* Posts by Guido Esperanto

136 posts • joined 9 Jul 2010

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The Register Guide on how to stay anonymous (part 1)

Guido Esperanto
Holmes

hmmm

"blocking advertisements altogether deprives the websites you love of the revenue they need to survive."

I see what you did there.

However I take the typical "If a tree falls and no one is around, does it make a sound?"

In translation. "If I'm not swayed by adverts at all, so will never click on them, whose harmed if I block the ads?"

I'm sure there are many sites that supplement or generate total income through PPC ad revenue. But they make nothing from me directly. Never have, never will.

And while it would pain me to lose a site to a financial defecit, I've got to be honest, I'm quite fickle and just google the subject matter until I find another suitable site.

Additionally, I have to second Big Yins comment about advertisers using underhand tactics to have their ads displayed, only makes me more determined to block them.

With that in mind ,I've found I only ever need to use noscript for all my blocking needs.

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Man builds smartphone dock into arm

Guido Esperanto

incorrect apple response.

Apple did actually offer to help, but advised they only provided an all-in-one prothesis which cost 50% more than comparable types but the phone and dock were non-replaceable parts.

All Apple required was a fingerprint from each han....err.....

"We are unable to help"

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Crims prefer old exploits: Microsoft

Guido Esperanto

hmmm

meatbags are the weakest link...again....

anyone surprised?

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'Angry Bird in the Sky' spotted by astronomers

Guido Esperanto
Facepalm

I see a goatse in that image...am I truly damned?

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GM OnStar cars will upload all data unless owners opt out

Guido Esperanto

"What next? On-board breathalyzer/blood-test that must be taken before the car will start, and report you to the rozzers?"

Not so "what next" as "just upon us"

http://www.testsymptomsathome.com/als21.asp

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Guido Esperanto

......YET.

If the capability is there, some numpty in a parliment will give cause for it to be used.

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Facebook 'personal' news feed gets algorithm rejig

Guido Esperanto
FAIL

hmmm

nope not event the FB App is immune to this fubar.

A refresh on my droid shows me feeds considered "top stories"....

how exactly do you define a "top story"....does you algorithm enter my head?

....maybe not yet, but in the next upgrade.

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Why was Duke Nukem Forever s**t?

Guido Esperanto

/title

The single problem with Duke, and this came before the actual release, was that the legacy of Duke and its vapourware status created such a shadow, no actual release would ever be good enough.

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Skype for iPhone makes stealing address books a snap

Guido Esperanto

hmm

this problem exclusive to iphone or are droids susceptible as well?

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US Matrix-style Cyberwar firing range moves forward

Guido Esperanto
Coat

$10 mil extra?

I mean all they need is a couple of hundred computers, running various flavours of OS,

couple of ISP style switches, few routers, firewalls and an ass load of cable.

ok, I'm being a pedant, but if they are "mimicking the internet" their isnt MUCH more too it.

/mines the one with the blank government cheque book....all signed :D

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Online gamers strike major blow in battle against AIDS

Guido Esperanto
Thumb Up

/title

An article that doesnt paint gamers as being do'ers of evil, and mass murderers in hiding....about bloody time.

nice job on the foldit team to actually create a piece of "entertainment" that harnesses the collective power of gamers worlwide for the good of mankind.

Its a small step, but enough to start the gamer naysayers to re-consider their thoughts that its a "waste of time"

Gamers 1 - 1 Society

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Kiwi rugby rats warned to keep eye on the hacker ball

Guido Esperanto

this is NZ we are talking about, so its kind of back to the future-esque

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More transistors, Moore’s Law, less juice

Guido Esperanto

its coded for IE

so sloppy closing tag omissions are passable. :D

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Guido Esperanto
Joke

Guido's Law

------------------------------------------------

Over time

<item> will become faster/slower

<item> will become larger/smaller

<item> will cost more/less

--------------------------------------------------

Delete as appropriate. I'll take my royalties now please

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Dead Island

Guido Esperanto

uttered from the Zombie on Dragons Den

I'm out.

levelling the bad guys with you is a pure chewbacca defense....it makes no sense.

you are not rewarded for spending time, you in fact punished for it.

bethesda lost me as a fan when they did this with oblivion, looks like Im gonna avoid this one too.

