* Posts by launcap

199 posts • joined 16 Jul 2010

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Yahoo's! Mayer!: We'll! spin! off! $40bn! Alibaba! stake! and! pay! ZERO! tax! on! it! Ha!

launcap
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Boffin

'goodwill impairment'

Always seemed an utterly imprecise measurement to me (much like stock analysts predictions but even less based on reality).

How are they actually calculated? Are they? Does it just get made up by a management accountant after a heavy night of tequila and coke?

Inquring mind etc etc

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'Boozed up' US drone spook CRASHED UFO into US White House

launcap
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Joke

Sounds like a drone to me.

Amarr, Caldari, Minmatar or Gallente?

Need to get the right resists and damage in place before tackling.

(Actually - in context - more like a Sleeper drone)

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What's that, Microsoft? Yep, a Lumia and Surface SALES BOOM

launcap
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Happy

Bizzarrely..

.. I found myself buying A Linx 10 tablet with "Windows 8.1 with Bing!" on it (in Sainsburys, for £129).

Actually not a bad product. Won't run the Windows 10 Tech preview but ho-hum..

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Is Windows RT not invited to the Windows 10 upgrade party?

launcap
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Facepalm

Brand confusion

What surprises me is that Microsoft are going back to the "Windows everywhere" idea - ignoring the fact that ordinary people got/will get confused and buy something for their shiny "Windows 10" portable device and then expect it to work on their shiny "Windows 10" desktop (which it probably won't) or vice-versa (ditto)

I know they are trying to harmonise the APIs for the different platforms but I suspect they don't understand that the platforms *need* to differentiated. Which (I suspect) is why Apple clearly delineates between iOS and OS X despite tyhe fact that are, fundamentally, the same.

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US military finds F-35 software is a buggy mess

launcap
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FAIL

Rafale?

Is French. So obviously out of the question! Despite being:

a) Actually available, now, and for a reasonable price

b) Available in a carrier version. Now.

But - it has a major downside. It's French and no British politician can be seen to be favouring Those Frenchies(TM) over our masters across the pond, especially with the rampant and stupid Euro-xenophobia that's currently fashionable[1].

Ho hum.

[1] And old people like me can remember the 70's when it was "all those commonwealth brown types coming here taking our jobs". Ironic that now the racists^wUKIP types are now focussed on "Commonwealth good, Euro bad" schtick - same language, different target.

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Lloyds supplier payments TITSUP: What, you want MONEY from a BANK?

launcap
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FAIL

They can't really expect..

.. a bank to be good at actually handling money? That's sooooo 1990's..

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: 1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

launcap
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Stop

Waste of garam massala..

.. when combined with something that'll nuke your taste receptors..

In fact, it's a bit of a waste eating *anything* with something that nukes your taste receptors.

Bit like trying to listen to quiet classical music while standing next to the speaker cabs at an AC/DC gig.

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Spavined RadioShack to file for bankruptcy next month – report

launcap
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FAIL

Re: Bye-bye

> 1985-1988, when the company was actually doing OK

Didn't stop their built products being crap - we bought 3 things

1. mains-bourne intercoms (kept dying - store manager protested that they were not meant to be on all the time, thus kind of missing the point of intercoms). Eventually got our money back.

2. Ghetto-blaster - first the main board went (replaced). Then it went again (replaced). Then the tape decks stopped working (motor replaced). Then the radio tuning stopped working (the bit-of-string tuning had disintegrated). By that point we'd go so sick of it that we then binned it.

3. A Sony-Walkman clone (tape obviously) - numerous problems with it eating tapes, motor incredibly variable in speed despite fresh batteries. Replaced twice, same problems with repacements. Binned

After that I decided that they would never get any monet from me again..

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Demon Internet goes TITSUP: Outage borks ancient ISP

launcap
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Re: Demonised

> Ooh, another old-timer!

Likewise. From the mid-90's to mid 2000's. Which was then I finally got tired of talking to script-reading drones at support rather than the previous techies. And went to a proper ISP (idnet)

I picked them because they had a FAQ about how to do dial-on-demand[1] in my 0.99pl15 linux slackware box and also full instructions on how to set up a mail server..

Kids today eh? They just don't know how lucky they are!

[1] On my speeeeeeeedy Zoom 14.4k internal modem. Which got eventually replaced by 33K modem, then by BT Home Highway on ISDN (they had an all-you-could-eat package which allowed 2 channels to be bonded thus giving a stonking 128K), then by DSL.

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Preserve the concinnity of English, caterwauls American university

launcap
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FAIL

> Inability to use the verb "lie" correctly.

