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* Posts by Jedit

848 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

Jedit
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The correct term is...

... "les valseuses", in the context of goolies. Or so I'm led to believe by the movies, anyway.

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WTF happened to Pac-Man?

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Happy

"For me the only 'update' worth visiting is Pacmania"

I'm curious - what is it like, to be so wrong? The definitive Pac-Man game is Ms Pac-Man, which tweaked the original format and maze to their optimal levels. Nothing since has matched it, not even Championship Edition.

(Smiley face, because there is no Pac-Man icon.)

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Adrian Mole author Sue Townsend dies at 68

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"Getting married at 18 and being a single parent by 23 were certainly not conventional"

You think? Both my mother and my aunt were married in their teens - my aunt in 1955 and my mother in 1972 - and my mother was a single parent at 23. Slightly outside your window, but when it's happening before and after it was certainly happening in between.

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Seagate brings out 6TB HDD, did not need NO STEENKIN' SHINGLES

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Joke

"I wanted to use it for keeping some Word documents and MP3s on"

Just DOCs and MP3s, huh? Don't worry, you won't have to suffer through any more messages like this one I remotely accessed from your system:

"Your attempt to download allthepornontheinternet.zip has failed at 99% due to insufficient disk space. Free additional disk space and try again."

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BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

Jedit
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Meh

Re: Lightning

I didn't actually think the Lightning connector was reversible. I grudgingly got an iPad Air last month - it's the only serious way to get tablet implementations of board games - and the Lightning connector always seems to take more than one attempt to fit. Admittedly that's slightly better than the current full USB connector that always takes exactly three attempts to fit despite only having two possible orientations, but I have as much trouble with it as I do with micro-USB on my other devices.

Maybe it's just me.

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Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

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Trollface

"Due to his pledge of chastity..."

"... he should surely be in a reasonably Lego-free house"

That, and shouldn't altar boys be old enough to have outgrown Legos?

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British trolls to face 'tougher penalties' over online abuse

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"the new "Prosecute and Jail for 6 Months" button."

We already have a "Reply" button.

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Nvidia unveils Titan Z: An 8TFLOPS off-the-shelf supercomputer disguised as a gfx card

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Boffin

"well at least you will be able to paly crysis at full detail in 1080"

Not at 60 FPS, you won't.

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BOFH: On the PFY's Scottish estate, no one can hear you scream...

Jedit
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Stop

"Sending money to Uganda" has a nice ring to it"

Given the meaning of "discussing Uganda" as popularised by Private Eye, I would not threaten someone with sending money there. They would almost certainly think I was paying for something entirely different.

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Keep your quinoa, hipsters: Boffins back healthy slabs of choc

Jedit
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Re: So is it ok to chew coca leaves now?

Please note the minor yet significant difference between "coca" and "cocoa". Getting it wrong could lead to disaster, either by chewing a narcotic leaf instead of a tasty sweet or worse, severely injuring your nose when you attempt to snort a bar of Green and Black's Maya Gold.

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O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

Jedit
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" using MMDDYYYY doesn't help sort at all"

Which is exactly what I meant when I said "don't do it half-assed", so I have no idea why people are downthumbing me.

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Jedit
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IT Angle

"Of all the many and varied stupid things in the world"

It's not exactly stupid - most people are more inclined to say "March 14th" than "the 14th of March", after all. It just isn't hierarchical to talk about March 14th 2014.

On the other hand, when sorting objects by date it's much easier to use MMM-DD than DD-MMM. Take a look at the Register's own URLs - all today's articles are filed in subdirectory /2014/03/14/. So for IT purposes the American system of expressing dates is superior ... at least, when you don't do it half-assed.

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SACRILEGE! Hitchhiker's Guide game's back ... and it TWEETS at you

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"Did they also do that Death Cruise thing with a decoder wheel?"

Cruise For A Corpse? No, that was Delphine Games.

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Jedit
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Re: Infocom games are cool again? Awesome!

The best part of the H2G2 game was the ziplock bag containing your very own microscopic space fleet, and the replica demolition orders for Arthur's house and the Earth which differed only in that one was written in Vogon.

Infocom gave the best extras. Planetfall had three bags of scented goo to match the food packets in the game, The Lurking Horror contained your character's student card and Leather Goddesses of Phobos had a scratch and sniff card to use at various points in the game. (OK, maybe not so much that last one, but still.)

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Indestructible Death Stars blow up planets with glowing KILL RAY

Jedit
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"I can't even think of a word to do justice to its size!"

"Big". HTH, HAND.

To answer your question: mass isn't enough to create a black hole, you need density as well. If you want to know more about it, watch the 1979 Disney movie The Black Hole. You'll learn nothing about black holes, but it's a really good movie and you'll enjoy yourself a lot more than if you'd spent the same length of time poring over scientific textbooks for relatively useless trivia.

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HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans

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"I always practice safe editing and protect myself with WCAG"

When visiting a website I'm not familiar with I always make sure my Cat6 network cable is properly sheathed.

