* Posts by Stumpy

117 posts • joined 20 May 2010

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Assange's WikiLeaks: Give generously this Xmas – for STATUE of our DEAR LEADER

Stumpy

I'd be more than happy to donate the rest of the outstanding amount if, and only if, they made the cast of Assange by actually dipping the man himself in boiling Bronze.

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1&1 goes titsup, blames lengthy outage on DDoS attack

Stumpy

So glad I dropped 1&1 last year for my hosting requirements.

I got so sick and tired of their hard sell tactics for their 'value added' services (like their website builder). Eventually jumped ship when after a particularly obnoxious sales drone called from the USA to try to sell me the services yet again, whom I politely informed that I was not interested. Anyhow, I then found on my next invoice a charge for 12 months pre-payment for the website builder. Took me a further 2 months to get all the charges reversed and them to eventually transfer my domains and close my accounts.

Now with Vidahost and have never been more satisfied with a hosting provider. (And I'm paying less for three years domain registration and hosting with them than I was paying 1&1 per quarter).

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WATCH Rosetta's Philae's SUCCESSFUL drop on Comet 67P

Stumpy

Re: Obligatory XKCD reference

Damn ... I now /really/ hope we find whales on there. :)

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FIRST for HUMANITY: Fridge-size PROBOT headed for COMET TOUCHDOWN

Stumpy

Re: Relativity

Because this is The Register. If you want serious, non-sensational journalism I suggest you check out The Sun, The People or The Mirror.

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HOT YOUNG STAR about to GIVE BIRTH, long range images show

Stumpy

You sure that's not just some close-up of a random intern's tie-dyed t-shirt?

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Poll: Yes, yes, texting while driving is bad but *ping* OH! Hey, GRAB THE WHEEL, will ya?

Stumpy

What? You only ride at 70 MPH?

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PEAK APPLE: iOS 8 is least popular Cupertino mobile OS in all of HUMAN HISTORY

Stumpy

Re: News?

Of course ... it's an article by Jasper. He doesn't do news....

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BOFH: We CAN do that with a Raspberry Pi, but think of the BODIES

Stumpy

"You could drag a body wrapped in an awkwardly rolled carpet across the foyer inside a minute," I say. "I know that for a fact!"

Priceless

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Just in case? Unverified 'supersize me' iPhone 6 pics in sneak leak peek

Stumpy

Re: I'm not convinced

If you look at the images, the screw holes referred to are internal - for pcb mounting I would guess, so this makes it entirely plausible [note that they may not even be screw holes, but simple locating posts instead...

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Call of Duty daddy considers launching own movie studio

Stumpy

Re: It can't be any worse than...

Doom

Mortal Kombat

etc etc

or can it?

Daikatana : The Movie ????

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The Register is HIRING technology hacks for the WORLD

Stumpy

Re: A tabloid journalist for El Reg with Fluency in English eh

... and of course, the more accurate description for todays Daily Mail would be 'vindictive, bile-filled hate rag'.

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The amazing .uk domain: Less .co and loads more whalesong

Stumpy

Where's the 'B' Ark when you need it?

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Canadian comet impact fingered for triggering prehistoric climate shift

Stumpy
Mushroom

Nuke 'em from orbit ....

.... it's the only way to be sure.

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Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

Stumpy

Made my Friday that has.

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Rate-my-boink app scores frisky fanbois, fangurlz' SCREAMS, VIBRATIONS

Stumpy
Megaphone

Stop that it's silly

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Ants have careers; you don't want them

Stumpy
Joke

Re: They Were Tired

No, that just happens when you join the army...

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Apple refreshes MacBook Pro range

Stumpy
Thumb Up

Re: “US sales tax”

Joseph of Cupertino is recognised variously as the patron saint of air travellers, pilots, astronauts, people with a mental handicap, test takers, and poor students.

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Competition crowdsources blisteringly-fast software

Stumpy
Happy

Re: The arrogance

You certainly shouldn't. Base them on the Grauniad instead. A much better class of sensationalist claptrap.

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Stumpy

Re: The arrogance

AceRimmer wrote: You'll also notice that what you quoted is a quote from the original article, not a quote from the scientist.

Aww, c'mon, this is the Reg. Never let logic and fact get in the way of a good sensationalist whinge...

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Rogue Squadron: Unit of X-wings Kickstarts in response to Death Star

Stumpy

but just how many Bothans will die to get them?

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El Reg contemplates the ultimate cuppa

Stumpy

Marks & Spencer Extra Strong teabags for me. Steeped in boiling water for between 1min30 and 2mins with a splash of skimmed milk.

Luvverly.

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Amazon patents digital resale market

Stumpy

I wonder what sort of knock-on effect granting this patent would have for the likes of Steam for example - especially in light of the current German court case pending regarding the resale of digital copies of games on the Steam platform...?

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Red supergiant Betelgeuse heads for SMACKDOWN with 'dust bar'

Stumpy

"Betelgeuse's outer arc will crash into it in just five thousand years and the red star itself will follow, around 12,500 years later"

... so not worth staying up late to watch then ...

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iPhone hangs on in US, Japan, but EVERYONE ELSE bought an Android

Stumpy
FAIL

“Apple’s continual improvement is thanks to both the iPhone 5 and older models attracting various customer groups," said Parlato, "from repeat Apple buyers, first time smartphone buyers and those coming from other smartphone brands”.

... so pretty much every group that bought a smartphone then?

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Mysterious Facebook product plumps up shares on Wall Street

Stumpy

My money is on them revealing mobile apps for Facebook that actually work...

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Stumpy
Joke

Re: Whatever the product, this will not entice me

"That's no pub. It's a wine bar"

(with apologies to the late Alec Guiness)

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Siri, will Chrome's new speech features kill you?