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AMD snags Guinness World Record for clockiest chip

Guido Esperanto

give it a week.....

this GWR is probably gonna be like a game of pong now.

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Hacker defaces Irish Catholic paper: 'Gotta love false hope'

Guido Esperanto

totally agree

Atheism is a state of mind, not a fanclub.

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Two Larrys to go head-to-head in Google-Oracle case

Guido Esperanto

The most amusing results would be

1: Page.."After careful and thorough discussion and negotiation we could reach no common ground or reasoning, so instead we finally settled with Paper Scissors Stone"

2: Ellison "I've decided to take Page as my next bride and you can look forward to our wedding this Christmas"

3: Page: "After careful and thorough negotiation, Mr Ellison made a decent offer and so I've decided to sell up Google to him....see here is my signature in blood...sorry Sergey"

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Glow-in-the-dark kittens to help produce cure for AIDS

Guido Esperanto
Mushroom

Local mice in the area rejoice and submit a new LOLCat

On a serious note, I await the wash of PETA organised hate against this company. An organisation that furthers the cause and reduces suffering of animals...by increasing suffering in humans... :D

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Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

Guido Esperanto
Mushroom

As Scott Adams (Dilbert Creator) once said

"never understimate the stupidity of the general public"

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Guido Esperanto
Facepalm

A fool and their money....

Although I'd gladly pay to watch some fool explain why they have a smartphone taped to their face.......

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ChaCha promises answers-by-SMS for free, sort of

Guido Esperanto

/title

African or European swallow?

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Sweden rolls out invisible infrared tank

Guido Esperanto

comedy 1 - 0 pedantry

It would appear 21 people min got the reference, and 21 people either couldnt be arsed with the pedantry or actually thought the reference was still funny.

Wheres Big Billy Goat Gruff when you need him?

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Guido Esperanto

the good bad and the title

"Boris wouldn't see it coming"

not if it was imaged to look like a big red C on the floor....

maybe just let it fire when his heat signature is in range :D

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IBM builds biggest-ever disk for secret customer

Guido Esperanto

/title

GCHQ, FBI, CIA, MI5/6, Europol

All nicely packaged in a fully reported access db :D....with service provision from the likes of EDS.

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Tablet wars set for Apple vs Amazon head-to-head

Guido Esperanto
Boffin

/title

=IF

I make technology product that people will like

AND

I market said product in way that appeals to all ages

AND

I put a decent price tag on item to bring in a nice profit margin

AND

I develop my product lines in keeping with changes in consumer needs and requirements

THEN

I will be > all tech companies in the world.

ELSE

I will fail like the rest.

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HP Pre 3 punters peeved as expected price cut is a no show

Guido Esperanto

re: Epic Fail

its a dangerous gambit on HP's behalf.

The price cuts for the touchpad to induce demand, showed that at the original price of £300-400 no-one thought they were worth the money.

Rumour of <£100 and people figures its WELL worth the money, so as you mentioned reserve at full price (even pay at full price)...to ensure bargain is obtained.

However, HAD HP not followed through with its price cut, I'd state my house on 95% of those webos devices being returned the following day.

I know thats what we planned to do with ours!!!.

If they try the same strategy with the palms and not follow through with a price cut, they will suddently be left with an ass load of stock they cannot shift, and more so, people will want MORE of a guaranteed bargain before shelling out the cash for them a second time.

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Greyhound spatters Nashville with semen

Guido Esperanto

/title

I used to work for a business whose business was Bulls 'business' and I can certainly attest to its value. Some serious money to be made in getting a prize bull to flunk his junk into a flask...

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Facebook ditches Places - but embiggens location tracking

Guido Esperanto

i like to singa about the moona and the juna and the springa...

distinct smell of fullox if you ask me.

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Britain's iconic red phonebox turns 75

Guido Esperanto
Thumb Up

tatle, totle, tutle, tetle, tytle

To the rank smelling, broken glass wreckage of a local phonebox....

I salute you.

thems were the days, cramming 3 people into a box to prank call people....if you were really lucky two of the mates would be gurls.

