Feeds

* Posts by Dogbyte

73 posts • joined 30 May 2007

Page:

Bucket? Check. Toilet plunger? Check. El Reg's 50 years of Doctor Who

Dogbyte

Re: Only 11 actors?

"No, that was made up by Danny Baker"

Made up yes, but by Stuart Maconie when he worked for the NME.

1
0

CLIMATE CHANGE made sea levels FALL in 2010 and 2011

Dogbyte
Joke

Is this the start of...

Global Drying?

3
1

RIP Ceefax: Digital switchover kills off last teletext service

Dogbyte

Sad

I still miss Turner the Worm.

2
0

Oracle v Google could clear way for copyright on languages, APIs

Dogbyte

Re: Exceptional move from Oracle

Actually "loosing" is a word but it's usually only applied to fateful lightning from terrible swift swords.

6
0

Surprise! Facebook, Twitter still not THAT important for news

Dogbyte
Meh

Well... yes and no

I go to news sites for detailed information but these days it's very often Twitter that alerts me to the existence of a story in the first place.

2
3

Ebooks must stay fat with VAT, blame the EU, MPs told

Dogbyte

Let them eat cake

Indeed. Hence the fact that McVities went to court to prove that a Jaffa Cake is not a biscuit - and therefore not subject to VAT.

0
0

Watch crim crackdowns on live Plod blog

Dogbyte

@PCPlod

You'll never tweet me alive, copper!

0
0

Eurozone crisis: We're all dooomed! Here's why

Dogbyte
Unhappy

Well...

That was a cheery read.

3
0

BMW says 'i' aye to EV and hybrid car

Dogbyte

Think On The Buses

"i8 you, Butler!"

0
0
Dogbyte
Thumb Down

i8?

i8 = iHate? They might want to rethink that one.

0
1

Census threatens spies' cover

Dogbyte

Universal Exports

Isn't that who James Bond worked for?

I hardly think people will list: Employer: MI6, Occupation:Spy.

1
0

Bacon thief leaves rasher on door knob

Dogbyte
Coat

Even as we read this...

...police are preparing a hambush.

11
0

Yorks cops charge Segway rider under 1835 road law

Dogbyte
Thumb Down

Owner's name

@Anonymous John

"Offences include: "Not having the owner's name painted up [on the cart].

That could have been a nice little earner for the government as car owners have been breaking the law for the past century."

I think that's probably covered by having a registration number that's traceable to the owner. Though HGVs, I believe, are still required to display the owner's name.

0
0

iRiver Story to preface WHSmith entry into e-book biz

Dogbyte

£149 is non-WiFi

The non-WiFi Story is available for £149 in several places including WHSmith. £70 seems like a big premium just to add wireless connectivity.

0
0

BCS trustee threatens rebels with libel action

Dogbyte
Joke

Dad's Army of IT

"Your name vill also go on ze libel action. Vot is it?"

"Don't tell him, Pike!"

9
0

Brown creates one UK.gov website to rule them all

Dogbyte
Stop

Integration...

Means that a civil servant can leave all of your data on a train in one go rather than having to do it piecemeal.

3
0

BBC to cull radio stations, halve websites in painful biz review

Dogbyte
FAIL

Oh dear...

So much for the BBC Trust report praising 6 Music for its distinctiveness and musical credibility.

2
0

Alreet, Apple!

Dogbyte
Coat

Can't... resist...

Whey iPod, man!

2
0

Huffington Post retweets all of Twitter

Dogbyte
Coat

Your tweet's too big

Don't want you 'cos your tweet's too big

Mad at you 'cos your tweet's too big

Hates you 'cos your tweet's too big.

(with apologies to Fats Waller)

1
0

E-book readers attract unwanted VAT

Dogbyte
Thumb Down

Hmm...

Seems to be a typical lack of joined-up thinking. With no printing and transport costs ebooks are the greener option - something government=t ought to be encouraging.

0
0

Brown offers free laptops to deprived UK schoolkids

Dogbyte
Thumb Down

Call me cynical...

Providing a computer and broadband is very nice, but it's no substitute for providing a decent education - or decent parenting for that matter.

1
0

DVLA pledges investigation over Castrol spy posters

Dogbyte
Grenade

Re Scott McKenzie

By Scott Mckenzie Posted Monday 28th September 2009 11:39 GMT

...the details of my registration plate according to the DVLA are 3 years out of date

Then you're almost certainly breaking the law for failing to properly notify them of a change.

0
0

Florida cops cage 'Dracula'

Dogbyte
Joke

I guess...

police are now hunting his dentist.

0
0

Kettle car breaks speed record

Dogbyte
Happy

They must have been...

Chuffed!

0
0

Walfamstow Cockney cash machine daffy ducked

Dogbyte
Coat

I'm sorry but...

Would you Adam and Eve it?

Mine's the one with the pearly buttons on the back...

