* Posts by Jedit

886 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

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Reviewed: LittleBigPlanet 3, Lara Croft's latest raid and more

Jedit
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Headmaster

Not a comics fan?

The character in the first screenshot on page 2 is not the Caped Crusader, who is Batman. It's Bat-Mite, an Imp from the same dimension as Mr Mxyzptlk who idolises Batman and dresses up as him to fight crime.

I'm quite surprised that Bat-Mite appears in the game, even if it is heavily influenced by the West-era comics. He was very much a product of that era where Batman got silly for a while, and had hardly appeared for 15 years before he was all but completely retconned out of existence during the Crisis on Infinite Earths in 1985. (Which is why I don't blame you for not recognising him.)

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Twitter co-founder: 'I don’t give a SHIT if Instagram has more people looking at pretty pics'

Jedit
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Stop

Swearwords in article titles

Guys, can you please not put swearwords in the titles of articles? I personally don't mind or care about the odd four-letter word, or indeed many of them, but employers often do. This case was particularly egregious as at time of typing the article is headlining, so the first thing I saw when I loaded up El Reg on my lunch break was "SHIT" in inch-high capital letters. I don't want to lose my workplace Reg-reading privileges...

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BOFH: Capo di tutti capi, bah. I'm having CHICKEN JALFREZI

Jedit
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Alien

Can I borrow the BOFH's temporal compressor?

All three seasons of Deadwood alone come to 25 hours of television. I don't know about Arrested Development, but I somehow suspect it's longer. Having had a rare weekend with the TV to myself I still only managed to knock off Guardians of the Galaxy, The Wolf of Wall Street and a listen to the DTS-MA version of the new Pink Floyd album. It is most depressing.

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MP caught playing Candy Crush at committee meeting: I'll ‘try’ not to do it again

Jedit
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Black Helicopters

"engaging in such a brain-dead moron-fodder activity."

When did puzzle games become moron fodder?

Anyway, this article fails to address the real issue. Candy Crush Saga only gives players one life every thirty minutes unless you make an IAP, when you get given two hours of unlimited lives. If Mills was seen playing the game over two and a half hours, he must have paid to do it - and if this was an officially issued device, it would be linked to a business account so he would have frittered away taxpayer's money to do it. We're all in this austerity lark together, are we?

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Rolling the ATTACK DICE in King of Tokyo

Jedit
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Linux

"King of Tokyo is ok, provided you're only playing with a maximum of four."

We've never had problems with a player going out early in KOT or KONY - really the only way to get beaten quickly is to stay in Tokyo too long, and that is fixed in KONY by being able to heal from destroying military units. Most games have a steady decline for all players, with nobody going out until most players are at 3-5 health. It's usually only 10 minutes to the game end after that, maybe less.

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Boffins unearth the ultimate antique art - 500,000 years old

Jedit
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Coat

I wish to complain about the title of this article

I am disappointed in its implication that if someone likes creating art, they must be a Homo.

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Google kills CAPTCHAs: Are we human or are we spammer?

Jedit
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Paris Hilton

"Maybe what is needed is a combination of natural language processing and ethics"

But then how would lawyers, politicians and bankers get online?

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Legendary Brit physicist Stephen Hawking gets full Intel comms refresh

Jedit
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Headmaster

"Complicated subject matters are not so easily explained in simple lay terms"

Verbosity and intelligence are not interchangeable. Abusing a thesaurus to cover up the intellectual void behind your words is the cheapest trick of the demagogue. Your first paragraph, for example, boils down to:

"I want to imply that I'm saying something clever and you don't understand it because you're stupid. Also I don't want you to actually understand what I'm saying, so I'm using big words to make you think it's important."

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Jedit
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Re: Ignorant and Intolerant Main Stream Media Provides Perfect Protective Cover ....

I heard Stephen Hawking lecture while he was still barely able to speak for himself. He was more easily understood than your post.

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Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

Jedit
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Stop

Indiegogo Warning

It comes as no surprise to me that this project is using Indiegogo for the flexible funding option. This means the project runners will get your cash regardless of whether they meet their goal, making it a popular choice for scammers. Fake retro tech is one of the most common kinds of scam, so I strongly doubt this is on the level.

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Star Wars: Episode VII trailer lands. You call that a lightsaber? THIS is a lightsaber

Jedit
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Headmaster

"what would stop an opponents lightsabre sliding down your light sabre to your wrist"

Lightsabres are modelled on Japanese swords, which also lack crossguards, but the samurai never had much problem with opponents sliding their blade down because when blades clash they become entangled by friction. If you know what you're doing, you can even prevent an opponent withdrawing their blade after a parry.

