* Posts by Stumpy

139 posts • joined 20 May 2010

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Susan Sheridan, voice of Hitchhiker's Trillian, dies aged 68

Stumpy

So long, and thanks for all the fish. RIP.

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Samsung looks into spam ads appearing on Brits' smart TVs

Stumpy

Re: Easily solved.

or just don't buy a smart TV. Buy a traditional, dumb model instead.

Honestly, folks will be telling me they want their vacuum cleaners connected to the internet next...

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FBI may pillory Hillary with email spillery grillery

Stumpy

Re: Only to be expected (For good reasons)

"Do you really want another baldface, thieving liar in the office of the President?"

Because Trump is a shining beacon of Holy Goodness by comparison, right? RIGHT?

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Apple chief Cook cooks up rumours after BMW car talks, factory tour

Stumpy

Re: BMW was careful not to show off too much

"Hey Apple, have you thought of cutting out the middle-men, just go straight to the NSA and ask them to give you BMW's blueprints?"

... where do you think the NSA got them from in the first place?

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Edge out rivals? No! Firefox boss BLASTS Microsoft's Windows 10 browser brouhaha

Stumpy

Same here. I suspect that if users opt for 'express' installation, then everything will get reset to whatever defaults MS deem necessary/desirable, whereas those who opt for a fully controlled install get to determine exactly what stays and what goes.

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UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really

Stumpy

Re: Stupid Fight

King Jack wrote:

"Has anyone ever been harmed by looking at the opposite sex?"

Yes. I was in the pub the other night staring at this fantastically beautiful blonde, when her boyfriend came over and kicked the crap out of me...

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SPECTRE-tacular: New trailer out for Bond 24. But where's the pussy?

Stumpy

Re: No cat...

I haven't got pussy galore in years *sigh*

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HP won't ship PCs with Windows 10 preinstalled until mid-August

Stumpy

* other countries and public holidays are available.

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Sorry, say boffins, the LHC still hasn't sucked us into a black hole

Stumpy

Re: Tea?

No, but if it's really, really hot, there's an infinite improbability of a large sperm whale appearing somewhere over Geneva.

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Large Hadron Collider gives young ALICE a black-hole ray gun

Stumpy

Re: Tin foil hat alert

You're absolutely right. I'd ignore what Proffessor Hawkins says too.

Now, if Professor Hawking were to say it was safe though, I'd go ahead and believe him.

(damn, where's that pedant icon when you need it)?

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Taming the Thames – The place that plugged London's Great Stink

Stumpy

Re: Amazing

I'd just be interested to know what he did between then and joining Channel 4 News...

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Election? Pah. Here's the REAL question: Who’s the SEXIEST MP?

Stumpy

Why bother trying to select the ONE you'd most like to be with. After all, they're ALL going to try and f*ck us eventually....

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Not pro-Bono: Russian MP wants Apple to face stiff action for cramming 'gay' U2 into iCrevices

Stumpy

Let's just face it. It's about time that Putin just came out...

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Boeing 787 software bug can shut down planes' generators IN FLIGHT

Stumpy

Re: "in practice this one is no big deal."

"it says that proper risk assessment, design and test practices have not been followed. Can't imagine how that happened..."

... sounds like the aircraft was designed and built using Agile...

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Oxford chaps solve problem in 1982 Sinclair Spectrum manual

Stumpy

Re: Awesome

You could actually get the TV to make something resembling music* by rapidly switching between Fast and Slow mode - Fast mode being where the video output was switched off.

* well, sound anyway.

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MAYHEM in ORBIT: Russian cargo pod spins OUT OF CONTROL

Stumpy

No wonder it's spinning ... it can't see a damn thing through all that text that's up on screen.

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Singapore's PM personally programmed C++ Suduko-solver

Stumpy

Re: if they allow conscientious objection, I wouldn't object

... but you'd have to be conscientous about it.

1
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Facebook fiddles with News Feed algo. Brace yourself for CONTENTGEDDON

Stumpy

Spotted a mistake...

'The free content ad network said...'

Should be

'The content free ad network said...'

15
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What's Meg Whitman fussing over: The fate of HP ... or the font on a DISRUPTIVE new logo?

Stumpy

Re: How long till....

If they do, and then a fully-formed DEC can be spat out of that ... I'll be one of the happiest men alive...

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Windows 10 build 10041: 99 bugs on the wall, fix a bug, add a feature, 114 bugs on the wall

Stumpy

Is it just me ...

... or is that first desktop screenshot somewhat reminicent of early 1980's GUIs ???

Looks f-ing awful.

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Last year was utter rubbish. Thanks for being part of it!

Stumpy

Re: Stay Puft Kim, Stay Puft

Go watch Ghostbusters...

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Space Commanders lock missiles on Elite's Frontier Devs

Stumpy

Re: No offline? Screw you guys, I’ll play with myself instead.

Given that I was able to play it last night with no issues whilst also pulling down some Linux ISOs from Usenet, and downloading from Steam (so my broadband was pretty maxed) I'd say that it only connects when it needs to update the Galaxy status (ie: when Hyperspacing to a new system or when trading in a station). Rest of the time ... no problems.

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Assange's WikiLeaks: Give generously this Xmas – for STATUE of our DEAR LEADER

Stumpy

I'd be more than happy to donate the rest of the outstanding amount if, and only if, they made the cast of Assange by actually dipping the man himself in boiling Bronze.

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1&1 goes titsup, blames lengthy outage on DDoS attack

Stumpy

So glad I dropped 1&1 last year for my hosting requirements.

