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* Posts by Jedit

875 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

Apple adds gay and lesbian icons to iOS 6 messaging

Jedit
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Angel

"Have to say I can't wait until part 2."

Yes, perhaps part 2 will explain how Apple got all of that into one icon.

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Another investor pulls out of Habbo Hotel after grooming claims

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Black Helicopters

"Does the name "Sean Connery" mean anything to you?"

No, but the name Jamesh Bond does!

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Headmaster

"Its spelt surely not shurely."

Unless you are riffing on Private Eye, where "shurely some mistake?" is one of their catchphrases.

By the way, thanks for remembering to include the ironic spelling mistake that is obligatory in any grammar-Nazism post. (It's spelt "it's", not "its".

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E3 2012: Prepare to have your buttons pushed

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FAIL

"where are all the games for the PS VITA?"

Listed at the bottom of page 2, as you'd know if you'd read the article before loading up Instant Gratification (6-Year-Old Edition).

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AMD and Nvidia extreme GPUs workout

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Thumb Down

"If all you do is pew pew pew on your screen, your budget thing is OK."

Yes, and as this is a discussion of high-end cards for gaming then "the budget thing" is a perfectly valid subject of comparison. Nobody's denying that top quality CAD/art monitors are better and necessarily cost more than a low priced gaming monitor, but your design work is wholly irrelevant to the discussion in hand and bringing it up only makes you look like a snob.

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Jedit
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Stop

"£600 for a 2560x1440 monitor"

You're talking rubbish if you think a 2560x1440 monitor will cost £600. Yes, you will pay through the eyes for a Dell, but I have a perfectly acceptable Hazro 27" plugged into my PC running at 2560x1440 that cost me under £300 brand new.

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Samsung 'to launch Galaxy S III in US', snubs Apple's ban bid

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Devil

"or get delayed long enough for Apple to copy its innovations"

... then claim they did it first and file a patent infringement suit.

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Watchdog relieves iPhone 5 scammers of £10k

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"I read it as £10k fine + full refunds"

Full refunds to anyone who complains. Anyone who doesn't go through the complaints process will not get a refund - which many won't, as these things can be somewhat tortuous and not worth the effort for the sake of £2.

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Marathon

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FAIL

"Alien Breed? That was a top-down down shooter."

Very good, Sparky. Alien Breed 3D, on the other hand, was not.

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Flying Dutchman creates dead cat quadcopter

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Headmaster

Aerodynamic properties: dead vs live cat?

I don't know whether a live cat would be less or more aerodynamic than a dead one, but at least there should be no difficulties in landing it safely.

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UK music-rights collection: Where does all the money go?

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FAIL

"And what have you composed that I have heard?"

If he can't use an alias on the internet without risking discovery, why do you think he can name specific works he has composed that will identify exactly who he is to anyone reading?

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Firm applies for .sucks domain

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Pirate

".wtf would be more like it!"

Sorry, but as a Game of Thrones fan I have already claimed .wtf as the designator for websites hosted in Winterfell and the North. You can have one if you like ... but pay the gold price, not the iron price.

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Sony PlayStation 4 will not be download only

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Coat

Re: lol ..

When Freddie Starr was done, there was no F in hamster either.

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Galaxy S III pay-monthly tariffs compared

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No, you don't HAVE to get the Android

But as the Galaxy S2 was more of a phone than the iPhone 4S and the S3 is better than the S2 in every way, I think that if I were faced with a choice between an iPhone and an S3, I would go for the massively superior product at the same price.

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Samsung Galaxy S III

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FAIL

"Samsung is on attempt number 6 and they still failed"

Exactly. Samsung have put out their third revision of the most popular smartphone on the market and are still somehow failing - I say "somehow" because I don't know how they are failing. So they should switch to Windows Phone, which is now on attempt number 7 and still most definitely failing to acquire a market share.

Troll Score: 0/10. Or should that be 0 out of 7?

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Samsung snafu grounds blue Galaxy S III

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Paris Hilton

"... nobody at the factory considered a 12" phone unusual"

Do I not recall Samsung releasing one of their early tablets with a phone built into it?

(Paris ... though admittedly, more because of the question mark than the unusual 12 inches.)

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Diablo III dev rolls 12d6, scores PC sales record

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FAIL

"why do people fall for this DRM infected crap "

Do you even know what DRM is? Diablo III is an online game, of course you can't play it without an internet connection or when the servers are down. I personally wish it didn't require online play, before you reach for the downvote button, but the "DRM servers" you're ranting about don't exist.

Oh, and while you're failing so hard: being banned from the Blizzard forums does not prevent you playing their games. That's EA/Origin.

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The most dangerous job in America: Keeping iPhones connected

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Joke

Re: "iPhones cause herpes!"

Ridiculous unsubstantiated claims of that ilk are precisely the kind of shoddy, prejudiced alarmist reporting that gives The Register a bad name. Everyone knows you can't get herpes from an iPhone. It's syphilis.

