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* Posts by Jedit

860 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

‘Anonymous’ hacks Oz Uni’s email to protest bulk iPad buy

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Angel

"Pencil and paper? No Spam either."

Sir, I submit that you have never had someone else doodle in your margins.

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Spanish city renames square in Clash frontman's honour

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Pirate

The square?

Pfft. It should have been the casbah.

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Amazon-bashed HMV calls in administrators, seeks buyer

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Holmes

"HMV was too expensive to survive"

Honestly, there is no need for further analysis beyond this. HMV have been selling their core products - CDs, DVDs and Blu-rays - at RRP. That's rendered them uncompetitive not only with online retailers but with every other remaining physical retailer as well. I could walk into my local independent music store and get The Wall Immersion Edition for £99 if I wanted it, while 100 yards away HMV are still asking the full £120.

When a chain store isn't able to compete on price with a single-outlet small business in the same town, you know there is mismanagement at work.

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Hyperspeed travel looks wrong: Leicester students

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Headmaster

"Try again fanbois."

Normally I'd downvote your ignorance and move on, but as it's the OP's fault for not properly spelling out the scenario I'll correct him instead. The area of space through which the Kessel Run is made is dangerous because it's littered with black holes. The more powerful your ship's engines, the closer you can get to the black holes before you're unable to escape the gravity well - so being faster shortens your run as you can take a more direct line. Other, slower ships cannot take your route.

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Review: Google Nexus 4

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Alien

"They should offer us a choice though"

Samsung sort of do - the Galaxy S2 at least has an official extended battery which comes with a replacement back cover for the phone. With the extended battery the phone is about 1mm thicker. It's an option more companies should consider offering.

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Disney World slaps pay-by-bonk stalker cuffs on grown-ups

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Unhappy

"Am I the only one that finds this just a little bit disquieting?"

Disquieting but not surprising. Ex-Disneyworld staff have referred to the place as "Mauschwitz". While that's slightly hyperbolic, Uncle Walt's Magic Kingdom really is not a very pleasant place.

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Fatty French Kilogram needs a new-year diet, say Brit boffins

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"water has this nasty habit of changing it's density with pressure"

Yeah, another reason to use the metal kilo instead of water, although you could specify the pressure and temperature conditions for the water. On the other hand, water's freezing and boiling points can be altered and even the speed of light changes under certain conditions so the metre and degree Celsius really aren't any better.

We should all go back to Imperial measures. The area one man can plough with one ox in a day may be variable, but by gum, at least it's got history!

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Headmaster

"Just how do you convert a physical entity to a mathematical scribble?"

In the case of the kilogram, with remarkable ease. If a metre is fixed by the speed of light, then a kilogram is also fixed because a kilogram is the weight of a volume of pure water 0.1m x 0.1m x 0.1m. The trick is getting pure dihydrogen oxide, of course, which is why the reference kilogram is made of platinum and iridium.

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Is this possibly the worst broadband in the world?

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Headmaster

Worst broadband in the world? Well, no.

Because at 0.1Mbps, it isn't a broadband service. If memory serves, the minimum speed requirement for a service to be considered broadband is 160kbps. Services which cannot consistently attain that speed cannot legally be described as broadband.

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Bletchley Park boffins start trailblazer EDSAC computer rebuild

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Mushroom

"It's not very fucking useful."

And yet, still more useful than your post.

There are a lot of good reasons for going back to first principles, not least of which is because it gives a better understanding of those principles. Considered in that light EDSAC-2015 is not a computer, it's a map. If the writing is in big letters and it only shows main roads, that's to help you read it better.

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Minicam movie pirate gets record-breaking five years in prison

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Pirate

"This was a well-organized, professional scam committed to make a profit".

True, but for the amount of effort involved, I don't think $15000 is a good return on the MPAA's investment.

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Boffins spot planet that could support life... just 12 light years away

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Linux

Unhappiness with station environment facility staff

It's always the way, isn't it? The younger generation misunderstood by the old.

