* Posts by launcap

216 posts • joined 16 Jul 2010

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El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

launcap
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Re: Why not . . .

> Fill that little old electric slow-cooker

Stchop! Presupposes an element of thought!

Core-dump. Do not pass go. Do not collect ecologically-sound cooking method!

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So long, Lenovo, and no thanks for all the super-creepy Superfish

launcap
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FAIL

Never impute to malice..

.. what can easily explained by stupidity.

Let me explain the thought process:

Superfish contacts someone in the Lenovo marketing department with a wizard scheme for making them both money. They'll put a little bit of harmless software on the laptop that will watch people browsing and work out how to target adverts better. Superfish make money selling the software, Lenovo get a share of the extra ad revenue.

Nothing excites a marketing exec more than the prospect of extra money with zero effort so (with great aplomb and an infinite lack of technical knowledge) the deal is done.

Doubtless someone in the technical side of Lenovo protested that this was a very very very (repeat to the n+10 power) bad idea, but the siren call of free dosh drowned them out.

Fast forward and it all comes out: the software is neither harmless or safe (as well as being a blatant privacy violation) and you can hear the sound of butts being covered all the way up to the top. Doubtless, someone on the technical side will get slapped around for not preventing it (and the email archives will mysteriously get eaten by some advanced data-rot) and the head of marketing will have to curtail their next round of official bonuses (although the flow of small brown envelopes will continue).

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IT knowledge is as important as Maths, says UK.gov

launcap
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Re: It does seem rather wonderful

> Whereas IT skills covers everything from [long list that I agree with]

And (equally important) the ability to problem-solve rather than just regurgitate facts that you have memorised but don't understand..

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launcap
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FAIL

Re: Any skills learnt

> John, most modern programmers couldn't tell you what a pointer is anyway

Let alone a core block or forward-chain reference on a 4K disk block! Essential skills (when doing assembler on an IBM mainframe..)

Yes - sarcasm. Because lots of languages don't use the specific technology that you are referring to. Just like they don't use Entry Control Blocks and core-store..

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launcap
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Thumb Down

> 'post-A level qual in IT'

Or even better, some real-world experience of IT.. And I don't mean "helping little Jonny join his new tablet to the home wifi"..

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SCREW YOU, BRITS: We're going through with UK independence ANYWAY – Scotland

launcap
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Happy

Re: The next step?

>You'll need to move Hadrian's wall a long way north

Make the bits between the Antonine Wall and Hadrians Wall their own country :-). The highlanders would be happy (would keep the lowland Scots out), the southern Sassenachs would be happy (gets rid of those damn Labour-loving northeners) and the only losers are...

Simples!

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NetMundial consultation produces collective, apathetic 'meh'

launcap
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Boffin

NMI

Is it just me that sees NMI and thinks 'Non Maskable Interrupt'? Yes? Oh..

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DARPA's 'Cortical Modem' will plug straight into your BRAIN

launcap
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Stop

ObCrossOver

And how long before the NSA/GCHQ et. al. work out how to low-level exploit these? I'm assuming that the ability to do so will be built-in at the firmware/hardware level and that there will be a thriving underground trade in 'clean' models (ie - not compromised by Gubbermint - whether they are compromised by your supplier is another matter).

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TITANIC: Nuclear SUBMARINE cruising 'Sea of KRAKENS' may be FOUND ON icy MOON

launcap
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Alert

Re: erm

> it looks a bit penisy

More like some form of Gallente ship. Does it come with drones and good armour?

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launcap
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Boffin

Re: Have they planned for

> Bob Howard gets a ride on the mission

That would be some mission briefing. And a more-wierd-than-usual mission code..

(Upvoted for Laundry Files reference - I tried to get my wife interested but (even though she's somewhat technical) she doesn't get most of the tecnical stuff)

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Hacker kicks one bit XP to 10 Windows scroll goal

launcap
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Boffin

Re: Backwards compatibility

> It's quite likely that z/OS is still capable of running binary code written twice as long ago..

In the mid-90's I was working on TPF code (on an S/370) that was orginally written in the 60s...

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$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

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Coat

Re: One born every minute

> You have to unplug the cable from time to time to empty them out.

Like in the old token-ring days - sometimes a token would get a bit crufty and you had to unplug the cable to let it fall out so that it could be replaced..

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launcap
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Happy

Re: So Stupid

> Cat6 hasn't been seen since yesterday

That's because she (and cat 6 in my house is indeed a she - nominally) has bought 10 of these cables on your credit card, resold them down the market from scrap silver value and is now living it large on a mountain of tuna cans..

