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* Posts by John Brown (no body)

1319 posts • joined 21 May 2010

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BOFH: Oh DO tell us what you think. *CLICK*

John Brown (no body)
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Consulting the users

Ah yes. A wide ranging consultation of all stakeholders and other interested parties.

99% want green. 1% want blue. You want blue. You get blue.

If anyone asks, you consulted and did what was requested by "many" stakeholders, being careful not to mention the words "most" or "majority" and very especially to never mention absolute numbers or percentages.

Cynical? Moi?

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Mounties always get their man: Heartbleed 'hacker', 19, CUFFED

John Brown (no body)
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Gimp

Re: Canadian Mounted Police - Ahhhh Due South.

"Surely that makes you the mount-er, not the mount-ee?"

...and so is my wife!

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Red-faced LOHAN team 'fesses up in blown SPEARS fuse fiasco

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Oh come on, it's not rocket science.

Ballocket science == it works

Rockoon science == something went wrong.

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LOHAN's Punch and Judy show: The big fat round-up

John Brown (no body)
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Re: But the most important question...

"Pretty good, and a friendly bunch too. On the SPB's list of recommended post-mission boozers."

Ah, good show. Tell 'em you're "journalists" and they'll get a "mention" followed by free beers all round for the SPB team eh?

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Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years

John Brown (no body)
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Re: And here was me thinking...

"What if one of these combinations does something 'odd' that you weren't expecting and couldn't reasonably have predicted?"

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'" - Isaac Asimov

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Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run

John Brown (no body)
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Flame

Re: Helium is *very* hard to seal systems against

"...hydrogen leak...leak detection is probably a pain in the arse"

I have a candle you may borrow. Always works for me!

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Want a free Bosch steam iron? You'll have to TALK TO THE DEAD

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Hmm...

"Hello? Is there anybody there?"

Hey, don't knock it....ermm....

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Reprieve for Weev: Court disowns AT&T hacker's conviction

John Brown (no body)
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Dag nab it! You beat me to it!

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ROBONAUT to find feet after Monday ISS supply mission

John Brown (no body)
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I always wondered why...

...only two arms. Yes, "humanoid" so as to use the same tools as the meatsacks, but why not give the robot 3 or 4 arms in the first place?

In effect, that's what the new "legs" are, of course, but why make the whole thing human shaped at all? Why not have four "shoulders", each with an arm?

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NSA denies it knew about and USED Heartbleed encryption flaw for TWO YEARS

John Brown (no body)
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HITS SHUT FAN?

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So you invent a wireless network using LEDs, what do you do next? Add solar panels. Boom

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Hi-Tech Heliograph.

"Neat in itself, but I remember the problems somebody had whenever he put a cuppa in front of his Apricot keyboard, blocking the line of sight between keyboard and computer."

Maybe he should have used the fibre link cable supplied free with every unit for those situations such as obstructed line-of-sight or bright sunshine. Or just read the instructions that came with it.

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Ancient Earth asteroid strike that dwarfed dinosaur killer still felt today

John Brown (no body)
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Re: So

"Are there any mass extinction events around this time that corroborate this?"

As someone else pointed out, we as a species don't seem to be very good with big numbers.

The margin of error in the estimate as to when this happened is four times longer than the time between now and the dinosaur extinction event.

Maybe readers here are simply too used to prefix multipliers. When did you last actually try to visualise a Gigabyte other than to whinge that it's not enough RAM never mind space on an SD card. :-)

To get a little perspective, this event occurred "only" about 3.5 Gigayears ago.

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Microsoft: We've got HUNDREDS of patents on Android tech

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Why permit the secrecy

"They're not taking anyone to court (like Apple), they're licensing. They're not refusing to license to anyone."

But would it not make more sense to at least publish a list of all these Android and Linux based patents? After all, they are supposed to protect their IP. Would it not be easier to protect if all the other manufacturers knew up front what MS were going on about so they could approach MS for a licensing deal instead of MS going after them or not use the IP in the first place?

Or maybe MS want manufacturers to infringe and so can "force" a licensing deal on more favourable terms by negotiating under the threat of a sueball. Likewise, once said manufacturer is in production, re-tooling to not infringe might be more costly than licensing.