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2012: A generation-spanning year for gaming

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Headmaster

Re: Ouya is an onomatopoeic name

Even at cost a Tegra 3 chipset alone costs $25. That's a quarter of the price gone already. I've seen industry experts stating that they think it will cost at least $77 for parts per unit, leaving $22 for manufacturing costs, staff wages, warehousing and shipping. And remember, this is not a Sony-sized company that can get rock bottom prices on everything or sell as a loss leader.

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Thumb Down

Ouya is an onomatopoeic name

It will be the sound made by industry journalists when they finally realise it's vapourware.

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Dr Alex Moulton: 'An inspiration for generations of engineers'

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Unhappy

"First Patrick, now Alex...not a good week."

And to round it off the trilogy of 1960s icons, we just lost Ravi Shankar as well.

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Deputy PM: Rip up Snoop Charter, 'go back to the drawing board'

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Mushroom

"You've not needed it for the last 2000 years "

No, we didn't need a law to ensure security on the public internet (est. 1995) for the last 2000 years. By a bizarre coincidence, we also didn't need road safety laws before we invented cars.

Don't get me wrong, I agree completely that overly intrusive internet regulation must be avoided - but whack job logic like yours does not make it easier to persuade the typical member of the public who does not understand why it's a bad thing.

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Earthworm Jim

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FAIL

"Last sexual encounter: TBC"

You meant "N/A".

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2012: an epoch-defining year for home entertainment

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Alert

Silly big TVs

The article forgot to mention Panasonic's 4k2k plasma TV, the TH-152UX1W. As those familiar with Panasonic's naming structure will know, it's a 152-inch screen with all the bells and whistles. For those of you who have walls that can accommodate a TV which is 13 feet along the diagonal, it's a snip at a mere £600,000.

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WD to crash down five terabyte desktop job, mutterings suggest

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Headmaster

"What does a company gain from not commenting"

Plenty. It's a certainty that every HDD maker is developing drives above 3TB, but they'll want to have as much time as possible to do R&D and reduce the failure rate. If the rumours are true, then by admitting it WD let their rivals know the window in which they can get their drives out first. If the rumours are false, then by admitting it WD give their rivals the opportuniy to say "Well Western Digital may not be able to do it to that timescale, but we can!"

By leaving everyone in the dark about their plans until they're good and ready to announce them, rival companies are deprived of the ability to plan their schedule based on WD's.

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Children increasingly named after Apple products

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Facepalm

"And us Australians know of the honorable Richard Face"

i can top that - I genuinely know of a man named Richard Head.

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LG claims UK Ultra HD TV first

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Joke

"Downvoted for not spelling elicit correctly"

Hmmm - should I downvote you for not spelling "illicit" correctly?

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Belgian finds missus was born a MAN after 19 YEARS of marriage

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Joke

"More than enough of that judgemental bollocks"

I think we can say with certainty that post-op male-to-female transsexuals have had more than enough of bollocks, and are doing very well without.

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Stop

"Or, you know, not being a prejudiced caveman: 211.5 men, and 10.5 women."

Did you consider that some of the transsexuals may have been female-to-male?

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Sandy Island does exist - on a 1908 chart

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Devil

Re: Sandy Island = R'lyeh!!

That is not dead which can eternal lie

And with strange aeons, even this joke may die.

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Ten... PC games you may have missed

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Megaphone

Re: Star Citizen

From the guy who made Wing Commander and nothing good since, and the game has pay to win for Kickstarter backers only. Also, the last time Chris Roberts started up a studio was Digital Anvil. They announced four projects, two of which were never released and a third was released two years late with a lot of the promised features missing.

So yeah, look out for Star Citizen ... in 2016, and only if you've already bought it.

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"It's best described as a rogue-like space game."

FTL is best described as "a totally random mess". I remember a roguelike where you had something like a 1 in 100000 chance to die instantly every time you went down a level. Up that chance to 1 in 50 and you have FTL. Don't waste a penny on it.

The Binding of Isaac, on the other hand, is well worth its tiny price. It can also be infuriating sometimes when you hit a bad run for items or get some nasty room layouts, but the RNG factor is at least held to a reasonable level.

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LAST EVER British typewriter manufactured in Wales

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Go

"When will you people get bored of typing that on every bloody thread?"

