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* Posts by Alister

692 posts • joined 19 May 2010

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Google Maps community competition falls foul of Indian regulations

Alister
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Re: Secret?

So.... are you saying there's a secret military base under a field near Heathrow terminal 5?

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Sysadmin Day 2014: Quick, there's still time to get the beers in

Alister
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Erm, I believe that's supposed to be "tidbit".

Depends which side of the big pond you are. AFAIK in Britain, tit-bits is perfectly valid, perhaps we are less prudish about our language...

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Bad back? Show some spine and stop popping paracetamol

Alister
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Boffin

Re: @Lee D

"The reason that paracetamol is prescribed is because it tends not to conflict with other things you're taking."

That's one reason. Another is that's it's fairly benign on the GI system compared to the alternatives.

It is not, however, benign on Liver function, hence the low levels needed to become toxic. An acute dose of 10 grams (that is, taken all at once) will severely impair liver function, and if untreated will kill you. This is why it's the drug of choice for suicides, although most "cry-for-help" takers of paracetamol have no idea it will kill them so soon.

Paracetamol is primarily an antipyretic - that is, it reduces the body's temperature, and therefore works well on the symptoms of bacterial and viral infections. It's efficacy as an analgesic has always been a secondary consideration.

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Help yourself to anyone's photos FOR FREE, suggests UK.gov

Alister
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I know of someone who found that a picture he had taken of his car, and posted on his own website, was taken and used by Transport For London to illustrate their PDF on examples of vehicles affected by the Low Emission Zone.

He contacted them, asking that they remove the photo from their document, and they seemed most surprised that anyone would object to the photo being used.

When pressed they said they hadn't tried to contact the owner of the photo to ask for permission, as they didn't think they had to.

They did however remove the photograph, and replaced it with one which looked suspiciously like someone else's private photo...

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WTF is ... Virtual Customer Premises Equipment?

Alister
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Ah, remember the heady days of WinModems?

Takes me back...

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Fear a terrifying killer robot revolution? GET A GRIP: Boffins invent cyborg hand for humans

Alister
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Go go Gadget fingers!

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Facebook in new 'experiment' drama: Will users buy it?

Alister
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Well, That's Ebay and Paypal covered, so when's Zuckerberg rolling out his internet search engine?

Incidentally if Google is The Chocolate Factory, shouldn't Facebook be "The Sugar Mountain"??

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Sit back down, Julian Assange™, you're not going anywhere just yet

Alister
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Re: Cost a government

Except 'the government' is the people. Londoners in particular in this case. That prick has diverted £6M of front line policing away from the streets of the city where they're much needed.

On the upside, they recovered £93,000 of the £140,000 from those who posted bail for him...

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Microsoft's anti-bug breakthrough: Wire devs to BRAIN SCANNERS

Alister
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It's easy to tell if devs in our office are having trouble with the code - they're the ones shouting ARSEBISCUITS or SHITARSE and banging their heads on the desk...

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Chinese biz bloke builds his OWN 3,500-mile Tesla charger network

Alister
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Re: Whatever else you might think...

I can't think why you got 2 downvotes for that Graham, maybe someone doesn't like HHGTTG.

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BT: Whew, we've been cleared of major privacy breach. Oh SNAP, another webmail blunder

Alister
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I love how these big companies always try to make it sound like only a couple of folk have been affected by their outages - BT aren't the only ones, Microsoft and others do it as well - by releasing statements like "A minority of our customers may have suffered some inconvenience" when what they mean is "Thousands of our customers were unable to access our services".

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Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files

Alister
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Coat

Brings a whole new meaning to "Paddle your own canoe".

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YES: Scotland declares independence ... from the dot co dot uk empire

Alister
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By fuss do you mean "ignore the useless new suffix entirely"?

Ah, you misunderstood. The "We" was not "We the Regtard community", it was "We the local government of Boris".

I quote:

"There is enormous interest in Dot London right across the capital, not just from high-street brands but also the small businesses that are the lifeblood of London’s economy. London leads the world in technology and our businesses are among the most dynamic and innovative anywhere, so it is no surprise so many see Dot London for the great opportunity it is.”

<cough> Bollocks </cough>

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Alister
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Here in London, it's considered a little parochial to tie yourself to just one godforsaken corner of the earth.

Which is why we made such a fuss over the .london domain...

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Alister
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Headmaster

Re: Indeed: 1st Rule Of Computing...

"Thought shalt turn it off."

Cool, a thought controlled computer.

Can I have one?

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Alister
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Facepalm

Re: Regarding the terminology problems...

...I do think that as a member of an industry which has things called 'floppy discs' which don't bend and are square, we do really have only ourselves to blame.