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Apple preps to DUMP crappy, sluggish iPhoto FOR GOOD

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FAIL

>Yosemite networking is still a pig

And appears to be largely incompatible with Active Directory (to the extend that new machines are having to have AdmitMac installed on them because the built-in AD bind wither fails to work or, if it does bind, then fails to authenticate).

Mavericks worked fine so it's not a case that our AD is broken..

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RIP Windows RT: Microsoft murders ARM Surface, Nokia tablets

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Happy

Re: A workable solution

>Currently for £150 you can get yourself a no-name Chinese tablet

Or (as I did recently) a Linx 10 (1GB RAM, 32GB built-in with MicroSD socket, HDMI out) tablet from Sainsburys for £129.

Has an Intel processor, runs proper Windows 8.1

Only fly in the ointment - trying to upgrade to Windows 10 Tech preview had... issues. So back on W8.1 now.

It's never going to be my main machine but is a reasonable little unit.

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Twin Adam Sandlers shake El Reg's movie unwatchablathon team

launcap
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Mushroom

>Two bottles in sixteen hours wouldn't make you an alcoholic

Depends on the size of the bottles.. (clutches Melchizedek of Mrs' Miggins Finest EyeBlinder)

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Google gets my data, I get search and email and that. Help help, I'm being REPRESSED!

launcap
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Megaphone

Yes, yes, yes..

.. but more important than all this economics flummery - what sort of kittens?

Enquiring minds!

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Yahoo's! Mayer!: We'll! spin! off! $40bn! Alibaba! stake! and! pay! ZERO! tax! on! it! Ha!

launcap
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Boffin

'goodwill impairment'

Always seemed an utterly imprecise measurement to me (much like stock analysts predictions but even less based on reality).

How are they actually calculated? Are they? Does it just get made up by a management accountant after a heavy night of tequila and coke?

Inquring mind etc etc

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'Boozed up' US drone spook CRASHED UFO into US White House

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Joke

Sounds like a drone to me.

Amarr, Caldari, Minmatar or Gallente?

Need to get the right resists and damage in place before tackling.

(Actually - in context - more like a Sleeper drone)

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What's that, Microsoft? Yep, a Lumia and Surface SALES BOOM

launcap
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Happy

Bizzarrely..

.. I found myself buying A Linx 10 tablet with "Windows 8.1 with Bing!" on it (in Sainsburys, for £129).

Actually not a bad product. Won't run the Windows 10 Tech preview but ho-hum..

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Is Windows RT not invited to the Windows 10 upgrade party?

launcap
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Facepalm

Brand confusion

What surprises me is that Microsoft are going back to the "Windows everywhere" idea - ignoring the fact that ordinary people got/will get confused and buy something for their shiny "Windows 10" portable device and then expect it to work on their shiny "Windows 10" desktop (which it probably won't) or vice-versa (ditto)

I know they are trying to harmonise the APIs for the different platforms but I suspect they don't understand that the platforms *need* to differentiated. Which (I suspect) is why Apple clearly delineates between iOS and OS X despite tyhe fact that are, fundamentally, the same.

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US military finds F-35 software is a buggy mess

launcap
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FAIL

Rafale?

Is French. So obviously out of the question! Despite being:

a) Actually available, now, and for a reasonable price

b) Available in a carrier version. Now.

But - it has a major downside. It's French and no British politician can be seen to be favouring Those Frenchies(TM) over our masters across the pond, especially with the rampant and stupid Euro-xenophobia that's currently fashionable[1].

Ho hum.

[1] And old people like me can remember the 70's when it was "all those commonwealth brown types coming here taking our jobs". Ironic that now the racists^wUKIP types are now focussed on "Commonwealth good, Euro bad" schtick - same language, different target.

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Lloyds supplier payments TITSUP: What, you want MONEY from a BANK?

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FAIL

They can't really expect..

.. a bank to be good at actually handling money? That's sooooo 1990's..

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: 1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

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Stop

Waste of garam massala..

.. when combined with something that'll nuke your taste receptors..

In fact, it's a bit of a waste eating *anything* with something that nukes your taste receptors.

Bit like trying to listen to quiet classical music while standing next to the speaker cabs at an AC/DC gig.

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Spavined RadioShack to file for bankruptcy next month – report

launcap
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FAIL

Re: Bye-bye

> 1985-1988, when the company was actually doing OK

Didn't stop their built products being crap - we bought 3 things

1. mains-bourne intercoms (kept dying - store manager protested that they were not meant to be on all the time, thus kind of missing the point of intercoms). Eventually got our money back.

2. Ghetto-blaster - first the main board went (replaced). Then it went again (replaced). Then the tape decks stopped working (motor replaced). Then the radio tuning stopped working (the bit-of-string tuning had disintegrated). By that point we'd go so sick of it that we then binned it.

