Feeds

* Posts by Jedit

831 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

Sun hacks cuffed after being DOBBED IN by News Corp

Jedit
Silver badge
Meh

"Eventually, every Eye reader is offended by something"

In my experience, Eye readers are mostly only offended by the behaviours they read about in its pages. That said, you're not a real Eye reader until you've cancelled your subscription at least once.

3
0

Fondle my slab, baby: Inside the tactile world of Apple-fan iDating

Jedit
Silver badge
IT Angle

"The users come back because they know what they're getting."

Yes - they're getting charged $5 a month to do what OKCupid lets you do for free. That there are also massively fewer potential contacts doesn't seem to matter to them, it's "weeding out the hoi-polloi".

The price of fruitdom is eternal virginity.

3
0

'These working conditions are appalling, especially for Apple'

Jedit
Silver badge

There's nothing good about sweatshop labour

On the other hand, there is a lot of difference between using sweatshop labour so you can sell a £99 smartphone, and using sweatshop labour when you're already selling your £499 smartphone for £599. One is making A profit; the other is making MORE profit.

1
1
Jedit
Silver badge

"Quite why it's worse because it's Apple is unclear."

That would be because unlike many other companies, Apple aren't using sweatshops to minimise costs so they can undercut competitors while still making a healthy margin. They're just trying to maximise profit, while suing rivals out of the market so they can charge whatever obscene premium they like.

Suggested new motto for Apple: "It just works, or else it gets the hose again".

8
8

Ten... Valentine's Day gifts for her

Jedit
Silver badge
Devil

I feel more like asking if they have any girlfriends at all

Does anyone seriously think that a woman will want anything called a Flow for Valentine's Day?

4
0

Groupon loses $42.7m in Q4, shares tumble

Jedit
Silver badge
Headmaster

"Why pay tax on a loss"?

Because a multinational corporation's tax bill is determined individually for each country. For example, say they make a $10m profit in the UK but a $20m loss in the US. They operate at a loss overall and pay no tax in the US, but are still taxed on their UK profits.

This being a company that sells things, there are also sales taxes to consider.

1
0

Toshiba releases 'world's thinnest' Android tablet

Jedit
Silver badge
FAIL

@Sean Baggeley

You will get less letterboxing watching a 1.85:1 or 2.39:1 picture on a 16:9 display than you will on a 4:3 display - that's basic mathematics. Moreover, the entire TV industry is now geared to making 16:9 displays and the vast majority of new monitors are also 16:9. As a result, it is increasingly common for TV shows and websites to be designed for the widescreen format. So, tell me again how 4:3 is a better aspect ratio for tablets when the media you are likely to view on them is made with 16:9 formatting in mind?

Oh, sorry, you already answered that one, didn't you? "4:3 is better because Apple do it that way!"

1
0
Jedit
Silver badge
Thumb Down

"Some people use their tablets for things other than watching movies"

I imagine most people do. However, many people do use their tablets for watching movies, and those people will not buy a non-widescreen tablet because the movies look better on a widescreen. Designers are not going to alienate a large section of the market for the benefit of the microscopic fraction who actually *want* a 4:3 screen.

0
2

Upgrade eliminates Atlantis from Google Earth

Jedit
Silver badge
Joke

Wales at the bottom of the ocean?

How would this improve the place? The only difference would be it wouldn't rain as much.

1
0

Jackpot: astronomers tag Goldilocks planet

Jedit
Silver badge
Headmaster

"Coould we have life without water?"

Theoretically. However, nobody gives a toss because the objective of these searches is to find planets that are like Earth, and which could be explored or even colonised if we ever develop the technology to reach them.

1
0

Google 'chooses' not to censor Mosley content, MP says

Jedit
Silver badge
Coat

Slap the cuffs on the press

Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!

0
0

Android users more likely to put out

Jedit
Silver badge
Joke

Best phone for a young British lesbian?

The one with the strongest haptic feedback, obviously.

Real conversation overheard in Tesco's phone section:

"It says this phone is exciting. Should I be excited by my phone?"

"Dunno - is it set to vibrate?"

9
0

The Register Comments Guidelines, 2012

Jedit
Silver badge
Trollface

If trolling is forbidden...

... do we still need the icon for it?

0
0

Why I'd pay Apple more to give iPad factory workers a break

Jedit
Silver badge
Big Brother

"They'll do the minimum they can get away with"

No, actually they'll do less than the minimum. After the explosion at Foxconn, Apple moved some of their iPad manufacture to Pegatron - who have an even worse record for workers' rights, if such is possible. Apple don't give a damn, so long as their devices are made for the cheapest price and they make the most money.

Incidentally, during the trial production run at Pegatron there was another minor explosion. It is believed that both explosions were caused by aluminium dust catching fire. Other manufacturers use aluminium backs on their tablets, so why is it only Apple who have assembly-line fires?

1
0

Surprise: Neil Young still hates digital music

Jedit
Silver badge
FAIL

Neil Young hates digital music

Which is presumably why the Blu-ray and DVD versions of his Archives: Volume 1 box set include codes to download all the songs as MP3s.

