* Posts by A K Stiles

148 posts • joined 16 Jul 2010

Page:

Enjoy vaping while you still can, warns Public Health England

A K Stiles
Stop

Re: Ban them!! Ban them all!!!

What I wish they would ban is the adverts that I've started to see which appear to attempt to show 'vaping' as a cool and sophisticated thing to do. I have no issue with people using them as a much safer (for them and for me) alternative to smoking but I do think this sort of advertising is wrong.

I also think that if the (successive) governments were serious about getting people to stop smoking then they'd legislate to gradually increase the minimum age of a smoker so that e.g. nobody born in the 21st century would ever be able to smoke legally, so by around 2100 it would be effectively illegal for everyone (give or take a handful of belligerent OAPs).

11
9

ZUCK OFF: Facebook nixes internship after student embarrasses firm

A K Stiles
Coat

52.89340, -1.43669

Nice part of t'country that. (which now makes me think "You eh, wouldn't want anything to happen to it now, would you squire? Can't be too careful tha' knows!")

3
0

Stop taking drug advice from Kim Kardashian on Twitter, sighs watchdog

A K Stiles
Facepalm

Could they do the same thing?

For all the 'celebrity' 'medical' 'advice' about immunisation and homeopathy too?

10
0

BOFH: Knitting bobble hats on the steps of the guillotine

A K Stiles
Coat

reminiscent

This reminds me of a place I used to work where various people would be assigned to 'special projects', usually about 6 to 12 months before a 'mutually beneficial' agreement to 'pursue other interests' was 'negotiated'. And yes, most of those 'air-quotes' were usually enunciated!

3
0

Techies told to GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY by Microsoft, Netflix

A K Stiles

Paid Time-off

A slight aside, but I recently discovered during a conversation with my cousin in Australia that he gets an annual holiday allowance, which he can accumulate year on year and then use it to take a long (like 3 months) break whereas, in the UK, I've only ever experienced the annual "here's your x amount of holiday for the year, use it in the next 12 months or lose it" (with the occasional caveat of being able to carry a few days into the next year). Not sure if this is an Australian thing or just the company he works for being quite flexible but it seems like a good deal, and if you plan for having a family far enough in advance...

2
0

OFFICIAL SCIENCE: Men are freezing women out of the workplace

A K Stiles
Pint

Kilts for the Scots

I would also add that a proper (full-weight) kilt is in no way cooler than trousers, even if you are attired in the 'traditional' fully-ventilated fashion!

It's a regular occurrence in this place that I'll be sitting at my desk trying not to break into a full sweat (open-necked shirt and trousers), whilst the lady a couple of desks away from me is bemoaning the cold in 3 layers of cardigan whilst reaching for the gloves - which obviously improves the quality of the typing.

If the office were set for my comfort it'd be around 18/19°C (around 65F for the left-pondians), and the textiles industry would be doing very well out of my colleagues.

Icon for one of the better ways to cool down.

6
0

Boffins get the inside dope, craft white laser

A K Stiles
Joke

White Lasers

Presumably these would need to be mounted on a Great White shark then?

9
0

HP slaps dress code on R&D geeks: Bin that T-shirt, put on this tie

A K Stiles
Trollface

HP Solution?

Surely the solution to the HP issue is for the women to come in wearing the shorts and t-shirts and the blokes to wear the low-cleavage spagetti-strap tops and the mini skirts? May not do anything for productivity but it might highlight how stupid the manglement decisions are...

9
0

German police ARREST SQUIRREL for stalking woman

A K Stiles
Coat

I, for one,

welcome our battleship coloured, bushy-tailed overlords!

1
0

Ex-Apple bods suing Apple for bag searches get class-action upgrade

A K Stiles
Holmes

My time, my rules...

