Feeds

* Posts by Jedit

860 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

LG G3 fights off screen-res war rival Samsung with quad-HD cutie: In pictures

Jedit
Silver badge

Re: Selfie Mode Picture

That depends. Does Roberta have two left hands? Because if not, the person holding the phone is not the person in the selfie.

1
0

Hey, we'll do 4G for £15, says O2 (just mind how you go on the 1GB limit)

Jedit
Silver badge

"I consider myself a light to normal user and use at last 5Gb a month."

We don't all stream porn on our phones, you know.

My heaviest data usage was during the Snooker World Championships, when I had iPlayer on all afternoon and part of the morning five days a week for two weeks. I still didn't go above 3GB for the month.

0
0

Tennessee bloke cuffed for attempting to shag ATM – police

Jedit
Silver badge
Angel

"I've heard of the love of money, but this is ridiculous."

Well, that's the thing. He may have told the ATM he loved it, but really he was only after its money.

1
0

Multiplayer Elite to debut on May 30th

Jedit
Silver badge

"David Brabham, co-author of the original BBC Elite"

Fans will know that it's David Braben, not Brabham.

On a related note (though not related to Elite): RIP Sir Jack Brabham.

5
0

Gigabyte Brix Pro: You don't need no steenkin' Xbox... when you have 4K-ing amazing graphics

Jedit
Silver badge
FAIL

£550 barebones?

I think it's a mistake to compare this device to a console on the basis of size. It's a PC that has had most of the cooling systems stripped out so it will fit in a smaller case, and being sold at a higher price using the novelty factor as a lever.

Also, due to the aforementioned lack of proper cooling and the temperatures noted in the article, you should expect the components to start degrading within a few months and to burn out completely in perhaps a year if you're lucky.

3
0

'We don't think of antivirus as a money maker in any way'

Jedit
Silver badge
Meh

"... along with some company that no-one has heard of yet ..."

I'm pretty sure that if some company that no-one has heard of yet looks like it could break into the top three, one of the existing top three will purchase it long before it gets that large.

2
0

King's stocks are candy-crushed as its top toy suffers splurge slump

Jedit
Silver badge

"Player Milking System"

It's less accurate to say "Stuck? Buy a power-up, plus some levels are almost impossible" than it is to say "Some levels are almost impossible unless and until you use a power-up". I've been stuck on some levels for days, then used a power-up I got from the Wheel and mysteriously it becomes much easier on following attempts. Dreamworld levels are especially bad for this; you get nailed again and again by huge numbers of candies from one side of the balance dropping and none from the other, then you use a power-up and suddenly you stop having three straight yellows drop to tip the owl off and you start getting neutral colours instead.

0
1

Hacktivists hijack BNP Twitter account, crayon over leader Griffin's too

Jedit
Silver badge

"So I took your advice and guess what... it's a lie."

Shock as political party suspends evil fucker when caught.

Do you think UKIP don't screen people for their political views before putting them forward as a candidate?

0
0
Jedit
Silver badge
Headmaster

"Not as overtly racist, but containing a lot of racist members "

You are aware that the latest batch of UKIP posters about "26 million Bulgamanians are coming to take your job" are essentially identical in content to the Nazis' "Wandering Jew" campaign, right?

0
0

Now is 'the wrong time to send hundreds of millions of dollars to Kremlin' - SpaceX boss

Jedit
Silver badge
Coat

The new Apple device: some possibilities

A pedal-powered two wheeled transport device with integrated Apple GPS: the iCycle

A tablet with attached storage container for white earbuds other Apple paraphernalia: the iLid

An old device in a slightly different form, released to placate the herd of Apple fans who are getting restless having had nothing to spend their money on for at least five minutes: the iSoma

Me, rebranded as an Apple product: iLlGetMyCoat

6
2

Sony on the ropes after revising losses UP to $1.3 BEEELLION

Jedit
Silver badge

"The quality of a blu-ray over a normal DVD is immense."

One with a proper transfer is, at least.

However, Sony may not be losing BD money on the royalties from disc sales but rather from hardware sales. DVD players got replaced because newer ones got extra features like HD upscaling, but BD started out with everything users could need and apart from adding 3D - which is a niche market - it hasn't gone anywhere since. I've had my current BD player for almost four years now and nothing has come out since that improves on it.

