* Posts by JakeyC

172 publicly visible posts • joined 30 May 2007

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Hacker sinks Royal Navy website

JakeyC

Invalid HTML

Even the 'maintanance' page has an error:

<html>

<centre><img src="navysitedown.gif" alt=""/></centre>

<?html>

(that's the entire page)

Aside from the lack of a <body> and other WTFery, the closing tag has a '?' in it!

Spamhaus blocks fellow antispam outfit

JakeyC

Richard Cox? Anyone?

Very interesting and all, but do I have to take it upon myself to point out there's a barely disguised Dick Cox in the article?

I come to the comments section for juvenile puns and have been let down on this occasion. Please try harder in future.

Dick (fnarr) Cox (pfft).

Ryanair wins ihateryanair.co.uk because of £322 ad revenue

JakeyC
FAIL

Streisand Effect?

Well done on publicising your critics' site, Ryanair!

I'd never heard of this site until now, but I've just visited http://www.ihateryanair.org/ and have bookmarked it to read when I get home.

Cheers!

Youth jailed for not handing over encryption password

JakeyC

Maybe he's innocent...

...maybe he ain't. But 16 weeks for not handing over a password when you can lamp someone in the face without getting locked up for that time - if at all - is unnecessary.

Two questions -

1) How can they tell the length of the password?

2) If they know it's 50 chars, what makes them think they can 'crack' it?

ACS:Law's mocking of 4chan could cost it £500k

JakeyC
Pirate

Scum. Sub-human scum.

If only the ICO had enough teeth to just shut these cowboys down as of yesterday.

I hope every person they ever wrote to presses charges for:

- libel/defamation of character (accusing them of viewing hardcore porn with no evidence)

- fraud (pretending there's a 'lawsuit' that can be 'stopped' if they pay up)

- blackmail (we know where you live and what you've been watching. Pay up or else)

- multiple DPA breaches (just read the article)

- being dickheads of the highest order

Google shocks world with unthreaded Gmail

JakeyC
Badgers

@Diego

Hi Diego,

Can I be your first? I don't like mandatory conversation/threading. Let's meet!

I don't like having 10 insignificant replies to scroll past to get to the important one I know is there. They're initally collapsed and I can expand them at me leisure you say? I already know what I want, don't make me click once to enter the 'conversation', then again at random to try and expand the relevant portion of it.

If I know that the reply I was looking for with the important details got sent today, I don't want the past week's worth of crap to be shown at the same time when I click to view it.

In my experience, a little education of email users into the delights of Reply, Reply-all, Forward, CC and BCC go a long way to a self-regulating 'conversation' feature.

Love,

An Ex-Threaded Conversation user.

Vodafone secures email-flashing barn door

JakeyC
Pirate

Re: It's not rocket science

Actually, the details were exposed *before* any emails got sent.

It said something along the lines of "do you want us to send your password reminder to you@example.com?" There was a button to send the mail, or another to quit.

Just clicking the back button and repeating the process got you people's details without sending them any emails to arouse suspicion.

Not that I used it. At all.

Harrow flicks pirate thrown in slammer

JakeyC
Thumb Up

Phil Clapp

"The UK’s Cinema Exhibitors’ Association’s boss Phil Clapp applauded the sentencing"

That bit of contrived nominative determinism made my day!

Mobile phones for minimalists

JakeyC

Almost...

This should get you halfway there...

http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/cellphone/8928/

Naturist club objects to erection of five storey tower block

JakeyC
Paris Hilton

Nothing to worry about

"might be tempted to spy on White House's nude ping pong tournaments, boules court and early morning skinny dipping sessions"

They really needn't worry - I'm yet to see an attractive naturist.

Would rather spend my time ogling a modestly-clothed pretty girl than seeing all that loose flesh on display, thanks!

Osborne plucks strange fruit from the loon tree

JakeyC

What's the betting...

That someone is able to buy a govt. computer from their auction site that contains a full database, after they fail to erase the hard drive?!

For Sale: 1 ContactPoint database, barely used.

AAA+++++++ Great data leak, would use again!!!1!11!eleven!!

Cops cuff armed white supremacist in banana costume

JakeyC

Randy Pieper

Is a 'randy peeper' really the best officer to be arresting a flasher?

ID card astroturf - No2ID beats the truth out of IPS

JakeyC
Unhappy

I want to be surprised

...but I'm not.

I'm not surprised that the government has been less than honest, and that makes me sad.