3. A Sony-Walkman clone (tape obviously) - numerous problems with it eating tapes, motor incredibly variable in speed despite fresh batteries. Replaced twice, same problems with repacements. Binned

After that I decided that they would never get any monet from me again..

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Demon Internet goes TITSUP: Outage borks ancient ISP

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Re: Demonised

> Ooh, another old-timer!

Likewise. From the mid-90's to mid 2000's. Which was then I finally got tired of talking to script-reading drones at support rather than the previous techies. And went to a proper ISP (idnet)

I picked them because they had a FAQ about how to do dial-on-demand[1] in my 0.99pl15 linux slackware box and also full instructions on how to set up a mail server..

Kids today eh? They just don't know how lucky they are!

[1] On my speeeeeeeedy Zoom 14.4k internal modem. Which got eventually replaced by 33K modem, then by BT Home Highway on ISDN (they had an all-you-could-eat package which allowed 2 channels to be bonded thus giving a stonking 128K), then by DSL.

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Preserve the concinnity of English, caterwauls American university

launcap
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FAIL

> Inability to use the verb "lie" correctly.

Inability to use the past tence correctly

As in "I payed" or "I slayed" rather than "I paid" or "I slew".

Maybe I should read a better class of self-published[1] stuff. If that isn't an oxymoron.

[1] Occurs in books from established, reasonably well-respected publishers too!

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launcap
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Coat

Re: funny

>various other "acquired" words from our overseas acquisitions

English - not so much borrowing words from other languages as chasing them up alleyways to mug them for whole sections of their vocabulary..

(Can't remember who originally said that - I can't claim credit)

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'American soldiers, we are coming...' US CENTCOM military in Twitter hijack shame

launcap
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FAIL

Re: Muppets

>BBC newsroom employs

Very few people with an understanding of IT or technology. Especially in the preparation of news items.

--------------

Dear BBC,

Please be aware that using the word 'cyber' in front of anything vaguely Internet or computer-related just makes you look like a bunch of sensationalist, ignorant buffoons. Please cease forthwith.

Yours,

Someone with a vague Clue about such things.

PS: And lets not revisit the cracker/hacker confusion either. Or the fact that cracking someone Twitter account is hardly a l33t skill...

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Hawking and friends: Artificial Intelligence 'must do what we want it to do'

launcap
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Re: Pull the plug?

> You've never seen 'Colossus: The Forbin Project'

Or read "I have no mouth and I must scream" by Harlan Ellison. Quite disturbed me (briefly) when I read it as a 12-year old[1]..

[1] yes, yes - I know. It's an adult-type SF short but I had an understanding with my local librarian who allowed me to use the adult stacks as long as I didn't tell my parents..

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HTC Desire Eye: The Android superior selfie shooter

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Headmaster

Re: Tittles are for toffs

How about jots? Are they for toffs too?

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Boybanders ONE DIRECTION launch DoS attack on open-source bods

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Flame

Re: Lordy...

>We're doomed, I tell ya. Doomed.

Time for a hard rock hallelujah?

(OK - so it's an i instead of a y.. so sue me)

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REVEALED: Titsup flight plan mainframe borks UK air traffic control

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Happy

Re: There's legacy, and there's legacy

> meaning Nats has to train programmers in Jovial just to maintain the antiquated software

Could be worse, could be using TPF.. (scary thought - for a while, and may well still be, every input into the Galileo reservations system went though some of my code - and it was code explicitly made non-reentrant by use of spin locks as the low-level routines it was using were not reentrant themselves)

I was quite proud that I didn't manage a ctrl-1 or ctrl-3 catastrophic with that code..

(And my wife worked in the comms team - the people who took the insanely variable data from airlines and sanitised it so that it could be understood by mere mortals - someone from SwissAir wrote an interpreted database-driven data parser language that took pseudo-BAL instructions and ran them on the fly.)

Cool stuff - and even in the early 90's we had code that first saw the light of day in the mid to late 60s.

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This week it rained in San Francisco and the power immediately blew out. Your tech utopia

launcap
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Facepalm

Re: Still Going

>Time to buy some beach front property in East Bay when San Francisco

>becomes the next Atlantis...

Or buy property in SF for when the rest of the US slides into the Atlantic/Pacific leaving SoCal as a small island adrift in the sea*

(*) subject of a Sci-Fi short that I read many, many years ago. Time, red wine and having to work for a living have dulled the memory of the author..

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

launcap
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Alien

Wot?

Can that not extend the range by using the appropriate crystals? I'm sure that T2 Amarr crystals would do it..

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launcap
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FAIL

Re: Pretty feeble compared with Phalanx

> and feeds it into the accelerating rail.

