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* Posts by Jedit

860 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

Humax YouView DTR-T1000 IPTV Freeview PVR review

Jedit
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Headmaster

"exceeds the price of a decent Freesat HD recorder "

Freesat requires the installation of a dish, which costs money on top of the recorder. On top of which, not everyone can install a Freesat dish - a lot of renters, for example, and people who live in listed buildings. I shan't comment on the functionality, but the cash is less of an issue than you make out.

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Smutty books strip Harry Potter of Amazon crown

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Trollface

Oh, the humanity!

Stephenie Meyer must be squirming. She's just become the first bestselling author in history to be outsold by her own fanfic.

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The Dragon 32 is 30

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Boffin

Any port in a storm?

I find it interesting that the Dragon 32 used the C64's 9-pin joystick connector for its power supply, and 6-pin circular connectors like those of the C64's PSU for its joysticks.

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More reports that Apple plans iPhone 5 September surprise

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Angel

"I can just feel the heat of your jealousy at seeing others with an iPad"

No, that's just your iPad battery overheating.

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Jackson’s Hobbit becomes a trilogy

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Holmes

"You saying you don't think it's a bad word?...."

Whether he is or not, he's right. Bowdlerising history in the name of political correctness is both obscene and stupid. Those who do not recall history are condemned to repeat it.

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Twitter airport bomb joke conviction binned in common-sense WIN

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"I would suggest you try to avoid the same mistake."

The difference between "not funny" and criminal? I can tell what that is. "Not funny" is joking about blowing up an airport. "Criminal" is mocking and deriding a disabled child because of their disability, then doing it again when people dare to complain about it.

I appreciate that you're trying to be fair and don't want speech to be unduly restricted - in fact I agree with you wholeheartedly on that - but there are still things that cannot and should not be condoned. Boyle does them.

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Jedit
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Re: Frankie Boyle...

A great victory for comedy would be Frankie Boyle being jailed for hate speech after his comments on the disabled. He's not funny, he's a mean-minded and nasty man who attacks literally anyone who can't fight back.

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BOFH: Shove your project managementry up your mailbox!

Jedit
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Devil

Re: "Simon"?

Indeed, and at one point he had a junior assistant whose initials were PFY.

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Jedit
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Big Brother

"Simon"?

C'mon, we all know it's Charlie Stross under a pen name. We have the evidence.

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Apple CEO: Frothing fanboi iPhone 5 hype screwed our sales

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Stop

"You're saying Apple quickly responded to an serious problem and that's a bad thing?"

No, he's deriding Metavisor's claim that Apple don't release software until the serious problems are all fixed. There obviously was some kind of serious problem in iOS 5.0 because as you say, Apple responded to it, so that claim is easily falsified.

By the way, one of the big selling points of Android devices over iOS is that if you don't like your version of the OS, you can install a different one without voiding your warranty. If you don't want to go into such technical depth then that's OK - I haven't done it myself - but the option is there if you want it.

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Spy Hunter

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Headmaster

Re: which was the first?

River Raid predated Spy Hunter, and both were preceded by Exidy's Death Race - though that wasn't strictly the same game.

The best Spy Hunter clone I encountered was a C64 game called Burnin' Rubber (not to be confused with the 1990 OutRun clone of the same name). It basically took the same style of game but swapped the theme for Death Race 2000.

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Blizzard faces court battle for 'misleading Diablo III fans'

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FAIL

"Do you expect blizzard to manufacture TWO ENTIRE VERSIONS of the game"

Nope. I just expect to be able to play by myself offline, or online with other players. You know, like in Diablo II. And Diablo. And Starcraft. And virtually every game with online multiplayer that has ever been published.

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Brooks, Coulson to be CHARGED over phone-hacking

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FAIL

Re: Stop Press - Reg headline to CONTAIN random capitalized WORDS for no GOOD reason

There was plenty of reason for capitalisation, and the word so altered wasn't random. El Reg has run a number of stories about Brooks, Coulson et al testifying about phone hacking. Emphasising that they are now being charged rather than this being a continuation of the Leveson Inquiry lets the reader know that this is a new story rather than a recycling of old news. And as Reg headlines are already enlarged and emboldened and do not contain italics or underlining, the only tool they have for emphasis is capitalisation.

But thanks for demonstrating your profound ignorance of journalistic techniques, sentence construction and the story in question with a single dismissive statement.

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Samsung flogs 10 million Galaxy S IIIs in 7 weeks

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Coat

"Universally agreed to be shite, and in desperate need of a complete rewrite"

Well, a website app can only ever be as good as the content...

(Sorry, Vulture hacks, but that one was just too good to pass up. IGMC)

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LG readies bonkers big telly for sale

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FAIL

"RTFA"

He didn't even need to be able to read. The placard across the top of the TV that has a huge and obvious "3D" logo on it.

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Gambling site's 'no strings attached' offer had strings attached

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Trollface

Re: I'm confused!