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Diablo III

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"... it was only on Tuesday that I had issues"

Exactly. The login issues only existed on Tuesday, as Lucy Orr would know had she not - as usual - written her review based on a single gameplay session. The fix was deployed within 24 hours of launch.

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Crooks sell skint fanbois potatoes instead of iPhones

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Mushroom

"Why is it an offence to separate a fool and his money?"

Yeah - and while we're at it, why is it a crime to steal a car if it's left unlocked, or to burgle someone's house if they leave a window open when they go on holiday?

Scammers and thieves don't stop being criminals just because the mark is a fool.

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Scammers exploit wannabe demon-slayers hyped by Diablo III

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FAIL

"Blizzard might go tits up!"

Blizzard earn a billion dollars a year from World of Warcraft subscriptions. They have already sold ten million copies of Diablo III from pre-orders. They're going nowhere.

Also, they were bought by Activision before they became so huge.

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Apple orders 10in iPad, moles claim implausibly

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Happy

Re: "Apple, who make Macs"

Does that mean the 17" MacBook Pro is a Big Mac?

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Head over Heels

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Headmaster

"We meet at last"

Nice Star Wars quote, but that's a screenshot from the very start of the game. Head and Heels start in adjacent rooms; Head can enter Heels's starting room, but they're separated by an impassable wall. It's pretty mental when they do meet up, but there's only a short period when they have to combine.

Fantastic game, though. Verily, they maketh them not like they used to.

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Britain prepares for government by iPad

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Stop

Re: @Jedit - "Why can't they buy their own?"

The system already allows for BYOD. I'm a government employee, and at work I use a 23" widescreen monitor that I supplied myself. The sticking point is that if it breaks, my employer has to replace it with another 23".

In and of itself BYOD is a great idea, and in smaller businesses it works a treat. However, when you're dealing with hundreds or thousands of employees the effort required to get so many different devices talking to each other is not cost effective. You're also faced with the issue of what to do when someone's personal property breaks in the course of doing their job; they have every right to claim a replacement from their employer, and the employer loses all savings from central procurement contracts because they can't establish a standard device to buy in bulk. It's easier and cheaper just to give everyone the same.

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Jedit
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Headmaster

"Why can't they buy their own?"

Because of government procurement regulations. You need special permission to use your own equipment at work - doubly so if it's something unusual - because if it breaks the government have to replace it like for like.

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GCSE, A-level science exams ARE dumbed down - watchdog

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Re: 2/3rd marks

Seems like you took your Maths exam in recent years. According to the original poster a score of roughly 66% was two marks *above* the boundary for A*. So where 20 years ago you needed 70% just for an A, you now get the grade above A for between 60 and 65%. That's not consistent at all.

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Textgram

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Devil

"No reason other than aesthetic."

The only reason I can think of to use this app certainly ends in "thetic", but it doesn't start with "aes".

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Moore's Law has ten years to run, predicts physicist

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Headmaster

"The Stone Age didn't end because the stone ran out"

Well, obviously - if it had, we wouldn't have been able to have a Silicon Age.

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iTunes fanbois outraged by Apple's sex-life quiz probe

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FAIL

"I literally cannot choose from the 2nd set of questions, none of them apply"

Fascinating. For none of the second set of questions to apply, you would have to have had no friends as a child and never have had a job or gone to school. While I can see someone buying into Apple because they have no mates and are desperately seeking approval, surely it's unlikely that the others don't apply?

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Boffins cross atom-smasher streams, 'excited' beauty pops into being

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Trollface

I have some bad new for you, Mr Young

It doesn't matter what colour the matter is or how much energy you put into your dick ... it's not going to get excited.

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Ten... eight-bit classic games

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Re: 8 Bit Coders in 2012

A lot of them are still working, mainly for phones as that's where it's still possible for simple, creative games to be made by one person. People who have an interest in the subject could do far worse than read Retro Gamer magazine, which often manages to interview the 8-bit creators and talks about what they're doing now. They even had 3D Monster Maze on the cover a couple of months ago.

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Tim Cook rejects Apple's old business model of suing everyone

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Joke

Re: ""we just want people to invent their own stuff"

How dare you denigrate the creativity of Apple! Don't you know how long and hard their engineers struggled to perfect the rectangle?

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ISPs torch UK.gov's smut-blocking master plan

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Joke

"Nothing warned me that this was going to happen."

I beg to differ. More than adequate warning for the gratuitous nudity in Starship Troopers was provided in the opening credits, where it said "Directed by Paul Verhoeven".

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BYOD is a ticking time bomb for B2B resellers

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Go

"it's their responsibility to make it fit for purpose"

A laudable goal, but sometimes impractical. I'm astigmatic and need to use a larger font to avoid eyestrain. The 17" screens my workplace supplies can certainly fit this font, but my effective screen real estate is reduced in the process. As I often use multiple windows that need to be cross-referenced, my job becomes harder if I cannot see them all at the same time.