I want revelations like this to shock me, but they don't.

I've become desensitised to lies from people in power and now only get astounded on the rare occasion that one of them tells the truth. Sad times.

JakeyC
Grenade

A Troll? Really?

You're either a troll or a government employee.

Either way, please get out now.

EU climate exchange website hit by green-hat hacker

JakeyC

Climax Exchange

"Netcraft reports the Climax Exchange website runs Apache on Linux"

That's good to know, but can we stay on the climate topic please?

I note ClimaxExchange.com is available to register - a sort of orgasmic freecycle, perhaps?

Cross-dresser shags mutt at historic castle

JakeyC

Provocatively named Christie Brinkley

ex-One Show presenter taken to Florida vet's?

Perv scanner code of practice still a balls-up

JakeyC

Requesting the sex of the operator

So, if I can request that my scanned image is seen my a member of the same sex, can I also insist that it is viewed by a member of the *opposite* sex?

German webcam hack perv suspect cuffed

JakeyC

Girls who noticed their machines were behaving erratically

How many young girls actually

a) detected "their computer behaving erratically"

and then subsequently

b) thought "I'd better contact Thomas Floß, the data protection advisor"?

iPhone 4: Perfect for everyone, except humans

JakeyC
Jobs Horns

Quote from BBC News

"The problem is thought to be particularly acute for left-handed owners who naturally touch the phone in the sensitive area."

Dirty, dirty lefties. If you will insist on inappropriate touching, you don't deserve a phone signal.

Turkish prez tw*ts YouTube ban

JakeyC

Let's go, Gays!

Woo! Yeah! C'mon!

Umm... what happens now?

Identity & Passport Service in suicide bid?

JakeyC
Pint

Cautiously Optimistic

That this is announced within hours is hugely encouraging. Am reluctant to celebrate until the beast is truly killed off, but looks like I may be able to renew my passport and travel abroad in future after all.

I'll drink to that!

Police National Database will have audit trail

JakeyC

You mean it doesn't already?

There's no audit trail at the moment?! WHAAAT?

Even an internal web app I wrote for logging employee attendance has an audit trail!

This country.

Dell's order status website wobbles at knees

JakeyC

Glaswegian-based

"said Glaswegian-based Bocco"

so this 'Bocco' is some sort of parasite that lives on Scotchmen is it?!

Chip and PIN security busted

JakeyC

Stop allowing signatures

As long as you're still allowed to verify by signature, the system will remain weak regardless of the tech.

Seriously, how hard can it be to remember a 4-digit number? If you're incapable of doing that then surely you're not capable of managing your money either!

Employers to take fingerprints for CRB checks

JakeyC
Big Brother

Employment Agencies taking my prints?!

OK, it's time for me to Google 'How to remove your fingerprints' (via Tor, naturally).

How can an employment agency be trusted to take fingerprints? They're notoriously bad at handling data as it is and having countless bods coming through the system each day to be processed in the same way again and again, it's not exactly the most conducive environment for handling sensitive data.

"they will be forwarded to either a police force or one central police force" - yeah, I can imagine it now:

FROM: smalltime_job_agency@hotmail.com

TO: all_staff@uk.gov

SUBJECT: Heres the fngr prts u asked 4

ATTACHMENTS: Prints.jpg

Nationwide Freeview tune-up takes place today

JakeyC

UK (con)Quest

I immediately thought of Alan Partridge and UK Conquest when I read that!

A military-based quiz show called Skirmish on the cable station UK Conquest with twice as many viewers as the population of Hemsby wouldn't be out of place with the amount of 3rd-rate crap on TV these days!

Trade body loses laptop full of driving conviction data

JakeyC
Megaphone

No later than next March?

I'm sorry, no later than next MARCH?!?!

Not "oops, we lost some data, we'll encrypt the laptops next week", but "yeah, yeah, give us half a year and we'll sort it. Honest."

OK, so some retard forgot to encrypt it in the first place - mistakes happen. Now they know about it, just do it on Monday! Not sometime before March!

This country.

Canadian uni catches the rebranding sniffles

JakeyC

Partridge?

I loved that phrase you used - 'Revolution not Evolution'.

No it was the opposite: 'Evolution not Revolution'.

Well you know, whatever. Because that is me. I evolve, but I don't... revolve. Or vice-versa.

BT abandons Phorm

JakeyC
Terminator

Great Success!

