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* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1210 posts • joined 27 Apr 2010

Brew me up, bro: 11-year-old plans to make BEER IN SPACE

Lamont Cranston
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I'm sure

there's a pun about gravity in here somewhere...

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Bang away – just not 'with friends', Zynga tells naughty hookups app

Lamont Cranston
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Looking at my facebook friend list,

I already know how many of them I want to get jiggy with, and how many of them feel the same way (hint: the answer to both is "1").

I assume the idea behind this app is that it shields users from rejection, but it all seems a little sad (not to mention sordid), nonetheless.

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Sony Xperia Z Ultra: The quad-core 2.2GHz MEGA SCREEN PHONDLESLAB

Lamont Cranston
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Re: I wonder

I can squeeze my Nexus 7 (in flipover case) into most of my jean pockets, so I'd expect this to go in. I'd also expect unsightly bulges, and difficult walking - perhaps those belt clips, so beloved of builders, are due to make a comeback?

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Lamont Cranston
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@joeW

Seems churlish to get a comically oversized phone, and then complain everytime someone points out that you've got a comically oversized phone.

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The life of Pi: Intel to give away Arduino-friendly 'Galileo' tiny-puter

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Your lack of partisanship

is out of place on this forum.

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Bill Gates: Yes, Ctrl-Alt-Del salute was a MISTAKE

Lamont Cranston
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TURBO on a joypad?

Most likely that's an autofire. Often found alongside the Slo-Mo switch, which would repeatedly pause the game (I never did work out how that would be useful).

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Full Steam Ahead: Valve unwraps plans for gaming hardware

Lamont Cranston
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Good points, Shasta.

PC games tend to come with all sort of configuration options (mostly to do with dialling back the graphical effects for older hardware), but I can't see that it would be beyond the wit of Valve to assign the SteamBox a rating for the relevant components, then have preset settings within the games to pick the most optimal configuration for that hardware. If the hardware doesn't make the grade, the Steam won't let the user purchase, but can also advise what upgrades would be required.

Hmm, having types that out, I'm beginning to appreciate all the skepticism, but I'll still look upon this as a worthwhile project.

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Lamont Cranston
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Go

@Shugyosha

Console gamers can be easily impressed by shiny-shiny - if the Steam console launches with some very shiny titles (GTA6, or whatever will be popular next year), it will pique the interest of console gamers, who will buy it in the same way that they buy their XBox/Playstation: to get at the shiny.

When the new XBox/Playstation is due, they will look at replacing, but might then find that, for the cost of a small upgrade, the latest shiny-shiny will be available for their Steam console, which will be cheaper than a new XBox/Playstation. In the process, they may even learn something about what goes on inside their PC/Console hybrid.

I can't help but see this as a good thing - even if it ultimately fails, it's worth a try.

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Regretful selfie-snapping vixens, lads to get shame-hiding digital burqas

Lamont Cranston
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@Eddy Ito

Wow, you've certainly read a lot into one photo of the applicant smoking a joint, the context of which you are almost certainly unaware.

I spotted some kids loitering in the park, last night. Granted, none of them were over the age of 9, but loitering is just the sort of behaviour that I'd associate with undesireables, so we might as well lock them all up and throw away the key.

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Lamont Cranston
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Why should an individual's private life influence whether or not an employer should hire them?

If they turn up for the interview, some out of their minds, then you'd be right to send them packing, but if they gave a great interview, and demonstrated all the required skills, why should a Facebook picture of them smoking a joint (or whatever) be the deciding factor?

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Boris Johnson's ex-right-hand man's right hand lands johnson in web slip

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Mysterious "hackers" strike again

Can hackers really induce a man to pull down his trouers, whip out his iPhone, and snap pictures of his tackle? Or were the pictures taken at a discrete distance, then enhanced with one of those computers they use on CSI?

"Use the trouser-removal algorithm to ENHANCE the crotch image." *dons sunglasses* YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH!

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Want FREE BEER for the rest of your life?

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Been there, done that...

That's nothing. My dad's Bruce Lee, and he drives me to school in K.I.T.T.

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Valve shows Linux love with SteamOS for gamers

Lamont Cranston
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Devices

@Pookietoo: consider me informed.

@Obvious Robert: my printer sits on a different router to my PC (don't ask!), so I don't expect Mint to detect it. Setting it up on Vista wasn't exactly smooth, but it works with full functionality, helped in no small part by the fact that Epson publish all the relevant drivers - if device manufacturers would pull their heads out of their arses and start publishing drivers, I think I'd be a lot happier!

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: In addition to Steam it's also Linux

" fully supports more devices than any other device ever"? Pull the other one - finding appropriate drivers for some pretty mainstream hardware is what puts me off pushing my family on to Linux. Granted, the fault generally lies with the manufacturers, but the fact is that an off the shelf printer/scanner will work fine on Windows/Mac, but I'll be lucky if I can print a wonky test page from my Mint install. I can forgive my TV tuner not working, given that it's from an obscure manufacturer, that appears to no longer exist (even if the chipset is listed as supported in some list I found), but the software required to use the PC as a TV looked pretty crappy in comparison with Media Centre.