Sony are also hampered a little by their own success with the PS3 and PS4. If you bought a Sony console you already have a 3D-capable BD player. I don't know if the Playstations are still being sold as loss leaders, but if they are then Sony are undercutting their own dedicated hardware.

1
1

Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

Jedit
Silver badge
Terminator

Thank God she's not a Terminator

"12-gauge auto loader. .45 long slide with laser sighting. Phased plasma rifle in 40-twat range."

"Hey ... you can't put that in there!"

"Wrong."

<BLAM>

2
0

So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

Jedit
Silver badge

The correct term is...

... "les valseuses", in the context of goolies. Or so I'm led to believe by the movies, anyway.

0
0

WTF happened to Pac-Man?

Jedit
Silver badge
Happy

"For me the only 'update' worth visiting is Pacmania"

I'm curious - what is it like, to be so wrong? The definitive Pac-Man game is Ms Pac-Man, which tweaked the original format and maze to their optimal levels. Nothing since has matched it, not even Championship Edition.

(Smiley face, because there is no Pac-Man icon.)

1
0

Adrian Mole author Sue Townsend dies at 68

Jedit
Silver badge

"Getting married at 18 and being a single parent by 23 were certainly not conventional"

You think? Both my mother and my aunt were married in their teens - my aunt in 1955 and my mother in 1972 - and my mother was a single parent at 23. Slightly outside your window, but when it's happening before and after it was certainly happening in between.

0
0

Seagate brings out 6TB HDD, did not need NO STEENKIN' SHINGLES

Jedit
Silver badge
Joke

"I wanted to use it for keeping some Word documents and MP3s on"

Just DOCs and MP3s, huh? Don't worry, you won't have to suffer through any more messages like this one I remotely accessed from your system:

"Your attempt to download allthepornontheinternet.zip has failed at 99% due to insufficient disk space. Free additional disk space and try again."

0
0

BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

Jedit
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Lightning

I didn't actually think the Lightning connector was reversible. I grudgingly got an iPad Air last month - it's the only serious way to get tablet implementations of board games - and the Lightning connector always seems to take more than one attempt to fit. Admittedly that's slightly better than the current full USB connector that always takes exactly three attempts to fit despite only having two possible orientations, but I have as much trouble with it as I do with micro-USB on my other devices.

Maybe it's just me.

2
1

Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

Jedit
Silver badge
Trollface

"Due to his pledge of chastity..."

"... he should surely be in a reasonably Lego-free house"

That, and shouldn't altar boys be old enough to have outgrown Legos?

10
4

British trolls to face 'tougher penalties' over online abuse

Jedit
Silver badge

"the new "Prosecute and Jail for 6 Months" button."

We already have a "Reply" button.

3
0

Nvidia unveils Titan Z: An 8TFLOPS off-the-shelf supercomputer disguised as a gfx card

Jedit
Silver badge
Boffin

"well at least you will be able to paly crysis at full detail in 1080"

Not at 60 FPS, you won't.

1
0

BOFH: On the PFY's Scottish estate, no one can hear you scream...

Jedit
Silver badge
Stop

"Sending money to Uganda" has a nice ring to it"

Given the meaning of "discussing Uganda" as popularised by Private Eye, I would not threaten someone with sending money there. They would almost certainly think I was paying for something entirely different.

1
0

Keep your quinoa, hipsters: Boffins back healthy slabs of choc

Jedit
Silver badge

Re: So is it ok to chew coca leaves now?

Please note the minor yet significant difference between "coca" and "cocoa". Getting it wrong could lead to disaster, either by chewing a narcotic leaf instead of a tasty sweet or worse, severely injuring your nose when you attempt to snort a bar of Green and Black's Maya Gold.

12
0

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

Jedit
Silver badge

" using MMDDYYYY doesn't help sort at all"

Which is exactly what I meant when I said "don't do it half-assed", so I have no idea why people are downthumbing me.

2
0
Jedit
Silver badge
IT Angle

"Of all the many and varied stupid things in the world"

It's not exactly stupid - most people are more inclined to say "March 14th" than "the 14th of March", after all. It just isn't hierarchical to talk about March 14th 2014.

On the other hand, when sorting objects by date it's much easier to use MMM-DD than DD-MMM. Take a look at the Register's own URLs - all today's articles are filed in subdirectory /2014/03/14/. So for IT purposes the American system of expressing dates is superior ... at least, when you don't do it half-assed.

