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* Posts by launcap

147 posts • joined 16 Jul 2010

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Gigantic toothless 'DRAGONS' dominated Earth's early skies

launcap
FAIL

Re: ROC

A species confined to Autralasia is responsible for the Arabian stories about Rocs?

Tell me - did you do geography at school?

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Microsoft Azure goes TITSUP (Total Inability To Support Usual Performance)

launcap
FAIL

Cloud:

"All the downsides of mainframes without the benefits"

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Top Gun display for your CAR: Heads-up fighter pilot tech

launcap
FAIL

Re: Irrelevant observation number 1:

>Surely every car already has built in call handling (i.e. bluetooth)?

I'd love to know how to do that in my wifes 1966 Morris Minor 1000..

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Oracle claims knockout blow in IP lawsuit

launcap
Stop

'Responsed'? 'RESPONSED'?

In which variety of the English language is that a word? I shall be cancelling my subscription forthwith!

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Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty

launcap

Re: Carbs are the killers

>Rice is very starchy - you simply don't need carbs.

Different rice types have different starch types. Basmati rice (for example) has a slow-release starch (compared to normal long-grain rice anyway) - which is why it's better for t2 diabetcs..

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WinPhone's Halo hottie Cortana to hit desktop in next Windows – report

launcap
Stop

Re: Am I the only one.....

>Who keeps reading it as Cortina?

No - and I suspect it's be as reliable as my old, much hacked-around(*) Cortina Mk 3.

(*) 2 litre-block fitted but still using the 1.6 carbs/manifolds. Nuts replaced at random with metric or Whitworth almost-fits. Split pins replaced by nails hammered through and then bent round. Fuel tank 'fixed' with bathroom sealant. Floor with some additional ventilation holes that made driving in the wet a soggy experience (and contributed to the interesting aroma inside). A coolant pump that regularly fell off, even when using araldite or locktite on the bolt threads. Finally sold for scrap for more money than I paid for it. Icon because that's mostly what it did - except when my Dad was towing me and had to brake sharply when a moron pulled out in front of him. His disk-brakes worked superbly. My (non-vacuum-assisted-because-no-engine-power) brakes didn't. Opps.

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Russia, China could ban western tech if they want to live in the PAST

launcap
Mushroom

Re: Good luck enforcing those rules, Vladimir

> try taking a haggis, even tinned haggis, into those united states of america.

I shudder what their reaction to Andouillette would be..

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andouillette

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Sonos AXES support for Apple's iOS4 and 5

launcap
FAIL

Re: Perfect use

>There aren't very many other companies that can keep their users

>marching to such an aggressive upgrade pace

Except maybe a small Korean company you may have heard of.. Oh - and a Seattle-based software and devices company.

And HP/Dell/Lenovo - new models every 3 months.

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Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo

launcap
Angel

Re: I got told off my the police once.

>Took my lens out, cleaned it, waited 2 minutes for my eye to open

>properly again and put the lens back in

I did something similar (on the M25) but got a copper with a clue(TM). He was happy that I'd stopped rather than trying to carry on with less than 50% vision..

He was a bike cop. I've yet to meet one of those that didn't have a clue.

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launcap
Happy

Re: @NUmbers

>These 'DIFFERENT COUNTRIES' may have completely different road rules

Like the US guys I worked with who wondered why they kept being pulled over after turning left at red lights..

The concept of "our traffic laws are different" hadn't occurred to them! I think our local plod used to haunt the lights near our office as an easy way of making their quota.

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Dungeons & Dragons relaunches with 'freemium' version 5.0

launcap
Thumb Up

Re: Paper shortages

>I would suggest checking out Pathfinder.

Seconded, thirded and fourthed. Been playing D&D (and Traveller, Call of Cthulu, GURPS etc etc) since the mid-80's and Pathfinder is one of the better ones I've played).

My other favourite was Rolemaster but it kind of lost its way.

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Get ready for LAYOFFS: Nadella's coma-inducing memo, with subtitles

launcap
Terminator

Re: building "productivity" software for all

>Dogs and cats frolicking together in the streets!

I'll have you know that my cats and dogs frolic on regular occasions. For 'look at me wrong and I'm going to punch you on the nose with all my claws out' values of frolic anyway..