Like mentioned in a Win 10 article the other day where a company expects the employees to be in work 15 minutes early in order to turn on their aging PC in order to 'start' work on time, but only paying them for the working hours. I had a manager at a previous employers suggest that to me when I'd arrive about 2 minutes to start - I suggested they replace the machines with faster ones or schedule some version of a wake-on-lan system to get them booting up ready for my arrival for the time they started to pay me. Eventually we opted for the simplest of all solutions - arrange for one team member to start work 15 minutes early and run round all the team computers and turn them on, then work on other tasks which didn't require a PC.

1
0

HSBC takes Twitter tongue-lashing over failure to offer Apple Pay

A K Stiles
Mushroom

Nando's

Maybe the Venn diagram of Nando's customers and Apple owners doesn't have a very large cross-over area? Or maybe Nando's customers are happy using (horrors!) cash, ordinary cards or possibly paypal if ordering takeaway via the web?

(Icon for the Nando's extra extra hot sauce!)

1
0

The Great Barrier Relief – Inside London's heavy metal and concrete defence act

A K Stiles
Unhappy

+10 for the article, -100 for the noisy advert

Really enjoyed the article, thanks for the writeup (typos and alternative spelling aside) but dear $DEITY, please do something about the ridiculous flash video advert with the flying geese that starts autoplaying with sound! (Bottom of the right hand column for me).

Yes, I am aware of ABP and so on, but I like the Reg and appreciate that they are paid for by the adverts that get loaded, just quit it with the noisy ones eh?

4
0

Ireland loses entire airport amid new postcode chaos

A K Stiles
Joke

Re: Dingley Dell

Is his name going to be 'Sid' ?

9
0

Pan Am Games: Link to our website without permission and we'll sue

A K Stiles
Holmes

Re: Welcome...to the A9"

At least they had the decency to stick some signs on it that say "If you're driving well below the (safe) speed limit, stop in the next layby and enjoy the scenery, and let the poor sods behind you who still have a 4 hour drive get past" - I may be paraphrasing slightly!

0
0

Microsoft in Blighty reveals its 78 THOUSAND POUND Surface 3 slabloid

A K Stiles
Joke

One good point

At least they're not making a huge margin in the price difference for doubling the RAM and storage, like most of the other hardware out there!

4
0

High-flying LOHAN fan raises ale-filled tankard

A K Stiles
Windows

My tankard, my logo!

As a definitively kay-neived cuddy-wifter (or Mollie Dooker for our southern hemisphere cousins) I am more than happy to gaze upon the glorious LOHAN logo whilst consuming a tasty beverage form its solid structure! I can also confirm, possibly sacrilegiously, that it serves very well as a vessel for conveying an adequate quantity of Yorkshire Gold tea-based goodness to my work-addled brain.

It only seems fair that I get to enjoy the image as I was the one wot coughed the requisite for it!

(icon is a lefty can-chaser - it almost seems too appropriate!)

0
0

It's beers and bacon all round for our Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse

A K Stiles
Thumb Up

Few quid

A bit late to the party, but I've just come back from a long trip that precluded my participating again this year (unless I could have counted what passes for food on an aeroplane). I like the look of round numbers so I've now dipped in to square of the team total. Good work to the participants - maybe next year...

0
0

Sir Terry remembered: Dickens' fire, Tolkien's imagination, and the wit of Wodehouse

A K Stiles

Reading order?

I'd quite like a black bush-hat icon to express my combination of sadness and anger, perhaps attached to the phrase "Buggrit Buggrit Buggrem"?

As noted elsewhere, the reading order probably doesn't matter much, though it's probably better to read the various arcs in their own sequences. The later books have an easier style to them, but from my personal experience, I had the pleasure of starting with The Colour of Magic in 1988 at the age of not-quite-twelve, closely followed by The Light Fantastic, then Equal Rites and each subsequent book as it came out, and it does help to introduce some of the recurrent characters and set up some in jokes for later books.

If there really are any gods, and they have had anything to do with this sad event, then they are definitely bastards!

3
0

Life, the interview and everything: A chat with Douglas Adams

A K Stiles
Go

an inspiration to procrastinators everywhere!

