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* Posts by Jedit

850 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

Populous

Jedit
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Holmes

"I've recently been introduced to Catan, and it's awesomely good fun"

Don't worry, you've only just been introduced to it. SoC is a great gateway game, but it does pall realtively quickly once you realise the game is 70% luck after the initial setup. You'll soon want to move on. If you want something more thoughtful go for Caylus, but if you prefer the light style give Dominion a go.

I'm also failing to see what anyone finds wrong in playing strategic games with heavy elements of planning and negotiation. You can get good jobs with those skills.

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Jedit
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Facepalm

"the inspiration for Black and White"

Yes, I expect that Peter Molyneux was a heavy influence on Black and White creator Peter Molyneux.

I'm also failing to see the connection between Populous and Settlers of Catan, as they have no mechanics in common. The only link is the goal of "start with a village and make more", which is so generic as to be no link at all.

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Scientists: 'Castration is the key to a longer life'

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Headmaster

Re: "Removing the testicles ... will in most cases also make you unable to perform"

Don't compare apples and oranges. Vasectomy is no different to complete removal of the testes so far as hormone production goes, but it doesn't kill your libido or render you incapable. Chemical castration differs in that it alters your biochemistry directly, replacing the testosterone that is already present.

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Jedit
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FAIL

"rapists - now there's a deserving test group."

Except by the time you are a rapist you're already a fully functioning male, and loss of your testicles will only prevent you reproducing. As a guy I knew once said: "You've got meat and two veg. Take away the sprouts and you've still got a meal."

Go back to reading the Daily Mail.

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Ig Nobels 2012: Physics of ponytails, chimp arse-cognition and more

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Joke

"Maybe there should be an app for that instead of face recognition!"

The iOS version only works with the forward facing camera?

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iPhone queue ‘superficial and pretentious’ says queuing fangirl

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Devil

"But there is a chance media will interview you "

Well, I suppose everyone knowing you're an idiot will change your life, but perhaps not in the way you might have hoped.

(Note: this sentiment applies to anyone who queues for days for anything, not just to iPhone buyers.)

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Fans rap Apple's 'crap' Map app

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Headmaster

"Apple are sitting on a gigantic cash pile, why haven't they spent some?"

Because if they did, they wouldn't be sitting on as gigantic a cash pile. Corporations don't look at their money and wonder how they can use it; they look at it and wonder how they can get more. Their aim is to maximise profit, and the less money that flows out the easier this becomes.

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Sky ruled OK to hold broadcast licence without Murdoch at helm

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Boffin

"Does the EPG have to stop?"

Sky's EPG would stop, but there's nothing stopping the other channels using someone else's (e.g. Virgin Media), is there?

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iPhone 5 sleuth work points to $199 component costs

Jedit
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"I thought people didn't buy Apple for ideological reasons"

This is broadly speaking true. On the other hand, one of the more commonly cited ideologies for not buying Apple is because they hugely overprice their products to exploit fashion victims, or words to that effect.

Also, I suspect the scenario which would play out in many other cases would run something like this:

"Apple are the 21st century equivalent of Hitler!"

<passes sign indicating £100 price cut on all iPads>

"Sieg heil! Sieg heil!"

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Jedit
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Facepalm

"any large-scale product that isn't making about 50% markup is probably going to be short-lived."

Yes, I remember the demise of the Kindle well. Selling the base unit at cost price really hampered Amazon, preventing them from doing R&D and thus killing off any possibility of touchscreen versions and colour versions.

Oh, wait - that didn't actually happen, did it?

It's called a loss leader. Amazon make their money from the Kindle by taking a cut of the book sales, just as Apple take their cut from the App Store. I wouldn't expect Apple to sell the iPad or iPhone as a loss leader, but they could definitely sell it for significantly less and still rake in cash hand over fist. It wouldn't be a bad move either - if they cut the price of the iPad by, say, £100 across all lines they'd lock up the tablet market completely.

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Work for beer, Neil Gaiman's wife tells musicians

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FAIL

"please tell us all how much of $1.2 million she'd be left with once all the costs are paid"

About $190,000, according to Amanda Palmer. Is she somebody in the music industry that you know who she is?

Of course, Palmer didn't include the gate money from the tour in her estimate, which should pay for all tour costs - that's how it works. So that $190k is by her own admission clear profit for her.

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FAIL

"Absolute nonsense. It's the other way around"

Janis Ian, who has been recording for over 40 years and hence knows more about it than you, has stated that she's never received a royalty statement from a record company that didn't say she owed them money and that she makes all her income from touring.

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Jedit
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Flame

"She's also more likely well know than Neil Gaiman"

No, she's not. Gaiman has written for Doctor Who and several of his own books have been adapted for the screen; his global audience numbers in the millions.

