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* Posts by Jedit

831 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

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Angry iPhone users bring antitrust class action against Apple

Jedit
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FAIL

If the 30% covers Apple's costs...

... why do they also charge an annual development fee?

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Star Wars: The Old Republic

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Stop

White (Jedi) Knights

The idea that a new MMO doesn't have to be as polished as WoW because it hasn't been around seven years is a fallacy. Class balance and amount of content can be excused in a neophyte game, but when it comes to lessons in design there is no excuse for not observing Blizzard's mistakes and learning from them.

Bioware have not done this. WoW used to have quest text that appeared gradually; it became so unpopular with players levelling alts that it was changed to appear instantly. In TOR you instead have the voice acting gimmick, which you will listen to the first time you play - but every time thereafter you'll be impatiently hammering the space bar to get through the annoying cutscene so you can actually play the game.

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You can tell Lucy is a lone wolf...

... because she gave the game 80%. Anyone who wants to play with others will soon notice the complete lack of a useful grouping tool; this was an intentional decision by the developers. The planets are broken down into phased groups with populations so small you can easily play for an hour without ever seeing anyone else; this was an intentional decision by the developers. The worlds are huge but empty and lifeless, and travel is slow; this was an intentional decision by the developers.

As KOTOR 3 the game would perhaps have merited 80%, but it barely even qualifies as an MMO.

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Hasbro sues Asus over Transformer Prime moniker

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Meh

Beg your pardon

I didn't defend Hasbro's taking out the lawsuit - I simply corrected Barry S on his misinterpretation of why they had filed it and what grounds they were suing on. I can understand why people have misunderstood my intent, however.

Suits like these remind me of Private Eye's famous responses to people who threatened libel actions against the magazine, one of which ran roughly like this:

WINNER OF DAMAGES: It would be to your benefit if you were to send any further stories about me to my legal counsel, so they can advise you on whether or not to proceed with publication.

THE EYE: How would your legal counsel respond if we told you to fuck off?

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Jedit
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Learn what is being sued over, fool

Hasbro aren't claiming infringement over the "Transformer" name - just as they didn't sue LG for calling one of their phones the Optimus. They can't, because both "transformer" and "optimus" are words with their own meanings. What they're claiming is an infringement is the *phrase* "Transformer Prime", which is used in the movies, cartoons and comics as the name for the leaders of the Transformers and is trademarked. If Chevrolet release the Chevrolet Idol, no problem; if there was a car manfuacturer called American Automobiles, no problem. But if American Automobiles release the American Idol, you'd better believe a certain TV station is going to drop on them from a height for trademark violation.

Also, just as a sidebar: one of the few Transformers that actually *is* designed to come apart into two separate pieces is Optimus Prime, who separates into the robot and his trailer. Moreover, the trailer is directly analogous to the keyboard dock as it's there to provide additional functionality (it contains Optimus's spare weapons).

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Steve Jobs gets posthumous Grammy AND a bronze statue

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That left hand...

Looked to me like he was giving everyone two fingers at first, which would make it a very lifelike posture. Then I saw that the angle was just bad and all four were there.

On a sidebar, why has El Reg not yet reported Apple's being granted the patent on multitasking phones? I would have thought you'd be all over that.

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Ofcom maps out what 'psychics' are allowed to do on TV

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Joke

Now there's a double standard

Catholics have to say that the bread and wine they take during Communion is miraculously transformed into the flesh and blood of Christ after consumption, but the Pastafarians just go for it.

That said, I suppose the Catholics have little choice. If they claimed they really were eating the flesh and drinking the blood of Christ, then either they would be cannibals or Christ would be the Pillsbury Alcoholic.

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine pirate caged

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Facepalm

"Only complete nuts would have troubled themselves to DL the movie"

I don't disagree with you, Vladimir, but the point is that said tiny minority of complete nuts went on to tell the greater majority of people who aren't complete nuts how bad they thought the movie was. Those people (the incomplete nuts?) are the ones who didn't then go see the movie when it came out or buy the DVD. Studios don't care half so much if a few illegal downloaders don't go to the cinema as they do about thousands of ordinary people who *would* normally pay not putting their arses on chairs.

On a sidebar, I'd say that a movie whose sole appeal is the CGI is going to be a bad movie by definition. Special effects need to enhance storytelling, not replace it.

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Actually, it stank

And it's widely believed that Fox were so agitated about the leaking of Wolverine because it cost them millions of dollars from people who would have gone to see it, but did not because reviews of the leaked workprint - the only pre-release reviews that existed, BTW - told them not to bother.

However, thank you for pointing out that I am a moron merely because I do not share your taste in movies (or as it may be, lack thereof).

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Anti-piracy laws will smash internet, US constitution - legal eagles

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Joke

Typical bloody freetard response

I don't care how good your facts are, do you really think you should get to influence Congress without paying?

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Big Brother

Harking back to last week, more like

That's when Virgin Media in the UK censored all three of Arsenal, Hitchcock and Dickens (and also "canals").

