* Posts by Joe Harrison

368 posts • joined 1 Jun 2007

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Switch it off and on again: How peers failed to sneak Snoopers' Charter into terror bill

Joe Harrison

Jobhunting

Hi everyone! Wouldn't mind a new job. Want something part-time and it must have comfy office with free food, but also lots of trips out to exciting places. Must be well-paid. My CV? well I don't know anything much about any of this modern thingy but hope this isn't a blocker!!1! Any suggestions where I could be looking?

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Great Firewall of China blasts DDoS attacks at random IP addresses

Joe Harrison

Re: Simple Solution

Not sure that is true and I don't think they really want to be completely isolated. If they did they could just pull the plug, end of. Of course this would severely damage the rest of the world's ability to buy stuff from China, which would presumably be seen as a bad thing. Really they want their cake and eat it with an internet that only does things they agree with.

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Spavined RadioShack to file for bankruptcy next month – report

Joe Harrison

Paired vices

I once had an urgent call to fix a printer in Scunthorpe because they couldn't do the paired vices. WTF? They repeated it several times but I was too polite to tell them I had no idea what they were talking about. Eventually "You know, the paired vice slip you get in your wage packet..."

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Hollywood vs hackers: Vulture cracks Tinseltown keyboard cornballs

Joe Harrison

Genius

"...like a mad hybrid of Mavis Beacon and Rick Wakeman" :)

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Node.js fork io.js hits version 1.0 – but don't call it production-ready

Joe Harrison

Re: beyond moronic

I know, to avoid confusion we could change the name to "LiveScript"?

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It's 4K-ing big right now, but it's NOT going to save TV

Joe Harrison

too complex

I was in the telly department at Costco the other day and they had TV sets from a few hundred to a few thousand pounds. I was surprised at the differences in picture display but none of them actually looked fantastic to me. Maybe it's my eyes but they all look flickery especially when there is a lot of movement going on.

Oh yes and the "smart" factor bothers me - having paid for it I would feel obligated to use it, but wasn't there some news recently about smart TVs phoning home to the mothership?

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Google casts about for wireless audio

Joe Harrison

Re: Bluetooth

Bluetooth audio normally does sound like an underwater potato yes. However when you are using the APTX codec it is much better and sounds like a high quality MP3. The trouble is that Bluetooth stacks so complex that getting APTX to work is elven wizardry. It works on one of my W7 PCs with a cheap dongle, but doesn't work on my other W7 PC with an identical cheap dongle.

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Whew, US cellcos... Better find a new revenue stream, QUICK

Joe Harrison

When will they learn

People will pay for fast, reliable, and cheap network connectivity, and also for efficient customer service when things go wrong. But that is about it and nobody cares about the network operator's brand image or anything else.

Everyone is tired of the convoluted tariff structures and other sneaky tricks - the networks should face reality they are bit pipes and that's all.

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30 years ago today, the first commercial UK 'mobile' phone call was made

Joe Harrison

Nothing changed

My first phone was a Motorola 4500 hardwired into the car. It was not new it was some sort of dodgy refurb that a mate in the trade had got from somewhere. That did not stop Nokia-Mobira from trying to "subsidise" it; when I read the small print they wanted me to sign a TEN YEAR contract!

The next one was the standard 8500x brickphone and I remember being at the checkout queue in Safeway when it rang. Everything stopped and what felt like the entire shop just looked at me while I red-facedly gabbled "call you back later" into it.

A later favourite was a star-tac thing on Mercury One2One because after 7PM local calls were free. Of course the network used to crash at 7:01 :(

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Easy Tinder prank hack lets you play stupid cupid

Joe Harrison

Advanced state-level adversary technique

"His session is in his browser cookies. You get his Facebook.com cookies, you get his session."

Wow! Leaving your session open allows people to do bad things and impersonate you. Who knew.

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A first look at Google’s Android Studio 1.0: Climbing out of the Eclipse kitchen sink

Joe Harrison

Re: hooray

Bad form to reply to oneself but be aware Android Studio doesn't like being behind an NTLM proxy either, will not even start!

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Joe Harrison

hooray

The combination of Eclipse and Android SDK drove me crazy. Updates are a broken and semi-manual process if you are behind a corporate proxy requiring NTLM credentials. Considering that at least one update seemed to be needed every time I started Eclipse I am very happy to see the back of it all.

