853 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010
Re: Frankie Boyle...
A great victory for comedy would be Frankie Boyle being jailed for hate speech after his comments on the disabled. He's not funny, he's a mean-minded and nasty man who attacks literally anyone who can't fight back.
C'mon, we all know it's Charlie Stross under a pen name. We have the evidence.
"You're saying Apple quickly responded to an serious problem and that's a bad thing?"
No, he's deriding Metavisor's claim that Apple don't release software until the serious problems are all fixed. There obviously was some kind of serious problem in iOS 5.0 because as you say, Apple responded to it, so that claim is easily falsified.
By the way, one of the big selling points of Android devices over iOS is that if you don't like your version of the OS, you can install a different one without voiding your warranty. If you don't want to go into such technical depth then that's OK - I haven't done it myself - but the option is there if you want it.
Re: which was the first?
River Raid predated Spy Hunter, and both were preceded by Exidy's Death Race - though that wasn't strictly the same game.
The best Spy Hunter clone I encountered was a C64 game called Burnin' Rubber (not to be confused with the 1990 OutRun clone of the same name). It basically took the same style of game but swapped the theme for Death Race 2000.
"Do you expect blizzard to manufacture TWO ENTIRE VERSIONS of the game"
Nope. I just expect to be able to play by myself offline, or online with other players. You know, like in Diablo II. And Diablo. And Starcraft. And virtually every game with online multiplayer that has ever been published.
Re: Stop Press - Reg headline to CONTAIN random capitalized WORDS for no GOOD reason
There was plenty of reason for capitalisation, and the word so altered wasn't random. El Reg has run a number of stories about Brooks, Coulson et al testifying about phone hacking. Emphasising that they are now being charged rather than this being a continuation of the Leveson Inquiry lets the reader know that this is a new story rather than a recycling of old news. And as Reg headlines are already enlarged and emboldened and do not contain italics or underlining, the only tool they have for emphasis is capitalisation.
But thanks for demonstrating your profound ignorance of journalistic techniques, sentence construction and the story in question with a single dismissive statement.
"Universally agreed to be shite, and in desperate need of a complete rewrite"
Well, a website app can only ever be as good as the content...
(Sorry, Vulture hacks, but that one was just too good to pass up. IGMC)
He didn't even need to be able to read. The placard across the top of the TV that has a huge and obvious "3D" logo on it.
Re: I'm confused!
It should be mentioned that the total accumulates. If you win with your single free £10 bet, you can place bets wherever you like with the proceeds. So, start placing bets on both sides of wagers with only two possible results. This will lead to a slow decline, but it only has to be done once or twice to get up to a total of £30 in wagers placed. Once you've done that, make your balance back up to £30 then withdraw the lot.
"the Nexus survived 32cm fall onto a wooden floor"
The reviewer's table is only 13 inches tall?
""Premium haggis in a tin" seems like the very definition of an oxymoron."
Whut wid ye ken aboot it, ye Southron jessie? Ye widnae last five seconds in the Highlands. Ye'd be found deid, yir heart stopped and yir hair turned white as snow, after ye hear the terrifyin' wail of the haggis as it skirls across the moors!
Re: I misread it again
Boson! Make this scurvy swab walk the plank!
"They already do that"
Allow me to clarify. I know that fakes are already displayed in some museums and cities, for the purpose of preserving the original. However, the museums and cities in question do have the original. What the AC is advocating is making fake exhibits *instead* of acquiring originals, because "it's cheaper and it's just the same, innit?"
"Would be cheaper to make a replica from new."
Hey, what a great idea! Museums don't need to display actual historical objects - they can just make fakes and display those instead, because it's so much cheaper! While they're at it, they can pull down that tatty old Sphinx and put up a new one with a nose. Provenance? Who gives a damn?
"attempting the same solutions as the BOFH would most likely result in a P45 "
A good BOFH makes himself indispensable to the running of the system. Then, not only can management not fire you no matter what you do, they spend every day praying to the deity of choice for your long life and continued good health.
