* Posts by ColonelClaw

292 posts • joined 30 Apr 2010

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MORE Windows 10 bugs! Too many Start menu apps BREAK it

ColonelClaw

Question: can I natively turn those picture tiles bollocks into a useful text-only list, or will I need to resort to a 3rd party app? (Start10 or whatever)

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Windows 10: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE to Microsoft's long apology for Windows 8

ColonelClaw
Trollface

That XBone streaming thing is amazingly useful - now I can stream 720p 30fps content to my 1440p 60fps PC!

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Jeep breach: Scared? You should be, it could be you next

ColonelClaw

Why the hell connect cars to the net anyway?

We seem to be currently going through a particularly daft period of digital evolution, where the common answer to the above question is "because we can".

My TV packed up recently after 7 years of service (not great, if you ask me), so off I went to John Lewis to pick up a new one. I returned home with a shiny new Sony number, and very nice it looks too, incredible picture quality. But there's just one problem - it runs Android. Yup, a TV now runs an OS. What they didn't explain in the shop is that it takes about 45 seconds to start up from cold.

Seriously, why? Who in their right mind thought it would be a good idea to make you wait for nearly a minute before a bloody TV has to boot up? And then once it's on you're bombarded with a completely crazy smorgasboard of an interface you have to navigate before it will allow you to watch a channel. And then when you do select a channel, it takes at minimum 10 seconds before you can see a live picture.

But hey, the picture quality is amazing.

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Shapps launches probe into Wikimedia UK over self-pluggery allegs

ColonelClaw

This reminds me of Al Fayed vs. the Hamiltons. To be on the safe side can we just find both parties guilty?

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Windows 10 on Mobile under the scope: Flaws, confusion, and going nowhere fast

ColonelClaw

I just don't get Microsoft's obsession with making the OS the star. Every new version has a million new distracting things that all seem to be constantly fighting for your attention, it's like each UI component is designed by a different person who wants his/her bit to get your attention over all others.

All I want from an OS is for it to quickly and easily load my applications and then shut the hell up.

Why does it have to be so complicated?

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Microsoft to Windows 10 consumers: You'll get updates LIKE IT or NOT

ColonelClaw

You know what really scares me? That little Windows 10 logo currently sitting in the taskbar of both my parents' Win7 laptops. And they're just the tip of the iceberg; as the resident family-and-friends go-to IT guy I can't help feeling I'm going to be very busy in the coming weeks.

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Blighty's BONKERS BANKING BONKING BONANZA: Apple Pay arrives

ColonelClaw

Probably not a very popular opinion, but I welcome the system. The current wave of contactless cards always made me very nervous about the lack of security, at least the Apple version requires your fingerprint (or severed finger).

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Microsoft suspends Windows 10 new-build downloads ahead of launch

ColonelClaw

In memorium of Flock of Seagulls

The haircut on that Microsoft bloke, bloody hell it's awful

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Satoru Iwata, Nintendo chieftain and gamer titan, dies aged 55

ColonelClaw

This is the guy who, when Nintendo's fortunes took a dive, insisted on not cutting worker's jobs, but instead cut executive's pay. That makes him awesome.

Rest in peace

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Microsoft starts switching on paid Wi-Fi service with latest Windows 10 preview

ColonelClaw

Windows sells by the millions, if even 0.1% of users buy some WiFi time, they will have made decent money. You and I will never use it, of course, but I can think of plenty of people who don't know any better that might.

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Microsoft emits Office 2016 for Apple Macs (you'll need Office 365)

ColonelClaw

That interface looks much nicer than the Office on Windows one. In fact it looks much nicer than the overall bleached-white Windows 10 GUI. Whoever is responsible for it should be quickly moved over to the windows division - I'm pretty sure they could do a better job in the 2 weeks left until launch than the current designer has.

