866 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010
What's the opposite of a Turing test?
Is this really an advance in computing, or does it mark a degeneration in humans? The typical 13-year-old on the internet gets harder to distinguish from an Eliza every year.
"What do you think about X?"
"hurr lol your mom is X"
Tetris is boring
It must be, it's a game four squares.
Seriously: the soundtrack for the C64 version is brilliant. I'm going to listen to the whole damn thing when I can get onto YouTube.
Why is this a surprise to anyone?
We've always known that an iPhone is like a penis. Tell the owner their pride and joy is too small and they'll say they've never had any problems using it or had any complaints about the size, and prising it out of their hand is seemingly impossible.
"Be fair - the Americans win the World Series: every year"
Some confusion there. It's not called the World Series because it's a global competition, but because it was originally sponsored by a newspaper called the World.
On the other foot: back in the 1870s one of those Complete Books For Boys listed rules for baseball that were identical to the rules for rounders in the Complete Book for Girls of the same year.
"how many mice are needed to screw in a light bulb?"
Just two. The real question is how you get them into the light bulb.
Another Hachette job from Amazon
And points deducted from El Reg for not using that one.
Re: Selfie Mode Picture
That depends. Does Roberta have two left hands? Because if not, the person holding the phone is not the person in the selfie.
"I consider myself a light to normal user and use at last 5Gb a month."
We don't all stream porn on our phones, you know.
My heaviest data usage was during the Snooker World Championships, when I had iPlayer on all afternoon and part of the morning five days a week for two weeks. I still didn't go above 3GB for the month.
"I've heard of the love of money, but this is ridiculous."
Well, that's the thing. He may have told the ATM he loved it, but really he was only after its money.
"David Brabham, co-author of the original BBC Elite"
Fans will know that it's David Braben, not Brabham.
On a related note (though not related to Elite): RIP Sir Jack Brabham.
I think it's a mistake to compare this device to a console on the basis of size. It's a PC that has had most of the cooling systems stripped out so it will fit in a smaller case, and being sold at a higher price using the novelty factor as a lever.
Also, due to the aforementioned lack of proper cooling and the temperatures noted in the article, you should expect the components to start degrading within a few months and to burn out completely in perhaps a year if you're lucky.
"... along with some company that no-one has heard of yet ..."
I'm pretty sure that if some company that no-one has heard of yet looks like it could break into the top three, one of the existing top three will purchase it long before it gets that large.
"Player Milking System"
It's less accurate to say "Stuck? Buy a power-up, plus some levels are almost impossible" than it is to say "Some levels are almost impossible unless and until you use a power-up". I've been stuck on some levels for days, then used a power-up I got from the Wheel and mysteriously it becomes much easier on following attempts. Dreamworld levels are especially bad for this; you get nailed again and again by huge numbers of candies from one side of the balance dropping and none from the other, then you use a power-up and suddenly you stop having three straight yellows drop to tip the owl off and you start getting neutral colours instead.
"So I took your advice and guess what... it's a lie."
Shock as political party suspends evil fucker when caught.
Do you think UKIP don't screen people for their political views before putting them forward as a candidate?
"Not as overtly racist, but containing a lot of racist members "
You are aware that the latest batch of UKIP posters about "26 million Bulgamanians are coming to take your job" are essentially identical in content to the Nazis' "Wandering Jew" campaign, right?
The new Apple device: some possibilities
A pedal-powered two wheeled transport device with integrated Apple GPS: the iCycle
A tablet with attached storage container for white earbuds other Apple paraphernalia: the iLid
An old device in a slightly different form, released to placate the herd of Apple fans who are getting restless having had nothing to spend their money on for at least five minutes: the iSoma
Me, rebranded as an Apple product: iLlGetMyCoat
"The quality of a blu-ray over a normal DVD is immense."
One with a proper transfer is, at least.
However, Sony may not be losing BD money on the royalties from disc sales but rather from hardware sales. DVD players got replaced because newer ones got extra features like HD upscaling, but BD started out with everything users could need and apart from adding 3D - which is a niche market - it hasn't gone anywhere since. I've had my current BD player for almost four years now and nothing has come out since that improves on it.