I rather think you are showing that you are a relative newcomer to the industry, if you don't know what the origin of the term is, or that removable disks were floppy, at one time...

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Alister
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Thumb Up

“Well, it’s all black with a rectangle in the middle that’s moving up and down slowly, and it says in big letters ‘No connection found’.”

Bill, do you see the big button at the front of the big box under your screen? Good. Press it.

“Ah, there we go. Cheers!”

Classic, absolutely spot on.

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Read the proposed US ASTEROIDS Act to green-light mining IN SPAAAACE

Alister
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I have a counter proposal:

Highly Extravagent Method Of Restricting Resources and Hampering Opportunities In Deep Space

(HEMORRHOID) Act

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Think Google Glass is creepy? Wait until it READS YOUR MIND

Alister
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"We didn't start the project to make money," Kirton said. "For us it's just about standing among giants, being among greatness."

Is he related to Steve Bong?

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Say goodbye to the noughties: Yesterday’s hi-fi biz is BUSTED, bro

Alister
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Shop Asst: Hello, can I help you Sir?

Customer: Yes, I'd like to buy a gramophone please.

Shop Asst: A WHAT?? (sniggers)

Customer: Erm......a gramophone.

Shop Asst: (sniggers more)

Shop Asst 2: (sniggers as well)

Shop Asst: (sniggers) Right, well, we don't sell gram-o-phones here grandad!

Shop Asst2: (sniggers more)

Customer: Oh, right, well erm, what's that over there then?

Shop Asst: That's a Trio Automatic Capped Direct Drive Turntable unless I'm much mistaken.

Customer: Well what's the difference between that and a gramophone?

Shop Asst: About 30 years and a plastic cover to you chief!

...

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ATTACK of the Windows ZOMBIES on point-of-sale terminals

Alister
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IntelCrawler strongly recommends that strengthen passwords used for POS terminals, as well as to monitor suspicious incoming network traffic.

Trouble is, most of these POS are installed in places where there is no established IT infrastructure - hung off the end of a broadband connection in a shop somewhere - so the likelihood of there being any method of monitoring traffic is remote, and the password choice is down to some shop manager or owner.

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'iPhone 6' survives FRENZIED STABBING. Truly, it is the JESUS Phone

Alister
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*I meant wanking himself into a sweaty lather. Enjoy that lunchtime mental image, everyone.

Yeah, thanks for that.

Somebody pass the brain bleach...

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Going up: Fancy a virtual flight to 30km above the PLANET?

Alister
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Coat

Taken from his Bio:

Aaron's research interests involve experimental and computational plasma physics

Does that make him a Gassy Knoll?

Yes, I'm here all week...

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Alister
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Joke

As of this morning, 166 backers had pledged £2,000 towards the £5,000 target.

So 166 x 2,000 = £332,000

made the target then, or am I reading this wrong??

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F1? No, it's Formula E as electric racing cars hit the track

Alister
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Geography!

Donington Park Racing Circuit in Derby.

Umm, nope, it's in Leicestershire...

Ok, it might have a DE postcode, but by no stretch of the imagination could you call it "In Derby"

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Top ten car gadgets: Get your motor running with new shiny-shiny

Alister
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The Alcosense Lite

Is it me, or does that use the case mouldings for an old Nokia phone! It sure looks like it!

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Royal Navy parks 470 double-decker buses on Queen Elizabeth

Alister
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Facepalm

No catapult, no use...

Is there no-one in the Navy, the government or the procurement teams who realises that without a catapult, the ship is virtually useless as an aircraft carrier?

Even if your strike aircraft are capable of unassisted takeoff with a useable payload (which is not a given) how about all the ancilliary aircraft normally used in carrier operations?

An aircraft carrier will normally have a complement of AWACS (or AEW) planes to provide eyes over the horizon, these (like for instance the EC2 Hawkeye) need a catapult to get off the deck with sufficient fuel load to be useful.

Then you have Carrier Onboard Delivery. All the mail, spare parts, personnel transfers etc are collected and delivered by aircraft: helicopters don't have the range and payload necessary, so again, you need an aircraft which will require an assisted takeoff to be of any practical use.

So, what actual use is this shiny new carrier? None, that I can see.

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Google de-listing of BBC article 'broke UK and Euro public interest laws' - So WHY do it?

Alister
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Where on earth has this idea come from that Google have any legal obligation to provide a link to any content on the web?

If they choose to remove their link, that's up to them, and whether they did it to score points or not neither the EU commission nor anybody else can tell them to put it back, and I'm sure they know that.

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AVG: We need laws to stop biz from tracking our kids

Alister
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Who mentioned anything about IP addresses?

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Keith McMahon, tech analyst, dies at 50

Alister
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Sad to hear.

Far too soon...