It should be mentioned that the total accumulates. If you win with your single free £10 bet, you can place bets wherever you like with the proceeds. So, start placing bets on both sides of wagers with only two possible results. This will lead to a slow decline, but it only has to be done once or twice to get up to a total of £30 in wagers placed. Once you've done that, make your balance back up to £30 then withdraw the lot.

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Google Nexus 7 Android tablet

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Meh

"the Nexus survived 32cm fall onto a wooden floor"

The reviewer's table is only 13 inches tall?

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Haggis pakora v huevos rancheros

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Pint

""Premium haggis in a tin" seems like the very definition of an oxymoron."

Whut wid ye ken aboot it, ye Southron jessie? Ye widnae last five seconds in the Highlands. Ye'd be found deid, yir heart stopped and yir hair turned white as snow, after ye hear the terrifyin' wail of the haggis as it skirls across the moors!

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'Maybe we'll just call them 'Surface-like devices'

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Pirate

Re: I misread it again

Boson! Make this scurvy swab walk the plank!

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Trekkie pays £45,000 for rusty shuttle

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Holmes

"They already do that"

Allow me to clarify. I know that fakes are already displayed in some museums and cities, for the purpose of preserving the original. However, the museums and cities in question do have the original. What the AC is advocating is making fake exhibits *instead* of acquiring originals, because "it's cheaper and it's just the same, innit?"

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Jedit
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FAIL

"Would be cheaper to make a replica from new."

Hey, what a great idea! Museums don't need to display actual historical objects - they can just make fakes and display those instead, because it's so much cheaper! While they're at it, they can pull down that tatty old Sphinx and put up a new one with a nose. Provenance? Who gives a damn?

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BOFH: The back-up backdown smackdown

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Boffin

"attempting the same solutions as the BOFH would most likely result in a P45 "

A good BOFH makes himself indispensable to the running of the system. Then, not only can management not fire you no matter what you do, they spend every day praying to the deity of choice for your long life and continued good health.

Just don't teach your subordinates too much before your retirement date is confirmed. They may try for promotion the old fashioned way.

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Samsung fails to stall Galaxy Nexus sales ban

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Flame

"I could not think of a better advertisement"

A better advertisement it may be, Tanya, but that is of no use whatsoever when you cannot legally sell the product being advertised. It doesn't matter if everyone knows Apple are crooked, if they're the only game in town.

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Full Tilt Poker boss arrested over $430m 'Ponzi scheme'

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Headmaster

"You'll be claiming that they don't ban big winners next"

Casinos ban people who win big - and regularly - at games played against the house because the odds in such games are loaded in favour of the house. Anyone who wins them regularly is probably shaving the odds somehow, the most common method being card counting in blackjack.

However, casinos never ban people who win big at poker because it's not their money being won, and because having a famous poker player at your tables attracts gamblers through the door. Moreover, casinos make their money from poker through the rake, which is basically a small percentage tax on each hand. The bigger the hands, the bigger the rake - so keeping those big winners who play high stakes poker at the table is more profitable.

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Samsung asks for US Galaxy Nexus ban to be lifted pending appeal

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Re: Outstripped?

It means that by the time it is legal to sell the Nexus in the US, it will no longer be a competitor to the iPhone. In other words, Apple have managed to completely eliminate a rival product from the market without any need to prove that it was in reality infringing their patents, and in the worst case scenario will have to pay Samsung less than $100m compensation for the loss of perhaps $400m in raw sales plus loss of market share, visibility and reputation. The bond should have been $1 billion; if it had been, you can bet Apple would have withdrawn either the suit or the request for an injunction on sales.

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Ministers consult public on 'opt in for smut' plans

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"Opt in for smut" is already here

I already have an "opt in for smut" function built into my browser. If I do not want to view smut on the internet, all I have to do is not click on smut links.

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Nigerian scams are hyper-efficient idiot finders

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Trollface

"They should replace 'Nigeria' with 'Cupertino' to see their revenues shoot up"

Not really accurate. Yes, if you respond to Apple advertising you are likely to get fleeced of all your money by a gang of international criminals. However, unlike with Nigerian scams you do at least get the iProduct you paid for, and Apple are patent trolls rather than thieves and fraudsters (YMMV).

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LCD TV shipments slip for FIRST TIME EVER

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FAIL

"Sorry, but how much 4:3 content is there, these days?"

Erm ... almost every TV show released before 1993?

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Speedball 2 Brutal Deluxe

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Terminator

Rollerball

It's worth noting that there was an unlicensed rollerball game for the Amiga, called Killerball. It didn't have the bikers or catchers, but the style was intact and it was quite a fun game.

As for rollerball itself, there has been a full game played. The stunt team on the original movie thought they'd give it a go before the sets were dismantled, and by all accounts had a high old time.

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Ludicrously lucky teen survives spear through brain

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Not the Nine O'Clock News

Yeah, I came in to crack that joke, modifying the distance to three feet.

The original was about Idi Amin surviving an assassination attempt, by the way.

