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* Posts by Alister

424 posts • joined Wednesday 19th May 2010 12:59 GMT

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Alister
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There seems to be some scope for misleading young players, here, if the same-sex marriage is only allowed between male genders, how do they go on to raise children, or is there also an adoption policy in place in the game?

Alister
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Re: Missing the point

"Come friendly bombs, and fall on Stratford!"

Err...

Nah, doesn't work

Alister
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Re: Desire for a brand new combine harvester

I drove moi traactor through your haystack laast niight, ooh-arr ooh-arr!

Alister
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It's a shame Powers can't bring along his mates Oates, Rodgers and Turner. That might straighten things up a bit...

Alister
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Re: Interface (Verb)

...and is the bench it's strapped down to an integral part of this?

Alister
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WTF?

In testing on the agency's zero G "Vomit Comet", Apple's iPad failed to deliver, but astronauts still bring them up.

Vomiting an iPad must take some effort...

Alister
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And most importantly, stick the background recording of analytics up your arse.

Having worked in a medical environment for many years, and therefore knowing that an Emetic is something which makes you vomit, I always had the feeling that an Analytic should perform a similar function, only at the other end, so to speak.

Now that I work in IT, and have to deal with various Web Analytics tools, it only reinforces my initial misapprehension.

Alister
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Unhappy

With the new SMTP Send capability, Outlook.com will deliver emails sent from a different account using that account's SMTP server. The result is that they look like they just came from that account – no more "on behalf of."

Great, another useful tool for spammers.

Alister
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Realising the two craft were travelling at almost perpendicular orbits and were predicted to come within 700 feet (213m) of each other, the equivalent of an interstellar hair’s breadth, McEnery immediately began to panic.

Umm, why?

On nearly every road on this planet, large chunks of metal with a mass of several tons come within 3 feet (1m) of each other at a closing speed that can be in excess of a hundred miles an hour, and it happens ALL THE TIME!

In my book, even in orbit, 200+ metres is a clean miss.

Alister
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: The final furlong

I splorfed...

Alister
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Happy

and how appropriate that you should be the one to comment, given your user name.

Although, Capped In Underpants might be nearer

Alister
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Re: Alcohol withdrawal?

I'm guessing the tobacco doesn't count as food, either ;-)

Alister
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six cuppas a day!

Blimey, I've passed that already, and it's only half eleven

Alister
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Is the industry short on Cobolers

FPA cobblers...

Couldn't work out where they fitted into IT

Alister
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Re: 2FA

Twitter is working on 2FA. :-)

No, I think you misheard, Twitter is working on sweet FA

Alister
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Coat

they should simply call each console the Xbox, and then retrospectively rename each generation of the old consoles as ex-box, ex-ex-box, and my favourite; the ex-ex-ex-box!

and not forgetting the Australian version, the four-ex-box

Alister
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The question is, are you starting from nothing, in terms of food stocks you're allowed to have, and are you only allowed to spend one pound per day, or a fiver at the start of the week?

If the former, and starting with nothing, I really doubt you could successfully buy a meal a day with just a pound. You could probably buy a bag of rice (just) on your first day, but that would be it, no meat or veg or sauce.

If you can spend a fiver at the start of the week then It would probably be doable.

Alister
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Coat

Smash it with a hammer now, it's the only way to be sure.

Dear El Reg, having followed your advice as above, I now find great difficulty in making calls on my smartphone.

The touchscreen appears to be not as responsive as before, and the large cracks across it make viewing the screen difficult.

In addition, the phone fails to ring on occasion when an incoming call is received.

Please can you advise what I can do to improve matters.

Alister
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"So, it's astonishing that Home Office bureaucrats are risking contempt of court by trying to cover up the most basic information on how the scheme will operate in practice."

No, it's not astonishing, they haven't got a clue how it's going to operate in practice.

Alister
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Boffin

Re: tempted

i'm tempted, curiosity/cat/homicide and all that. but would it be a mistake to know this stuff?

would i suddenly become paranoid to discover i have an increase chance of heart attack, and then the stress which that knowledge induces could be the cause for my eventual cardiac arrest?

Only you know the answer to that, however, let's try a little experiment...

Come over here and sit down, there's something I need to tell you...

No, I really think it would be best if you sit down first...

Now look, you know you sent off for that DNA test a while ago, well...

Alister
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It would be nice if we were told how to identify any potential infection by this malware...

Alister
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Facepalm

Reminds me of Demolition man:

automated assistant: In a firm voice, order Maniac to lie down with his hands behind his back.

...

Squad Leader: Maniac has responded with a scornful remark.

automated assistant: Approach, and repeat ultimatum in an even firmer tone of voice. Add the words, "or else".

Alister
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Joke

Win 7 PCs in Samba-loving Brazil are apparently hardest hit.

Well if you will use an open source network protocol, what do you expect?