Stumpy

Whether or not it works better than Siri is irrelevant. Until voice activation can work with 100% accuracy 100% of the time for 100% of its users it will remain nothing more than a curiosity and a toy ... on any device or platform.

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Now Microsoft 'actively investigates' Surface slab jailbreak tool

Stumpy
Joke

It's obvious ...

Until someone actually went out and bought a Surface tablet they didn't have to worry. Now that they've actually *sold* one they're taking a much firmer line ...

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Potty-mouthed Watson supercomputer needed filth filter

Stumpy
Terminator

"answering one researcher's query with the less-than-scientific term "bullshit.""

... so it passed the Turing test then

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First pic of Ashton Kutcher as the great Steve 'jOBS'

Stumpy

Re: Annual remake?

Sure that shouldn't be iMax?

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Nintendo Wii U Review

Stumpy
FAIL

80% ???

From reading the review, it seems that there are many more negative points being raised than positive ones, so how on earth is this worth an 80% score?

From the review I'd have expected no more than 65%

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Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS'

Stumpy
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Would it be entered...

You owe me a new keyboard. Where do I send the invoice?

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Texan schoolgirl expelled for refusing to wear RFID tag

Stumpy
Holmes

Re: Magic Beans you say

Yep ... definitely am. Why, do you want a toke?

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Prime Minister on Twitter: Me and Obama, we're like THAT

Stumpy
Facepalm

Re: iFail using LOOSER

@Self-evidently: *ahem* G.W.Bush *cough*

... people in glass houses and all that ...

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Apple is granted a patent on the rectangle. No, really

Stumpy
Holmes

Re: Well...

Jim Booth wrote: "Is the US Patent Office ran by people who decide simply by rolling one of those yes no balls?"

Well, they're certainly rolling (and smoking by the looks of it) something ...

... can I have some?

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ALIEN DETECTION was SUPPRESSED by the BBC - top boffin

Stumpy
WTF?

And we pay our license fee because?

Fucking hell BBC ... get a grip!

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Microsoft: TypeScript isn't a JavaScript killer

Stumpy
Thumb Down

Maybe they should leave well alone.

I use JavaScript every single day in my job, and something about trying to shoehorn the language into a 'proper' application development language just strikes me as wrong.

Whilst I find it a very capable tool, it's purpose is, and has always been, to create small blocks of code that perform a single, simple function - not to develop a huge, full-on application consisting of thousands of lines of code. Surely we have much better languages already to achieve this, and as BlueGreen stated above, all this will do is further bloat the language and lead to more abuse of what it's original intended use.

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Paul Allen proposes new space launcher

Stumpy

And also...

... if you're going to go all that way to design a custom aircraft to act as a first stage lifter, why not just go the whole hog and design an orbital vehicle along similar lines...???

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Higgs boson hunters have god particle in their sights

Stumpy
Joke

... or as many collisions seen in precicely 24 hours of traffic around L'Arc de Triomphe.

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Stumpy
Coat

"I'm Sparticle"

"No, I'm Sparticle"

"I'm Sparticle, and so is my wife!"

... ok, ok ... I'm going...

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Using virtual particles to get real random numbers

Stumpy

Try here: http://www.idquantique.com/true-random-number-generator/products-overview.html

IIRC the RNG for ERNIE (the premium bond computer) is a physical RNG. The old version I saw used two drilled spinning disks that were at a large potential difference. The time between electrons jumping from one disc to the other (visible as arcing) was used to generate the random digits.

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San Diego woman strips to bikini to look for her chihuahua

Stumpy
Pint

@Alpha Tony.

Damn, I can only upvote your most insightful and humorous post once. Many beers for you instead sirrah.

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Apple one-day-only sale plans for Macs, iPads leaked to web

Stumpy
FAIL

You forgot to factor in R&D, software development, etc. etc. They're where the lions share of the cost comes into play.

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Swearing fine quashed as teens have heard it all before

Stumpy
Thumb Up

Indeed. The truncheon-fondlers should instead, just beat the living shit out of the little foul mouthed scrotes with aforementioned truncheons to teach them some manners.

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Modern Warfare 3 flogged on eBay for a grand

Stumpy
Trollface

Obvious troll is obvious.

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Profiteers cash in on Steve Jobs' signature glasses

Stumpy
FAIL

Crass.

that is all.

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Vatican mulls God particle, calls for appointment of antichrist

Stumpy
Devil

Oh please...

Raphael Bousso, from the University of California Berkeley, told the Catholic News Service that what should be a generally hostile universe might "appear rather carefully tuned to us at first sight".

"Naively it looks like somebody was playing with a lot of dials and turning them exactly to the right places to end up with this large, complex-rich set of phenomena that we see when we look out the window and that, from a scientist's point of view, is a very bizarre situation to be faced with," he said.

... or, you know, perhaps, just maybe ... the fact that the Universe has been around for many billions of years before us and we evolved within it's confines means that rather than it being tuned just especially for US more that we're especially attuned to IT. After all, if our environment were completely hostile to us, we wouldn't have even got out of the starting blocks.

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BOFH: We don't need no stinkin' upgrade

Stumpy

Carpet

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Stumpy
Coat

One of the best in a long, long time...

"You mean you don't like the ribbon? It's new!"

"I don't care if it's new – I can't find anything!"

"Sure you can, it's all in the ribbon – somewhere. It's a game software designers like to play with people."

How so very true...

So funny I think a little wee even came out.

... yes, it's the one with the depends in the pocket.

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NASA: Martians likely lived underground

Stumpy

And we all know ...

That million to one chances occur nine times out of ten...

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