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* Posts by Joe Harrison

343 posts • joined 1 Jun 2007

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Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE

Joe Harrison

Re: Speedo?

Yes it is, maybe not the speedo but the other stuff. I've had my car for six years and the heater is so fiddly I still can't do it without looking carefully.

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WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups

Joe Harrison

Re: Blind date?

Think you misspelled ambidickstrous.

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Hey, Scots. Microsoft's Bing thinks you'll vote NO to independence

Joe Harrison

bing ka-shing!

Never used Bing but if it can accurately answer any natural language query about Scotland then I'm heading over there right now with mine.

"OK Bing what will be tonight's winning lottery numbers Scotland?"

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Hate Facebook? Hate it enough to spend $9k fleeing it? Web 'country club' built for the rich

Joe Harrison

Been there done that

Just around Y2K I was working for an organisation that wanted to sell what would today be called "private facebooks" to professional membership organisations. It was not a bad idea from the perspective of that time but ultimately failed.

The only point of being on a facebook or a linked-in or a <next big thing here> is that everyone else is on it. Who wants a phone that can only dial a closed group. Sorry but this is doomed.

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Got your NUDE SELFIES in the cloud? Two-factor auth's your best bet for securing them

Joe Harrison

Re: While you're offering advice...

Maybe join a gym and cut down on the cakes?

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Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer

Joe Harrison

cashback disaster

Not pointing at any particular phone retailer but many of them had a terrible reputation for using technicalities to avoid paying the "cashback when you send us your fourth monthly bill" style of rebates which were popular a few years back. Alleged victims spread the news and I believe that permanently and severely depressed a lot of their repeat business.

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Joe Harrison

Re: re.. simfree

Aha not so much a Flashing Blade then as one of us Potato Peelers. I know the Huawei G300 quite well and I would respectfully suggest that it is the wrong side of the speed and usability line by now and you might usefully spend the 60-80 quid at Tesco for the non-LTE Moto G.

As far as Phones 4U is concerned I hated it when went there once and failed to buy a phone for one of the kids so never went back. My last three phones came unlocked either from Tesco online or from Chinese websites so I can't say I understand the need for high street phone shops, nor for direct sales from the networks. So long as cheap PAYG continues to be available that is all I need.

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Apple Watch will CONQUER smartwatch world – analysts

Joe Harrison

Sleeping

I'm a huge fan of the "sleep analyser" apps such as Sleep As Android. They rely on motion sensors which means you rather inconveniently have to keep your phone in bed with you. It would be quite a win to avoid that by having the app use the watch sensors instead. See? I found an actual use for it.

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This flashlight app requires: Your contacts list, identity, access to your camera...

Joe Harrison

Not as big a problem as it looks

You could always reflash your phone with Cyanogenmod, whose built-in "Privacy Guard" allows you to set a default "no access" for apps. It's not a perfect solution but takes care of the major risks.

The message in the article is right though in that most of the apps which over-enthusiastically grab permissions never actually attempt to use those permissions. On a few occasions privacy guard does pop up "this app is trying to access your contacts" or some such with no valid reason. Answering "no" mostly seems to crash the app unfortunately.

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BBC Trust candidate defends licence fee, says evaders are CRIMINALS

Joe Harrison

The BBC is working as hard as they can to put a stop to that! Used to be FTA all over Europe and immensely valuable to groups of expat British people, the largest of which is probably in southern Spain.

Retirees are crying in their cervezas however now that the BBC managed to shrink Astra 2E's footprint such that UK telly does not work there any more. Well not unless you have a Jodrell Bank sized dish at least.

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Joe Harrison

You can't avoid it by not watching BBC

I've got a dish pointed at a satellite which serves another country, guess what I now count as a license payer and the BBC get my money.

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You are here => Earth is in 'the suburbs' of an IMMENSE HEAVEN

Joe Harrison

Exactly. Nothing could possibly be that big, which proves we are living in a simulation.The operators of the simulator are not allowed to tell us that directly but the hundred quadrillion bit is their subtle hint. QED.