Alister
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Dockers should become engineers; miners should become programmers.

In my experience, miners became Police Officers, Fire Fighters, Ambulance Staff or Nurses, strangely.

Alister
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Headmaster

Re: Stop this faggotry worthwith

Umm... Forthwith, Shirley?

Alister
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Thumb Up

Gormless circumlunar HTML slumlord primly gimlets bottomless hamlet

Nice!

Alister
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Whilst it makes a nice headline, I fail to see any point in having a light bulb that is IP aware. The light switch that controls it, maybe, but why each individual bulb? It's nonsense.

Alister
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Mushroom

A little Redis to go with your MongoDB, sir?

Finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

But sir, it's only a tiny, little thin one.

see icon...

Alister
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Coat

So, ideal for sneaking past microwave intruder alarms, then, excellent.

Yes, coat, the funny looking fishnet one.

Alister
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Archive to disc

If you archive to disc, which is then spun down and stored, is there more or less data degradation over time in comparison to tape?

Alister
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WTF?

Is it just me, or does their spacecraft include a tray of apples??

Alister
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Coat

Re: A mole of an anthill?

It's a mole with a sticker on the side:

"Anthill Inside"

Alister
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FAIL

Re: Word is brilliant!

I think you make a mole of an anthill

Interesting project, and way to mix any number of metaphors...

Alister
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I weep for the next generation of users, who will be forced to wrestle with software interfaces that no longer react according to what you choose to do, but writhe about the screen like ghastly creatures with unnatural lives of their own, while the helpless user can do nothing but watch on in horror as their work gets dragged into the spectral shadows, their deadlines ripped to fleshy shreds and their very souls consumed in the vile and bestial depths of hell.

...aaand, breathe.

Nice sentence :-)

Alister
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Facepalm

But above all they must understand that the challenge now is not about information technology, but about designing, developing and delivering great, user-centred digital services.

A-huh, I look forward to seeing them deliver "user-centred digital services" without information technology, should be quite a challenge...

Alister
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Re: So is it a tele operated remote handler or a true robot?

The article says Robotic entrants for the $2m prize must be able to operate without a power line or wired connection so I'm guessing the latter.

Alister
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Re: notepad++

it isn't the worst icon on my desktop - that belongs to the VPN icon of a padlock that wouldn't look out of place on Windows 3.1.

Cisco!

Do I get a prize??

Alister
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What about The Abyss?

and I agree, Contact should be on the list.

Alister
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Coat

Re: Speaking of Emacs, ....

Emacs would be a great O/S if only it had a decent text editor...

Alister
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Re: Correct Horse Battery Staple

IF the website \ program will allow it of course...

...and this is the problem, the overwhelming majority of websites and applications I use, that require a password, are still insistent on it containing capital letters, numbers and non-alphabetical characters, or limit it to 12 characters, or don't allow spaces.

I want my password to be cheese pizza with anchovies but I usually end up with B4c0n4nd3gg!

Alister
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Coat

It's lean, rich and lower in fat than the main meat groups.

...Just like Horse...

Alister
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Bathroom?

Being right-pondian, reading the word Bathroom always makes me wonder, just for a moment, why anyone would want to take a bath in a retail store - even one so exalted as an Apple store. Perhaps cleanliness is next to Jobs-liness.

Even the word Washroom conjures up an image of a hospital sluice, rather than a place to go for a piss.

Why can't you just say toilet, or if you want to be coy about it, lavatory?

Alister
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Meh

The change now taking place, ... is consumers’ growing desire to pay not with a card but their phone.

Is that really the case? I am perhaps a luddite (despite working in IT) but I have no desire to pay by phone, and I haven't yet met anyone who expressed that desire.

Alister
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Re: Has Reg Shoe joined yet?

I'd have picked "Night Watch", meself...

Alister
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— Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy)

Sadly DeForest Kelley never had a Twitter account, but it's a shame, as he could have been @TheRealMcCoy

Alister
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Coat

Re: ::yawns::

Oh4FS wrote:

10 million and one of them stuffing dildos in every orifice ...It's like 10,000 reruns of Gilligans Island....

I must have missed that episode...

Alister
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Re: El-Kady

What's more Graphite Oxide? Isn't that carbon dioxide? Is someone pulling someone's lower limb?

No,

Graphite (Carbon) Oxide = 1 Carbon and 1 Oxygen

Carbon Dioxide = 1 Carbon and 2 Oxygen

Alister
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Trollface

Will it still let me do this?

INSERT INTO Students VALUES ('Robert'); DROP TABLE STUDENTS; --

Alister
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Angel

I think you're confusing Jonathan Ive and Jeremy Clarkson...

Alister
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FAIL

@ Ronald J Riley

Nice rant, shame about the comprehension fail...

The sentence you quote has nothing to do with Obama's view on patent trolls, it is talking about teaching programming in schools.

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