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Sorry, say boffins, the LHC still hasn't sucked us into a black hole

ColonelClaw

Re: Bravo

I found one of your 'another lot'

https://youtu.be/X-OatBpJq3E?t=1m48s

Actually, after watching that maybe we all deserve to be sucked into a black hole.

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The sad song Samsung's sung: SEVENTH quarterly fail in a row

ColonelClaw

Too many models

A quick scoot over to http://www.samsung.com/uk/consumer/mobile-devices/smartphones/ shows Samsung are selling 39 different smartphones.

Why? God only knows. They seriously need to simplify their lineup, just browsing that page makes my head spin. It's the sure sign of a company that doesn't know which direction to settle on, and therefore ends up going pretty much nowhere overall.

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Gaming's favourite fly by night. Batman: Arkham Knight reviewed

ColonelClaw

Re: Darkness. No Parents.

It's annoying to have to wait, but these days it's worth holding off playing any PC game on release, until at least the first patch. Frustrating, but in the long run you'll be less disappointed.

The games industry has learnt well from Microsoft :P

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Foxconn's going to 'exploit' Indian labour? SCORE! Bye, poverty

ColonelClaw

Best of all those lucky Chinese and Indians get to find out just how things were during the industrial revolution - all thanks to being made to work a 12-hour shift, 6 days a week with sod-all holiday.

That's progress!

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Microsoft to Android OEMs: 'Show me the money'

ColonelClaw

Like I always said

If you can't beat them, beat them up.

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Whose GPUs let it cruise to record revenues? Nvidia, that's who!

ColonelClaw

"But Nvidia said sales of its other GPU category, including the Tesla line for high-performance computing and the Quadro workstation chips, also delivered healthy results"

I can't say I'm surprised. As somebody who buys endless numbers of Quadros, it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside knowing I'm responsible for paying a 300% markup on a cheap GeForce card where the only real difference is the driver.

And before you say "so buy GeForce instead", their performance is absolutely crippled in our 3D software. Trust me, we've tried almost everything on the market, including AMD. Both companies have us bent over.

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Satya Nadella, Year One: Has Microsoft's new CEO cut the mustard?

ColonelClaw

" 5 Feb 2015 at 11:26, Neil McAllister

One year ago, on February 4, 2013"

Er, did 2014 not actually take place?

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Pull up the Windows 10 duvet and pretend Win8 and Vista were BAD DREAMS

ColonelClaw

If it's any help, Scan are *extremely* generous in what qualifies on the hardware front for making an OEM purchase. Speak to a sales rep if you need a copy.

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ColonelClaw

I notice scan.co.uk are still selling Windows 7. Not sure for how much longer, though.

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CES 2015: The good, the mad and the POINTLESS

ColonelClaw

I can't believe you left out the two best gadgets:

http://www.engadget.com/2015/01/06/1099-are-you-kidding-me/

http://www.engadget.com/2015/01/06/skechers-simon-memory-game-into-its-new-kids-sneaker/

And when I say best, I do of course, mean shit.

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Goes like the blazes: Amazon Fire HDX 8.9 late 2014 edition

ColonelClaw

Richard Madeley, Hunger Games and Mail Plus. El Reg, I salute you.

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Why, hello there, Foxy... BYE GOOGLE! Mozilla's browser is a video star

ColonelClaw

Still no 60fps on YouTube in v34, but hopefully it isn't far off.

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18 million iPHONE USERS HAVE NEVER BONKED to ApplePay

ColonelClaw

Something I've been meaning to ask - is it possible to use ApplePay in the UK yet? Or is it just in the USA for now?

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Microsoft: How to run Internet Explorer 11 on ANDROID, iOS, OS X

ColonelClaw

So, if I use it to go to a web site that's infected by a zero-day vulnerability, whose machine get's hacked? Mine? Microsoft's? Both?