A few fabulous books and so much more besides.

I went to this recently - it was pretty packed! Clearly still an inspiration to so many people, and well worth a watch if you have a spare 2 hours!

Douglas Adams Memorial Lecture 2015 - by Neil Gaiman, with an introduction from Dirk Maggs

0
0

Turing notes found warming Bletchley Park's leaky ceilings

A K Stiles

Secret advertising?

Mostly what I wonder about from this story is whether the reg got paid for publishing the url in the giant leader picture?

4
0

Wheeee! BT preps for FIVE HUNDRED MEGABIT broadband trial

A K Stiles
Coat

Existing customers...

Be nice if I could get anywhere close to the 100Mbps on my FTTP link (and yes I do mean premises - installed as part of a trial about 3 years back), or any kind of consistency of bitrate - speed tests tend to show in the 40-50Mbps range, but file downloads from varied sources tend to show ~ 15 Mbps, and frequently hang mid-download, and streaming video regularly goes into buffering. It's quite frustrating when the same thing pulls down faster / more smoothly over 3G or H+ connections. Frankly though, it's all still better than the maybe 1Mbps we had over ADSL before the fibre arrived.

Mine's the one with the list of 'first world problems' in the pocket!

1
0

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: 1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

A K Stiles
Mushroom

Not just willy-waving

This time last year my cousin came to visit, who likes his chilli at around the same level as I do.

We ordered a couple of takeaway curries - one vindaloo and one naga. After a bit of a taste test we decided to split them 50/50 - the vindaloo had a lovely sour fruity quality, whilst the naga was a rounded, earthy sort of flavour. Absolutely beautiful and aided by nothing more than a small beer during consumption.

Next morning I was convinced I'd not washed my hands properly due to the burning sensation when I peed, until the next time I went to pee and ensured there was no contact with the sensitive fleshy parts, and still the burning came - from the inside!!

This was later confirmed by my cousin as the first time either of us had experienced such a thing - strangely though, no Jonny Cash effect was apparent.

0
0

Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

A K Stiles
Unhappy

My nomination for the list is...

Drop Dead Gorgeous

I took a few friends to see it on the basis of a review in a magazine.

I refunded their cinema tickets and bought them beer by way of an apology.

0
0

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chickpea stew à la Bureau des Projets Spéciaux

A K Stiles
Coat

Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

I'd feed all of them to the dogs - or the cats - (well actually I'd just not buy them in the first place) but then I've always been a bit strange like that - not even tempt-able by a bacon sandwich. More bizarrely, it isn't even for religious or moral reasons.

I know, I know - getting my coat already - but if you stop and think about it for a second - it just means there's more bacon for the rest of you!

0
1

Oz father and son team plan suborbital spaceplane

A K Stiles
Windows

Re: Bundaberg

But it makes a lovely Dark and Stormy when you add a double shot of dark rum!

(I deny any resemblance to this icon !)

1
0

Hang on a second – Time Lords have added one to 2015

A K Stiles
Pint

banking systems

When working on the banking systems a few years back, most of the dates were calculated on a Julian-esque fashion, so Christmas day 2015 will be 115359 (adding a digit at the beginning was the 'fix' for Y2K issues so year 115, day 359) whilst Christmas day 2016 will be 116360 due to the extra day earlier in the year.

It really started to get complicated when they were trying to calculate daily interest from an annual rate and someone decided that the way the contracts were written meant that we couldn't work it out on 365 but had to work out if the period in consideration was in a leap year...

Still, all good fun, and usually best sorted with the aid of liquid refreshment!

0
0

Erik Meijer: AGILE must be destroyed, once and for all

A K Stiles
Holmes

Horses for courses

Agile methods work for some situations, particularly where the client / end users don't know or can't describe what it is they actually want up front (e.g. customer service agent portal) - so you get the basic gist, build the prototype, then have a round of, "well, could this bit be red, can we show this here, I need to see this when I'm doing this", and then go and tweak it and have another round of 'testing'. been there, done that, it worked well to give the end user the system they needed in the sorts of timescales available.