Ranting aside, this SteamOS idea could well push Linux towards mainstream acceptance, which I would welcome (mainstream acceptance = recognition by device manufacturers).

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iOS 7 SPANKS Samsung's Android in user-experience rating

Lamont Cranston
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@monkeyfish

Those are some depressing truths.

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Lamont Cranston
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re: flawed

I agree. I'd have liked to the them included a naked version of Android (a Nexus 4, or whatever). I wonder how much of the "cognitive load" on the Android sample came from TouchWiz?

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Lighting bods blind designophiles with LED-powered lounge lamps

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Designers

Godfrey Bloom says that my wife should be sorting that out. I'm waiting for him to pop round and explain that to her, as I'm certainly not going to!

(Fighting one sexist stereotype with another? How postmodern of me.)

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Facebook Frankenphoto morgue will store cold, dead selfies FOREVER

Lamont Cranston
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"shingled drive products"?

I'd just finished pebble dashing my HDD, too.

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Google smacks Surface with free Quickoffice for Android, iOS

Lamont Cranston
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I like the sound of this.

If they can sort out an easy way of printing from Android, I'd even be tempted to invest in a keyboard for my Nexus 7 - granted, it won't completely replace a PC, but it'd be ideal for bashing out the odd letter and maintaining my gas/electric spreadsheet. MSOffice is overkill for the home user.

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Michael Gove: C'mon kids, quit sexting – send love poems instead

Lamont Cranston
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Romance, eh?

"Roses are red,

Cabbage is green,

I like your legs,

And the bit inbetween."

Piss off, Gove.

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Shopping list for Tesco: Eggs, milk, bread, tablets (the £60 7in Android kind)

Lamont Cranston
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Re: How do you pronounce it?

I'm assuming it's "huddle", as in "let's all huddle round the tablet and watch YouTube videos".

£60 (+howevermanyClubcardPoints) is the sort of price where I would consider giving in to the kids and letting them have one. Tesco are probably big enough to shift these in significant numbers, too.

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TPG flashes cheeky 'down under' CAPTCHA

Lamont Cranston
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Mushroom,

mushroom!

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Reg Reader -meeeehhhhh

I assumed that this article was more in the vein of "hee hee, it says BUM!", rather than "grr, that's an offensive word - OUTRAGE!".

That said, there are doubtless plenty of uptight numpties who would be thrown into fits of apoplexy by the sight of the word "rectum".

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it ... Win Phone 8? No, it's APPLE'S iOS 7

Lamont Cranston
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Translucency?

Wasn't that Microsoft's big thing when they introduced Aero with Vista? They should sue, or summat.

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THE TRUTH about beaver arse milk in your cakes: There's nothing vanilla about vanilla

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Luwak coffee - a question

Kopi Luwak is delicious, assuming you like coffee but dislike it's bitterness (you could, of course, obtain the same effect for less money by buying your coffee at Starbucks).

My wife's a vegetarian, but didn't see anything wrong with Kopi Luwak (apart from the whole "you're drinking brewed poo").

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Phil Collins' daughter 'will give you A VIRUS' – security bods

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Re: Personally if i was spreading a virus

Mortal Instruments is probably the next Twilight/Hunger Games/Harry Potter, so full marks to the virus makers for staying abreast of the current trends.

Full marks to them for being appalling human beings, too.

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Pizza drones, mad cyclists and Bitcoin-for-arms traders: A vision of LNDN 2023

Lamont Cranston
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I can't tell if this is real, or some clumsy attempt at satire.

I already think that London is overrun with wankers, so maybe it makes no difference.

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It's official: The iPhone 5S bling-mobe IS chavvy. OR, Burberry isn't

Lamont Cranston
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Re: To paraphrase the darling of ElReg, Stephen Fry.......

I thought that was Alan Coren?

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Torvalds: 'We're not doing Linux95 … for a few years, at least'

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "Suicidal squirrel”

That's a good point - I did see a couple when I was in Scotland, last year, which were quite the novelty to a southener like myself.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: "Suicidal squirrel”

No problem with flattened, red squirrels, in the UK - the American grey competed them out of existence.

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Massively leaked iFail 5S POUNDS pundits, EXCITES chavs

Lamont Cranston
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Re: What a pile of immature excrement.

I liked because it was angry. Most amusing. I don't normally bother with the SFTW? column, but this was superb.

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Have you tried turning it off and on again - oh, you did: IT Crowd RETURNS

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Friday night telly!!!

Far more excited about Agents of SHIELD, to be honest - don't think that the IT Crowd is one of Linehan's better efforts.

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David Attenborough warns that humans have stopped evolving

Lamont Cranston
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Re: the future's bright, the future's orange

Did everyone view Idiocracy as a documentary, rather than a piece of entertainment (or have I made the similar mistake of taking this forum far too seriously)?

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Should Nominet ban .uk domains that use paedo and crim-friendly words?