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Siri: Helpful personal assistant or SERIAL APP KILLER?

Joe Harrison

Paranoid, moi?

You would be entering a large number of voice samples... would there be a back door uploading them to train someone's vocal recognition system? Your burner phone would no longer fool them would it.

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Top beak: UK privacy law may be reconsidered because of social media

Joe Harrison

He wha?

"If I want to do or say something which I am only prepared to do or say privately, then it is an interference with my freedom of expression if I cannot do it or say it because it will be reported in a newspaper," he said.

How does he work that one out? It's not true just because he says it is.

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Reg man looks through a Glass, darkly: Google's toy ploy or killer tech specs?

Joe Harrison

Re: Well, no I'm not in favour of thumping people as a general rule but.......

I'm not sure people would thump you in reality, although as you have set the location to be a bar who knows what people will do when they've been drinking.

There is a guy in America who gets someone to film him as he walks through Da Hood filming strangers. Predictably they mostly do all get immediately violent, some of them even pulling guns. I prefer to think UK bods would be a bit more like "now look here old chap".

Regardless, I think if you actually did thump someone merely on the grounds that they might have been filming you then you would be getting your collar felt shortly afterwards.

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

Joe Harrison

Of course it is real, there can be no doubt

It's real alright. It is obvious and happening right in front of your eyes how could it not be real.

The problem comes when you discover how hard it is to come up with an adequate definition of "real" (hint: there isn't one).

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Joe Harrison

the real reason

I work a lot with public-facing entertainers outside of the music industry and they too went through a phase of "please don't put it on youtube". They didn't want everyone to be completely familiar with their act when they do it again next time somewhere else.

As I say it was a phase and has now largely gone away - firstly they know it is a lost cause and secondly they found the exposure was beneficial and didn't impact future audiences.

Not disagreeing that people with cameras during the actual performance are very annoying.

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Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

Joe Harrison

Why did the chicken only cross half-way?

It was a Rhode Island red

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It's time for PGP to die, says ... no, not the NSA – a US crypto prof

Joe Harrison

Re: He's right! PGP sucks to use!

PGP just does not work for normal people.

I have no problem setting up my own mail environment for both PGP and S/MIME security but I only know about two other people in my social circle who would be able to read it if I actually did send them an encrypted message. So what practical use is that?

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Govt control? Hah! It's IMPOSSIBLE to have a successful command economy

Joe Harrison

The internet

Have we so soon forgotten the central planning to create the internet? No... because there wasn't any... I am always astounded that such a big complex system that "just works" (for the most part) in over 9000 countries had no real plan.

Think about it though the internet was not Soviet-style centrally-planned, but neither was it really built by capitalism. A true co-operative effort is the best way I can think of it and that's the model I personally would like to see for the economy generally.

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Amazon smacks back at Hachette in e-book pricing battle: We're doing it for the readers

Joe Harrison

I don't get it

If you look inside one of these here "e-books" do you know what it is filled with? Words, that's what.So many words in fact that it reminds you strongly of that "interweb" thingy which is also ankle deep in words. What is the difference between e-book internet words and normal internet words? Apart from one being 20% vattable.

In any case wasn't The Internet supposed to link us all together and eliminate the need for middle men such as Hachazon?

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Ancient pager tech SMS: It works, it's fab, but wow, get a load of that incoming SPAM

Joe Harrison

Kevin Holley = top bloke

I used his SMS daemon in the 1990s to provide web->SMS for our entire company.

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Joe Harrison

Re: How to cut SMS spam volumes by 90%

Wouldn't that happily cause problems?

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Astounding: We're about to stick a probe in orbit of a COMET

Joe Harrison

Why do they never tell you why?

A massive amount of effort and planning so they can land on a space rock and take samples. Surely the samples will turn out to be the sort of materials you do normally expect to find in rocks? "Yep! It's a rock alright!" Or are they hoping to find something different and exciting?

