* Posts by Buzzword

563 posts • joined 30 Jun 2010

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How tech bosses manage their teams for fun and profit

Buzzword
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> "the one-hour interview [...] is still the norm"

Try telephone pre-screening. Saves a lot of time, particularly for the interviewees.

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Can your code survive crappy 2G? This open-source traffic controller will test it

Buzzword
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Speed vs security

Unfortunately one of the biggest bottlenecks on pre-3G speeds is the HTTPS handshake setup time. By the time client and server have agreed on encryption protocol and keys, you've already used several seconds.

It's not too bad for apps, but it is particularly problematic for secure websites which grab resources from many different sites: each host needs a new HTTPS handshake, and you can't have any HTTP or the browser complains about insecure content. Without 3G you really need a browser like Opera Mini which renders content remotely.

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ROBOT INVASION has already STARTED in HIPSTERLAND

Buzzword
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One and only

This can only work if there's just one robot, and preferably just for the manager. You can drive around the remote office, see who is in, see who is chatting to who, and cut in for a quick chat yourself. But once your employees have robots too, the system falls apart. Are they really at their desk, or is that just where they last parked their robot? How can you tell if they're chatting on the phone, if you can't see the handset glued to their ear? You can't even tell if they're actually working or just surfing Robot News Daily. Ultimately the damn thing is going to spend most of its time parked at its desk, so it's a waste of money.

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Swedish city demands £40,000 to repair teenage hacking spree

Buzzword
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Re: Still fair compared to other countries...

And where exactly does a 17 year old find £40,000 to pay the fine?

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UK.gov crackpots: Let's build vapourware-based sharing economy CITIES

Buzzword
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Sharing

> a UK "sharing city", shared transport, shared office space ...

That gives me an idea for a Bong! venture: Needlr, the needle-sharing app for sophisticated heroin users.

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Windows 10 build 10041: 99 bugs on the wall, fix a bug, add a feature, 114 bugs on the wall

Buzzword
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A/B testing

If scenario A is the classic Windows desktop, and scenario B is the Metro interface, I can guess which one will win...

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Apple's portable power podule patent promises paroxysms of fanboi joy

Buzzword
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Patent madness

I can't patent the fuel cell (already exists) and I can't patent the smartphone, but I can plug one into the other and suddenly it's patentable?

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Osbo: Choose a f*cking IoT fridge. Choose spirit-crushing driverless cars

Buzzword
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The Lads from Lagos will Like this

> Millions of individuals will have the information the Revenue needs automatically uploaded into new digital tax accounts.

I look forward to the emails from HMRC's outsourced office in Lagos telling me how to register for the new system.

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Hackers' delight? New Apple wrist-puter gives securobods the FEAR

Buzzword
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Productivity

"They present a huge opportunity for productivity..."

I notice he didn't provide any examples.

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Apple Watch: HOT WRIST ACTION plus slim $1299 MacBooks - and HBO TV

Buzzword
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"... Apple has no problem finding our phone number [...] when we're ABOUT TO write some bad news about them ..."

How on earth do they know you're about to write a bad story? Are they in cahoots with the NSA? Do you write all your stories on Apple computers which have a built-in backdoor to Cupertino and a keyword detector? ("fanboi" must set it off)

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Hillary Clinton draws flak for using personal email at State Dept

Buzzword
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According to one Mr E. Snowden, the U.S. federal government has access to both her work email and her private email. So she didn't really break any rules.

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Would you trust 'spyproof' mobes made in Putin's Russia?

Buzzword
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Re: Who do you fear most ?

It depends on who you are trying to hide from.

If you intend to commit crimes in one country (e.g. the USA), then it makes sense to buy a "spyproof" phone from a country which doesn't have a Five-Eyes style intelligence-sharing agreement with that country (e.g. Russia). Even if the Russians have hacked your phone, they won't tell the Americans what you're up to, for fear of divulging their intelligence capabilities.