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El Reg reanimates Cash'n'Carrion merchandising tentacle

Jedit
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"Must be regional since DPD are the best couriers IMHO"

Perhaps it is. But I can only go with what I know, and of around ten parcels I've had shipped to me by DPD only one has arrived on schedule. Because their local collection depot is inaccessible to me as a non-driver I have to be home for those deliveries, so all in all I've wasted at least a week's leave waiting for parcels that never arrived.

My experience with Royal Mail is also the opposite of yours. Their local sorting office is open until 7pm every weekday, 8pm Wednesday, and it even opens on Sunday. A lot of stuff also gets deposited at the local post office just down the street, which as part of a corner shop stays open until 6.30.

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Jedit
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"the web category "Gambling" is not allowed"

Ah, so El Reg will be shipping with DPD then.

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South Londoner wins Reddit MILLIONAIRE not-a-lottery lottery

Jedit
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"Contracting is more lucrative than that!"

True, but contracting generally requires that you do some actual work - or at least, turn up and pretend to do some actual work. Collecting donations from Reddit can be done from the comfort of your own home.

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CERN's 2014 Xmas gift from the Large Hadron Collider: Two new baryons

Jedit
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"it's the beauty quark that accounts for their mass being so high"

Someone needs to set up a dating site for single subatomic particles. "BBB (Big Beautiful Baryon) seeks gluon 35-45nm for romance, possible fusion. Do not mail if you are strange."

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Jedit
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Re: What do they do?

You don't need to know what they do, man - this is SCIENCE!

Hundreds of thousands of years ago, human technological development began when we discovered how to make fire by banging rocks together. Now, at the very peak of our civilisation, we are discovering the underpinning secrets of the universe by banging infinitely smaller rocks together. It's wonderful.

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Jedit
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Joke

Insecure cameras

Are those cameras that ask you if your bum looks big in the picture?

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DEATH fails to end mobile contract: Widow forced to take HUBBY's ASHES into shop

Jedit
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Coat

Re: Let's add to the woman's grief

Yes, it was terrible that T-Mobile texted this woman's dead husband to tell him about their broadband ... but it was a lovely service.

Mine's the one with the urn in the pocket...

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UK PM Cameron says Internet must not 'be an ungoverned space'

Jedit
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"The more I see of .gov the less I want to see it expand."

The more I see of .gov.uk under Cameron, the more I think it should be classified as extremist material.

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Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

Jedit
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"The Bible ... started dark and edgy, then got rebooted to light and fluffy."

Inevitably this happened when the authors sold the movie rights. I understand the going rate for a Gospel was thirty pieces of silver, which really isn't much for the Greatest Story Ever Told.

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No nudity, please, we're GAMING: Twitch asks players to cover up

Jedit
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Mushroom

"If an adolescent sees a bunch of people comfortable in their bodies..."

You realise you just openly supported adults displaying their genitals to children?

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OK Google, do I have CANCER?

Jedit
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Black Helicopters

As if our privacy wasn't being invaded enough

"I'm sorry, Mr Jedit, but you have colon cancer."

"How do you know? I haven't been in for a check."

"Google have extended the range of their search engine."

Keep multinational corporations out of my rectum!

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Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, RENAME TERRORIST WI-FI!

Jedit
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"I thought that was the Islamic version of Poundland... "

Beware of their cheap shoddy knock-offs. I don't care how they brand their products - you can't get one virgin for a quid, let alone 72 of them.

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iPad Air 2: Vulture chews on new Apple tablet

Jedit
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Brighter screen, smaller battery?

Feels like a backstep to me. Why save 21 grams on the device when you can put in a bigger battery and save 100 grams on the charger?

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US court SHUTS DOWN 'scammers posing as Microsoft, Facebook support staff'

Jedit
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Flame

" I will be visiting India early next year (business), and would love to take a look."

A look? If you're not taking a jerry can of petrol and a box of matches, don't waste your time.

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Lufthansa tosses IT biz to Big Blue, inks outsource deal with IBM

Jedit
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Mushroom

"I hope I'm wrong."

And I hope you're not. Lufthansa texted me at 1.30am on Monday to tell me my flight was cancelled (due to the strike, which they didn't say), but MAYBE they could get me on an earlier flight. To even possibly get home I had to forgo all sleep, book a replacement train ticket at my own expense and then hope.

Fuck Lufthansa. Let them burn.

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10 Top Tips For PRs Considering Whether To Phone The Register

Jedit
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"There are some excellent PR people"

Indeed, some PR people are dead.

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Jedit
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"Those ones should be played along and cajoled"

That is not a good idea, because the scum who use automated messages require you to call them back if you want to speak to someone. This confirms your number as live and adds you to a list of numbers that will be called more often.

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Jedit
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" if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself"

It would appear that one person here is in advertising or marketing. That, or the rest have gone for the "advocating mass suicide of the PR industry" dollar. Very big dollar, that one.

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Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express

Jedit
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Alien

"A textbook example of an anti-climax."

