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* Posts by Jedit

796 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

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PayPal to move into the shop - without cards or NFC

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IT Angle

I don't think about who to trust with my piss...

But I've thought about what I'm willing to trust PayPal with.

The IT angle? The forward slash, obviously.

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Megaphone

No, they aren't a bank anywhere

But they act like they are.

I wouldn't trust PayPal with a drop of piss, let alone money.

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Scientists discover Tatooine-style world 200 lightyears off

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FAIL

Unless, of course...

... the two suns aren't precisely the same size and the same distance from the planet.

Losing your son to ego is unfortunate, but getting dropped in it yourself due to having not even a basic understanding of perspective is just downright embarrassing. And slapping a boffin icon on it makes it worse.

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Winter for webOS, winter for Droid, but springtime for iPad!

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Mushroom

Only 20,000 Tabs sold

Mainly because Apple had it made illegal to sell the other 480,000. Nice of you to admit that Apple are trying to sue anyone who releases a genuine competitor product out of business, though.

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Star Wars: The Complete Saga Blu-ray disc set

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You clearly haven't seen Vader's "No"

If you had, you would realise that it wrecks the scene. As originally presented, Vader's emotional dilemma is made obvious through Dave Prowse's body language. Vocalising it strips away any requirement for subtlety of characterisation. Nothing plotwise has changed, but in terms of quality of presentation it's the sonic equivalent of taking a flying scene from Superman and putting the wires back in.

(BTW, you don't have to be an "obsessed fanboi" to believe that Han originally shot first, because it's blatantly fucking obvious that he did.)

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Lincs bloke fined in deceased hedgehog outrage

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"In the absence of a decent picture"

It worries me that you think this story would have been a lot more pleasant had it contained a high quality picture of a man crapping on a deceased spiky rodent.

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Minister seeks to rip 'Like' buttons off German gov web

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Boffin

Why government departments have Facebook pages

Apparently, it's because 7,856 people like them.

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Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

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Joke

All threads on El Reg have erectile dysfunction

Or at least, none of them have been made sticky.

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FAIL

Fanboi logic. It does not resemble our Earth logic.

So, if I can afford an iPhone but am clever enough to buy Android, that means I have *less* money to spend? Really? Surely if I can afford an iPhone but buy something cheaper instead, then I have more money to spend. Even if I'm shopping within my budget, I'm still just as liquid as the iPhone user who can just about afford one - if not more so, as many Android apps are cheaper. Your entire assertion is thus based on the presumption that iPhone owners earn considerably more than Android owners. I can disabuse you of this notion by spending an hour on a city bus route.

Also, I can buy apps from the market with a single click, using an account that works in just the same way as an iTunes account. (And Apple move the litigation drive to sue factor 7.)

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IT Angle

Social surveying at its finest

Both Android and iPhone users fell for the scams, but more than three times as many iPhone users got scammed for twice as much.

(The IT angle? You can't spell "zit" without "IT".)

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Hacker defaces Irish Catholic paper: 'Gotta love false hope'

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FAIL

Nobody has the "right" to be free from mockery

Especially anonymous cowards who evidently can't count to three.

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Onkyo TX-NR609 AV network receiver

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I'm afraid Billy Bremner beat you to it

Speakers on the ceiling, speakers on the door

Speakers on the dashboard, speakers on the floor

I'm surprised you haven't realised that having a visual cue alters how we interpret sounds. For instance, when a car drives past on screen and goes out of the left edge of the shot, we instinctively expect the sound to proceed from front left to rear left as in real life, the car would now be behind us.

Music alone doesn't have that issue; we expect it to come from a static point, which as an audience is generally in front of us. You're still wrong about the hi-fi world settling for two speakers, though; quadrophonic systems have been around forever, for the same reason as 5.1 and 7.2 sound systems exist in cinemas (and I'm glad you've never heard of 22.2) - immersion. Having speakers in front and behind puts you in the middle of the music.