Just don't teach your subordinates too much before your retirement date is confirmed. They may try for promotion the old fashioned way.
"I could not think of a better advertisement"
A better advertisement it may be, Tanya, but that is of no use whatsoever when you cannot legally sell the product being advertised. It doesn't matter if everyone knows Apple are crooked, if they're the only game in town.
"You'll be claiming that they don't ban big winners next"
Casinos ban people who win big - and regularly - at games played against the house because the odds in such games are loaded in favour of the house. Anyone who wins them regularly is probably shaving the odds somehow, the most common method being card counting in blackjack.
However, casinos never ban people who win big at poker because it's not their money being won, and because having a famous poker player at your tables attracts gamblers through the door. Moreover, casinos make their money from poker through the rake, which is basically a small percentage tax on each hand. The bigger the hands, the bigger the rake - so keeping those big winners who play high stakes poker at the table is more profitable.
It means that by the time it is legal to sell the Nexus in the US, it will no longer be a competitor to the iPhone. In other words, Apple have managed to completely eliminate a rival product from the market without any need to prove that it was in reality infringing their patents, and in the worst case scenario will have to pay Samsung less than $100m compensation for the loss of perhaps $400m in raw sales plus loss of market share, visibility and reputation. The bond should have been $1 billion; if it had been, you can bet Apple would have withdrawn either the suit or the request for an injunction on sales.
"Opt in for smut" is already here
I already have an "opt in for smut" function built into my browser. If I do not want to view smut on the internet, all I have to do is not click on smut links.
"They should replace 'Nigeria' with 'Cupertino' to see their revenues shoot up"
Not really accurate. Yes, if you respond to Apple advertising you are likely to get fleeced of all your money by a gang of international criminals. However, unlike with Nigerian scams you do at least get the iProduct you paid for, and Apple are patent trolls rather than thieves and fraudsters (YMMV).
"Sorry, but how much 4:3 content is there, these days?"
Erm ... almost every TV show released before 1993?
It's worth noting that there was an unlicensed rollerball game for the Amiga, called Killerball. It didn't have the bikers or catchers, but the style was intact and it was quite a fun game.
As for rollerball itself, there has been a full game played. The stunt team on the original movie thought they'd give it a go before the sets were dismantled, and by all accounts had a high old time.
Not the Nine O'Clock News
Yeah, I came in to crack that joke, modifying the distance to three feet.
The original was about Idi Amin surviving an assassination attempt, by the way.
A Thea Gilmore fan?
Bonus points awarded for this article, then.
"It basically takes away all Paypals profits."
Don't worry, PayPal will still be able to lock people's accounts without reason and keep all the money. That's most of their profit margin preserved.
"Why exactly is Christian Democratic an oxymoron?"
Because Christianity is submitting to God's rule, whereas democracy is rule by Man.
No NSFW tag?
Because the gigantic picture of Virtual Valerie warrants one, IMHO.
Re: Just to point out ...your blatant false comparison
When Amazon pulled 1984 from people's Kindles, it was because the seller those people had bought it from had no legal right to sell it. That essentially made it confiscation of stolen goods and/or destruction of illegally produced copies of copyrighted material. VLC was never illegally sold on the App Store, Apple just decided they didn't want people to be able to buy it any more - probably because they released their own app that does the same thing.
"Have to say I can't wait until part 2."
Yes, perhaps part 2 will explain how Apple got all of that into one icon.
"Does the name "Sean Connery" mean anything to you?"
No, but the name Jamesh Bond does!
"Its spelt surely not shurely."
Unless you are riffing on Private Eye, where "shurely some mistake?" is one of their catchphrases.
By the way, thanks for remembering to include the ironic spelling mistake that is obligatory in any grammar-Nazism post. (It's spelt "it's", not "its".
"where are all the games for the PS VITA?"
Listed at the bottom of page 2, as you'd know if you'd read the article before loading up Instant Gratification (6-Year-Old Edition).
