NEWS : Major Corporates Update Phone Systems

In news today, major corporate operations globally have amended their call trees to introduce a new unique RANDOMISER into the system to frustrate people trying to bypass in-tree advertising.

What doesn't help with Adobe..

Is their refusal to release a corporate level distribution platform like Microsoft's WSUS.

I have 250 users in London (alone) and I don't want 250 of them running an update on Flash, Shockwave and Adobe Reader every time a patch comes out.

If Adobe actually stopped mucking around and released a full domain integrated, O/S aware corporate hub then I'd be happy.

That and of course I don't want CHROME or MCAFEE bundled with my updates.

Personally if I could ban FLASH from my environment I would, but too many sites still demand it; and shockwave gets used in corporate training platforms still.

/dev/nul .. oh no please no ..

I had this once. Long long ago, some joker had pointed a SunOS system do backup to /dev/nul

Getting a callout to restore a clients backup, only to find this in place was a facepalm moment.

And this is why

This kind of carnivore concoction makes me realise.

1... I'm damn happy to be a vegetarian

2.... given people think up these receipes, who the heck has eaten the "good" (and I use that word advisedly) bits of the animal and left some poor sod with these "trimmings".

cue ST reference

OMG its the Galactic Barrier !

Sneaks in with ..

... two rashers of Quorn based bacon substitute, covers it in HP Brown Sauce and slaps it in a large white lightly floured bun.

Runs for it.

Opt-In for household level ..

Simple solution.

> Taking up an Internet Connection

ISP "Do you have people under the age of 16 in your household?"

Parent "Yes"

ISP "no-pr0n for you then"

Parent "oh .. urm ..well actually I'd like to watch it sometimes"

ISP "but you have kidz, and you ticked the survey 5 years ago about wanting to prevent kidz watching pr0n".

Parent "but I'll keep the kidz of the computer"

ISP "laughter down phone line".

Parent "sigh .. ok no pr0n please".

ISP "serves you right you interfering busy body".

Its a MMORPG !

So what are the users saying "we bought this online dungeon game and we're complaining because its not playable offline" ?

If people are not capable of reading the SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS or checking on the requirements before purchase OR asking the retailler, then its their fault.

Of course in the modern "oh I don't like it .. lets lawyer-up and sue" is fairly typical now.

Pricing

Maybe if Apple grasped the concept that adding GBP£100 to cover the cost of the "allegedly but its not" 4G slot was moneyraking and reduced their prices overall to match the competition they'd sell more slabs.

A US iPad3 WIFI+Cellular 16GB costs USD 629

same item in UK costs GBP 499 equiv USD 722.

So apple, who sets pricing policy is gouging the UK by nearly USD $100 per unit.

You want us to buy the tech, then play fair on the pricing.

Please click on an ad ... please give us $

in other words in order to keep our share price up and keep us nice and wealthy will you please waste your bandwidth clicking on things that you have little or no interest in, that will inevitably result in your FB profile being "sterotyped" to deposit more ads at you.

watch me NOT care.

BTDTBTTS

For those of you who don't know

BTDTBTTS = been there, done that, bought the T-shirt,

My Expense Claim

Given the Government and the Local Government send me loads of bits of paper, can I buy a nice new fondleslab and then give my MP an expenses claim ?

NO? .. then why should the gov bods be able to claim their's back ?

Corporate Level Deployment

If Adobe really cared about update distribution, they would provide a full localised server distribution system for their updates and versions that corporates could work with.

So instead of having 300 workstations hitting my internet feed, I have ONE server pulling the updates and then pumping them to the workstations.

Come on Adobe .. look at WSUS and get sensible on this.

1130n review details WRONG.

Your reviewer has his wires (or should that be ports) crossed.

The model description is the 1130n which has USB and ETHERNET.

The plain 1130 has only USB.

So either the model name reviewed is wrong, or the reviwer wasn't looking at the ports.

The unit doesn't have a FLIP OPEN custom feed like the Samsung 2250, it has a slide feeder like the 2130.

Setup .. horrific

I have just spent the better part of two working days trying to get a Curve 8900 on Blackberry OS 4.x to speak with a Playbook.

Aside from having to upgrade the device to B/OS 5.x, then spending hours with the wretched BB not wanting to install AppWorld via the Blackberry Desktop - which turns out to be a problem with some varaints of v5, only solved by repeated attempts to download it "over the air".

Then having to hammer away at the machine to install the "BRIDGE" on the 8900, which then prompts for the installation of a "identity update" on the 8900. That only appears to work over WIFI.

Finally the "oh so simple" BB-to-PB pairing took over a half-dozen attempts with using the "QR code" option.

The PB's "lecture" on how to do the "swipe up / swipe down" from the border needs a BYPASS option as its infuriating to have to do this on one machine .. let alone repeatedly, and doing it for a corporate rollout will give me RSI.

The system seems to have a dual-set of icons for "personal accounts" and "bridge mail/calendar etc" and i have yet to find a way to DISABLE the personal accounts, which hog the top 1/3rd of the icon panel.

Personally I'd rather beat myself over the head with an iPad than issue one of these things.

big red button

no .. not that one .. that makes the cappuchino

yet another legal decision without technical knowledge

Just how does the High Court expect to be able to make this stick?

Sites like "the wayback machine" at www.archive.org make the judgement pointless.

Storage

Lets hope they store the info on a non-degrading hardcopy somewhere.