I also recall a couple of years ago one very annoyed Guild Wars player complaining he couldn't name his character "Scunthorpe United", and another protesting he couldn't name *his* toon after the aircraft that dropped the first atomic bomb.

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Nissan Leaf battery powered electric car

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Boffin

Rome was not built in a day

Right now this is as good as they can do, but I work in energy management and know what's in the pipeline. Given the chance, five years from now you'll be seeing electric cars with 200-mile range and a four hour full charge time. Just stop expecting the prototype to be the finished product.

That said, the fog lights always being on when in drive mode is a major design flaw for the Leaf. Quite apart from it draining the battery, I really don't see how a car can be awarded 80% when it's technically illegal to drive it in the UK.

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Bah, humbug! Virgin Media censors Charles D**kens

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It gets better

Tech advice forum Experts Exchange (experts-exchange.com) is frequently sent to Coventry by older and more monolithic corporate firewalls, having been blocked years ago before the owners added the hyphen to their URL and never removed.

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The Best of El Reg 2011 now on Kindle

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Joke

Giving away the end?

That's like saying all those crucifixes give away that Jesus dies at the end of the Bible!

On the subject of Isaacson's biography: I saw a funny in-app advert today for this very tome, inviting me to "Read it now on Android".

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Blast at Apple gear factory hurts 61

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Joke

Don't tell me ...

... it was the battery overheating, right?

On a more serious note, I hope nobody was severely hurt. It's not their fault they work for Apple.

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Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas

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Alien

Judge Jedi?

You can imagine a Jedi-run court, can't you? "Attack police officers with a toy, you did. Much alcohol I sense in you."

Hopefully they'll catch some Nigerian scammers. "A better way to make money? No. Easier, perhaps - quicker, more seductive. But when 900 years old you reach, still in prison will you be."

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Alien

The Jedi are extinct

All that remains of their religion is a guy in a full body leather suit who breathes heavily at people - and his boss is a creepy old guy with an unnatural interest in his children.

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Apple's Galaxy Tab ban was best advertising ever - Samsung

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Correct on all points except one

It's not a shame.

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Carrier IQ meets feds 'to educate them'

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Boffin

This is not a Reg problem

I gave the AC thing a look out of curiosity, and for me the notification appears over the icon grid. You need to fix your browser.

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Sony: PS3 sales ahead of target

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Stop

Someone's a bit slow today...

In reading the articles, at least. A typo in the subtitle has been fixed; originally it referred to financial year 2102.

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Facepalm

15m PS3s to be sold in 2102?

I think they're hoping a bit too much for longevity there...

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Brits turned off by Smart TVs

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FAIL

"DLNA should stand for Doesn't Like Nearly Anything"

I have a Samsung TV, and have no problem whatsoever playing back AVIs, MP3s, MP4s and MKVs using DLNA. Perhaps it should stand for "David Lacks Nous, Apparently"?

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Apple's request for HTC ban delayed again

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"... unless Apple have judges in their pockets"

And the German ruling did not convince you that this was true?

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2011's Best... HD TVs

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No, you don't understand now

A TV with poor picture, naff controls and few connections would still work as a TV, and hence justify receiving some kind of positive score. To get a rating of 0%, a TV would have to not work at all.

Also, when it comes to TV group tests, Samsung, Sony, Toshiba, LG and Panasonic TVs are mostly of the same high quality and relatively interchangeable due to industry standardisation. Review ten 3D TVs and the winner will be the one with the least crosstalk. Most of the time it will be a single unique feature that swings the last few points.

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Higgs boson hunters have god particle in their sights

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Angel

"Too early to draw definite conclusions"

Translation from Science to English: "We need a bigger grant".

Interesting news, though.

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Asus Tegra 3, Android 4 tablet priced up for Brits

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Indeed

Particularly when it has onboard slots for SD and microSD cards, bringing it up to a potential 160GB of storage.

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NotW didn't delete Milly Dowler 'false hope' voicemail

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"Trying to get a job on a Murdoch rag are we?"

I doubt it, but your demonstration of a complete and utter inability to read or understand basic facts suggests that you are.

The article clearly states that some of the messages were deleted in this fashion before the NotW accessed the phone. The NI hacks obfuscated the time of Milly's last real access by reading the messages, and are thus guilty as charged of interfering with a police investigation. However, the allegations that they had *deliberately* deleted messages to make room for more "newsworthy items" are false.

The NI hacks also cannot be held responsible for any false hope given to the Dowlers in the first three days after Milly's disappearance, as those messages would have been deleted even had they done nothing. As those three days are the crucial period in which changing gears from a low-priority runaway case to a hunt for a murderer would have had the greatest effect, the effect of their actions to hinder the investigation is reduced.

They're still scum, of course, but not quite as scummy as they are being painted.

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Beeb rescues old Who episodes

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No

The reasoning was "Well, we've aired and repeated that episode and sold it to foreign markets, so we don't need it any more". Doctor Who was light entertainment, not a classic for the ages.