For the benefit of us non-rock(et)-scientists... why exactly are they doing this?

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Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK

Joe Harrison

It's a slippery slope

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REGULAR FISTING is GOOD for your HEALTH, says respected surveyor

Joe Harrison

Re: embarrasing

A couple of my fingers are a bit sore, dunno why maybe RSI or touch of arthritis. They are fine and I don't bother unless I actually whack them one when yes it does hurt. Believe me I really hate shaking hands with the bonecrushing types who have read too many Top Business Tips and are terrified of showing weakness by presenting a limp handshake. Can't be just me?

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Whoah! How many Google Play apps want to read your texts?

Joe Harrison

The way I limit this

1. Cyanogenmod "privacy guard" natively allows you to prevent apps looking at your private stuff, contacts etc. regardless of what permissions the app thinks it has.

2. Use a PAYG SIM and not put much credit on it. That way a rogue premium dialler can at worst cost me ten quid or so.

Not saying this is a complete fix but it prevents the two most heinous problems.

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French telco takes on US rival Netflix... with whose dongle?

Joe Harrison

Broadcom 7225

Really?

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MonkeyParking FLINGS AWAY San Francisco service

Joe Harrison

Re: Our Mission

If you've ever driven round for ages not being able to find a parking space you surely would agree that something - anything - to match up spare spaces with frustrated drivers would be useful. A pity really but you have to agree with Charles Manning that this would be a recipe for a punch-up the first time it went wrong.

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Google de-listing of BBC article 'broke UK and Euro public interest laws' - So WHY do it?

Joe Harrison

not illegal

How can it be illegal for Google to remove one of its own links? The EU ruling just says that Google must remove a link if an individual requests it, unless there is a public interest angle. The ruling does not say the opposite (that if there is public interest then the link must remain.)

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Joe Harrison

Re: Things that make me weep

I have been there though :(

Tech Guy A, not stupid, but there are some things nobody has told him about so obviously he doesn't know. Such as their in-house SSH key management procedures. He goes and asks Tech Guy B who gives him the correct answer. Tech Guy A does a heroic job of understanding a completely new concept then phones you with a request that makes 60% sense. What can you do.

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NSA man says agency can track you through POWER LINES

Joe Harrison

50Hz hum randomiser

A box that outputs hum patterns of your choice. These could be fake ones randomly generated, or maybe real ones streamed over the internet from the Taiwanese national grid. Remember folks you heard it here first.

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Google: Glass goggles are a 'fairly lousy surveillance device'

Joe Harrison

can we stop saying glasshole yet

Every time there is a new personal technology we feel this deep urge to take the p out of early adopters. Like analog mobile phones, bluetooth headsets, and now smart specs. Then once we get to a critical mass of users suddenly it's all perfectly acceptable. Can you imagine in 2014 laughing hysterically about"some moron" pulling out a mobile phone well that's what used to happen in the 1990s.

Ten quid will get you an unobtrusive clip-on camcorder about the size of the typical USB flash memory stick. How is that any worse than special glasses.

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Oculus seeks partners in drive to get a billion people into virtual reality

Joe Harrison

too late

It's already possible to make a virtual environment which is so immersive and realistic that you actually forget you are inside it. Look around you.

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David Cameron wants mobe network roaming INSIDE the UK

Joe Harrison

Missing the point

All the complex arguments about coverage and revenue are missing the point. I as a consumer should have the anytime free choice to which network I would like to give my business. If I knew that Starbucks were doing half-price coffee today then that's where I would go even though I normally prefer Costa. Why not the same when I turn on my phone.

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San Francisco issues SMACKDOWN on parking spot sale software

Joe Harrison

Re: Explain please!

What if A is parked in a space and "sells" it to B but then C arrives who is unaware of all this and grabs the space first?

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EE in giant VoLTE-face as it tries voice calls over Wi-Fi... again

Joe Harrison

Cake and eat it

Why are they doing this - I suppose to take the load off their cellular infrastructure? A benefit for them but not for you.