It's also ten metres long and I keep it strapped down so people won't trip over it. I can show you pictures, if you don't believe me.

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ROBOCOP statue, Minecraft film, revived Sinclair ZX Spectrum...

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"Those figures don't really reflect the national enthusiasms for Kickstarter"

The average donations for Australia are heavily skewed because international shipping generally has to be included in your pledge. Australia gets hit for this worse than anywhere else.

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Beta tasting: The Elder Scrolls Online preview

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Congratulations

You're the first person anywhere who has had anything positive to say about TESO.

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Battling with Blizzard's new WoW expansion and Diablo revamp

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"it isn't a very good curve."

If the game was murderously hard from the off then a lot of people who only want to log on and kill sprites for 20 minutes would have been driven away. People who have been driven away don't buy expansions. So instead they put in a system where even the most casual player gets to see and kill Diablo but the hardcore gamers would still have something to aim for.

The mistake Blizzard made was in having it take three trips through the game before you reached the level cap. I agree this was a bad decision and it did drive people away simply because it got tedious. But you're blaming Blizzard because you didn't die during the tutorial, and that's silly.

As of patch 2.0 this week it's all moot anyway - monsters now scale to your level and difficulty levels can be adjusted on the fly so you can pick one that's right for you. If you play a brand new character on Expert (the second difficulty level) you should get to 60 by the time you complete Act IV for the first time, and loot rains down upon you like pigeon crap in Trafalgar Square. If you've already paid for the game, you might want to give it another go.

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Jedit
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Thumb Down

"I don't think I died while playing this game"

You didn't play in Inferno, then. Nobody who did would ever say Diablo III was easy when it first came out. Inferno mode stole everyone's lunch money and all the first Inferno Diablo kills were done with exploits because it was impossible without them. It's easier now, because Blizzard have learned from their mistake.

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Loki, LC3 and Pandora: The great Sinclair might-have-beens

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Stop

"Sinclair appear to have invented the new Mac Pro some 30 years ago!"

No, Sinclair stole the design for the new Mac Pro some 30 years ago. Don't you keep up with technological developments?

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Smart getaway drivers would yell at Officer Glasshole: 'SafeSearch off, Horse porn'

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Go

"Petitions are useless"

Very true - a hundred people with signs *are* infinitely more likely to succeed than an online petition. Of course, infinity times zero is still zero. It's depressing,

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Japanese fanboi first in queue for, er, iPhone 6

Jedit
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Joke

"It's a chocolate 'Yule log' and the filling is leaking out"

That's what they all say when they're in the dock!

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STRIPPED DOWN and EXPOSED: Business kit from the good old days

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Coat

"I've still got a stack of 5 inchers with Harvard Graphics on them"

If you've only got a 5-incher then I have bad news for you - you've definitely been superseded.

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Jean Michel Jarre: Je voudrais un MUSIC TAX sur VOTRE MOBE

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Terminator

"Bring the oxygen - we have a case of severe equinox here!"

More of a revolution over some magnetic fields, if you ask me.

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NatWest 'spam' email cockup got me slapped with late payment fee, says angry Reg reader

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"Anybody who has anything to do with RBS or Natwest..."

... is insane. I closed my account there after I was able to deposit a cheque that wasn't made out to me into my own account. Gross incompetence from top to bottom.

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Elderly Bletchley Park volunteer sacked for showing Colossus exhibit to visitors

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Mushroom

How ironic it is that people are being prevented from seeing a vital piece of the history of Hitler's defeat by exactly the kind of banally evil bureaucrat he would have loved.

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Apple’s Mac turns 30: How Steve Jobs’ baby took its first steps

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"Such a simple, obvious idea"

Moving the keyboard on a laptop from the front to the back was far from an obvious idea. To get the maximum screen size on the minimum footprint, the screen needs to be as close to the hinge as possible. If the keyboard is at the back of the case, the user's hands will block his view of the bottom of the screen. Apple got around this by raising the screen, but users paid for it with a slightly smaller display and a significantly thicker device.

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Boffins measure 27 quantum states of light

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You must have seen the movie, you must have read the book

Did it never occur to Schrodinger that the cat was an observer?

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UK smut filter may have sent game patch to sin-bin

Jedit
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Coat

"Wessex, Sussex, Middlesex, Essex"

I always wondered why there was a West Saxon, a South Saxon, a Middle Saxon and an East Saxon but no North Saxon. Then I realised it was probably because they tried calling it "Nosex" and everybody left.

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Now we're cookin' on gas: Google crafts sugar-alert contact lens for diabetics

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Flame

"they are all able to naturally feel when their blood sugar is getting too low."

Type 1 diabetics can lose sensitivity to hypoglycaemia, which is why all sufferers of the condition are advised to test regularly whether they "feel low" or not. Kindly take your magnificently ill-informed opinion about how to control a potentially lethal disease that you do not have and fuck off.

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Boffins find ALIEN WORLD orbiting the Sun's LONG LOST TWIN

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Alien

"in centuries to come the definition of "life" will turn out to be far broader "

It already includes bronies. I don't think I want it to get any broader.

