broad descriptions of obvious things that Kodak can use, through the income from lawsuits, to make up for its recent woeful lack of competitiveness and genuine innovation.

Troll icon because it is sad when companies have to turn into them to survive.

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EMC's creepy challenge: Give Big Data a 'human face'

dotdavid
Childcatcher

And its' eyes are too close together.

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Amazon erects 'digital hub' near Silicon Roundabout

dotdavid
Thumb Up

Re: Amazon's UK headquarters remain in Slough.

Qantas should open an office in Loughborough.

"Er... a first class return to, er, lugger-bor-ugger please mate"

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Google plucks Gmail app maker Sparrow from the sky

dotdavid

Bigger vision

"Now we're joining the Gmail team to accomplish a bigger vision — one that we think we can better achieve with Google"

"...and that is to build the world's largest bank vault, fill it full of money and swim around in it all day while quaffing champagne and munching caviar".

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JELLYFISH bio-bot built with rat cells to mend broken hearts

dotdavid
Headmaster

Your welcome what?

I like to think it is short for "your welcome will ensure your survival when the day of the jellipocalypse arrives"

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SanDisk: Yargh, nobody does SD-cards bundled with phones anymore

dotdavid

"nobody does SD-cards bundled with phones anymore"

Surely you mean "nobody does *low-capacity SD-cards we can't normally shift ourselves* bundled with phones anymore"? I doubt they were selling them for much anyway.

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Google HARVESTS African mobile numbers with Gmail SMS

dotdavid
Unhappy

Aw, that was the funniest series of comments I've seen all year. Now the joke doesn't really work :-(

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dotdavid
Happy

STOP

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Scotland Yard collars seventh computer-hack suspect

dotdavid
Coat

"El Reg asked Murdoch's News International to comment on this story, but at time of writing it hadn't got back to us."

I'm sure when they're up for parole they'll get back to you.

Sorry, couldn't help myself ;-)

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Pure Stream takes on AirPlay

dotdavid
Facepalm

"Avoid the Apple tax"

...and pay the Pure tax instead? What exactly is the point of that?

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Compare the Market loses .XXX smut-squat appeal

dotdavid
Coat

Personally

I think those CompareTheMeerkat people should be sued, they're blatantly ripping off CompareTheMarket.

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Judge: Apple must run ads saying Samsung DIDN'T copy the iPad

dotdavid
Facepalm

Re: I laughed SOOOO hard!!!

"Sure, the judge would probably get paid the same for any other trial, but surely these cases are much easier than other ones he could get given."

No you're right, actual proper crimes are very difficult to judge - I for one would much rather have all our judges tied up in the judging of frivilous patent lawsuits.

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Sony: Walkman, meet Android

dotdavid

Re: Samsung did it first

Couldn't you just download another audio player that *did* let you edit the playlist? If it was like the Galaxy S it would have had the Market wouldn't it?

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Humanity increasingly sitting on collective arse

dotdavid
Pint

Years off your life

The way I see it, having a slothful peaceful but unhealthy lifestyle might take years off my life, but it'll be the crap years at the end when I can't get around properly and need help to visit the loo.

I may as well fill my reduced life with some nice food and less effort, as long as it is kept in moderation.

Beer icon 'cos it's bad for you but nice.

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Study: Users prefer Google+ over Facebook

dotdavid
Big Brother

" the Chocolate Factory's fledgling social network scores top marks in customer satisfaction, leaving Facebook far behind"

Wait, did they poll the users or the customers, because we all know they're different people...

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Nasa guides Mars Rover with Kinect

dotdavid
Thumb Up

"The game - a joint venture with Smoking Gun Interactive - puts players through the "seven minutes of terror" landing procedure"

Better than the "several years of tedium" second stage of the game, as players have to painstakingly collect and catalogue rock samples while avoiding difficult terrain, Martian storms and system malfunctions, I guess.

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