* Posts by Sir Runcible Spoon

2887 posts • joined 29 May 2007

Google Translate MEAT GRINDER turns gay into 'faggot', 'poof', 'queen'

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Delete the entire dictionary as a solution (except for 16 words)

After reading about Cumberbatchs' apology the other day I decided to have a look around for the list of words that I'm not supposed to use.

Guess, what..there doesn't appear to be one.

This is actually quite clever, because people who are constantly watching what they say (just in case it might offend) are effectively already mind-controlled.

Control the language and you control the scope of thought processes.

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HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Fraud Vs Incompetence

It actually tells you in the article.

Only certain companies are in a position to tender for such large contracts. All of these companies deal in quantity over quality. The more complex the customer system, the more time they can bill - why would they recommend improvements if it reduces their income?

If the client has 5 systems all doing the same thing and all the owners think it should be done by theirs, then you have inter-departmental rivalries, not to mention huge overlap in responsibilities.

The vendors have a stake in deploying as much kit as possible, because a 4 year support contract plus licenses will cost more than the kit itself (a lot more).

In the end though, what it all boils down to is that there is no ONE person who is in charge and responsible for the delivery (from within HMRC) and all the decisions are made by committee and consist of bean-counters and sales reps without an ounce of real-world experience of deploying large scale enterprise projects.

I will happily give HMRC some free advice: Hire someone from the Internet world who has experience of deploying large scale infrastructure and reconciling existing systems (plus a large dollop of live critical system migration). Put them in charge of ALL IT decisions that could reduce complexity and overlap - regardless of what the department heads say. Last, but not least, pay them a lot of money to do the job properly and the authority to make decisions stick. This way they will save you vastly more than the project is costing us. Please.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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"Can't imagine what happens to the rest of it."

Conference calls, update meetings, strategic back-track calls, project manglement, it all adds up when you've got 20 people on the call trying to overtalk one another.

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Brits need chutzpah to copy Israeli cyberspies' tech creche – ex-spooks

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Don't worry, it will never happen

"They've had to stuff the Newcastle one full of Accenture staff and they'll likely have to do the same with the Manchester one with Capgemini staff."

..and people still wonder why government IT projects fail.

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Cubans defy government's home internet ban with secret home-made network

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Joke

Re: cantenna?

"Use neutrinos- they laugh at the curve of the earth, but respect the laws of physics!"

I'm not sure you've thought through the full implications of building a receiver at both ends :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: One really large LAN Party

Cuban up-cycling is legendary, given their lack of resources.

You can bet that someone has come up with some novel designs to make it all hang together - it might be worth a field-trip just to see if they have come up with a concept that could be applied to work in the Enterprise arena.

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A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: SPOILER ALERT - This is almost exactly the script from the movie.

"Euler.......anyone?.....?"

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Hoaxer posing as GCHQ boss prank-calls PM Cameron

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: direct call

I can't think of a single emergency situation where the Cabinet would need to speak to the PM immediately, whilst I can think of a few for the head of GCHQ.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Optional

"But all phone metadata is already collected so does the fact that they haven't already arrested somebody mean that having metadata does not really help the security services catch people doing naughty things (tm)?"

It was probably just Tony pissing about.

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'People ACTUALLY CONFUSE Facebook and the internet in some places'

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Joke

"Products!"

In that case where do I get my refund?

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Thailand: 'The nail that sticks up gets hammered down'

Sir Runcible Spoon
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"Try condos."

"Oh, the old "Thai is tonal" gag. Thai has 5 tones, English has 6. Can you speak English?"

Try a more condenscending tone, you might set a record.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: 'The nail that sticks up gets hammered down'

Isn't our equivalent something along the lines of 'stick your head above the parapet and get an arrow to the knee'?

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Hola HoloLens: Reg man gets face time with Microsoft's holographic headset

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Could actually be used for the opposite

"and replace it with a blank rectangle"

there's only one thing to say to that...fnord!!

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Headmaster

Re: And the other three things?