2
15

SACRILEGE! Hitchhiker's Guide game's back ... and it TWEETS at you

Jedit
Silver badge

"Did they also do that Death Cruise thing with a decoder wheel?"

Cruise For A Corpse? No, that was Delphine Games.

0
0
Jedit
Silver badge

Re: Infocom games are cool again? Awesome!

The best part of the H2G2 game was the ziplock bag containing your very own microscopic space fleet, and the replica demolition orders for Arthur's house and the Earth which differed only in that one was written in Vogon.

Infocom gave the best extras. Planetfall had three bags of scented goo to match the food packets in the game, The Lurking Horror contained your character's student card and Leather Goddesses of Phobos had a scratch and sniff card to use at various points in the game. (OK, maybe not so much that last one, but still.)

6
0

Indestructible Death Stars blow up planets with glowing KILL RAY

Jedit
Silver badge

"I can't even think of a word to do justice to its size!"

"Big". HTH, HAND.

To answer your question: mass isn't enough to create a black hole, you need density as well. If you want to know more about it, watch the 1979 Disney movie The Black Hole. You'll learn nothing about black holes, but it's a really good movie and you'll enjoy yourself a lot more than if you'd spent the same length of time poring over scientific textbooks for relatively useless trivia.

4
0

HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans

Jedit
Silver badge

"I always practice safe editing and protect myself with WCAG"

When visiting a website I'm not familiar with I always make sure my Cat6 network cable is properly sheathed.

It's also ten metres long and I keep it strapped down so people won't trip over it. I can show you pictures, if you don't believe me.

3
0

ROBOCOP statue, Minecraft film, revived Sinclair ZX Spectrum...

Jedit
Silver badge

"Those figures don't really reflect the national enthusiasms for Kickstarter"

The average donations for Australia are heavily skewed because international shipping generally has to be included in your pledge. Australia gets hit for this worse than anywhere else.

0
0

Beta tasting: The Elder Scrolls Online preview

Jedit
Silver badge

Congratulations

You're the first person anywhere who has had anything positive to say about TESO.

7
2

Battling with Blizzard's new WoW expansion and Diablo revamp

Jedit
Silver badge

"it isn't a very good curve."

If the game was murderously hard from the off then a lot of people who only want to log on and kill sprites for 20 minutes would have been driven away. People who have been driven away don't buy expansions. So instead they put in a system where even the most casual player gets to see and kill Diablo but the hardcore gamers would still have something to aim for.

The mistake Blizzard made was in having it take three trips through the game before you reached the level cap. I agree this was a bad decision and it did drive people away simply because it got tedious. But you're blaming Blizzard because you didn't die during the tutorial, and that's silly.

As of patch 2.0 this week it's all moot anyway - monsters now scale to your level and difficulty levels can be adjusted on the fly so you can pick one that's right for you. If you play a brand new character on Expert (the second difficulty level) you should get to 60 by the time you complete Act IV for the first time, and loot rains down upon you like pigeon crap in Trafalgar Square. If you've already paid for the game, you might want to give it another go.

0
0
Jedit
Silver badge
Thumb Down

"I don't think I died while playing this game"

You didn't play in Inferno, then. Nobody who did would ever say Diablo III was easy when it first came out. Inferno mode stole everyone's lunch money and all the first Inferno Diablo kills were done with exploits because it was impossible without them. It's easier now, because Blizzard have learned from their mistake.

5
1

Loki, LC3 and Pandora: The great Sinclair might-have-beens

Jedit
Silver badge
Stop

"Sinclair appear to have invented the new Mac Pro some 30 years ago!"

No, Sinclair stole the design for the new Mac Pro some 30 years ago. Don't you keep up with technological developments?

14
0

Smart getaway drivers would yell at Officer Glasshole: 'SafeSearch off, Horse porn'

Jedit
Silver badge
Go

"Petitions are useless"

Very true - a hundred people with signs *are* infinitely more likely to succeed than an online petition. Of course, infinity times zero is still zero. It's depressing,

3
0

Japanese fanboi first in queue for, er, iPhone 6

Jedit
Silver badge
Joke

"It's a chocolate 'Yule log' and the filling is leaking out"

That's what they all say when they're in the dock!