"If all you do is pew pew pew on your screen, your budget thing is OK."
Yes, and as this is a discussion of high-end cards for gaming then "the budget thing" is a perfectly valid subject of comparison. Nobody's denying that top quality CAD/art monitors are better and necessarily cost more than a low priced gaming monitor, but your design work is wholly irrelevant to the discussion in hand and bringing it up only makes you look like a snob.
"£600 for a 2560x1440 monitor"
You're talking rubbish if you think a 2560x1440 monitor will cost £600. Yes, you will pay through the eyes for a Dell, but I have a perfectly acceptable Hazro 27" plugged into my PC running at 2560x1440 that cost me under £300 brand new.
"or get delayed long enough for Apple to copy its innovations"
... then claim they did it first and file a patent infringement suit.
"I read it as £10k fine + full refunds"
Full refunds to anyone who complains. Anyone who doesn't go through the complaints process will not get a refund - which many won't, as these things can be somewhat tortuous and not worth the effort for the sake of £2.
"Alien Breed? That was a top-down down shooter."
Very good, Sparky. Alien Breed 3D, on the other hand, was not.
Aerodynamic properties: dead vs live cat?
I don't know whether a live cat would be less or more aerodynamic than a dead one, but at least there should be no difficulties in landing it safely.
"And what have you composed that I have heard?"
If he can't use an alias on the internet without risking discovery, why do you think he can name specific works he has composed that will identify exactly who he is to anyone reading?
".wtf would be more like it!"
Sorry, but as a Game of Thrones fan I have already claimed .wtf as the designator for websites hosted in Winterfell and the North. You can have one if you like ... but pay the gold price, not the iron price.
Re: lol ..
When Freddie Starr was done, there was no F in hamster either.
No, you don't HAVE to get the Android
But as the Galaxy S2 was more of a phone than the iPhone 4S and the S3 is better than the S2 in every way, I think that if I were faced with a choice between an iPhone and an S3, I would go for the massively superior product at the same price.
"Samsung is on attempt number 6 and they still failed"
Exactly. Samsung have put out their third revision of the most popular smartphone on the market and are still somehow failing - I say "somehow" because I don't know how they are failing. So they should switch to Windows Phone, which is now on attempt number 7 and still most definitely failing to acquire a market share.
Troll Score: 0/10. Or should that be 0 out of 7?
"... nobody at the factory considered a 12" phone unusual"
Do I not recall Samsung releasing one of their early tablets with a phone built into it?
(Paris ... though admittedly, more because of the question mark than the unusual 12 inches.)
"why do people fall for this DRM infected crap "
Do you even know what DRM is? Diablo III is an online game, of course you can't play it without an internet connection or when the servers are down. I personally wish it didn't require online play, before you reach for the downvote button, but the "DRM servers" you're ranting about don't exist.
Oh, and while you're failing so hard: being banned from the Blizzard forums does not prevent you playing their games. That's EA/Origin.
Re: "iPhones cause herpes!"
Ridiculous unsubstantiated claims of that ilk are precisely the kind of shoddy, prejudiced alarmist reporting that gives The Register a bad name. Everyone knows you can't get herpes from an iPhone. It's syphilis.
"... it was only on Tuesday that I had issues"
Exactly. The login issues only existed on Tuesday, as Lucy Orr would know had she not - as usual - written her review based on a single gameplay session. The fix was deployed within 24 hours of launch.
"Why is it an offence to separate a fool and his money?"
Yeah - and while we're at it, why is it a crime to steal a car if it's left unlocked, or to burgle someone's house if they leave a window open when they go on holiday?
Scammers and thieves don't stop being criminals just because the mark is a fool.
"Blizzard might go tits up!"
Blizzard earn a billion dollars a year from World of Warcraft subscriptions. They have already sold ten million copies of Diablo III from pre-orders. They're going nowhere.
Also, they were bought by Activision before they became so huge.
Re: "Apple, who make Macs"
Does that mean the 17" MacBook Pro is a Big Mac?
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