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Bloody TECH GIANTS... all they do is WASTE investors' MONEY

Buzzword
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There are plenty of Android phones with full QWERTY keyboards. If you don't like any of them then there's you can get a BlackBerry with a keyboard and which can run Android apps. Have you tried searching online?

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Want a MEEELLION-year data storage? Use DNA of course

Buzzword
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Re: And once it's in a suitable carrier

That is (in part) the plot of Orphan Black.

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This one weird script continually crashes Android email

Buzzword
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Re: What's best in life?

It's nothing to do with the mobile providers. Do you expect the Highways Agency to service your car too?

What about people who have wifi-only tablets, no mobile provider involved? It's up to the manufacturer to provide support (or not). That's the risk you take when buying hardware made by a company with a poor reputation for support.

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Lenovo shipped lappies with man-in-the-middle ad/mal/bloatware

Buzzword
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Microsoft hardware

You wouldn't find this on an Apple computer, because a single company controls both the hardware and the software. Microsoft's reputation is being undermined by crap like this. They need to copy Apple and start shipping their own hardware.

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BBC: SOD the scientific consensus! Look OUT! MEGA TSUNAMI is coming

Buzzword
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What are the consequences of treating it as realistic? It's not global warming: we don't all have to cycle and knit our own shirts and recycle hemp nappies. In fact there's pretty much no way to defend from such an event, short of building Dutch-style dikes (levees) around the entire coastline. Which isn't going to happen.

Without consequences, there is no cause for concern. It's as harmless as the movie 2012 or War of the Worlds.

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Boffins now one step closer to male birth control pill

Buzzword
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Re: And the IT angle

If Bob suspects that Alice has been, umm, "communicating" with Charlie, then Bob can pop his pill and when Alice gets pregnant he can be certain it's not his.

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First HSBC, now the ENTIRE PUBLIC SECTOR dodges tax

Buzzword
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Re: Tax and government...

It's called eating your own dogfood. If a private company complains that the employment legislation is too onerous, or that another increase to employers' national insurance will mean layoffs, then the government can just stick their fingers in their ears and ignore it. But when the same message comes from your own side, from schools and hospitals and the civil service, then it's harder to ignore.

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Hey, NUDE CELEBS! Apple adds SWEET 2FA to iMessage, Facetime

Buzzword
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What's the second factor?

I only have one Apple product, an iPhone. What second factor am I supposed to use? An SMS sent to the same iPhone?

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Dutch government websites KO'd by 10-hour DDoS

Buzzword
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Photo library

Seriously, where are you getting these stock photos? They're awful!

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Dissidents and dealers rejoice! Droid app hides your stash in plain sight

Buzzword
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They said black was chosen for the app's UI

"Every time you try to operate one of these weird black controls, which are labeled in black on a black background, a little black light lights up black to let you know you've done it."

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Legalese and coding? Yup, it's the open-source FOSDEM shindig

Buzzword
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Re: Here's a question for your lawyers

Yikes! This sort of thing is why I haven't popped the question yet, despite months (even years) of decreasingly subtle hints.

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Google boffins PROVE security warnings don't ... LOOK! A funny cat!

Buzzword
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Re: I've seen and bypassed this message.

Can't they just detect intranet sites and adjust the message accordingly? If the address resolves to 10.*.*.* (or any of the private IP ranges) then make the security warning less intense. Now, where do I collect my cheque from Google?

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Bitter Lake: Know your enemy? Impossible, surely, when you don't know if the enemy exists

Buzzword
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It's a bit slow

Bitter Lake could have been condensed into less than half the runtime. There are too many scenes where the camera languishes over a subject, plinky-plonky music in the background, maybe some text on screen. For the SnapChat generation, it's unwatchable.

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Privacy alert: Outlook for iOS does security STUPIDLY, says dev

Buzzword
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Try Inbox Pro

iOS users could do worse than use the app called Inbox Pro, Outlook Edition. It's still pretty insecure, but at least it doesn't hoover up all your mail into the cloud.