Inability to use the past tence correctly

As in "I payed" or "I slayed" rather than "I paid" or "I slew".

Maybe I should read a better class of self-published[1] stuff. If that isn't an oxymoron.

[1] Occurs in books from established, reasonably well-respected publishers too!

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launcap
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Coat

Re: funny

>various other "acquired" words from our overseas acquisitions

English - not so much borrowing words from other languages as chasing them up alleyways to mug them for whole sections of their vocabulary..

(Can't remember who originally said that - I can't claim credit)

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'American soldiers, we are coming...' US CENTCOM military in Twitter hijack shame

launcap
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FAIL

Re: Muppets

>BBC newsroom employs

Very few people with an understanding of IT or technology. Especially in the preparation of news items.

--------------

Dear BBC,

Please be aware that using the word 'cyber' in front of anything vaguely Internet or computer-related just makes you look like a bunch of sensationalist, ignorant buffoons. Please cease forthwith.

Yours,

Someone with a vague Clue about such things.

PS: And lets not revisit the cracker/hacker confusion either. Or the fact that cracking someone Twitter account is hardly a l33t skill...

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Hawking and friends: Artificial Intelligence 'must do what we want it to do'

launcap
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Re: Pull the plug?

> You've never seen 'Colossus: The Forbin Project'

Or read "I have no mouth and I must scream" by Harlan Ellison. Quite disturbed me (briefly) when I read it as a 12-year old[1]..

[1] yes, yes - I know. It's an adult-type SF short but I had an understanding with my local librarian who allowed me to use the adult stacks as long as I didn't tell my parents..

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HTC Desire Eye: The Android superior selfie shooter

launcap
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Headmaster

Re: Tittles are for toffs

How about jots? Are they for toffs too?

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Boybanders ONE DIRECTION launch DoS attack on open-source bods

launcap
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Flame

Re: Lordy...

>We're doomed, I tell ya. Doomed.

Time for a hard rock hallelujah?

(OK - so it's an i instead of a y.. so sue me)

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REVEALED: Titsup flight plan mainframe borks UK air traffic control

launcap
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Happy

Re: There's legacy, and there's legacy

> meaning Nats has to train programmers in Jovial just to maintain the antiquated software

Could be worse, could be using TPF.. (scary thought - for a while, and may well still be, every input into the Galileo reservations system went though some of my code - and it was code explicitly made non-reentrant by use of spin locks as the low-level routines it was using were not reentrant themselves)

I was quite proud that I didn't manage a ctrl-1 or ctrl-3 catastrophic with that code..

(And my wife worked in the comms team - the people who took the insanely variable data from airlines and sanitised it so that it could be understood by mere mortals - someone from SwissAir wrote an interpreted database-driven data parser language that took pseudo-BAL instructions and ran them on the fly.)

Cool stuff - and even in the early 90's we had code that first saw the light of day in the mid to late 60s.

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This week it rained in San Francisco and the power immediately blew out. Your tech utopia

launcap
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Facepalm

Re: Still Going

>Time to buy some beach front property in East Bay when San Francisco

>becomes the next Atlantis...

Or buy property in SF for when the rest of the US slides into the Atlantic/Pacific leaving SoCal as a small island adrift in the sea*

(*) subject of a Sci-Fi short that I read many, many years ago. Time, red wine and having to work for a living have dulled the memory of the author..

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

launcap
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Alien

Wot?

Can that not extend the range by using the appropriate crystals? I'm sure that T2 Amarr crystals would do it..

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launcap
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FAIL

Re: Pretty feeble compared with Phalanx

> and feeds it into the accelerating rail.

Until the rail deforms because of the torsion and heat generated. At which point your nice shiny slugs are now coming out off-axis and start to shred the rail/crew/hull..

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launcap
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Mushroom

Re: ACME MIRRORS INC

> long enough to take down that madcat before the LRM batteries

hmmmm.. Madcat II. My favourite (albeit heavily customised) mech..

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DoJ's extra-territorial data demands: now Ireland is baulking

launcap
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FAIL

Baulk/balk

One means what you wanted to use, the other doesn't..

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Docker: Sorry, you're just going to have to learn about it. Today we begin

launcap
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Unhappy

OpenVZ

I use Proxmox (http://pve.proxmox.com/wiki/Main_Page) at home. Initially, most of my linux stuff was done via OpenVZ.

After several years, I now have no OpenVZ containers - only KVM virtual machines. Why, I hear you cry?

OpenVZ sucks for using a regular linux distro in - they all seemed to want special tweaks and post-install hacks to work properly. And don't even try to use the various update mechanisms in an OpenVZ container - they *will* break and leave your container an unsupportable mess that can no longer be patched.