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HP gets 'Playboy model and the ex-CEO' lawsuit kicked out ... AGAIN

Alister
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The shareholders really should know better than to twist the Tigar's tail...

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Study of Brit students finds TXTING doesn't ruin your writing

Alister
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Facepalm

but if they advertise any vacency

Oh the humanity, oh the irony...

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LONGER flights burning MORE fuel can CUT planes' climate impact

Alister
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Joke

The researchers suggest that ... airlines could change routes to avoid the weather conditions that lead to increased contrails.

Contrails form in cold, moist air, and are caused either by the condensation of water vapour in the engine exhaust, or by the turbulence at wingtips causing water vapour in the air to condense.

So, no flights allowed over the UK, then...

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Google spaffs $50 MILLION on 'get girls coding' campaign

Alister
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UK gov's Year of Code

Ah yes, 6 months in, I haven't noticed much in the way of progress with this...

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Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

Alister
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It's amazing how predictable this is becoming.

Back in August of last year, I wrote the following comment in a thread on the Reg (here)

"I notice that certain sections of the UK press have cottoned on to the use of the Tor network, and have labelled it "a tool of paedos".

It would not surprise me if we soon see calls for knee-jerk legislation to try and block anonymising services, VPNs and encryption software."

Unfortunately, it looks like this is close to becoming true.

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Mobe battery flat? These ELECTRIC PANTS will pump things up

Alister
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You just turn them inside out when they get crusty...

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DON'T PANIC: Facebook returns after 30-minute outage terror

Alister
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The Guardian's inevitable liveblog claims the Facebook outage is its "longest service disruption in living memory".

Do they mean longest disruption of Facebook, or just in general?

Either way they're talking bollocks.

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AT&T has Amazon 3D smartphone on lockdown – report

Alister
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Headmaster

Amazon to drop veil

It should be "lift veil" shirley?

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Car titans WON'T STEAL our tech, says Musk: DAMNIT, I'll GIVE IT to 'em

Alister
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Re: Publicity Stunt

It's all very well pushing for higher use of electric cars, as opposed to i/c engined vehicles, but no-one seems to be considering that the electricity has to come from somewhere.

Here in the UK the government is already proposing measures to curb the use of electricity. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/06/10/uk_preps_ww2style_energy_rationing/

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Cisco: You think the internet is clogged with video now? Just wait until 2018

Alister
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Re: Enough already

No, no, no!

It's one, two, many, lots...

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BOFH: On the contrary, we LOVE rebranding here at the IT dept

Alister
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Re: GCHQ wants to know what NSA hasn't a clue about and isn't being recorded for reporting in leaks

NURSE! HE'S FORGOTTEN HIS PILLS AGAIN!

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Measure for measure: We visit the most applied-physicist-rich building in the UK

Alister
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It's the Schneider Race seaplane

Nope, it isn't, the S5 looked very different to that, particularly round the engine cowlings, it's a Spitfire.

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Alister
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Coat

Surely the pic of the Spitfire is upside down???

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Microsoft poised to take Web server crown from Apache

Alister
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Can someone actually point to a popular CMS for IIS...

Well, since you ask, Sitefinity and Umbraco are two of the most common.

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SLOW DOWN: Insecure-by-design software on road

Alister
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Ah, if only the Motorway matrix signs required hacking, they can be nonsensical without any malicious help...

On a lonely stretch of the M6 miles from any service station or junction, I am advised to "Check Your Tyre Pressures"

What, now?? Do you want me to stop??

Or the even more obscure "Use the correct child seat". WTF??

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DAMN you El Reg, CALL ME A BOFFIN, demands enraged boffin

Alister
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Re: Before acquiescing to his demand...

...I hope you verified that he wore a white coat.

and uses a straight stemmed pipe to point to his diagrams...

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EBAY... You keep using that word 'ENCRYPTION' – it does not mean what you think it means

Alister
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Facepalm

Re: Is it time to get out more and use paper money?

Instead I can only chose from one of their questions with easily traceable answers, e.g. "What is your mother's maiden name?".

What, you mean you would answer that truthfully?

Blimey!

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Brits to vote: Which pressing scientific challenge should get £10m thrown at it?

Alister
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Re: non-resistant antibiotics

It wasn't me...

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Boffin fights fire with EXPLOSIVES instead of water

Alister
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Re: Hang on...

I don't think that was quite the same... they used explosives to cap the well-head with debris.

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BRITS: Wanna know how late your train is? Now you can slurp straight from the source for free

Alister
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That graph implies that nationalisation might not be the answer

Correlation Does Not Imply Causation!

In that same time period, road use began to reach breaking point, and road congestion is as much a factor in rail passenger numbers as anything else, I would have thought.

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