When building stuff for aircraft with millions of pounds and lives at stake, everything spec'd up front 'It will do this', 'it will not do this', then tested to destruction once built to make sure it did and didn't tick all the boxes. That also works well for its intended purpose (planes staying in the air and people staying alive). It can tend towards over-runs and over-spends because the projects take longer, so there is more time for the true requirements to change, and you have to pay for more, and repeated testing of those changed systems.

I know which one I want my phone company to have used for the system for their customer service agents, and I know which one I want Airbus to have used when building the A380 I'll next be sitting on at 30,000 feet.

6
0

Heyyy, you seem to be trying to post a DRUNK PICTURE. You know your boss looks at this?

A K Stiles
Coat

Deep Learning

They could save themselves a lot of time and effort by just asking this for every post anyone tries to make?

Or they could look at licencing 'Clippy' from Microsoft - "Hey it looks like you're trying to post in English, would you like some help with that?"

6
0

This Christmas, demand the right to a silent night

A K Stiles

Re: Evasion Tactics

Encountered that senior management argument once, to which the appropriate response was more along the lines of "When I get paid the same money as you, I'll be available when you are." Otherwise, it was a paid call-out rota, and anti-social hours rate overtime, but only when it absolutely couldn't happen in standard hours.

0
0

BEST EVER broadband? Oh no you DIDN'T, Sky – ad watchdog

A K Stiles
Devil

It would be nice...

If the ASA or other appropriate body could actually enforce something that all the advertising had to show you the minimum contract period and the total cost for the service over that time, including all the line rentals and packages etc., and those figures had to be as prominent as the big monthly cost number and the 'up to' figure, oh and any download limits and some kind of minimum agreed speed at similar sizes would be nice too.

What? too much honesty for the marketing departments?

1
0

Official: Turing's Bombe BETTER than a Concorde plane

A K Stiles
Coat

Re: So somebody really did...

I'm guessing this might be a popular music reference? Perhaps an example of "da R n' B" that seems so popular?

(Mine's the brown and orange one, yes - with the 8 track cassette in the pocket!)

0
0

Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER

A K Stiles
Flame

Not necessarily the types of food

Especially these days, are kids actually spending enough time just running around? There's more directed broadcast television, streaming shows, games etc. The media has raised so much fear of 'bad people will do bad things to your kids the moment you blink' that the only people you see hanging around parks and playgrounds are the 14-18 year old 'hoodies', with the 2 litre bottles of white lightning and the Marlboro lites.

The answer to obesity is pretty much always eat less (in a balanced way), do more, but people, kids and adults, get bullied for some reason constantly. If you make people feel bad for being obese, they want to feel better - what makes you feel better? food, especially the tasty combinations of fats and carbs.

As for the amount spent marketing 'junk' food at us as a desirable thing... Or for instance, the new 'healthy' green coke-life, made with sweeteners from natural sources - that'd be a tiny bit of stevia, and a crap-ton of good old-fashioned sugar. 1 can of normal coke = approx 33 % of daily recommended sugar intake. 1 can of coke-life = approx 25% of daily recommended sugar intake. It's not entirely their fault , but the people behind that kind of marketing should be amongst the first against the wall.

3
0

Move over, Apple Pay: Tesco trials PayQwiq phone-flash pay app

A K Stiles
WTF?

Re: Payment is not its problem, so this is yet another effort wasting gimmick

Indeed - their soulless, giant warehouse stores, prices higher than immediate competitors (web comparisons), lower quality produce (my perception), and crappy customer service (my experience on several occasions) have caused me to never set foot in the nearest 'extra' store. We now do big shops via delivery (from their competitors) or go further out of our way to the more pleasant experiences of Sainsbury or Waitrose.