Amanda Palmer should be ashamed. Compare what she's done to what Thea Gilmore did when someone in her £52-a-year subscription fanclub commented that she wasn't delivering any of what she'd promised apart from the private forum and the monthly exclusive song. Thea agreed, apologised, ditched subscription fees until she figured out how to get it all working again, and has carried on giving existing members forum access and the monthly song for free in the interim. I can't imagine that Palmer isn't in a position to make this comparison, either, as Neil Gaiman is one of Thea's fanclub members.

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Apple iPhone 5 hands-on review

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Black Helicopters

"a lot of people have noticed that a number of Samsung's phones look like iPhones"

When Samsung were ordered to show Apple a number of their upcoming phone designs, I joked that Apple would be unable to design their new phones without knowing what Samsung were going to copy from them. Now we have the iPhone 5, which apart from scale and the round home button is scarcely distinguishable from a Galaxy S3 - which is one of the phone designs Apple got to see.

Me, I'm saying nothing.

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Australian tabloid decides to fight trolls ... with trolls

Jedit
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Devil

"the best way to kill trolls is to stop feeding them!"

Actually, the *best* way to kill trolls involves several sheets of coarse sandpaper, a flensing knife, a bottle of Dave's Insanity Sauce and several large rats. However, in this civilised era we frown upon such behaviour - chiefly as it's hard to get the stains out of the carpet - and so we go for the second best option.

Still, those were the days. <sighs nostalgically>

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Scientists provide a measure of uncertainty

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Thumb Up

"No, but I know exactly where I am!"

On a related note:

How many quantum physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he doesn't know which way to turn it.

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Health minister warns ISPs: Block suicide websites or face regulation

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Headmaster

"Strange, but, it seems, true."

And entirely misleading. As you say, the paracetamol purchase limit didn't stop premeditated suicides from shopping around, so the suicides it did prevent would be those committed on impulse with the easiest tool to hand. No doubt a few potential suicides did back out because they didn't like the thought of cutting themselves or whatever, but most of the people who would have committed suicide by overdose just went and killed themselves by another means.

On top of which, paracetamol overdoses are nowhere near as reliable as you think, and a lot of such overdoses are not serious suicide attempts. I can only speculate how many mentally disturbed people have died as a result of the purchase limit forcing them to try more lethal methods.

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Dredd movie review

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FAIL

"it's just an attempt at doing TRR with a splash of cashing in on a comic book"

Except the two films were in production simultaneously. In fact, the director of The Raid is on record as saying that he saw the script for Dredd during filming his own movie and immediately thought that he'd have to get his own movie out first to avoid being on the other end of the comparison.

As for "cashing in on a comic book", Dredd doesn't have the brand recognition to make any kind of cash-in work. With the exception of Batman, Superman and Spider-Man virtually no comic character does.

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Amazon pitches cheap new Kindles for Blighty

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"And I don't mind paying a little extra for it."

Unless you buy your Nexus 7 from Amazon, where they're charging £60 more for it so no naughty comparison shopper accidentally buys one instead of a Kindle Fire.

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3,000 Guild Wars 2 gamers banned for flogging stolen loot

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FAIL

"Guild Wars is a lifestyle choice generally for those that don't get out much"

Except, of course, Guild Wars and its sequel are both best known for being designed for the casual social gamer. They have no subscription fee to make players feel pressured into maximising their online time, the content is set up so that you still make progress even if you never play for more than 20 minutes at a time and gear is so readily available that the only reason to grind is for vanity items. And if you'd bothered to read the headline of the article you'd see that cheaters don't prosper - they get banned forever.

If ignorance is bliss, then I'm amazed you were even able to make your troll post - I imagine it's hard to type when you're having orgasms 24 hours a day.

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Ho ho ho! Apple's Samsung ban bid pushed back to Christmas

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Black Helicopters

"Google has applied for a patent in 2009 but not been granted so far."

That's amazing. Apple seem to be granted patents for every random obvious thing they come up with and there's not a moment's delay, but Google come up with a functional design and put it into use and it takes three years. Rather appropriate that Ghostbusters was on Antique Code Show today, as this quote springs to mind:

"Do you know how much a patent clerk earns?"

Seems to me that Apple do, and they're happy to generously supplement that wage as the need arises.

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Ten movies inspired by video games

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Facepalm

"I kinda liked Hitman..."

Ah, Hitman - the movie with the missing S in the title. Clearly you have forgotten such plotting gems as the titular character getting into a four-way Mexican standoff with three other Hitmen ... who are all allied with each other and had attacked him as a group. The only redeeming feature that movie had was frontal nudity from Olga Kurylenko (which ironically made it better than the same year's Bond movie).