If you were unlucky, some tw@t would hold the door shut....

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Jesus Phone gives Sprint redemption 'this October'

Guido Esperanto

bloody titles....grrr

sarcastic response to the caption against the graph....

took me a while too

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Misco reaps harvest of rage in Twitter Touchpad debacle

Guido Esperanto
Facepalm

dang

Shi$$y job just got Shi$$ier.

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Guido Esperanto
Mushroom

/title

this problem wasnt exclusive to Misco.

We tried many companies on Monday, who had "plenty of stock".....only on Tuesday morning when new prices were announced, that miraculously all their stock had gone.

A sales person at Insight stated "the company are likely to do a price drop around 1pm so staff can take advantage of the offer during their lunch break".

I'd wager that company staff obtained the majority. Still some shi$$y jobs need to have some perks.

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Ridley Scott confirmed for Blade Runner pre/sequel

Guido Esperanto
Facepalm

/scream

Just leave the franchises alone...FFS.

Bladerunner is a great movie and was made good by, the script, the actors and the technology available at the time, which while quirky, was believable.

These days the CG tech gives films an almost unrealistic sheen.

Not to mention the fact that Hollywood itself appears to be running out of fresh ideas. Okay I got another one.

Lets make Pulp Fiction 2. The people who loved it, are gonna come flocking thus earning us big box office $$$, but who gives a sheet if the films a turkey, which will almost spoil the enjoyment of the original.

There are some great books and minds out there that can provide original entertainment without having to re-visit something.

Sometimes you just gotta know when to leave something alone. Not doing so can leave a bitter taste in the mouth.

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Average sozzled Brit sinks 5,800 pints during life

Guido Esperanto
Facepalm

mistake indeed

you missed the cornicopia of other alcoholic refreshments in addition to the 58,000 pints.

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DARPA shells out $21m for IBM cat brain chip

Guido Esperanto

I'm missing a title, can anyone see it, it contains alphanumerical characters about <----> long

......And given you are taking 150K cores to solve this "problem" you better hope you end up with a pretty bloody amazing solution. 150K cores to plot an optimal trajectory to that mouse seems like overkill to me .....

If you recall a simple calculator once filled a large laboratory.....

Typically you throw whatever you can at a theory to prove it/get it to work, then when you have proof/working model, it gets refined.

I mean look at the LHC, in 100 years perhaps you may have a higgs-boson powered application on the latest iphone :D

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RIM BlackBerry Bold 9900

Guido Esperanto

title

I think you're bang on the money with BB's appworld being its achilles heel.

Apps are now touted a central point to expanding the use of your phone. Sure you may not want them, but if you do, there are thousands of free and paid for apps - on the droid or iphone markets.

Blackberry treats its appworld like a freakshow attraction. You can have a look if you want, but you'll be just fine if you ignore it.

That was all fine and dandy when RIM was seen as an business tool. But they are not seen that way anymore, and people are not content with just a secure reliable phone. They want the razzle dazzle of turning their phone into a torch, or install a new browser, or IM client or whatever takes the fancy.

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id Software Wolfenstein 3D

Guido Esperanto
Joke

surely some mistake

you mention gaming and macs in the same sentence.

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Facebook wannabe rioters cop large helpings of porridge

Guido Esperanto
Facepalm

/title

I'm mixed about this.

First and foremost, they got hauled in front of the beak and given a criminal record. Job well done.

I'm not so sure about the sentence length though and my comparison is this.

Those involved in the rioting/looting etc, have been hauled in front of magistrates and given sentences of between 4 & 6 months. (http://www.gmp.police.uk/disorderconvictions)

These guys, who tried to incite violence gets 4 years. I'm mixed because I cannot see what was worse, trying and failing to incite violence or actual being involved in the violence.

If they have incited and succeeded, then 4 year porridge would be minimum sentence in my view.

Any other views?

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PETA to launch .xxx smut site 'to help animals'

Guido Esperanto
Joke

title

thats almost like the infamous Buttered Cat Array.

Piece of toast buttered, attached to the back of a cat. Drop said Cat&Toast off ledge somewhere and watch in awe as subject rotates in midair.