Our local small 'grocery' store is a Tesco Local, which we do use for occasional top-ups, but it does seem crazy that one of the few places I might want and be able to use a card to pay for something under £20 with a slappy-tappy card doesn't have the requisite tech installed.

0
0
A K Stiles
Unhappy

Re: Qwiq?

I'd also add something about adverbs generally ending in _ly, but I suppose neither of these suggestions are "young, hip, now" or perhaps most importantly, able to be registered as a trademark, thus generating 2947 variations on a theme for the same (crappy) technology.

0
0

Singapore slings £18k fine at text-spam-spaffing biz owner

A K Stiles
Stop

UK regulators - an idea:

How about making it an offence, punishable with a fine which goes to the call recipient tax-free as expenses for time and distress, to call someone and not give the details of your company when you leave a message, either through an automated caller (which should be banned outright anyway) or by person. I, and I'm guessing a growing number of others will not answer the phone to unrecognised or withheld numbers. If you are a legitimate business with a valid reason to call, you don't with-hold your number, you leave a message stating your company name and the purpose of the call, and you leave a number I can call back which is likely to be included in all calling plans.

Actually, a second idea:

If you call me and actually get through, when I ask you from where you got my number, you should be legally obliged to tell me the source, so I can then trace back to which organisation has ignored my instructions that I do not wish to be contacted by them or their 'carefully selected' 3rd parties and again, they can be punished by a fine, which goes to me. </rant>

Clearly having a caffeine issue, just not sure if it's too much or too little...

2
0

Ninja Pirate Zombie Vampires versus Chuck Norris and the Space Marines

A K Stiles
Coat

Re: Still need Arnie & Sigourny

And Danny Glover got himself a Predator too...

What do you mean "There was no second Predator film!" ?

1
0

BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

A K Stiles
Facepalm

Fun arguments with auditors

There was always the auditor at a previous place of work who complained that the 'consumables' spend was too high in the electronics workshop, and that we had so many cables (VGA / serial / parallel style) without records in the asset register... Never grasped the concept that the 'consumables' were being transformed into these new, custom length & function cables and it would cost more in man-hours to record the materials usage than it did in parts and labour to make the damn things!

11
0
A K Stiles
Big Brother

Budgetary crazyness

Always astounds me that this is still the predominant form of budget management -

"You didn't spend all of last year's budget, so not only are we going to take away the money you didn't spend last year, but we're going to reduce this year's budget by an equivalent amount"..."sorry, you need to buy a what? but you don't have the budget for that!"

How about "Well your planned spend for last year was X, plus 10% contingency, but actually you spent 0.99 X, so it was a good plan, Thanks for saving us 0.11 X . What does the next year's justifiable planned expenditure look like? ... okay so we can agree a likely figure of 'Y' for next year so here's Y plus 10% contingency", or is there some beancounter magic that I just don't understand?

30
0

IT blokes: would you say that LEWD comment to a man? Then don't say it to a woman

A K Stiles

Re: Turn it around

But again, that is (hopefully) only to be seen between people that know each other really well and understand that the sentiment is not implied by the statement - it might disturb or confuse potential onlookers but if those involved aren't upset or offended, then why should anyone else? (Though adult sensibilities would hopefully limit the potential for using 'unacceptable' language.) You certainly shouldn't see that kind of behaviour or interaction between people who are effectively, or actually, complete strangers, and absolutely not in a professional capacity where the reputations of the individual and the company they represent are at stake.

It keeps coming back to the Adam Hills philosophy:

1. Don't be a dick!

0
0

LOHAN Kickstarter bid IS GO: Back our Vulture 2 spaceplane launch

A K Stiles

Re: add-ons

I think it was some mechanism around over-pledging (pledge more than the chosen reward level), then requesting the extra goodies from a price-list

e.g. select a £40 pledge level, but pledge £60 quid and ask for £20 worth of patches / stickers etc.

No idea how complicated it is to manage though - only ever played from this side of the KS fence.