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10Gbps over crumbling COPPER: Boffins cram bits down telco wire

launcap
FAIL

Re: why not take it all the way in.

>Most high density urban areas have conduits in place to large buildings

Oh really? In which universe?

Maybe in a nice new-build area but certainly not in most bits of the civilised world* that I'm familiar with..

*Europe. Y'know, that place where towns and cities are usually more than 200 years old..

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launcap

Re: why not take it all the way in.

>slit the ground and run the cable 6-inches deep and have it to the house in 20 minutes

The phrase 'wayleave' springs to mind.

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Royal Navy parks 470 double-decker buses on Queen Elizabeth

launcap
Pint

Re: Exact Change

Re: Islay Malt

"</You Poured it On a Fish?>"

Well - back in the good old days of British Neo-Prog quite a lot of it was poured *into* a Fish..

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Should you entrust your systems management to the cloud?

launcap
Stop

Deploy once..

..pwn anywhere..

Especially when using software from a vendor who insists they know about security and controllability better than you do and specialises in insecure point 'n drool setups..

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DON’T add me to your social network, I have NO IDEA who you are

launcap
Happy

Re: Swirling JDs??

>I'm often of the opinion that if you've tried Scotch and not liked it, you simply

>haven't found the right one for you, the variety is extensive.

I discovered the English Whisky Company recently. They have an array of really quite nice whiskies (slightly elevated prices though!).

Chapter 7 whisky from EWC. True manna in a glass. Main issue is that it seems to evaporate from the glass really, really quickly!

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London Tech Week: All for the luvvies and the joke's on you, taxpayers

launcap
Stop

Re: The next big thing

Oi! Don't diss the beard! We unixy/linuxy/techonerds have owned the facial hair for much longer than those media luuvies who think that, because they can install an app on their iThing, they are technical gurus!

Sheesh!

<Retires behind fortress made of 1990s-era tech manuals>

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DINOSAUR BLOOD: JUST RIGHT, as Goldilocks might say, if drinking it

launcap
Mushroom

Dinosaurs? Sharks?

>it would place dinosaurs in a small category: among living creatures

>the best-known animal with a similar metabolic profile is the Great White Shark

Aha! Dinosaurs died out because the lasers attached to their heads kept mis-firing! None of that asteroid strike nonsense - it's those Frikken Lasers(TM)!

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So, what exactly defines a 'boffin'? Speak your brains...

launcap
Stop

Re: All wrong ...

>>a boffin is the guy who will go a day (and night) without food because

>>he encountered an interesting problem.

>And get irritated if you interrupt him, in order to give him a sandwich.

If those were the criteria then I would be a boffin. Being degreeless and working in IT I really, really don't qualify!

Mind you, give me a nice knotty problem (preferrably involving the interaction of several poorly-understood systems behaving in a chaotic manner) and the outside world goes away. It's only the pesky requirement of my bodys desire to.. err.. eliminate that tends to drag me away. Just as well I have sufficient adipose tissue to keep me powered for a while!

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Here come Samsung's, er, Barnes & Noble's new Galaxy Tab, er, Nook fondleslabs

launcap
Trollface

When supping with the devil..

.. make sure you use a long spoon. Advice formerly given to Microsoft 'partners' that I suspect is also aposite for Samsung partners..

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Using email? Text messages? Congrats, you're in the 'underbelly of dark social sharing'

launcap
Mushroom

Re: "NEVER to purchase ANYTHING I see advertised before a youtube video."

>If only there was a meatworld version of Adblock so that checkout assistants

>wouldn't ask if I had a Nectar card/Clubcard...you've been asking that for 20

>years plus and the answer is still no.

<rant>

And in the same wonderful world they also wouldn't look a me (almost 50, male) and say pityingly "do you need help with your packing?"

Strangly enough, they never seem to ask my wife the same question.

The other one that bugs me is them giving me the "please enter your PIN" prompt. The same prompt that I can SEE ON THE SCREEN OF THE CARD READER!

I can read y'know. Despite the handicap of being male and 50-ish (see above)

</rant>

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Privacy International probes GCHQ's mouse fetish

launcap
Devil

Re: Why didn't they...

>have left behind some quantum signature in those copper atoms !

Aha - the homeopathy argument of data management :-)

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Multiplayer Elite to debut on May 30th

launcap
Stop

Re: Blast from the past

> http://www.iancgbell.clara.net/elite/game.htm

Arrrgh! My eyes!