0
1

iPhone 5 rumoured to be packed with pay-by-bonk tech

Jedit
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

"A staggering achievement"

Stuff the 20 mile run - the bonk is enough to leave you staggering, if you do it right.

1
0

iPhone doc will detect cancer, diabetes - boffins

Jedit
Silver badge
Pint

An interesting idea

Now, consider the concept of linking a car ignition key to an app. Devices are already capable of retinal identification and thumbprint identification; add in the ability to detect blood alcohol levels, and it would be possible to have a car that you couldn't drive if you were over the legal limit.

1
0

German court rejects Samsung tablet appeal

Jedit
Silver badge

"Apple would have a better job not blocking it"

I agree, Gary, the device should be allowed to stand or fall on its own merits. If it's really as bad as you say then users will vote with their wallets - even if they don't want an iPad it's not like they're short of alternatives now. But Apple won't let the 10" Galaxy Tabs be judged openly, because that would take money and market share away from them - and God help them if it turns out the public think the Tab genuinely is better.

This is why I personally hate Apple; it's not the tight control on development, the fashion-victim pricing or the massive proportion of Apple users who are complete twunts. It's that Apple believe the only way to win a race is to stop anyone else competing. They've done it many times - by forcing all apps to be sold through the App Store, by prohibiting digital media publishers from undercutting the App Store, and now by preventing potential rivals marketing their products on the flimsiest of grounds.

3
3
Jedit
Silver badge
Flame

That's exactly what it's about

More precisely, it's about being a rectangle with a screen that is also better than Apple's product at the same price. Apple would be after the Transformer Prime, too, if it weren't for the dock.

11
1

US entertainment lawyer casts doubt on Megaupload case

Jedit
Silver badge
Angel

Oh, I like this

The RIAA/MPAA want to exert the laws they paid for to bypass Dotcom's legal defence, but they can't. If the matter is pursued as a criminal case, there's a strong enough defence case to preclude his extradition. If it's pursued as a civil case a conviction is probably assured, but they can't get Dotcom to face the charges unless he goes to the US.

4
0

Apple Italy throws up ruling on its store site

Jedit
Silver badge

"Try and be aware of the laws"

Yes, because otherwise you may end up spending more than you have to on bribing the courts.

4
0

Boffins make graphene micro-distillery

Jedit
Silver badge
Pint

Degrees, not percentage of proof

I am aware of this, thanks. However, I was coming to the end of my lunch break and didn't have time to find the proper symbol.

Also, please do follow my link. You sound like you might appreciate it.

0
0
Jedit
Silver badge
Boffin

You aim too low

When it comes to advanced scientific brewing techniques, one should be aiming for at least 300% proof. 307 Ale, my boys, 307 Ale...

http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858848784/

0
0

UK sight-loss charity sues BMI

Jedit
Silver badge
Trollface

Hmmm

It seems we also need legislature to assist people who spontaneously orgasm when they view websites. We can't have them ... deprived ... can we?

1
0

North Korea labels phone users war criminals

Jedit
Silver badge
Facepalm

Yes...

.... because the only way to deal with a subjugated people whose leaders are systematically blocking any chance they might have to organise their own freedom is to commit genocide against them.

Moron.

1
0

iPad Fleshlight lets fanbois express their love

Jedit
Silver badge
Headmaster

Well, actually...

... if the Romans found a legionnaire having carnal knowledge of another man, he would be stoned and beaten to death by his own comrades. And people complained about DADT...

0
0

New forum Wishlist

Jedit
Silver badge

Direct links to posts

Or failing that, notifications when someone directly replies to your post or to the thread - God, even Memebase has that. As is, the forums aren't much more than a fire-and-forget comment board; holding an actual discussion is very hard.

6
0

Groupon banned from selling SNAKE OIL

Jedit
Silver badge
Trollface

But it MUST work!

I mean, when was the last time you saw a wrinkly snake?

7
0

iPad users 'risk shoulder pain', say US gov, Microsoft boffins

Jedit
Silver badge
Coat

Your scenario is a statistical outlier

Most of us don't lie on the sofa, with the TV on our wife, watching something rubbish.

1
0

Google finally admits it wants to OWN YOU

Jedit
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Playboy?

No, honestly ... I only read El Reg for the good articles.

5
0

American search team fails to find women's G-spot

Jedit
Silver badge
Joke

There's no difference between sex and tech support

Have you tried turning your woman off, then turning her on again?

22
0

Spam-squirting hole found in McAfee antivirus kit

Jedit
Silver badge
IT Angle

Excellent news

Now all McAfee need to do is patch the vulnerability in their installation program where the program installed turns out to be McAfee.

(Why am I questioning the IT angle? Because when you're talking about McAfee, "IT" is only ever half the story.)

0
0

Modeling-clay iPads foisted on unwary Canucks

Jedit
Silver badge
Coat

Cashless clay

Please ... he changed his name after converting to iSlam.

1
1

Teen net addicts pee in bottles to stay glued to WoW

Jedit
Silver badge
FAIL

"Where the hell are the parents?"