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The... Windows... XPocalypse... is... NIGH

John Brown (no body)
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Re: I agree entirely...but Norton?

"they turned its icon from green to brown, and now it is red"

Yes. So those who can't or won't switch will get used to seeing a red shield icon due to EOL and won't notice if, for example, it's a warning that it didn't start/has stopped. Ditto the pop-up EOL warning training the users to click it off without reading it.

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'Yahoo! Breaks! Every! Mailing! List! In! The! World!' says email guru

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Bah!

"The question is: why the hell is this the norm these days?"

Because most, if not all, of their staff, devs etc are hired straight out of university and working at places like Yahoo is just like being at university because that's where they all came from so they want it be the same as university... (and around we go again)

They never grow up so every idea is "cool" or "awesome" and gets implemented without anyone ever looking at the potential downsides. It's a bastardisation of the "can do" attitude where they think the way to success is to deal with the problems when they occur instead of at least acknowledging that they might occur and being prepared for them before they happen.. Fire fighting instead of fire prevention.

Few of these people seem to have a grasp of the real world.

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Get your MOON GEAR: Auction to feature Space Race memorabilia

John Brown (no body)
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" I will just retain the fond memories of being allowed to stay up late as a seven-year old to see men step out onto the moon on a little black and white TV. Greatest event in my life until then."

<AOL>Me too!</AOL>

(Even down to the age, give a or take a few months)

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Amazon stuffs games into Fire TV box: Soz, rivals... WE don't need to make cash on hardware

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Is this why...

"They haven't made Amazon Instant Video available on the Roku in the UK when it is in the US?"

This is why I don't really like most of these devices. They limit consumer choice rather than, as they would have you believe from the marketing, "increase" consumer choice. Why? Because you have to keep buying more and more devices and subscribing to more and more services to get that choice.

Vertical integration is the worst thing to ever happen to the TV delivery market from a consumer point of view. Why can't I buy just one box and get everything I want from it? Albeit with subscriptions to particular "channels".

Game of Thrones is a good case in point. Many people want to watch it but it's not legally available to them. So now it's the most pirated TV show on the planet. But are the distributors doing anything to address the problem? Yes! They are sending the UK Police after the "pirates" instead of increasing their distribution channels.

They claim we in the UK get it "late" because "It is an extensive process requiring dubbing in multiple languages" according to a BBC article.

I guess the producers think we don't understand "american" over here and need it translating it our quaint, old fashioned version of "english" which we borrowed off them and basterdised.

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Too late, Blighty! Samsung boffins claim breakthrough graphene manufacturing success

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Did Samsung Actually INVENT Something? That's a change.

Samsung own quite a lot of original IP. But then you probably think Samsung only make phones, tablets and TVs. When did you last see an Apple bulldozer? Or an Apple oil tanker?

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John Brown (no body)
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make a better material, only for a rival to steal those discoveries at no cost."

Yes. So a patent on a new manufacturing process would be a valid and viable patent. Using the material in the same or similar way to an existing material, but just because it's stonger/more conductive/lighter/whatever, not so much.

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Organic food: Pricey, not particularly healthy, won't save you from cancer

John Brown (no body)
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Re: so NOT putting lots of chemicals in your body is NOT ok then?

"not all chemicals are bad for you."

I must admit to being partial to veg boiled in a mix of sodium chloride and dihydrogen monoxide. Or chips smothered in diluted acetic acid and sodium chloride. A bit of mono-sodium glutamate cooked into some foods seems ok too. My wife claims that C6H8O7 with some flavouring makes a refreshing drink as well as a decent all purpose household cleaning fluid.

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John Brown (no body)
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Re: Luxury item

"I suspect, although noone has absolute proof, that it all rather depends on the individual application of organic or non-organic farming."

It's also important to learn which "natural" chemicals such as copper sulphate are allowed to be used on "organic" crops by the Soil Assoc.

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Tamil Nadu's XP migration plan: Go Linux like a BOSS

John Brown (no body)
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Re: New era of malware?

"Predictable patching schedules are highly desirable...One of the major issues with using Linux is the vastly larger number of security patches that are released on a random schedule to be evaluated"

A couple of very good and pertinent points.