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Does Big Tech hire white boys ahead of more skilled black people and/or women?

Buzzword
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Pinteresting employees aren't whiter than white

According to some stats I dredged up, Pinterest's workforce are 50% white and 42% Asian (there's no further breakdown into Indian, Chinese, Filipino, etc.). Those figures are remarkably close to the figures for San Francisco as a whole. Assuming the company mostly hires local workers, where is the problem?

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Spartan on Windows 7? Microsoft is 'watching demand'

Buzzword
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Stop

It's the app store, stupid

Forget the browser - it's the app store that needs back-porting to Windows 7. Look at Google - they don't own the operating system, yet they've managed to get their app store (Chrome) installed on millions of PCs worldwide. It even works on Windows XP. Microsoft haven't a clue about strategy.

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HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

Buzzword
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£200 a head

How the fuck does a tax computer cost £200 per taxpayer?!

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IBM to cut '118k jobs worldwide' – report claims

Buzzword
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Axe the axe!

Seriously, find another image to decorate your articles. That one has been overused to the point of cliché now.

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Facebook: Yo 'people'! Zap fake news on our giant ad farm, would'ja?

Buzzword
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Really?

"We’ve heard from people that they want to see fewer stories that are hoaxes..."

Are you sure, Zuck? Judging by how many people *like* and *share* these stories, it seems they very much do want to see them.

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Facebook poaches design talent from Toronto firm – fate of staff unknown

Buzzword
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Re: unclear if ...

Under NAFTA, most Canadians can already work in the USA without much difficulty. The fact that most choose not to implies that it's hardly equivalent to winning the lottery.

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Stop viewing Facebook at work says Facebook at work on Facebook at Work

Buzzword
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Linked Out?

It's just a clone of LinkedIn, surely?

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Lollipop licked: KitKat still king in Android land

Buzzword
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Not all Nexuses (Nexii?)

My Nexus 7 (2013) with 4G still hasn't received the upgrade. Only the Wifi-only model is on Lollipop.

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Dev put AWS keys on Github. Then BAD THINGS happened

Buzzword
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Re: What about pre-payment?

Because the last thing you want your customers to see is "Sorry, this site has been suspended because they didn't have enough credit in their account." People are wary enough about buying stuff on unknown websites, without having messages like that pop up.

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NoSQL pioneer to inject your database with ACID

Buzzword
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Vapourware

That's all very well, but I'll believe it when I see it.

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Acer to unveil a 15.6-INCH Chromebook WHOPPER at CES

Buzzword
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Re: No numpad?

Every 15" notebook? Not if it has an Apple logo on the back! Even the 17" MacBooks don't have a numpad.

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Magic streaming beans? Sure, have my cow - music biz

Buzzword
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Why do people keep buying CDs?

Because my car only has a CD player; and because I can afford to.

I have enough disposable income that it's just less faff to buy a CD. With any other method, I have to find blank CDs, fire up my dusty old computer that still has a CD burner, work out which illegal source of music hasn't been shut down this month, work out which illegal filesharing client software isn't pumped full of adware. Then I discover the ink in my CD-labelling pen has dried up, or the blank CDs themselves go wrong.

Yes, I could probably buy some MP3-playing gadget that I could wire into the car's CD player, although DIY isn't my forte. I suppose I could pay somebody at a garage to fit one. Or, much simpler, I could just keep buying CDs.

Then again, I'm talking about the kind of CDs you find near the tills in petrol stations. I don't think my purchases of Eddie Stobart's Keep On Truckin' are keeping the charts alive.