Exchange the question mark for an asterisk and I'm with you.

Of course, it's probably just a teaser for the next article.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: The most screamingly obvious use for augmented reality...

"Admen - a greater plague than lawyers."

Is there something they both want so we can try and set them on each other? Mutual annihilation of those particular breeds might set us back about -450 years if we're lucky.

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Doomsday Clock says 3 MINUTES to MIDNIGHT. Again

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Mushroom

Re: In situations like this, I find it useful

'Idiot's guide to inter-continental thermo-nuclear ballistic missile maintenance and upgrades" ?

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Top US privacy bod: EU should STOP appeasing whiny consumers

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: RE: Stalemate

"It's stalemate."

More like a win-win if you ask me.

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Verizon posts WANTED poster for copper rustlers

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Pint

Re: Stolen Copper

"Naval base", "records of sails "

Was that intentional?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Trollface

Re: "Shopping" is the latest crime thing here

I'm guessing that it isn't really new in the US. If it is then at least we have sent them something in return for the all the shite we've had to endure from the US.

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OTHER EARTHS may be orbiting our Sun beyond Neptune

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Sky surveys

Hi Trevor, I didn't say it was a practical solution, but it could work.

These objects won't move too much, but we dart about fairly quickly. There are plenty of starts out there to occlude. It might not be quick, and it won't be cheap, but it could work.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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"and has cleared its orbit" vs. "Earth-orbit-crossing asteroids"

So unless one of these asteroids decide to pull into our lane, I reckon Earth is still a planet :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Sky surveys

"So how are you supposed to see them?"

Occlusion?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Pirate

We must send our four fastest ships, one in each direction. Super planets are always lurking around Sol at this time of the galactic rotation.

However, have you considered that they might not want to be part of the Solar System? After all, it was Sol that (r)ejected them* in the fire swamp early days?

*Possibly.

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Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Headmaster

Re: BE

Is it bad that I know that should be 'Psychlo' ?

I think it probably is.

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Alien Earths are out there: Our home is not 'unique'

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: The final step

If you hit the planet dead-center you will be ineligible to collect your Bounty.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Nice simple recipe

It will be perilous, but we will have a whale of a time playing crickit.

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MYSTERY RADIO SIGNAL picked up from BEYOND our GALAXY

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Mushroom

"Unless the event is traveling towards us very very very quickly"

In that case, and at the energy levels reported, we are probably all toast in the morning.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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I would have thought those type of events would be a bit slower than the time-frame for this observation though.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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"Hey Brian, I've got a new sound system. We were playing around with it last night and we recorded 8-bit full-polarization data from two orthogonal linear feeds per beam, with 1024 frequency channels over 400 MHz of bandwidth, from 1182 to 1582 MHz, and 64-μs time resolution.

It sounded like that time we put the cat through the mangle when it was wet"

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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I love that you've got so many upvotes without anyone having to explain the reference.

Only on the Reg :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Alien

Spock Mode On

Fascinating.

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Increased gov spy powers are NOT the way to stay safe against terrorism

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Well said

"The internet allows people"

You could have just put a full stop right after that and you would have your reason for what they are trying to do.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Angel

Re: an act of God

"Maybe he made the first one with free will and intelligence but like a dodgy photocopier the later copies have faded and blurred."

I think the story is that the first man was ejected from Eden and so lost all his priveledges (like a 1000 year life-span etc.). Honestly, you couldn't make it up....or could you?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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What I want to know is what have the spooks got on May and Cameron that keeps them dancing to their favourite tune?

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'Our AI systems must do what we want them to do'

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: re: EVERY SINGLE PERSON

"Including 5 members of an organisation totally separate from, and with no possible links to, the IRA"

That's only so no-one can prove that they were plants.

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'It's NOT FAIR!' yell RICH KIDS ... and that's a GOOD THING

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Question:

"You are right. As reported, the basis of the experiment is fatally flawed. It is critically important to work with a figure that each person considers to be minor..."

^This.

