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* Posts by launcap

306 posts • joined 16 Jul 2010

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That man told me to stuff a ROLE up my USER ENTRY!

launcap
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Re: "To question the managerial understanding of business processes"

>>"That's your role, right there. Inquisitor."

>There you go, thats the problem in a nutshell. Tech support Customer services never expect a call >from the serfish inquisition...

I was thinking Inquisitor on more of the Warhammer 40K Stylee. With the authority to slay unhumans (ie middle management) at will.

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Warning flags were raised over GDS farm payments system – yet it still failed

launcap
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Re: Gov is sure to fail

> If you've ever worked in the public sector this isn't a surprise

Not entirely true - the body were I work^Wam employed has a good number of IT projects, delivered on time and to cost.

The reason? We have our own Dev team. While much of our IT work is outsourced, we maintain our own in-house team of IT people that are pretty experienced and have authority to say no to the outsourcer when they are being silly.

The ones where we do fail are generally where we are solely reliant on our outsourcer to deliver for us.

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UK.gov spaffed billions into IT projects at 'high risk of failure' last year

launcap
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Re: Accountability or lack thereof...

> Some are corrupt, most are incompetent.

And the rest are incompetently corrupt.

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D-Wave promises chip that could SEARCH THE WHOLE UNIVERSE

launcap
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Mushroom

Laundry?

Can we expect the manufacturers to receive a visit from Bob Howard *before* their evil devices open up a hole in the universe and let the Great Old Ones snack on our brains?

If you can do amazing things with a Palm Pilot just think what these can do..

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Tim Worstall dances to victory over resources scaremongerers

launcap
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Happy

Re: Oi, reg! Show us some love.

> a cat with a propensity for random violence if I take too long getting his tea ready

Or, as we call it in our house, "a cat". The rest is superfluous.

Doesn't apply to all of the resident felinoid overlords though. Some are more prone to the "make pathetic squeaking noises and try to look starving" school of hominid manipulation.

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So what are you doing about your legacy MS 16-bit applications?

launcap
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FAIL

Re: Start asking the developers pointed questions

>>If you can find them after 20 years ......

>...and remember the value of hiring decent developers in the future

I had a fun one at my last place - old 386 boxes that had a hardware card in to control some early-90's era hardware. Put the cards in anything faster and they would lock up solid.

At regular intervals I would warn my boss (COO of the company) that the stock of spares I had would only last so long and he needed to spend some cash to move away from the cards to something more modern..

He didn't. And the 386 boxes have long since ceased to be available. I have no idea whether they can still use the machines involved!

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UK.gov loses crucial battle in home-taping war with musicians

launcap
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Happy

Re: Home Taping Is Killing Music

> Try Monarch Trail's Skye or the latest Beardfish album

But that's probably because they are both a musical style that starts with a P..

(As is about 80% of my music library. Prog rock never died!)

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Nasi goreng pattaya

launcap
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> frozen sweetcorn

<Shudder>. How does freezing the yellow-bird-droppings-of-the-Evil-One make them edible?

(Not a fan of sweetcorn..)

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launcap
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Happy

Re: Incredibly stupid question!

> I tend to freeze it in single portions in plastic tubs

Likewise (although my single portion is for two people).

Proper fried rice has to be pre-cooked and cooled - otherwise the starches are not cooked properly and don't fry will (turn into a glutinous mass).

Makes it easy to use up left-overs generally and is a good 'just-in-from-work-and-tired' meal.

(Something like cut up baccon/sausages/chicken/cold roast pork, stir fry till cooked with random assortment of sauces/spices/veggies, microwave pre-cooked egg-fried rice and serve with generous glass of something alcoholic)

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Climate change alarmism is a religious belief – it's official

launcap
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Re: In other words, "When to act"

> This in spite of RC theology stating papal inerrancy in matters theological

Only when speaking 'ex-cathedra' - which this isn't.

(Not a Catholic, being of a decidedly non-conformist Protestant mindset)

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Feature-rich work in progress: Windows Mobile 10 build 10136

launcap
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FAIL

> Say what you want about Sinofsky. At least he could ship product.

In a fashion and with 'features' that no-one wanted, while throwing all the previous users under a bus..