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Skinny Ubuntu Linux 'Snapped' up by fat Microsoft cloud

Joe Harrison

Microsoft backing Linux

Deeply impossible things are happening.I knew I shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms I found in the woods :(

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Is EU right to expand 'right to be forgotten' to Google.com?

Joe Harrison

how does it work in reverse

For example alcohol is illegal in some countries. When someone located in one of those countries finds your ilovebooz-hic.eu site and complains, then what, do you have to take it offline or censor it somehow?

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Eat FATTY FOODS to stay THIN. They might even help your heart

Joe Harrison

ominous

I have never exactly been a junk-food junkie but I have certainly eaten my share of pizzas and "things in packets". What has finally prodded me into serious care about my diet has been that I keep hearing "oh noes the doc told me I had diabetes" from my mates and contemporaries. It's one thing reading that in the news but quite something else from people you know and who are maybe younger than you.

After a lot of reading and crap-filtering I came to the conclusion that actually caring about what you eat is the key rather than trying to make sense of conflicting research studies. Incidentally I have come to distrust any food statements from "nutritionists" (anyone can award themselves that title) unlike "dietician" who have serious clinical qualifications.

No matter how much you might identify yourself as a permanent jaffa cake snacker you know in your heart what it is doing to you. Just switch your common sense on and if this is difficult picture yourself having treatment somewhere for your overloaded pancreas.

Finally, do some exercise and if you're not hungry don't eat (sounds obvious but isn't).

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Lights OUT for Philae BUT slumbering probot could phone home again as comet nears Sun

Joe Harrison

Didn't you get the memo? This is being done on the cheap. You're thinking of Optimus Primark.

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Cloud skills certification can add zeros to your pay cheque

Joe Harrison

Certs not so bad

There's nothing wrong with certificates as such. If you need your botnet herd looked after properly then wouldn't you rather have someone who's studied his socks off and is now a Certified Botnet Shepherd?

Unfortunately where the model falls down is that nothing in the IT biz stays the same for long. The "getting the right certificate" cycle is longer than the "what's hot this week" cycle and people can't be expected to run looking over their shoulder on a permanent certification treadmill.

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Finnish PM: Apple has DESTROYED FINLAND

Joe Harrison

Finland is different

I used to work for a Finnish tech company and to my mind their single most difficult characteristic was inability to admit when something was not working.

Pointing out a deficiency in your own company's product or strategy was tantamount to high treason so of course nobody did. There were probably plenty of people in Nokia who knew what was wrong they just didn't dare stand up and say so.

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Chinese researchers develop fuzzy search algorithm for encrypted cloud data

Joe Harrison

?

What is the point of encrypting your stuff if people can still search to see what is in it. (Is it just me?)

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Consumers agree to give up first-born child for free Wi-Fi – survey

Joe Harrison

Nobody reads those things

I never do, and even if people can be bothered the agreement is often not formatted to be read easily on a tiny phone screen. I just tick "yes" to everything. Does it really matter when everything I care about is via SSL or some other encryption.

Good luck trying to enforce the favourite pet thing as well.

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Indian MOM just LOVES it on Mars, tweets fave holiday snap

Joe Harrison

Re: Congratulations India.

I knew this would get posted somewhere in the thread and I think it's a tribute to people's respect for the Indian achievement that it has taken until now.

Downvote all you want but I grew up in a slum in Rochdale where we literally had no indoor plumbing, shared a toilet with other houses. A fuge number of people in India today would think "Luxshury!" to that since they have no toilet at all. Sorry Indian government but if you want respect fix that first, then you can go to Mars.

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iPhone 6: The final straw for Android makers eaten alive by the data parasite?

Joe Harrison

Agree. Not long ago I found a top-end phone at a conference and luckily was able to return it to its owner. When I located her she was just about having the screaming habdabs at the thought she had lost something worth 500 or more.

Losing or breaking a phone is easily done so I don't understand why anyone would risk an expensive one purely for the bling factor or social status. Of course I don't want to lose my own (cheapo) phone but if it unfortunately happened I would just buy another one and forget about it.

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Joe Harrison

Re: Emerging markets

There might be a spot for Windows phones, in corporate enterprises that are all-Microsoft. What if a Windows phone is the only one that works with your sharepoint, your Exchange, your AD, your Lync...