If the poorer participants were offered 1c out of $1, then they might exhibit the same behaviour.

My in-laws are always trying to give us money (of the £10-100 variety) and since they are pensioners they don't realise that the amount of money isn't significant enough to us to help much, but is of vastly more use to them. We don't want to refuse because they are so generous and we don't want to hurt their feelings, but I have told them that if they do want to show appreciation for something we do by giving us money, then nothing worth more than a tenner (otherwise we will just buy something they need that they haven't bought with the money and give it right back to them :) )

Similarly, a millionaire associate started having money troubles because most of it was tied up in assets - there was no amount I could raise that would make a dent in his economic commitments, we are just on different levels.

How much would you get out of bed and clean a filthy toilet for (say it takes an hour)?

Some people would do that for £10, others wouldn't do it if you paid them £1000. It all depends where your expectations are on the economic spectrum.

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Boffins: It's EASY to make you GRASS YOURSELF UP for crimes you never did

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: After the confessions

Simple rule: Deny everything, even the existence of your interrogators if you have to.

Take away point: You decide your own reality (or else risk having someone else decide it for you)

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Saudi govt pauses flogging dad-of-3 for Facebook posts – after docs intervene

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Pint

Re: Al Saud ...

You know the year in Saudi is 1436 don't you?

Have a pint, because that's what all the Saudi's were doing (ok it was whisky) on the plane from Jeddha to Heathrow, whilst their wives were in the toilets changing into skimpy outfits.

Can't say I blame them mind, but it did come as a bit of a shock after spending two months out there.

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Mt Gox Bitcoin baron: I was NOT Silk Road boss Dread Pirate Roberts

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Half the story here

"he's still an accessory to murder after the fact."

Did you mean 'conspiracy to murder' - I don't think anyone died did they?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Pirate

Sir

"This is probably going to be disappointing for you, but I am not and have never been [the real] Dread Pirate Roberts"

But every day when I go to bed I get told that I will most likely be killed in the morning. That's been the case for the last 4 years and 364 days.

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NSA: SO SORRY we backed that borked crypto even after you spotted the backdoor

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: The NSA has no real standing on helping secure anything

Thanks for that enlightening insight into the ever deepening corruption of our political system.

I can't think why radicals from a backwards culture think we are all corrupt. Until they wise-up, the public will always be in the firing line from both sides.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: "A fair reading of our track record"

"We didn't do nuffin' wrong really"

<swish>

"The next time my hand flies, for where I come from there are penalties when a state sponsored spook lies. Oh, wait, wrong universe...as you were."

<shuffles off to build a web site>

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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To be perfectly honest, I don't.

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PROOF the undead STALK Verizon users: Admen caught using 'perma-cookie'

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Thius is one of the best arguments...

Whilst VPN's are presently immune, businesses already intercept user https traffic outbound and re-sign the keys so the user doesn't know it's been tapped.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: I'm surprised that this doesn't fall under wire-tapping fraud or some such thing?

What has it got to do with the host websites? This header is being added to your data packets by the carrier, therefore it is being intercepted (and modified). Very dodgy ground.

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CIA exonerates CIA of all wrongdoing in Senate hacking probe

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Sir

So, did they delete any documents or not?

Did any of the CIA operatives who access the computers discuss any of what they found with anyone else that could potentially influence the investigation?

The findings of this report are pure bullshit if you ask me. I'm sure Cameron will be asking for some tips whilst he is over there.

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'F*** you', exclaims Google Translate app, politely

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Joke

There's no pleasing some people.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: costly

"Well, in some places they call them corkburgers and shitburgers and even worse"

That's just in the literal countries.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Well...

"eff, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk"

That's a terrible old Nordic insult. They will be sending round their flea-sized space armada anytime now.

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David Cameron: I'm off to the US to get my bro Barack to ban crypto – report

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: UNIMPLEMENTABLE!

I think the concept of running services on non-assigned ports hasn't occurred to him - unless they plan to DPI the entire national infrastructure and search through the identifying crypto headers.

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