KVM uses more CPU/RAM/IOPS but at least the distributions tend to work correctly. And some even support virtio properly..

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Simplez: OLD SCHOOL TECH can SAVE the MEERKAT

launcap
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Happy

Aha!

I can finally work out which of my cats is stealing my wine! Must be the cats, I don't remember drinking *those* bottles..

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IDC: iPad sales CRASH incoming ... Win 8 killing 2-in-1 typoslabs

launcap
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Stop

Re: No news

> Courageous of IDC to forecast all the way out to 2018. Would be nice to

> see how their previous forecasts have held up.

How very dare you! Holding them to their predictions? How very.. functional of you, thinking that their 'predictions' are good for anything other than pleasing their corporate paymasters.. (and generating a bit of cash from page impressions serving ads to those of us unfortun^w clueless enough to not run adblockers).

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CERN's 2014 Xmas gift from the Large Hadron Collider: Two new baryons

launcap
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Re: Critical checks

> I presume everyone involved made a sanity check

Too late. All that peering into unfiltered reality has already made their mythos score higher than their SAN score..

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Google bags OBSCENELY LARGE Times Square ad space for New Year's

launcap
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Go

Display pwned in 3.. 2.. 1..

I wonder who will be the first? And what they would display..

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Ofcom tackles complaint over Premier League footie TV rights

launcap
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Boffin

Re: No option?

NFL coverage isn't *quite* as bad - you get the late Sunday game on C4 (with very few adverts and actual proper analysis from someone who knows what he is talking about) and the rebroadcast Sunday night game on British Eurosport (with US-quantity adverts sadly). Games at Wembley are also covered live on C4 with the Superbowl being carried on BBC as well.

The majority of NFL games are on Sky Sports - so I subscribe for just the 4 months involved and drop it for the other 8 months (remembering to drop it a couple of weeks before the Superbowl as it takes 30 days from the change to come into effect).

You can. of course, pay for NFL live and get access to every game for the regular season for a mere $199 - with clients for every major tablet O/S (iOS/Android) and a workable client for Windows and OS X. But then you miss the sparking Sky Sports chat..

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Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?

launcap
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Thumb Down

Re: In a couple of years

> Hi, I'm Echo, and I'm your friend till the end. Hidey-ho!

Hi! I'm Echo! Your plastic pal that's fun to be with! How can I irritate you today?!?

(Need a large hammer icon)

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launcap
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Unhappy

Re: Lunacy

>>'You wait until Apple bring out a version - that'll sell like hot cakes.'

>Gawdelpus, you're probably right.

They (already) kind of have - except theirs is mobile. And has a funny name starting with S..

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Redmond top man Satya Nadella: 'Microsoft LOVES Linux'

launcap
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Devil

Microsoft loves linux

.. and hugs it, and squeezes it,

And calls it George

:-)

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Want a more fuel efficient car? Then redesign it – here's how

launcap
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Stop

Re: Depends on assumptions

> But how many cars these days can only do 30mpg?

Mine - 1.8L Honda FRV (Automatic). It might be my driving style (surely not!) but around town I get 25 MPG. Open motorway gets me to about 33..

I'd love to still be able to run a manual (likewise still be able to ride a motorbike) but arthritis in various joints cuts that idea out.

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Apple's new 'iPad Air 2' sliced open, revealing (possible) A8X core

launcap
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Alert

Re: I suspect

Or even (please, please) an new 17" Macbook Pro.. mine is getting a bit long in the tooth!

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Russian hackers exploit 'Sandworm' bug 'to spy on NATO, EU PCs'

launcap
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> someone has to open a weaponized Powerpoint document

Not always - if you are using Outlook and have auto-preview on it can get opened automatically..

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Netscape Navigator - the browser that started it all - turns 20

launcap
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Devil

Re: Ah, Netscape Navigator! I knew it well, Horatio

Hmm.. Demon. In the early days anyway - before it got borged and reborged..

One of the reasons I chose Demon was because it had lots of FAQs on getting my Slackware linux install to autodial via my Zoom 14.4K modem on demand. Then had FAQs for doing bonded lines on Home Highway. The had FAQs for securing SMTP servers in the shiny new DSL era.

Stayed with them (and kept my 158.152 address) right up until I had to deal with their new offshored, scripted, "I'm sorry sir but I have to talk you through all the tests you did last time you phoned us just so I can tick the box before calling BT to fix the issue you have had several times before and have a known fix for" spiel. Icon is because of what they became, not what they started as.

IDNet were quite a relief, and have stayed that way.