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Joe Harrison

Really can't get this

What's the difficulty? The manufacturers design a phone which costs 50 to make and they sell it for 100 (or 90 or whatever). The software is not their problem as Google has done it all for them. Ungrateful bastards. Meanwhile more importantly I can avoid having to spend 600 quid on an Apple phone.

I searched my memory but I don't recall traditional PC manufacturers saying phew it's lucky Windows is not free otherwise we would be out of business.

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Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us

Joe Harrison

Re: The proposed approach could have clear practical implications

Crimbr 2.0 is an innovative cloud-based solution which blends leading-edge academic research with dynamic crowd-sourced information to deliver attractive realtime offence-commission opportunities that (contd. p.94)

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Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE

Joe Harrison

Re: Speedo?

Yes it is, maybe not the speedo but the other stuff. I've had my car for six years and the heater is so fiddly I still can't do it without looking carefully.

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WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups

Joe Harrison

Re: Blind date?

Think you misspelled ambidickstrous.

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JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

Joe Harrison

bing ka-shing!

Never used Bing but if it can accurately answer any natural language query about Scotland then I'm heading over there right now with mine.

"OK Bing what will be tonight's winning lottery numbers Scotland?"

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Hate Facebook? Hate it enough to spend $9k fleeing it? Web 'country club' built for the rich

Joe Harrison

Been there done that

Just around Y2K I was working for an organisation that wanted to sell what would today be called "private facebooks" to professional membership organisations. It was not a bad idea from the perspective of that time but ultimately failed.

The only point of being on a facebook or a linked-in or a <next big thing here> is that everyone else is on it. Who wants a phone that can only dial a closed group. Sorry but this is doomed.

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Got your NUDE SELFIES in the cloud? Two-factor auth's your best bet for securing them

Joe Harrison

Re: While you're offering advice...

Maybe join a gym and cut down on the cakes?

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Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer

Joe Harrison

cashback disaster

Not pointing at any particular phone retailer but many of them had a terrible reputation for using technicalities to avoid paying the "cashback when you send us your fourth monthly bill" style of rebates which were popular a few years back. Alleged victims spread the news and I believe that permanently and severely depressed a lot of their repeat business.

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Joe Harrison

Re: re.. simfree

Aha not so much a Flashing Blade then as one of us Potato Peelers. I know the Huawei G300 quite well and I would respectfully suggest that it is the wrong side of the speed and usability line by now and you might usefully spend the 60-80 quid at Tesco for the non-LTE Moto G.

As far as Phones 4U is concerned I hated it when went there once and failed to buy a phone for one of the kids so never went back. My last three phones came unlocked either from Tesco online or from Chinese websites so I can't say I understand the need for high street phone shops, nor for direct sales from the networks. So long as cheap PAYG continues to be available that is all I need.

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Apple Watch will CONQUER smartwatch world – analysts

Joe Harrison

Sleeping

I'm a huge fan of the "sleep analyser" apps such as Sleep As Android. They rely on motion sensors which means you rather inconveniently have to keep your phone in bed with you. It would be quite a win to avoid that by having the app use the watch sensors instead. See? I found an actual use for it.

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This flashlight app requires: Your contacts list, identity, access to your camera...

Joe Harrison

Not as big a problem as it looks

You could always reflash your phone with Cyanogenmod, whose built-in "Privacy Guard" allows you to set a default "no access" for apps. It's not a perfect solution but takes care of the major risks.

The message in the article is right though in that most of the apps which over-enthusiastically grab permissions never actually attempt to use those permissions. On a few occasions privacy guard does pop up "this app is trying to access your contacts" or some such with no valid reason. Answering "no" mostly seems to crash the app unfortunately.

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BBC Trust candidate defends licence fee, says evaders are CRIMINALS

Joe Harrison

The BBC is working as hard as they can to put a stop to that! Used to be FTA all over Europe and immensely valuable to groups of expat British people, the largest of which is probably in southern Spain.

Retirees are crying in their cervezas however now that the BBC managed to shrink Astra 2E's footprint such that UK telly does not work there any more. Well not unless you have a Jodrell Bank sized dish at least.

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Joe Harrison

You can't avoid it by not watching BBC

I've got a dish pointed at a satellite which serves another country, guess what I now count as a license payer and the BBC get my money.

