* Posts by Jedit

1069 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

Microsoft steps up Windows 10 nagging

Jedit
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Flame

"It's reasonably quick to boot and shut down, light on resources and very stable."

I tried installing Windows 10 and found it definitely used less resources than Win7. That's because it disabled my firewall and internet security software.

Win10 is a virus.

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Angel

"And my left testicle is a Nigerian Prince!"

After receiving all those scam emails, I've developed an overpowering to kick a Nigerian prince. Invite me round to your place, would you - I can get two for the price of one!

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Old jet bits, Vader's motorbike gear, sonic oddness: Hats off to Star Wars' creative heroes

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"All the chunks with Hayden Christensen, and all of Episode I."

Honestly, Episode I would have been OK if Anakin's story had directly mirrored Luke's by starting him at 18. Drop the midichlorian crap and the "humourous" racial stereotyping as well and it would have been pretty good.

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Thai women drugged punters 'with Xanax-spiked nipples' – cops

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WTF?

"I wonder if it's actually possible to administer an effective dose"

I don't know if it is or not, but I do know that the "Thai hooker/stripper with drugged nipples" story is an urban myth that has been going around since at least the 1980s. I'm not at liberty to check El Reg's source right now, but they may have been tricked into reporting legend as fact.

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Science Museum trumpets Da Vinci expo

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Thumb Down

"Come by National Express (unless you live in the North of Scotland)"

I do live in the North of Scotland.

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Apple's Watch charging pad proves Cupertino still screwing buyers

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Thumb Down

"I'm pretty certain $80 was intended not '£'"

If you live in the UK and talk technology prices, swapping $ for £ without adjusting the numbers is instinctive at this point.

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Gimp

"Do you have to pay extra for Apple branded lubricant jelly?"

No, just apple flavoured.

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Commentard achieves bronze badge, goes directly to jail

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Coat

"depriving someone of El Reg must count as cruel and unusual punishment?"

No, that's forcing them to read the comments section.

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Sennheiser announces €50,000 headphones (we checked, no typos)

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Pint

" I know enough City wbankers who would buy this just to show they have money"

Had money, surely?

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Spanish town trumpets 'Clitoris Festival' thanks to Google snafu

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Re: Nid wyf yn y swyddfa ar hyn o bryd

Sorry, guys - I can't tell which of those words is the Welsh for "clitoris".

Though, according to Google Translate the answer is probably "all of them". It's like the end of Being John Malkovich, except with clits.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller special: The WHO bacon sarnie of death

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Joke

"the BBC decided that was too rude and so they changed it to cupid ..."

As I recall it, Cupid was only ever referred to by a single name in any of the sketches. It wasn't until someone asked what her second name was and Everett replied "Stunt" that the joke became known.

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UK.gov plans to legislate on smut filters after EU net neutrality ruling

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Boffin

"Quick! Download ALL the porn!"

Your attempt to download allthepornontheinternet.zip has failed at 99%. Free up more disk space and retry.

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Mostly Harmless: Google Project Zero man's verdict on Windows 10

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Big Brother

Mr Soft

Microsoft, turn around and force the world to install Windows 10...

Definitely having a Steve Harley moment after that post.

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Woman makes app that lets people rate and review you, Yelp-style. Now SHE'S upset people are 'reviewing' her

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Angel

"Never join such a website. Go live in the real world."

There's a certain irony in an anonymous poster on an internet community forum exhorting his fellows to "go live in the real world" to avoid becoming disconnected, don't you think?

Reality is a wonderful place, but I'm glad I don't have to live there full time.

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US military personnel investigated for splashing $96,576 on strippers

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Big Brother

"The point of this is that they used the government expenses cards/accounts to pay for it it."

No, the real scandal is that $6. Which cheap bastard slipped a $1 bill in among the fives and tens?

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Blighty's Bloodhound 1,000mph rocket car unveiled ahead of record attempt

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Pint

"(just ask Donald Campbell)"

If we could ask Donald Campbell, it wouldn't be half as challenging as you're making out.

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Total War: Warhammer, Blood Bowl and other Games Workshop table-to-screen delights

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Alien

"video games are going to be the only practical and affordable way to play the GW games"

Yeah, GW have been getting terrible for years and everyone in the trad gaming hobby knows it. However, for a few years now Fantasy Flight Games have had the license to publish non-miniatures based games in the GW universe and they are not terrible (except in the rulebook department). They've reprinted the classic Chaos Marauders, and they have a range of other releases including variants on Blood Bowl and Space Hulk.

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Robber loses heist case after 'evil twin' defence, gets 60 years

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Flame

"It's why soap on a rope is so popular over here"

Because you have a higher percentage of your population jailed than almost any other country in the world? My goodness. And here I was thinking it was because many Americans are too fat to bend down and pick up the soap if they drop it.