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launcap
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Stop

Re: Cello and Winsock

>Lynx on a 2400 bit/s modem was my introduction to the webernet

Ahh.. youth! I remember my 1200/75 baud non-autodial modem in the early/mid 80's. Dialling Almac. (yes, yes, I know it wasn't the collection of tubes but it was part of a (sort of) world wide network in FidoNet).

Kids today etc etc etc

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Philip Morris seeks pay-per-puff patent to help you STOP smoking

launcap
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Happy

Re: Brought to you

>Morris Minors were cool.

And still are (or at least my wifes MM is..). and tax free :-)

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Be Your Own Big Brother: Peeking at pussy

launcap
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Re: I'd like a cam collar

>this means she tries her hardest now to get rid of collars, and she's very good at doing so

Our previous generation of cats were too - we gave up after 3 collars per cat disappeared within an hour of being fitted..

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launcap
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Thumb Up

Re: Cats have some strange people.

>They're not like dogs, but the social cues are there

Well quite. And (since I was programmed by cats from an early age) reasonably easy to read.

Confuses the hell out of dogs though - the major indicators are completely opposite (dog put ears back == submissive. Cat does likewise == prepare to get shredded. Same applies to tail wagging and lying on their backs..)

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Trolls have DARK TETRAD of personality defects, say trickcyclists

launcap
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Happy

Re: so, what's your favorite text editor?

> emacs or vi?

joe..

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Microsoft confirms Surface NOT DEAD YET, next-gen version coming

launcap
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Devil

ObSportsAnalogy

>Microsoft says it's still committed to its Surface tablets despite disappointing sales,

"The [team] released a statement that the [manager] has the full confidence of the Board and will remain in place for the remainer of [his/her] contract.

Any allegations of him/her/it were seen at the local job centre last week were categorically false.

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Dear Reg readers. I want Metro tiles to replace ALL ICONS in Windows. Is this a good idea?

launcap
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Re: Tiles

>paradigm created by NeXTSTEP, OpenStep and GNUStep

Followed by DUBStep?

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Take THAT, hated food! It's OVER, tedious chewing! Soylent strikes back with version 1.1

launcap
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Thumb Up

> So if I wish to feast on breakfast bacon butties tomorrow, I'll need to get some in

M&S do some olive and chilli chiabattas that go fairly nicely with good bacon..

Hmmm.. bacon...

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NAKED CELEBRITY PICS LAW BOMB dropped on ad giant Google

launcap
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Devil

Techdirt..

.. has a little more explanation:

https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20141002/07015628701/lawyer-victims-nude-celebrity-hacks-threatens-google-with-100-million-lawsuit.shtml

I suspect some scumb^Wlawer is trying to cash in with the hope that Chocolate F^HMountain will quietly pay them off to stop them making a fuss.

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George Clooney, WikiLeaks' lawyer wife hand out burner phones to wedding guests

launcap
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FAIL

Re: sign of the times

> purchase clothing that changes colour according to the wearer's body temperature

Already done - I had a t-shirt in the mid-80's that did exactly that.

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Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER

launcap
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FAIL

Re: Flaw in the argument

>By the time you have washed your bakers, peeled them and chipped them

You don't have to peel potatoes to chip them - just sayin'..

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UK.gov sinks another £1.6m into Internet of Stuff spec HyperCat

launcap
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Stop

Re: WWW

> Nor will you have other cats when you click on a Hypercat link

I think my dominatrix senior female cat (name is Kelda.. and she lives up to that name every day!) might have something to say about unapproved minions^Wcats coming into the house..

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SCREW YOU, Russia! NASA lobs $6.8bn at Boeing AND SpaceX to run space station taxis

launcap
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Coat

Re: Hail, Hail, Hail!

>President Obama has made it clear that the greatest nation on earth

I didn't know he had the authority to talk on behalf of China..

Ok, OK, mine's the red overcoat with the copy of Long March in the pocket..

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Read The Gods of War for every tired cliche you never wanted to see in a sci fi book

launcap
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Re: Ian M

> EE Smith's Lensman books, which are available as free ebooks.

> Dated, especially the romance

And the casual racism, the overt sexism etc etc.

Not noticeable to an 8-year old child back in the 70s but all too jarring now.

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launcap
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Trollface

Re: @Steve Crook - DVD double bill

> I'd go for it. Films only have to be entertaining

I present the evidence: Dark Star.

Enought said..

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Found inside ISIS terror chap's laptop: CELINE DION tunes

launcap
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Mushroom

Re: Neat list they've got there...

>...I think the only thing missing from it is a certain book

> written by one Abdul Alhazred...

I get confused - is that the one about Hastur, the one that Hastur is in or the one that doesn't mention Has^&)76* <Carrier lost>

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