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For fax's sake: Medic chaos as e-Referrals system goes offline

launcap
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Happy

Re: Hmm... socialized and centralized healthcare

> OTOH I have had my joiner refer me to my painter.

"Twas on the Monday moring that the plumber came to call.."

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Noshing moth menaces misled into male-on-male mating

launcap
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Re: The Ultimate Darwin Award?

> Those curators had better be careful not to spill any on themselves.

I suspect very few moths go on to a career in museum curation..

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VMware unleashes Linux on the (virtual) desktop

launcap
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Re: Has nobody told them X11 is a Network Protocol?

You forgot large incantations of "insecure" in your rant :-)

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Screw you, Apple! We're still making phones no one wants – Samsung

launcap
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Happy

Re: Samsung Crapware

> why not buy a crap-free Android phone from someone else?

Like my new OnePlus One?

Nice it is.

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UK NHS IT supplier CSC coughs up $190m fine, three execs in the dock

launcap
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Re: Whoopee! Clean slate, business as usual!

> it doesn't have to admit any wrongdoing

Surely, the very fact that it's been charged, found guilty and fined means it's guilty? I know they do the 'admit no guilt' thing as an avoiding-liability thing but I'm always amazed how contradictory that phrase is.

Hang them!

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Passions run high in EU parliament debate over air passengers' privacy

launcap
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Re: The USA started all this crap ...

"The USA had been isolated from real terrorism for years"..

Apart from funding it of course. IRA? Sure - just a bunch of good ol' boys - give them money! Osama? Yeah sure - he'll kill the Russians for us! Contra rebels? Yeah sure - lets give them lots of weapons for fighting these evil commies and lets not worry too much about collateral damage.

Hypocrites and liars the lot of them. Not that our bunch of fools in charge are any better..

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Large Hadron Collider gives young ALICE a black-hole ray gun

launcap
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astonishingly hot, dense soup?

Careful, you'll be getting sued by politicians for stealing their tagline..

(Would politicians make good LHC targets? Needs something incredibly dense that won't be missed if destroyed..)

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Sysadmins rebel over GUI-free install for Windows Server 2016

launcap
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Re: Does anyone actually run Server Core?

We tried. And discovered that the 3rd party middleware stuff we used (and quite a few of the MS tools) whinged horribly or wouldn't run.

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LightSail mission stalled by .CSV log file embiggenment SNAFU

launcap
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"roughly the size of ten compressed music files"

Depends on the genre :-)

For some of the songs on my phone it would be a subset of the song..

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Milking cow shot dead by police 'while trying to escape'

launcap
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Re: Just for you townies...

> someone doing 60 mph and hitting a stationary 1 tonne lump

I've seen the results of a Ducatti cutting a lamb in half in Scotland (Ducatti mostly survived - was still just about ridable). Lamb slightly less so.

Picking scorched wool and bits of lamb out of the front of the fairing and engine not so amusing.

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Adjustments will be needed to manage the Macs piling up in your business

launcap
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FAIL

Yosemite and AD

In a word - pathetic.

We have AD. It worked fine (for a slightly flaky version of fine but we knew where the issues were and how to avoid them or mitigate them) on Mavericks, Lion, Mountain Lion, Snow Leopard etc etc.

Then comes along Yosemite. We can persuade it to bind (eventually - by being specific about the OU where the machine account is) but it won't actually use AD to authenticate. It just sits there and gives 2100 errors (and virtually nothing in the way of diagnostics).

My home AD works fine (same domain level, same-ish structure).

So - we have to use AdmitMac and pay for something to do what the OS should do (and did do pre-Yosemite).

Not that I'm annoyed about it or anything. Or being moaned at.

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Self-STOPPING cars are A Good Thing, say motor safety bods

launcap
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Re: Highway Code Distance

> suggest you keep a 2 second distance from the vehicle in front.

That's been the case for motorbike training for a least 25 years. "Only a fool breaks the two-second rule".

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launcap
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Re: Break vs. brake

> ...and if that's my Alfa, it often breaks suddenly and without warning

That's part of the spec! Just like it is on most Italian motorbikes (electronics designed for nice sunny Italian weather really, really doesn't like northern European island weather..)