Cutting to the beach was interesting, actually. The Doctor says he saved everyone, but not having seen it we don't know if he was telling the truth or not. He could have saved only Clara and Perkins, and lied to Clara about it so she wouldn't leave.

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Foxconn exec on iPhone 6: You're BENDING it WRONG

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Re: "You're BENDING it WRONG "

That's the point. Gou is saying that the iPhone 6 isn't bending at all, reality is just distorting around it. It's like watching Chemical Ali at work.

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Etsy security rule #1: Don't be a jerk to devs

Jedit
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Re: Bribe developers with tee-shorts

Why are you all so worried about T-shorts? When worn properly there's no arm in them.

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Mine Bitcoins with PENCIL and PAPER

Jedit
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"Here are some other fun challenges young Bitcoiners can do in their spare time!"

- Find a way to leave the house and meet girls!

Bitcoin never ceases to amaze me. So much intelligence and ingenuity poured into being colossally stupid.

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Indian MOM just LOVES it on Mars, tweets fave holiday snap

Jedit
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"Where are the $7000 hammers, the $1000 screws and bolts?"

They weren't needed, thanks to one weird trick discovered by a MOM. NASA hates her!

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NSFW: Click here, watch iPhone 6 being TORTURED

Jedit
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Boffin

I do not think these tests are realistic or accurate

How can they be accurate, when they're not conducted on a device in normal operating conditions? The tests should be repeated with the iPhones in their owners' pockets or hands.

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Apple iPhone 6: Looking good, slim. AW... your battery died

Jedit
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Black Helicopters

"The lengths Apple went to to keep us away from the new iPhones was amusing"

And is probably the real reason iPhones cost so much more. Hiring security ain't cheap, you know - they have to make it back somewhere.

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EE buys 58 Phones 4u stores for £2.5m after picking over carcass

Jedit
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"making space for something more useful"

Like payday loan companies and cheque cashing bureaux? Letting agents and bookies aren't half as bad as those bastards.

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Apple gives fanbois The Sweetest Thing: A delete button for that U2 album

Jedit
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"They should've retired after "All That You Can't Leave Behind"."

But surely the new Apple tool means you can leave it behind?

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Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched

Jedit
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Coat

It's been more than three days, Tim

He's not coming back.

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spɹɐʍʞɔɐB writing is spammers' new mail filter avoidance trick

Jedit
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Facepalm

"Who in their right mind is going to click on a link in something that they can't read?"

The point is that you can read it. The text is only in reverse in the code; the right-to-left display algorithm returns it to the correct orientation when it displays on your screen.

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Gaming supremo creates maps that turn real world into Sim City

Jedit
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Alien

"Turn the real world into Sim City"

I read that as "Sin City", and pictured Google Maps with Instagram filters turning the Street View into distorted three-colour images and showing where to find the prostitutes and hitmen.

Actually, that might be more useful. Get to it, programmers.

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Apple's ONE LESS THING: the iPod Classic disappears

Jedit
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"replace them when [...] their hard drives start making nasty sounds.

Surely there is no need to replace the entire device if this happens? Just delete the Katy Perry albums and the problem goes away by itself.

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Russia: SEXY LIZARDS which landed FROM SPACE are all DEAD

Jedit
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"This is Olga. She is shot-putting champion. Have nice month in orbit."

Do not be fearing, little Western man. Before date I shave leg, armpit *and* chest!

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Tim Cook: 'I'd call what's going on in fondleslabs a speed bump'

Jedit
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Black Helicopters

Charles Stross hates Word?

Well, now we know what the next exciting instalment of BOFH will be about, don't we?

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That 8TB Seagate MONSTER? It's HERE... (You'll have to squint, 'cos there are no specs)

Jedit
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Boffin

"I would put it in the Petabyte range at least"

Well, duh - that's why you put it all in a RAR file!

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Jedit
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Paris Hilton

Nobody has yet asked the important question

Does this drive have sufficient space to store allthepornontheinternet.rar?

(Paris, because she has sufficient space to store anything.)

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Your Bitcoins aren't money – but it is barter, so we'll tax it, ta ... says Australia's taxman

Jedit
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Headmaster

"you could always live like Lee from The Magnificent Seven"

Pedant: Lee was having no trouble spending his ill-gotten gains. He was being charged $20 a day to hole up in a shed.

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Roll up for El Reg's 3G/4G MONOPOLY DATA PUB CRAWL

Jedit
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"it's a wonder you didn't get a couple of bullets to the head."

Be patient, EE had to see the results before commissioning hitmen.

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Wetsuits, sunshine, bikini babes and a competitive streak: Epyx California Games

Jedit
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"These guys owe me a joystick"

No, they don't. In fact, Epyx sports games were best known for not being joystick thrashers. Their preferred control systems were rotational and/or rhythmic.

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