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You are here => Earth is in 'the suburbs' of an IMMENSE HEAVEN

Joe Harrison

Exactly. Nothing could possibly be that big, which proves we are living in a simulation.The operators of the simulator are not allowed to tell us that directly but the hundred quadrillion bit is their subtle hint. QED.

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Siri: Helpful personal assistant or SERIAL APP KILLER?

Joe Harrison

Paranoid, moi?

You would be entering a large number of voice samples... would there be a back door uploading them to train someone's vocal recognition system? Your burner phone would no longer fool them would it.

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Top beak: UK privacy law may be reconsidered because of social media

Joe Harrison

He wha?

"If I want to do or say something which I am only prepared to do or say privately, then it is an interference with my freedom of expression if I cannot do it or say it because it will be reported in a newspaper," he said.

How does he work that one out? It's not true just because he says it is.

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Reg man looks through a Glass, darkly: Google's toy ploy or killer tech specs?

Joe Harrison

Re: Well, no I'm not in favour of thumping people as a general rule but.......

I'm not sure people would thump you in reality, although as you have set the location to be a bar who knows what people will do when they've been drinking.

There is a guy in America who gets someone to film him as he walks through Da Hood filming strangers. Predictably they mostly do all get immediately violent, some of them even pulling guns. I prefer to think UK bods would be a bit more like "now look here old chap".

Regardless, I think if you actually did thump someone merely on the grounds that they might have been filming you then you would be getting your collar felt shortly afterwards.

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

Joe Harrison

Of course it is real, there can be no doubt

It's real alright. It is obvious and happening right in front of your eyes how could it not be real.

The problem comes when you discover how hard it is to come up with an adequate definition of "real" (hint: there isn't one).

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Joe Harrison

the real reason

I work a lot with public-facing entertainers outside of the music industry and they too went through a phase of "please don't put it on youtube". They didn't want everyone to be completely familiar with their act when they do it again next time somewhere else.

As I say it was a phase and has now largely gone away - firstly they know it is a lost cause and secondly they found the exposure was beneficial and didn't impact future audiences.

Not disagreeing that people with cameras during the actual performance are very annoying.

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Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

Joe Harrison

Why did the chicken only cross half-way?

It was a Rhode Island red

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It's time for PGP to die, says ... no, not the NSA – a US crypto prof

Joe Harrison

Re: He's right! PGP sucks to use!

PGP just does not work for normal people.

I have no problem setting up my own mail environment for both PGP and S/MIME security but I only know about two other people in my social circle who would be able to read it if I actually did send them an encrypted message. So what practical use is that?

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Govt control? Hah! It's IMPOSSIBLE to have a successful command economy

Joe Harrison

The internet

Have we so soon forgotten the central planning to create the internet? No... because there wasn't any... I am always astounded that such a big complex system that "just works" (for the most part) in over 9000 countries had no real plan.

Think about it though the internet was not Soviet-style centrally-planned, but neither was it really built by capitalism. A true co-operative effort is the best way I can think of it and that's the model I personally would like to see for the economy generally.

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Amazon smacks back at Hachette in e-book pricing battle: We're doing it for the readers

Joe Harrison

I don't get it

If you look inside one of these here "e-books" do you know what it is filled with? Words, that's what.So many words in fact that it reminds you strongly of that "interweb" thingy which is also ankle deep in words. What is the difference between e-book internet words and normal internet words? Apart from one being 20% vattable.

In any case wasn't The Internet supposed to link us all together and eliminate the need for middle men such as Hachazon?

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Ancient pager tech SMS: It works, it's fab, but wow, get a load of that incoming SPAM

Joe Harrison

Kevin Holley = top bloke

I used his SMS daemon in the 1990s to provide web->SMS for our entire company.

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Joe Harrison

Re: How to cut SMS spam volumes by 90%

Wouldn't that happily cause problems?

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Astounding: We're about to stick a probe in orbit of a COMET

Joe Harrison

Why do they never tell you why?

A massive amount of effort and planning so they can land on a space rock and take samples. Surely the samples will turn out to be the sort of materials you do normally expect to find in rocks? "Yep! It's a rock alright!" Or are they hoping to find something different and exciting?

For the benefit of us non-rock(et)-scientists... why exactly are they doing this?

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Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK

Joe Harrison

It's a slippery slope

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