As for why you want two subwoofers: I believe the explanation is that a bi-directional system generates the bass more evenly, providing a smoother effect. (Of course you can also crank them both up to full power and destroy your enemies, assuming you do not live on a geological fault line.)

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Jedit
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Boffin

Q Acoustics 2000

I use a Q Acoustics 1000 set with my Onkyo 608, which were What Hi-Fi's best budget buy pretty much until the 2000 series replaced them.

The 2000 series can be bought as a 5.1 pack for around £500 - sub, centre speaker and four satellites. The satellites are small enough to use as rear surround if you fancy 7.1, so you can buy either an extra pair of satellites for around £110 or a pair of the floorstanding speakers (2020 or 2030, I forget which) for ~£160.

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Hey Commentards! [This title is optional]

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Nope

It's happened at work on IE7/WinXP and at home on Firefox 6/Win7, so it's neither hardware nor software.

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Boffin

A good start

Now, how about making it so you only have to log in once to post? Every time I enter the forums I see "You are logged in as $NAME", but below that there is the usual email and password box that must also be logged in through before I can post.

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appToyz appBlaster

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Hence my saying "as designed". Redesigning the product not to use hammers would also require re-programming every available app.

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Ah ... now I have to drop the other shoe

You're not much more likely to see appBlaster 2.0 on Android - in fact, as designed it could never work on Android. The reason it works on iOS is because every iOS phone is the same size. Android devices come with a variety of screen sizes and formats, so the touchscreen controls would be of different sizes and in different places relative to the hammers.

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FAIL

What mistake?

iproducts are just computers and apps are just code. It's wholly obvious that iOS should be able to run such apps. You should have realised that when you said "I've jailbroken my iPad so I can do it", you also said that if you hadn't jailbroken it, then you couldn't. That is why Apple are behind in the game; because they DON'T let you run these apps, not because their products CAN'T run them.

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Battery deal points to thinner, lighter iPad 3

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FAIL

Don't be an idiot

The iPad 3 is a forthcoming product which is expected to have new features. Do you perhaps expect a dedicated technology news site to not post news about such things?

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Nearing iPhone 5 launch prompts operator action

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Headmaster

Apples and Oranges

Non-Apple phone buyers switch brands because the best phone on the market with the features they want is not always made by the same company. Nokia and Samsung and HTC and Motorola and Sony Ericsson are in competition; that pushes each of them forward in an attempt to be better than their rivals - or at least provide a unique selling point that people will want - and hence win the sales.

Apple phone buyers do exactly the same thing, except instead of buying the best phone on the market they buy the best iPhone on the market.

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Jedit
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You forgot some of the content

... "and that fanbois are still queuing up to buy them even though they do not know how much the iPhone 5 will cost or if it will have specs any better than the iPhone 4 they already undoubtedly have".

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Low blow: Phishers target student loan applicants

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Mushroom

What natural assumption?

Nobody is assuming that students are somehow intelligent enough to detect phishes at will. What is the point is that if you don't have a sufficient grasp of English to know the proper usage of "is" and "are", then you should not be going to university in the UK.

(NB: this doesn't automatically exclude foreign students, as many of them speak English better than our own students do these days. Which is not surprising, as under their inferior education systems they actually have to learn subjects to an acceptable standard to get a passing grade.)

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Apple's ex-cop and the case of the lost iPhone 5

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Joke

I just thought of a great advert strapline for the iPhone 5

"We have ways of making you talk."

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DNS hijack hits The Register: All well

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Pint

Silly Drew...

... why didn't you just blame the Turkish hackers for the missing links?

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Apple girds loins for 'obscene iPad sales surge'

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More expensive?

I do not deny that some tablets are in the same price range as the heilPad - Galaxy Tab 10.1, I'm looking at you - but I've yet to see one that was more expensive at the same capacity. Care to cite?

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Headmaster

"People don't want tablets, they want iPads"

Spelling error there: I'm sure it meant to say "People don't want expensive devices of minimal/specialist use, they want *heinously* expensive devices of minimal/specialist use with an Apple logo on the back".