Rape jokes aren't funny. It doesn't matter who is getting raped.

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A krayshee sexy Dutch post-pub nosh neckfiller: Stamppot

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Headmaster

"thats a recipie for loosing a finger in my house"

And for once, this would be worse than having your I out.

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SPOOKY new Pluto snaps will make the HAIR RISE on the back of your neck

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"it has taken this long for the snaps to be sent and processed."

So, time for another holiday then?

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Brown kid with Arab name arrested for bringing home-made clock to school

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"I wonder if Costa paid for 9/11 training?"

Well, obviously. Everyone knows that things in airport terminals Costa bomb.

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Reviewed: Shadowrun: Hong Kong, Until Dawn, Hearthstone expansion and more

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"The Grand Tourny is actually free, only costs 700 gold to buy each level"

This is completely incorrect. The Grand Tournament is not an adventure like Naxxramas or Blackrock Mountain (which do cost 700G per wing, or you can buy them for real money). It's an expansion that comes in booster packs of 5 cards that cost 100G each or can be bulk bought with real money.

You can play Hearthstone for free, but it's pretty painful unless you're already good at it. The best advice for new players is to save your gold for Arenas (which reward packs and cards and let you learn by experience) and buy Naxx and BRM for money. Basically it's now a $50 game with further optional micro-transactions. It's still good VFM at that level, though.

(Handy tip for people who plan to spend real money: if you have an Android device, install the Amazon app version of the game and make purchases through that using Amazon Coins. The coins are discounted at least 10% when bought in bulk, plus there's often a partial rebate on Coin purchases - IIRC there's a 25% rebate on right now in the US. Also you'll be given a free Classic booster pack the first time you complete a game on each of an Android tablet and phone, an iPad and an iPhone.)

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MYSTERIES of remote ICE WORLD PLUTO: New pics BAMBOOZLE boffins

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Pint

"Is it just me or is that last close-up actually the Isle of Wight?...."

Can't be - it looks far too interesting.

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Don't want to upgrade to Windows 10? You'll download it WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

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"I've been struggling to articulate just what it is about Windows 10 that bothers me"

I haven't struggled at all. When I installed Windows 10 it disabled my firewall and antivirus without notifying me and left my PC completely unprotected. I uninstalled it immediately, and I will not install it again.

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Reg reader shares AshMad blackmail email about which he gives 'zero f***s'

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"Please tell me. What am I doing wrong?"

You didn't sign up to AshleyMadison, obviously.

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Ex top judge admits he's incapable of reading email, doesn't own a PC

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Pint

Re: Life imitates NTNOCN

The Deluxe is the one with real hair, isn't it?

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Vote now: Who can solve a problem like Ashley Madison?

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Black Helicopters

I did not vote in this poll

How could I? There was no option to select Ethan Hunt.

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The most tragic thing about the Ashley Madison hack? It was really 1% actual women

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Holmes

Re: Rule 29

I thought it was "The internet, where men are real men, women are also real men and children are the police"?

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What Ashley Madison did and did NOT delete if you paid $19 – and why it may cost it $5m+

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Mushroom

"... then complaining when telesales phone them up. Idiots."

If you claim to have deleted my records completely then your sales department phones me up, then either you're lying about deleting records or your company is cold calling. Either way, if you think I'm an idiot for being angry about that you can go fuck yourself.

E: Doctor Syntax - you'd be amazed how many companies give zero shits about the TPS. They get around regulations by claiming it's a market research call so they can claim you consented to receive the sales pitch if you answer any questions, or by saying each time they call that they're very sorry, it was a mistake and they'll take you off the list (which wears thin after the third or 23rd time, but hey - they didn't know, they just have a list). That's assuming they don't simply base their call centres outside the UK, or not give their number and/or company name so you can't even file a TPS complaint.

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Adulterers antsy as 'entire' Ashley Madison databases leak online

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"Ashley Madison is such an awful name"

They chose it based on commonality of use. I forget if it was just the two most popular girls names that year or the names most commonly used by women being anonymous, but you could probably Google it.

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Boffin

"emails from match.com ... which I definitely never signed up for"

Match.com bought OKCupid a little while ago. If you had a profile there they may be trying to persuade you onto the paid service.

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Feeling a physical present: Ten summer games and gadgets

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Exploited Cretins

Please do not recommend Exploding Kittens to anyone, ever, not even ironically. Not even if you hate them. It is terrible in every way.

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Monster Scalextric Formula 1 circuit to go under the hammer

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"Looks flat to me so there is no Eau Rouge"

it's not flat(!!!). The circuit is a figure eight, so it couldn't be flat without terrain rises - which are clearly visible in the photo anyway.

I can't tell from the angle if Eau Rouge is on the circuit, unfortunately.