To answer them;

1. the users machines can easily be pointed at the organisations own patch server and no other, and locked down so only approved and locally tested patches will be made available to users, just like a good Windows sysadmin will do.

2. The "large" number of patches relate to the entire ecosystem, not just the OS. ie all the 10's of 1000's of apps as well as the OS and desktop environment. A very large proportion of those patches will be irrelevant to the organisation and any modern update application will only show those the users system can actually make use of. Note also that in some cases there will be multiple patches, eg the recent SSH patch set for each of the libraries, clients and servers where MS would bundle that all into a single patch file (possibly even with other, unrelated patches) so the actual count of patch files is not relevant or comparable in any meaningful way.

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John Brown (no body)
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Re: TheVogon

"http://sohcahtoa.org."

Thumbs up for the domain name. That brought back memories :-)

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HIDDEN OCEAN of LIVING SOUP found on Enceladus, moon of Saturn

John Brown (no body)
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Happy

Re: Nonsense headline

I thought maybe you might be new here and not quite au fait with the El Reg headlining guidlines but "251 posts • joined 18 Apr 2007" it appears you are either having a really, really bad day or are just a bit thick :-)

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Amazon sets FIRE to your living room in bid to shake up TV streaming

John Brown (no body)
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WTF?

Re: UK version?

"All Smart TVs need a smart phone or tablet to access all features easily."

See icon --------------->

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Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

John Brown (no body)
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Re: I guess it's official

"A university study (who the hell pays for this crap) "

It probably came out of the School of Social "Sciences" or whatever they call it there.

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Apple: You're a copycat! Samsung: This is really about Google, isn't it?

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Slide to unlock

"before that we all had to crawl under the locked door of the washroom stall."

...on a mobile device? Oh, yeah, portaloos, caravans etc :-)

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Want to see at night? Here comes the infrared CONTACT LENS

John Brown (no body)
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Re: More realistic...

"Hint, the average summer dress is quite transparent in the near IR band."

Yes, my first thought on reading the headline, before I even got to the story, was the camcorder (Sony?) a couple of years back that supposedly could film "through" clothes when used in nightvision mode during daylight (or something like that)

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Page through Page's page page-views: Google+ shows how many saw your profile

John Brown (no body)
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Facepalm

Web page counter

How...err....1980's

Have they patented it?

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NSA plans to FREE YOUR DATA with range of cloud services, analytics

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Oh come on...

"I prefer the old style April Fools articles that are just on the edge where they could almost be plausible."

Speaking of which, does anyone know how this years spaghetti harvest went?

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Microsoft: Let's be clear, WE won't read your email – but the cops will

John Brown (no body)
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FAIL

"An ex-Ford employee is believed to have leaked info - so Ford use a master to key to open all Fords in the UK and search through them for evidence ?"

Not sure why you got so many upvotes for a clearly wrong analogy. Ford DO NOT own those cars. Your analogy would be more akin to MS reading your locally stored emails in an Outlook mailbox. There's also no indication in the story that MS went trawling to find the bloggers mailbox. It's more likely they followed a trail.

Shit. I can't believe I've now posted three times in here to defend MS. That must be an indication of the level of fuckwittery being posted by "outraged" Hotmail users.

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John Brown (no body)
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Re: *sigh*

We seem to go through this whole process on a regular cycle.

Way back in the mists of time there were minor outcries when one or two people actually bothered to read the T&Cs of the like s of AOL and Geocities and suddenly realised that AOL and Geocities were pretty much claiming all rights over all data stored on their servers, including mail.

We've seen similar more recently with the likes of photos sharing sites and various "social media" sights making similar claims over user data including the use of photos of and owned by minors in publicty campagnes.

As has been stated so many times on these august pages, if the service is free, then the user is the resource for sale.

I'm not even sure anyone can claim an "expectation of privacy" since they ony have that expectation because they didn't read the T&Cs they agreed to when the signed up.

TANSTAAFL. You always pay, one way or another, just not always with cash.

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LOHAN preps Vulture 2 for hot vinyl wrap

John Brown (no body)
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Paris Hilton

Mmmmmm....Lohan wrapped in vinyl....

Type your comment here -- advanced HTML and hotlinks allowed.

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Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Something involving tea and queueing

"make enough tea and scones for everyone"

Game Of Scones?