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launcap
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Re: Speed limit reduction

> camera system will track, spot, and react faster than us in and it's about time

> such systems are mandatory fit

Which is all very well but fails to take into account that the vast majority of cars round you won't have that feature. So you might save yourself from hitting the car in front but your (probably) unexpected braking might mean the person behind you in their older-spec car just goes into the back of you..

(Firm believer in the 2-second rule. Which makes me very much a minority on the roads, especially as you get closer to main conurbations)

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launcap
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Re: I hope this is programmed right ...

> rely on the auto braking of the cars they are cutting up

Morris Minors don't have auto-braking.. (well - sometimes they have auto-fail-to-starting but that's a different issue)

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BARMY bio-boffins are growing DINOSAUR SNOUTS on CHICKENS

launcap
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Re: Send a few to South Florida

> What could possibly go wrong?

South Florida could be completely depopulated? Oh - you said "go wrong". Carry on :-)

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TomTom MyDrive brings satnav syncing to PCs and mobiles

launcap
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Re: Google maps does all this already...

> It'll be a long while before built in is actually in most cars - is it even in "most cars sold today"?

I know one car it won't be in for the forseeable future - my wifes 1966 Morris Minor 1000. It barely has electrics, let alone electronics..

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Range Rover Sport: Like a cathedral on wheels, only with comfier pews

launcap
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Re: Wotcha driving Simon?

>>"you might think that something which does 0-60 in 6.5 seconds is sporty"

>I do. That's pretty quick.

.. unless it's a motorbike. In which case it's pathetically slow.

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Welcome, stranger: Inside Microsoft's command line shell

launcap
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Re: paths

>> “Bad command or file name” message

>To be fair, that's true in *n*x shells as well.

However - most *n*x shells are not set up (unless the sysadmin is *really* clueless) with . as one of the PATH entries..

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Stuff your RFID card, just let me through the damn door!

launcap
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Extra kudos

For using lyrics from Lamb Lies down on Broadway..

Kids today eh? A long song means one that's 4 minutes. *4 MINUTES*. That's not a song, that's an intro!

Pah.

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El Reg assembles mighty Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse

launcap
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Interesting wrinkle..

.. would be trying to do the challenge in a way suitable for a type-2 diabetic - ie restrict the simple carbs heavily - so no rice (except small portions of Basmati - it has a different starch type to standard long-grain that has a much lower glycaemic load), limited use of potatoes or pasta (both quite high glycaemic load).

Of course, lentils, chickpeas et. al. are still suitable so I suspect a more Mediterranean or Indian diet would be more suitable.

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Dead Steve Jobs' wage-fixing pact in Silicon Valley was news to us, claim Apple directors

launcap
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FAIL

Re: Righto!

> If you're a senior director and you don't know about something happening at your company that is

> delivering your biggest cost saving

Most directors care very, very little about employee matters (apart from making sure that they hire the right people - for whichever version of 'right' applies).

That kind of stuff is usually left to HR staff and/or lower level minions.

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Tesco broadband goes TITSUP, world keeps turning on wobbly-wheeled trolley

launcap
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Re: Demon offloading too.

<BoringOldFart-Mode=on>

I can remember when Demon were a proper ISP - in fact my first such. You always remember your first ISP..

Somewhere around 1992/3 I think. Along with Slackware 0.99pl15.

</BOF-Mode=Off>

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Don't shoot the Messenger: NASA's suicide probe to punch hole in Mercury

launcap
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Re: "its final contribution to the scientific canon"

> "its final contribution to the scientific canon" most fittingly will be KABOOM!!

Aha! That's where the penguins from Madagascar went..

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Google’s plan for WORLD DOMINATION takes shape. And it begins with a patent

launcap
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Re: I'm impressed.

> Computer-controlled taxis lorries and trains

Even the London Underground - especially when they used carboard punch-card to control things..

(And lets not forget DLR - one of my brothers helped write the early sinalling and control stuff for that. Probably one of the reasons I never use it..)

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Life after Nokia: Microsoft Lumia 640 budget WinPho blower

launcap
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Happy

I hope..