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Apple: I love to hate, and hate to love thee

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Meh

Counterpoint

I'll make no secret of it that I despise Apple for the vile techniques they use in their desperate attempt to gain a monopoly on handheld computing. Their plan to have devices that do everything not quite as well as the specialist devices has failed now that other manufacturers are capable of producing devices that do everything just as well, and being unable to keep up in innovation they have resorted to stopping their rivals joining the race at all.

Unlike you, Matt, I have not bought into Apple. I have considered an iPad, I won't deny, but ultimately Apple's business practices are too revolting for me to stomach. They have enough money to behave the way they do; they do not, therefore, need mine. Should they start playing nice, I might change my mind. But they won't.

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Lawyers: We'll pillory porn pirates who don't pay up

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Coat

" Think the last one is a documentary about the Bundesbank"

From the makers of that famous documentary about the life of the 20th Century's greatest scientific mind, "Zwei Madchen, Einstein".

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Apple, Samsung blast away in patent case closing arguments

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Headmaster

"didn't the iPhone come with one thing that none of the others didn't have - an app store?"

If none of the others didn't have an app store, then they all did. But I know what you mean.

Still, the only important thing the iPhone came with that the others did not have was a guy telling people it was cool and exciting. All the other manufacturers went with a guy telling people their phones were good.

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Apple accuses Samsung of abusing its 3G power

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Joke

Re: I'm beginning to like the BOFH solution

Why settle for half measures? Let's round up everyone who bought a Samsung phone because it looked like an iPhone and shoot them. I think Samsung would settle for a 0.1% loss in future revenue to have the matter settled once and for all.

Then, in the interests of fairness, we can do the same thing to everyone who bought an iPhone because it looked like an iPhone. Apple have plenty of cash, they can stand to lose 75% of their customers.

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Amazon UK to offer collection service at corner shops

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FAIL

"DPD are one of the best couriers"

DPD are the worst courier. Sure, they tell you when they are going to arrive - but only to within a two hour window, so you still have to take a half-day off work to be there. That's assuming they actually show up, of course; I've had them deliver outside the window several times.

On top of which, if you miss the delivery their depots - or my local one, at least - are only open in normal business hours plus two hours on Saturday morning. My local depot is also out of the way on an industrial estate that isn't served by buses at the weekend, so as a non-driver I basically can't get a DPD parcel delivered to my home without burning leave - I have to get them sent to my office. The last time I did that, they claimed to have been by to deliver it when I know for a fact they hadn't. If they had, they would have noticed that the reception desk is manned full time and has CCTV and not tried to tell such an obvious lie.

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Apple axes loyal store staff in Essex, Milton Keynes

Jedit
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Boffin

Do Apple Stores need permanent full time staff?

One would think they would only need a full complement of full time staff to cover launch day queues. A reduced number of staff could cover regular needs.

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Chinese man blows off hands, builds new pair

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Alien

"Wasn't there a Bond villain with attachments for that?"

in "Flesh Gordon Meets The Cosmic Cheerleaders", the evil Emperor Wang most specifically had an attachment for that. It wasn't very normal, though.

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Jedit
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Terminator

"Perhaps he's good at oral work..."

Apologies for injecting serious comment into this part of the discussion, but one of Britain's paralympic archers has no arms and shoots with his feet. I've also seen a video of another disabled archer performing bow maintenance with his teeth. People can be very ingenious when they have to be.

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Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver Universal Remote Control review

Jedit
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Alien

"trying to tutor family members in the ways of Sonic Screwdriver television control"

Somehow, I think the problem of of trying to explain the use of this device to friends, partners and children is unlikely to arise for anyone who would drop sixty notes on it.

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Asus Transformer Pad Infinity 64GB Android tablet review

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Headmaster

"at around 100 Quid more"

Actually it's £40 more. 64GB iPad is £559, 64GB Infinity is £599. So £40 for keyboard, battery dock and the capacity to boost it up to - what, 160GB of storage?

All that said, I do agree with you that pricing it above the iPad is not the best move.

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Saudi royals seek ban on .virgin, .sex, .catholic, .wtf and 159 MORE

Jedit
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Mushroom

"Many societies ... consider homosexuality to be contrary to their culture [or] morality"

Well, that's funny - my society considers the oppression of women to be contrary to its culture and morality. It's a big world, and if you don't want to live in it then you don't have to. Just don't tell US how to live our lives.

I would also be looking askance at whichever member of that commission is automatically associating the word "baby" with pornography. I think it says a lot more about him than it does about "the decadent West".

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Blinkbox to sell Game of Thrones series 2 by stream

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Headmaster

Re: Looks like HBO didn't learn their lesson from Season One

Do you think HBO's accountants are stupid? If there was more money to be made from releasing box sets immediately after airing the show than from selling the show to client broadcasters in other territories, then that is what HBO would do. Since there isn't, they do not.