Sony are also hampered a little by their own success with the PS3 and PS4. If you bought a Sony console you already have a 3D-capable BD player. I don't know if the Playstations are still being sold as loss leaders, but if they are then Sony are undercutting their own dedicated hardware.
Thank God she's not a Terminator
"12-gauge auto loader. .45 long slide with laser sighting. Phased plasma rifle in 40-twat range."
"Hey ... you can't put that in there!"
The correct term is...
... "les valseuses", in the context of goolies. Or so I'm led to believe by the movies, anyway.
"For me the only 'update' worth visiting is Pacmania"
I'm curious - what is it like, to be so wrong? The definitive Pac-Man game is Ms Pac-Man, which tweaked the original format and maze to their optimal levels. Nothing since has matched it, not even Championship Edition.
(Smiley face, because there is no Pac-Man icon.)
"Getting married at 18 and being a single parent by 23 were certainly not conventional"
You think? Both my mother and my aunt were married in their teens - my aunt in 1955 and my mother in 1972 - and my mother was a single parent at 23. Slightly outside your window, but when it's happening before and after it was certainly happening in between.
"I wanted to use it for keeping some Word documents and MP3s on"
Just DOCs and MP3s, huh? Don't worry, you won't have to suffer through any more messages like this one I remotely accessed from your system:
"Your attempt to download allthepornontheinternet.zip has failed at 99% due to insufficient disk space. Free additional disk space and try again."
I didn't actually think the Lightning connector was reversible. I grudgingly got an iPad Air last month - it's the only serious way to get tablet implementations of board games - and the Lightning connector always seems to take more than one attempt to fit. Admittedly that's slightly better than the current full USB connector that always takes exactly three attempts to fit despite only having two possible orientations, but I have as much trouble with it as I do with micro-USB on my other devices.
Maybe it's just me.
"Due to his pledge of chastity..."
"... he should surely be in a reasonably Lego-free house"
That, and shouldn't altar boys be old enough to have outgrown Legos?
"the new "Prosecute and Jail for 6 Months" button."
We already have a "Reply" button.
"well at least you will be able to paly crysis at full detail in 1080"
Not at 60 FPS, you won't.
"Sending money to Uganda" has a nice ring to it"
Given the meaning of "discussing Uganda" as popularised by Private Eye, I would not threaten someone with sending money there. They would almost certainly think I was paying for something entirely different.
Re: So is it ok to chew coca leaves now?
Please note the minor yet significant difference between "coca" and "cocoa". Getting it wrong could lead to disaster, either by chewing a narcotic leaf instead of a tasty sweet or worse, severely injuring your nose when you attempt to snort a bar of Green and Black's Maya Gold.
" using MMDDYYYY doesn't help sort at all"
Which is exactly what I meant when I said "don't do it half-assed", so I have no idea why people are downthumbing me.
"Of all the many and varied stupid things in the world"
It's not exactly stupid - most people are more inclined to say "March 14th" than "the 14th of March", after all. It just isn't hierarchical to talk about March 14th 2014.
On the other hand, when sorting objects by date it's much easier to use MMM-DD than DD-MMM. Take a look at the Register's own URLs - all today's articles are filed in subdirectory /2014/03/14/. So for IT purposes the American system of expressing dates is superior ... at least, when you don't do it half-assed.
"Did they also do that Death Cruise thing with a decoder wheel?"
Cruise For A Corpse? No, that was Delphine Games.
Re: Infocom games are cool again? Awesome!
The best part of the H2G2 game was the ziplock bag containing your very own microscopic space fleet, and the replica demolition orders for Arthur's house and the Earth which differed only in that one was written in Vogon.
Infocom gave the best extras. Planetfall had three bags of scented goo to match the food packets in the game, The Lurking Horror contained your character's student card and Leather Goddesses of Phobos had a scratch and sniff card to use at various points in the game. (OK, maybe not so much that last one, but still.)
"I can't even think of a word to do justice to its size!"
"Big". HTH, HAND.
To answer your question: mass isn't enough to create a black hole, you need density as well. If you want to know more about it, watch the 1979 Disney movie The Black Hole. You'll learn nothing about black holes, but it's a really good movie and you'll enjoy yourself a lot more than if you'd spent the same length of time poring over scientific textbooks for relatively useless trivia.