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Another death in Apple's 'Mordor' – its Foxconn Chinese assembly plant

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FAIL

"It is only news because it involves Apple"

So you missed the bit of the article where the writer linked to a past El Reg article about Foxconn workers threatening suicide at a factory assembling XBoxes? Perhaps you didn't read it, because it wasn't about Apple.

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Moronic Time cover sets back virtual reality another 12 months

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"a 22-year-old billionaire who hangs out with Mark Zuckerberg"

Well, I suppose the huge wealth makes up in some small way for having to hang out with Mark Zuckerberg.

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Intel emits Skylake CPUs for gamers, overclockers (Psst, you'll need new RAM and a new mobo)

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"Wonder if skylake will be better?"

It will be better In that it will reduce the price of X99 systems, but it's not worth getting. Performance improvements under low stable overclocks are apparently only 2-3% over Haswell-E.

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The Breakfast (Table) of Champions: Micro Machines

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"I would like to see it with updated graphics though"

There was a game called Re-Volt released some time around 1999 that might scratch the itch. It's basically Micro Machines crossed with Stunt Car Racer; the "plot" is that the remote controlled cars in a department store come alive at night and drive around the store. The physics model is interesting in that the cars have been modelled to have very little weight, so the feeling is of driving an RC car. Comes with a track designer, too.

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Hole in (Number) Two: MYSTERY golf-course pooper strikes again

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Re: possible new superhero

He's a diamond in the rough, and something entirely different on the green.

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Game over, Ouya, the Android gaming console

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Devil

"put your questions and curiosity in a box, and bury it deep."

It can go in the same box as your Ouya. At last, value for money from that project!

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Are you a Tory-voting IT contractor? Congrats! Osborne is hiking your taxes

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Terminator

"At which point, believe it or not, the government will get less tax, not more"

Really? Damn. I guess the Tories will just have to cut even more public services and sell off the NHS even faster. Of course that haste means they won't be able to negotiate the best deals, so their rich mates will be paid more and buy for less, but that's a sacrifice they're willing to make.

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Grooveshark cofounder Josh Greenberg dead at 28

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Headmaster

"How can they say there's "no foul play" if 'the cause of death has not yet been determined"?"

They didn't say "no foul play", they said "no evidence of foul play". It's an important distinction. What they mean is there were no signs of forced entry, no injuries on the body, no indicators of poisoning or OD and so on. So until they have a post mortem indicating that Greenberg might have been murdered, they're not starting an investigation.

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Your poster guide: A fascinating glimpse into North Korea's 'internet'

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Big Brother

"it is actually possible, by law, to avoid any mention of Kim Kardashian"

That's not the Kim they'd rather avoid mention of.

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British spooks wave through Samsung S6 mobes for UK govt bods

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Alien

An obvious ploy

This is only happening because the MPs want them to play games on, and the S6 range have been selected because they want to get that unique card back for Hearthstone.

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Reddit CEO U-turn: Site no longer a bastion of free speech – and stop posting so much hate

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"Too bad you Brits don't get to have free speech, it's quite nice"

In 2011 Reddit had to be pressured into removing a number of subreddits like r/jailbait for posting content that was legally classified as child pornography. If that's freedom of speech, you can keep it.

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New Horizons: We've got a pretty pic of Pluto. Now let's get our SCIENCE on

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Headmaster

"Is that exceptional, and if not, why not?"

"If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants" - Isaac Newton

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FLYING PIG crash-lands in Utah: Rider survives, bacon saved

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Devil

"When a 100' tall grinning Tony Blair goes floating past my window"

"Mr Notspartacus, you stand accused of firing multiple shotgun blasts into a 100' hot air balloon shaped like the head of Tony Blair, causing thousands of pounds of property damage and a serious public disturbance. There are twenty-seven witnesses to you performing these acts, and the police found you with the shotgun still in your hands. And yet you continue to protest your innocence. How can you possibly justify such a claim?"

"Your Honour, I thought it was the real thing."

"Case dismissed." *thunk*

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Dexter maker Showtime streams over the 'net, joins cable-cutting gang

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FAIL

They're streaming Dexter?

Then I'm out. God, that show turned into a trainwreck.

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Call that a mugshot? Aussie model/fugitive asks rozzers for more flattering pic

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Black Helicopters

"the secret image processing algorithms in passport photo machines "

The reason everyone looks like a mugshot in a passport photo is because you're commanded to do the same things - look directly at the camera, do not smile - and they use the same plain white background to highlight your face. It's intentional: the object in both cases is to make you easily recognisable from the photo.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Uitsmijter

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Pirate

"I'm still too sure what the one with the four pointy bits is for."

Stabbing Southrons when they exhibit contempt for the North.

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Reddit meltdown: Top chat boards hidden as rebellion breaks out

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"If you were waiting for a real Reddit shitstorm"

You mean Paedogeddon 2011 wasn't a real shitstorm?

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