Reminds me of the man who covered his genitals in duct tape, at a time when Tom Ridge, the US Director of Homeland Security, suggested windows and doors be sealed against terrorist attacks. This bloke's reasoning was that after a terrorist attack, he would have to help repopulate the US, so he thought it prudent to cover his family jewels in duct tape for the duration of the 'Amber Alert'.
Unfortunately, when he tried to remove it a week later hair and skin came with it. To add to his woes, medical staff kept laughing at him, 'causing him psychological distress'. He then announced his intention to sue Tom Ridge for 'giving him bad advice', and George W Bush for employing Mr Ridge in the first place.
- I wish I could find a source online, but I read it in Private Eye's 'Funny Old World' section some years back.