..that they offered that Boxer a good deal to appear in a Lumina ad.. free milkbones for life? As many Scooby Snacks as he can eat?

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Bloke hits armadillo AND mother-in-law with single 9mm round

launcap
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Re: Ah

> buy a shotgun though" ...who for, the MIL or bloke?

Yes.

The armadillo probably needs an improved stealth field and a minigun.

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launcap
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WTF?

Re: IT Angle

> I'll refer you to their menagerie: http://www.oreilly.com/animals.html

So - enquiring minds want to know - how do they select the animals? German Shepherd for Mac OS X pocket guide?

Some make sense (the Tsetse fly for one of the Oracle guides for example) but I get the sense that they have a bunch of animal names in a random generator and press the button whenever they bring out a new book..

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Incomprehensible boffins bring quantum computers a step closer

launcap
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Go

So..

.. will this give us ansibles[1]? Imagine - two entangled photons captured in separate wafers and (until they de-entangle) changes to one instantly affect the other..

I want my flying ansible!

[1] Tips hat to Ursula K Le Guin who originated the term. As well as NAFAL.

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Struggling through the Crystal Maze in our hunt for a spare CAT5

launcap
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Re: WiFi

> Wifi is for lazy people who can't be arsed with running CAT5e through the building.

And people that work in listed buildings[1] where immeasurable paperwork is required to add CAT5/6 ducting or make holes in walls that date from the 13th century[2]..

[1] Obviously though not the ones made when a 12" wall was considered a flimsy temporary structure. Especially with lots of granite in the mix.

[2] This is, of course, the classical definition of an edge case. Unless it happens to be *your* working environment.

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ALIENS ARE COMING: Chief NASA boffin in shock warning

launcap
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Re: Predictions...

> He is a she...

And walks on the wild side?

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launcap
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Re: Sir

> all we need to do is crack fusion

Nah. What we really, really need is to discover thiotimoline! Or (reaching even further back in my reading habits) discover how to negate inertia whilst simultaneously discovering/being given personal devices that enable telepathy..

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launcap
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Mushroom

Re: Actually.... @AC, and the Power of Global Operating Devices

> A fully operational battle station, I presume?

> I vote for one which could be mistaken for a moon.

Maybe (gasp) we already have! Those are not random craters y'know..

Either that or the egg of some myserious space creature that can (equally mysteriously) generate an egg that weighs the same as it did without causing eddies (hi Eddie!) in the space-time continuum.

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Oh no, Moto! Cable modem has hardcoded 'technician' backdoor

launcap
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Happy

> As far as I'm concerned, a modem or cable router or ADSL router is just a modem. It's also the >"hostile" side of the network.

Indeed. As a certified paranoid (what else do you call someone who has a background in networks and security?) I'm very, very loathe to trust a manufacturers idea of security.

Might be a bit OTT for a single home-user though. I suspect there a few of those on El Reg though

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Bone-tastic boffins' breakthrough BRINGS BACK BRONTOSAURUS

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Happy

Re: Not what I expected...from the headline.

> porcuswine burger...

A man/woman/being of taste! Slippery Jim DiGriz for President!

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Halifax's '24/7' online banking service is down YET AGAIN

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FAIL

Re: So what's new?

> apart from when you get a message saying "there's been an error, try later"

Sounds like they have been taking lessons from Vodafone and/or Three..

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Nuclear waste spill: How a pro-organic push sparked $240m blunder

launcap
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Re: Three points

> they didn't have a proper specification of materials? It just said "mix it with some cat-litter." ?

Specification was presumably read from a marketing handout..

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launcap
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Re: Why not organic kitty litter?

> Got to have something to do with all the newspapers and Weetabix byproducts...

Ours is compressed wood pellets - once the (ahem) solids are sieved out, the remainder can go into the compost heap where it makes a quite nice accellerator..

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It's the FALKLANDS SYNDROME! Fukushima MELTDOWN to cause '10,000 Chernobyls' in South Atlantic

launcap
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Re: I'm disgusted!

> The only consolation is the penguin is strangely fresh due to a touch of gamma irradiation ...

Oh noes! Does that mean we'll shortly be invaded by giant mutated dachshunds?

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