Lamont Cranston
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Facepalm

I could see banning offensive words,

although you then wind up with "scunthorpe" becoming proscribed, so that's probably unworkable, but compiling a list of otherwise innocent words that may (or may not) be used by undesirables to refer to illicit activities? Would this see meow-meow.uk being banned, as it might possibly be a page about mephedrone, rather than kittens?

Still, maybe paedos are as thick as Nominet seem to think, and forcing them to rethink their vocabulary will drive them off the internet? Mumsnet will be thrilled, I'm sure.

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US mobile app dominance threatened by ANGRY BIRDS revolution

Lamont Cranston
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I'd heard the same (on Radio 4, I think),

but I'd expect that Rovio must be making a pretty penny on merchandising, too.

Simple game? Cute character(s)s? HERE, HAVE ALL THE MONEY, JUST GIVE ME A T-SHIRT!

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Facebook strips away a bit more of your privacy – but won't say why

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Hang on...

It's about as robust as the "I am over 18 and legally permitted to view this hardcore smut" button that I, I mean some people, regularly click through without reading.

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MYSTERY of Guardian mobos and graphics cards which 'held Snowden files'

Lamont Cranston
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I can't speak for the Guardian, or GCHQ,

but I routinely store my laptop in a liquid nitrogen bath, to avoid data loss, so this all seems perfectly cromulent to me.

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Dr Dre's Beats plans to drop HTC, hook up with rich mate – report

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Sennheiser

Upvoted, for the last sentence!

I use a pair of earbuds, when out and about, purely because I can squish them into a pocket when they're not in use.

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Getting worried, Assange? WikiLeaks spaffs out 'insurance' info

Lamont Cranston
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The risk of being extradited by the UK

is the reason for him hiding in the Ecuadorian embassy, is it not?

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Think your smutty Snapchats can't be saved by dorks? THINK AGAIN

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Meh

To quote my old French teacher, upon pausing a video, and inadvertantly giving the class a wobbly view of one, out of focus, mammary: "Eh, once you've seen one, you've seen them both."

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'Hand of Thief' banking Trojan reaches for Linux – for only $2K

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

@Condiment

Eek! Did he cross the line into libel, or something?

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Lamont Cranston
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At last, Linux is being treated as a mainstream OS.

WHAT'S EADON'S TAKE ON THIS?

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NSA gets burned by a sysadmin, decides to burn 90% of its sysadmins

Lamont Cranston
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Terminator

"No one has wilfully or knowingly ... tried to invade your civil liberties or privacies."

It was the machines what done it.

Huzzah - plausable deniability! Well done that man, have a promotion.

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Cameron demands Brits BOYCOTT angry-troll-infested websites

Lamont Cranston
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Don't like being bullied on the internet?

Don't go on the internet.

Thanks, Dave! Hold on - isn't this exactly the opposite of the message that Stella Creasy et al. have been trying to get across?

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Chubby-chasing SEX TROLLS ran me offline, says fashion blogger

Lamont Cranston
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@NukEvil

The more I use the "this being the internet, this sort of thing should be more or less expected" arguement, the less I like it.

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Wii U sales plunge: Nintendo hopes Mario and Zelda will shift some kit

Lamont Cranston
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I'd quite like a WiiU, for the kids,

but I can't really see it offering anything more than the Wii does. That, I think, is Nintendo's problem: the Wii is perfect for casual/early years gaming, and still is. If I wanted to get back in to "serious" gaming, Ī'd upgrade my PC, or buy one of Sony/Microsoft's offerings.

That said, there's a good few months before the PS4/XBox1 become available, so there's still the chance that some killer title for the WiiU will appear. Don't think I'll be holding my breath, though.

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ISPs: Relax. Blocking smut online WON'T really work

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Competence

" In any other area (defence, health, treasury etc.) you'd expect the people involved to have at least some semblance of understanding of the topic that they're meddling in.".

Yeah, that'll happen.

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Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Being a responsible parent, I decided that I would

use OpenDNS to filter my net connection (I've got a few years before the kids understand enough to know what they need to change to get around something like that, by which time I should be comfortable discussing "adult content" with them). Luckily for me, BT have locked down the DNS settings on their latest HomeHubs, necessitating that I either a) use their software filtering (not a enticing prospect, given the volume/variety of devices in the household, or b) faff about with the firmware on my own router to enable me to bypass the HomeHub settings.

Thanks, BT, for making it more difficult to be a responsible parent (I pity the tech-illiterate), and making Cameron's "default on" filter seem like an attractive option in the eyes of my better half.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Just get the filters installed and everyone shut up.

Quite right, Anonymous Coward. Why, just the other day, I was casually surfing the web, when I found myself confronted by a wealth of grot; before I knew it, I'd accidentally caused the deaths of three children, and maimed a dog.

My wife was livid when the penalty notice came through the post.

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Capita IT Services staff plan strike over pay this Friday

Lamont Cranston
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All the more reason for the top brass

to behave equitably, then.

Idealistic, moi?

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