This is obviously great news, but until they have died and ceased to exist no one can afford to become complacent over the issue.

Terminator because Phorm=SkyNet.

Baffled-by-tech MPs expense IT support

JakeyC
Joke

What's the difference between a SCART lead?

One of its ends is both the same.

Gov considers website to teach tech skills

JakeyC

Not THAT silly really

Whatever next, a book to teach people to read?

If you're going to learn how to do something, you're going to need to do it at some point. As I read it, the website isn't meant to be what makes them go online, it's what teaches them how to use IT once they're on.

Tories, LibDems under election day cyberattack?

JakeyC

@AC tried to vote

What Tim said.

Hell, if you can't find an address on a polling card without the help of a huge sign, should you really be allowed to put a tick in a box unsupervised?

This country.

Beeb tech boss seeks to expand TV licence online

JakeyC
Unhappy

Unlicensing

"If you are consuming BBC services then you have to be a licence holder"

No, that's not how it should be!

Fine, pay for what you use or subscribe to a certain level of use but not a mandatory flat fee for every citizen who happens to be capable of seeing a BBC programme.

Replace 'BBC Services' in that statement with almost anything else to see how ridiculous and unfair this method of revenue gathering is:

"If you are consuming utility services then you have to be a licence holder" - no, I'll pay for the gas and 'leccy I use thanks.

"If you are consuming newspapers then you have to be a licence holder" no, I'll pay for the papers I actually read, not a flat fee just because I am able to read.

You get the idea...

BBC pumps 60 quid a head into Gaelic

JakeyC
Flame

Scottish 'variations'

Beyond the futile and poor-value attempts to 'promote' Gaelic (exactly what does it do so much better than English or German or French?), the decisions to show local Scottish variations in place of generally popular programmes make even less sense.

For example, rather than showing a documentary with broad appeal or perhaps a sports event such as snooker (what else does the BBC have these days), if there's a programme with a hint of Scottishness about it, BBC Scotland will slap that on instead despite the fact that if the 'variation' were to be shown purely on its merit as a programme, it'd have been axed.

Take River City. I dislike Eastenders as much as the next man, but are the Scots really so blinkered that they consider this pish to be better SIMPLY because it's not based in London? If it's so damn good, why's it not shown outside of Scotland. Because it's rubbish and is just there to fill the quotient of 'Scottish' programmes that's why.

Rant ends.

Perv Oz burglar pumps and dumps Jungle Jane

JakeyC

Superman?

He smashed through a wall?

No mention of a van or power tools, so can we assume either he's superman or the sex shop was erected (snigger) by The First Two Little Pigs Building Merchants Pty.?

Hands-free kits make drivers even more dangerous

JakeyC

Passive roll

Filled with submissive ham salad perhaps?

OK, that's lunch.

British pilots ramp up opposition to ID cards

JakeyC

No benefits, then

"Identity cards will directly benefit airside workers — not just by improving personnel security" - is that the same as personal security? Either way, you haven't said *how*. Just saying "it does" is not evidence, Mr. IPS spokesman.

"but also by speeding up pre-employment checks and increasing the efficiency of pass issuing arrangements, making it easier for these workers to take up their posts and move from one airside job to another"

...so that's NOT a benefit for the workers, because if they're already workers they don't need pre-employment checks, dumbass!

So, in summary, they are of no benefit whatsoever.

WoW accused of turning man's mind into 'living video game'

JakeyC

Vexatious Litigant?

Does America not have the concept of a vexatious litigant, i.e. someone who is known to start frivolous and unnecessary legal proceedings?

Mobile blocking tech for trains

JakeyC

Quiet AND WI-FI enabled?

The quiet carriage (when it is observed) is fantastic and makes the journey so much more pleasant. Any measures to prevent the ignorant shits who aren't capable of just turning their phone to silent and not answering it from being able to piss me off are welcome.

However, since the introduction of free WI-FI on NXEC it would be a shame to have to choose between sitting quietly and doing nothing or tying to go online surrounded by twattering chats.

BT pays compensation to MoD for faking performance figures

JakeyC

Feral Call Centre Monkeys

"certain BT staff involved in the activities of Kettering call centre have been released"

I have this image of herds of ape-like call centre workers scampering off into the suburbs of Kettering, screeching to one another as they communiate across streets.

They will be rounded up by the end of the day and retrained to sell timeshares. To each other.

BBC's TV detector vans to remain a state secret

JakeyC

It's what they don't tell you

The very fact that they are withholding the information indicates that

a) the myth of 'detector vans' is greater than the reality so they're in no rush to change that perception

and

b) any genuine ability to detect TVs in use is easily defeated when you know how it works, so they'll hope they can keep it quiet for as long as possible

It's the sign of an outdated organisation (TV Licensing) desperately clutching at what little revenue they still can before they realise it's just not going to work any more.

With mobile content, on-demand services and the like, the line between what they can and can't restrict to licence-payers is becoming increasingly blurred. There simply won't be enough licence inspectors to check up on everyone with a mobile, laptop, sky box etc.

Merchants and punters cry foul over Verified by Visa

JakeyC
Pirate

A glimpse of the future

Organisations such as Visa who promote their security systems as near-infallible and then refuse to believe genuine claims from victims on the grounds that its 'impossible' to be broken gives us a glimpse of the future ID Card fallout.

Obviously UK.gov won't cough to any 'holes' in the system so when (not if) the cards are cloned/forged/stolen by terrorists/pirates/chavs and the victim goes to the Govt. to complain, they'll be told they can't have had their ID stolen as the cards are totally secure.

Cue people being sectioned in secure units for believing that the ID card system could be fallible when everyone knows that's impossible. A bit like Sarah Connor when she insisted that Arnie and his ilk were on their way.

Da-dum dum-dadum

Da-dum dum-dadum

Da da daa

da da da

Da da daa

da da daaaaaa daa

da da daa

etc.

Ann Summers yanks chocolate willy spread

JakeyC

Precautionary withdrawal

A "precautionary withdrawal" (snarf snarf). So much innuendo, so little time.

Noel Edmonds defies BBC's jackbooted enforcers

JakeyC
Pirate

Data Protection and sex offenders

Firstly, since when was it acceptable to disclose details of whether an address is licensed or not? Surely a breah of DPA, no? Can I just phone up and ask whether my neighbour has a licence?

Secondly, I have to agree with the embearded one's principles here. Their entire approach appears to put the burden of proof on you to prove that you don't have a TV. The law, however puts it on them to prove that you DO.

Imagine if the DVLA sent out letters with bold red text stating that because you weren't on their list of licensed drivers, they suspect you of driving without a licence and you'll need to show them that you weren't out driving illegally.

Or how about "We can't find you on the register of Sex Offenders, therefore we believe you may be out molesting small children and need you to confirm that you weren't"...

My address has been "authorised for immediate investigation" and has been due for a "visit from one of our Enforcement Officers" for over five years now. I'm still waiting for the chap to pop round as promised.

Some VERY telling answers (and even more telling witheld ones) here :

http://www.bbc.co.uk/foi/docs/responses_tvlicence.shtml

BOFH: Back in the saddle

JakeyC
Thumb Up

“BT doesn't count!”

Ah, how true.

Chrome-fed Googasm bares tech pundit futility

JakeyC

"the Special Olympics of tech media"

An hilarious article, as funny as it is true.

UK punters scowl at webmail ad targeting

JakeyC

@Sarah Bee

Well, alright then. All is forgiven. Juggling Moderatrix duties with proof-reading (Punctuatrix? Grammatrix?) must be tricky.

The latte has been ordered. If it doesn't turn up, please call Starbucks.

Old timers rattle zimmers at 'Elderly Persons' sign

JakeyC
IT Angle

Construction workers also misrepresented

So, will the 'roadworks' sign - featuring a bloke with a shovel in a pile of Tarmac(R) now be altered to show a range of activities related to the construction industry in general? Because it's SUCH a stereotypical representation of what they do, it really is misleading*.

It's just supposed to be an icon, a symbol, an easily recognisable sign. Not a full graphical representation of the actual subject!

What do they want? Full-colour photos of genuine local pensioners? Will rural areas have the various 'animal-in-road' signs replaced by photos of the specific local breeds, posing in the road?

Bah.

*Not least because it suggests they spend time working.

Edinburgh Fringe box office system goes titsup

JakeyC

They were advertising the job...

They had a vacancy for a general DBA/Sys admin type role when I looked on Sunday.

It looks like they didn't find one in time...

UK citizens' portal exposes edit kit interface

JakeyC

@Sarah Bee

Ah, I see what you did there.

You made the latin - 'non-sequitur' - sound all French-like by changing it to 'nom-sequitur'. A cunning linguist indeed.

Or maybe it was a typo...

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