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El Reg's Giant Mobile Industry Roundup of 2014

Buzzword
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Tarred by their own brush

Android is also facing the other Windows fate: being judged by old versions of its own software. Microsoft did itself no favours by continuing to support XP into 2014: likewise, many Android users are stuck with Jelly Bean (or even Gingerbread) with no chance of future upgrades. When these buyers are shopping around for their next phone, they'll remember all the bugs in their current Android version. For all Apple's foibles, they've been incredibly good at supporting the latest OS on older hardware. As phone hardware matures and replacement cycles lengthen, Android's non-upgradeability* will increasingly tarnish its reputation.

(*Yes, tech-savvy Reg readers can install custom/hacked versions of the OS; but try getting your nan to do that.)

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El Reg tests portable breathalyzers: Getting drunk so you don't have to

Buzzword
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Re: Social drinking

Yeah, how drunk do you have to be before you want to share your blood alcohol level with the whole world? I can just see Google's advertising networks salivating over this: little AdSense boxes suggesting curry parlours at 11pm and detox clinics the morning after. I'd rather keep my drinking habits out of the hands of big advertisers, thank you very much.

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TalkTalk eyes up Blinkbox for advanced FOURPLAY – report

Buzzword
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Tax advantages

There can be tax advantages to buying up a company which has a (hopefully temporary) large loss on its books.

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Euro iTunes customers get 14 DAY refund option

Buzzword
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Free movie rental!

What's stopping me from "buying" a film on iTunes, watching it a few times, then taking it back to the shop for a refund?

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Gmail falls over after hitting 'Great Firewall of China' – report

Buzzword
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Protectionism

There's more than a hint of old-fashioned protectionism. We know that blocking imports of physical goods favours domestic producers. Similarly, blocking "imports" of online services also favours domestic companies. With the added benefit of being able to spy on them more easily.

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Hipsters ahoy! Top Ten BOARD games for festive family fun

Buzzword
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Re: £499?

"Spare cash" is part of the definition of hipster. They aren't your granddad's hippies: these guys all have jobs, hence at least some spare cash.

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Google Cloud gets 'snappy' with Ubuntu Core support

Buzzword
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App Store inception

So on one level we have the Docker Hub, a sort-of App Store (TM) for Docker. In that store you can download Ubuntu Core, in which you'll find Snappy, another App Store. In Snappy, you can download Docker.

It's turtles all the way down.

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Parallels to adopt Docker as native app format in Cloud Server

Buzzword
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Re: Docker flocker schmocker

I'm inclined to agree with Gordon 10. Looking through the Docker Hub, the most popular "apps" are Linux distros; ubiquitous server apps such as Apache, MySQL, WordPress; or languages such as Python, Ruby, Rails, PHP, Java, and Mono. Altogether these are more correctly described as platforms: they certainly aren't business apps that ordinary users would recognise. I suppose using a Docker image is a bit quicker than setting up a new virtual server and running apt-get, but it's not a huge difference.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Buzzword
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Mobile

I know there's m.theregister.co.uk for mobile, but it would be nice if the main site would auto-scale for narrow screens.

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Car-crash IT: HUGE write-off for Universal Credit - PAC

Buzzword
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Re: Pretty good for public sector IT

Jane is on a zero-hours contract. Some weeks she works a full 40 hours a week; other weeks she works hardly any hours. Please write a computer system that adjusts her benefits every week to top up what she earns. Delays in payment are not allowed - she's struggling to get by as it is, so you can't leave her without money (whether wages or benefits) in any given week. If successful, send the £2bn invoice to Her Majesty's government.

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Buzzword
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Re: Pretty good for public sector IT

No, you can't just give everyone £100 a week.

Different people are entitled to different benefits. A young single unemployed male living with his parents gets the basic Job Seekers' Allowance; a partially-disabled widow working part-time and living with her sister who also cares for her & three kids will get a very different set of benefits.

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Skinny Ubuntu Linux 'Snapped' up by fat Microsoft cloud

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Still too big

I remember fondly the days when a full OS could be booted from a single floppy disk. Where does the extra 109MB go? Is it all networking and multi-tasking?

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