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* Posts by Jedit

875 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

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Toshiba releases 'world's thinnest' Android tablet

Jedit
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FAIL

@Sean Baggeley

You will get less letterboxing watching a 1.85:1 or 2.39:1 picture on a 16:9 display than you will on a 4:3 display - that's basic mathematics. Moreover, the entire TV industry is now geared to making 16:9 displays and the vast majority of new monitors are also 16:9. As a result, it is increasingly common for TV shows and websites to be designed for the widescreen format. So, tell me again how 4:3 is a better aspect ratio for tablets when the media you are likely to view on them is made with 16:9 formatting in mind?

Oh, sorry, you already answered that one, didn't you? "4:3 is better because Apple do it that way!"

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"Some people use their tablets for things other than watching movies"

I imagine most people do. However, many people do use their tablets for watching movies, and those people will not buy a non-widescreen tablet because the movies look better on a widescreen. Designers are not going to alienate a large section of the market for the benefit of the microscopic fraction who actually *want* a 4:3 screen.

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Upgrade eliminates Atlantis from Google Earth

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Joke

Wales at the bottom of the ocean?

How would this improve the place? The only difference would be it wouldn't rain as much.

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Jackpot: astronomers tag Goldilocks planet

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Headmaster

"Coould we have life without water?"

Theoretically. However, nobody gives a toss because the objective of these searches is to find planets that are like Earth, and which could be explored or even colonised if we ever develop the technology to reach them.

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Google 'chooses' not to censor Mosley content, MP says

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Coat

Slap the cuffs on the press

Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!

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Android users more likely to put out

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Best phone for a young British lesbian?

The one with the strongest haptic feedback, obviously.

Real conversation overheard in Tesco's phone section:

"It says this phone is exciting. Should I be excited by my phone?"

"Dunno - is it set to vibrate?"

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The Register Comments Guidelines

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Trollface

If trolling is forbidden...

... do we still need the icon for it?

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Why I'd pay Apple more to give iPad factory workers a break

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Big Brother

"They'll do the minimum they can get away with"

No, actually they'll do less than the minimum. After the explosion at Foxconn, Apple moved some of their iPad manufacture to Pegatron - who have an even worse record for workers' rights, if such is possible. Apple don't give a damn, so long as their devices are made for the cheapest price and they make the most money.

Incidentally, during the trial production run at Pegatron there was another minor explosion. It is believed that both explosions were caused by aluminium dust catching fire. Other manufacturers use aluminium backs on their tablets, so why is it only Apple who have assembly-line fires?

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Surprise: Neil Young still hates digital music

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Neil Young hates digital music

Which is presumably why the Blu-ray and DVD versions of his Archives: Volume 1 box set include codes to download all the songs as MP3s.

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iPhone 5 rumoured to be packed with pay-by-bonk tech

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Paris Hilton

"A staggering achievement"

Stuff the 20 mile run - the bonk is enough to leave you staggering, if you do it right.

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iPhone doc will detect cancer, diabetes - boffins

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Pint

An interesting idea

Now, consider the concept of linking a car ignition key to an app. Devices are already capable of retinal identification and thumbprint identification; add in the ability to detect blood alcohol levels, and it would be possible to have a car that you couldn't drive if you were over the legal limit.

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German court rejects Samsung tablet appeal

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"Apple would have a better job not blocking it"

I agree, Gary, the device should be allowed to stand or fall on its own merits. If it's really as bad as you say then users will vote with their wallets - even if they don't want an iPad it's not like they're short of alternatives now. But Apple won't let the 10" Galaxy Tabs be judged openly, because that would take money and market share away from them - and God help them if it turns out the public think the Tab genuinely is better.

This is why I personally hate Apple; it's not the tight control on development, the fashion-victim pricing or the massive proportion of Apple users who are complete twunts. It's that Apple believe the only way to win a race is to stop anyone else competing. They've done it many times - by forcing all apps to be sold through the App Store, by prohibiting digital media publishers from undercutting the App Store, and now by preventing potential rivals marketing their products on the flimsiest of grounds.

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Jedit
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Flame

That's exactly what it's about

More precisely, it's about being a rectangle with a screen that is also better than Apple's product at the same price. Apple would be after the Transformer Prime, too, if it weren't for the dock.

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US entertainment lawyer casts doubt on Megaupload case

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Angel

Oh, I like this

The RIAA/MPAA want to exert the laws they paid for to bypass Dotcom's legal defence, but they can't. If the matter is pursued as a criminal case, there's a strong enough defence case to preclude his extradition. If it's pursued as a civil case a conviction is probably assured, but they can't get Dotcom to face the charges unless he goes to the US.

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Apple Italy throws up ruling on its store site

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"Try and be aware of the laws"

Yes, because otherwise you may end up spending more than you have to on bribing the courts.

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Boffins make graphene micro-distillery

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Pint

Degrees, not percentage of proof

I am aware of this, thanks. However, I was coming to the end of my lunch break and didn't have time to find the proper symbol.