We may stop when Apple patents it.

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Police mirth after plastic plod puts out call for 'PC World'

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"Fixed it"

No, it still needs correction.

"No wonder guilty people Daily Mail readers get set free believe what it prints."

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Author of '80s classic The Hobbit didn't know game was a hit

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Mushroom

"Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold."

You're a dead man, Vanni. I'm still scarred for life by that, since I discovered that you can put yourself into the chest in Bag End.

You see, if you climb into the chest then close it, the game very cleverly knows that it will be dark. Unfortunately, it being dark means you cannot see. So, despite being inside an unlocked chest, you can't get out again because you can't see it to open it. I spent far too long trying, and much if it went like this:

> THORIN, OPEN CHEST

Thorin ignores you.

> THORIN, OPEN CHEST

Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold.

> THORIN, OPEN CHEST

Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold.

In my next game, I discovered there is a very small chance that KILL THORIN will actually work.

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Samsung readies bendy smarties for 2013

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Joke

"What they need really need is to rehash/warm-over existing tech"

Aren't Samsung in enough trouble already from violating Apple's patents?

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What happened to comics for kids? Hell, what happened to COMICS?

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FAIL

"No mention of Hellblazer or Sandman?"

This is an article about comics for kids. I don't think two books that feature body horror, full frontal nudity and multiple rapes qualify somehow.

(And before you mention Watchmen and TDKR - they were mentioned only in the context of how they made it so comics weren't for kids any more.)

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Go

"Halo Jones probably needs the same thing."

If you want the whole run, The Ballad of Halo Jones is available as a single volume containing all three books.

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Headmaster

"Never did find out how that finished..."

After the end of the Great War stories there was a second run in which a 40-year-old Charley volunteers for re-enlistment in World War II. It was planned to carry on deeper into the war, but sadly Joe Colquhoun's health began to fail to the point where he couldn't keep up with the art and it was felt that nobody could replace him. As a result, the story was wrapped up when Charley is wounded in the retreat from Dunkirk and leaves the forces. The last episode ends with him starting to tell the story of his service in the First World War, after which Battle began reprinting the stories from the beginning.

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BOFH: Can't you just ... NO, I JUST CAN'T

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Boffin

Oops!

Charlie^W Simon forgot to tell a joke!

Of course, as a former IT bod I've had the reverse of this conversation many times. If you think lusers asking for things they can't have because they don't understand how complicated it is is infuriating, try talking to support staff who don't let you have things you genuinely need because they think it's far more complicated than it really is. There's a Japanese proverb: "A strategy not fully developed is the cause of grief". It's never been truer than when dealing with incompletely trained IT drones.

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UK iPad Mini FRENZY: Queues stretch SEVERAL FEET from till

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IT Angle

"Now you are slating them because there isnt a big queue"

When there are no queues for an Apple launch, it is not because Apple have stopped marketing massively overpriced, overhyped tat to fashion victims. It is because their naked greed has risen to the point that their customer base can no longer afford to buy all the tat - that, and the tat is so much tattier that even fashion victims won't buy it.

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Petition for Alan Turing on £10 note breaks 20,000 signatures

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Headmaster

"What about Montgomery ?"

What about Montgomery? My grandfather was in Africa during World War II where he served in the First Army, and it always annoyed him that people think Montgomery and the 8th Army were the only ones there. If you want to put anyone on a bank note for the Tunisian Campaign make it General Sir Harold Alexander, who commanded it.

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Mysterious galactic glow caused by Hitchhikers' Krikkit style stars

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Headmaster

Re: Come back Douglas

"The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of zombies..."

Also, as any fule kno Krikkit is not a H2G2 reference - it's a Doctor Who reference. Adams originally wrote the story for Who, later recycling it for H2G2 with Slartibartfast as the Doctor and the Starship Bistromath in place of the TARDIS. This is why the Wikkit Key plot bears a suspicious resemblance to the Key to Time arc of Who.

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iPad Mini vs Nexus 7: inch makes all the difference, says Apple CEO

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Devil

"that extra inch means you can hold the thing comfortably in one hand!"