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Ian Williamson: The engineer who gave Sinclair his first micro

Jedit
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This seems oddly familiar...

Is this article a repost? I'm sure I saw a lot of the material (including SCRUMPI) elsewhere on the Register last year.

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Twitter: It's JUST LIKE Elder Scrolls (no it's not)

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Boffin

The "Twitter is th ebest computer game ever to have been created" irked me too

I don't know, arguably internet forums are the Microsoft Word MMO.

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Woman whipped gun from vagina in SPACE ALIEN spat, reports Officer Zook

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"Was it a Derringer or a .44 Magnum the most powerful handgun in the world?"

Why does it matter? It wasn't being held in a hand.

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Jedit
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"it might be that the bullet is too small for the barrel."

Why assume there's something wrong with his organ, just because it wasn't built for playing in a cathedral?

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Block The Pirate Bay? Arrr, me hearties, new P2P client could sink that plan

Jedit
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"I wonder if those people who have given me a thumbs down have bothered to review the ads"

I wouldn't, as I have never seen an ad on the Pirate Bay. If you're dumb enough to go browsing sites you think are dodgy without using blockers for adverts and Java, then you deserve all the thumbs down that you get.

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Classy Oregon diners tipped waitress with 'crystal meth' – cops

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Pirate

"Why doesn't anyone believe me?"

Because it's a ridiculous claim. Do you know how long it would take one person to smoke three LED torches?

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World+dog: Network level filters block LEGIT sex ed sites. Ofcom: Meh

Jedit
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Something you all seem to have missed...

A number of LGBT support sites have been blocked by the filter, including the website of the LGBT Liberal Democrat group who were involved in the push for marriage equality. So in addition to everything else, the Tories are using the filter to bash gays.

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ZX Spectrum REVIVED as Bluetooth keyboard

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Thumb Down

"Nostalgia is one thing, trying to re-live it is another."

That may apply when talking about consoles from two generations back, but the nostalgia market for 8-bit computers remains strong because while sound and graphical gimmicks may date gameplay never does, and 8-bit games didn't have room for anything but pure unadulterated gameplay. Their legacy continues through indie developers - Super Meat Boy is so 80s it hurts.

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No anon pr0n for you: BT's network-level 'smut' filters will catch proxy servers too

Jedit
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"It was a hung parliament"

The sooner this parliament goes from being hung to being hanged, the better.

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Jedit
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"Web filtering is already the default on mobile phones."

Yes. I found that out while trying to access a friend's Facebook page. If that doesn't tell you the system is filtering for what they want you to see rather than for things that might actually be of concern, then nothing will.

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IDS finally admits what EVERYONE ELSE already knows: Universal Credit will be late

Jedit
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Re: Please can you pass the slit?

Irredeemable Despicable Sociopath would be closer to the truth.

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OHM MY GOD! Move over graphene, here comes '100% PERFECT' stanene

Jedit
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"Really, stanene?"

Better than calling it icosihenagene, and adding the strapline "you just can't have enough".

Personally I wouldn't find stanene out of place in the component list of a Terminator, so it's acceptable as a name.

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Ultimate Doctor Tom Baker REGENERATES, RETURNS to WHO

Jedit
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Headmaster

"Baker ... ain't no 30-something anymore"

He never was. Baker was 40 when he took on the role.

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Doctor Who writers Neil Gaiman and Terrance Dicks talk to The Reg

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"Sadly I do think that Scientology is not what he intended it to be."

Scientology is exactly what Hubbard intended it to be. Or did you forget that he is the person who said the fastest way to make a million dollars is to found a religion?

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Doctor Who: From Edwardian grump to Malcolm Tucker and back again

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" It was nice for McGann to list the companions he's had while working for Big Finish"

It was better than nice - it's made the Eighth Doctor's BF stories officially canon. Moffat's also dropped hints that the Ninth, Tenth and Eleventh Doctors may be allowed to reprise the role for BF if they wish. Eccleston probably won't, but Matt Smith might.

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BOFH: Resistance is futile - we're missing BEER O'CLOCK

Jedit
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"Dueling Banjos played on bagpipes is bloody brilliant!"

Like the BOFH, I believe that the definition of perfect pitch is when you throw a bagpiper off a cliff and he lands on an accordionist. The only exceptions to this are Orbital's Bigpipe Style and the Reel and Soul Society's accordion version of Green Onions. I am not downvoting your post, but only because it would be churlish to do so in addition to hurling you to your death on the rocks 200 feet below.

I do, however, have "O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana (AKA "the Old Spice music") played on a banjo. Now THAT'S good.

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Sony's new PlayStation 4: Early faults ENRAGE some buyers

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"Speak for yourself - If it has DRM like that on it, I won't buy it."

You're seriously using Steam DRM as an argument for buying a Sony console instead?

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HAUNTED HOWITZERS, it’s Call of Duty Ghosts

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Don't bother reading Fables

It turned into a load of tedious crap long ago after the end of the first main arc, and it's coming to a close next year anyway. Read The Unwritten instead.

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