In fact lets hope they store the info in Multiple Locations in Multiple Written Languages and have a primer to teach the pre-industrials how to make the basic materials required.

Because lets face it .. starting the guide with "the next product requires steel" when the natives are barely in the bronze age is going to be hilarious.

Go for it!

I know one group of people who will be rubbing their corporate hands in glee at this kind of concept. The storage manufacturers.

you must store details of all internet traffic.

just how much is that going to require? how many TB of data / hour.

then watch the MPs try to exclude themselves from the auditing and tracking process of course.

Enhanced Probe or Space Alien Gunnery Target?

So .. what are we ceeding on our decendants?

- A super trancendentally evolving probe that returns to us in a few centuries to find us still punting bits of junk into low orbit, at which point it scans us and disappears into some higher dimensional state?

- A bit of interstellar garbage for some space alien to take a pot-shot at

- A lure that will bring untold woe when brain-sucking aliens follow its helpful "come see us soon" information plaque.

Coober Pedy

I see Coober Pedy got a mention. A sizeable percentage of the UK population knows about Coober Pedy.

WBC Banned in UK

We don't have to worry about the Westboro BC causing this type of problem in the UK

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/7898972.stm

possibly what the UBS IT bods are thinking right now

with apologies to Fight Club

Look, the people you are trying to reduce the salary of, are the people you depend on: we manage your servers, we de-spam your emails, we guard your data, we run your PABX, we guard your systems while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.

nearly everyone .. i don't think so

A bit of SPIN on the posting title.

Population of Korea is approx 48Million (2010 estimate)

Assuming the data theft was the stated 35m then this is about 73%.

Of course "Three Quarters of all Koreans hacked" isn't quite as punchy as "nearly everyone".

Hello .. Security .. Passwords ?

My iPhone has a pincode

My home server has a password

My home workstation has a password

My other half does NOT know them.

Yes there's a letter in the safe should it come down to "emergency circumstances" but the envelope is one of the "sealed - rip to open" type so its peek-proof.

My other half would be just as narked off with me peeking at his accounts as I would be if I caught him peeking at mine.

you sell something .. you pay taxes

I fail to see why people are arguing about paying taxes.

If you sell something and the state says there is a sales tax then you pay the tax.

Its the STATE's duty to enforce the failure to pay the tax.

What California is trying to do is get AMAZON to handle the processing of the taxation when they are acting as a "shopfront" for other retailers (their associates).

As any company is under a duty of care to maximise profits (legally) then if California says "you must do the tax gathering work for our state" then Amazon has to look at this and say:

"a) we shoulder the cost of this extra processing in people & computer time / power & equipment costs)"

OR

"b) we get out of the market where we are going to be forced to expend cost for no financial benefit"

The duty of care clearly points to option B) as being the valid method to follow.

No company is going to do work for another organisation without a benefit in some form.

back to the STONE AGE

And no I'm not talking about the policies of the politicians, I'm talking about Palin's insane need to distribute the records only in paper format. several thousand pages of paper.

http://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/green-science/question16.htm

Gives about 80,000 pages of paper / tree

The dump of records is just over 24,000 pages. So every 3.333 copies eats a tree.

NOW THATS ENVIRONMENTALLY UNFRIENDLY.

Simple Solution

.. gay male jury.

They should ask her brother

Its young James they should be speaking to.

Given the pictures circulating widely on the net of him in various states of dress and undress.

He has recently taken to asking sites to remove them. Best of luck there laddie. Once its on the net, its there to stay.

Entry #2 Holodeck

If you're going to write about Star Trek then at least have your writes check what they type.

#2 HOLODECK refers to the SECURITY protocols.

Its SAFETY PROTOCOLS.

Let him try ....

.. travelling on foot / riding / sailing from the Vatican to the UK.

then travelling through the UK on foot /riding and standing in a large field and preaching to the masses without the aid of any sound systems.

THEN he can start bitching about techology.

Until then can the god-squad leader in chief please STFU.

TV Miniseries

Oh .. another chance to watch Rock Hudson be a good dad and husband on screen.

Reasonable Time ?

@Neoc

Well I suppose if you're in Europe and are an Adword customer then having the business there is going to make it reasonable for you.

What you mean is that is unreasonable if you're more than 8 hours from UTC.

is an "IP Phone" the same as an "iPhone" ?

The patent refers heavily to the concept of an IP Phone.

Question - is this the same as their legal target of "iPhone" / etc.

1000 years old ??? someone can't do subtraction

Current Year = 2011

Year of the Invasion = 1066

Difference 945 years.

IN fact the item (its not strictly a tapestry) was likely commissioned several YEARS after the event so its closer to 935-940 years old.

[Insert Deity of Choice] forbid

... that we should actually remember / learn how to read a map.

I've seen people walking down streets in London, Blackberry in hand with the GPS doing the "you are X and moving in -> that direction" trick, and then wrap themselves round signposts.

Actually its quite enjoyable watching them do that.

{Paris - because she's got some flunky to GPS for her}

International Standard Areas "the Belgium"

Oh come on people, everyone knows that the "Belgium" is the standard comparative area.

Taking the area of

China at 9,596,961 km^2

Belgium at 30,528 km^2

we get a ratio of 314.365

Therefore if the layer of books is 13 deep across China it would be 4086.75 deep over Belgium.

Now the next question is how many standard trade paperbacks does it take to fill

a) the London Double Decker Bus

b) an Olympic Sized Swimming Pool