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Guido Esperanto

/title

I can tell you something, trying to get my rocks off while skippy the mistreated puppy looks at me with his big brown eyes, isnt really gonna do it for me.

It may just become one of those "special interest" sites.

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People don't want tablets, they want iPads

Guido Esperanto

/title

"Ironically, Samsung's Galaxy Tab 10.1 would have challenged Apple in terms of size, weight and specs, ...."

no disrespect, but no one outside of tech circles has ever heard of the Galaxy Tab. The word synonymous with tablet devices is IPAD.

People who want a tablet I see fall into 3 categories.

Technical people: such as reg readership (who will buy devices purely on capability and technical merit).

Then you have Joe/Jane Public with £700 burning a hole in their pocket

Then Joe/Jane Public who dont have £700 to burn.

Give any Joe/Jane public a choice of tablets FOC and I'd say 99% would choose IPAD.

Its fashionable, its simple, its been marketed perfectly by Apple- much to every other manufacturers disgust.

I cannot see any tablet gaining as much popularity as the IPAD until something easier or more fashionable comes out, or has its own "must have niche."

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A-level results accidentally put on interwebs a week early

Guido Esperanto
Pint

/title

Welcome to instant access.

I had to go to school to pick up my GCSE, just before the "internet" gathered pace.

These days, it's all about willy waving and I'll argue the point with anyone who disagrees.

Schools want to see how "well" their students did at passing the exams, as it puts the schools curriculum of "teaching you how to pass an exam" right at the forefront.

The instant nature of technology (if done right Edexcel) means that schools can see on an offical day whose got the largest wanger.

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Guido Esperanto
Flame

/title

Do staff at EdExcel have to pass a competency exam before they are allowed to work there?

I mean realistically they only have a small window of opportunity (2-3 months) where their services are seen publicly, so you would expect that all effort goes into making those as perfect as possible.

But year on year, they seem to fail miserably in the public domain. Deity only knows what incompetencies are covered up during the other 9 months of the year.

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Star Wars fans offered Blu-ray deals and previews

Guido Esperanto

/fixed

.....George Lucas saying you haven’t given me enough money for Star Wars until you’ve bought it on Blu-ray,....."

There fixed it for you.

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Travelodge blames 'vindictive individual' for email database breach

Guido Esperanto

back in the day

I used to work for a telecomms company as a customer service agent.

During training the whole Data Protection Act was hammered home about its importance and also hammered home the belief that if caught contravening you could be personally sued.

Now, its feasible that these were just training scare stories, but even if true, the DPA aint worth shit these days. I see more and more reports of data being mishandled and that the ICO seem to do feck all apart from issuing a "stern" letter.

Health and Safety is a bit barking sometimes, but should a company be found to be negligent in the cause of an accident involving an employee, the top people COULD go to jail.

IF a company is found to be negligent and cannot take adequate safeguards to ensure the safety of peoples personal data then the top people should go to jail.

Its only when PEOPLE are held accountable for the actions on behalf of their company that data will truly be protected.

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Zuck's sister leaves Facebook to start new venture

Guido Esperanto

title

I'm re-inventing dictionary definitions also.

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Guido Esperanto
Thumb Up

words

but thats web 2.0 dahling.

You make something up, say it enough and it suddently becomes the norm.

I'll coin a new verb Fullox. Which is a conjoined effort of "fucking" & "bollocks" with a slight hip twist at the end using an X instead.

To Fullox - To make up your own word and pass it off as real.

Fulloxing - The art of making up words and passing them off as real.

Use Example: That marketing chick was well into her fullox flow.

"Ok ladies and gents, what I want here is a serious fulloxing session, we need the kids to utter our fullox on a regular basis.

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DOH! Housing contractor loses unencrypted stick down the pub

Guido Esperanto

not quite

I think Jeremy Clarkson made a foolish attempt to say the same thing and published his bank details. He was later left £500 short after funds were donated to a charity for his foolishness.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7174760.stm

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Ex-NetRatings CEO's daughter freed from collar 'bomb'

Guido Esperanto
Paris Hilton

advice

I'd caution any potential Romeos against giving gifts of necklaces, material ones or otherwise ;-)

Paris, well we know she likes Pearls

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