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iPad Air 2: Vulture chews on new Apple tablet

ColonelClaw

I'm not 100% sure, but last christmas I bought my 72 year old dad a 16gb Air, and since then he's barely added 2GB of files to it (mostly applications), so it's been absolutely fine. He uses it constantly, primarily to browse the web/read email/listen to the radio etc. I did ask him before I got it if he wanted to put music and films on it, but he has no interest in that.

Personally my iPad is permanently on 63.9 out of 64GB used, but I'm a massive geek and he isn't.

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CATACLYSMIC Sun BELCH causes hour-long RADIO BLACKOUT in SPAAACE

ColonelClaw

You realise that in publishing this article you've just given EE yet another bullshit excuse as to why I get no reception in my office in the middle of London?

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It's a TAB-tastrophe – 83 million fewer units to ship in 2014

ColonelClaw

Note to tech companies: Make your stuff crappier to begin with then we will have a reason to upgrade more often. My 2.5 year old tablet (not saying what it is lest each side of the divide should take offense) still works absolutely fine and does everything what I want it to.

BTW I was being sarcastic about the crappier thing. The trick is to make your new stuff compellingly better.

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Virgin Media DOUBLE-PUNCHED by BSkyB AND BT over ad fibs

ColonelClaw

This reminds me of the time Al Fayed went up against the Hamiltons in court. How the hell are you meant to back when all involved are such scum?

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Vanished blog posts? Enterprise gaps? Welcome to Windows 10

ColonelClaw
Coat

The burning issue...

What I want to know is why Microsoft hired someone from Flock of Seagulls to do the intro video.

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Microsoft WINDOWS 10: Seven ATE Nine. Or Eight did really

ColonelClaw

Dear interface designers, please read this web page as many times as it takes for you to understand why my eyes are bleeding:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_theory

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WHY did Sunday Mirror stoop to slurping selfies for smut sting?

ColonelClaw

The race to the bottom continues at it's furious pace.

No sign of the bottom even coming into view, yet.

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Internet of Stuff: Chip rivals try to stop Cortex-M7 from flexing ARM’s muscle

ColonelClaw

"We are bringing intelligence to what used to be dumb objects."

If ever there was a statement that covers the entire gamut of possible outcomes, from potentially great to probably pointless and frustrating, that would be it.

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Patch Bash NOW: 'Shellshock' bug blasts OS X, Linux systems wide open

ColonelClaw

I suppose the real problem isn't patching Linux and OSX, which can be done in fairly easily and quickly, but is fixing all those millions of boxes and devices out there with the software embedded?

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Chipzilla promises $6 billion to upgrade Israeli plant

ColonelClaw

"Tax holidays" piss me the hell off, in any country. It's the nearest thing I can think of to legalised bribery, and it's being perpetrated by bloody governments!

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Divinity Original Sin and Wasteland 2 reviews: Turn-based gaming's NOT DEAD YET!

ColonelClaw

Both of these games are high up my 'to buy' list, but there's a problem. Since Steam introduced the Steam Sale, I find myself generally only buying games during these sales. Therefore I end up buying 20 plus games 2 or 3 times a year, and not much else outside of these times (apart from the frequent daily random sales). Steam itself has, in effect, turned me into a tight-fisted bastard. Don't think I'm complaining about low prices, I just feel a little sorry for the developers.

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4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch

ColonelClaw

"only four are worth watching anyway"

So, that's Ghostbusters, er, Captain Philips, hmmm, Moneyball? and... and...

help me out here please

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iPhone 6: Advanced features? Pah! Nexus 4 had most of them in 2012

ColonelClaw

Nevertheless...

Could you do your usual TCO article on the 6 and 6 Plus please? I'd like to know which supplier here in the UK offers the least-ripoff contract.

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Intel's DDR4-friendly Xeon workhorses bolt for workstations, servers

ColonelClaw

Disappointed that Intel didn't increase the value proposition of the V3s over the V2s. Instead they just made the new higher core count chips proportionally more expensive. If you spend, say, a thousand quid on a Xeon V2 and a V3 you get very nearly the same amount of processing power. (source: Scan Computers who have them in their store)

Guess that's what happens when you have no competition.