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Songkick Concerts

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A Thea Gilmore fan?

Bonus points awarded for this article, then.

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Gov mulls ban on wallet-draining charges for card payments

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Holmes

"It basically takes away all Paypals profits."

Don't worry, PayPal will still be able to lock people's accounts without reason and keep all the money. That's most of their profit margin preserved.

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R18+ games still not over the line in Oz

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Headmaster

"Why exactly is Christian Democratic an oxymoron?"

Because Christianity is submitting to God's rule, whereas democracy is rule by Man.

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Retina Display detachment

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Megaphone

No NSFW tag?

Because the gigantic picture of Virtual Valerie warrants one, IMHO.

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'Google released a dairy product'. What, it's cheesy?

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Re: Just to point out ...your blatant false comparison

When Amazon pulled 1984 from people's Kindles, it was because the seller those people had bought it from had no legal right to sell it. That essentially made it confiscation of stolen goods and/or destruction of illegally produced copies of copyrighted material. VLC was never illegally sold on the App Store, Apple just decided they didn't want people to be able to buy it any more - probably because they released their own app that does the same thing.

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Apple adds gay and lesbian icons to iOS 6 messaging

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Angel

"Have to say I can't wait until part 2."

Yes, perhaps part 2 will explain how Apple got all of that into one icon.

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Another investor pulls out of Habbo Hotel after grooming claims

Jedit
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Black Helicopters

"Does the name "Sean Connery" mean anything to you?"

No, but the name Jamesh Bond does!

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Jedit
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Headmaster

"Its spelt surely not shurely."

Unless you are riffing on Private Eye, where "shurely some mistake?" is one of their catchphrases.

By the way, thanks for remembering to include the ironic spelling mistake that is obligatory in any grammar-Nazism post. (It's spelt "it's", not "its".

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E3 2012: Prepare to have your buttons pushed

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FAIL

"where are all the games for the PS VITA?"

Listed at the bottom of page 2, as you'd know if you'd read the article before loading up Instant Gratification (6-Year-Old Edition).

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AMD and Nvidia extreme GPUs workout

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"If all you do is pew pew pew on your screen, your budget thing is OK."

Yes, and as this is a discussion of high-end cards for gaming then "the budget thing" is a perfectly valid subject of comparison. Nobody's denying that top quality CAD/art monitors are better and necessarily cost more than a low priced gaming monitor, but your design work is wholly irrelevant to the discussion in hand and bringing it up only makes you look like a snob.

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Jedit
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Stop

"£600 for a 2560x1440 monitor"

You're talking rubbish if you think a 2560x1440 monitor will cost £600. Yes, you will pay through the eyes for a Dell, but I have a perfectly acceptable Hazro 27" plugged into my PC running at 2560x1440 that cost me under £300 brand new.

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Samsung 'to launch Galaxy S III in US', snubs Apple's ban bid

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Devil

"or get delayed long enough for Apple to copy its innovations"

... then claim they did it first and file a patent infringement suit.

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Watchdog relieves iPhone 5 scammers of £10k

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"I read it as £10k fine + full refunds"

Full refunds to anyone who complains. Anyone who doesn't go through the complaints process will not get a refund - which many won't, as these things can be somewhat tortuous and not worth the effort for the sake of £2.

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Marathon

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FAIL

"Alien Breed? That was a top-down down shooter."

Very good, Sparky. Alien Breed 3D, on the other hand, was not.

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Flying Dutchman creates dead cat quadcopter

Jedit
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Headmaster

Aerodynamic properties: dead vs live cat?

I don't know whether a live cat would be less or more aerodynamic than a dead one, but at least there should be no difficulties in landing it safely.

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UK music-rights collection: Where does all the money go?

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FAIL

"And what have you composed that I have heard?"

If he can't use an alias on the internet without risking discovery, why do you think he can name specific works he has composed that will identify exactly who he is to anyone reading?

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Firm applies for .sucks domain

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Pirate

".wtf would be more like it!"

Sorry, but as a Game of Thrones fan I have already claimed .wtf as the designator for websites hosted in Winterfell and the North. You can have one if you like ... but pay the gold price, not the iron price.

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Sony PlayStation 4 will not be download only

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Coat

Re: lol ..

When Freddie Starr was done, there was no F in hamster either.

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Galaxy S III pay-monthly tariffs compared

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No, you don't HAVE to get the Android

But as the Galaxy S2 was more of a phone than the iPhone 4S and the S3 is better than the S2 in every way, I think that if I were faced with a choice between an iPhone and an S3, I would go for the massively superior product at the same price.

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Samsung Galaxy S III

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FAIL

"Samsung is on attempt number 6 and they still failed"

Exactly. Samsung have put out their third revision of the most popular smartphone on the market and are still somehow failing - I say "somehow" because I don't know how they are failing. So they should switch to Windows Phone, which is now on attempt number 7 and still most definitely failing to acquire a market share.

Troll Score: 0/10. Or should that be 0 out of 7?

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