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Ohio man cuffed for shagging inflatable pool raft

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Joke

With apologies to Olivia Newton-John

And only say that you'll be mine

In no other's arms entwine

But you can't - you're a lilo

Down by the banks of the Ohio!

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NHS diabetic gizmo will text for help if wearer is in danger

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Lack of sympathy is not lack of empathy

I have also seen insulin levels go awry, in my case first hand, because I've been a Type 1 diabetic for 13 years. And yes, sometimes I would like to have a couple of drinks or a Snickers bar, so I do empathise with the poster in that regard. But I don't actually go out and *have* those drinks or that chocolate, because to properly control my condition I have to practice self-control. As a result, in 13 years I've had only one major incident - an attack of diabetic ketoacidosis in December 2009 triggered by the flu - and no long term damage.

I have no sympathy for people who ignore their doctor's advice and jeopardise their own health, nor should I be expected to. Apparently this makes me an idiot - but as I'm an idiot who has no impairment to his sight and no nerve damage, and plans to stay that way until a cure is found, I consider myself ahead of the game.

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FAIL

Such a gadget already exists

It's called a "brain" and reputedly, it comes as standard on humans.

If your wife hadn't come downstairs then someone would still have written your post - as your well-deserved nomination for a Darwin Award. Did you not listen when the endocrinologist told you to drink alcohol only occasionally and always in moderation? NOTHING screws up your blood sugar levels like alcohol, while at the same time it impairs your ability to notice the symptoms.

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Graphene photocells could mean hyper-speed internet

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No doubt there's a joke I'm missing here

I mean, it couldn't be that you're laughing at a collection of syllables which carry no humour in spelling or pronunciation merely because they're in another language.

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Silence ≠ 'yes', watchdog tells lustful ad-biz bakers

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FAIL

Yes...

... because then they'll be able to arrest you and seize your PC when your dynamic IP is reassigned to someone else.

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A Farewell to Oates: Adios, El Reg

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IT Angle

"A multi-tentacled organ"?

I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going...

Jonotsukidoji: Legend of the Register. You will be missed.

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Apple wins (another) Samsung Android injunction in EU

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Mushroom

iOS vs Android

Android and iOS may have been in development at the same time, but that just makes it a case of parallel evolution - separate developers coming to the same, obvious solution. Apple would have to prove espionage on Samsung's part to win this case.

Meanwhile, back in the courtroom: why are Apple not suing everyone else using this variant of Android? I can tell you: as I said in the iPad vs Galaxy Tab thread, it's because Apple don't care about competitors who are regarded as inferior. However, when someone releases a product of equal or greater quality at equal or lesser cost, Apple immediately reach for the legal team because they do not innovate and hence cannot keep up. Their ongoing legal battle with Samsung is nothing more or less than an attempt to eliminate from the market any product that is considered better than their own - namely, the Galaxy Tab and the Galaxy S2.

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Samsung says Apple lifted iPad from Kubrick's 2001

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FAIL

No...

That's because Apple are the only one claiming that the design belongs to them.

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Cerberus

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And Samsung phones have it built in

You can set up a free Dive account that in the event of phone loss, allows you to remotely lock or wipe your phone and get its current location using GPS.

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Here lies /^v.+b$/i

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I always preferred PICNIC

"Problem In Chair, Not In Computer". s/"Chair"/"Coffin", and the job's a good 'un.

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Jedit
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Angel

I'm not going to bother with code

My epitaph will simply read,

"IF OUT, PLEASE LEAVE MAIL NEXT DOOR"

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New Apple move against Galaxy Tab on Euro front

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Pirate

Actually, rounded corners I'll give them

Apple may not have invented rounded corners on tablets, but when it comes to suing for the copying of design rulings are based solely on multiple points of similarity.

For example, none of the features of the Ford Ka are original to that vehicle; however, if Nissan made a car to an apparently identical design then Ford would be within their rights to sue. Nissan would have to show that their car was significantly different in some way in order to continue selling it.