(works best if you pronounce Scones in a posh namby pamby southern English accent)

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John Brown (no body)
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Trollface

Re: Some ideas

"you play as an SAS member."

That sounds like a small, short game with nothing to do.

Signed

The Paras.

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Hot, young under-25s: Lonely slab strokers who shun TV

John Brown (no body)
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Re: Format important

"I still think XBMC (running on a proper PC) wins hands down for watchability."

Same here, but RaspBMC on a Pi. Server in the attic with all our local media accessible to all devices in the house but it's rare to watch a TV show or film on anything other than the big TV and the PVR or RaspBMC.

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First pics: Comet-chaser Rosetta hurtles towards icy prey, camera in hand

John Brown (no body)
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Re: "...took more than an hour to download"

Without traffic management, your high speed sattylights will be crashing into each other. There is method in the madness.

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Facebook taps up NASA boffins to launch drone fleet, laser comms lab

John Brown (no body)
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Terminator

Re: Optic Fibre? Pah!

"AAGH MY EYES! MY EYES!.."

You were looking at it wrong. If you look in just the right way it can fix your cateracts while you surf the pr0n.

Something good might well come out of the think tank but I don't think it will be an autonomous, free flying mesh network.

Twatdangling 'Loons V Solar Drones. Armed with frikken' lasers. It won't end well.

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Microsoft frisks yet another Android gear maker for patent dosh

John Brown (no body)
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"Dell...will stop stocking Windows based devices altogether."

Isn't it on Dells roadmap to stop supplying PCs anyway? Aren't they re-inventing themselves as a services biz? Without PCs I'd think their licence puchasing power will drop considerably.

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Microsoft issues less-than-helpful tips to XP holdouts

John Brown (no body)
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"the ability to edit one's HOSTS file."

Probably not usefull for the target audience who need to be told not to visit "malicious websites" or open email attachments.

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Bulls hit city streets after alleged Samsung ad shoot hits the fan

John Brown (no body)
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"it's a serious animal cruelty issue:"

No it's not. It's a safety and procedures issue. Cruelty implies direct and deliberate action to cause harm to the animals. Unless, of course, the story missed out on telling us that it was the Animal Liberation Front wot dun it.

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Middle England's allotments become metric battlefield

John Brown (no body)
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Re: theodolites and GIS packages that work in medieval

Medieval? Surely you mean Tudor, of the 10 Pole variety?

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John Brown (no body)
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"who exactly are you expecting to "own up" to "making the decision"?"

That would be the person who made the decision in the last 12-24 months. If you RTFA you'll notice that the change occured between the last rent renewal notice and the current one which,, depending on the local rules followed will be every one or two years.

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John Brown (no body)
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Alert

Re: Metric is easy to do calculations in.

"conversions within the metric system are approximately just as difficult and error prone as converson between systems."

How many decimetres in a dekametre? :-)

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TV sales PLUMMET. But no one's prepared to say what we all know

John Brown (no body)
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Re: @ Truth4u

"halogen lights...because it has a dimmer."

Carefull with that. Halogens don't always play well with "standard" dimmers desiged with incandescents in mind. Especially if the load from the lamps is near the rated max.of the dimmer. It can get expensive, as I found out to my cost.

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John Brown (no body)
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Alien

Re: "Lightbulbs, nylon tights, razor blades, can all be made to last years or decades"

"Push it backwards for a couple of strokes against you leg."

No, no, no! You build a small pyramid to the same propotionsas the Great Pyramid with a small shelf 1/3rd up from the base right in the midlle and put your blade there overnight, every night. It will stay sharp for years. I read it on t'internet so it must be true.

Where's the tinfoil hat icon?

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Turkey's farcical Twitter ban leads to SPIKE in tweets

John Brown (no body)
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Facepalm

"the numbers they can use to SMS their tweets."

Ask any random flock of twitterers when they last sent a tweet by txt msg and most will look blankly at you.

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US saves self from Huawei spying by spying on Huawei spying

John Brown (no body)
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Joke

"It's so rich that it would easily make a Michelle Obama's "no (salt|sugar|fat)" list of verboten foodstuff."

I wonder how she feels about MSG? Huwaei and NSA probably know, but does Snowdon?

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