Anyone savvy enough to mess with VOIP over wifi probably expects to be rewarded with cheap calls for their efforts. Especially if they are roaming - I certainly enjoy my sub-1p/min calls over hotel wifi.

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Google, Microsoft to add remote KILL switch to phones

Joe Harrison

Really?

My phone cost 89 quid at Tesco - why would I want a kill switch? Just buy another one.

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Android is a BURNING 'hellstew' of malware, cackles Apple's Cook

Joe Harrison

Re: AC Really?

The Apple guy's argument doesn't make sense. We all know you can make your users more secure by locking down their ability to do things. Does not mean that is necessarily a good idea. I don't need a phone nanny thank you.

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SCIENCE explains why you LOVE the smell of BACON

Joe Harrison

Re: How does it work for bacon-haters?

The Quorn "fake bacon is really nice. They have obviously taken the approach of finding out exactly what it is that UK people expect from bacon, probably they are monitoring this very thread in fact.

Processed meats are the top cause of colon cancer so a bit crazy to eat actual bacon if you want to live.

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TOADOCALYPSE NOW: Madagascar faces down amphibious assault

Joe Harrison

Re: Nuke it from Orbit

Or we could send a robot back through time to terminate the frogspawn?

Seriously, it's scary how easy it is to upset the balance like this.

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Google's driverless car: It'll just block our roads. It's the WORST

Joe Harrison

I will be the one to say it

Whenever you get a decent-sized collection of interwebbers getting all defensive about something you just know there is an elephant in the room that nobody wants to mention out loud.

In this case I think people are beginning to suspect (correctly) that they will be under increasing pressure to drive according to actual traffic regulations, and not according to just how they feel like.

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Skype to become 'Star Trek' style real-time translator, says Redmond

Joe Harrison

What about the pagans?

How is Skype going to know which witch is which?

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BRITS: Wanna know how late your train is? Now you can slurp straight from the source for free

Joe Harrison

The trouble with the train

Travelling by train can be great provided you want to go somewhere that suits the train lines' "radiating out from London" design. If not, even in a densely populated area, you can waste all day.

Example: My office in Bracknell to my office in Slough is 18 miles. By car 25 minutes door to door, by train well over two hours.

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Rubber-glove time: Italy to probe TripAdvisor over 'fake reviews'

Joe Harrison

I love tripadvisor

What else are you supposed to do when you have to choose a hotel in a country you've never been before?

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So you reckon Nokia-wielding Microsoft can't beat off Apple?

Joe Harrison

Re: Management is what killed Nokia

Completely right about how much damage was caused by the "competing internal teams" idea. This is why every Nokia phone I ever owned was 95 percent brilliant yet always spoilt by some horrible carbuncle. Like my 6220c which had a great camera with xenon flash yet there was no VOIP client for the VOIP stack thanks to internal politics.

Overall Nokia never did themselves any favours and their success was almost in spite of themselves. It was still surprising to see them collapse and it sometimes crosses my mind if they were deliberately pushed over because (à la Qwest) they refused to put the backdoors in...

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LA air traffic meltdown: System simply 'RAN OUT OF MEMORY'

Joe Harrison

Re: Recursive programming

It sounds like a perfect example of using recursive programming in the wrong way.

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Study: Users don't much care about Heartbleed hacking dangers

Joe Harrison

Re: OK, I'm afraid - now what?

Mine asked me to help him feed a sheet of paper into the shredder, which I did. He then said actually he needed one extra copy.

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Classified LOHAN payload is four-eyed beast

Joe Harrison

Little fluffy clouds

How appropriate that your lovely cloud panoramas are juxtapositioned with an ad for ... cloud.

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Chrome makes new password grab in version 34

Joe Harrison

Re: I'm not entirely opposed...

Don't want to spoil your friend's Arduino fun but hasn't this been done already? (Yubikey)

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