"I always practice safe editing and protect myself with WCAG"
When visiting a website I'm not familiar with I always make sure my Cat6 network cable is properly sheathed.
It's also ten metres long and I keep it strapped down so people won't trip over it. I can show you pictures, if you don't believe me.
"Those figures don't really reflect the national enthusiasms for Kickstarter"
The average donations for Australia are heavily skewed because international shipping generally has to be included in your pledge. Australia gets hit for this worse than anywhere else.
You're the first person anywhere who has had anything positive to say about TESO.
"it isn't a very good curve."
If the game was murderously hard from the off then a lot of people who only want to log on and kill sprites for 20 minutes would have been driven away. People who have been driven away don't buy expansions. So instead they put in a system where even the most casual player gets to see and kill Diablo but the hardcore gamers would still have something to aim for.
The mistake Blizzard made was in having it take three trips through the game before you reached the level cap. I agree this was a bad decision and it did drive people away simply because it got tedious. But you're blaming Blizzard because you didn't die during the tutorial, and that's silly.
As of patch 2.0 this week it's all moot anyway - monsters now scale to your level and difficulty levels can be adjusted on the fly so you can pick one that's right for you. If you play a brand new character on Expert (the second difficulty level) you should get to 60 by the time you complete Act IV for the first time, and loot rains down upon you like pigeon crap in Trafalgar Square. If you've already paid for the game, you might want to give it another go.
"I don't think I died while playing this game"
You didn't play in Inferno, then. Nobody who did would ever say Diablo III was easy when it first came out. Inferno mode stole everyone's lunch money and all the first Inferno Diablo kills were done with exploits because it was impossible without them. It's easier now, because Blizzard have learned from their mistake.
"Sinclair appear to have invented the new Mac Pro some 30 years ago!"
No, Sinclair stole the design for the new Mac Pro some 30 years ago. Don't you keep up with technological developments?
"Petitions are useless"
Very true - a hundred people with signs *are* infinitely more likely to succeed than an online petition. Of course, infinity times zero is still zero. It's depressing,
"It's a chocolate 'Yule log' and the filling is leaking out"
That's what they all say when they're in the dock!
"I've still got a stack of 5 inchers with Harvard Graphics on them"
If you've only got a 5-incher then I have bad news for you - you've definitely been superseded.
"Bring the oxygen - we have a case of severe equinox here!"
More of a revolution over some magnetic fields, if you ask me.
"Anybody who has anything to do with RBS or Natwest..."
... is insane. I closed my account there after I was able to deposit a cheque that wasn't made out to me into my own account. Gross incompetence from top to bottom.
How ironic it is that people are being prevented from seeing a vital piece of the history of Hitler's defeat by exactly the kind of banally evil bureaucrat he would have loved.
"Such a simple, obvious idea"
Moving the keyboard on a laptop from the front to the back was far from an obvious idea. To get the maximum screen size on the minimum footprint, the screen needs to be as close to the hinge as possible. If the keyboard is at the back of the case, the user's hands will block his view of the bottom of the screen. Apple got around this by raising the screen, but users paid for it with a slightly smaller display and a significantly thicker device.
You must have seen the movie, you must have read the book
Did it never occur to Schrodinger that the cat was an observer?
"Wessex, Sussex, Middlesex, Essex"
I always wondered why there was a West Saxon, a South Saxon, a Middle Saxon and an East Saxon but no North Saxon. Then I realised it was probably because they tried calling it "Nosex" and everybody left.
"they are all able to naturally feel when their blood sugar is getting too low."
Type 1 diabetics can lose sensitivity to hypoglycaemia, which is why all sufferers of the condition are advised to test regularly whether they "feel low" or not. Kindly take your magnificently ill-informed opinion about how to control a potentially lethal disease that you do not have and fuck off.
"in centuries to come the definition of "life" will turn out to be far broader "
It already includes bronies. I don't think I want it to get any broader.
- Review This is why we CAN have nice things: Samsung Galaxy Alpha
- MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
- Ex-Soviet engines fingered after Antares ROCKET launch BLAST
- Hate the BlackBerry Z10 and Passport? How about this dusty old flashback instead?
- Apple spent just ONE DOLLAR beefing up the latest iPad Air 2