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Game of Thrones written on brutal medieval word processor and OS

launcap

Re: well if you're all naming your favourites.....

xedit running on an IBM s/370 with VM/CMS..

Tried the PC version recently and it made me realise how limited it was.

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launcap
Unhappy

Re: Real men run WordStar

>uploaded it by bicycle

Luxury! I had to hand-assemble the metal atoms into viable form then persuade 500 cats to carry them to El Reg!

How many I'll get back after the Vultures have finished with them is anybodies guess. Or how many less vultures El Reg will have after meeting the cats..

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Microsoft bug hunters kicked 0day own goal

launcap
Happy

Re: Ydgterday

Presumably they used the World Tree to get to Oz?

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Hunt's paperless future: NHS watches £60m vanish down plughole

launcap
Stop

Re: Re-orders

> The surgery I use has a website where you can login and do these things

Which is all very well if you:

a) Have an internet connection

b) are not terrified by the InterWebNetThingy

c) Have a computer.

There are a *lot* of people that come into one of those 3 categories and any system needs to take them into account too.

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launcap
Stop

>as would your chosen default pharmacy automatically fulfilling your prescription.

Maybe for some people, but not for me. The only item on my prescription that could be described as regular is the diabetes stuff - but even that is subject to variation depending on need.

The other stuff I get on prescription I order when needed. A regular order would either lead to me ending up with a stockpile of unused and out-of-date drugs (bad) or running out (worse!).

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Boffins build billion-synapse, three-watt 'brain'

launcap
Joke

A million neurons?

So - about the same as the average politician then!

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Anatomy of OpenSSL's Heartbleed: Just four bytes trigger horror bug

launcap
Thumb Up

Re: boltar

>Guard pages around individual sensitive allocations, causing this memcpy() to trigger a fault?

Or something akin to what IBM S/370 mainframes do (S/360 maybe too but I've only experience of writing assembler on an S/370 running TPF) - the first byte of each core block (4k - yay!) has a block owner ID and any attempt to read or write to that byte by something that isn't the process owner triggers a fatal error..

Of course, all that means that your corewalker just has to avoid the first byte and it's safe but the principle can be extended.

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Qualcomm uncloaks new chips for 'ultimate connected mobile computing experiences'

launcap
FAIL

That word doesn't mean what you think it means..

And I'm referring to 'Ultimate'. Does this mean that the chipset cannot ever be beaten? No mobile processor from now on will be better?

Of course it doesn't.

Marketing - first up against the wall when the revolution comes!

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How Microsoft can keep Win XP alive – and WHY: A real-world example

launcap
FAIL

Re: XP Needs to Die

>Win 7 even introduced useful tweeks such as when you press F2 to

>change a file name the extension isn't selected.

You mean the same as the default for MacOS? Nice to see MS 'innovating'..

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3

Homeopathic remedies contaminated with REAL medicine get recalled

launcap

Re: What do we do for those for whom it works?

>day my grandmother came back home, my hippie cousin gave her a homeopathic drink of dandelion >leaves and some other things. Two hours later,

Don't confuse herbalism with homeopathy... a large proportion of our pharmacopea is derived from compounds found in plants (asprin being a good example - it's a safer form of the compound found in willow bark).

Of course, the problems with herbalism are:

1. You don't have to be licensed to practice

2. The dosage in the mix will vary according to several factors (freshness, time in the lifecycle the plant was picked, how it was processed, the particular strain of the plant used etc etc)

And the combination of the two means it's pretty dangerous. Add in interactions between the drugs in the herbs and the drugs in the medicine and you have a recipe for bad things to happen

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launcap
Stop

Re: What do we do for those for whom it works?

------------------------------------------------------

My mother was in a wheelchair caused by psoriatic arthritis. She was told after 20 years of failed treatments that she would never walk again, and she was literally left to waste away in a wheelchair and die. She turned to homeopathy, and now 10 years later, and double the weight she was in the wheelchair, walks several miles per day and is quite energetic and well known on the car-boot scene.

------------------------------------------------------

Speaking as someone who has PSA (and it's not much fun) it varies immensely depending on your mental state. Since the placebo effect is a mental effect, it's entirely possible that her belief that the medication works did leave to an improvement - not because the homeopathy worked, but because she believed it would.