0
0
A K Stiles
Pint

add-ons

It should be possible to add the options to acquire stickers / patches / mugs / tankards to your pledge - I know the Elite: Dangerous guys managed it anyway.

It would be appreciated as I've realised my sub doesn't include a tankard (I think) and I'd quite like one, but don't want to reduce my pledge to your beer fund this fabulous project

0
0

6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)

A K Stiles

Re: Not just FB please

I'd settle for 5 different blunt things...

2
0

What a pain in the mass! Euro craft Rosetta to poke its probe in 10-BILLION-tonne comet

A K Stiles

Re: Orbit

What about Apoapsis and Periapsis ? Or should I stop messing about with KSP for a while?

0
0

Brit balloon bod Bodnar overflies North Pole

A K Stiles
Pint

Dammit - 'locale'

or maybe I do mean 'local' - it being Ireland and all. Though possibly not at 40,000 feet.

0
0
A K Stiles
Thumb Up

Routing

I'm impressed that it keeps circling back to cut across Blighty (I'm projecting from it's current local on the west coast of Ireland) - we're not exactly a giant target on the global scale, but clearly the Jet Stream or whatever those high altitude winds are called (IANAMeteorologist) just love this little island.

4
0

Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

A K Stiles
Pirate

Article Title

Every time I look at it, and I CAN see the individual words for what they are but, my brain translates that into "Alien Dread Pirate Roberts"...

Oooh - now where's the category for the Rodents of Unusual Size?

5
0

Get ready: The top-bracket young coders of the 2020s will be mostly GIRLS

A K Stiles

Re: Coders

Please! It always frustrates me when you apply for stuff like car insurance and they give you a box for job description so you try writing 'developer' and it says "do you mean 'property developer'?" so you try 'software developer' and it doesn't have a match, and eventually you plump for 'computer programmer' because apparently a mental image of a giant rack of lights and flip switches is still the sum of what some of us do.

My last job was ostensibly developing in-house systems, but it was a small company so it included 1st line support, sys-admin stuff, kicking printers, rewiring sections of the office, changing the fuse on the toaster in the kitchen and shifting desks around. Couldn't find the correct job title in the list so I was a 'computer programmer'...

In my world view:

coder / programmer - takes a detailed spec and translates it into a programming language.

developer - takes a very fuzzy set of wish-list requirements and tries to create a semblance of a spec from it, get that agreed, beats their head against the keyboard repeatedly until they have a system closely matching the spec, then repeatedly rebuilds chunks of it because that isn't actually what they wanted / needed, stuff is in the wrong place, etc.

3
0

LOHAN packs bags for SPACEPORT AMERICA!

A K Stiles
Mushroom

Ah the joys of an open market...

with just enough of 'la cinta roja' to scupper the best laid plans of mice, men and playmonauts!

At least the land of the free look likely to let you blow some stuff up in their bit of the upper atmosphere, and you can try some of the lovely craft beers whilst you're there, for research purposes of course!

Bring on the Merch and let's get this thing done. One credit card standing by.

10
0

Hello, police, El Reg here. Are we a bunch of terrorists now?

A K Stiles
Unhappy

"watch [it] on purpose"

I'm not, but that's because I don't need to see wanton acts of barbarism rather than because of some thinly veiled, dubious statement about the legality of doing so by some questionably informed representative of the Met. Police.

Could they please get someone with a clue to actually point out what is and isn't illegal rather than scare-mongering because they'd really rather you didn't do it. All the sides of these issues have got to realise that respect is not best obtained via the use of a stick, either real or metaphorical...

15
0

Vulture 2 takes a battering in 100km/h test run

A K Stiles
Pint

Compass

Well known problem in big metal ships. Apparently they used to sort it with some strategically placed magnets (or a big lump of steel), though I couldn't tell you the specifics. Probably easier to test that by just having a play around with an energised LOHAN in a big open field, followed by a beer or two for refreshment.

1
0

Page:

Forums