So, I would like to have a larger monitor. However, because the standard monitor is still suitable for purpose, I would have to make a special business case and jump through multiple hoops to get it. This could take months, during which time I'll either get less work done or suffer regular headaches. Or, I could bring in a spare 23" that I had lying around doing nothing at home and use that. Which I am doing, right now. My business case is still processing, but until it gets filled or even if it gets rejected, I'll be able to work properly without hurting myself.

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Apple screws UK disties, punts just 13,000 iPads to channel

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Stop

16GB most popular?

That's quite surprising to me, because literally everywhere I went that wasn't completely sold out of everything had stocks of 16GB models both with and without 4G, and nowhere - including my local Apple Store - had anything else. Perhaps by "most popular" you mean it was the model that Apple ordered the most of - in which case, they've made a huge misjudgement of demand.

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Death Star dinosaur aliens could rule galaxy

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Headmaster

Re: "L-shaped amino acids"?

Good question. It's because "sinister" and "dexter" refer specifically to the left hand and right hand sides of an object, whereas "laevo" and "dextro" refer to the absolute directions. It's the difference between saying "take the road to your left" and "turn left", if you see what I mean.

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Headmaster

"L-shaped amino acids"?

The L and D aren't used because that's the shape the substance is. They stand for "Laevo" and "Dextro", which respectively mean "left" and "right".

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iPad to reign unchallenged as KING of FONDLESLABS

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Boffin

Re: Transformer...

Because a Transformer is just a netbook, but costs twice as much as one? Not that I'll quibble with your choice, I think it's a fine piece of kit, but you have to be using the Transformer as both tablet and laptop before paying the price premium becomes worthwhile.

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Jazz Jackrabbit

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Pirate

Re: This was an epic game

Jazz Jackrabbit is abandonware, I think - certainly there's been no official release since 1996, and an open source recreation project was put online in 2005.

Of course, if someone wants to do an official re-release or mobile recreation, I'm sure there'll be plenty of folks ready to buy it for the nostalgia value.

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TITANIC 'UNLIKELY' TO SINK AGAIN, says prof - apparently

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"Have these guy never heard the expression "tempting fate"?"

Stuff that, have they never heard the word "Concordia"? Cruise ship - check. Incompetent officers - check. Hit something it shouldn't have been near and sank? Check.

Maybe there wasn't such a great loss of life this time, but there's no better way to sound like a bloody idiot than to claim a historical event can't happen again three months after it did.

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'Unibody' iPhone 5 said to debut in October

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Boffin

"Not 4.6 inches? - Ed"

Of course not. Apple likes to keep its users in their comfort zone, and comfort includes how things fit in your hand. Apple users are used to having 0.6 inches less to hold than users of other phones, so Apple design accordingly.

... what? I'm talking about the screen.

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Game chain sold

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"If you make a product too cumbersome to use nobody will use it."

What are you talking about? The system he's describing is already in place and plenty of people are using it - it's called Steam. All Steam games are linked to a single account and cannot be transferred or re-sold, and yet somehow we all forgot to protest the inconvenience.

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Chinese to burn iPads in upcoming celebrations

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Headmaster

It's symbolic

The idea is that the fake items in this world translate to the real thing in the spirit world. So the luck money becomes legal tender to the gods, and all those paper iPads become fully functional iPads in the afterlife. Of course, they still can't get a 4G signal, but I suppose nothing is perfect.

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Apple New iPad 3 Wi-Fi + 4G

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Stop

That's not Herbie

It's one of those horrible Millennium Bugs in disguise.

There's a classic VW Beetle painted as Herbie near me. I know this because the little bastard nearly ran me over one day while I was walking home from work.

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Oz regulator to Apple: Don’t call it 4G if you can’t connect

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FAIL

"There's nowhere you can drive at that speed"

Of course there is. Speed limits only apply to public thoroughfares.

Also, to be fair to Apple - since they actually aren't in the wrong this time - their in-store advertising for the 4G iPad states clearly and visibly that its 4G functionality will only work on certain US networks. They are not trying to missell it.

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Half of iPad 3s sold will sport 4G, says bank

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FAIL

Re: If you have a smartphone...

Try reading the post. He has an unlimited data tariff.

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Reading plays host to live ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

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Thumb Up

"I know someone who would DIE for this."

Literally.

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Testicle-boiling new iPad ignites fanboi fury

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Coat

Cremation

If it's good enough for Steve Jobs, it's good enough for you!

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Blizzard ponders World of Warcraft for iPad

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Boffin

Two buttons?

The Reg article never mentioned two buttons; is it in the Eurogamer article that I can't access from work?

The default WoW UI is capable of displaying upwards of 60 buttons, and while you'd need to scale that back a bit to work on the iPad and further still for the iPhone, it should be possible to have a dozen buttons on the touchscreen.

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iPad 3 costs Apple 30% more to make than iPad 2

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Devil

"Cannily taken the cost on the chin"

Or as we like to think of it, "reduced their extortionate gouging a bit".

Apple didn't raise the price of the iPad 2.1 only because they know the market won't bear it. Even at the same price point it's not selling as many as they can ship the way the first two iterations did. A good business move, to be sure, but don't confuse it with altruism for a second.

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