Also, please do follow my link. You sound like you might appreciate it.

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Boffin

You aim too low

When it comes to advanced scientific brewing techniques, one should be aiming for at least 300% proof. 307 Ale, my boys, 307 Ale...

http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858848784/

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UK sight-loss charity sues BMI

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Trollface

Hmmm

It seems we also need legislature to assist people who spontaneously orgasm when they view websites. We can't have them ... deprived ... can we?

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North Korea labels phone users war criminals

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Facepalm

Yes...

.... because the only way to deal with a subjugated people whose leaders are systematically blocking any chance they might have to organise their own freedom is to commit genocide against them.

Moron.

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iPad Fleshlight lets fanbois express their love

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Headmaster

Well, actually...

... if the Romans found a legionnaire having carnal knowledge of another man, he would be stoned and beaten to death by his own comrades. And people complained about DADT...

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New forum Wishlist

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Direct links to posts

Or failing that, notifications when someone directly replies to your post or to the thread - God, even Memebase has that. As is, the forums aren't much more than a fire-and-forget comment board; holding an actual discussion is very hard.

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Groupon banned from selling SNAKE OIL

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Trollface

But it MUST work!

I mean, when was the last time you saw a wrinkly snake?

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iPad users 'risk shoulder pain', say US gov, Microsoft boffins

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Coat

Your scenario is a statistical outlier

Most of us don't lie on the sofa, with the TV on our wife, watching something rubbish.

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Google finally admits it wants to OWN YOU

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Paris Hilton

Playboy?

No, honestly ... I only read El Reg for the good articles.

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American search team fails to find women's G-spot

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Joke

There's no difference between sex and tech support

Have you tried turning your woman off, then turning her on again?

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Spam-squirting hole found in McAfee antivirus kit

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IT Angle

Excellent news

Now all McAfee need to do is patch the vulnerability in their installation program where the program installed turns out to be McAfee.

(Why am I questioning the IT angle? Because when you're talking about McAfee, "IT" is only ever half the story.)

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Modeling-clay iPads foisted on unwary Canucks

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Coat

Cashless clay

Please ... he changed his name after converting to iSlam.

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Teen net addicts pee in bottles to stay glued to WoW

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"Where the hell are the parents?"

I imagine they are reading that bastion of truth and morality, The Sun.

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McDonald's punters offered sex in exchange for Chicken McNuggets

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It could have been worse

"Happy Meals - now with happy endings!"

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Woz praises Android, blasts iPhone limitations

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"My girlfriend is very technically literate"

Really? I can't see how she has problems joining your home network, then. My Droid automatically connects to my home network. It also automatically connects to my friend's home network when I'm visiting her in Edinburgh, to the O2 Cloud network, and indeed to any wi-fi network I have previously given it the password for. Likewise, getting apps onto the SD card is done by a single keystroke in my app manager. Transferring data onto the phone is *literally* a matter of dragging and dropping in Windows.

I submit that your girlfriend is not technically literate at all, assuming she doesn't live in Canada. And neither are you, or you would have made up better lies.

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Steve Jobs action figure kicks the bucket

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Joke

"Steve Jobs action figure kicks the bucket"

Wow - it's even more realistic than I thought!

Yeah, yeah, I know...

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Apple will not kill iPad 2 at iPad 3 debut

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Holmes

"Mop up excess demand, or don't restrict buyers to the more expensive model"

I note that the article does not suggest that Apple may release the iPad 3 at the current cost of the iPad 2 and discount the older model. But then, El Reg hacks don't just make things up out of thin air like they do on some other sites.

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Apple touts touch-free perspective-powered 3D tech

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"Apple patents aren't always an indicator of the tech just around the corner"

No, they're more commonly an indicator of existing tech created or dreamed up by someone else.

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Apple iPad 3 to sport LTE '4G'

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Facepalm

"Can we get the Reg Hardware page without current technology news?"

The icon says it all.

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'My product is driPhone, not iPhone'

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I'm not so sure about that

If he was, then he wouldn't have a point of view. He'd also be a bit like you and me, which he isn't.

Mine's the full-body one in tasteful yellow.

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Apple Beijing store egged in botched iPhone 4S launch

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"Or capitalists?"

I was thinking "staff", myself.

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Apple, Amazon and Google take lazy punters hostage

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"I'm a dentist and I'd much rather deal with iTunes"

Thus confirming all our worst fears about dentists. "Is it safe?"

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Go Daddy not liable for cybersquatting, US court rules

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"What's the big deal?"

You're seriously asking why a company hasn't registered every domain that can be related to its name, with every suffix available?

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Doomsday Clock ticks one minute closer to annihilation

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Angel

Preventing procreation can be fun!

You don't have to be willing to put your gonads where your mouth is, so long as someone else is willing to put your gonads where their mouth is...
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Hubble shows images from record-breaking 13.1 billion light-years

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"The universe is asymmetrical, so science is false!"