I got so sick and tired of their hard sell tactics for their 'value added' services (like their website builder). Eventually jumped ship when after a particularly obnoxious sales drone called from the USA to try to sell me the services yet again, whom I politely informed that I was not interested. Anyhow, I then found on my next invoice a charge for 12 months pre-payment for the website builder. Took me a further 2 months to get all the charges reversed and them to eventually transfer my domains and close my accounts.

Now with Vidahost and have never been more satisfied with a hosting provider. (And I'm paying less for three years domain registration and hosting with them than I was paying 1&1 per quarter).

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WATCH Rosetta's Philae's SUCCESSFUL drop on Comet 67P

Stumpy

Re: Obligatory XKCD reference

Damn ... I now /really/ hope we find whales on there. :)

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FIRST for HUMANITY: Fridge-size PROBOT headed for COMET TOUCHDOWN

Stumpy

Re: Relativity

Because this is The Register. If you want serious, non-sensational journalism I suggest you check out The Sun, The People or The Mirror.

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HOT YOUNG STAR about to GIVE BIRTH, long range images show

Stumpy

You sure that's not just some close-up of a random intern's tie-dyed t-shirt?

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Poll: Yes, yes, texting while driving is bad but *ping* OH! Hey, GRAB THE WHEEL, will ya?

Stumpy

What? You only ride at 70 MPH?

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PEAK APPLE: iOS 8 is least popular Cupertino mobile OS in all of HUMAN HISTORY

Stumpy

Re: News?

Of course ... it's an article by Jasper. He doesn't do news....

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BOFH: We CAN do that with a Raspberry Pi, but think of the BODIES

Stumpy

"You could drag a body wrapped in an awkwardly rolled carpet across the foyer inside a minute," I say. "I know that for a fact!"

Priceless

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Just in case? Unverified 'supersize me' iPhone 6 pics in sneak leak peek

Stumpy

Re: I'm not convinced

If you look at the images, the screw holes referred to are internal - for pcb mounting I would guess, so this makes it entirely plausible [note that they may not even be screw holes, but simple locating posts instead...

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Call of Duty daddy considers launching own movie studio

Stumpy

Re: It can't be any worse than...

Doom

Mortal Kombat

etc etc

or can it?

Daikatana : The Movie ????

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The Register is HIRING technology hacks for the WORLD

Stumpy

Re: A tabloid journalist for El Reg with Fluency in English eh

... and of course, the more accurate description for todays Daily Mail would be 'vindictive, bile-filled hate rag'.

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The amazing .uk domain: Less .co and loads more whalesong

Stumpy

Where's the 'B' Ark when you need it?

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Canadian comet impact fingered for triggering prehistoric climate shift

Stumpy
Mushroom

Nuke 'em from orbit ....

.... it's the only way to be sure.

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Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

Stumpy

Made my Friday that has.

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Rate-my-boink app scores frisky fanbois, fangurlz' SCREAMS, VIBRATIONS

Stumpy
Megaphone

Stop that it's silly

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Ants have careers; you don't want them

Stumpy
Joke

Re: They Were Tired

No, that just happens when you join the army...

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Apple refreshes MacBook Pro range

Stumpy
Thumb Up

Re: “US sales tax”

Joseph of Cupertino is recognised variously as the patron saint of air travellers, pilots, astronauts, people with a mental handicap, test takers, and poor students.

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Competition crowdsources blisteringly-fast software

Stumpy
Happy

Re: The arrogance

You certainly shouldn't. Base them on the Grauniad instead. A much better class of sensationalist claptrap.

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Stumpy

Re: The arrogance

AceRimmer wrote: You'll also notice that what you quoted is a quote from the original article, not a quote from the scientist.

Aww, c'mon, this is the Reg. Never let logic and fact get in the way of a good sensationalist whinge...

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Rogue Squadron: Unit of X-wings Kickstarts in response to Death Star

Stumpy

but just how many Bothans will die to get them?

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El Reg contemplates the ultimate cuppa

Stumpy

Marks & Spencer Extra Strong teabags for me. Steeped in boiling water for between 1min30 and 2mins with a splash of skimmed milk.

Luvverly.

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Amazon patents digital resale market

Stumpy

I wonder what sort of knock-on effect granting this patent would have for the likes of Steam for example - especially in light of the current German court case pending regarding the resale of digital copies of games on the Steam platform...?

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Red supergiant Betelgeuse heads for SMACKDOWN with 'dust bar'

Stumpy

"Betelgeuse's outer arc will crash into it in just five thousand years and the red star itself will follow, around 12,500 years later"

... so not worth staying up late to watch then ...

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iPhone hangs on in US, Japan, but EVERYONE ELSE bought an Android

Stumpy
FAIL

“Apple’s continual improvement is thanks to both the iPhone 5 and older models attracting various customer groups," said Parlato, "from repeat Apple buyers, first time smartphone buyers and those coming from other smartphone brands”.

... so pretty much every group that bought a smartphone then?

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Mysterious Facebook product plumps up shares on Wall Street

Stumpy

My money is on them revealing mobile apps for Facebook that actually work...

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Stumpy
Joke

Re: Whatever the product, this will not entice me

"That's no pub. It's a wine bar"

(with apologies to the late Alec Guiness)

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Siri, will Chrome's new speech features kill you?

Stumpy

Whether or not it works better than Siri is irrelevant. Until voice activation can work with 100% accuracy 100% of the time for 100% of its users it will remain nothing more than a curiosity and a toy ... on any device or platform.

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Now Microsoft 'actively investigates' Surface slab jailbreak tool

Stumpy
Joke

It's obvious ...

Until someone actually went out and bought a Surface tablet they didn't have to worry. Now that they've actually *sold* one they're taking a much firmer line ...

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