I bet the guy writing it was wearing "comedy" glasses while writing that line. We know the type; always says things like "I'm mad, me!" because no one would notice otherwise
72 posts • joined 31 May 2007
No Bonder? I mean, Bender...
- Do you want me to give you false hope?
- Only if you don't have any real hope...
About bloody time
It looks like you're trying to have a nervous breakdown
Would you like some help?
...controls for the windows are in the middle of the car, just behind the handbrake
I had a C(h)avalier that had exactly the same configuration. I loved that car. The passenger side had a lovely crop of moss by the time I traded it in...
We're all naked underneath our clothes anyway
I'm not; I'm wearing a vest
What the hell is a destruction derby then?
When I were a lad it was all jazz mags. Now I've grown up it's all jazz fags
I can hardly believe I'm about to correct this but it was trout a la grecque
@theodore I blame bad parenting
A few years back
I was demo'ing my newly installed media machine (running on older h/w) to a couple of friends to show off full screen films, but the little sod would not boot. After a few tries I'd had enough (a few beers helped) so I took a good run across the room and kicked it as hard as I could. Side caved in and it fell over. Righted it and it booted first time and never caused me another problem
Of course, I was in a heightened and slightly inebriated state at the time so it wasn't until the next morning I realised I'd taken my shoes off prior to the percussive maintenance. I swear I could hear it laughing as I hopped around with a broken toe
Anyone fancy starting a Kickstarter for a really big swatter?
That's the way
the bookie crumbles
Re: I have one
Congratulations on your well reasoned and argued response the OP's very salient point and not at all attempting to push your comment to the top of the thread regardless of its relevance
All hail society!
Re: Deliberate typo to prevent extraditions..
Possibly the best response I could have hoped for. I retract my complaint ;)
Did I just read the word 'enormo' in this article? The time saving must have been worth it or El Reg employs 12 year old Twitter followers?
Normally I ignore people saying the Reg has dropped to the 'standards' of The Sun but this is a bridge too far
Re: Escape from the Isle of Man
Re: My perfect telly!
And if it's not made by LG Lovefilm might work occasionally!
"Once snuggly in place"
It likes to snuggle?
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Go for it!
Thanks guys, now I keep thinking a leotard is someone fanatical about lions
You have been fined one half credit for a violation of...
I was playing with voice recognition and it got a phrase reliably so I tried another. Here's how it went:
'Actually, that's quite impressive'
'Backstreet breeder of dresses'
Also to get Assistant to call me 'Dan' not 'Down' I had to use a faux American accent
Wake me when the Android version is released
Accidentally ordered a bacon and cheese sandwich once (proper grated cheddar). Unexpected sandwichey goodness ensued
Maybe not quite worthy of the list but I think Airheads is a worthwhile honorary mention
It does feature a small cameo by Lemmy
I had to laugh when I clicked the bonus link and noticed the word 'Interesting' in the URL
Hmm, interesting. I can't help wondering what tactic is at play here: I hear so many teenagers (etc.) walking round with shite like this blasting out of a crappy little speaker to the annoyance of everyone else all the time. So, is this a tactic to confuse them into not answering their phones because they just assume they're being their normal, irritating selves?
'Is your phone ringing?'
'How do I tell?'
One of the digestive ones?
(note: I actually quite like Greenday)
I think I may be missing this enzyme entirely
I especially like the way it takes about 10 minutes to update every time I use it
"Recently met a friend that I knew online at her place. For safety I texted the address to a coworker and let him know where I was going (as it was away from home) just in case it went sour. Thankfully nothing happened (and it was a very good time!) but safety ahead prevented things from going sideways."
I'm not sure how you have arrived at this conclusion. Using the story as a template, you have given your co-worker the address of an empty building at which no trace of you will be found, you having been overpowered and kidnapped
Also, this is a failure only scenario: you won't know if it's safe until something 'goes sideways' and your plan is called upon to prove itself. It's like with backups, except testing them (in most cases) won't get you potentially killed
Taking someone with you, while not the perfect safety option, is at least proven. In this case it would have evened the odds and maybe even prevented it as the kidnappers were expecting a single person
I've always seen it as:
1) Disc: The actual word disc. Describes a round flat object (ref: accretion disc, LI styling) like an optical disc
2) Disk: Foreshortening of the word diskette: describes floppy disk(ette), magneto-optical disk(ette) etc.
Words are fun!
This may sound ridiculous, but
What about taking the batteries out?
Been using it on my original Desire since the day I had it from the stock browser
for that truly retro feel
Doesn't bother me
I couldn't find a bank that accepts peanuts so I get paid directly
Especially when used with Dropbox. Also both have Android apps (probably for other platforms too but I don't have the money to buy the handsets to check)
Does this make Japan
a "no Fry zone"?
Malawi: Country with the quietest politicians
Well, they all talk out of their arses don't they?
This is childish but...
I read your title and thought DARPA had happened upon a bright new idea
I've just upgraded my phone with O2. Initially the sales bod said the handset would cost me £60, my tariff period would extend from 18 to 24 months and I would have to pay £45 instead of £35p/m for the same contract level. So I asked to be put through to retentions (also had to explain what 'retentions' meant) and managed to retain my £35p/m contract of 18 months *and* got the handset for free.
But it doesn't stop there, oh no. I ordered on Friday and received a text on Sunday saying my phone would be with me the next day. Some screen protectors turned up. Confused, I called O2 back and they told me the handset was out of stock for another 9 days. So I had me a bit of a rant and convinced them to save me a handset at the local store. That didn't go too well and the store offered me the same deal as was first offered. I went home and had to elevate to speak to a manager who got me the phone from the store and honoured the 'retention' contract
So on the plus side the managers are competent and the call centres were UK based
On the negative side I shouldn't have needed to jump through all those hoops
Anyway, I got my handset and now to take it back because the battery is goosed
We had a PC in that was reported as non-functioning so we cracked it open. The insides were covered in a kind of green fungus and parts of the board had corroded quite heavily. Words can't describe the aroma emanating from this thing
Turns out the family dog had decided it was his territory and was routinely 'marking' it...
Nothing to do with the actual story...
But I salute your use of milliard, sir. Give us back our billion!
Cracked us all up at school when our Welsh teacher informed us you can always identify a Welsh car because it has Cym on the back
Lockin all over the world
Just wanted to say that really...
-+-+-+-+ OUT OF CHEESE ERROR +-+-+-+- REDO FROM START +-+-+-
A planet-busting missile or accidentally ending up on an alien equivalent of a friends page?
## Receiving: BEAM - OMG! Just had the biggest poo eva!