0
0

Tourist magnet blows off Speedo-wearing men

Dogbyte
Big Brother

Vive la difference

Interesting. I seem to recall not so long ago the French banning shorts from pools and insisting on snugger garments, citing the hygiene grounds that you might have worn the shorts all day.

0
0

Tattooed Swedish devil girls sexually molest cyclist

Dogbyte
Joke

Attack of the...

Phantom Fondlers?

0
0

No Dr No rights for Bond owners

Dogbyte
Joke

As Harry Enfield might put it...

Oi, No, no! Oh no, No. No, no!

0
0

Disney punts hetero luuurv to wide-eyed kiddies

Dogbyte
Coat

Which means...

The real world has gays but Walt disnae?

0
0

F1 waves goodbye to KERS

Dogbyte
Coat

That didn't last long

You could almost say it was KERSed.

The fireproof one with the sponsor logos, thanks.

0
0

Sikh coppers request bulletproof turbans

Dogbyte
Thumb Up

Lateral thinking

Why mess about developing bulletproof turbans? Just make a bigger helmet so they can wear it on top!

0
0

Microsoft's Live Search to morph into Bing?

Dogbyte
Joke

The road to Google

I can't see "Binging" someone passing into to language in quite the same way as "Googling" them has.

On the other hand, lots of jokes for the generation old enough to remember Bing Crosby: "Gone phishing..."

0
0

BBC botnet investigation turns hacks into hackers

Dogbyte
Unhappy

Wot?

No mention of wasting the licence fee?

0
0

UK cops' road accident reporting going paperless

Dogbyte
Stop

So...

...this will speed things up and stop them closing the roads for hours to gather "crime scene" data after an accident?

No, thought not.

0
0

Amazon intros early VAT cut

Dogbyte
Coat

Call me cynical...

But if they didn't do this nobody would buy anything until Monday.

Mine's the one with the firmly closed wallet in the pocket.

0
0

David Tennant quits Who

Dogbyte

Ricky Tomlinson

"Daleks my arse!"

(Though Eddie Izzard would be good too)

0
0

UK Govt to spend £100m on three-city electric car trial

Dogbyte
Thumb Down

Hot air

Seems a bit of a strange policy when we're about to lose a big chunk of our generating capacity due to old nuclear and coal stations going off line. How many windmills does it take to power a car for 30 miles?

0
0

Harvey Keitel to experience Life on Mars

Dogbyte
Thumb Down

They'll ruin it

Can you see the Americans allowing lines like, "Slower than a spastic in a magnet factory"?

0
0

Miliband the Younger becomes Green Energy minister

Dogbyte

Pssst...

Wanna buy a UPS?

0
0

Council IT provider's staff exposed back-room operations

Dogbyte
Coat

As the old joke has it...

Is this the right way to Oldham?

The dirty mac, please.

0
0

Bill Gates exposed as closet Yorkshireman

Dogbyte
Gates Halo

Windows? Luxury!

When I were a lad we had to get up at four in the morning, solder all the connections on t'motherboard with a two-pound gas iron, write us own operating system and then do a fourteen hour shift down t'pit.

They don't know they're born today.

0
0

Nike pulls Air Stab trainers

Dogbyte
Coat

Surely...

an Air Stab is much safer than a Knife Stab?

The one with the kevlar lining please.

0
0

Teapot backdoor probed by German telescope boffins

Dogbyte

Bad news for tinfoil hat wearers

Then again they'd probably have the blinds closed...

0
0

Congestion Charge offers online tool for ANPR cam dodgers

Dogbyte

There are other ways

This isn't unique to TfL, you can look up registration numbers and get vehicle details on other sites too, eBay Motors for example.

0
0

Futurists predict a world of IT fairy tales

Dogbyte

Futurologists?

Why do they never tell you about these jobs at school?

0
0

Portsmouth student peeled in potato laptop scam

Dogbyte
Coat

Maybe...

I'd have understood if it had been cheap as chips...

The greasy white one with the batter stains, please.

0
0

Man cuffed for lamppost sex outrage

Dogbyte
Coat

Presumably...

He can only do it with the light on?

1
0

Stopblair.eu tries to halt Tony's march on Brussels

Dogbyte

Loose end?

What happened to his sorting out Middle East peace?

0
0

US switches off the incandescent lightbulb

Dogbyte
Thumb Down

@Yet another...

Also the extra energy used by an incandescent bulb isn't 'wasted' it's given off as heat, so switching to CFL bulbs increases the amount of energy you use to run your space heating.

Add in the more complex manufacture and recycling and it's doubtful if there's any real saving at all.

0
0

BBC's iPlayer launches Christmas Day

Dogbyte
Thumb Up

Re:What's so special...

By contrast to the earlier comment, I've never been able to get 4oD to work properly, but the iPlayer beta is absolutely fine.

0
0

Page: