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* Posts by simlb

32 posts • joined 24 May 2010

Tornado-chasing stealth Batmobile set to invade killer vortices

simlb

Re: What is it with Americans

'It'll be fine unless a Trenco or a zwilnik's bomb gets under the leading edge...'

Well, you just cut in your 'Bergs and float away on the wind!

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Scam emails tell people they have cancer to trick them into installing a money-stealing Trojan

simlb
Thumb Up

Subtle, very subtle

I like the way this comment section currently has a sidebar advert featuring a picture of Pele, who just happened to be in advertorials for testicular cancer in the UK.

I'm impressed.

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The Vulture 2: What paintjob should we put on our soaraway spaceplane?

simlb
Go

Instant power!

Black or dark blue all over with a pair of white or silver parallel stripes from front to back.

Everyone knows that type of paint job gives a small Citroen or Ford Taansit van an extra 50BHP, so painting Vulture 2 in the same style is almost certain to get it ging supersonic!

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WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

simlb
Happy

MELTDOWN

Manually

Enabled

Lateral

Trajectory

Defect

Override

Wireless

Nodule

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simlb
Happy

WHORE

Worryingly

Hazardous

Overhead

Rocket

Ejector

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simlb
Happy

INCEST

Impending

Non

Compliance

Electronic

Stratodangle

Terminator

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simlb
Happy

FELLATIO

Fully

Electronic

Lohan

Logistical

Altitude

Termination

Insurance

Object

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simlb
Happy

ORGASM

Orbital

Recalcitrant

Globe

Advanced

Suspender

Manipulator

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simlb
Happy

HANDJOB

High

Altitude

Near

Disaster

Judicious

Orbital

Blowoff

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Beijing fanboi in coma after iPhone 4 shock treatment

simlb
Coat

"Apple couldn’t immediately be reached for comment"

Because they either didn't want to answer your call for fear of being electrocuted, or because their phone was on fire. Take your pick.

Mine's the one with the semaphore instructions in the pocket.

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Dead STEVE JOBS was a CROOK - Judge

simlb

'Texas Instruments marketing department had managed to cripple the 99/4a to the point it was almost unusable'

You mean putting faulty processor chips in them which would occasionally cause random reboots when you were trying to type in or run a program? Not really the marketing department was it?

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Bacon sarnies can kill: Official

simlb
WTF?

...and 'other causes of death'

Does that also include plane crashes and DIY accidents involving power tools?

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First rigid airship since the Hindenburg enters trials

simlb
WTF?

'rare and expensive helium'

Last time I checked, helium was the second most abundant element in the universe after hydrogen.

It's not really rare then, is it?

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17

Steve Bong's 3D printing special Xmas showcase

simlb
Pint

Do you mean the email confirmation of your Dominos pizza order, or the cold, inedible, circular piece of shit in a box someone turns up at your front door with 2-hours later?

Beer, because you'd have to be pissed to even consider ordering a Dominos pizza.

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Power to the people - if you can find a spare socket

simlb
Pint

Re: Odd, they can manage it in kitchens

"So how come the office designers can't manage it?"

Because a spare socket block to match the nice, new office desks from 'Dick Turpin Office Furniture' is usually priced at something completely insane like £184.39 + VAT. That is why.

Beer, because it's cheaper than socket blocks from an office furniture company!

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Subjects bestow Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 on Queen

simlb
Coat

Re: 'By Royal Appointment' ?

No, it would be a banana one...

Okay, I'm going.

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Man who put the manhood into the Speaking Clock dies

simlb
Coat

Didn't say how he went. Must have been a stroke then...

Mine's the one with the Accurist watch in the pocket.

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4

iPhone 5 is the 'most difficult, scratchy device Foxconn has ever made'

simlb
Joke

Run that by me again...

'The iPhone's new coating material makes it prone to scratches...'

So this time 'holding it wrong' will only scratch it?

That is all.

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Fans rap Apple's 'crap' Map app

simlb
Coffee/keyboard

Re: It's my understanding

@David Neil - 'recycled old Luftwaffe aerial shots'. That made me spit my coffee out! Nice one.

And the Luftwaffe did find Coventry right where we told them it was. At night. Nuff said.

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simlb
Trollface

Why the surprise?

So Apple remove a third-party app which works fine and replace it with their own version which is not fit for purpose and then everyone complains. Why are people complaining? This is not a new thing for Apple to do.

If you buy Apple, you buy into their walled garden and accept what they give you. Stop complaining and suck it up.

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Third of iPad owners want smaller slabs

simlb
Trollface

Horses for Courses

There is no right or wrong here as both size devices work for different situations.

And, if Apple do release a 7" tablet then some people will buy it regardless even if it costs more than a good-spec 10" Android tablet. That's their choice.

However, what happens when people have trouble hitting web links or buttons on the screen and Apple subsequently assert that they are 'touching the screen wrong'?

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Citi rubbishes Nasdaq compensation offer for Facebook IPOcalypse

simlb
Facepalm

Golden rule of gambling

Never bet more than you can affored to lose.

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Driving a car? There's an app for that

simlb
Paris Hilton

OK as a proof of concept...

But while it's connected can you still:

Make & receive a phone call?

Send & receive text messages?

Synchronise your emails?

Update Faceache/Twatter?

Surf the Web?

Play Angry Birds?

And what happens if the phone battery goes flat or you go in a tunnel or built-up area and lose the GPS signal? Will the car stop automatically or just keep going straight on and plough into a wall or queue of people at a bus stop?

Can't see this happening TBH.

Paris, because she can't drive a nail in wood either.

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Everything Everywhere to be Nothing Nowhere in rebrand

simlb

'Neverland'

That is all.

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UK judge hands Samsung win for being 'not as cool' as iPad

simlb
Coat

Re: Primark

"sold in outlets situated inbetween a Stella-stocked cash-and-carry and a KFC"

In Wigan it's in between KFC and MaccyD's (Google street view will confirm). Oh, the irony...

Mine's the one with the pockets full of sweets from Poundland across the road.

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Facebook! and! Yahoo! kiss! and! make! up! with! tasty! ad! juice!

simlb
Trollface

What? More Yahoo adverts???

Just how many more ads can Yahoo ram into their webpages and webmail?

Jusk asking.

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Brit anti-terror hotline hacker teen pleads guilty

simlb
Trollface

Re: ..said to have prevented legitimate callers..

"Caller: Well the TV guide says they'll be showing the sequel next week - is that a threat?"

Only if it's that paragon of misery called EastEnders...

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HP open sources WebOS TouchPad tablet GUI

simlb
FAIL

I am, and even as the alpha version it's better than WebOS.

FAIL, because HP had a golden opportunity and - apart from the Touchpad device itself - completely messed up everything else to do with it.

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Angry Birds in spaaaaace beamed to fandroids by NASA

simlb
Coat

Pigs In Spaaaaaaace

Ok, I'm going now.

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The Facebook test: Why social Big Data is important

simlb
Pint

Re: No, thanks.

Agreed. And having seen the vast amount of utter garbage and crap posted by a number of my work colleagues on Facebook, I'd shred their CV immediately and put their email address in the Junk Senders list.

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Why on Earth would you build a closed Android phone?

simlb
Linux

Re: Um ...

I think they meant to say "slick standard CyanogenMod feel"...

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