Er, no. Even had the Big Bang been a perfectly even explosion, the universe would not be symmetrical because it is composed of different types of matter with different weights. This in turn affects both the gravity in and the velocity of various parts of the universe. The distribution of mass would have shifted within picoseconds of the Big Bang.

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Tesla 300-mile e-car UK debut set for 2013

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Swappable batteries

A great idea, but it depends on how swappable they are, how expensive they are, and if they can be charged while not in the car. If the answers to these questions are "as easily as your mobile phone battery", "less than £1000" and "yes", then there would be a lot of mileage (excuse pun) in keeping a couple of spares charged at home and packing them into the car when you need to make extra-long trips.

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VW catches electric Beetle

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Boffin

"They think electricity grows on trees"

Well, given that much of our electricity comes from fossil fuels, and fossil fuels are the remains of ancient forests, arguably it does grow on trees.

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Profs call for harsh taxes on sweet carbonated beverages

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Boffin

It's already in official Reg units

There just comes a point where measuring in Olympic swimming pools becomes unwieldy, and one is forced to measure in Suez canals instead. This point has now been reached.

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LG: 1mm bezel on your telly, anyone?

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Headmaster

It has nothing to do with the bezel

As you don't seem to be aware: active 3D TVs work by alternating their display between an image for the left eye and an image for the right eye. The glasses you use to watch 3D on these screens have shutters that alternately close in sync with the images on the TV, so all you see in your left eye is left eye images and vice versa. The speed at which this occurs is faster than your optic centres "refresh", so your brain gets a continuous stream of data.

What LG have done is devise a system where the "left eye" image is player 1's screen and the "right eye" image is player 2's screen. The glasses are then set up to close both shutters simultaneously, so each player's glasses only let him see images for his own game. The result is full-screen play for two players on the same TV.

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Angry iPhone users bring antitrust class action against Apple

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If the 30% covers Apple's costs...

... why do they also charge an annual development fee?

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Star Wars: The Old Republic

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Stop

White (Jedi) Knights

The idea that a new MMO doesn't have to be as polished as WoW because it hasn't been around seven years is a fallacy. Class balance and amount of content can be excused in a neophyte game, but when it comes to lessons in design there is no excuse for not observing Blizzard's mistakes and learning from them.

Bioware have not done this. WoW used to have quest text that appeared gradually; it became so unpopular with players levelling alts that it was changed to appear instantly. In TOR you instead have the voice acting gimmick, which you will listen to the first time you play - but every time thereafter you'll be impatiently hammering the space bar to get through the annoying cutscene so you can actually play the game.

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You can tell Lucy is a lone wolf...

... because she gave the game 80%. Anyone who wants to play with others will soon notice the complete lack of a useful grouping tool; this was an intentional decision by the developers. The planets are broken down into phased groups with populations so small you can easily play for an hour without ever seeing anyone else; this was an intentional decision by the developers. The worlds are huge but empty and lifeless, and travel is slow; this was an intentional decision by the developers.

As KOTOR 3 the game would perhaps have merited 80%, but it barely even qualifies as an MMO.

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Hasbro sues Asus over Transformer Prime moniker

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Meh

Beg your pardon

I didn't defend Hasbro's taking out the lawsuit - I simply corrected Barry S on his misinterpretation of why they had filed it and what grounds they were suing on. I can understand why people have misunderstood my intent, however.

Suits like these remind me of Private Eye's famous responses to people who threatened libel actions against the magazine, one of which ran roughly like this:

WINNER OF DAMAGES: It would be to your benefit if you were to send any further stories about me to my legal counsel, so they can advise you on whether or not to proceed with publication.

THE EYE: How would your legal counsel respond if we told you to fuck off?

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Jedit
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Learn what is being sued over, fool

Hasbro aren't claiming infringement over the "Transformer" name - just as they didn't sue LG for calling one of their phones the Optimus. They can't, because both "transformer" and "optimus" are words with their own meanings. What they're claiming is an infringement is the *phrase* "Transformer Prime", which is used in the movies, cartoons and comics as the name for the leaders of the Transformers and is trademarked. If Chevrolet release the Chevrolet Idol, no problem; if there was a car manfuacturer called American Automobiles, no problem. But if American Automobiles release the American Idol, you'd better believe a certain TV station is going to drop on them from a height for trademark violation.

Also, just as a sidebar: one of the few Transformers that actually *is* designed to come apart into two separate pieces is Optimus Prime, who separates into the robot and his trailer. Moreover, the trailer is directly analogous to the keyboard dock as it's there to provide additional functionality (it contains Optimus's spare weapons).

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Steve Jobs gets posthumous Grammy AND a bronze statue

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That left hand...

Looked to me like he was giving everyone two fingers at first, which would make it a very lifelike posture. Then I saw that the angle was just bad and all four were there.

On a sidebar, why has El Reg not yet reported Apple's being granted the patent on multitasking phones? I would have thought you'd be all over that.

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