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Mac security packages range from peachy to rancid – antivirus tests

ColonelClaw

Re: Chowder

I also use clamXav, and have yet to catch anything nasty (that I know of). It could be I'm being lax with my security, but I just get the sentry program it comes with to scan anything that appears in my 'downloads' folder, and then make sure anything I download/copy/import/etc passes through said folder. So far so good.

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CNN 'tech analyst' on NAKED CELEBS: WHO IS this mystery '4chan' PERSON?

ColonelClaw
FAIL

Seriously CNN? Chri$t on a fucking bike

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Hot Celebrity? Stash of SELFIES where you're wearing sweet FA? Get 2FA. Now

ColonelClaw

I'm not remotely surprised iCloud itself wasn't breached. If I was trying to hack celebrity grumble pics would I go down the arduous risky route of hacking a cloud server, or just getting an email address via social engineering and brute-force the password? Pretty easy answer.

A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link etc etc

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Is it an iPad? Is it a MacBook Air? No, it's a Surface Pro 3

ColonelClaw

The pen issue is what makes the Surface/Win8 a non-starter for me. In my opinion using a pen on a screen just isn't a very pleasant experience for a number of reasons; I'm yet to come across a pen tip that feels 'right' on glass, and it's awkward to not be able to let the remainder of your hand rest on a touchscreen, like it would on a peice of paper, as you constantly end up inputting involuntary clicks and movements.

The other big issue with an expensive dedicated pen is that they have the habit of getting lost, something that can't be said for my right index finger, which I'm glad to say I'm still using version 1.0 of, since birth.

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Has your IT budget expanded or contracted in the summer heat?

ColonelClaw

Admittedly my company is very small, but I'm happy to report that at the very least the industry we work in, (architectural visualisation i.e. the building idustry) is getting stronger every week. After a few very dodgy years indeed, where we lost half our employees, we now have possibly the largest volume of work in our history. All this means I got to spend £20k on a shiny new Supermicro 2U 4-node rendering device. There's also another 10k or so available to buy a few workstations. It's been over 5 years since our IT spending was anywhere near these levels.

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Apple 5S still best-selling smartphone 8 months after launch

ColonelClaw

Doubtless Samsung are very happy, possibly as happy as Apple. It's just every other phone maker on the planet that aren't.

Funny how so many tech markets turn into two horse races, seems to have been like this for as long as I can remember.

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Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files

ColonelClaw
Coat

I wanted to get one of those iPhone covers...

...but I thought it would make me look even more of a cunt.

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Microsoft takes on Chromebook with low-cost Windows laptops

ColonelClaw
Mushroom

If Microsoft's cheap version of W8 is called "Windows 8.1 with Bing", does that mean that they are saying adding Bing to Windows 8.1 equals a cheaper (i.e. inferior) product? Sounds an awful lot like it to me.

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Microsoft throws Kinect under a bus, slashes Xbox One to $399

ColonelClaw
Joke

Re: XBox 180

Or maybe, going by the handful of games that have been released, the XBox 720p?

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Faster Macbook Air pops out: What, a NEW Apple thing and ZERO fanfare?

ColonelClaw

Re: Wow

I would have sacrificed the processor for an i5 to get flash storage. I will NEVER go back to a mechanical drive, the difference feels like 10-year's worth of processor upgrades.

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Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED

ColonelClaw

"According to the Merc, Apple paid $13.2bn in taxes, far more than Intel's $3bn, Google's $2.3bn, Cisco's $1.9bn, and HP's $1.5bn. In fact, Apple paid more in taxes than those companies combined, plus eBay and Oracle."

Ok, that is surprising. I wonder why? Public shaming actually worked for once? Whatever, it's good news.

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