And also counterbalances the inch that is lacking from the thing you're holding in the other!

(I'd get my coat, but apparently you're not allowed to wear one while being evil.)

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Publicity Stunt of the Week: Ten bizarre phone insurance claims

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Joke

"For "thing on a car roof" nothing beats a mate of mine"

He couldn't have been a very good mate if you left him on your car roof.

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Apple unveils iPad mini, upgrades its big brother

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"Spare a thought for those who invested in an iPad 3"

Yes, think on how they'll be able to use all existing peripherals while people who buy an iPad 4 or Mini will have to replace theirs.

The manufacturers of iCade must be spitting teeth; their device is now obsolete, and due to its nature (it's an arcade-style case with joystick) you can't use an adaptor with it.

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Amazon accused of remotely wiping punter's Kindle

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Stop

"my address was not suitable for Amazon Prime Delivery"

Your Amazon default address and your Prime delivery addresses are separate values. If you changed one without changing the other then this will cause problems.

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BBC pulls plug Ceefax ahead of analogue TV's end tonight

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Headmaster

Fear not

I'm given to understand that Finland still uses teletext, so it's not gone forever. You'll just have to move to Finland. And learn to read Finnish.

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Apple iPod Touch 5G review

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FAIL

"Recess the lens please!"

How exactly do you think they can recess a camera lens in a device less than a quarter of an inch thick?

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Craig, Connery or ... Dalton? Vote now for the ultimate James Bond

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"I'm not sure Quantum is the worst, did you see "View to a kill"? "

In the cinema when it first came out, as I have with every Bond movie since Octopussy. Say what you like about Moore being too old - he certainly was in VTAK - but however silly his movies got they still had a leavening of good nature that kept them watchable. QoS was po-faced and humourless, with Bond driven by revenge for a woman he had used and callously thrown away in the book of Casino Royale and who we'd been given no reason to like in the movie based on it.

In fact, it boggles me why people like Craig as Bond at all. Brosnan's later movies were just as silly as Moore's were, and Craig's are no darker than Dalton's. But Dalton was slated for being too dark and "not what we want from Bond", while Craig is treated like the Second Coming of Sean Connery.

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Stop

"Dalton was given crap films so I can't vote for him"

And yet you're willing to put Craig second, even though Quorum of Bollocks is the worst Bond movie and he's only made one other (see: Lazenby)?

I'll be voting for Dalton as soon as I get to a computer where the poll works because he was closest to the character as written. It's close with Connery, though, as Fleming approved of his portrayal.

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Ancient 16m-yr-old beastie caught riding on much bigger flying mount

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Coat

"Next time just don't stop to pick up a hitch-hiker!"

Don't be silly, springtails don't hitch-hike. They don't have thumbs.

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BOFH: Uninterruptible patsy supply

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Black Helicopters

"Do people still bother reading jakes comments?"

Not really, and I don't bother downvoting them either. I'm of the belief that he does it deliberately in an attempt to get as many negs (read: "as much attention") as possible. Being the most unpopular person on a message board still makes you the most of something, after all. Far be it from me to help stroke his ego.

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Theresa May gets a smile out of Gary McKinnon at last

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Headmaster

"If only we were a sovereign nation capable of making our own decisions...."

We are and we can. But when we decide to make a treaty like this one with another nation, however foolish that decision may be we must abide by it. Thankfully there exist checks and balances to ensure we can't be sold completely down the river by those decisions.

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Valve's Half-Life

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Boffin

"I'm not exactly sure why this game is in "Antique Code Show""

Because it's old now? Still being a playable game is meaningless - I've been playing Paradroid since 1985 and Wizball since 1987 and they're as good as they ever were. The great games are timeless.

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Game over for legendary 1980s games designer Mike Singleton

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Unhappy

Doomdark's Revenge

"Doom" - check. "Dark" - check. As for revenge, I guess God was jealous that Singleton was better at worldbuilding and making sandbox games.

I think I'll dig out the old Retro Gamer issues with long, in-depth articles and interviews with Mike about Lords of Midnight. There was some good stuff on his plans for the never-completed final game in the Midnight Trilogy.

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