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2011's Best... Games

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FAIL

Skyrim

Now a first person shooter.

(See also: War, Total)

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Domesday Book put on touchscreen at Bletchley Park

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"The book would settle your doom"

That's not where the name came from. The name derives from the content being so complete and accurate a record that a judgement based upon it would be as final as those that would be made on the Day of Judgement (AKA "Doomsday") based on what was written in the Book of Life.

So no, it wasn't about the end of the world, but it was referring to it. As such, "Doomsday Book" is just a modern spelling of the title.

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Judge Dredd vs Zombies

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Headmaster

You forgot Judgement Day

Dredd battled a zombie invasion of the Earth in the Mega-Epic story Judgement Day, so the game fits perfectly into canon.

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Jedit
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Headmaster

"Dredd is pushing 60 in the comics"

Actually, he's past 70. Dredd graduated from the Academy of Law aged 17 in 2079; current MC1 year is 2133, making him 71 (technically 66, as he was artifically aged to 5 years old after his clone birth).

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Mythbusters cannonball ‘myth-fires’

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Trollface

You have the right to bear arms

So if you can carry a full size artillery piece firing 30lb cannonballs, I have no problem whatsoever with you being allowed to keep it.

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Why are Android anti-virus firms so slow to react on Carrier IQ?

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FAIL

"It's why I rate proprietary OS's over open ones."

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/12/01/ios_has_carrier_iq_client/

You were saying?

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Navy pays 2x purchase price to keep warship docked for 5 years

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Headmaster

We may note Pepys' remark...

... but we won't note it as being about the Victory, because Pepys died a century before the keel was laid on Nelson's flagship. Naughty Register, to mislead the public so.

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iPhone banned in Steve Jobs' ancestral home

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Joke

Steve can't hear you

Not because he's dead, mind you - he just can't get a stable connection on his iPhone 4.

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Tesco: buy a DVD, get the download free

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Sandahl Bergman?

I think you'll find the article is referring to this year's remake of Conan, starring Jason Momoa and Rose McGowan.

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Fahrenheit 451 published as Bradbury finally succumbs to ebooks

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An especially ironic example...

... given that Amazon deleted all those e-copies of 1984. How do you burn bytes? Kindle them, obviously.

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iPhone 4/4S 'self combusts' in airliner inferno

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Headmaster

True, not necessarily

But as I said: the more heat a phone is generating, the more likely it is that it *will* happen. That's where Occam's Razor comes in - in the absence of definite proof, the most probable solution is the one requiring the fewest factors. And when there have already been stories of the same thing happening to other models of the iPhone when it is in use, that's further fuel for the fire (so to speak).

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Assuming it was switched on

I would always assume that a combusting electrical device was switched on at the time, as using electricity generates heat. Occam's Razor: the hotter something is, the fewer additional factors are required for it to reach combustion point.

My own smartphone has at times become quite warm during periods of intense use, but never when it's just sitting in my shirt pocket. The guy was using it, no need for facetiousness.

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Jedit
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Boffin

No, let's hope that you're right

Such a ban would force Apple to stop treating their users a bit less like children or intellectual pygmies, or face losing millions of pounds in custom from the people who use their iStuff for business. Even the biggest Apple fan can't deny that this would be a good thing.

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Demon Currys iPad showered kids with HARD-CORE smut

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Headmaster

Correct industry standard for quantity

I beg to differ - he didn't say whether the fucktonne was Imperial or metric.

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San Diego woman strips to bikini to look for her chihuahua

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Holmes

"Her sign is not helping her cause"

I'd say the bikini isn't doing much for her cause either. She's giving people much better things to do with their eyes than look for her dog.

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Apple iPhone owners are the most loyal smartphone buyers

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Headmaster

It's all about the apps

In the case of Apple, migrating would also require the re-purchase of all the apps you've bought. It's stupid to buy into Apple now, but if you bought into smartphones early when the iPhone was the only real contender it makes a lot more sense to stick with it.

(Android users spend less on apps, which also explains the lower retention rate for that system.)

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Jedit
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FAIL

So tell me...

... if Apple is so wonderful and its users are so smart, why are they all posting as Anonymous Cowards so we don't know who they are?

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UK retailers launch pre-Xmas sales Yank style

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Nope

Some stuff on PC World, Currys and Comet sites though.

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Apple crushes High Street in UK web shopping stakes

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Thanks, Diode

it might have seemed obvious, but the order at least was in doubt. Cheers for the clarification.

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Jedit
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WTF?

Top 10s

Now not including #8 or #10.

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What should a sci-fi spaceship REALLY look like?

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Boffin

Mad, yes ...

... but not exactly realistic.

Interesting factoid: Foundation Imaging took the texture for the Shadow vessels from a dog's nose.

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Jedit
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Megaphone

Not enough love for Babylon 5

Mentioning that the station itself was realistic because it revolved to generate gravity is not enough. The Starfury space fighter was also complimented by NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab for being an absolutely spot on design for a small, manoeuvrable craft for use in zero gravity.

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