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Oooh-la-la! 'iPhone 5' bares all, strokes tiny nano-SIM in pics

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FAIL

"Can you jailbreak an iphone with a pair of scissors?"

No, but you can jailbreak it with the appropriate tool then put in a cut-down SIM from a network that is not an Apple client. My apologies if this blatantly obvious process was not explained in sufficiently blinding detail.

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Jedit
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Headmaster

"Makes perfect sense in an Apple-world I'm sure."

Of course it does. You can make a micro-SIM by cutting down a regular SIM. This allows people to jailbreak iPhones and use them with networks who aren't paying Apple for the privilege of being able to flog their products. If you can't make a nano-SIM in the same way, then suddenly all those networks are cut off from upgrading Apple customers unless they start buying in nano-SIMs that are only used in a phone sold by their rivals but not by them. Exclusivity of iPhones is thus enhanced.

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Snap suggests Apple out to 'screw' hardware hackers

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Joke

"£17 is considerably less than £61"

You're just jealous because he can afford a genuine Apple repair while you have to make do with a cheap one that isn't half so stylish and was only copying Apple anyway.

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Samsung lengthens Note phone-cum-tablet to 10 inches

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Pint

This has its ups and downs

On the one hand, you'd probably feel pretty silly holding a full-sized tablet to your head to make a phone call. On the other, you now have a large plastic rectangle covering your face so nobody will know who you are.

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Anonymous hunts down Voldemort for hacking hungry kids' charity

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Stop

"deciding who gets to be anonymous"

They don't. Anyone can claim to be Anonymous, and frequently does. The idiot who hacked the website didn't understand this, and so hacked the website to try and "get an in". This caused another group of Anonymous to expose him because he was making them all look bad by associating himself with them.

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Apple demands Samsung flogged for 'unethical' court doc leak

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FAIL

"All of us here and certainly not you, respectively."

So we're all children? I beg to differ.

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Humax YouView DTR-T1000 IPTV Freeview PVR review

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Headmaster

"exceeds the price of a decent Freesat HD recorder "

Freesat requires the installation of a dish, which costs money on top of the recorder. On top of which, not everyone can install a Freesat dish - a lot of renters, for example, and people who live in listed buildings. I shan't comment on the functionality, but the cash is less of an issue than you make out.

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Smutty books strip Harry Potter of Amazon crown

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Trollface

Oh, the humanity!

Stephenie Meyer must be squirming. She's just become the first bestselling author in history to be outsold by her own fanfic.

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The Dragon 32 is 30

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Boffin

Any port in a storm?

I find it interesting that the Dragon 32 used the C64's 9-pin joystick connector for its power supply, and 6-pin circular connectors like those of the C64's PSU for its joysticks.

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More reports that Apple plans iPhone 5 September surprise

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Angel

"I can just feel the heat of your jealousy at seeing others with an iPad"

No, that's just your iPad battery overheating.

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Jackson’s Hobbit becomes a trilogy

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Holmes

"You saying you don't think it's a bad word?...."

Whether he is or not, he's right. Bowdlerising history in the name of political correctness is both obscene and stupid. Those who do not recall history are condemned to repeat it.

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Twitter airport bomb joke conviction binned in common-sense WIN

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"I would suggest you try to avoid the same mistake."

The difference between "not funny" and criminal? I can tell what that is. "Not funny" is joking about blowing up an airport. "Criminal" is mocking and deriding a disabled child because of their disability, then doing it again when people dare to complain about it.

I appreciate that you're trying to be fair and don't want speech to be unduly restricted - in fact I agree with you wholeheartedly on that - but there are still things that cannot and should not be condoned. Boyle does them.

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Jedit
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Thumb Down

Re: Frankie Boyle...

A great victory for comedy would be Frankie Boyle being jailed for hate speech after his comments on the disabled. He's not funny, he's a mean-minded and nasty man who attacks literally anyone who can't fight back.

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BOFH: Shove your project managementry up your mailbox!

Jedit
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Devil

Re: "Simon"?

Indeed, and at one point he had a junior assistant whose initials were PFY.

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Jedit
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Big Brother

"Simon"?

C'mon, we all know it's Charlie Stross under a pen name. We have the evidence.

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Apple CEO: Frothing fanboi iPhone 5 hype screwed our sales

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Stop

"You're saying Apple quickly responded to an serious problem and that's a bad thing?"

No, he's deriding Metavisor's claim that Apple don't release software until the serious problems are all fixed. There obviously was some kind of serious problem in iOS 5.0 because as you say, Apple responded to it, so that claim is easily falsified.

By the way, one of the big selling points of Android devices over iOS is that if you don't like your version of the OS, you can install a different one without voiding your warranty. If you don't want to go into such technical depth then that's OK - I haven't done it myself - but the option is there if you want it.

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