0
0

STRIPPED DOWN and EXPOSED: Business kit from the good old days

Jedit
Silver badge
Coat

"I've still got a stack of 5 inchers with Harvard Graphics on them"

If you've only got a 5-incher then I have bad news for you - you've definitely been superseded.

2
0

Jean Michel Jarre: Je voudrais un MUSIC TAX sur VOTRE MOBE

Jedit
Silver badge
Terminator

"Bring the oxygen - we have a case of severe equinox here!"

More of a revolution over some magnetic fields, if you ask me.

0
1

NatWest 'spam' email cockup got me slapped with late payment fee, says angry Reg reader

Jedit
Silver badge

"Anybody who has anything to do with RBS or Natwest..."

... is insane. I closed my account there after I was able to deposit a cheque that wasn't made out to me into my own account. Gross incompetence from top to bottom.

3
5

Elderly Bletchley Park volunteer sacked for showing Colossus exhibit to visitors

Jedit
Silver badge
Mushroom

How ironic it is that people are being prevented from seeing a vital piece of the history of Hitler's defeat by exactly the kind of banally evil bureaucrat he would have loved.

17
2

Apple’s Mac turns 30: How Steve Jobs’ baby took its first steps

Jedit
Silver badge

"Such a simple, obvious idea"

Moving the keyboard on a laptop from the front to the back was far from an obvious idea. To get the maximum screen size on the minimum footprint, the screen needs to be as close to the hinge as possible. If the keyboard is at the back of the case, the user's hands will block his view of the bottom of the screen. Apple got around this by raising the screen, but users paid for it with a slightly smaller display and a significantly thicker device.

1
6

Boffins measure 27 quantum states of light

Jedit
Silver badge

You must have seen the movie, you must have read the book

Did it never occur to Schrodinger that the cat was an observer?

4
0

UK smut filter may have sent game patch to sin-bin

Jedit
Silver badge
Coat

"Wessex, Sussex, Middlesex, Essex"

I always wondered why there was a West Saxon, a South Saxon, a Middle Saxon and an East Saxon but no North Saxon. Then I realised it was probably because they tried calling it "Nosex" and everybody left.

13
0

Now we're cookin' on gas: Google crafts sugar-alert contact lens for diabetics

Jedit
Silver badge
Flame

"they are all able to naturally feel when their blood sugar is getting too low."

Type 1 diabetics can lose sensitivity to hypoglycaemia, which is why all sufferers of the condition are advised to test regularly whether they "feel low" or not. Kindly take your magnificently ill-informed opinion about how to control a potentially lethal disease that you do not have and fuck off.

4
1

Boffins find ALIEN WORLD orbiting the Sun's LONG LOST TWIN

Jedit
Silver badge
Alien

"in centuries to come the definition of "life" will turn out to be far broader "

It already includes bronies. I don't think I want it to get any broader.

0
0

Ian Williamson: The engineer who gave Sinclair his first micro

Jedit
Silver badge

This seems oddly familiar...

Is this article a repost? I'm sure I saw a lot of the material (including SCRUMPI) elsewhere on the Register last year.

0
0

Twitter: It's JUST LIKE Elder Scrolls (no it's not)

Jedit
Silver badge
Boffin

The "Twitter is th ebest computer game ever to have been created" irked me too

I don't know, arguably internet forums are the Microsoft Word MMO.

1
0

Woman whipped gun from vagina in SPACE ALIEN spat, reports Officer Zook

Jedit
Silver badge

"Was it a Derringer or a .44 Magnum the most powerful handgun in the world?"

Why does it matter? It wasn't being held in a hand.

2
0
Jedit
Silver badge

"it might be that the bullet is too small for the barrel."

Why assume there's something wrong with his organ, just because it wasn't built for playing in a cathedral?

3
1

Block The Pirate Bay? Arrr, me hearties, new P2P client could sink that plan

Jedit
Silver badge

"I wonder if those people who have given me a thumbs down have bothered to review the ads"

I wouldn't, as I have never seen an ad on the Pirate Bay. If you're dumb enough to go browsing sites you think are dodgy without using blockers for adverts and Java, then you deserve all the thumbs down that you get.

1
0

Classy Oregon diners tipped waitress with 'crystal meth' – cops

Jedit
Silver badge
Pirate

"Why doesn't anyone believe me?"

Because it's a ridiculous claim. Do you know how long it would take one person to smoke three LED torches?

9
0