I imagine they are reading that bastion of truth and morality, The Sun.

17
0

McDonald's punters offered sex in exchange for Chicken McNuggets

Jedit
Silver badge
Joke

It could have been worse

"Happy Meals - now with happy endings!"

3
1

Woz praises Android, blasts iPhone limitations

Jedit
Silver badge
FAIL

"My girlfriend is very technically literate"

Really? I can't see how she has problems joining your home network, then. My Droid automatically connects to my home network. It also automatically connects to my friend's home network when I'm visiting her in Edinburgh, to the O2 Cloud network, and indeed to any wi-fi network I have previously given it the password for. Likewise, getting apps onto the SD card is done by a single keystroke in my app manager. Transferring data onto the phone is *literally* a matter of dragging and dropping in Windows.

I submit that your girlfriend is not technically literate at all, assuming she doesn't live in Canada. And neither are you, or you would have made up better lies.

11
1

Steve Jobs action figure kicks the bucket

Jedit
Silver badge
Joke

"Steve Jobs action figure kicks the bucket"

Wow - it's even more realistic than I thought!

Yeah, yeah, I know...

7
0

Apple will not kill iPad 2 at iPad 3 debut

Jedit
Silver badge
Holmes

"Mop up excess demand, or don't restrict buyers to the more expensive model"

I note that the article does not suggest that Apple may release the iPad 3 at the current cost of the iPad 2 and discount the older model. But then, El Reg hacks don't just make things up out of thin air like they do on some other sites.

0
0

Apple touts touch-free perspective-powered 3D tech

Jedit
Silver badge
Thumb Down

"Apple patents aren't always an indicator of the tech just around the corner"

No, they're more commonly an indicator of existing tech created or dreamed up by someone else.

5
2

Apple iPad 3 to sport LTE '4G'

Jedit
Silver badge
Facepalm

"Can we get the Reg Hardware page without current technology news?"

The icon says it all.

2
3

'My product is driPhone, not iPhone'

Jedit
Silver badge
Coat

I'm not so sure about that

If he was, then he wouldn't have a point of view. He'd also be a bit like you and me, which he isn't.

Mine's the full-body one in tasteful yellow.

1
0

Apple Beijing store egged in botched iPhone 4S launch

Jedit
Silver badge
Thumb Up

"Or capitalists?"

I was thinking "staff", myself.

0
0

Apple, Amazon and Google take lazy punters hostage

Jedit
Silver badge
Joke

"I'm a dentist and I'd much rather deal with iTunes"

Thus confirming all our worst fears about dentists. "Is it safe?"

1
0

Go Daddy not liable for cybersquatting, US court rules

Jedit
Silver badge
FAIL

"What's the big deal?"

You're seriously asking why a company hasn't registered every domain that can be related to its name, with every suffix available?

0
0

Doomsday Clock ticks one minute closer to annihilation

Jedit
Silver badge
Angel

Preventing procreation can be fun!

You don't have to be willing to put your gonads where your mouth is, so long as someone else is willing to put your gonads where their mouth is...
5
1

Hubble shows images from record-breaking 13.1 billion light-years

Jedit
Silver badge
FAIL

"The universe is asymmetrical, so science is false!"

Er, no. Even had the Big Bang been a perfectly even explosion, the universe would not be symmetrical because it is composed of different types of matter with different weights. This in turn affects both the gravity in and the velocity of various parts of the universe. The distribution of mass would have shifted within picoseconds of the Big Bang.

1
0

Tesla 300-mile e-car UK debut set for 2013

Jedit
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Swappable batteries

A great idea, but it depends on how swappable they are, how expensive they are, and if they can be charged while not in the car. If the answers to these questions are "as easily as your mobile phone battery", "less than £1000" and "yes", then there would be a lot of mileage (excuse pun) in keeping a couple of spares charged at home and packing them into the car when you need to make extra-long trips.

0
0

VW catches electric Beetle

Jedit
Silver badge
Boffin

"They think electricity grows on trees"

Well, given that much of our electricity comes from fossil fuels, and fossil fuels are the remains of ancient forests, arguably it does grow on trees.

3
0

Profs call for harsh taxes on sweet carbonated beverages

Jedit
Silver badge
Boffin

It's already in official Reg units

There just comes a point where measuring in Olympic swimming pools becomes unwieldy, and one is forced to measure in Suez canals instead. This point has now been reached.

9
0

LG: 1mm bezel on your telly, anyone?

Jedit
Silver badge
Headmaster

It has nothing to do with the bezel

As you don't seem to be aware: active 3D TVs work by alternating their display between an image for the left eye and an image for the right eye. The glasses you use to watch 3D on these screens have shutters that alternately close in sync with the images on the TV, so all you see in your left eye is left eye images and vice versa. The speed at which this occurs is faster than your optic centres "refresh", so your brain gets a continuous stream of data.

What LG have done is devise a system where the "left eye" image is player 1's screen and the "right eye" image is player 2's screen. The glasses are then set up to close both shutters simultaneously, so each player's glasses only let him see images for his own game. The result is full-screen play for two players on the same TV.

2
0