Me - I'll stick to my sulphasalazine and leflunomide - they have proper tested double-blind clinical trials that show they work. But then I'm the offspring of an industrial pharmacist and a nurse so (as far as the homeopaths are concerned) I'm already in the camp of evil (or science, as I'd prefer to call it).

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RISE of the LIVING CHAIR: Boffins recruit E coli to build futuristic materials

launcap
Mushroom

Re: Like El Reg readers have never had that experience before.

>Sugar Free Gummi Bears

.. have the opposite effect on me. Like most sugar-free stuff :-(

Which is unfortunate with my newly-aquired sugar intolerance.

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Punch and Judy face Blofeld in LOHAN doomsday box test

launcap
Pint

Punch and Judy?

Does that mean there is a Fish involved? Inquiring mind etc etc

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Facebook's Zuckerberg buttonholes Obama, rages against NSA dragnet spying

launcap
Unhappy

Re: A translation

"When they kill innocent civilians it's abhorrent terrorism. When we kill innocent civilians it's entirely acceptable and justifiable collateral damage."

In a song I wrote many, many years ago:

Bombs in cars or bombs from the sky,

What's the difference when innocents die?

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Actually, there is an Arapaho word for 'pliers'

launcap
Mushroom

Re: but side-cutters are STILL pliers

Burn the heretic!

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launcap
Terminator

Re: Mission creep ?

>Meaning you get to play with parcel tape guns and staple guns

Hmm.. staple guns..

<Drifts off into memory, winces..>

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Barnes & Noble's Nook freed from Windows, WinPhone apps pledge

launcap
Stop

"MS Reader was a pioneering effort but it was released years ahead of suitable hardware. By the time some good device were appearing Microsoft had lost interest and failed to form the right partnerships to push the LIT format."

Pioneering? Hardly. fbreader was around a good bit before MS Reader and could also be used as an offline web-reader..

I remember it well on my Nokia 770 tablet.

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'Amazon has destroyed the unicorn factory' ... How clouds are making sysadmins extinct

launcap
Mushroom

Re: Sysadmins - the new buggy whip manufacturers

"Please, opensourceland, make a mail server that the boss can use with Outlook and not tell the difference, that I can get running without 10 years of linux and development experience, and I will happily put the time in to learn how to drive it."

They do - it's call Zimbra. OK - so not open-source any more but it doesn't involve the use of the Windows Spawn of Satan..

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Will Yelp help 'Yahoo!' compete with Google? Search us...

launcap
Go

I have only one thing to say:

DuckDuckGo!

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Bletchley Park board member quits amid TNMOC split-off spat

launcap
Big Brother

>> females may smoothen the talk a bit, allowing a consensus to be reached.

>AKA - "The Thatcher effect"

AKA - when I want your opinion I'll give it to you..

(Spitting Image - ah, where are you now!)

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Very fabric of space-time RIPPED apart in latest Hubble pic

launcap
Alien

Re: I wonder

>Stars may be unlikely to collide but they do risk being slung out

>of the galaxy and losing the protection against cosmic rays which

>the galaxy's magnetic field

But at least it takes them out of the Slow Zone and into the Zone of Thought..

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Deepness_in_the_Sky)

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Thanks a lot, Facebook: Microsoft turns Office 365 into social network

launcap
Unhappy

Marvin mode

<Sounds ghastly>

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Microsoft to get in XP users' faces with one last warning

launcap
Happy

Re: Yes I predict it will be exactly as terrible as Y2K!

>Sorry to hear you had such a boring Y2K. Where I worked, programs

>were actually fixed, and vendor patches applied. Not a sticker in sight.

Likewise. And then the next set of vendor patches applied as the previous set had broken another facet of y2k compatibility..

I'm looking at you Microsoft! Strangely enough, all the unix machines we were patching were much less hassle!

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Robot army to police football World Cup

launcap
Mushroom

One hopes..

>first remote-controlled robot to enter the stricken Fukushima nuclear facility

.. that it's the same robot being used in Brazil!

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You'll NEVER guess who's building the first Ubuntu phones in 2014

launcap
Stop

"unprecedented customization opportunities,"

ie "We'll put so much tat on it that it'll run about as fast as Windows Vista on a 486.."

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