Where it all falls down for Apple is that the Galaxy Tab does have enough significant differences that it cannot be easily confused with the heilPad. Once that has been established, then Apple could only successfully sue if Samsung had stolen a design feature that was unique to Apple products. Or if they bought the judge, of course.

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Jedit
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Mushroom

Nothing evil about protecting your designs

But quite a lot evil about falsifying evidence to make it look like a competitor's product does precisely ape your design, when in fact it doesn't. It has been proven beyond doubt that Apple did this in their evidence for the German ruling on the Galaxy Tab 10.1.

Here's the simple equation: Apple didn't say a thing about other tablets that look a lot more like the iPad, because they were poorly supported and of not particularly high quality. As soon as there existed a well-supported tablet that matched or surpassed the iPad for spec, Apple cried "patent violation!" and tried to have sale of the offending item banned.

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UK, German Android-ers can buy apps on phone bills

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FAIL

Why would they need to charge fees per transaction?

As you would know if you had read the article, Vodafone will add the app purchases to your monthly bill. Vodafone themselves will have a similar arrangement with Google.

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Insulin pump attack prompts call for federal probe

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Headmaster

Let's add a bit more common sense

Diabetics who don't get enough insulin will eventually enter a coma. It is thus VITAL that the dosages from an insulin pump must be readable and for preference adjustable by a person other than the user.

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Sky Movies too expensive, says Competition Commission

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Big Brother

No...

... it's about ten years too late.

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Snap said to show iPhone 5s being stacked by bunnies

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Joke

So...

... it *is* the iPhone 5, then?

Naughty Samsung, you've been copying in advance again.

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iPad sales shove Apple to top of mobile computing tree

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Choice of software, works from the box, similar specs and cheaper?

The Motorola Xoom or Asus Transformer would seem to fit that description.

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Scottish gov moans over broadband cash handout

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Mushroom

%%%%%%

The cash is being allocated to create a network where everyone in the country can have at least 2Mbps - which means significant investment in RURAL broadband. In case you hadn't noticed, Scotland has a hell of a lot more rural areas than anywhere south of the border.

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Jedit
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Headmaster

Because they didn't?

BP had five years of exclusive rights to prospect those waters for oil and gas, and they didn't bother trying. Amoco and Shell then went looking and hit paydirt, and within another five years Aberdeen was richer than Glasgow. Even now, though, the major work is done abroad because it's easier, with Aberdeen serving only as the administrative centre.

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Android app logs keystrokes using phone movements

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Megaphone

On the other foot...

... you'd have collateral damage as a lot of games apps would be completely shafted. Not the primary use of a smartphone, I admit, but it's a selling point and taking it away only from Android would cause developers to leave for iOS.

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Google's Moto move spells iPhone doom

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"Tablets didn't look lke that before the iPad"

http://rossdawsonblog.com/weblog/archives/2011/04/tablet-computers-as-seen-from-1994.html

Not to mention the portable video screen used by Heywood Floyd in 2001: A Space Odyssey. The iPad wasn't an innovative design at all; it is the obvious design for the job it does. If you do your research, you will also see that the original iPhone didn't look too dissimilar to the HTC Touch and more significantly the LG Prada, which was released several months before the iPhone.

(As for your comments on the MacBook Air, I shall ignore them as the blatant fanboi-ism that they are.)

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Jedit
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Joke

What, Apple lie?

Here's the Apple design strategy:

1) Make a generic product that is very dear.

2) Slap an "i" on the front of the name.

3) Claim it's original.

Samsung are being accused of reverse engineering this strategy, hence producing the original i dear.

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Wikipedia: It's not for girls

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Paris Hilton

"Can Wiki tell if an editor is female from their writing?"

If they're writing about friendship bracelets and/or Sex in the City, then the answer is an unequivocal "yes".

(Paris, because more people have looked her up than have looked her up on Wiki.)

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