Until the rail deforms because of the torsion and heat generated. At which point your nice shiny slugs are now coming out off-axis and start to shred the rail/crew/hull..

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launcap
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Mushroom

Re: ACME MIRRORS INC

> long enough to take down that madcat before the LRM batteries

hmmmm.. Madcat II. My favourite (albeit heavily customised) mech..

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DoJ's extra-territorial data demands: now Ireland is baulking

launcap
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FAIL

Baulk/balk

One means what you wanted to use, the other doesn't..

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Docker: Sorry, you're just going to have to learn about it. Today we begin

launcap
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Unhappy

OpenVZ

I use Proxmox (http://pve.proxmox.com/wiki/Main_Page) at home. Initially, most of my linux stuff was done via OpenVZ.

After several years, I now have no OpenVZ containers - only KVM virtual machines. Why, I hear you cry?

OpenVZ sucks for using a regular linux distro in - they all seemed to want special tweaks and post-install hacks to work properly. And don't even try to use the various update mechanisms in an OpenVZ container - they *will* break and leave your container an unsupportable mess that can no longer be patched.

KVM uses more CPU/RAM/IOPS but at least the distributions tend to work correctly. And some even support virtio properly..

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Simplez: OLD SCHOOL TECH can SAVE the MEERKAT

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Happy

Aha!

I can finally work out which of my cats is stealing my wine! Must be the cats, I don't remember drinking *those* bottles..

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IDC: iPad sales CRASH incoming ... Win 8 killing 2-in-1 typoslabs

launcap
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Stop

Re: No news

> Courageous of IDC to forecast all the way out to 2018. Would be nice to

> see how their previous forecasts have held up.

How very dare you! Holding them to their predictions? How very.. functional of you, thinking that their 'predictions' are good for anything other than pleasing their corporate paymasters.. (and generating a bit of cash from page impressions serving ads to those of us unfortun^w clueless enough to not run adblockers).

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CERN's 2014 Xmas gift from the Large Hadron Collider: Two new baryons

launcap
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Re: Critical checks

> I presume everyone involved made a sanity check

Too late. All that peering into unfiltered reality has already made their mythos score higher than their SAN score..

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Google bags OBSCENELY LARGE Times Square ad space for New Year's

launcap
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Go

Display pwned in 3.. 2.. 1..

I wonder who will be the first? And what they would display..

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Ofcom tackles complaint over Premier League footie TV rights

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Boffin

Re: No option?

NFL coverage isn't *quite* as bad - you get the late Sunday game on C4 (with very few adverts and actual proper analysis from someone who knows what he is talking about) and the rebroadcast Sunday night game on British Eurosport (with US-quantity adverts sadly). Games at Wembley are also covered live on C4 with the Superbowl being carried on BBC as well.

The majority of NFL games are on Sky Sports - so I subscribe for just the 4 months involved and drop it for the other 8 months (remembering to drop it a couple of weeks before the Superbowl as it takes 30 days from the change to come into effect).

You can. of course, pay for NFL live and get access to every game for the regular season for a mere $199 - with clients for every major tablet O/S (iOS/Android) and a workable client for Windows and OS X. But then you miss the sparking Sky Sports chat..

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Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?

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Thumb Down

Re: In a couple of years

> Hi, I'm Echo, and I'm your friend till the end. Hidey-ho!

Hi! I'm Echo! Your plastic pal that's fun to be with! How can I irritate you today?!?

(Need a large hammer icon)

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launcap
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Unhappy

Re: Lunacy

>>'You wait until Apple bring out a version - that'll sell like hot cakes.'

>Gawdelpus, you're probably right.

They (already) kind of have - except theirs is mobile. And has a funny name starting with S..

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Redmond top man Satya Nadella: 'Microsoft LOVES Linux'

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Devil

Microsoft loves linux

.. and hugs it, and squeezes it,

And calls it George

:-)

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Want a more fuel efficient car? Then redesign it – here's how

launcap
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Stop

Re: Depends on assumptions

> But how many cars these days can only do 30mpg?

Mine - 1.8L Honda FRV (Automatic). It might be my driving style (surely not!) but around town I get 25 MPG. Open motorway gets me to about 33..

I'd love to still be able to run a manual (likewise still be able to ride a motorbike) but arthritis in various joints cuts that idea out.

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Apple's new 'iPad Air 2' sliced open, revealing (possible) A8X core

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Alert

Re: I suspect

Or even (please, please) an new 17" Macbook Pro.. mine is getting a bit long in the tooth!

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Russian hackers exploit 'Sandworm' bug 'to spy on NATO, EU PCs'

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> someone has to open a weaponized Powerpoint document

Not always - if you are using Outlook and have auto-preview on it can get opened automatically..

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